#but alas. it is hard for me to write u_u

[slumbergoblin]

Hi Mei :)

[capribornio]

I decided to liveblog my reactions to the HS epilogue. Now, I’m spoiled already on what happens, but there’s so much confusing bullshit I think it will be interesting regardless. My Choice, by the way, is not choosing at all. So! I’ll begin with Meat Page 1, and then jump to Candy Page 1. So I’ll be seeing how the pages compare between each other. Let’s begin!

MEAT EPILOGUE ONE

Or to put it in another way:

Epilogue Meat Epilogue 1 Page 1

The text says that the meat is undercooked but unless Calliope changed her tastes “undercooked” is a massive understatement. And not only the meat description is hilariously gross, but John is also being a disaster at eating it.

I find it hilarious how the narration says “Lord English” and John thinks “Caliborn”. That is some beautiful irony.

Calliope looks... well, her face is a permanently grinning skull. You’ll be damned if you know what’s on her mind either.

That is patently not true. We see the cherubs emoting quite a bit. ??? I guess the “dubious canonicity” applies here too.

Christ, why did you have to eat that meat like such a slob?

Lmao John.

You head to your bathroom and wash all the meat off your face. But somehow you still don’t feel that clean. An invisible layer of oil seems to cling to almost every square inch of your body no matter how hard you scrub.

Hmm. This feels… foreshadowy somehow?

John writing letters for his friends, just like he did in the firsts Acts. :’-)

It says that he zaps back into canon, but… Hmm.

Anyway! Time to see what happens in…

Epilogue Candy Epilogue 1 Page 1

AKA. Somehow, it’s even less canon.

John is 100% sure he made the right choice at the beginning of both paths.

Incredibly tasty splinters, the consistency of which have absolutely no existential baggage to them.

I like how this both implies that the splinters don’t really “exist”, as well as they aren’t loaded with the usual Homestuck questioning about existence. They may not really exist, but they also don’t care about Really Existing.

The splinters dissolve quickly, leaving behind the impression they were made of nothing at all, but for a cloying essence determined to linger behind.

I can only think about dreambubble ghosts. Mostly (Vriska) refusing to stay irrelevant. She has… Determination.

So what if he wants to make an insubstantial, superficial, and sappy decision?

Now I’m just wondering how many doomed timelines exist were John decided to do something stupid and superficial ala what happened to the Davesprite timeline.

It seems John is having trouble justifying the decision to himself, though. I think he really wanted to go after all.

CALLIOPE: are you absolUtely sUre aboUt this, john?

He looks up at the trees, at the sunlight glittering through the crisscrossing fronds. Has the sky always been that blue?

Sorry, Callie. You’re in the not-canon tl already.

CALLIOPE: oh, john, this is amazing! i have sUch big plans for yoU!

Girl, you’re scaring me. What do you mean you have plans? For how long have you been waiting for this? Heck, when did you find out about the Decision anyway?

CALLIOPE: let poor gamzee oUt of the fridge, john.

CALLIOPE: the time has come. u_u

YES!!! HELL YES!!! HELL FUCKING YES!!!

Oh I can’t wait to see what fucking awful thing he’s gonna do. He has been silenced for so long, even longer than you think, Callie. It’s Time. My awful, terrible clown son will be here. The trilogy of Lord English characters that I cherish will be a complete album. *Sheds a tear* Bring him into Relevance, and into my arms.

he has sUffered enoUgh!

JOHN: ...

JOHN: HAS he, though?

Having said that, though, I agree with John. Being humiliated by Vriska for three years can hardly be called enough.

She smiles at him benignly, apparently having no opinion whatsoever on this topic.

This, however, is Strange. I mean, this is pre-retcon Roxy, who was close friends with dear sweet precious DEAR sweet Fefeta. I dunno, maybe it’s been a long time, but I don’t think Roxy would want to revive one of the murderers of his friend.

If this is to be the Age of Redemption, then let it begin, he decides. Not with a bang, but a honk.

HOOOOONK.

Anyway, that’s it for now. See ya next time.