#but also im fixed on it cause this shit is a fucking DUMPSTER FIRE

[solari-writes-things]

Breathe

requested by: @supervalcsi

THIS IS SO CUTE BUT SO SAD IM HERE FOR IT. This also has potential for a multi part thing. Not sure. It’s a hard maybe.

Prompt:

#43: How long have you been standing there?

#46: Why aren’t you afraid of me?

Happy Lowman x Reader

WARNINGS: language, violence, alluded harassment

gif isn’t mine, credited below!

SoA Tag List: @chibsytelford​ |  @thebookishfeminist​ | @crimsonheart01​ |  @tsumethedrifter​ |  @sazafraz​ |  @kind-wolf​​ (if you wish to be included, please message me or comment below)

Revolt rippled away through your body, a hand clasped over your chest as you tried to even out your heartbeat.

You were forced into a situation that you had to eject yourself from. It wasn’t by your own doing, and that just made your lungs feel like they were doing flips in your chest.

Just breathe, you’ll be fine... you had been telling yourself that since you had retreated to the bathroom in the establishment. You were at a small bar with Happy, whom had asked you to accompany him for a drink in privacy since he had decided to take an interest in you about a month ago. He didn’t mind paying for drinks out of pocket, if it meant getting to know you a little better. The idea seemed thrilling, all things considered. He was mysterious, an interesting character that you had noticed stalking around the clubhouse.

You had thought about every situation about how this could go. Everything in your head had played out fine, with the exception of this.

You didn’t anticipate breathing scum to be traversing the bar. Someone who was watching you closely until your company had stood up for just a moment to take a call in the quiet. When they approached, you stated that you were accounted for and went about your business. But when they kept pushing, you became more and more adamant until you stood up and charged off.

You were hunched over one of the bathroom sinks, moving your eyes up so you stared at yourself evenly in the mirror. You focused on your heart rate, listening to it slow in your ears. You inhale slowly, exhaling for a few seconds before sucking it up and fixing your disheveled hair.

You dust yourself off, checking to make sure there was no scuffs in your outfit. Even with what had occurred, you wanted to be presentable for the SAMCRO member. He was taking time out of his day for you, and you were here for him. Even if you both had to relocate, or find something new to do, it wasn’t going to get done while you were hiding in the restroom.

So taking one more confident breath in, you hum to yourself in affirmation before turning on your heels and pushing the bathroom door open with a little more gusto than you had anticipated. Your eyes surfed the crowd, trying to pinpoint both Happy and the scum who tried to chat you up. 

Only to see that both of them were gone.

So you excuse yourself through a crowd, side stepping around the folk who were forming small powwows to chat away with one another. You make your way to the bar, where Hap and you had taken your seats for the night and signal over the bartender.

He shuffles over to you once he tops off a couple draft beers, eyeing you evenly to make your request.

Instead, you hit him with a question. “Did you see where the guy I was sitting with?”

“He paid his tab and left without saying anything,” the bartender replied, picking up an empty glass and wiping it down with a rag.

You nod your head, averting your eyes as you thought about what could have warranted him retreating. “Alright. Thanks.”

The bartender gives a brief nod before moving to attend to someone who had signaled him near the end of the bar.

You let out a defeated sigh, adjusting your bag on your shoulder before pushing your way toward the door. You didn’t think that Happy would be the kind of person to remove himself while you were away. Not unless the club had requested his presence.

Your head begins to file through the possibilities of what could have happened, and when your hand rested on the door is when the chips began to fall in place for you. Your mind circled back around to when you left the bathroom to rejoin Hap, noting once again that the harasser had been missing from the bar in the mere few minutes you were gone.

Shit.

You hurry out of the door, looking around for any sign of what could have happened. The neighborhood that the two of you were in was remote. Aside from the crowd lingering outside of the bar, it was desolate. No cars rolling down the street, nobody adventuring past a few feet from the front door. You scan the street, remembering Happy had parked his bike rather close to your car.

There it stood, camouflaged in the surrounding darkness. The only thing that stood out about it was the white anarchy symbol on the front.

He hadn’t left the area.

So you adjust your bag once more and search for any signs. You begin to walk further down the sidewalk, focusing on the noise around you to see when the bar music would begin to drop off. Once the muffled noise faded from earshot, you shot your head up to look for anything Happy could remotely hide behind so he wasn’t in view. Alleys, dumpsters, anything that he could obstruct the view of his face.

You move just a few feet down before you hear whimpering, the tone familiar to the one that cursed your ears just fifteen minutes before. You hear his whining muffle, and a few sharp blows to a body.

That had to have been Happy. Nothing else made sense.

You quickly and quietly jog up to the opening of an alley, turning to your right. However, what you saw caused you to pause at the entrance and watch.

Happy had beaten the man till he was nothing but blood and tears, their face swollen and their arms constricting around their body to shrivel away from the biker. Happy was standing up straight, staring down at the pathetic display in front of him.

You only reacted, though, when Happy reached into the back of his jeans and brandished the gun that you knew he kept on his person.

“Hap, wait!” you immediately bark, causing him to reel his head toward you suddenly. He didn’t hear you approaching, and the sudden sound of your voice had startled him.

“How long have you been standing there?” is all that he asked, barrel of his gun still aimed down at the man he had followed out of the bar.

“Long enough,” is your response. “Hap, if you fire that thing, everyone within a three mile radius will hear. I just want to get back to spending time together, okay? Please put down the gun, you made your point.”

“No, I haven’t,” he replied, his face serious.

“Happy, yes you have. Look at him,” you gesture to the man, who had essentially lay in the fetal position with his back against the wall. His eyes were wide, staring down the barrel of the pistol that had been held up at him.

Happy’s gaze moved back to the man, his lip curling up in disgust at the sight. However, he disarmed the pistol and tucked it in the back of his jeans once again. He didn’t let the man off easily, though, his now leather clad hands gripping at the front of his shirt and roughly lifting him upright. He slammed their back against the wall, which caused a yelp that was almost loud enough to be heard.

“Come sniffing around again, I’ll finish what I fucking started,” Happy sneered and shoved the guy toward the entrance of the alleyway.

You moved out of the way as he stumbled back into the open, watching as he limped off in the opposite direction of the bar. You exhale softly, your eyes moving back to study Happy.

Only now were you able to see small details that were different. He had stray flecks of red on his SAMCRO shirt, but his black hoodie was seemingly untouched in the darkness. You observed him closely as he peeled off of his gloves and shoved them into his back pocket.

You were aiming to be the first one to break the silence, but Happy seemed to beat you to the punch.

“Why aren’t you afraid of me?” he questioned, interlocking the two ends of his dark hoodie. He pulled the zipper up, straightening his posture the higher it raised. Once it was zipped, his eyes met with yours and he tucked his hands into his pockets.

He was right. Even seeing the bloodthirsty animosity in his eyes, you weren’t afraid. In fact, you were more allured to him than before. Most people would cower at the raw emotion you saw. However, you more focused on the aspect of him listening to you to lower the gun. Strangely endeared that he would go out of his way to make sure scum like that wouldn’t offend again.

“Why would I be afraid of someone who was trying to defend me?” you ask simply, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Because I was about to kill him if you didn’t stop me,” he stated.

The matter-of-fact tone in his voice sent a small chill down your spine, but not one that would prompt you to run. The fact that he knew what he was capable of, and elected to ignore his base instincts to cater to yours was something to behold.

“I, honestly, thought you would have. Even if I said something,” you admitted.

“Who’s to say I won’t?” Happy chides. “I’m just not here for him. I came to be with you, so I’m gonna stick to my guns.”

You let out an exasperated chuckle, shaking your head at the remark you assumed had been something along the lines of sarcasm. Until the tone of his voice clicked in your head.

“Wait, how’re you going to do that?” you ask him.

Happy reaches into his jeans, gripping something in his pockets. He brandishes a wad of cash, but then turned it to reveal a California Driver’s License had been hidden inside.

You sigh heavily, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Okay, I don’t need to know anymore. Can we just figure out where else to go?”

Happy shoves the wad back in his pocket before nodding his head. “Yeah. You choose this time.”

[everyoneprotector]

Quotes 2020 (May to December)

this shitty year has come to a close, you know what that means?

here are the quotes i have complied over the past few months!

A teacher: What are you watching Me: Documentary about pilgrims The teacher, who teaches science: *looses her shit*

---

My SOR teacher: Catholics are going to hell, buddists are going to hell, hindus are going to hell because the protestants think that they arent the right flavour

---

a teacher: are you doing alright? me: yeah why? the teacher: i think you should see the councillor. me: wait why? the teacher: you look sad me: oh no thats just how i look *hides the sad documentary about fish*

---

me: i have upsetti their spaghetti, if you will my twin: jesus christ dude

---

“if im the only person in this house having a crisis about how poor unfortunate souls and master of the house sound similar im gonna flip uhuhuhuh my shit!” - Arti, May 7th 2020

---

one of the boys: hey miss do you wanna play fortnite with us substitute teacher: no thanks, ive never played and im not going to start now

---

my brother: i cant believe a meme named an entire generation me: they were always called boomers, dumbass my brother: what me: baby boomers. thats the name. slut

---

me, whispering: do you want to fight god? my twin: no me, still whispering: coward

---

a girl: why are you actually working her friend: cause some people need to pay bills. the 1st girl: ill be able to pay the bills her friend: yeah, with the money i give you.

---

my twin: you already are insane me: shut up! i fought god and won!

---

me: is the horse going to die my mother: no me: *deep sigh* then why-

---

my father: be good me: you too my father: no >:(

---

me: this is my comfort rabbit, Brick my friend: the name is the opposite to him!

---

me: *shows a friend Brick* the friend: fuck it. Worm on a rabbit man the friend: *puts a worm on string on brick*

---

“do you want me to make you into a cuck?” - and other things you shouldnt say to teachers

---

my 7yr old sister: is your grandad alive dad? my 50yr old dad: nope, my grandma is alive though, shes 95 my 7yr old sister: she’s older than dinosaurs!

---

me: jesus took the wheel and sent me straight into the void

---

me: hey fix my hunger my twin: no me: i know how you could do it. Murder me. All the cool kids have murder charges now!

---

my teacher: okay so we’re on the phone with the insurance my class: *silence* my teacher: okay so dad my class: HI DAD

---

“You’re going to wake up tomorrow and not know if your sick because of salmonella or potatos” - Me, 2020

---

me: you know what you can do but really shouldnt my twin: mass murder me: i was going to say eating a creme caramel straight out of the packet

---

my twin: mi chiamo puta!  me: NO

---

me: so thats why Level Of Concern hits different while living in *our home town *, because we're so removed from the rest of not only Australia but the world. Everywhere's getting hit with either second waves of covid or fires or their first wave isnt over, and its just like watching a dumpster be put of fire but also being able to put it out and - my twin, who woke up five minutes ago: 

---

my friend: ill check out the visual art rules me: i bet youre not allowed to bring a spear gun to school my friend: YEAH NO SHIT

---

“I don’t have the emotional capacity for you to make chlorine gas” and other things i shouldn’t say at work

[nightmare-chaser]

Ok so I'll try my best here to explain, but also i might be missin info and also its been a while. As i remember/understand/experienced it, the porn ban was influential less because of the ban itself but more for the aftermath

So like, the ban itself, you yourself already hit on why it was such a big deal: porn was banned basically everywhere else. Tumblr was one of very few major sites where u could be horny and post nsfw without just being a porn site yknow, so we sorta had a culture around that. Like, horny on main was a thing that im pretty sure started there, there were jokes about how you couldnt check tumblr in public in case you accidentally saw a penis, jokes about having a mutual get horny late at night and putting dicks on your dash, just jokes about accidentally running into porn in general yknow, it was like a big pillar. Another aspect of it was that, at the time, tumblr also had a lot of sex workers, not the porn bot problem that's been around since site inception, just sex workers using tumblr as their main platform for their work since it wasnt exploitative like porn sites were. Tumblr was also just in general very sex-positive, and still is in some circles, and so the sudden ban of nsfw was just a kick in the face

So, the porn ban was big, not only did it forcibly sanitize a site that *did not want to be sanitized*, it also caused a lot of those sex workers a lot of problems since they couldnt work off here anymore. And that would be bad enough, *if* it had been done well

It wasn't.

Tumblr staff has gotten much better since it got bought by wordpress, but this was in the yahoo days and that was a fucking dumpster fire, yahoo nearly ran tumblr into the ground. We joke now about causing yahoo to lose 3 billion dollars, which is honestly a major point of pride since we did manage to run a corporation away from us, but the truth of it is that we got scary close to going down, there were many updates in those years where we'd have like a solid week after of people saying bye and how they had a nice time here and how to stay in contact, etc., the site shutting down was a reoccuring ghost

The porn ban was the first of those updates. People thought that tumblr was ending, was going to shit, and so there was a mass exodus in protest and also just in thinking tumblr was dying yknow, lots and lots of users fled the site to go to twitter instead

But it.... made the site better? Ok, wait, let me explain: the porn ban didnt do anything to improve the site, it actively made the site worse.

(It didnt get rid of porn bots, it didnt get rid of the pedophiles, it didnt get rid of the nazis, it did massively hurt queer creators on the queer website since, as with most porn bans everywhere, queer shit got marked as nsfw for wayyyy less than straight stuff, the ai they used to detect nsfw was so stupid it was flagging lots of completely innocent posts like flowers and buses and shit, and the ban rules themselves were misleading and incomprehensible and incompetent)

(We still joke about the "female-presenting nipples" line)

However, the people who fled to twitter? Turned out to be all the most dramatic discoursers we had. The people who stuck around were all the chill folks, so suddenly, almost overnight, tumblr went from a cesspit of the worst the internet had to offer to a bastion of chill energy. Dont get me wrong, we still have our stupid ass discourse, but it was wayyyyy worse back before the ban

So yeah, tl;dr - the porn ban was a horrible idea to start, that was implemented so poorly that it fixed nothing it was supposed to and actively made many new problems, but it caused a mass exodus of all the worst users, so the current chill site culture is because of it

(Also thats why twitter is now the cesspit of the internet and we fired rent lowering shots when they showed up vs us welcoming u, we dont want their crazy asses back fuck that)

can someone explain the porn ban

Obviously it's dumb but why was it like the most controversial thing ever to happen to this platform (porn is banned on lots of other places)

and like it was sort of reversed but not really??

[shibascarf]

I FOUND SOME FLUFF FOR YOU GUYS

Dug this out of my old chatlogs with @egoldtist​

i think they and i both did a tiny bit of drawings for this one too

here is 50′s au:

sofa: its just the jli as a weird vaguely incompetent 50s biker gang who try to cause A Ruckus but more often than not they just band together to drive out neighborhood threats

sofa: in any period au ted totally kind of hits on booster as a joke, to like tease him, and boosters like haha yeah right funny

sofa : until the dawning realization takes him

shibe : i love that like.... paradoxically.... the more open and queer-friendly a time period is, the more closeted ted is for some reason

shibe: hahahhaha

sofa : yeah omg

shibe : like, the more likely his flirting jokiness is to be taken seriously, the more cautious he becomes

shibe : i feel like if gayness had a death penalty, ted would be running around playing gay chicken like HA HA

sofa : HONESTLY

shibe : what a strange chubby man

sofa : true but i love him

shibe : i'm just imagining biker ted's bike

shibe : which he clearly calls the bug

sofa : oh absolutely

sofa : he probably builds in a side car later

shibe : ahhhhhhh

sofa : because as is soon very apparent, booster should be no where near bikes

shibe : the sidecar is dubbed "skeets"

shibe : because its squeaks

sofa : YES

shibe : booster trying to look intimidating in that sidecare tho

shibe : big goggles and all

shibe : they pull up alongside a convertible and booster has to look UP to stare the driver down

sofa : hes pretty sour about it

shibe : he looks great when they're in the pool hall. he's got a nice leather jacket. he's tall. he's' buff

shibe : but then you follow him out to the parking lot and he hops into that sidecar

sofa : its all over

sofa : he tries to do something to prove hes intimidating which is mostly ted driving around while booster smashes what he can from his sidecar

shibe : with a crowbar

sofa : they knock an old lady's mailbox over but she catches them and theyre like OH SHIT

shibe : DRIVE TED DRIVE

sofa : she catches them and in order to avoid prison time they get stuck using up their whole afternoon fixing it for her

shibe : but they do genuinely feel pretty bad

sofa : true

sofa : they repaint it and everything

sofa : it looks pretty bad but they tried

shibe : bea and tora ride by to just... watch and shake their heads

sofa : honestly

sofa : even guy gets in on it

sofa : just to make fun of them

shibe : guy's the asshole that drives through a mud puddle nearby to get it all over them

sofa : guy better be careful that old lady'll get him too

shibe : are you kidding, he petsits her cats every summer

shibe : (no one knows)

sofa : no one can EVER know

shibe : i'm sure they all go to the ice cream parlor and dance at sock hops

sofa : oh man absolutely

sofa : only about 3 of them can actually dance everyone else is pretty bad

shibe : ted's an amazing dancer for sure

sofa : booster can probably lift up whoever hes dancing with

sofa : ohhh yes absolutely

shibe : BOOSTER AND TED DOING THE JITTERBUG

sofa : YES

shibe : booster being like man, ted, you ever get jealous that the chicks get to wear those poofy petticoats and poodle skirts?

shibe : ted's like whatt

shibe : "ahahhaha  no nothing never mind"

sofa : yessss omfg

shibe : he totally has never been caught wearing michelle's when no one's home

shibe : it's not even a sexual thing, he just loves skirts and dresses

sofa : absolutely

sofa : they just look so GOOD its not FAIR

shibe : they're so SWISHY and POOFY and fun

sofa : theyre probably not as hot either

shibe : than leather? hahahhahah for sure

sofa : ted probably thinks about what he said later like

sofa : its not like he'd look BAD in them- ok wait nO

shibe : buys booster a jacket with a poodle on the back of it

shibe : like here

sofa : BOOSTER LOVES IT

sofa : he looks so happy about it

shibe : BEA COME LOOK AT MY JACKET

sofa : even though he cant wear it out much

shibe : tora tora toraaaaaaaaaaa look at this jacket

sofa : ted got it for me

sofa : teds the BEST

shibe : "why does it have a poodle on it booster"

[8 shibe : it's.... an inside joke

sofa : its between us...... 'friends'

shibe : "by 'friends' do you mean guys that make out in the boys bathroom and smoke together during homeroom"

shibe : BEA

sofa : THATS IT BEA

sofa : teds like "what cant two guys just pal around and kiss each other... for laughs.... come on"

shibe : "it's practice bea"

shibe : "we're practicing for junior prom. i'm gonna ask michelle out"

shibe : "NO UR NOT."

shibe : don't you even LOOK at my sister u creep

sofa : that's how ted realizes hes really, really actually gay

sofa : hes like kissing girls compared to kissing booster is not.. its not as good

sofa : fuck

shibe : he's at prom like "oh geeze"

shibe : "i've made a huge mistake"

sofa : hes so alarmed

sofa : on one hand hes trying to figure out how deep in denial he can be and on the other its like

sofa : what about booster

sofa : does booster like kissing girls more than kissing me

shibe : oh noooooooooooooooooooooo

shibe : booster's across the room slow-dancing with bea and sticks his tongue out at ted

sofa : ted just tries to act natural but hes totally thinking of asking booster to slow dance in private later

shibe : he's like "okay do i come up with an excuse or do i just ask him for real"

shibe : truthfully booster doesn't think kissing ted is like.... a huge amount better than kissing girls.  it's just better with ted because ted is fun and good with mechanics and gets it when booster is complaining about guy stuff

shibe : but then when he considers that dating a girl would mean not kissing ted anymore he's like ........nah i'm good

sofa : no thanks

shibe : i'm dying, just think of bea/tora making a deal with booster/ted to be each other's beards

sofa : OHHH H YES

shibe : they even stage a fake pregnancy scare one time so that eveyrone thinks they're a totally sexually active teen het romance

sofa : the challenge is to not act too outrageous while theyre on 'dates' because ted will start cracking up at any stupid thing booster tries while 'dating' bea

sofa : OHH MY GOD U KIDS

shibe : bea's like "i dunno" but then tora points out that it basically means they get to go on dates for free b/c the guys have to foot the bill

sofa : it leads to extremely cheap dates

sofa : but extremely cheap dates they still don't have to pay for

shibe : i'm trying to imagine ted and booster like.... slow-dancing outside the gymnasium by the dumpster, with earth angel playing tinnily from the door

shibe : cry

sofa : ohhhh no that's too cute

shibe : michelle like... keeping watch on the steps, smiling fondly

sofa : shes very proud of her brother but also: his tastes

sofa : because despite the gang stuff teds obviously still a nerd

shibe : the sheer relief that ted doesn't want to date her for real

sofa : HONESTLY

sofa : im dying purely in thought of all the gestures booster must do that counts as "look we're going steady" but no one will like go out of their way to ask them about

sofa : like giving ted his jacket

shibe : or his ring

shibe : or his pin

sofa : or carrying his books or something

sofa : YEAH

sofa : TEDS SO FLUSTERED but hes gotta keep it cool

shibe : guy thoroughly beating the shit out of anyone that laughs about them behind their backs

sofa : its enough to scare ppl into backing off at least

sofa : guy def still teases them all the damn time tho

shibe : oh totally

shibe : but like, no one else gets to

shibe : guy cracks a joke at their expense and someone in earshot laughs

shibe : and guy just spins around like YOU WANT SOME

sofa : i bet all of them get detention together too

sofa : that's usually when they collaborate with what they have to cover up at least like, 3 of guys worst cuts, and also to fuck around and copy off of ted's homework

shibe : i love that ted is like... a nerdy biker delinquent

shibe : how charming

sofa : YEAH

sofa : ppl are like, hes a bright charming young man, but hes such a trouble maker

sofa : shaking their heads

shibe : FOR HALLOWEEN

shibe : for halloween

shibe : booster dresses in drag and finally finally gets to wear his poodleskirt

shibe : it's the only acceptable time

sofa : YES

sofa : ppl think its a joke and he plays it off as much

shibe : oh for sure

shibe : but inside, he's glowing

shibe michelle plays along and goes as a greaser

sofa : but he keeps shooting these sneaky glances @ ted and ted has to shove him like CMON

shibe : "get it, we're twins, we did a set"

sofa : yesss yes omg

shibe : and at the halloween dance booster finally gets to dance in his poodle skirt

shibe : and he looks amaaaazing

sofa : ted is on fire like. the whole time

sofa : drags booster out back like I NEED TO TALK TO YOU

sofa : (there is 0 actual talking)

shibe : ahahhahhahahha

shibe : yesssss

shibe : it's like, legitimately the best day of booster's life. and that includes the time he made the varsity football team

sofa : yes absolutely

sofa : boosters probably just really glad hes got so much goin for him

sofa : like the varsity team, and a group of people who genuinely like him, and also ted

shibe : and a sister that's really helpful and supportive when she's not teasing him mercilessly

sofa : yes

sofa : auuug h h i just realized booster must have the stupid football jacket too damn it

shibe : ahhahahhahhahahhahahh ayes eysyesyesyesyesyes

sofa : im also thinkin like....... what if...... ted needs glasses... like those really thick ones

sofa : he doesn't wear them unless hes working on something REALLY important but he still def needs them

shibe : ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

shibe : big old coke glasses

shibe : booster reading menus aloud for ted

sofa : yessss omg

sofa : ted also coming over to fix anything that breaks in the carter family house because he knows they cant really afford to hire anybody

shibe : ah oh noooooooooooooo

shibe : booster and michelle working a bunch of jobs to help their mom

sofa : y es omg

sofa : assuming of course teds family is still rich he probably like goes to... any number of their jobs and tips them with like. all his pocket change

sofa : booster keeps telling him not to but he keeps doing it

shibe : booster behind the counter of a soda-jerk place

shibe : and ted's like, yes, i would like to make a special order

shibe : "we don't do substitutions ted. i've told you this. repeatedly"

shibe : not even forrrrrrr twenty bucks??????

shibe : *sides bill over

shibe : ..... i'll go crush up some candy bars and put them in your milkshake. you're the worst

sofa : TED OMG

sofa : hes just there eating it

sofa : completely satisfied with himself

shibe : GOING TO THE DRIVE IN THEATER

sofa : OOHHH BOY

sofa : almost getting kicked out of the drive in theater

sofa : because theyre actually super obnoxious

shibe : tora working as a waitress at a drive in burger place with rollar skates

sofa : yesss yess omg

sofa : i bet tora like

sofa : puts special patches or something on everyones jacket

sofa : just so everyone knows theyre all apart of the gang, together

shibe : oh man of course

shibe : MAYBE TORA

shibe : embroidered the poodle for booster's jacket

shibe : at ted's request

sofa : OHHH YESSSSSSSSS

sofa : the exact moment tora figured out ted was sweet on booster

sofa : one step ahead of the game

shibe : when she gave it to ted, she was like "good luck ted"

shibe : he was like ????? thanks?

sofa : totally went off to gossip abt it with bea and beas just like yessss

sofa : i knew it

shibe : WELL THEY KEEP EXPERIMENTING IN THE BATHROOMS

shibe : it seems obvious in retrospect

-------------------------------------

shibe: do u wanna talk about 50's au

shibe: b/c

shibe: i had a heartbreaking idea

[8/24/2015 9:26:22 PM] couch seat hands: oh my god absolutely yes

shibe: OK SO

shibe: i was thinking about ted going to the dance with michelle

shibe: and i'm like first of all how did she say yes, and was it even his idea

shibe: and i realized like....

shibe: booster got a date with bea first. and then ted was like "well have fun buddy"

shibe: and booster was like NO ur coming too, and ted is like i don't have a date???? and tora's going with guy

shibe:  so BOOSTER was like u need to ask michelle

shibe:  and ted was like hahahha yeah, she'll never say yes in a million years

shibe: and booster's like no, dude trust me

shibe: she'll say yes

shibe: so the next day, he asks michelle and she does say yes??????

shibe: which is awesome but confusing, but really cool

shibe: but then all of the next few weeks leading up to the dance, booster is working tons of extra hours

shibe: and he tells ted it's cool and whatever, but he's looking really really tired and he keeps falling asleep in class b/c he's working late night shifts at the general store

shibe: and long story short, booster's working extra hours so he can pay for michelle to buy a really nice dress and get her hair/makeup done at a salon, which is how he got her to say yes to ted

shibe: and now ted's guilty cuz he's there with michelle and it's not like he imagined it would be at all, but booster worked so hard just so he could go with a girl

sofa: AAAAHHH OH MY GOD

sofa: this KILLS THE MAN

shibe: i'm awful

sofa: u gotta tell me they save a dance for each other

sofa: like 1 at least

shibe: this is the one where they dance back behind the gym so yeah, totally

sofa: OoHHh right

sofa: yesss

shibe: but michelle looks so gorgeous, she is the most beautiful girl there

shibe: and ted still wants booster instead

sofa: aaGGHH

sofa: to be fair the carter twins are probably the most beautiful sibs in school

sofa: but gOD TED

shibe: booster and michelle do a dance together, as siblings, obvs

sofa: yesss

shibe: and then ted's like "can i cut in" and booster's like "oh, sure, ted" and ted's like "... n o can we go talk... outside"

sofa: OHHH

sofa: i am lovin this as a good opportunity to be like so u know how we kissed each other for practice? Well,

sofa: Bc those are the type of scenarios that keep me young

shibe: and michelle followed them and booster's like "NO SHHHhhhhhhhhhhh" and michelle is like

shibe: plz

shibe: we're trwins

shibe: no secrets

shibe: i know all

shibe: just like u know that i'm not a virgin

sofa: DANG MICHELLE

sofa: Michelle and booster are probably like.... the two kids u would least expect to be messing around and generally being delinquents, Bc they look like fuckin hallmark kids and also one of them is a cheerleader and a football star

sofa: but here they are

shibe: they fight tooth and nail for that popularity, hahahha

shibe: michelle with grooming and social ladders, booster with sports and working five different odd jobs

sofa: i imagine any time booster like... fucks up or breaks something at work teds always like I'll cover it don't worry

sofa: cuz obviously he's got the rich kid perks, and spending his money that way pisses off his folks

sofa: booster keeps telling him to cut it out b4 he gets cut off or something

shibe: honestly, i wonder how they started smooching in the first place

shibe: like, given the setting and all

shibe: for the 50's au, i mean

sofa: well i mean i figure it was probably like a "have you ever kissed a girl" "not really.. you?" and they agreed that if they did it strictly for practicing only, at first, it wouldn't be gay

sofa: and then it was

shibe: something like, if it doesn't kiss when you kiss a family member, it doesn't kiss when you kiss a bro

shibe: and also all the anti-homosexual propaganda usually had to do with pedophiles so

shibe: maybe they were just like "well it's nothign like that so"

sofa: ahhh truuu

shibe: oh nooooo

shibe: ted being like "holy shit i'm the worst pervert, NO ONE IS SAFE"

sofa: NOO OMG

sofa: how would booster even sort himself thru it omg

sofa: OR TORA AND BEA FOR THAT MATTER TOO

shibe: i feel like tora and bea get a pass b/c there were totally like

shibe: dime novels about lesbians and shit

shibe: i bet booster would like

shibe: go digging through his history books

shibe: and come back to ted with a long list of non-straight people

shibe: and be like "look, this is so normal, you can still be an awesome inventor when you grow up"

sofa: boOSTER

sofa: GOOOOSH

shibe: but at the same time, being like "if you want to keep this totally under wraps, we can do it. i'm so willing to do that for you"

sofa: i m gonna die holy shit

sofa: ted probably agrees with it because obviously its safer to lie low but hes also totally lousy with guilt

shibe: which is funny, b/c booster doesn't feel bad about it at all?

shibe: he spends tons of time pretending he's not poor as shit

shibe: what's one more charade on the pile

sofa: covers face

sofa: booster gold has fucking. ruined my life

shibe: he's such a sweet kind, innocent, vain asshole

shibe: protect him, universe, just as he protects u

sofa: HONESTLY

sofa: HES FULL OF HIMSELF BUT LIKE.. WHAT ELSE CAN HE DO AT THAT POINT

sofa: pls. what else Does He Have

shibe: ted must have an awful family

shibe: like, a gross dad that wants him to go into business and a sad drugged out housewife ma

sofa: ur probably right

shibe: ted probably lives in a big house

shibe: and booster throws rocks at his window and ted is like I'M ON THE FIRST FLOOR PLZ STOP

sofa: OMG YES

sofa: consistently tries to get ted to sneak out with him in the middle of the night

shibe: he's always getting off work at night and dying to go out for a shake or something

shibe: he's one of those people that gets wired and giddy when they're tired

sofa: absolutely omfg

sofa: those are probably his moments of pranking ingenious

shibe: they put green dye in bea's shampoo

shibe: but then she likes it so much she keeps doing it

shibe: prank failed

sofa: they still try to take credit for it tho later on

sofa: like

sofa: yeah ur welcome

shibe: people giving bea shit for being a "spic" and everyone like JUMPING IN TO FIGHT LIKE HEY

shibe: even tora

shibe: tora straight up pulls a girl's hair out

sofa: OOOHH YES

sofa: tora is very nice, and sweet and polite, but she can be fuckin brutal if need be

sofa: that's why the gang loves her

shibe: they all have polaroids of each other with black eyes and huge grins

sofa: ahhh yes yes yesss omfg