#but for real i would love if all missing planets got fully resolved

[thefirstknife]

What are the Tones?

Whomst've asked me this. You're fuelling my unending obsession, thank you.

I posted about the tones before! Most of it is listed in this post! But I'd like to add some stuff now that it's been some time since then.

The tones are noises made by the spires on Mercury (Lighthouses). Whenever someone dies, the spires emit a tone. They basically react to death in various ways, depending on how the death happens; there's different tones to dying to Light as well as different tones to a perma-death. This is peculiar because nobody could hear them except Brother Vance.

He made Trials of Osiris to study them (because it's an endless source of Guardians dying over and over). Mara knew about his research (Trials was accessed in the Reef in D1) and warned him to stop because it's dangerous. It's unclear why. Osiris did the same years later. As a matter of fact, Osiris was super dramatic about it:

"What I have discovered…" "…is dangerous enough to destroy every man, woman, and child in existence. You're meddling with forces outside your grasp," Osiris reprimanded.

The tones are interesting because they're still largely unexplained. Mara implied that they symbolise Guardians being attuned to Darkness and being able to wield it, which is true, but Osiris' reaction implies something more. And it has to be more, because Osiris detected the same tones as coming from the anomalies of the missing planets and from the Pyramids. Long post under:

In my previous post I also connected that to the fact that egregore seems to be emitting some sort of sound/frequency attuned to the same thing: anomalies, Pyramids and, obviously, to the source of it all (the Witness). So there's some sort of frequency in Darkness that is audible and comes from all places connected to the Darkness network (and that network manifests physically as egregore). And in this case, anomalies and Pyramids (and ships infested with egregore like Glykon and Leviathan) are fine; it makes sense that they link to the Witness!

But spires on Mercury? Why them? My bestie made a post recently after we went unhinged (again) because the same lore book that deals with the tones also makes a really strong implication that the Vex were deliberately led to Mercury by the Pyramid Fleet in the Collapse. There, the Vex drained Mercury of Light, hollowed out the planet and used its materials to make the spires (and the Infinite Forest, a simulation engine) and then they waited for the Pyramids to return. Which they did, in Arrivals.

To make things more complex, after Titan came back, it was confirmed that the Witness did not take the planets randomly. There was a purpose to each one being stolen. Mars was taken to search through our Golden Age and Collapse database in order to find where the Veil may have been hidden. This could've been just a random coincidence, but then Titan came back and we learned that the Witness wanted Ahsa dead because Ahsa not only knows the origins of the Witness, but also how to get through the portal (and who knows if she has any other potential powers to helps us get in there or help us otherwise).

Io is unclear, but there are many options; it may have been taken for the Pyramidion and Vex stuff which Asher got ahead of. It may have been taken to study the Tree of Silver Wings (the Witness had another seed it gave Calus in Lightfall), or it may have been taken to study the Traveler's past or the Light in general or maybe something else. The point is, there are options that we can understand.

But Mercury? Zero clue. The only thing that may have been of interest is the Infinite Forest, but Vance sealed it so if the Witness took Mercury for that and couldn't get into the Forest, then Mercury would've been useless and probably released sooner unless the Witness is just keeping it out of spite or thought that maybe it would be able to find a way inside. And of course... there's the spires and the tones. Mercury is somehow linked to Darkness and the Witness, it has to be, and we have no clue what the Witness wants with it.

Not only that, but there's another curious thing about Mercury, or rather, the anomaly of it. It was mentioned in Duality dungeon, by Calus. When Calus tried talking to the Witness on the Glykon, the Witness eventually responded and it told Calus to come to the anomaly of Mercury:

Through the Crown of Sorrow, the Voice in the Darkness called out to me, beckoning me to the absence of Mercury. At first, I feared the Leviathan would not survive the journey, as the Glykon had been rent asunder by a similar journey. By my Leviathan, it is strong. Its heart beats anew, and as it pierced the veil of creation... the Voice greeted me. There were such sights to behold.

So when Calus disappeared off the Glykon, he went back to the Leviathan and bolted straight for the Mercury anomaly in which he was able to communicate with the Witness. Why Mercury? Glykon went into the Mars anomaly. Why couldn't the Witness speak to Calus in there? Or in any of the other anomalies? Why specifically Mercury? This is driving me insane.

But if Mercury is somehow connected to the Darkness network through the spires, is it possible that it serves as some sort of a communications hub? Maybe that's why the Witness is still keeping it? And it still is! We can see it in Root of Nightmares, in the Witness' room. Titan is still obviously there as well because it came out before Titan returned, but Mercury and Io are still trapped. This is also confirmed by the tiny excerpt we can see from the TFS Collector's Edition which I talked about in here.

Or the reason for Mercury is something completely different. We have no clue why Mercury was taken and what's going on there and why the Witness called Calus there and why the tones happened and why are they the same tones that can also be heard from anomalies and Pyramids.

To fuel me even more, they decided to drop two lore pieces in Season of the Deep that relate to Mercury and the tones tangentially. I know literally everyone and their grandma thinks that Targeted Redaction is just there to be funny (and so did I at first), but I genuinely can't accept that as being just a joke. The gist of it is that Osiris has no clue who Vance is and that is, to put it simply, impossible.

Obviously Osiris did not like the Cult and they were annoying to him, but he knew Vance. He spoke to him only once, but Vance is the one who told him to "plant the seed," a message that Mara gave him years before. This literally sets up the entire Season of Arrivals. Not only that, but Vance told Osiris about the tones and Osiris was deeply troubled about them. He's the one who continued the research and went around the solar system after planets disappeared, investigating anomalies and discovering that they emit the same tones. He mentions Vance, by name, twice in Immolant:

"Do you hear that?" Osiris asks, turning to Sagira. He turns the ship's scanning array toward the anomaly. "Like the tones Vance described. From the spires, and then the Pyramids. It was coming from the anomaly that replaced Io as well."

"We could use the Crucible right now. Your trials. This will be very helpful. You mean to stay, yes?" "I will. Long enough to show you how to implement the simulation; but tonight, I must disembark," Osiris says. "So soon?" Osiris tenses his jaw in forced silence. He twiddles with code. "I'm worried about what Vance found."

At the same time, Osiris also sends us the seasonal artifact from Hunt, Fang of Xivu Arath. In it, he mentions:

The zealots that followed me to Mercury have proved themselves useful… twice now, actually. They possessed an artifact in their stores: a Hive fang.

The zealots being useful "twice" refers to Vance telling him about the seed and having this artifact kept safely in the Lighthouse (technically, it's three times: in Curse of Osiris, Vance told us where to find the machine to bring Sagira back and it was being kept by the Cult, but it's unclear if we told Osiris the details). Osiris, again, specifically mentions Vance when he recounts where he got it from, in Immolant:

Sagira had chided him for storming the Lighthouse and ransacking Vance's possessions. "They're my relics," he said to silence her protests.

I know Osiris has been through a lot, but his memories are completely and perfectly intact... Except for Vance. That's bizarre to me, given that there's several important points that tie them together, like planting the seed on Io (something he wouldn't have known to do without Vance relaying Mara's message) and research of the tones, something that Osiris spent a lot of time doing and was explicitly worried about; so worried, in fact, that he was willing to part ways with Saint just to continue that research.

In my old post I also mentioned how Osiris even went to Ana to tell her to ask Rasputin if he heard any tones in the Collapse, but Rasputin wasn't up yet. And when Rasputin was finally up, we had much bigger problems to deal with so I assumed that Osiris never asked because the priority was to find what's on Neptune. But now I think that Osiris didn't ask because he doesn't remember. Because the memory of Vance and tones and whatever they mean was deliberately removed from him while Savathun had him imprisoned. Or, perhaps, the Nezarec tea messed with it. After all, Darkness is memory.

This would obviously imply that the tones are something so important and dangerous that Savathun (or someone else) wanted Osiris' knowledge of it removed so that maybe she could have leverage or to know something we don't or perhaps for some other purpose by some other actor. This was such a big point that the entirety of Immolant part 1 is almost exclusively dedicated to Osiris inquiring into the tones.

Another possibility is also that Osiris' memory of Vance was messed with because of Io and the seed and Tree (and then as a consequence, obviously, he would also forget about the tones).

There's also a possibility that Savathun is literally right now messing with me and she did it for no reason at all just to generate imbaru or mess with Osiris or maybe she even wanted to do one nice thing for him and remove the memory of the weird Cult and the tones aren't important at all.

But I don't know. The fact that they're the same thing that the whole Darkness network uses and that ultimately leads to the Witness seems like something that should be important. However, I don't think Mercury will return before TFS, especially since TFS CE has Eido writing about how Mercury is still in the Witness' grasp. But, consider also that we don't know the timeline of when Eido's writing is set. It has to be set after Ahsa's reveal about the Witness' origins, but before TFS. We don't have enough information to tell more. There's also Vex shenanigans to consider, something that will certainly be a plot point post-TFS and Mercury is a prime location for that.

Either way, there's something going on here, added also with the second lore tab release in Season of the Deep that tangentially ties to Mercury, which is Unexpected Resurgence. In it, Shayura is approached by Sister Faora, an incredibly niche character who was leading the Cult of Osiris before Vance. She's shown still wearing the insignia of the Cult. We never learned why she stopped leading them and why Vance took over; she just kinda disappears from the lore book (Trials and Tribulations, the one about the tones). But apparently she's in the City and she's still wearing the Cult robes and she's back in the story... for some reason??

It honestly feels like some sort of a setup for something in the future, something that might deal with Mercury's return. I need to stress just how small she is as a character: she only actually appears in three lore tabs before Unexpected Resurgence, all in the same lore book. The rest of her stuff is just flavour text on the Kairos Function armour pieces from Curse of Osiris. That's it. Why return her in Season of the Deep? Mind boggling.

This whole thing about the tones and Mercury consumes me every day and night. The fact that Deep mentioned Vance in a way easily dismissed as a joke (but also, note the name of the weapon: targeted redaction) as well as Faora coming back is just too wild to me to be a random throwback or a just a joke. Not when it's beyond clear that Osiris should remember Vance, the Cult, the tones and the rest of it. It's even unclear at this point if he remembers that he planted the seed on Io.

So what are the tones? What are they indeed. They're music from the spires of Mercury that reacts to death and uses the same frequency as the entire Darkness network with the Witness at the top. What is their purpose and what is the purpose of Mercury and why did the Witness take it and what is this plotline and when will it be resolved? Summary:

[schrijverr]

The Great Whale Fight of 326,501

Some of the crew doesn’t believe that whales exists, when this comes to light a fight starts between the two sides, ending in flat-planeters and fun Tshirts.

On AO3.

Ships: none

warnings: none, but tell me if I missed anything or if you want me to tag something!!

I blame @assyer for this whole fic and will deny any responsibility in the creation or origin of this fic.

~~~~~~~~~~~

A whale.

It is a normal animal that most on this earth are familiar with. Hardly anyone has seen one in real life, but almost no one has never heard the word.

But the mechanisms are not from this world, except for Tim, who will tear his own hair out if you mention a whale in his presence.

Tim does not hate whales, of course he doesn’t. Whales are great, sweet animals that he cannot picture in his mind because they’re so big. Tim used to love whales. Used to until the Great Whale Fight of 326,501.

It had all started with Brian getting fished out of the sun. He had been there for a few centuries while the other were exploring the rest of space until the narrative would let them near Camelot again.

When Brain was out of the sun The Toy Soldier asked concerned: “Are You Alright, Old Chap? Not Too Lonely In The Sun?”

“No, no, I had the whales to keep me company.” Brian answered.

“Brian, are you delirious? Is your mechanism failing?” Jonny slapped his face, trying to snap him out of whatever daze he was in, “We both know whales aren’t real.”

“According to my books whales are gigantic seas creatures native to the planet earth documented during the human era.” Ivy told Jonny.

“Of course there are whales, they were in the books.” Tim backed Ivy up.

“Books are rubbish and full of myths, you can’t trust them. Whales aren’t real and even if they were they’re apparently sea creatures, not sun creatures.” Jonny said.

“No, they were there, in the sun. They had puppy eyes, very sweet.” Brian insisted.

“Yeah, okay, Brian is broken. Where is Nastya?” Jonny let go of the lapels of Brians coat, how it had survived he did not know, as the drumbot fell back to the floor.

“I’m here.” Nastya replied distantly from where she was standing at the observation deck, desperately looking to the sun.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Jonny asked.

“Trying to see one of the whales. I miss whales.” Nastya replied.

“I just said they aren’t real.” Jonny threw his hands up.

“And since when do you get to decide that?” Tim asked, “You are not really the one I would go to for facts. Whales are real.”

“I’m with Tim here.” Ivy said.

“Hey! When I showed up and said whales were my favourite animals you all didn’t want to believe me, but now we’re defending them?” Marius exclaimed.

“Because it was funny, Marius.” Tim replied, “Besides, whales don’t prove you’re a doctor.”

“I didn’t even say that!” Marius’ yell was ignored.

“I don’t think whales are real.” Ashes said, picking a side despite not having an opinion just for the chaos of it.

“Yeah there are.” Nastya frowned, “There are space whales and water whales. I saw them when you left me after I sunk on that one planet.”

“You mean that time on earth, before any interesting evolution had happened?” Jonny asked, “That was ages ago, you probably don’t remember it right.”

“Exactly, whales aren’t real. They’re made up by not real scientists.” Raphaella mixed herself into the conversation as well.

“See, the scientist agrees. I’m right.” Jonny said smugly.

“You never believe Raphaella, why are you starting now?” Marius protested.

“Because you believe her, so why not now, von Raum? Wanna explain that?” and Marius wanted nothing more than to punch Jonny in the face, especially when Raph send him an inquisitive look and Ashes grinned: “Yeah, Marius, why won’t you explain that one?”

He clenched his fist and then just went for it, sucker punching Jonny right in the face with his metal hand, enjoying the crunching noise his jaw made.

“Whale side started!” Ashes yelled, before charging at Marius.

After that it was every man for himself. Ashes was chocking Marius while Tim was trying to fend off Raphaellas wings, while Ivy was trying to save herself from Jonnys attacks, who was getting help from TS after a quick order. Brian laid forgotten on the floor, still trying to heal, and Nastya smartly heaved herself up into a vent before anyone could drag her into it.

There was no clear winner, even after the whole thing had dragged on for three full days, so each side declared themselves the winners.

In the following days there was no fraternization between them. If before you were friends with someone who did or did not believe in whales, depending on which side you were on, now you weren’t.

Raphaella and Marius no longer did science together, Brian and Ivy were no longer invited to The Toy Soldiers tea party and Jonny was giving Nastya the cold shoulder, while Ashes refused to play cards with Tim.

This went on for a long while, about four months, but it was getting annoying, so Jonny knew that he would have to stoke the fire before it ended.

Taking inspiration from Ulysses he proposed a truce by giving Nastya and Brian both the same shirt that read: ‘I was lefd on a plannet end al I saw was a wale’

The two in question were ecstatic, both with the shirt and a reason to leave the fight that had broken out. Brian didn’t like fighting and Nastya just didn’t care enough, she only wanted to see some more whales. Brian was easily convinced to fly closely past a sun in an attempt to spot them.

Ivy, however, was not at all amused at the shirts. When she saw the two wearing them, she immediately found Jonny and yelled: “A sun is not a planet and there are no whales in the sun!”

“Why not, it’s also flat and in space?” Jonny shrugged, “Besides, Brian and Nastya seem to think otherwise. Thought they were on your side?”

“They were, uh, they are!” Ivy said defensively, “You’re just trying to win them over.”

“And I feel that is going pretty well.�� Jonny stuck out his tongue.

“Wait, Jonny, did you just say that suns are flat like planets?” Marius asked, from where he was sitting on the couch. Beside him Ashes smelled Jonnys bullshit they and innocently said: “Yeah, duh, who doesn’t know that?”

Marius gaped like a fish and looked like he was about to explode as Ivy screamed: “We literally fly past planets every fucking day! How the fuck do you not know they are round not fucking flat!”

“Because I have common sense, Ivy.” Jonny told her, basking in the chaos he was creating, “If I stand then the ground around me is flat. There is such a thing called being level that can’t happen if a planet is round, it has to be flat.”

“Yeah, how can you debunk that, eh, Ivy.” Ashes grinned.

“Planets are big, okay? They can be round with a slight slope that you don’t notice and therefore feel flat, but they are not flat, just look outside, just look through any of the windows on Aurora and look at any planet ever.” Ivys cheeks were beginning to match the color of her hair as she got angrier.

“And how do we not fall off then, someone has to be on the underside.” Ashes asked, phrasing it like they were telling her something and she was dumb.

“Because gravity!” Marius exploded, “Tell me you know fucking gravity!”

“No, I don’t believe in that.” Jonny said calmly, backing Ashes up without a blink.

“First whales, now this, what are you going to say next.” Ivy screamed frustrated.

“Fucking nothing if I have anything to say about it.” Marius said, jumping Jonny to kill him so often it would take a month to reform.

And with a cackle from Jonny a new fight broke out again. The animosity from this fight lasted about a year, but was never fully resolved.

The terms whale and flat in combination with planet were banned, with Aurora shooting anyone who brought it up again.

So yeah, Tim used to love whales, Marius too, but the Great Whale Fight of 326,501 kind of ruined it for everyone that wasn’t Ashes or Jonny as well as Brian and Nastya, who now spend about an hour every week together trying to spot some whales out there in the vastness of space.

[milagrosen]

How do you feel about the series finale of Transformers Prime vs. RiD15 series finale? Would you be interested in seeing season 4 of Prime or not?

I liked a lot how TFP ended i think they did a good job at it. I think everyone was where they deserved to be at the end and i personally like a good ol' happy ending. Even though Optimus, you know, i still think it was a pretty end. I did not however like the RiD15 ending. I mean i liked that Bee and the gang was able to throw down the corrupted and they got all that sorted. That the bots trying to help and do their best weren’t framed to be the bad guys. I love it as a plot point/ arch but if you don’t resolve it and show that good people are just good and their good deeds can/will be rewarded, it’d leave a bad taste to my mouth. Not everyone has a bad underlying motive. But i didn’t like how it was implied that Bee & gang just went back to chase down some B-level Decepticons on Earth after it all. I think, especially Bee deserved much better than that. Considering TFP and RiD, Aligned Bee was sometimes kinda set up to become a Prime, at some point at least. I think he gets robbed from a lot just because he is Bee and in my eyes that happened in RiD15 too. At least he should have let have rest of team Prime with him on Earth for some Con hunting. I liked RiD15 because we got to see more of the real Bee, in TFP it felt like he just wasn’t fully himself, for obvious reasons. And i liked the other characters too, there were some interesting ideas and fun moments. But i would have rather had season 4 of Prime than the whole of RiD15. I will say though, idk would season 4 of TFP work as a cartoon. I like to think it’d be but i feel that there’s a lot of to unpack for the characters, more mature & adult type of concepts and talking topics that would probably go over some viewers heads. Not that TFP was shy about that stuff! There was some wild dark deep stuff in it like from the start! But you know, i’m sure the war was a lot and they’re literally living on a desolate planet. Perhaps it’d work as a comic, like a mini series? I’d just love to see the Team Prime, this skeleton crew of Cybertron’s greatest heroes, trying to live on a planet with nothing and starting to build up everything again from ground zero. I miss TFP, idk what it is what they had but something about that show just was it and i’d like to see it once more

[rueitae]

Roommates in Disguise - Chapter 5

Read on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19901668/chapters/47292058

Next time, @fallen-angel-nightshade gets deep into the plot.

Beta by the wonderful @whyamistillhungry

Art by the phenomenal @mybluelionlancylance

Look at it! https://mybluelionlancylance.tumblr.com/post/186452499757/this-is-art-for-the-plance-mini-bang

~~~~~

Lance had every intention of waking up early - but he was so comfortable. His stomach growled in delight as the scent of maple hit his nostrils. The sound of sizzling bacon and the humming of the kitchen fan reached his ears, completing the perfect background noise to doze in bed... Wait. His kitchen fan was broken. 

Lance jumped up with alarm and yelled in surprise as his back hit the floor. The sleeping bag he’d slept in hung mockingly from his legs. “Are you okay?” Katie asked, peeking out from behind the partition between the kitchen and living room. It all came back to him. “Yeah, s-sorry,” he said, more embarrassed than anything. “Only thing hurt is my pride.” Katie nodded. “Good. Then you’ll be able to enjoy breakfast.” She popped back into the kitchen. “I’m almost done with the bacon, but help yourself to the eggs and toast.” Lance slowly made his way to the tiny table and gazed upon the feast. Saliva pooled up in his mouth at the sights and smells. Two plates with forks and glasses of orange juice were already arranged, filled with buttered toast, scrambled eggs, and hashbrowns. Wait, when had he gone grocery shopping? “Where did you get all this? I know I didn’t have it in my fridge.” “Good news,” Katie responded, stirring into his only frying pan. “The police contacted me early this morning. I got to go back to the house and grab a few things. Breakfast is on me, it's the least I can do.” Lance smiled back, sitting down and shoveling some eggs into his mouth. His taste buds exploded and he moaned in delirium. “This is delicious.” When was the last time he’d been able to make eggs? Tears welled up in his eyes. “Thank you.” Katie finished her cooking and brought the pan over to serve them both. “I had to fix your kitchen fan, too, but honestly you’re doing me a favor. I’d fix your whole apartment if you let me.” “Really?” Lance said, hopeful. Katie had said she was majoring in robotics, but the fact that she would improve his quality of life was a gift. Between school and hero work, he didn’t have the money or the time to do it himself. He might be in love. He sat back and listed off the problems with the apartment, using his fingers as visual aides. “Because the faucet in the bathroom is leaky. And the bathtub doesn’t drain well, and the water pressure has been weird since I moved in. Most of the light bulbs don’t work even though I bought brand new ones last month,” he continued, finding himself getting more annoyed as he went on. “The disposal doesn’t work — “ “It does now,” Katie interrupted. “ — the freezer spits out ice rando — wait you fixed that already too?” Katie nodded, her face amused but not right out laughing. It was far more sympathetic. “I’m surprised Icebound hasn’t offered to help. He seems like the kind of guy who would want the best for his best friend. Lance slowed down chewing his latest bite of toast. His heart beat rapidly. He hadn’t foreseen this. He swallowed hard. “I asked him not to,” Lance finally settled on. He shoved some egg into his mouth, hoping she would take the hint of being done with that part of the conversation. “I see...” Katie said. She took a sip of orange juice. “Look, Lance, I could fix everything here for you, but it’s a bit ridiculous. It’s all broken, and you’re still in a terrible part of town. That can’t be worth it even this close to the university.” “I don’t mind it,” Lance retorted. Being in a crime-ridden area allowed him to use his powers for the most good. Katie looked him dead in the eye, and Lance found himself captivated. There was something eerily familiar with her determined gaze that gave him pause. “Move in with me,” she said bluntly. Lance spit out his eggs. “What?!” “I’m serious,” she continued as he wiped his egg-spattered face with a paper towel. “I have a whole house to myself. Plenty of bedrooms and it’s close to public transit.” Her eyes softened. “You saved my life, Lance. I can get back to searching for my family again.” An uneasy feeling swirled in his gut. The bus, the nicer place, rent-free… it sounded way too good to be true. Cute girls didn’t just ask him to move i-- 

Cute was the word now??? 

“Look, that’s really nice of you, Katie, but don’t you think it would be a little... weird?” he managed. “Any weirder than our city having actual superheroes?” Katie sighed, possibly a bit more dramatic than necessary. “Lance, after Pidge I would honestly feel safer if there was someone else in the house. You know my circumstances, you’re a nice guy,” she smirks, “even kind of cute.” Heat rose to Lance’s cheeks. Why would she use that word? “And you helped me this far. Please?” Well, Lance hadn’t considered Pidge coming back. The more he thought about it, the more likely he realized it was. Katie probably knew too much, and Pidge would be after Lance either way. This arrangement would protect both of them, or at least keep the safety in numbers. But... he wasn’t sure if he could keep Icebound a secret from Katie. In time, he’d have to trust her with his secret. The thought of that thrilled him; to have someone to confide his real life with. Katie fidgeted when he didn’t respond. “I accidentally saw the newspaper clipping in your room. And what happened to your family,” she confessed. “I can’t help but think they’d just want you as safe as possible.” Lance’s heart broke and he set his fork on the table, eyes downcast. Even after two years, the pain - the guilt - was still felt just as fresh. Sometimes he wondered if they were looking out for him, or if they blamed him for not being able to control his powers. 

“It’s fine. I forgot I had it out,” he said evenly. 

Katie’s fingers drummed next to her plate, teeth biting at her bottom lip in thought. “It’s… okay to miss them,” she encouraged. “I know what it’s like.” “I do miss them. A lot,” he stressed. His mom’s hugs, his dad’s laughter, his sibling’s harmless teasing all ran through his mind like a slideshow. “I know they wouldn’t want me to sulk, but at the same time...” He locked eyes with Katie with renewed resolve. “Let me help you find your family. If I’m moving in with you, I want to help out however I can.”

If there was a chance he could reunite Katie with her family, he would take it. There was no need for both of them to suffer forever. Katie’s eyes twinkled and her smile grew wider. Lance’s heart fluttered. This girl might be the doom of him. “I was hoping you’d say that,” she said. “You like video games?”

Lance smirked, “I know a great arcade right around the corner.”

~~~~~

Lance felt confident as he moved his character over the last hurdle in the video game. He kept his thumb pressed over the Power Save feature on the controller, making sure Loose Lips Lucy’s special attack was fully charged and ready for the moment Katie’s character got too close. Lucy crouched behind several crates, a favorite hiding spot that no first time opponent had ever found. Lance licked his lips in anticipation. It was his preferred strategy and was looking forward to showing off. Lance glanced at the timer. Thirty seconds left in the round, and when Lance would win off points accumulated instead of K.O. Until his controller buzzed, sending him into astonished confusion, and Lucy’s cartoonish blood was splattered across the screen. A giant K.O. Game Over flashed across his screen. “What?!” Lance exclaimed, looking for Katie. “How did you —?” His strategy was perfect, he used it for Icebound’s stakeouts for crying out loud! Katie leaned over from across him, smirking righteously. “Not a very subtle hiding spot.” “There is no way you found me,” Lance pouted. “You cheated.” “The consoles are back to back, there’s no way I could have seen you. Face it, you’ve met your match.” The smug look on her face threatened to melt his icy power core with how mad he was. Saving her from Pidge was one thing, but all bets were off when it came to video games. 

It was on. “You haven’t even seen a fraction of what I can do. Best two out of three. On the ice planet,” he challenged. Katie grinned. “Challenge accepted, Lance. That’s my favorite map.” Lance’s anger proved fleeting. His blood pumped with excitement that he couldn’t remember, for once not fighting for his life or for others, a stupid grin refusing to come off his face. But before either could insert their tokens, a loud thud resounded off the side paneling. Lance looked down and let out a gasp. The owner of the arcade himself was on the ground and moaning in pain. The previously bustling center floor stood still, the crowd parting only for a large Galra Enforcer moving their way. Lance gulped as he recognized Throk of the Specials Division. Lance knelt by the downed man. “Hey, Rolo, dude, you okay?” he said, taking his hand and helping him up. “Don’t get yourself involved in this one, Kid, it isn’t worth it,” Rolo whispered quickly. “I already rang the police.” “Isn’t this pathetic, receiving help from a child,” Throk said condescendingly. The Galra man directed a cruel grin at both Lance and Rolo. Lance kept his gaze on the switchblade that Throk was currently flipping in and out threateningly. This situation would not end well if he couldn’t transform. Lance stepped forward and balled his fists at his sides, offering the most serious stare he had. “I’m not sure why you’re bothering Rolo and Nyma, but it’s not cool. You’ve got at least twenty witnesses. The police are not going to side with you, even if you are Galra.” Galra Corp was able to get away with a lot in the city in terms of politics and industry. Most employees were not like Throk, but those who worked security felt they were entitled to anything they wanted. Lance growled. With Pidge on the loose, dealing with corrupt Galra security - Throk had been on the receiving end of Icebound’s punches before - was the last thing he needed to deal with. “Please, Galra Corp owns the police.” Throk held the switchblade with an outstretched arm, pointed at Lance. “Tell the man to open his cash register, Little Hero,” he sneered. “I would not want anyone to get hurt.” Lance braced himself but did not back down though Throk’s words were soaked in sarcasm. Nerves tightened and his body prepared for the blow. None came. In a flash Throk was down on the ground, writhing in pain. He screamed. “Get them off! Get them off!” “You can stay there until the police get here,” Katie said calmly, as if she were discussing a cloudless day. Lance turned to find her still in front of her game, holding a small open jar. “Maybe you’ll think twice about doing whatever you want.” Lance took a closer look at Throk and he saw them. Tiny robots the size of ladybugs crawling over the aggressor’s skin. He turned to her in awe, grinning now that the threat had passed.”Robotics huh? Pretty cool.” Katie’s eyes grew wide. “Lance, look out!” Lance turned in time to see a frenzied Throk race towards him, bringing the blade back to strike. Dropping to his knees on instinct, he dodged the blow and scurried through Throk’s legs. Now having the advantage of being behind, Lance stood and, putting a bit of his powers into it, delivered a punch to Throk’s face just as the Galra was beginning to turn around.

Throk landed face down in front of Katie. She squatted and clicked the inside of her mouth, calling the microbots back inside the jar. 

Just like Pidge calling in her tiny robots. Lance shivered. He supposed he’d best get used to more similarities; who knew how many inventions Pidge had stolen from Katie.

She whispered into Throk’s ear, but Lance hadn’t the time to ponder over what she might have said to him. He was too busy blushing over a kiss on the cheek from Rolo’s co-owner. 

“You’re sweet, Lance,” Nyma told him, a bemused smile on her face, “but I really prefer you stay alive. You’re one of our frequent customers.”

Nyma didn’t mean anything by the kiss, he knew that, but the churning in his stomach was more from the warmth in his cheeks. 

“I’m trying,” he said sheepishly. Now that the fight was over and adrenaline faded, Lance was more embarrassed than anything. Thankfully the crowds were already shrugging it off and going back to their various games. 

“You pack a pretty good punch,” Katie said as she walked up to him. Her roundabout compliment and guarded smile sent his heart pounding in a way he couldn’t quite explain. 

“Must have gotten lucky,” Lance shrugged as casually as he could manage. Everyone dug the cool guy attitude, surely Katie would too. “Dad always told me I had a good arm for baseball,” he bragged. 

Katie raised an eyebrow, but her smile remained. “Lucky for us then.”

“And you with your robots,” Lance pointed out. “That was amazing.”

Katie grinned smugly, and that familiar feeling of delight washed over Lance again. “Final projects are supposed to be spectacular. It’s no big deal. We make a pretty good team.”

“If you two think that, try Beezer’s challenge on Defenders of the Universe,” Rolo suggested. 

“The first person shooter?” Katie inquired, head tilted slightly to the side.

“Didn’t you get that over a year ago?” Lance asked, raising an eyebrow. “No one’s beat it yet?”

The game was notorious among gaming circles to be extremely challenging, even now after being available to the public for years. It was ideally played with five, and had no solo mode, so two player was the hardest difficulty.

“Not yet,” Nyma said. “Why don’t you two give it a shot while the blood is still pumping. It’ll be on us; a thanks for taking care of that goon.”

Lance looked to Katie and she gazed back. Her amber eyes shone like the sun and Lance couldn’t stop the corners of his mouth curling up in perfect sync with her’s. 

There was no need for words. They were going to beat that game. 

~~~~~

“Did you see that last move?!” Lance rambled, jogging ahead of Katie and turning to face her as they walked - backwards in his case - out of the arcade. “I backflipped into the mob, hit three bulls eyes upside down - then my gun morphed into a sword!!!” He said excitedly. What a rush that had been - unlocking a secret feature, not even professional gamers knew about. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this elated and relaxed, hero problems forgotten for the moment.

“I know!” Katie squealed back, animatedly jumping and bringing her fists to her chest. Her smile matched his own, stretched wide and looked as if it could fall off. “I can’t believe the game let you use it before you could even see what it was! And the finishing blow - I will never get over that mech letting us dual wield those swords. The arms actually responded independently for us! How cool is that?!”

“The absolute coolest!” Lance agreed. He snorted - he was going to use that line for Icebound’s next battle. He stopped at the corner. One way would take him back to his apartment, the other to Katie’s house. “Too bad about the final boss though, we almost had him. I bet next time we wipe the floor.”

The briefest of frowns crossed her face, almost as if the idea hadn’t sunk in. “Next time?” Katie inquired. 

“Well sure. I mean, if you want to.” Suddenly the hot cheeks were back and he avoided her face. “We do make a pretty good team and… I had a lot of fun today. Best in a long time,” he said honestly. 

“I had a lot of fun, too,” she said, taking his hand, a warm smile back on her face. “Thank you, Lance.” Without warning, she leaned up on her toes and brushed his cheek with her lips. “Seriously. No matter what happens, I want you to know that.”

Despite the ominous tone to her statement, Lance hung on the kiss. Although friendly, after their chemistry at the arcade and willingness to help each other - and especially moving in together - he seriously doubted they could just stay as friends. He’d only just met Katie, but he felt like he’d known her for years. 

Lance took a deep breath. He could afford to have fun, but first and foremost he needed to remind himself that he did this for their mutual protection from Pidge. 

He forced his smile back at her. “Noted.” He looked around the corner. “Your place is this way right?”

Katie nodded. “I need to prepare for you moving in, and you need to pack. I think we’ll be fine separately for one night.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small wad of green. “Here,” she said, placing it in his hands. “A thank you for now.”

Lance opened his hands and let out a slight gasp at the amount of money he held. “I can’t take this,” he said and reached out to give it back to her. 

“No, keep it,” Katie insisted, pushing his hands away. “We’ll be living together, so you can use it to buy groceries or something.”

Only at her additional prompting did he place it in his own pocket. She was placing a lot of trust in him, the least he could do was return it and take it with grace. If he could find it within himself to do that, it would make his duty as a hero less unbearable. 

“Okay,” he finally said. 

Katie’s lip wobbled. “Thanks again for today. I’m looking forward to hanging out with you a lot more. It reminded me of better days with my brother.”

Lance knew that feeling. So he offered what always helped him, a hug. It began with wrapping an arm around her shoulder. When she wrapped her arms around his waist, he held his tightly around her shoulders. “We both miss our families. I promised I’d help. You don’t have to do it alone anymore.”

“Why are you so concerned about helping me? I’m practically a stranger. It’s not your problem,” she sniffled. 

Because it was a hero’s duty. Because he sympathized. Because he was in the right place at the right time.

“Because it's the right thing to do. Fate must have brought us together for a reason.”

Katie was silent for a long moment, then took a deep breath, voice no longer cracking. “You’re a good person, Lance. I can see why your best friend is a hero.”

Lance scoffed. “My best friend is an engineer who lives across the country.”

Katie blinked, crying suddenly stopped but eyes filled with tears and confusion. “Icebound is an engineer?”

Quiznak. 

“Oh! No! My other best friend!” Lance said, backpedaling. He needed to get out of here before he incriminated himself further. He couldn’t tell Katie now and put her in even more danger. “Since Hunk is so far away, I can’t hang out with him much. Heh, I guess it's not too different from hanging out with a superhero. I don’t see him as much as I’d like either.” 

The lie came off a little more easily than Lance would have liked, and it had the desired effect. Katie seemed to buy it. 

“Well, you’ve got me to hang out with now. I’m looking forward to playing video games and showing you all my robots.”

“Perfect!” Lance said spritely. “Well, I’d better get packing. You good to walk home?” He bit his lip - he really should walk her home at the very least. His father would have scolded him. 

“I’ll be fine, I’d rather you get packing. I’ll feel a lot safer once you’re all moved in.”

They exchanged a wave and Lance turned to walk back to his apartment. Guilt churned in his stomach. Would Pidge use this opportunity to strike? Had she been watching them all day?

Lance turned his walk into a jog.

[velvet-tread]

A theory, or wild speculation, or whatever; anyway there’s some Bellarke

Here follows a collection of thoughts that don’t quite add up to a thesis yet

Season 5 had one of the best runs of episodes I’ve seen on this show ever - strong themes, great setups, impactful character beats. 9 straight episodes of near-perfection.

But imo it fell short in the last couple of episodes. How short depends on your perspective, but my feelings about it range from mildly disappointed to Jane Austen mourning weeds and little weepy handkerchiefs. Either way - the collapse into fudgy incoherence and loose ends actually undid all of the great work the show did in the first 9 episodes.  WHICH IS FUCKING INFURIATING. 

The show painstakingly put together so much excellent character and relationship set ups which either never materialised or didn’t pay off or just fizzled out. And now I’m left wondering what it all meant, which not only frustrates me on a viewer level but also makes me feel like an idiot for wildly overestimating what the show was doing with the material.

*looks at the X Files forever*

Just to pick a few things out at random.

a) Bellarke were put in conflict, but there was no emotional pay-off, the framing was all over the place and the resolution basically a post-script. 

b) We spent the series agonising about the wisdom of going to war on a fragile planet, but the actual harbinger of Apocalypse 3.0 (I can’t believe I have to write that) was someone only tangentially related to that storyline, whom every single named character bar Kabby was trying to stop. So was everyone wrong? Or just ineffectual? The latter is far less interesting and more depressing tbh.

c) The worms

d) Memori

e) I could go on

I repeat, I would not be so pernickety if the run up to the s5 finale hadn’t been so good, and the set up so promising.  The idea of a reboot was genius.  The Bellarke separation was genius.  Blodreina = genius.  Mama Bear Clarke = genius. Eligius = genius. Spacekru = genius. 

But ultimately?  Can ANYONE tell me what s5 meant?  What difference did any of those things make in the end?  What conflict was resolved satisfactorily?  I’d argue that the Blodreina/Blake siblings arc worked the best (although *howl* Bellamy was never given any in-universe context for Blodreina) but generally I’m left with the feeling that very few of these stories or conflicts had any meaning whatsoever, and especially not Bellarke.

So I have a theory and I stand to be corrected as ever because I am very much processing.

I think there’s a strong possibility Jason and/or the 100 writers room began rewriting the back end of season 5 as they were filming the early season 5 material.

Given Jason’s comments immediately after the finale, I’m inclined to believe that the rewrites, if I’m right, were mostly around Bellarke and the Flame.  Specifically, I think that at some point when they were filming mid-season, Jason changed his mind about how Bellarke-y he wanted the season to be, if at all.  And on top of that, I think as he was pitching season 6 around that time, he realised that he wanted to go full-hog with the Flame in season 6. 

Those two things might be connected.  Perhaps Jason realised the full extent to which he coud “bring Lexa back” without actually bringing back ADC, around the Flame.  Perhaps he wants to recreate the show’s Clexa glory days.  And perhaps romantic Bellarke isn’t compatible with that vision. Dumb, in my view, but hey.

Perhaps, he just realised that he can’t doesn’t want to write romantic Bellarke.

If that’s the case, then well, *shrugs*.  Less satisfying for me, but I don’t own this shit.  I do, however, own the prerogative to speculate wildly on how and why they squandered all that promise in the last couple of eps.

Certainly, a mid-season back end emergency rewrite would explain a few things:

1.The loose threads and wonky framing

For example, Clarke’s fury at Bellamy for putting the Flame into Madi’s head was just...dropped?  Why? When it was SUCH A BIG DEAL in 509?  What were we supposed to the think about that?  What was she? And Bellamy, who didn’t appear to even remember who Clarke was until he saw her at the ship, being angry at her? Really? Where? Since when? And importantly - why? 

I’m a writer and it’s my experience that the best planning you do for a piece is when you approach it at the start.  You brainstorm.  You get your thoughts together.  You address each problem and question and mould it into a whole so it all makes sense.

But when you finish the thing and you look at it and you think - the thesis is wrong! I need to restructure the entire thing!  That’s when mistakes get made.  Especially if, for example, you’re up against a deadline or in this case a filming schedule, the threads that you would usually pick up at the planning stage or in the editing stage get missed.  And because they are part of the final editing process, there’s nobody around to pick them up and properly address them.

Result?  Fudge.

2. The curious ambivalence about Becho. 

Look I ADORE Becho. They are soft, and loving and real af.  I fully believe that was always intended to be the case. 

I think Becho was set up as a benchmark, for Bellamy in particular, a symbol of his peace and prosperity in space,. And, of course, I think it was also set up as a point of conflict for Octavia and Clarke. In the case of the latter, it was definitely a silent love triangle. How do you explain the love triangle framing on two separate occasions? How else do you explain the two separate interviews Jason gave about love triangles?

But here’s what Becho was not set up as: a relationship that was supposed to develop on-screen and take the audience with it.  Becho had no arc this season. It wasn’t “a story” per se, however much Tasya and Bob’s chemistry electrified me. It was the backbone to *other* stories. 

So, why, then, were Becho given every single Bellarke beat, especially towards the end? A background of forgiveness? Check. A steadying influence on each other. Check. The person they’re fighting for? Check. Plotting together? Check? Battle couple? Check.

Contrast with Bellarke. Forgiveness?  That’s something for Bellamy and Madi to discuss without Clarke!  Battle plans? Clarke will do that with Echo instead (oh my GODDD my ot3 came to life there *clutches hands and wishes upon a star*). A steadying influence on each other? Maybe! Until they forget each other’s names when they’re not in a scene together! People they’re fighting for? Definitely not each other.

Meanwhile bts, the messages were VERY confusing.  So the show was giving us a Becho that, while very real, was not the core of the story. Which was probably why, in early season 5, some deep Becho nods (the extra forehead touch, the “I love her”) found their way on to the editing room floor. All legit. But then, the script-to-screens then BROUGHT THOSE THINGS BACK to the viewer’s attention?  Why? Why give us those things even though they were cut? Was it because maybe, the show had changed direction after the fact?

And don’t get me wrong. I loved every second of the show’s affirmation of Becho. I still adore them.  But how does it fit into the jigsaw of the show as it stands?  It doesn’t really.  In fact, if you just swap Echo for Clarke in Bellamy’s storyline this season, you would have a hard time telling me that this isn’t exactly what romantic Bellarke would look like - the only difference is that in terms of screentime, Becho’s antagonism has had far more time, and Bellarke’s forgiveness/working together has had more time. IN-UNIVERSE, IT’S THE OTHER WAY AROUND.  It’s why shipping Becho comes so easily for me. And if the show wanted to frame that as Clarke’s personal tragedy, I would get it and probably relish it. But the trouble is, I’m having a hard time understanding what the show *is* saying about Becho and Bellarke, because it seems to be constantly changing its mind.

WHICH. BY THE WAY. MADE THAT ENTIRE WAKE-UP MARPER VLOG SEQUENCE A MASSIVE DAMP BELLARKE SQUIB.

SORRY.

3. The Flame suddenly jumping to prominence as a tool rather than as a symbol late in the season.

The show went from framing the Flame as a threat to this kid, who had hidden from it her whole life, for whom it meant literal nightmares of people burning at the stake, something for Clarke to rightly protect her from, to something that turned her into a mouthpiece for Lexa, to Clarke’s hostility to it being framed as “wrong”. There was an abrupt change of tone imo, to Clarke’s fears being justified to Clarke’s fears making her, and I quote Jason from an interview that nearly made me choke on my cereal, a “helicopter” mum.

Excuse me while I punch the nearest object to smithereens.

The Flame “gave” Madi battle ideas (which were different from Octavia’s how, exactly?) by Gaia’s bedside, with just a MANTRA? That whole scene felt cobbled together at the last minute. Like a film student’s badly edited homework.

It’s giving Clarke life lessons, ffs! 

*clenches fist*

The whole thing feels like a season 5 retcon, hastily put together to justify Madi still having the thing in her head for season 6, when it can do it’s victory lap for real.

4. The scenes that were dropped

a) Bob and Eliza both referenced a big Bellarke scene that got cut.  My guess? Not a romantic scene but some kind of Hakeldama that allowed them to hash out their various beefs with each other and probably involved some shit talking about the Flame.

b) And like, if that scene had some tenderness in it? Too Bellarke maybe? No, Bellarke BAD BAD BAD *stern looks*

c) also, wasn’t Echo supposed to have a sad scene of sitting in the snow and remembering Azgeda? That was supposed to be at the snowy back end of the season, but Echo had no sads really.  Only fierce spacekru love and some cuddles and some good sexy time. Was there an Echo sad that got cut? What was it related to?

5. The writers room walkout

Yeah. I don’t know what that means, but it sure means something.

Just fyi...for some context.  I love Becho and they currently own my heart but until recently Bellarke was very much my otp. Probably, deep down, it still is.

But I’m getting tired of running this race. I have no problem with the show doing a slow burn. I have no problem with platonic Bellarke. But I need consistency and, importantly, I need the show to remember that Bellarke are the backbone of this show. Their relationship - however you frame it - is the heart and without it the show is nothing but a collection of Elon Musk conspiracy theories on reddit.

JUST LETTING THEM HAVE A CONVERSATION =/= BELLARKE ROMANCE.

If you want them platonic, fine, you win. But gutting their relationship from the inside out to try to ward off the sniff of shipping is just counterproductive. It’s the lack of real, meaningful connection that really turned me off Bellarke this season, not the lack of kiss or lack of romantic framing. Early in the season? Yes, the set up was all there and it looked GREAT. But their conflict never got off the ground and we never got a cathartic resolution to show us the characters really, truly mean something to each other. 

Ultimately the show forgot that they were friends who love each other, and I just *clenches fist* can’t ship that.  Maybe that’s what the show wanted. But the flipside is that at this point I’m not really invested in their relationship in any context, which is why the end shot left me cold. I hope Bellarke hasn’t died in my heart forever but...idk it doesn’t look good.

[spacejew]

the hot take of this episode is obviously not that automation is bad, but capitalists abusing automation to subjugate what little workers they have is bad, then the workers blaming the automation rather than the people in charge is doing absolutely nothing to resolve the situation, especially at the cost of murdering innocents just to frame the wrong thing. ideally the future is gonna be running on fully automated luxury communism, but unfortunately the future we were shown was one where capitalism valued their profits above human quality of life and let the conditions be so bad that half the galaxy is unemployed and assumed to be dirt poor and the the other half that could scrounge out jobs is grateful for any shit treatment because hey it’s a job we have been blessed by god in this shitty dystopian warehouse. But it’s the robots’ fault still, right?

So yeah I dunno at the end when HR lady goes “I’m gonna try to get more jobs for people, especially now that this warehouse is no longer a deathtrap” that’s objectively an improvement, even if it’s not the perfect revolution and retooling of the entire economic and industrial system for this planet (which would’ve been nice but). It’s a step in the right direction for the livelihood of this population that the biggest retailer in the galaxy is going out of its way to give them jobs and seems to actually care about their lives (survival..?) a teensy bit. It’s optimistic even if its unrealistic to us, cause that’s the kind of sci fi this show tends to try to be. The Doctor literally spells out the moral herself, the system/technology is not the problem but rather how its used/misused. (the robots are straight up called Teammates and turns out they were trying to help all along, it’s not a coincidence)  (Also the HR lady had good intentions but didn’t actively care for “people” beyond what her job required, and that was her problem, and her growth at the end of the episode reflects that lesson.)

my personal hot take here is that “amazon is bad!!” would’ve been a bit of a waste of an episode if that was the one and only message, because of course it’s bad!! it’s so obvious that the episode got away with letting both the audience and the Doctor believe that was the real menace and point of the adventure, and that’s why both the episode and the episode’s villain got away with the misdirection for so long before revealing what the real threat was. The audience and the Doctor were so sure that the managers were the villains or that the robots were the villains, or both. “Amazon is bad” or “automation replacing jobs sure does suck” are super surface level and common sense takes that don’t need a 45 minute episode to explain to anyone, though it was really nice that the episode did take the time to be explicit about it anyways at the beginning, and while it’s nice to watch something we loathe get dragged on a popular tv show I’m glad they decided to do something more unexpected and point out a new idea to a lot of people (that idea being “look a little further for what’s actually the root of the problem, because automation ain’t it”.)

(also “be on the lookout for mopey white boys who have never felt love before because they may infiltrate your organization with their disarming patheticness and then take advantage of your resources to literally terrorize a lot of innocent people in their own misguided crusade”) (also “the villain was onto something with the idea that his plan would work because the surviving consumers will be the ones to affect change on the company after he gets their attention” but tbh that should’ve been pointed out explicitly by the episode as a solution to the problem, missed opportunity)

*** not going off on any particular opinions/interpretations!! just piecing together what I got out of it because it was a lot to take in and sort out

[moistwithgender]

Anime I think I remember watching this year

I need to keep better track of this I guess.

Aggressive Retsuko: Great! Very likable characters (even the bastards), just the right amount of millennial cynicism. 9/10 Aggressive Retsuko Christmas Special: It's not about Christmas, it's about instagram. It's great and extremely real (watch the series first though). Digimon Adventure tri 1 & 2: This is actually very boring so far. I planned to jump back in with the english dub, which is honestly how I should have been watching it from the beginning. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten around to it. Kado The Right Answer: If this show had not been sabotaged from the inside out in the last 2-3 episodes, this would have probably been up there with classics like Bebop. WEST WING: THE ANIME, we would have called it, or something. I haven't watched West Wing, but it's all bureaucracy, right? 8/10 in this universe, 10/10 in the alternate universe where it didn't shit the bed. Angolmois: I got halfway through this before the low budget and my own exhaustion had me drop it. Unfortunate, since anime never adapts the mongol invasion. Planet With: In the running for series of the year, probably. A super robot show where the ultimate moral is that, actually, rehabilitating your enemies is better than killing them. Will rewatch in the future, I'm sure. 10/10. Asobi Asobase: Hina Kino (Hanako)'s is going to go down as a legendary voice actress if I have any say in anything. Which I do, because I'm in charge of the industry now. Which means we're taking out queerphobic jokes, wrap it up people. 8/10, would rank higher without the bad takes. Cells at Work!: Really fun concept, has *implications* of a deeper narrative to be had built into the worldbuilding, but ultimately the whole season is just "oh I bet this irl thing would translate like this in my setting" on repeat. Still, an easy watch. 7/10. Hanebado!: There's a lot that could be good about this. Themes of toxicity in competitive spaces, overwork, abandonment, and trauma. Ending had a lot of people upset because it either miscommunicated how the protagonist moved past her trauma (best case), or just completely dropped the entire arc because...I don't know why. I rated this 9/10 on myanimelist, but it probably deserves lower. I'm still over here wanting to believe I missed something in my interpretation. Hoping for either a second season or a faster manga translation. My Hero Academia S3: This season had some high points but I felt it was considerably less interesting overall than the second season. However, Deku vs Bakugou was genuinely one of the best moments of the series thus far. My Hero Academia The Movie: Pretty standard shonen series movie for the sake of having one. Nothing groundbreaking here. But hey, I got to listen to "You Say Run" in a theater, which was almost worth the price of admission on its own. 6/10. Ushio & Tora: Both seasons, thirty nine episodes. Waste of my time! Maybe this series was just meant to be consumed bit by bit, but I just found it really shallow in the end. 6/10. Chio's School Road: Another *brilliant* comedy that is ultimately brought down by the occasional queerphobic humor. Get it toGETHER, guys! In any case, I care about these stupid children now, and hope for a season two soon. 8/10. Angels of Death: It took about 14 out of the total 16 episodes before I suddenly stopped hate watching it and started laughing at its unwarranted self seriousness and paradoxical writing. Still, kind of frustrated I stuck with it anyway. 4/10. Night is Young, Walk On Girl: Gorgeous movie that has to be seen, but. I wonder if it's Yuasa or the original writer of these books that insists on the resolution to all conflict being "heterosexuality". 9/10. Haibane Renmei: I got four episodes in before the Funi/Crunchy split happened ;__; it's really good tho Dragon Pilot: Definitely gonna rewatch this one one day too. There is a density of theme and execution here that I cannot yet fully unpack and it's just so good. Also the english dub is good, and is how I preferred to watch it. It also has a lesbian and isn't afraid of her, even if her role is very small. It's something. 9/10, maybe 10/10. Mirai: I fucking love Mamoru Hosoda's films. 9/10. Zombieland Saga: I have the sneaking feeling that they wanted a few more HOT PROGRESSIVE TAKES to be fit in before the season ended, but restraints got in the way. We had a sex worker idol who never got her backstory episode, and actually Tae never got hers either. It's still a 9/10 for me, but I'm hoping for at least a followup OVA. And a movie. Granblue Fantasy: I finished the full season, save for the "omake" episode that I assume takes place in the alternate universe where Protagonist Is Girl. This was somewhat throwaway cozy saturday morning nostalgia for the old days of Final Fantasy before that game series became more grounded in contemporary and sci-fi settings. It was also something I watched as a primer for the incoming Platinum and ArcSys games, because I'm not gonna play two gacha games at the same time. Hilariously, the--like--twenty new characters from the gacha that showed up in the last episode were all more interesting than the cast of the full season. 7/10, 10/10 for having a race of hot girls with horns (there are also guys but who cares). Hi Score Girl: This show is a love letter to growing up with arcades in 90s Japan and also struggling with making friends and ohhh my god every time the idiot main boy stops paying attention to important interpersonal plot and just starts infodumping about a game, I tragically see myself. It's very good, the girls are GOOD GIRLS and deserve better and the writing seems fully aware of that.  The series unfortunately ends on a stock romantic plot beat cliffhanger that I have to wait until March to have ultimately resolved in THREE EPISODES. Despite that, it's easily a 9/10. I list a lot of 9/10s but it's been a good couple seasons and there's just...a lot of range there. Number scores are bullshit. Watch anime. Shin Getter Robo: Probably the last show I'll have finished before the year end. It's my second exposure to Getter Robo (my first was reading Getter Robo Go, which actually takes place after this), and it's still good, but oh god. These guys are dumb bastards but there's a note early in that has aged particularly badly in the MeToo era. Not sure if the show got better because I switched audio tracks to English with VAs I have nostalgia for, or because they broke through the bottom of a lake and wound up in alternate history Heian era Japan, stranded for multiple years. With a giant robot. I liked that part. 8/10. Shows I took a break from due to burnout and need to pick back up: Run with the Wind, Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai, Vento Aureo, SSSS.Gridman, Hinomaruzumou, Ms. Vampire who lives in my neighborhood, As Miss Beelzebub Likes It., Devilman Crybaby, That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime, Skull-face Bookseller Honda-san. SO MANY!!

[snickerl]

Blutendes Herz IV

XF fanfiction

Blutendes Herz (Bleeding Heart) is not really a consecutive story but the chapters build upon one another somehow.

Part I can be read here, part II here. Here you will get to part III.

Author's Note: When I was done writing this, I realized that the ending was difficult for shippers to swallow (and I consider myself one) although I tried to give it a positive connotation. So I decided to do with the ending what I did with the opening and I wrote two different possible plots. Therefore, if this closure scenario upsets you, stay tuned for one more installment to come. It will take a different path at the fork our protagonists come across below the cut.

You're sitting on the couch together with your favorite human being. She's pouring you a third cup of tea.

"Thanks for bringing me my favorite tea, Mulder, but you don't have to find excuses every time you come here. Next time, just give me a call when you're in the area and drop by without any of these stupid pretenses."

You scratch the Mexican blanket, the Casablanca DVD, and the funny little porcelain fox she once bought at a garage sale off your mental list. "I hate coming with empty hands, Scully," you reply, not telling her that deep down you're afraid that just you alone is not enough to make your visit worthwhile. That's why you always bring her something she'd left at the house when she moved out.

Just when you started to relax a little, you hear a distinct knock at the door. Your pulse instantly accelerates because of the foreboding sound, whereas she seems to be a picture of calm. "Sounds like Mark. What does he want? When has it become out of style for a man to give a woman a chance to dress properly and freshen up her makeup before he shows up at her doorstep?" she whines, tying her robe tighter. She combs through her hair and rubs her cheeks. You want to tell her that she looks perfect the way she is, that she doesn't need makeup or perfectly styled hair to be beautiful, but you only give her a short, apologetic shrug and sink deeper into the couch cushions, wondering what excuse he might have to drop by at her place just like that.

"Sorry for coming unannounced, my love, but I missed you so much and a man can only wait so long. Impossibly another whole day."

Alright, no pretenses from his side. He's painfully frank about why he's here and his open infatuation is like a cold fist squeezing your heart.

Before Scully is able to reply something, he licks the words off her tongue with a juicy kiss. He shoves her backward into the living-room, his lips glued on hers, maneuvering her to the couch you're sitting on. He obviously plans to engage her in a veritable makeout session, maybe even more, because he clearly wants to plant her flat out on the comfortable piece of furniture. Unfortunately, your long legs are in the way. You try to pull your feet back, but there's not enough space, so you can't prevent him from stumbling over them.

"What the..." he hisses. It takes him a moment to assess what has just happened, but then his facial features morph from utter surprise into boundless fury in a matter of nanoseconds. "You? What the hell are you doing here?" he bellows at you, clearly not pleased at all to see you.

As there is no real justification for you to be here other than that you, like him, simply wanted to see her, and you doubt he would be amused by this one, all you can come up with is the same excuse you gave her earlier.

"I brought Scully a box of tea she forgot at our house." If this feeble attempt to explain your being here wasn't so damn embarrassing, you might have burst into laughter at how ridiculous you sound. But you don't feel like laughing, and neither does he.

"What? You brought her tea? A year after she left you? Are you kidding me?" His voice has become louder with every word. In the end, he's yelling at you.

"Mark," the receiver of the tea intervenes, "would you calm down, please. There's no need to shout like this."

"Who knows how many times I've seen him here? Four, five? And how often has he been here without me even knowing? Huh, Dana?"

"You're not seriously expecting me to give you an account of who I meet with when you're not around, are you?" Her eyes indicate quite clearly that his boring questions are pissing her off. You've never seen her eyebrows melt into her hairline like this, and you've been at the receiving end of her indignation countless times. You're an expert, actually, on what she looks like when she's mad.

Mark is unwavering tough in his current state of anger. "You're entertaining other men in your pajamas when I'm not here, Dana, and it's supposed to leave me cold? Really?"

Your breath is halted. Of course, he doesn't know that Scully in a robe was so common to you even before you became romantically involved that it really is no big deal. Actually, you haven't really noticed she was in her pajamas when you got here until she said she would go change quickly and you told her not to be silly. You saw each other in hospital gowns, nightwear, undergarments, naked more than any other working duo on the planet, so seeing your former spouse in a pair of flannel PJs underneath a thick white terry cloth robe isn't inappropriate one bit. For you, that is. His attitude varies slightly from yours.

"What are you implying here, Mark?" Scully asks tight-lipped, although it's pretty obvious. Regardless that he is miles off target with his suspicions, you feel a pleasant twitch in your groin. An unexpected, yet very pleasant one.

"He's more to you than just a friend, right?"

There, he speaks it out. His voice is weirdly distorted when he draws imaginable quotation marks into the air pronouncing the word 'friend'.

CLOSURE A - Shippers Beware There Be Sea Serpents In These Waters!

It takes you a moment until you fully comprehend what his innuendo is an expression of but then you get it. He fears he's losing her. He really believes you're on a mission to take her away from him, which you aren't, regardless what your best member just told you. All you want at this stage is to be allowed to share her company once in a while, to make her a part of your life again after you had abandoned her so wantonly. Your motives might change someday in the future, but you're true when you're saying that for now, all you want is to have your camaraderie back.

"Mark, let me explain my-" you therefore start but are instantly silenced by him.

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Mulder! I haven't asked you, have I? Can I please have a word with my girlfriend without you butting in?"

"Don't do this, Mark," you hear Scully whisper and you offer to go. This is shifting slowly but surely into a serious relationship argument between the two of them. You're a thorn in his side and the reason for him being mad at her, you should vanish as quickly as possible to let them settle this.

"No, Mulder, you stay. We've got nothing to hide. You're my guest and we were having tea, and I don't see any reason why you should leave." She can be stubborn if she wants to make a point.

"You're choosing him over me?" The shock and disbelief in his voice are unmistakable. "Now, that says it all!"

"That says nothing at all! Mulder and I were having tea, nothing more and nothing less. And by the way, you came here unannounced just like he did, only that he was here first. So what makes you believe you are any more entitled to stay than he is?"

"Because I am your boyfriend for starters?"

You can tell he's risking his neck with his careless talk. You know how much Scully hates chauvinistic predominance such as this. You're a bit surprised by this intense eruption of jealousy and possessiveness on Mark's part. Until now, he's always been so laid-back when you were around.

"Are you saying that your being here is more legitimate than Mulder's because we sleep together? Is that where this is going?"

"Yes, exactly," he sputters, obviously quicker than he intended to because as soon as the last syllable has left his mouth, his face contorts into a painful grimace. "No! No, of course, not! All I'm saying is...what I'm trying to say, is...ugh!"

"What? You weren't shy blurting out what was on the tip of your tongue a moment ago, why are you being so reserved all of a sudden?"

Boy, is she pissed. She's eyeing him defiantly, unwilling to yield even a millimeter. Her voice is calm, frighteningly so, but you know this posture of hers: feet hip-width apart, straightened knees, arms crossed in front of her chest, head slightly tilted, chin lifted. Every muscle in her tiny body is strained. She's like a rattlesnake ready to jump at her prey.

Her body language isn't failing to take effect, he realizes he overreacted. "Dammit, Dana," he says in a much softer voice now, completely bereft of the sharpness it bore a few moments ago, "I was simply taken off guard by the two of you cozily spending the afternoon together on your couch. I'm sorry I lashed out at you like this, I had no right to do that. Apologies to you too, Mulder. It was a bit over the top."

You stop him with a shake of your hand. "It's okay. Already forgiven and forgotten."

Scully is also appeased. She resolves her rigid body posture, closes the gap between them and ruffles his hair as if he were a little boy. "That wasn't a bit over the top, Mark, it was completely out of proportion. What has gotten into you?"

"For a second I pictured the two of you having something going on behind my back. I mean, you're in your robe, Dana! I simply saw red," he admits meekly, his raw honesty disarming.

"That's ridiculous, Mark. I would never do something like this."

"Yeah, I know. Now that my pulse is back to normal, I know." He shows her his grim face.

"Men," she sighs, "why do you always have to be so territorial?"

"It's in our genes, Scully," you defend your gender and him along with it, "when we've found our girl, we bite away everyone who comes near her."

"Oh, so you approve of such a behavior?"

"I would've probably reacted the same way."

Definitely. Maybe even worse.

"So you're saying this pathetic urge to stake one's claim is something men can't do anything against, that it's a natural reaction?"

She looks at both of you, waiting for an answer. "In a way, yes," you eventually say and Mark nods his assent with some determination.

Scully rolls her eyes, then pinches the bridge of her nose, a distressed sigh escaping her chest. "I don't believe this," she whispers to herself. "You two hobby biologists realize that I'm a trained medical doctor and very proficient when it comes to the nature of human instincts and impulses?"

"But you're a woman, baby," Mark pipes up, "you don't know what we men feel when a rival steps into our line of vision."

"Mulder is not a rival. How often do I have to tell you, Mark?"

"I get that now, Dana, but that doesn't change the fact that I thought he could be." He's wearing a contrite face, appealing to her with puppy eyes which are in no way less powerful than yours. Maybe, it's a typical male thing, to apply that small boy pattern when trying to soften a woman's heart. "C'mere," he breathes, his voice velvety and silky now. He holds his hand out to her, but she's ignoring it, maybe because she's still a little annoyed by his impulsive reaction. He is not deterred, though. He steps closer, really close, so close she can no longer overlook him. He lifts her chin with a finger to make her eyes meet his, then explains, "my exaggerated reaction is simply a sign of how much I'm in love with you. I'm willing to compete with every guy who dares to lay an eye on you. I don't even care if he carries a gun."

You're not licensed to carry a gun anymore, and as long as you're on psychiatric drugs to fight your depression, you won't be. Too bad, actually. You'd like to see if he'd walk the pompous talk with your Glock pointed at his head. You're somewhat certain those syrupy words speaking of his claim of owning her must annoy her, but to your complete bewilderment instead of rolling her eyes and quirking an eyebrow she smiles at him. You stare at her how her body relaxes into his, how her cheek melts into his hand. She casts her eyes down like a teenage girl being sweet-talked by her first beau. He's definitely struck the right chord with her.

What you see simultaneously amazes and disgusts you. The way she's at peace with herself is wonderful. She seems so content and relaxed. It's just him, Mark, who destroys the picture for you.

You clear your throat and make her jump away from him with it. She puts a hand to her chest and gasps. She'd obviously forgotten you're still in the room. "Sorry," you mumble. You could say that you didn't mean to startle her like this, that your sole intention was to protect yourself from having to see them interact so intimately, but you don't, of course. The time has definitely come for you to leave them alone for whatever they are up to - caressing, kissing, make-up sex.

You swallow down the bile which is rising up your food pipe. It leaves an acid trail behind. You take your eyes off of them by pretending to look at the watch on your wrist. "Oh, is it that late already? I forgot that I have an appointment with my tax accountant," you lie. "Gotta go."

"Oh, okay," is all she replies. "I walk you out."

Sure thing, now she lets you go. She doesn't even tell you to say hi to Mrs. Sanderson, your neighbor, who has been filing both your tax declarations for years. She's simply not with you at the moment, she's focussing on him - her boyfriend, her lover, her whatever - who's still holding her hand. Somehow you wished she would tell you to stay once again, but of course, she doesn't. She wants to be alone with him. If you ever felt like the fifth wheel, it has to be now.

"It's okay, Scully. I show myself out."

You don't look back when you close the door to her apartment behind you. You lean against the wall in the hallway and take a few deep breaths to steady your pulse. You hear them talk to each other inside, the walls are not very thick apparently. Their voices are getting louder for a moment when they pass the front door and then quieter again. You hear the hardwood creak under their feet. Are they on their way to the bedroom? Probably. You hear a girlish giggle and then the closing of a door, the bedroom door. Then there's only silence, and you're thankful for it. It turns the cinema in your head off and lets you take inventory of your emotions.

What are you feeling right now, Fox Mulder? If you leave your hurt pride aside that she's chosen him over you in there, what are you feeling?

To your utter bewilderment, you're doing okay. Your heart is still beating and is not shattered into a million pieces. You're breathing normally and not hyperventilating. You're not sinking to the floor because your legs give way but are standing upright, albeit steadied by the wall behind you. You might be able to survive this, you acknowledge. You might be able to live with the fact that your Scully is with another man. How is that possible? Dr. Summers really must be one hell of a therapist.

You let your feet carry you away. Away from this place, away from her, away from your faint hopes for a revival of the romance between you. But it's okay. You feel capable of dealing with this, of accepting the reality as it is. You will have to find another common ground with her, that will be your new project.

EPILOGUE

"Mr. Mulder," the postman waives at you, "good to see you again. It's been a while."

You've just exited your car to open the gate to your property. You're about to drive downtown to see your therapist. You've been in need of a few extra sessions to deal with the recent developments in your life. Rob, the postman, is filing through the mail in the back of his van to sort out yours. With a few letters in his hand and a small parcel, he comes over to you.

"Here, this is for you, sir."

"Same junk as ever?" you ask.

"This one here looks special. Handwritten address."

He hands you your bulk of mail with said letter on top. You take it and weigh it in your hand. It's been a while since you've received mail like this. The last time it was a birth announcement of a distant cousin's third child. Same thick, sophisticated paper, same calligraphic handwritten address.

You swallow. You recognize the handwriting. It's elegant but unfussy, just like the person it belongs to. You've been expecting this but still, it hits you. It's final now. You will have to talk to Doctor Summers about it today.

"Good news, I hope," Rob says, trying to get some small talk going, but you're not in the mood, although he really is a nice guy.

You point at your wristwatch. "I have to get going, Rob. Excuse me, please. I have an appointment in the city."

"Sure. Just hop into your car and let me close the gate behind you."

"Thank you, and have a good day."

"You too, Mr. Mulder."

You doubt it will be a good day.

You throw the envelope on the passenger seat so carelessly that it skitters down into the messy footwell. You didn't mean to treat it like this, so you bent forward to look for it between all the junk. When you feel the firm paper under your paws, you pull it out and inspect it. Your muddy running shoes have left some of the dirt you'd brought in after your last run on the front. You blow it off and place the envelope on the seat again, with more care this time.

You put the car in drive and hit the road, determined to make to Dr. Summers' practice without any further delay. You concentrate on the road and the car in front of you, trying to take your mind off the envelope, but you can't. It's as if it's whispering to you. 'Open me,' it says, 'you want to, don't you?' So, after another mile or so you pull over, put the car in park, grab the letter and hastily rip the envelope open, tearing right through the curvy letters of your address. You even tear off a corner of the card inside along with it. Well, who cares, you're not going to stick it to your fridge like you did with the birth announcement. You still don't know what you did that for anyway, you never liked that particular cousin very much.

You unfold the card but close your eyes to protect yourself from the words. You hear your therapist's voice in your inner ear. 'Fox,' - she insists to call you by your first name, which is okay for you in her case - 'no denying! Look at what is and deal with it.' So you open your eyes and stare at the letters for a few long moments without blinking until the words blur in front of your burning eyes.

      Dana Katherine Scully & Mark Spencer Finlay

      Joyfully Invite You to Celebrate Their Marriage       Saturday the Twenty Seventh of December Two Thousand and Fourteen       at Five o'Clock in the Afternoon        at The Atrium at Meadowlark Botanical Gardens

      Join us for Cocktails and an Evening of Dining and Dancing

You lean your head against the backrest and swallow. A car passes by at maximum speed and the draft in its wake shakes yours. She told you about the Botanical Gardens and how she would love to hold the reception there. You redirect your eyes to the card in your lap, you know there's more.

Moultrie Courthouse, room 1013, 11 a.m. sharp! is scribbled across the announcement in a stiff, angular hand. Further below, as if written in an afterthought, you recognize the cursive and neat letters you are so familiar with. Thank you so much for doing this for me. Part of me will always belong to you. Love, D.

When she first asked you, you wondered why she was being so cruel. It took you a moment until you understood that she can't do this without you. She needs you to set her free, to release her from what binds her to you. So you agreed to be a witness to her marriage and she fell into your arms and cried. The moment reminded you of when you had agreed to donate sperm for her to become pregnant. Like back then, you were unable to deny her request but also uncertain of what it would do to you. All you instantly knew was that you'd lost her. Not entirely, no, she would still be a part of your life as your friend, your doctor, and - it still makes your heart heavy every time you think of it - as the mother of your child, but you lost her heart in the way it had belonged to you for the past twenty years.

You startle when a tear splashes on the card and smears the blue ink of her words. You thought you'd made your peace with this, but a contradictory mix of emotions settles in your chest.

You're happy for her, you really are. Over the last months, since you rekindled after your separation, you've seen her thrive like a flower that has eventually been watered again after weeks of drought. The rosy color of her cheeks had come back, her hair was shiny again and her eyes were sparkling. She laughed a lot, really laughed, no wry smiles or soft chuckles but wholehearted laughter. You even caught her giggling like a schoolgirl. You know that giggle, you used to elicit it from her in bed a long time ago, in another life. She'd been exuberating carefree easiness and elation with every fiber of her being since she started dating him. She even put on a few pounds with the many times she was taken out to dinner. It made her even more beautiful, something you hadn't believed was even possible.

So, you're happy for her. All you ever wanted for her was to have a life full of normalcy, stability and, most of all, light. Mark Spencer Finlay is able to give her exactly that: light. With him, there's no everpresent darkness, no oppressive silence, no leaden weltschmerz. You remember how she once begged you to take her away from the darkness as far as possible. You'd helped to find a missing FBI agent and your involvement in the gruesome case had threatened to pull the both of you down into the abyss again. You took her to a Carribean island and you spent three wonderful months there, but deep down you knew you would fail her, that the black shadows would follow you. And they did, more fiercely than ever before. So you are happy for her. Really and truly.

But.

Your throat tightens suddenly and your heart starts pounding in your chest. She's going to marry another man! Fuck!

She even told you she'd be taking his name. Jesus, Dana Katherine Finlay!? This person sounds like a stranger to you, like a completely different woman. Will you still be allowed to call her Scully?

You startle once again when your cell is buzzing in your pocket. Since when are you so thin-skinned and jumpy? A look at the caller ID tells you it's her. You take the call, although you're not sure you're in a condition to talk to her.

"Yes?"

"Mulder, it's me." I knew that you could tell her, but you smile instead. At least some things never change. "Where are you?"

Funny how with the invention of the mobile phone the first question asked nowadays is always about the whereabouts of the party called. "In the car."

"Don't answer the phone when you're driving," she admonishes you.

"I'm not driving."

You've pulled over to cry over her wedding invitation.

"Good. Where are you going?"

"My therapist."

"Oh, okay...Uhm, did you get the, uh...the invitation?"

"Yes. I'm holding it in my hand as we speak."

"Are you still okay with it?"

"Define okay."

You hear her inhale deeply before she asks tentatively, "are you still okay with being my witness?"

"Scully, I said I would be your witness to your marriage, so I'm going to be your witness. I won't say that I'm looking forward to watching you marry another man, but I will be there delivering my promise."

"Thank you," she breathes into your ear through the phone and the relief you notice in her voice touches you.

You don't know what more to say and neither does she, so there's silence between you. It should be awkward actually, silence on the phone always is, but not between you.

"Mulder?" she finally resumes the conversation.

"Yes, Scully?"

"Are we going to get through this?"

"What do you mean?"

"Am I going to lose you as my touchstone because of this?"

"Will you still need me as a touchstone?"

"Of course!"

"I take it your husband would like to play that part in your life."

"Mulder, my relationship with Mark is totally different from what we have...had...have. Argh! What we have! And he understands."

"Does he? Are you sure? He's a man, Scully, and men don't like to share their wives with other men."

"I'm nobody's possession. I haven't been yours and I'm not going to be his. We've talked about this, Mulder. I love him for where he's brought me to in my current life. He's pulled me from a place I didn't want to be anymore."

"A place I dragged you to."

"A place I decided to follow you to, but couldn't bear living in anymore at a certain point. But that doesn't mean that I don't cherish having been there with you. My love for you will never die, Mulder. Never. It may have changed, maybe it has regressed into something similar to what I felt for you at the beginning, but it's still there."

"And what were they exactly, Scully, those feelings at the beginning?"

"Connection. Trust. Loyalty. Passion for the same cause. An overwhelming urge to search for the truth with you."

"Folie á Deux?"

She laughs. "Yes, Mulder. A madness shared by two. Nothing else describes our relationship better, don't you think?"

She may be right. Only that you can't think of spending your life with anyone else but her, but then again, she had made your life better, worthier living, whereas you had only darkened hers. She'd given you twenty of the richest years of her life, you have no right to ask for more.

"Mulder?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you go on being my beloved spooky friend?"

"Am I really someone you want in your life, Scully? An unstable, unhinged, unsociable madman?"

"It's your friendship that I want, but only if you want mine too."

You hear her holding her breath in anticipation of your answer. You could tell her that you take whatever you get from her, that the worst that could happen to you would be her walking away from you completely, but you spare her the desperate ring it would have.

"I'd have to look for a new physician and explain my unusual medical history to them."

"Is that all you want me to be? Your physician you see once a year for your medical checkup?"

She didn't get that you were joking. Maybe you sounded a bit too serious. "It was a joke, Scully."

"Oh," she whispers and you hear her stifling a sob.

"Listen, Scully, I will be everything you allow me to be. I will be your friend, your touchstone if needed, your annual patient, maybe even your spooky FBI partner again one day. I will be a witness to your marriage and promise you to keep my mouth shut when the pastor asks if anyone had reasons why the two of you should not be married."

"Mulder, that's an overused dramatic plot device in movies I've never actually heard at one of the several weddings I attended in my life. Besides, there won't be a pastor. We'll be at a courthouse, the ceremony will be held by a judge. We will sign a marriage license and that's it."

"Sounds romantic." You haven't seen Rational Scully for a while, but she sure knows how to keep the mood from getting too sugar-sweet, or god forbids, romantic. "Now don't tell me there won't be a garter auction," you say, trying to sound shocked.

"A garter auction? Are you out of your mind?"

"May I toss rice?"

"To symbolize fertility? At our age? No, thanks!"

"It's also a symbol of prosperity, so I've been told."

"You know how much I rely on superstition when it comes to leading my life, don't you?"

"Sure. So you won't care whose hand is on top when you cut the wedding cake either, right?"

"If you think you'll get a picture of me feeding Mark a slice of a sugar-sweet, multi-tier, buttercream wedding cake, you're mistaken. There will be a variety of miniature cupcakes for dessert and that's it."

If you didn't know her so well, you'd be of the impression that she eliminated everything from the list which makes a wedding memorable. "Will I see you in a wedding dress, at least?"

"The groom is not supposed to know!"

"I'm not the groom."

"Oh...right."

What a delicious Freudian slip! Your heart jumps for joy. In the flow of your banter, she obviously forgot for a second that she will marry someone else and not you.

"I will wear be wearing a wedding dress, yes. Not a white one with all the frills, that would be ridiculous at my age," - of course, a fairytale prince's bride has never been on Rational Scully's bucket list of life dreams - "but I did buy something special for the occasion."

"I can't wait to see it. I bet you will look absolutely stunning."

"I hope Mark will like it."

Now it's your chance to say something nice. "He will love it, of that I'm sure. Even if you showed up in rags, he would be blown away by you. He's a man, Scully, he's in love with you and you will be his bride. Men are simple creatures."

"You're sweet, Mulder. Thank you."

"You're welcome. It will be a wonderful day and don't worry, I will be fine. I will sign your marriage license, I will catch the bouquet, in my humorous speech I will recount some of the weird things we've seen-"

"Don't you dare!"

"-I will have a couple of dry martinis with your mother-in-law and I will end up dancing all night with a hot chick in her mid-twenties."

She laughs. "Just be careful not to overexert yourself, you're far beyond your mid-twenties, Mulder!"

"I age well."

She laughs again. What an enchanting sound. It's worth every effort on your part to make this new thing between the two of you work.

"Hey, Scully. I've got to go. My appointment is to start in about ten minutes. See you at the courthouse on the twenty-seventh. I promise to be on time."

"You better be, unless you want to look for a new physician after all."

Now it's your turn to laugh. "Take care, Scully!"

"You too, Mulder. Drive safely and try to stay within the speed limit. Bye for now."

You end the call with a smile on your face and the certainty that if there's one thing that will never change between you it's the light and easy banter you're both so good at. In this respect, she will always be Scully to you, never Mrs. Mark Finlay.

You hope she tosses you the bouquet.

END

[briangroth27]

The 100 Season 4 Review

Full Spoilers…

The 100’s fourth season was a spectacular apocalyptic roller coaster that had me on the edge of my seat from start to finish! I had no idea how they could possibly stop a worldwide nuclear meltdown and, smartly, they didn’t try. The point wasn’t to stop the latest apocalypse; it was to find a way to survive it. The writers created so many dead-end solutions to surviving praimfaya that it not only felt like an extremely difficult struggle, but by the season finale they’d convinced me there might not be a happy ending.

I liked that they resolved the remnants of the Alie (Erica Cerra) plot quickly and efficiently. The fragile peace established in the wake of the City of Light’s destruction set things up perfectly for tensions to rise again just as everyone should’ve been coming together to save the human race. Allowing the people Lexa (Alycia Debnam-Carey) killed in the City of Light to die in the real world was a great way to set things off with our heroes immediately in danger and distrusted, even with impending nuclear apocalypse 2.0 on the horizon. I loved that the season continually built to insurmountable odds; whenever the kids would get a win, they’d be forced with an impossible choice, like freeing slaves or getting a hydro-generator, that would exponentially worsen their chances for survival. Then people started turning on each other, making things even worse. For every character, this season was a test to see how far each of them would go to survive and what going past their limit would mean for their humanity…if they even thought survival was worth fighting for. Discussing what kind of leaders humanity needs in the future and the right way to lead, some of this season’s biggest character arcs felt like a true transfer of leadership from the adults to the kids. Ever since the adults landed at the end of Season 1, there’s been a struggle for them to put the 100 back in their place in the pecking order (to varying degrees of success and/or cooperation), but now it feels like it’s really time for the kids to take over.

The eventual plan for the main heroes to go back to space was a fun one and a cool way to bring things full circle before the time jump at the end of the season. And it’s about time they jumped ahead: no one looks 17 anymore. The entire season was fraught with tension, but the final episode was one of the finest thrill rides I’ve ever seen. Everyone seemed like they could die at almost any moment and I wasn’t sure if they’d make it to space. I was ready for even Clarke (Eliza Taylor) to die, and I’m not sure that I’ve truly believed any main character on a show would actually get killed before. I absolutely loved that—like in the rest of the season—every step of the way was a challenge for the heroes; even getting into the Ark and installing the air generator were struggles that nearly killed the kids! This is how you build tension and create plots overflowing with danger! The incoming worldwide catastrophe was a great excuse to visit as many varied locations as the show could come up with, though I do wish they had the time to dig into each clan’s culture more before wiping them out and sticking them into a melting pot in the bunker. Perhaps we’ll see both the remnants of the various clans and a new, unified culture in Season 5. It was great to see so many differing sets and environments, and it’s going to be interesting to see what the face of the Earth (and the underground bunker) looks like six years later.

Clarke Griffin/Wanheda I really enjoyed Clarke’s attempts to keep the peace and save everyone through multiple political deals with Roan (Zach McGowan), subterfuge in trying to pass herself off as a Nightblood, and finally sacrificing her chance at getting off the planet to get her friends to safety. She’s had to make many hard and divisive choices over the course of the series, but the first time I actively disliked her was when she went along with Jaha’s (Isaiah Washington) plan to steal the bunker when the outcome of the last conclave was in doubt. That was incredibly wrong—even born of desperation as it was—though I liked the role reversal she and Bellamy (Bob Morley) got because of it. I also liked that Clarke found some measure of happiness with Niylah (Jessica Harmon), though I miss Lexa a lot. I truly thought they were going to kill Clarke in the Praimfaya wave…and I think I would’ve been OK with it if she had. I like Clarke a lot, but if she was going to die, going out a hero to save her friends would’ve been acceptable and commendable. It also might’ve been thematically fitting since her leadership and Earth-shattering decisions were so tied to the Earth that we knew, and that era has ended. However, the twist that her homemade Nightblood saved her was a clever one, and a good, unexpected use of an earlier survival attempt. I can’t wait to see how she’s changed in the six years of the time jump and how she’s faring in her new role as a mother figure! What has wandering the Earth nearly alone for six years done to her? Will she be drastically different from the Clarke we knew? Will she be able to fit in with the people in the bunker or those in the Ark now? Or will she have more in common with the new arrivals from deep space?

Octavia Blake/Skairippa Octavia (Marie Avgeropoulos) had perhaps the best arc of the season, going from assassin protecting Roan’s tenuous hold on power, to a warrior who wanted peace, to the victor of the final Nightblood conclave, and finally to the leader of the new combined Grounders. I never could’ve imagined the Girl Under the Floor from the pilot episode who just wanted to party in fresh air would become a Grouder, much less the leader of nearly every human left on Earth! With this season, Octavia has tied Raven (Lindsey Morgan) as my favorite character on the show. Avgeropoulos got to display a huge range of emotion this year, with Octavia’s badass assassin moments (leading into her bloodlust issues), her yearning for peace and her near-suicide, her doubts about whether she could win the conclave, and finally the daunting task of forming a new type of clan. She was great at playing all of Octavia’s sides! I liked that Kane (Henry Ian Cusick) brought up Lincoln’s (Ricky Whittle) death to talk Octavia down from executing Ilian (Chai Hansen) for destroying the Ark; that was a great moment that provided some closure to Lincoln’s death, which I felt was a little rushed. Though Avgeropoulos’ acting was great, I’m not sure I fully bought the writing behind Octavia’s suicide attempt (connected to Lincoln as it was)…though it’s entirely possible Jasper’s (Devon Bostick) constant pleading for death just left me over the whole concept. I didn’t have a problem with the twist that she sought a peaceful life with Ilian of all people, though. I do wish her life as a farmer with him had lasted a little longer, but I get that there wasn’t time for that in either the season or the world. Invoking Octavia’s past as the Girl Under the Floor as a strategy for winning the conclave was really clever and I loved that episode! I was really proud of Octavia when she decided everyone would get a fair stake in the bunker—even going so far as to threaten Skaikru with death if they didn’t pare down their number to 100 and resolving not to punish Azgeda for Echo’s (Tasya Teles) dishonorable actions—and I left the season thinking it’s decisions like those which prove she’s the rightful leader. I can’t wait to see how she leads, and I hope she’s been successful at keeping peace in the bunker without resorting to evil means. Seeing her go from someone who thinks she’s destined to be a warrior to taking on a peacekeeping position will be fascinating! I also wonder if her rule will survive once people get out of the bunker and aren’t forced to live with each other anymore. It’d be a shame for them to come together to survive, only to fall back into war once they’re safe.

Raven Reyes Raven has been awesome from day one and this year was no different! I loved how torn she was over letting Alie’s upgrades run rampant in her brain; on one hand, they increased her intelligence and allowed her to outthink the apocalypse, but on the other they were killing her. This was a clever way to bring Becca “back” while turning Raven’s specialty—technology—against her. I also liked that we got to see Sinclair (Alessandro Juliani) again, acting as the good angel on Raven’s shoulder. Lindsey Morgan was great at portraying Raven in her various crazy, desperate, despondent, and ultimately plucky and resourceful stages throughout the year. She’s also very good at delivering the technical explanations and conveying all the mathematics involved in whatever technology the characters are using (or inventing on the fly). It was great to see Raven forgive Murphy (Richard Harmon) for shooting her; I wonder what’s happened between them in space. I do wish she hadn’t been trapped in the lab for what felt like forever, but that’s where she was most useful. It was awesome seeing all of her friends show up to get her out! They had me convinced Raven would burn her brain out figuring out the key to saving the day, so when she killed herself to shut down Alie’s upgrades and managed to bring herself back right after, I was beyond impressed! I’m eager to see what kinds of technological improvisations she’s accomplished in space over the past six years. It’d be interesting if she’s grown into a different role than just the tech genius since we last saw her. I hope she’s gotten to spacewalk to her heart’s content!

Bellamy Blake I hated Bellamy after he mindlessly slaughtered Grounders last year, even with the understanding that it was supposed to be a parallel to fear-driven actions people took post-9/11. That may have allowed me to understand it, but it didn’t excuse it. So, I liked that he got back together with Clarke as the co-leaders of the 100 this year and the writers did a fairly good job of rehabilitating him over the course of Season 4. Clarke can lead without him, but it seems he needs her to be his best self. I don’t want him and Clarke to ever get to the point where they’d date, though. I liked his efforts to do the right thing all year, especially when he insisted they open the bunker after Jaha and Clarke stole it; that was some great character progression! I also loved every moment he got with Octavia this year, particularly her forgiving him for his role in Lincoln’s death and their last communication with each other over the radio; I really hope their brother/sister relationship is explored more next season. It’ll be interesting to see him come back to the world now that she’s the leader and he might not be; that’ll be an interesting reversal of their dynamic. I wonder if he’s still the leader on the Ark, or if they’ve just done away with that concept altogether because there’s so few of them. I could maybe see him and Echo getting together, but who knows what’s happened in six years. I think it’d be kinda funny if he and Murphy had come to an understanding and came back from space as best friends. And what will the survivors of Skaikru say to the man who opened the bunker, leading to many of their friends and family’s deaths?

Monty Green Monty (Christopher Larkin) didn’t have as meaty an arc this season as he did last year (outside of learning the Ice Nation chief killed his father, after which he let the freed slaves kill him), mostly because he was stuck trying to convince his friends not to kill themselves for so long. I liked that he stood by them to try and convince them to seek better shelter for as long as possible, though. Even if by the end he was just there for Harper (Chelsey Reist) and Jasper, he was far more patient than I would’ve been with impending doom coming at them so quickly. His final scenes with Jasper were really well-acted and made me care about Monty’s loss, even if I’d long stopped caring about Jasper himself. I like Monty and Harper’s relationship a lot and I was very relieved she finally left with him. I hope they’re still together after their six years in space. I also liked that Monty was brought more into the core leadership group of the 100, even if it led to him discovering Clarke’s emergency backup list of people to save, leading to dissention among Skaikru. His reaction to learning he wasn’t on the list was really well done. I wonder what role he’s settled into in space; he seems to be something of an underrated jack of all trades, so in addition to assisting Raven more I’m up for any new uses of his skills. Perhaps he will continue to be the moral compass for the group to contrast Clarke’s tough survival decisions, Bellamy’s guilt-driven efforts to be better, Raven’s analytical mind, Murphy’s self-serving instinct, etc. I liked that Murphy went back to save Monty from the black rain and increasing radiation and I’m definitely interested to see how they’ll have been interacting now that they’re stuck on the space station together. Monty seems like he’d be the optimistic foil for Murphy, so some fun sparks could fly there.

Harper McIntyre As much as I like Harper, I definitely think we need to get to know her better. She’s been recurring since the first season, but if we’ve learned much about her background or even her interests, I don’t remember it. She seems to pick the right side of issues for the most part and she definitely has a deep sense of honor-driven guilt, given her arc this year, but I want to know more. I understood her feeling guilty about accidentally trampling a fellow member of Skaikru (Jesse James Pierce) to escape the black rain—saving herself instead of helping him—but I really wish that subplot had ended sooner. I wish she could have realized more quickly that while she wasn’t right to leave him, feeling as horrible about it as she did means she’s not a terrible person; she was afraid and made a selfish mistake driven by her survival instinct. Yes, it was wrong, but killing herself pointlessly wouldn’t bring him back. What I hated most about this arc was how she sided with Jasper; instead of at least trying to atone for what she’d done by working harder to save as many more as she could or something, she joined the fools doing just waiting for death by contributing nothing. I was really glad she came around in the end, though. I also liked that her reaction to her mistake contrasted her pretty sharply with most of the other main characters: I don’t think she could ever settle for making one of the impossible choices Clarke makes on a weekly basis and she wouldn’t ever do something evil and fear-driven on the scale that Bellamy did. With that in mind, I’d like to put her in some of those impossible situations to see how she might grow as a result next season. Maybe she’s had to face a few of them in space over the past six years.

John Murphy I hated Murphy at the start of the series, but he’s grown on me ever since and Harmon always brings an entertaining energy to his scenes. His standoffish and self-serving nature also brings out some fun conflict in his scene partners, which is always fun. It was good to see his softer side (to an extent) this year as he and Emori (Luisa D'Oliveira) tried to do whatever would give them the best chance of survival. I’m definitely a fan of their relationship and I hope it’s lasted the six years in space. I’m glad he and Raven reconciled their past—their goodbye when she decided to stay behind and keep working, presumably to die, was really well done—and I’d like to learn that they’ve formed a stronger bond in space. I feel like his arc this season was about moving from being selfish (such as refusing to let Bellamy out of his cell to open the stolen bunker) to realizing he needs to help the whole group survive—even if only because that’s also his best chance of survival—and I’m hoping that teamwork instinct has grown within him. For a moment I thought he’d leave Monty to die in the black rain and I was proud that he went back for him. I wonder how much more he’ll choose—or be forced—into becoming a true member of the space team. It’d be a pretty great twist if they made it back to Earth and he had become their leader!

Allies and Enemies I like Emori and feel she brings a fun energy to the series, but I also enjoyed the darker side we saw this year. Unlike Harper, Emori was absolutely willing to do whatever it took to survive, even serving up a random Grounder (Bradley Stryker)—claiming he was Baylis, a Grounder who’d imprisoned her and her brother (Myk Byskov) earlier (Edit: I’d incorrectly remembered Baylis being completely made up; thanks to daisytachi for that correction!)—to Raven and Abby’s (Paige Turco) Nightblood experiments rather than let them use her as the test subject. The fact that Clarke nearly did experiment on her, proving her suspicions and fears about the limits of the kindness of her compatriots, gave a lot of weight to a situation that could’ve been easily written off as her just sacrificing a guy out of paranoia. The 100 loves those tough choices and messy character arcs even for the heroes, and I love it for that. I like that as much as Emori really cares about Murphy, at first she pulled him toward his self-serving tendencies; that was an interesting tug-of-war for both of them. I loved that like him, she’d become a team player by the end of the season, and I’m excited to know how she’s changed after being in space for six years. Her enjoyment of zero gravity was a nice light moment for her; I wonder if she's still enamored with space or sick of it by now. I’d also like to see how her do-anything-to-survive attitude has contrasted with Harper’s guilt over tough choices while in space.

I couldn’t stand Jasper last year or this one, so I was glad he finally got his death wish fulfilled. His begging for death needed to end far sooner than it did, to the point that I had no sympathy for him well before he actually died. He’s been through awful things, sure, but every character has and no one became the do-nothing, self-destructive fool that he did (though many of them did at try to choose suicide rather than face the praimfaya). Jasper even convinced several other people to die for no reason, dragging them all down with him and making him much worse. His drawn-out death didn’t move me except for how it impacted Monty and I’m glad we’re finally rid of Jasper.

Jaha was in a similar position for me: I disliked him last year and ended this season hating him again. It’s true he came in handy with his scientific know-how and his quest to find the bunker. There was definite worth to letting him try to rehabilitate himself after the Alie debacle for Skaikru—I firmly believe anyone can improve—but stealing the bunker was the last straw for me, and should’ve been for the characters as well. That was so selfish and his self-righteousness about how the Grounders would take space from people—it also stuck out to me that he doesn’t even consider the Grounders to be people—made it even worse. At least Clarke felt bad about doing it; Jaha had no problem screwing over anyone who wasn’t one of “his” people, as if an Earth repopulated by Grounders wouldn’t be human in the same way one repopulated by Skaikru would. True Skaikru had the skills to operate the bunker, but they didn’t need all of them for that. I definitely don’t think he deserved a spot in the final 100 Skaikru spots. Sure they were working from Clarke’s list, but he could’ve easily given up his spot to Hardy (Cole Vigue), the man whose kid (Beckham Skodje) he’s adopted, instead of sending Hardy to his death and again saving himself. I do not trust Jaha and wouldn’t be surprised to find that he’s a source of strife in the bunker under Octavia’s rule, particularly given it was her who issued the ultimatum that Skaikru pick their 100 survivors and share the space or die.

I liked that Season 4 found Marcus Kane starting to step back as a leader of Skaikru; instead trying to keep the peace for Clarke while she was off looking for solutions to Praimfaya. An ambassador role suits him and I hope he’s also been a good advisor to Octavia in the bunker. Hopefully he’s learned to trust her as their leader, just like he did Clarke. Talking down Jaha from his plan to kill the Grounders trying to come into the bunker was probably my favorite Kane moment this year. I’d like to see that wisdom come into play in the bunker in the coming season. Will any of Skaikru even listen to him again, given how he talked Jaha out of fighting for the bunker, essentially sending most of their friends and family to their deaths? Or will his (and Jaha’s) realization that there’s no point in saving humanity if you’re going to do it by acting inhuman help bring peace to the bunker?

This year, Abby ran the gamut from doing whatever it took to keep her patients alive, be they Roan or Luna’s (Nadia Hilker) radiation-poisoned people, to giving up on life completely. While she was struck by what they’d done to “Baylis” in Becca’s radiation chamber with their Nightblood tests, she was also willing to run the test again to get their desired result (even with Raven calling them out as being like Mount Weather). It was interesting to see her go from using meds Murphy stole for her to try and save a kid to being willing to risk Emori’s life to create a radiation cure. She justified it with a “do whatever it takes, then figure out how to be human again” rationale, but I wonder if the show will explore whether or not there are limits to coming back from some of these characters’ choices. I’m a big believer in redemption, but with the show constantly throwing impossible choices that often lead to death at these characters—or just having them make huge mistakes that cost lives—is there a limit to the humanity they can regain? While I was disappointed in Abby when she wrecked the chance to test the Nightblood Clarke injected herself with (Alie-induced hallucinations of Clarke dying in it or not), I was proud she sided with Bellamy on opening the bunker chamber. I wonder if she’s been able to cure herself of the Alie upgrade or if it continued to drive her insane, and possibly to her death? I hope it’s not the latter, as an offscreen death in the 6-year time jump wouldn’t be fitting for her. I’m also wondering if Abby will forgive Kane for saving her. She seemed like she’d given up completely, even just letting Clarke leave to save Raven without a fight, which was drastically different from how she’s treated Clarke in the past (as pointed out here). I hope they don’t have an arc where Abby and Kane are fighting and she hates having survived; we just did that with Jasper and it made me hate him. I don’t want to hate Abby too. I want to see her rebuild herself somehow; to figure out how to make a life worth living again.

Octavia’s longtime mentor, Indra (Adina Porter) didn’t seem to get a lot to do this year beyond protecting the interests of Trikru, and that’s a shame. She’s a great character and I hope she has a larger role in the bunker and in Season 5. It was perfect to see her set aside her Trikru focus and push Octavia to claim the leadership of a new type of clan, particularly after how tense things were getting over the occupancy of the bunker. I wonder if her dedication to Octavia and to this new unified clan has held up over the six years in the bunker, or if they’ve parted ways to some extent. It was also cool to meet her daughter Gaia (Tati Gabrielle), and I hope we get to see more of their relationship next season! Gaia was interesting and I’d like to see where she goes now with the leadership structure of the clans not determined by the Flame. Will she abandon the Grounder religion she’s kept sacred to form something new, or, as I’ve seen suggested elsewhere, will her religious focus create problems for Octavia’s right to rule?

Roan worked as a tenuous ally for Clarke. I didn’t think that partnership would last as long as it did (or that it would take on as many forms as it did), but it was only a matter of time until his people became more important than Lexa’s old allegiances and Skaikru outlived their usefulness. I liked that he was willing to see the logic in siding with Clarke instead of irrationally ignoring her warnings or disregarding Skaikru’s technological skill. His death in the final conclave could’ve felt like a convenient time to clear the board of characters, but given so much of his conflict with Clarke and Skaikru had come from trying to save his people, it made sense for him to give his life to that goal as well.

Echo had a long, hard road to finally becoming an ally of Skaikru again after initially blaming them for Alie and it was an interesting one. She played off Roan as his more hardline and distrusting soldier very well—even risking dishonor and shouldering banishment to try and help him win the final conclave—and I’m excited to see if that loyalty has transferred to Skaikru in the six years they were in space. Her interactions with Bellamy were some of her best scenes, and I wonder if they’ve gotten together while orbiting the planet. I also liked that she respected Octavia when she thought she’d died; this show has done a good job of humanizing many of the Grounders and Echo was no exception. As I saw pointed out elsewhere, can Echo and Emori survive in space due to the Grounders’ lower radiation tolerance? If not, I wonder if Raven remembered enough of Becca’s instructions to make them both Nightbloods. If she did, that should be an interesting arc for Echo; she felt it’d be blasphemous if everyone became a Nightblood. Like so many others, Echo attempted suicide in the season finale and by that time I was completely over it as a reaction to praimfaya (so Raven’s “whatever this is, finish it” was perfect!). Those moments felt like they could’ve been cut for more time elsewhere. Regardless, I can’t wait to see how she’s been fitting in with Skaikru over the past 6 years! How she reacts to whatever changes to Grounder culture Octavia has instituted in the bunker to keep the peace will be interesting too. Will Echo see herself as the last true Grounder, or will she identify more with Skaikru now and feel out of place among her former people? Will she and Octavia still harbor bad blood for each other?

I wasn’t that big a fan of Luna’s arc from outsider pacifist to losing all faith in humanity and trying to sentence everyone to death. It was a shame to see a character so diametrically opposed to major tenants of Grounder culture (and violence in general) become the thing she’d hated and fled. However, since it came from the death of her entire clan and from watching Abby and Clarke willing to do anything to make sure their Nightblood tests succeeded (even if Clarke was eventually willing to subject herself to the radiation to test it), I bought it. I just would’ve liked her to continue to find an alternate way of doing things. Perhaps her arc reflects a message of the show in general: you can’t sit on the sidelines and eventually you’ll have to get your hands dirty. Alternatively, it could mean that once the peaceful are driven to war, all is lost. Or that breaking someone so dead-set on one way of doing things shatters them completely.

Nathan Miller (Jarod Joseph) could’ve used more screentime this year. He and Bryan (Jonathan Whitesell) had a falling out over the hydro generator and I wonder if his practical nature—saving 500 in the Ark was more important to him than the 25 slaves—will play into helping Octavia run the bunker. I also wonder if his distrust of the Grounders from the early seasons will continue to thaw after living among them for so long; at least, I hope it will, because the tribalism has to stop if humanity is going to survive. Though they ultimately went with Clark’s list and left his father (Chris Shields) out, I wonder if he’ll find out his dad put two names into the initial lottery to stay in the bunker. Either way, I’d like to see his reaction to his father’s death.

I’d definitely like to know more about Niylah! At first I thought she’d just be a rebound relationship for Clarke, but she’s proven herself a loyal, genuinely good person and this show could definitely use that contrast with so many other characters making the hardest of choices. As I’ve seen pointed out elsewhere, she’s one of very few characters who have kept their hands clean over the course of the series and I wonder if that’s been possible in the bunker. Has she been instrumental in leading the people within towards a brighter future? Given neither Skaikru or Trikru wanted her around at the end of this year, with only Octavia standing up for her, has she been forced to harden herself for protection in the bunker? I loved Lexa, but perhaps Niylah’s very different personality is what Clarke will need going forward. Has she waited for her sometime-paramour in the bunker, or has she moved on? Their reunion should be interesting no matter what form it takes.

Ilian’s obsessive hatred of technology—sparked the Alie-related death of his family—and Skaikru made him a solid minor adversary early on; he was a nice bit of unexpected fallout from Alie’s City of Light arc. I liked that the City of Light arc wasn’t forgotten in the rush toward Praimfaya. I was surprised he managed to burn Alpha Station, one of several tragedies befalling Skaikru’s efforts to survive this year. I thought Ilian brought out interesting character moments in the people around him, like Kane being ready to kill his own people to keep them from descending into vengeance-fueled mob rule and Octavia being forced to confront who she’d become and face Lincoln’s death again. Once he tried settling down with Octavia, his optimism was a nice contrast to so many other characters and his view of death and life as being akin to crop cycles was an interesting outlook: they were planting crops not necessarily for themselves, but perhaps for future generations. In that sense, he became an unexpected foil for Luna; she lost faith in humanity and wanted to destroy it, but Ilian went from wanting vengeance to optimistically planning for humanity’s future. He also chose to fight to save his people in the final conclave, which makes me wonder if survival in this world requires violence and a loss of humanity to save the humanity of others.

Riley (Ben Sullivan) felt all sorts of awkward, since everyone suddenly knew him very well when we’d never even heard of him before. It makes sense they’d all know him given they’re all from the Ark, but since no one had ever mentioned missing him, the sudden (for us anyway) first-name basis he was on with everyone felt off. He died without much fanfare (a drug overdose at Jasper’s end of the world party) too, so I’m not sure what the purpose was for the seeming attempt to set him up as a new major supporting character. His best moment may have been attempting to assassinate Roan, since that allowed us to see Bellamy fighting for redemption for his own war crimes.

Season 5 I don’t think they can top praimfaya as an “enemy,” so I hope the focus next year is on exploring the new status quo they’ve set up and the conflicts that it will breed, even if they’re smaller scale. How do you build a new society? I was a little confused over the prison ship that arrived in the end, but this talk with show creator Jason Rothberg made me much more excited for what’s to come. Unlike when the adults landed on Earth and of course already knew the kids, this feels like a true parallel to the series premiere, when the 100 landed and knew no one on the ground. What are these prisoners going to be like? Will they be used to the harsh Earth conditions given their asteroid mining, much like the 100 were better suited to the radiation levels on Earth’s surface than the Mount Weather people? And given that they’re miners, certainly they’ll be able to dig out the bunker, right?

I’m definitely excited to see how Octavia has been keeping the peace in the bunker too! I really hope they’ve found the time to rediscover their humanity and work together, so they can emerge from the bunker as a true unified force. And what have the kids been doing in space for six years? Have they been captured by these prisoners, or did they work out some sort of partnership before they found out the ground was habitable again? I’m excited to see Clarke in a mom role and I’m interested to see how Abby will respond to that. I can’t wait to find out more about Clarke’s Nightblood “daughter” Madi (Imogen Tear, Lola Flanery) and where she came from either.

 Season 4 was fantastic; one of the finest, most exciting seasons of television I’ve ever seen. Bring on Season 5!

[phasesofpencilsmain]

Okay I'm pumped for the leaked episode title and all but I'm also a little worried. It's called Reunited and if it has anything to do with Lars being reunited with his friends and family on earth after they find a way to bring him back or something like some people think, I'll be happy, but also a little sad. Because we barley spent much time on homeworld, we haven't gotten the chance to properly explore the planet, learn the modern culture, etc. I don't really want us to rush to get off homeworld, yes I want there to be a /sense/ of being rushed so it's not just 30 townie episodes before steven remembers lars exists, but I want to know more and see more about homeworld first hand. I want the off colors to explain more of homeworld culture, I want to see more of the surface and the ruins of homeworld-even if it's just one of the characters looking up and catching another glimpse of the sheer insanity that is gem civilization and technology. I want to see more gems, like enemies trying to track them down or something. I want to see more tense battles for life or death. Homeworld has been built up for so long and to just give us three episodes on homeworld only to show us screen caps worth of the planet seems like kind of a let down. Plus it'd be way too easy for the problem to be resolved that quickly. Maybe by the time it comes back about a month or two /has/ gone by in the show, which would be a fairly reasonable time to get him back home, but for us it hasn't been that long in terms of the span of episodes. Plus, while it might be considered filler to some fans, I wanna see how the townies-specifically those who were closest to lars or knew what happened to him (Sadie, his parents, even jamie or connie) are taking to him being missing. Sadie, Jamie, Connie, and onion (though we probably wouldn't get much dialogue from him) were all involved in the same thing that happened to lars but they were able to escape. Whether or not they even really knew him by name they've got to be handling it pretty roughly I imagine, that they all escaped but there was still someone who got left behind on the ship that they forgot to grab. Hell, Sadie even /knew/ where Lars went but in the heat of the moment forgot to call him or find him to help him escape. I'm sure once they find out steven is safe they'll be a lot more at ease, but it would probably still be haunting to know that someone else didn't make it back and that he can't get back just yet. Especially if they found out he died, they would've fully realized the real peril they could've been in if they hadn't made it out, and knowing that someone they at least could put a face to had died has got to be traumatizing to some degree, even knowing he was revived. Of course there's also his parents who by now have probably realized that their son is missing, and if steven has to go to their door and tell them what happened they'd be devastated. They might even lash out and demand steven find a way to bring their son back asap, which he'll have to reassure them that they're doing all they can right now. But beyond that there probably wouldn't be any consoling them besides maybe the occasional update or message from Lars conveyed by Steven to let his parents know he's okay and to just wait a little longer. Then there's steven- he literally watched his friend die in front of his eyes. He was the one of the first to see and the first to know that he actually died. He didn't feel or hear a heart beat or any breathing. He held his corpse, Steven who is only 14, has held a dead body- and the dead body of a friend no less. The show has always joked about or just generally made light of death before (all of Steven's over exaggerations like in Steven floats, and they even casually mention it in the song "peace and love" and "Steven and the crystal gems") but now that it's actually happened, that he's actually seen it it is no longer just a joke. It is no longer something you can just casually mention in a feel good song. It's become something real, and something terrifying for him. He probably feels extreme guilt this all happened to lars and that even after all he went through he can't go back still. He's probably frantic, and aside from telling everyone lars is okay, is probably going to try and dedicate all his time and effort into bringing lars home and checking up on him, trying to help in whatever way he can. To the point that he's so consumed by his own regret and guilt that it starts to get a little worrying and becomes almost like an obsession. I imagine that seeing that has probably scarred him where maybe if he even starts to relax he remembers lars, his death, and that he's still stranded and is instantly back to trying to figure out a way to bring him back. Idk I kinda ended up rambling about possible headcanons but basically what I'm trying to say is that a look into how everyone on earth is dealing with what happened might be interesting. Finally, we don't even know how exactly they're going to get Lars back. Pearl mentions a drop ship or something but from the sound of it it's badly damaged and likely in a state of decay. Not to mention with homeworld's advanced technology, seeing an old era one ship would definetley make them stand out. We saw what looked like a hand (or leg) ship in the desert in lion four, but if it's really pink diamond's ship like some have speculated or even Rose's ship, they'd still stand out due to a ship like that being out of commission for thousands of years most likely though they'd likely still blend in better with that ship. So how would they even go about saving lars effectively? There are still so many questions and so many things I wanna see that if they just bring lars straight home, even after the end of thirty minutes- unless we get a lot of questions answered or see a lot more of homeworld to be satisfied or at least have somewhat of a promise of returning there (but like why would they have a reason to?), just getting lars back would seem way too quick and unsatisfying.

[emilyyhill]

Doing the health thing.

As many of you know, the past four to six months has been an absolute roller coaster for me health wise. I have had more diagnoses than I can count on one hand but nothing was drastic enough for to elicit a dramatic response. So I kind of just wandered through this ridiculous season until everything clicked and we worked something out.

Now I’ve only felt good for three weeks, so I’m still taking this very slow. I am not getting too excited just yet. But:

I went super MIA for a good while there. As I’ve reemerged and shared what’s been happening with friends, I hear so many people saying “I feel like that too!” or asking “How on Earth did you get better?” So here we are. The list of things I’m doing to help get/keep me healthy.

Now I’m not a doctor or health professional by any stretch – this is purely what I’ve done and what MY TEST RESULTS informed MY DOCTORS and HEALTH PEOPLE. So please don’t take this as gospel truth.

But I feel like I have some advice for those feeling a bit stuck in a cycle of health that definitely isn’t what it should be.

First things first, it’s not normal to be exhausted. Full stop. We live in a society where we are busy all the time, and a lot of us are unknowingly addicted to a substance (*cough* coffee *cough*) to try and alleviate underlying sleep deprivation. This is not sustainable – you should never be that busy that you are always feeling like you need a weeks worth of sleep.

It’s also not normal to feel tired after 8-10 hours of sleep. Fatigue and daytime sleepiness is a HUGE indicator that your body is not functioning at its peak. It means that something is lacking: whether it be sleep, nutrients, water, positivity – all of things contribute to our energy levels.

For example, fatigue and daytime sleepiness can be a symptom of: • Low iron or excess iron – iron’s can be annoying like that; • Mental health conditions like depression or anxiety; • Food intolerance and IBS; • Sleep apnea or poor sleep routines; • Low blood pressure; • Glandular fever or cytomegalovirus (or a bunch of other viruses); • Super simple things, like dehydration, jetlag or overeating (that post Christmas nap is definitely supported by s c i e n c e); • About a million other things.

So if you are feeling tired even after a regular night’s sleep, first consider your schedule and then consider a further investigation into the inner workings of that hot lil bod of yours 😏

I hear you: “That’s great Em. But who can help me? My doctor doesn’t care because I don’t have blood gushing out of a limb that’s falling off!” I feel you: My doctor ignored me for YEARS until I crashed real bad, and even then, he didn’t really care. *sigh* Not a fun time. Obviously I don’t go to that doctor anymore.

Go see a naturopath. But a good one. Not a hippie one.

Not that I’m against hippie naturopaths, I’m sure they are helpful too. But if a naturopath is going to be your main port of call for recovery, make sure you are seeing an experienced, degree qualified natural health specialist. Looking into your eyes with a shiny light is not enough on it’s own. Make sure they know their stuff.

Make sure they are using reputable brands of supplements (Metagenics, BioCeuticals, MediHerb etc.) that require practitioner prescriptions – in other words, you can’t just buy the supplements “over the counter”. And, they should recommend more than just essential oils.

Naturopathics can be a slow process, and it might take a while for you to see some changes. They look for the cause of the problem and try to resolve that, rather than putting band aids on things (an approach typically taken by mainstream medical doctors). But, for me, once we worked out what was causing my issues, it was a BINGO moment and I hit the health jackpot within DAYS.  

Heads up: naturopaths by definition are a bit alternative. They’ll definitely ask about your poo, want to poke you and their machines make weird sounds but hey, it’s usually pretty non-intrusive.

It can also be expensive, especially when you start taking supplements and vitamins. It’s also not recognised by Medicare or most private health insurance, so it’s usually an out of pocket expense. I totally understand that may not be feasible for everyone. But – if you can, I totally recommend.

I go to Don Graham at Vitage Naturopathics (Springwood). He and his wife Sandy are AMAZING, drop them a line here.

Don’t abandon your general practitioner or specialist.

Look, when things hurt or are causing significant disruptions – GO TO THE DOCTOR. When I’m covered in a heinous rash and I can’t sleep because of it, I can’t wait another three weeks to see the naturopath and then go on an elimination diet and try this, that, and the other. I NEED TO SLEEP DAMMIT. Get me onto those steroids, stat. But not before I take photos to show the naturopath later. It’s teamwork, look it up.

Keep a symptom diary.

We all like to think that we have a pretty good memory. You don’t. Your memory is shit. Write stuff down. Track your period, track your headaches, track the days you have explosive diarrhoea and the days you are constipated. TRACK ALL YOUR SYMPTOMS. 

Whether you go to a naturopath or a doctor, having it all on paper with dates will help you figure out if there are any patterns or if you’re just a loose cannon (still sad about Luke from Survivor, so here’s a meme in his honor).

Find yourself some good friends.

Heck, chronic illness can be lonely as hell. You miss out on parties, on coffee catch ups. you have to drop activities that you did with friends (like going to gym classes or walking your puppies together).

Research has shown that people who report high levels on loneliness are also more likely to develop both short and long term illnesses, ranging from colds to dementia. Loneliness will make it so much harder for you to get better, both physically and mentally.

So what happens when you might drop off the radar for days, weeks, or months at a time?

Rely on incredible friends who understand that every plan is tentative pending health. Find those people who will check in with you when you’ve been a bit MIA, and are willing to ditch the cute café for a cup of tea in your lounge room when can’t get yourself out of the house.

In saying that, reach out to people. Don’t expect everyone to know what’s going on, and still try to take the small steps you can to show people you still care (and just need a little extra love right now).

Be gracious with yourself and the state of your home – you don’t have to have everything perfectly together to invite someone over. Maybe you sit on the couch in your pyjamas and chat for a grand total of half an hour because that is all you can manage. If so, that’s okay! You made an effort, and when you have such little capacity, that will scream volumes to your friends.

Embrace the discomfort of making changes.

I cringe a little bit every time I, a girl wearing a dress with cons, order a soy flat white in my pink Pottery for the Planet keep cup, but hey, we’re embracing the discomfort.

I had to give up God’s most precious gift to humanity: the humble smoked almond. Don’t even get me started on hummus. Yet here we are, feeling a million times better for it. Thank God for a sneaky cheat moment here and there (not a whole day or I’d look like a 22 week pregnant lady…).

Problem was – unbeknownst to me, I relied on food for comfort. It was always familiar; I KNEW I’d feel emotionally better after some cheese and a choccy milk. I had to realise that I needed healthier coping strategies now other than food – like meditation and exercise and… actually dealing with my problems. Ugh.

I also had to embrace the fact that people loved me even when I couldn’t do anything for them. I was still a part of my church when I couldn’t serve on team. My family still loved me when I didn’t contribute to the dishes for a while.

My worth to people isn’t attached to what I can do for them and that was a huge thing for me to learn. I probably would not have fully understood that lesson had I not been so absolutely unable to do anything for anyone but myself.

Embrace the discomfort – you’ll grow from it. I promise.

Find things that you like!

Let’s talk about healthy juices. With this list of food intolerances rounding up at SEVENTEEN, a lot of my faves got the cut (see ya honey, pineapple, mango etc. etc.). You know what didn’t get the cut? BLOODY SPINACH. What is full of iron and good for your belly? SPINACH. What am I eating a lot of right now? SPINACH. 

I don’t love spinach, but when combined with other things and blended to a pulp, it can be good. The only way you are going to stick to a new lifestyle is by finding things you like. Plus, life is way to short to drink gross smoothies every day.

It could be that you try to find new forms of exercise that are better for your condition - I recently discovered yoga and climbing, both of which are heaps less taxing on my adrenal glands and therefore better for my fatigue.  

It may be new routines – I have to go to bed earlier than before which means I often can’t spend time with friends on “school nights”. I had to shift my hours at work from 8 to 4 to 10 to 6 so that I could do what I need to do in the morning before work.

It might be swapping to new products - I changed my skin care products because I was allergic to one of the chemicals in the one I had been using for years. 

It’s trial and error – you have to be open to trying new things, and deal with the fall out of some changes doing more damage than before. But when you work out what works, it’s like a whole new person. Trust me on this, yeah? It pays off in the long run.

Be diligent.

It can be frustrating and it can be so hard not to see the pay off until the long run. Taking your pills twice a day, drinking your veggie smoothie thing twice a day, consistently putting your health first when you just want to go out and eat freaking cheese pizza. I get it, it’s tedious. But consistency is key. It’ll happen and you’ll build a new routine and relish in all your new found health and wellness. YAY.

Pay attention to your mind, not just your body.

The way we think about our body has HUGE implications on our physical health. I touched on this earlier with the loneliness thing. The same principle expands to positivity, to courage, to telling ourselves that our body is strong and rebuilding, not a piece of shit that’s not doing its job. Spend time meditating, reading, reflecting, feeding your mind good thoughts while we feed our bodies with good food!

Wow this got pretty long. If you’re still here, congrats. I really do hope you got something good out of it – even if it’s that you should definitely go buy some smoked almonds because they are something wonderful that this Earth does not deserve.

Hit me up if you ever want to chat! Always open, always keen, available sometimes (because recovering and still kinda tired…).

All my love, E x

[carrotycake]

Crown Another

Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Allura/Shiro (Voltron)

Allura struggles with accepting the mantle of Black Paladin.

A/N: wow so I started writing this as an exercise in procrastination, and here we are, 1700 words and several hours later Anyway i'm still in pain after the ending to S2 so have some angst and my humble contribution to Shallura Hell™

AO3 // FF.net

And it's harder than you think Telling dreams from one another And you thought the lions were bad Well, they tried to kill my brothers

She goes to the armour locker and sees the spare set, neatly folded and polished. Waiting for its rightful owner to return. Her heart is heavy as she picks up the helmet, as black as the night.

Keith is there, hovering nervously in the background. He puts a hand on her shoulder.

“He’d want you to.”

She isn’t so sure. She knows for a fact that Shiro told Keith he should lead if he was gone. Keith has flown the black lion before. It makes sense.

But nothing makes sense, not now that he’s vanished.

Keith, seeing her hesitation, points out that he doesn’t want to leave Red. Can’t leave, after the bond they built up together. “Shiro’s like my brother,” he says, “But you two-”

He breaks off, hesitates; what went on between her and Shiro was never made public. Still, he has always been annoyingly perceptive.

“It’s okay,” she says, “It’s not like he’s here to blush.” It’s the first joke she’s made since – well, since it happened. Keith shrugs; a half-smile.

“All I meant was, I think you’re more suited to the Black Lion than I am. And – he loved you, you know. Loves you. If that helps.”

She frowns, still holding the helmet. “Thank you, Keith.” Her voice is small, distant. He loved you.

The red paladin nods, understanding. “I’ll leave you in peace. See you for training later?”

“Yes. I-I’ll be there.” Her voice breaks, but Keith is already leaving. Better that than let him see her break down, she decides.

He loves you. Shiro loved her.

For the first time, she allows herself to cry; heaving sobs that echo around the locker room and leave her breathless. She’d never told him, she realises. Of course she loved him; how could she not? But for some reason her feelings had never made it to her lips, had never been spoken out loud.

She resists the urge to fling the helmet across the room, to watch it crack and shatter into a thousand pieces. Just like her father. Just like Shiro-

No, she’s better than that. She’ll put on the uniform, the armour, the helmet. She’ll sit in the chair that he sat in, the lion that he flew; the lion whom he bonded with and won over Zarkon with.

She ignores her writhing thoughts – she shouldn’t be wearing this, it isn’t hers – and carefully fastens the armour. Despite it being a spare of Shiro’s, it automatically adjusts to fit her, like all the paladin armours. It feels no different from her usual getup, although she thinks it should.

The others are already out with their lions – she can hear them chattering faintly over the comms in the helmet she holds under her arm. They haven’t been able to form Voltron in several weeks; she can tell they are itching to get going. To find Shiro.

Eventually, she stands in front of the Black Lion. It’s colossal; she always forgets the sheer size of these beasts, especially from years of watching them from a distance, from the relative safety of the castle. She places a hand on its giant, metallic muzzle. Her hand glows, briefly – she isn’t sure if it’s the lion’s energy, or the strange magic she unlocked whilst fighting Haggar. Either way, it frightens her, and she draws it back, stumbling, as if burned.

The Lion, though, has other plans. Drawing itself up fully, it opens its jaws wide and emits a massive roar; she feels her bones rattle and her ears shake. It looks straight at her, yellow eyes unblinking, and suddenly she sees everything.

Zarkon. Her father. The creation of the Lions and the Castle and that destroyed planet, is that - ? Too late, and the vision changes. This time it’s Shiro, sitting in the Black Lion’s cockpit for the first time. She sees a brief smile flash across his face before determination sets in. The vision changes again; she feels a jolt to her stomach as she sees herself, mirrored, draped in Shiro’s embrace as they press against each other in a rare moment of downtime. Then, as quickly as the vision appeared, it is gone: Shiro is ejected from the cockpit and the Black Lion is almost stolen by Zarkon. This time, she feels the panic – the Lion’s panic? – as she watches Shiro drift away.

The cockpit is momentarily occupied by Keith, and she sees the concern on his face as he races to save Shiro. She remembers; the ruined wormhole, the time loop – if Pidge hadn’t fashioned that transmitter beacon... Another change, this time, and Shiro is sitting in the chair, contemplating something. He isn’t in armour, and they aren’t flying. The ground rumbles, and they – Allura too? – are transported to what seems like another dimension. Black Paladin fights Black Paladin, the Lion roars.

Another change, again, and they’re in the middle of another battle. Voltron fights Zarkon, and then there’s a great beam of light as the Castle’s beam turns in on itself: she feels her heart race as Shiro’s did, thinking she was lost. The determination, the resolve; they have to move on. Finish Zarkon. The scene changes, she – Shiro? – faces Zarkon on the astral plane again, the Lion roars, she has Zarkon’s bayard – Shiro’s bayard. And then she feels the Lion’s sorrow as Shiro is ripped out from underneath her, taken from them.

The visions end and Allura is on her knees, breathless. There are tear tracks criss-crossing her face, and she feels her heart heavy, little hope for the future. And yet, she also feels determination. Resolve. It feels like Shiro, and it gives her strength. She thinks she understands, now. The Lion wanted her to take his place, at least until they find him.

Again, she presses a hand to its muzzle. “I won’t let you down,” she murmurs, letting the tears fall before wiping them away forever.

The Black Lion kneels in front of her, allowing her to deftly climb into the cockpit and take Shiro’s seat. His bayard is still in place; she swears it still smells like him, for crying out loud. She sighs. Patience yields focus. Wasn’t that was he always swore by? Hands clad in unfamiliar armour grip the controls, and the Lion rumbles approval beneath her. Her helmet display pops up as the Lion lifts off from the ground, and there’s a small sense of irony when she realises that she is probably the only Paladin – however temporary – who can read the words scrolling across the dashboard.

She’s so lost in her thoughts that she can’t tell which paladin speaks first. “Princess, is that you?”

In the strictest sense, yes. But she hasn’t really been herself for a long time.

She flies out of the hangar, relishing the feel of weightlessness that often accompanied flying. She had learnt to fly, many moons ago, back on Altea. It wasn’t a typical ‘princess’ thing to do, but then, she was never going to be a typical princess.

Allura tries not to think about how Shiro used to call her ‘princess’, even when they were above and beyond the boundaries of familiarity. And then the one time he didn’t.

She remembers his scream as the Castle blinked into darkness, before she vanished into a brief unconsciousness. It was, she thinks, the last real communication they’d had before – before.

“Yeah, but I’m still with you.”

Her eyes snap open. She has been piloting the Lion, doing somersaults and sharp turns without even realising. And that was Shiro’s voice. She can’t see him, but she feels his presence. It hums through every fibre of her being, through the Lion, across worlds and galaxies and universes and dimensions. She feels like she is on the astral plane again; she sees through the eyes of the Lion and into Shiro.

“Shiro?” She slows the Lion into an orbit of their chosen planet. The other paladins are probably wondering what she is doing; she has already switched off her helmet comm so they can’t hear.

“Don’t forget, Allura. The Lion will help you. You’ve just got to trust her. Trust in yourself. And trust me.” She almost hears his smile. “You know. For good luck.”

“You were always terrible with jokes,” she says, chuckling.

“And you weren’t much better, if I recall.”

Allura sighs. “I miss you. There’s – things I wanted to say-”

“I know. I miss you too. But I’ll be back soon. The Lion knows it.”

If he were here, she imagined him running a hand through his tousled, tufted hair. Or rubbing the bridge of his nose, perhaps, if he was worried about something. Sometimes, he would clench and unclench his fists, human hand and Galra hand, and Allura would take them both and kiss them, human hand and Galra hand, until her lips couldn’t tell which was which and Shiro had stopped shaking-

“Just don’t forget, Allura. Promise me you won’t forget.” It might be her imagination – she might be straight-up hallucinating – but she almost feels the gentle pressure of his hands on hers. Then, everything fades, and she’s still sitting in the cockpit of the Black Lion. The lion roars, and still she rattles, deep in her bones, but this time she knows.

The Lion knows it.

Allura, Paladin of Voltron, knows it.

And she’ll be damned if she lets Shiro slip away.

You are the light that is blinding me You're the anchor that I tied to my brain 'Cause when it feels like I'm lost at sea You're the song I sing again and again

(full links are at the top, there’s more info there about the songs and stuff! thanks for reading if u got this far <3 )

[seriouslyhooked]

Wedded Bliss and Asterisks (A Modern CS AU) Part 5/?

Emma Swan is an enemy of love who just happens to be an up and coming wedding dress designer. She’s convinced that a fairytale kind of romance is nowhere in her future but when she meets Killian Jones, whose magazine is covering the opening of her new boutique, things change. Suddenly Emma finds herself drawing up new plans for her life, ones that seem to all be leading towards her own form of wedded bliss. Rated M.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four.  Also on FF Here.

A/N: Hello everyone! Let me just say again how absolutely wonderful it is to see this kind of response to a story. All your kind words have made it so easy to be inspired and to keep the story going. This chapter is bringing us to the interview, but I am cutting through a little of the slow-burn with a tactic I have used in some of my previous stories. I hope you all enjoy and thank you so much for reading!

She was restless. That was the defining feeling clinging to Emma in this moment as she paced her living room.

It was late, way later than she should be up if she wanted any meaningful sleep, but it couldn’t be helped. Tomorrow would bring her date with Killian and the fact that there was so much waiting left to do had her charged with this energy that couldn’t be siphoned down. Emma felt like something was missing and until she found a resolution to that sense of loss she knew she’d keep moving; it was a natural instinct.

Since coming home from work Emma had done everything she could think to keep her busy. Dinner was made, the apartment was cleaned, there was an attempt at mindless reality television and a book that she’d been wanting to read for a while, but those pursuits were all either completed or abandoned for not being a good enough distraction. She’d even decided on the exact outfit she wanted to wear for her date, a dress of her own design that she loved but never had a cause to wear, but it didn’t sate any of this urge inside of her to keep moving and keep going.

Suddenly a knock came at the door and Emma stilled for a moment, caught in that moment of wondering who it could be. She might live in the city that never slept, but anyone she knew should be dead to the world right now. Still she moved across the room as her hands shook from the anticipation. Through the peephole she found the answer she’d been looking for all along.

He’d come! Killian had come to her apartment and he looked even more sinfully attractive than usual, because as much as she loved seeing him in those custom suits, it turned out she might like him even more out of them. In dark jeans, a similarly shaded shirt, and a leather jacket he was problematically hot and she leaned against the door for a second to right herself. Finally Emma pulled the door open and took him in fully, loving the shot of adrenaline that came as she did.

“Swan.” The way he said her name was reverent, as if she was the most precious thing in the world to him and for a moment it stole her breath away. She blinked a few times wondering if he was real or just something she’d wished for so hard that he had to appear.

“Killian. What are you doing here?”

His eyes looked hungrily at her, as if he was dying for a taste of every curve of her body and immediately Emma was on alert. Up to now on the train there had been looks for sure, but whether Emma was just in denial, or Killian had been keeping himself in check, Emma had never felt so seen as she did now. She was so tuned into him and dying for the same chance to explore everything between them, but when his eyes moved back to meet hers she was caught, unable to make the first move or do anything but fall into those deep blue pools.

“This.”

His one word prefaced him stepping inside and pushing her against the nearest wall. Killian’s mouth was demanding, his kiss sensual in every way, and his hands were strong and gentle all at once. All it took was a second for Emma’s own need to ramp up drastically. She’d wanted this forever, and this felt like the moment everything would truly come to a head. It was finally happening and she was desperate for this and for the feel of him against her.

The next thing Emma knew they were on the couch, with Killian above her, his hands roaming and his presence overwhelming every sense she had. It was intoxicating and dizzying, yet Emma felt like she still wasn’t getting enough. She wanted more and she had this niggling feeling that until she got it, she would never be satisfied.

“Impatient are we, love?” Killian grinned against her neck as he let out the words and then she felt the subtle drag of his teeth against her pulse point. It made her jump and then arch her hips closer, trying to entice him to go faster and to give them both what they so clearly wanted.

“You have no idea.” His eyes sparkled at her response.

“Ah but I do, Emma. More than you know.” He seemed about to have mercy, his hands trailing lower, and lower but then the shrill sound of her phone cut through the sensual moment.

“Ignore it,” Emma said but Killian pulled back, his breathing ragged and the smile on his face so frustratingly sexy that Emma felt crazed.

“We can’t.” Emma’s brow furrowed.

“Of course we can.” She moved to kiss him again but he was just out of reach.

“No, love, not this time.” It was a cryptic statement that Emma didn’t understand until the sound of her phone got louder and louder and she was ripped from the warmth of the moment.

Emma opened her eyes and found she was sleeping in her bed and not on the couch after all and the realization that all of that had been a dream washed over her. It was incredible to her that her brain had managed to create that kind of fizzling heat and she swore it had been so real her skin was still tingling, but the evidence was fairly damning that it was in fact fantasy. Yes, she’d done a fair amount of pacing last night, but she eventually retired from her living room to try and catch some sleep. The only thing that carried through from her dream state to now was the sound of her phone ringing.

“Hello?” Emma asked groggily, knowing without really looking that it was Ruby from the distinct tone, but not truly believing that her friend would be calling this early.

“Hey there, Princess! This is your morning wake up call to ensure that you haven’t overslept.”

Emma pulled the phone away from her face and stared at it, convinced this was a dream too. It had to be, right? Because on what freaking planet would Ruby ever be calling her to make sure she got up? Certainly not this one, not when Ruby was just as adverse to mornings without coffee as Emma was and never ever played the mothering card for anyone.

“My alarm wasn’t set to go off for another twenty minutes.” Emma countered, looking at the clock on her bedside table and groaning as she put a hand over her eyes and silently willed sleep to come back and for that dream to come with it.

“Really? You can get ready that quickly?” Emma felt her face scrunch up in confusion, but she let that skepticism slide.

“Ruby, I love you, but why are you actually calling me?”

“I told you – wake up call.”

“Since when have I ever needed one of those?” Emma knew the answer and it wasn’t since college. Even on the mornings she slept in the worst she always found a way, which made Ruby’s ruse all the more transparent.

“What’s the matter? Did I interrupt something?”

“Yeah, Ruby, sleep. You interrupted sleep.” Emma shifted out of her bed at that point, facing the fact that sleep was way past gone now.

“Oh my god, did you have a guest last night?!” Ruby actually yelled that last part and Emma had to tear the phone from her ear before responding.

“Uh, no… why?”

“Oh shoot. Well I’m just trying to figure out why you’re so put out.” Emma laughed, not maliciously, but genuinely amused at her friend’s inability to see how problematic this all was.

“You mean other than the fact that I was having a great dream and -,”

“So I did interrupt!” Emma rolled her eyes at the innuendo.

“Ruby did you call for any reason other than the fact that you’re certifiable?”

“Okay I’m sorry. I thought I’d be helping, and I’m just a little excited about this article. I wanted to be absolutely sure you would be there on time.” That was the truth, Emma could hear it in her friend’s tone and it soothed something inside of her. Ruby might be slightly neurotic, but at least there was a reason for all of this.

“Right, well I’m up so I’ll just see you when I get there.”

“Wait! While I have you, I should probably just run a few things past you… in case I don’t have time later.”

Ruby proceeded to launch into a list of things that they all had going on today as Emma gathered her resolve and moved around her apartment. She wasn’t thrilled to be up so early, but at the same time she had to consider the silver linings – this morning she’d be seeing Killian again and tonight was their first date. Her dream might not have been true to life, but that was still something miraculous awaiting her today.

The idea sent a shiver of anticipation through Emma as she moved to her closet and realized that she hadn’t settled on an actual outfit last night but her dream had given her some great inspiration. She grabbed the sleek crimson dress she’d made for herself last spring and the heels she wanted, pulling them out so they’d be easy to find tonight before moving to what she could wear to work.

“Anyway I was thinking you should wear pink today.” Emma laughed into the phone. She’d missed a good amount of what Ruby has been saying about appointments and consults, caught as she was in her own musings on her date tonight, but this phone call just kept getting weirder and weirder.

“Why?” Emma could practically hear Ruby’s shrug through the receiver.

“I don’t know it just seems like one of those days. You know, when the world is all bright and happy and there’s all kind of possibility.” Emma barked out another laugh. This was trippy. She was hearing Ruby’s voice, but the words spoke to Mary Margaret’s mentality all the way. Was it opposite day or something? Maybe her friends were all assuming each other’s identities and no one had told her or something.

“Says the woman who has a signature color that she, quote, ‘would never abandon in any situation no matter how dire.’” And that devotion had been put to the test. In every situation Ruby found a way to wear red. Years of friendship had provided ample opportunity for to find something else, but she never did.

“Well I wasn’t talking about me, I was talking about you.”

“Right and my question is why? Since when do you care what I wear?”

Emma scanned through her closet, noticing now that there were a few nice pieces here in pink that she hadn’t worn in forever. It wouldn’t be the worst thing to go for something softer today. Actually it might be nice, since she was planning on something a heck of a lot bolder for her date tonight.

“I don’t. I just thought it might be nice.”

Emma chuckled. This was bizarre behavior from Ruby of all people, but she’d learned by this point that Ruby could be quirky that way. Sometimes she fixated on the weirdest details for no particular reason and since launching the store that had been happening more and more. Emma just chalked it up to Ruby having some sort of vision the rest of them couldn’t see, and so far that vision hadn’t steered them wrong. Emma wasn’t about to concede that to Ruby though. If she did she would never hear the end of it.

“How about I promise not to show up in a burlap sack?” Ruby harrumphed.

“Emma, you’re a brilliant designer. You’d never show up in something so awful.”

“My point exactly. Thus the ridiculousness of your suggestion that I somehow need fashion guidance.”

“Fine, you win. Wear whatever you want.” Emma bit back a smile at her friend’s fake prickliness, and she didn’t bother telling her that she was now considering a soft pink skirt to go with her cream colored top thanks to the unwarranted suggestion.

“If it makes you feel any better I’ll let you pick out my outfit for the day the photographers come for the story. I give you full rein over my color scheme.” Ruby stalled for a moment before caving.

“Deal. But if I choose chartreuse and salmon, don’t be surprised.”

This was an empty threat, Emma knew, meant to scare Emma because those were such horrendous shades. Ruby would never be so cruel and in the end she was getting what she wanted anyway. They said their goodbyes, knowing that in an hour they’d be seeing each other, and Emma went about trying to get herself in order but only seconds later a notification sounded from her phone.

Emma looked down to her screen, expecting it would be some sort of supplemental text from Ruby, but her heart skipped when she saw it was actually from Killian. She raced to open it, only to find that the news wasn’t great.

K: I’m terribly sorry, Swan. Something’s come up with work and I can’t get out of it. But I’m determined to get this story done and settled so that nothing and no one will impede our date tonight.

Emma appreciated his clear want for their date to get here too. She was really excited, even if the butterflies were threatening to eat her from the inside out. In fact, Emma had never been so enthusiastic about the prospect of a date before. It was nice, and knowing that Killian was equally as invested made her happiness stronger.

E: A story, huh? So does that mean you’re a writer?

K: At my core, I suppose, though usually other things end up taking precedent.

Emma could definitely relate to that. She considered herself an artist in her heart of hearts, a designer who worked to create beautiful things, but she had inherited all of these administrative and business-oriented duties since launching the business. It kept her from the part of the work that she was most passionate about, but those chances to flex her creative muscles held her over still. This was just one of the little sacrifices that came with more success.

K: Please tell me my affinity for the written word isn’t somehow a turn off. If it is, I’m not sure what my options are, but I would look into alternate skill sets to appease you, Swan.

She laughed at his self-deprecating jest because the reality was quite the opposite. So far she had yet to find a single thing about Killian that was a turn off.

E: No need to take up a new career just yet. I consider the whole ‘having a conversation beyond just emojis’ thing pretty hot. You don’t see much of that these days. Plus I’ve never dated a writer.

K: Well allow me to ruin you for all others, then.

Emma felt those words rushing through her. He probably meant ruin her for other writers, but she was beginning to suspect he might just change the game overall for men in general, verbally gifted or not. She’d never met a guy like Killian before, and if her initial reaction to him was anything to go off of, then her usual mentality that life was better without a man to drag her down was in serious jeopardy.

She ended up wishing him luck with his story and Emma agreed to see him on the train that evening (though he’d wait an hour before picking her up for their actual date). He also wouldn’t give anything away about where they were going, but Emma couldn’t seem to mind. She was usually averse to surprises but for some reason she felt like it wouldn’t be a terrible thing as long as Killian was behind it.

From there Emma moved quickly, getting ready for the day and making her train with plenty of time, but things took a bit of a turn when she walked into Bliss and she found all of her friends gossiping in the front. The fact that Elsa wasn’t slaving away in the kitchen was a dead giveaway that something was up, but Emma was completely certain when they all noticed her and immediate clammed up about whatever they were discussing.

“Oh, morning Emma! Don’t you look cute? Pink was a great choice.” Emma looked warily at Elsa and the comment on the color before thanking her friend.

“Is everything all right?” she asked the others.

“Of course, why wouldn’t it be?” Mary Margaret responded as Emma was offered a coffee and a scone that was simply to die for.

“You guys are acting weird.” Ruby looked from Emma to Mary Margaret and Elsa and stage whispered.

“Don’t mind her. Emma’s a little off because I called her early this morning. I interrupted a good dream if you know what I mean.” Emma rolled her eyes as Mary Margaret and Elsa giggled – truly giggled – and finally Emma had had enough. They were going to tell her what was up one way or another.

“Seriously, what is with you guys this morning? Did a Hemsworth brother pass by the front window or something? You all look like it’s your birthday and Christmas rolled into one.”

Elsa and Mary Margaret’s laughs were slightly too loud and a touch too high for Emma to be comforted at all, and her brow rose in silent questioning. Then when she turned to Ruby and saw the mischief in her best friend’s eyes she knew that whatever it was would likely be very bad for Emma.

“What did you guys do?” Emma asked bluntly and Ruby scoffed, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

“Oh please. Who said we did anything?”

Emma was about to respond that they were all terrible actors and that her personal ability to sniff out a lie from a mile away was shrieking at her like crazy, but right at that moment the bell over the door chimed and Emma watched as all her friends faced the door with nothing but raw appreciation and excitement in their eyes. This was getting weirder by the second, but just before she turned around Emma had this feeling of foreboding. She could practically taste whatever unexpected twist was coming but when her eyes saw the man standing in the doorway she froze and time stood still.

Because there, dressed in a startlingly similar way to how he’d looked in her dream last night was one Killian Jones. She had no idea why or how but he was here in her shop, looking at her in the same way he had in that fantasy (albeit with a little surprise as well), but there was no denying he was real, not when Ruby mumbled to herself from behind Emma.

“Hot foreign guy, indeed.” Elsa and Mary Margaret murmured their agreement but Emma couldn’t speak. In fact, all she could thing was: Oh shit!

……………

“Swan?”

His first instinct when seeing Emma in the shop Belle had sent him to was pure joy. It had been hard for him to stand the idea of missing her on the train, but in order to get everything that needed to be done finished in time for their date, he’d had to go in incredibly early to the office. Taking on this article for Belle was a strain on his other commitments, and he’d had to reason that it was better to miss those precious moments of their commute so that they could have a real first date where he was completely and totally involved.

After a few seconds, however, Killian began to worry. Why was Emma here? Bloody hell, what if she was planning her own wedding?!

A whole host of scenarios moved through his mind in the blink of an eye but he shook them away, knowing the panic was ridiculous. He didn’t know every detail of Emma’s life, but he knew with unfailing certainty that she wasn’t that kind of person. Emma Swan was honest and good, and she was a women he felt he could trust despite some bad jaunts with love years ago. She was slowly breathing life back into him and creating a belief that had long been missing from his world.

“Hey – I mean, um hi. What are you doing here?” Killian cleared his throat and filled her in, taking some comfort in the fact that she was likewise affected by this unexpected twist of fate.

“I’ve come for the story, love.”

Killian couldn’t help but find Emma’s range of emotions endearing. She was clearly surprised with the way her lips pursed into the telltale ‘o’ shape, and then he could see excitement brimming in those expressive eyes he was so fond of, but eventually that was covered up by frustration that was delivered to the three other women gathered there.

“What did you guys do? What happened to Belle?” One of the women tutted out a sound of disbelief to Emma and took her arm before turning her gaze to Killian and smiling.

“You’ll have to excuse Emma, Mr. Jones. I didn’t get the chance to tell her that you were taking over for Belle. I’m Ruby, general manager and PR czar of Bliss Boutique. That’s Mary Margaret our in house wedding planner, and Elsa our resident baker.”

“I prefer treat artisan. Belle said she’d put that in the article.” Killian chuckled at the woman with almost white blonde hair named Elsa’s request and nodded his greetings to all of them as the pieces fell into place for him.

“So that must make you Subject E.” Emma looked confused at his words and he clarified as he ran a hand through his hair. “Belle gave me a comprehensive set of notes – that did include your favored label by the way, Elsa – but your names were… substituted.”

“I’m sorry, I’m still like five steps back. You’re a journalist at Citizen NY?” Emma clarified, but Ruby filled in before he could answer her query.

“Emma, Killian, isn’t just a writer. He’s the editor-in-chief. Belle had some sort of last minute mix-up and Killian is stepping in. He’s really helping us all out.” Ruby’s praise made him out to be some kind of hero, when in reality his being here was coerced. Had there not been a risk of losing Belle from his staff, Killian might have denied her request. Now he was exceptionally glad that he hadn’t.

“Bull shit.”

Killian couldn’t help but chuckle at Emma’s response and Ruby’s feigned shock. He found himself wondering how often Emma cursed and if this was a normal experience for her with her friends and coworkers. The thought that her friends were meddlers made him smile until it dawned on him that perhaps they fancied themselves matchmakers and had put his Emma in the way of other men. Then he caught the way he was already thinking of Emma as his and silently urged himself to get a grip. Nothing was certain between them. Well nothing except that he was already half way in love with her.

“Emma, I don’t see what the problem is -,” Ruby began with continued politeness.

“The problem is that you all set up some elaborate plan to get Killian here. So how did you figure out who he was?”

Killian had long thought Emma the most beautiful woman he’d ever met, but he had to admit that seeing her all fired up like this made for an entirely new form of enticement. Her arms were crossed over her chest, her eyes expectant, and her tone barely reined in. It sharply contrasted the light pink of her skirt and the soft curls that she’d pulled back from her face today. He was transfixed and it eliminated any of the awkwardness he could have been feeling at what was obviously some sort of set up.

“Oh do you two know each other?” Mary Margaret added unconvincingly and Emma just stared at her friend before letting her arms fall in a sign of temporary defeat.

“Forget it. I’ll deal with you all later.”

Emma turned her attention back to Killian and he could see the faint trace of a blush on her cheeks. She was flustered and he couldn’t say he blamed her. She still managed to invite him back to her segment of the shop with grace though, and he applauded her ability to keep going. As they moved through the store and her show room back to her office, Killian admired all that she’d built here and the confidence that returned to her as she greeted her staff and maneuvered through the space.

“I am so sorry about that. I could tell you that they aren’t usually so crazy, but I have this thing about lying and…” Killian took Emma’s hand in his instinctively and her words trailed away as she closed her office door behind them. The spark between them was as strong as ever and he could see the sincerity in her green gaze.

“There’s no apology necessary, love. Besides, I think it’s rather clear that the conspiracy was concocted not only with your friends but mine as well. Trust that while you’ll be having a talking to with your partners later, I’ll be having a similar inquisition with one Belle French.”

Come to think of it, there was a good chance that Will and Tink were in on it too, for it had been his best friend and second in command who offered the idea of changing before this interview. He claimed a business suit would be too stuffy for an interview, and Killian found himself agreeing and throwing on a more casual outfit that Tink insisted she kept hidden in his office for emergencies.

Killian was pulled from his internal reveries when Emma smiled, clearly grateful for his assurances, and knowing that he’d granted her any kind of peace made Killian feel more accomplished than winning his first Pulitzer. All thoughts of a set up were erased, and he stood there feeling nothing short of ecstatic that he was being given the chance to spend this extra time with Emma.

“So should we still do this then?” Emma asked, the humor returning to her tone even as she assumed a purely professional manner.

Killian nodded and took a seat in the chair on the other side of Emma’s desk. He pulled out the file Belle had given him. The questions she’d put forward were of the basic garden variety. They asked about some more detail as to Emma’s start in the industry and why she’d chosen fashion as a whole. It was gratifying for Killian to hear her answers and to learn more about her, but he found himself disclosing things about himself along the way as well. He wanted to be entirely certain that Emma was comfortable and when queries breached more personal topics he tried to make her feel like things between them were still equal and not so one sided.

When Emma told him, for example, about how as a foster kid nice clothes hadn’t been an option he felt his heart constrict. He couldn’t imagine what it was like to bounce around from place to place without a family. He’d always had Liam and when he was very young his mother too. To go it alone like that and still make the best of a situation was truly inspiring.

And that was what Emma had done. She told him that though she didn’t have the money for finer garments, she did have paper and pencils and an imagination that allowed her to envision what she would want if things were different. In the end her lack of access fueled her imagination and her willingness to learn how to style and stitch her own clothes, which started her on the path to this career.

To relate in the only way he could, Killian told her about how he’d had a bit of a stutter as a kid and how it was always disheartening to feel judged for his struggle to communicate. Yet with the written word he’d found the answers. His mother always encouraged him, even after the stutter was long gone, and his love for writing had never faded, even if some people saw it as no longer necessary.

“But why journalism?” Emma asked, clearly forgetting that this was an interview about her. Still Killian indulged her, happy that she was even interested in knowing at all.

“Because the stories move fast enough for me. I like the idea that there’s always something more. Every day the stage resets. The world keeps turning on, and there’s no other medium where the goal is to chronicle all of that so acutely.”

Emma looked at him thoughtfully when he’d given his answer, and there was a silent sense of approval in her features. That easiness and appreciation fueled him to ask a question that wasn’t on the list, but one that he’d been wondering since the moment he discovered she was a designer and an artist.

“So what inspires you, love? Is it all your past or…?”

Emma shook her head and pulled something out of her top drawer in her desk. It was a flyer bearing the gallery opening details of a local artist, someone who went by the moniker ‘Street Rat.’ The photo featured on the flyer was brilliant with a young couple smiling at each other with nothing but love in their eyes, awash in swirling greens and blues. It was beautiful to be sure, but Killian was eager to hear Emma’s words about it.

“Sometimes it’s other people’s art. I try to go to showings as often as I can, but that’s been harder recently. I didn’t think I’d ever be getting recognized in this line of work, but it’s happening more and more and then I feel guilty, like I’ve pulled something from the artist on their night. But there’s still a million ways to find those feelings – a perfect song, a heart wrenching painting at the MOMA, French poetry that’s as morbidly exaggerated as it is romantic, you know, the usual love-filled, stereotypical stuff.” Killian chuckled and Emma joined him before continuing on.

“But most of the time it’s people themselves. I’ve gone all around this city and though sometimes it’s harder to see, there’s love and happiness everywhere. Every dress I design hopes to capture that feeling. Sometimes I’m more successful than others, but it’s all about emotion. Most of the time brides aren’t looking for the fairytale gown like they think. They’re searching for that feeling and there’s no better day to feel that than on your wedding day.”

“And what about you?” Emma blinked at him before tilting her head slightly.

“What about me?”

“Have you ever felt that way? Has the woman behind the apparel of love ever known that kind of happiness?” Emma looked down at her crossed hands on the desk for a beat before looking back up at him.

“I thought I had once. Now I’m not so sure.”

Emma answered his question honestly and Killian wanted more than anything to find out how deep those feelings had run. He’d tried his hand at love and lost, the wounds lingering for too long, but since meeting Emma they’d all but disappeared. It led him to believe that what he’d felt before wasn’t a love that was true. If this thing between him and Emma was already stronger then it must not have been. But could he possibly hope that Emma felt the same way? Or was he writing a story that wasn’t actually there?

Before he could ruin things by digging too deep, Killian pivoted away from the questions he most dearly wanted answers to and moved back to something safer: Emma and her clearly close relationship to her friends. She told him about how when they’d all met she’d been exceptionally closed off and yet underneath it all hope still lingered. Emma had been looking for a family her whole life and finally she learned that family came in many shapes and forms, and that at the end of the day all that mattered was that she found people to love and care about who would be on her side no matter what.

“I probably shouldn’t have said all that,” Emma said as she stood up from behind her desk when the interview was over, clearly distressed at how much she’d given away about her origins as a foster kid and the scars she carried from that time. Killian rose from his chair and moved forward, taking her hand in his again.

“I’m glad you did, love. Besides, all you have to do is say the word and I’ll retract anything from the record. You’re in charge here, Swan.”  Emma smiled genuinely at that.

“Why are you so nice?” Her question was blunt and slightly cynical but Killian had to laugh.

“Well it would hardly be right to mistreat a woman I admire, never mind one who I’ll be taking out on a long overdue date tonight.” Emma blushed but she pulled her hand back and Killian found himself missing the feel of her soft skin against his instantly.

“Right.... but everything’s changed now. We can’t do this anymore.” Fear struck his heart at those words. His initial reaction was to flash back to everything they’d said. Where had he taken a wrong turn? Had he pushed her too much and ruined his shot?

“And why is that?”

“Well isn’t it – I don’t know – unethical? You’re writing a story about me and my business, but we’re dating - or I mean we were going on a date. Doesn’t that cross some kind of line?”

Killian hadn’t thought of it that way, and some might argue Emma was right. A journalist was often thought of as someone who needed to be impartial, and he was hardly impartial when it came to Emma. In the past, Killian would have heeded such concerns, but he would be damned if he walked away from the start of this. Somehow being with Emma felt more important than these questions of right or wrong, probably because he’d never known anything as lovely as the way it felt to be with her.

“It might be a little unorthodox, but I’ve made a promise to Belle to take on this story. I can’t turn my back on that even if I believe she was wrapped up in the same scheme as your friends. But I also can’t imagine giving you up Emma, and I’m not sure about you but the thought of waiting even one day more to go out with you is impossible to imagine. Call me impatient, but time seems suddenly so much more precious than it ever has before. At least when it comes to you.”

“So you still want this?” Killian moved forward to cup her cheek and he watched the spark of attracting in her eyes when he did.

“I’ve never wanted anything as badly as I want a chance with you, Emma. The only question is, are you with me?”

Wordlessly Emma moved forward and simultaneously pulled him down towards her by the collar of his jacket. Their lips met in a kiss that right from the first moment blew everything else Killian had ever known out of the water. It took only a second for him to become addicted to the feel of Emma in his arms, her lips on his, her passion for life and him humming at the surface of her skin, close enough for him to touch and taste.

They were both lost to the intensity of it, and Killian felt Emma’s legs press back against her desk. He pictured spreading her out right there and continuing to please her but he held back, knowing that the first time he gave her that they’d have privacy and time. For now he lingered in this kiss, their first one and the best he’d ever known. It was sheer perfection, and the only failing of the moment was that it had to end. He’d have rather stayed like that, wrapped up in each other forever, but when she pulled back he followed her lead, unwilling to push her when she’d already given him everything.

“That was even better than I thought it would be. But…”

“But?” Killian asked, his own lack of breath evident as he whispered out the word.

“But maybe we should keep it off the record.”

Killian laughed at her teasing smile and tried to find words that weren’t so strong they’d scare her off. He loved that she’d thought of this kiss, and he hoped to show her that everything between them could be this glorious, if only they gave themselves the opportunity to try.

“As you wish, love. So I’ll see you tonight?” Emma agreed and he grinned, pressing one last soft kiss to her lips before taking his leave.

He ran into Ruby on the way out and noticed the woman’s appraising stare. She was clearly desperate to see if her plan had worked, but it wasn’t his place to say. He left that to Emma, and he only hoped that if she decided to tell her friends, she’d relay the earth-shattering nature to that kiss that Killian felt down to his bones. That feeling never left his person, not once he was out the door of Bliss Boutique and headed to his office, nor after hours of more mundane work for him to focus on.

“So how did it go?” Will asked from the doorway where he stood just beside Belle.

The question pulled Killian from reliving the memory that had fast become the best one he had. Still he sobered, leveling his best mate and a woman he was beginning to think of as a friend with a harsh look. The two of them had been avoiding him all day, but he knew of their involvement for sure now. He hadn’t even been at his desk thirty seconds when Tink told him all about it and admitted to her own share in the blame (or in her eyes the victory).

“You mean the set up that you all concocted with Emma’s friends, where you nearly ruined my chances with Emma because of ethical considerations even though we’d already made moves on our own?” Both Belle and Will went stark white and Killian was happy for it. It was clear Tink had kept her promise and not told them that it went well. This was good, for they should feel a bit of remorse for scheming against him even if it did pay off.

“Uh yeah, that one,” Will muttered. Killian considered letting them stew for a while longer but his poker face broke and he grinned, watching as they both heaved a sigh of relief.

“So you’re not mad?” Belle asked and Killian shook his head. There was absolutely no way that he could be mad or in any way regret this morning. That kiss and that chance to get closer to the heart of who Emma was so quickly was a gift, even if it was a sneakily planned tactic that could have ended this relationship before it began had it gone south.

“No, but let me make myself exceptionally clear. If either of you ever pulls something like this again -,”

“You’ll buy a big fancy boat just to make us walk the plank in shark infested waters?” Killian smirked at Will’s random image, and he wondered if modern vessels came bearing a plank, but it seemed a fitting threat.

“Aye. Are we understood?” They agreed and Killian dismissed them both, needing to check on one last thing.

“Tink, where are we at on that change of plans for tonight?” He asked into the intercom and immediately got a reply from his eager assistant.

“Everything’s arranged as you requested, Boss, and I only had to promise three vital organs to secure it. One from me and two from you.”

Killian chuckled and thanked Tink, thinking again how glad he was that he had insisted on surprising Emma with their date because it made this change of plans possible. He’d had a pleasant evening designed before, but with the added insight of their interview, he believed he now had the perfect night lined up. Now all he had to do was wait and hope that he was right and that he’d be successful in giving Emma the best first date she’d ever had so that it might also be her last.

Post-Note: So I know that a lot of you were looking forward to the date, however, I feel very strongly that the first date deserves an entire chapter to itself. So, in the name of uniformity, I have split this chapter up from the date. As it was this was already longer than most of my other chapters so with a date involved it would have been so much longer. No worries, I am planning to get the next chapter out in the coming days so it is on its way and I think you guys will be pleased with it. Let me know what you guys think, and as always thank you so so much for reading!

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CONGRATULATIONS MISS. GOMEZ AWESOME OPENNING

Deepest In My Heart*Turn My Head In-Love Instead

REPORTED: SELENA GOMEZ DEPARTED TO THE AMAs!

UNIAGOS INTERNATIONAL-s.p.a.r.k

WELCOMES GORGEOUS & TALENTED

THE SELENA GOMEZ SuperStar....TO THE AMAs RED CARPET.

DRESSED IN A BEAUTIFUL LIME GREEN...OH LOOKING SO MEAN!

*Love Trying To Locate Editable Post I Created For Frozen-Gracie-Selena & Add Present Project. OMG I Can't Find Editable Post. YES Found one I Feel Good Enough!

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UPDATE

TO: TCI OF NEW YORK & GALLERY

ATT: REV. FUKUI & MS. FUKUI Principle Director

TO: I-KUAN TAO TEMPLE

ATT: TEACHER CHANG

WHEN I FIRST MET MIKE MECHANIC CAUCASION ELDERLY.

MIKE HAD A BLACK EYE...PRETTY BAD. A REAL PROFESSIONAL COMMERCIAL TRUCK MECHANIC SHOP. LEAF SPRINGS NEW & USED IN STOCK, & A PILE OF USED OUTSIDE! I SHOULD OF HAD KNOWN WHEN I SAW THE WARNING SIGNS: THE OFFICE IS ABANDONED & SO DISARRAY IS SCARY & NASTY! THERE'S NO OFFICE THUS NO OFFICE WORKER & MIKE NEVER BOTHERED TO GIVE ME A $500 RECEIPT. & I WOULDN'T KNOW WHERE THE RECEIPT WOULD COME FROM?? WHAT A Fxxxxxx MESS OF A NASTY OFFICE!

THE iPAD $800 MIKE MECHANIC STILL HAS MY

iPAD 6th GENERATION 128GB GOLD

NEW IN THE BOX

2-FRONT NEW IN THE BOX KYB SHOCK $75

2-REAR NEW IN THE BOX AIR SHOCKS & LEVEL CONTROL $65

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TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

TO: MY DEAR, MI CONTESSA

THE SELENA GOMEZ SuperStar

Exe-Producer*Songstress*Activist*Actress

My love, Deepest In My Heart*Turn My Head In-Love Instead.

DEAR: MISS. SWIFT & MR. BRAUN...OMG!

WHAT'S THIS NEWS REPORT ABOUT BRAUN & YOU & FAMILY THREATS!! OH COME ON DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S TOO MUCH ABOUT SOMETHING SO SIMPLY RESOLVED IT'S CALLED BUSINESS "NEGOTIATIONS ON THE TABLE!" WTF!

OH PLEASE THE NERVE WITH YOU GUYS!!

THE AMAs:

THE SECRET OF NEGOTIATIONS YOU GOT TO KNOW WHAT TO PUT ON THE TABLE.

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OR YOU COULD USE THE ABOVE PICTURE FOR ALBUM FRONT TO PROMOTE

"TURN MY HEAD IN-LOVE INSTEAD" AND THERE'S STILL A CHANCE YOU LYING TO THE PUBLIC TO SURPRISE THE PUBLIC. TO THEN RELEASING:

"GUSTO & GOMEZ WAY GALAXY" ALBUM IDEA:

HOLOGRAM OF GOMEZ,

XXXXXXSXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXLXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXNXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXAXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXGXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXMXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXZ-SuperstarXXXXANDXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXGXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXUXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXSXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXTXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXO-Ex-Classic DJ.

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**************************FAMILY AFFAIR******************

FEBRUARY 2017....OH YES I WAS BACK HOME ALREADY. RETURNED SEPT. 2016. BRONX NY & RV PARKED FRONT OF FAMILY TAINO CON CARINO' AUTOPARTS BUSINESS...CHAOS! LATE GRANDPA DAVID SANTIAGO SR. SAID: AFTER I ASKED "DO WE HAVE PLANS TO USE THE BANK VAULT??" SANTIAGO SR. SAID CONFIRMING WHAT SOLY YOUNGEST SON SAID "NO REY, ONLY FOR HIGH TECH & EXPENSIVE PARTS & ELECTRONICS, AND VAULT STAYS CAUSE IT COST HALF A MILLION DOLLARS TO DISMANTLE THE STEEL & CONSTRUCTION!"

I CLOSED THE Fxxxxxx STORE PERMANENTLY. WHAT! AFTER 10+++-YEARS RELOCATED FOR UNIVERSITY, 4-YEARS FLUSHING CHAOS, TBI REHABILITATION, RELIGIOUS STUDIES, & TRAVEL. I'D TO RETURN TO ABANDONED BUSINESS & START WORKING MY ASS OFF, TO BRING IT BACK TO A DECENT ADMINISTRATION & COMPUTER DATA CONDITION & NOT TO MENTION THE MAINTENANCE IT REQUIRED. SO BAD, I TESTED BALO-BIG BROTHER: I STARTED DOING THINGS, LIKE CLEANING CUSTOMER COUNTER COMPUTER'S YEARS OF DATA GARBAGE. ONLY SO I CAN LAUGH ALL DAY TO MYSELF OUT-LOUD & IRRITATE BALO CAUSE NOW CUSTOMERS WERE COMING IN/OUT REAL QUICK!!! AND THEN I STARTED SWEEPING UNDER CUSTOMER FRONT COUNTER RUBBER MAT. THE DUST Fxxxxxx SAND STORM & HOLLY SHIT...CAN YOU BELIEVE IT BALO HAD SMILE EAR TO EAR. REALLY Fxxxxxx THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO GET BUSY FOR A MIRACLE HE PRAYED FOR YEARS...NOW CAME BACK!! GET THE Fxxx OUT OF HERE!! THEN WANTED ME TO FULLY ACTIVATE MAIN OFFICE--GIVING ME BACK 15-YEAR OLD FILES VOID, CANCELED OUT OF Fxxxxxx DATE 15-Fxxxxxx YEARS!! I Fxxxxxx CLOSED THE BUSINESS...YEAH LOSING ABOUT $100,000.00+++ DOLLARS YEARLY...HEY IT'S A Fxxxxxx HISTORICAL LANDMARK BANK & MOVIE LOCATION...YOU DO THE Fxxxxxx MATH!! AND SOLY VISIT ME AT THE BANK WITH 2-MILLION DOLLAR CEMENT MIXER: NOT A BABY ANY MORE, HELL NO! DRIVING AROUND 5-BOROUGHS WITH A Fxxxxxx 2-MILLION DOLLAR CONSTRUCTION CEMENT MIXER LIKE IT'S A Fxxxxxx SPORTS CAR!! SOLY SAID "HEY REY, I'M BUSY NOW BUT SOON I'LL DRIVE YOU AROUND TOWN"--WHILE I'M LOOKING UP AT THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING--BUT BALO CAN HANDLE IT!

THE Fxxxxxx NERVES!

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LADIES & GENTLEMEN......THE WEEKND

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TO: THE SELENA GOMEZ Superstar

Exe-Producer*Songstress*Activist*Actress

GOOD MORNING*GOOD NIGHT

MY LOVE, DEEPEST IN MY HEART

GOOD MORNING MI CONTESSA

MY LOVE, DEEPEST IN MY HEART.

*****SG2 PRE-INTRODUCTION****

*****GUSTO & GOMEZ WAY*GALAXY*****

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT....I'LL ADMIT IT!

I KNOW I KNOW

"TURN MY HEAD IN-LOVE INSTEAD."

THE CREATION OF 21st CENTURY MUSIC MASTER PIECE.

RED STORM BABY!

TODAY WEARING MY ST. JOHN'S UNIVERSITY WINTER RED SWEAT HOODED SET.

THE BILL & MELINDA GATES FOUNDATION

GATCHAMAN

UNIAGOS SPACE STATION

UNIAGOS INTERNATIONAL-s.p.a.r.k 1st LEISURECRAFT RV MOBILE COMMAND CENTER NATIONAL PROMOTION TOUR.

HANDLE: GUSTO-#1

DRAFTOP

GUSTO WATCHES

DEGUSTOREYLIUS VIOLINS

****SG2 PRE-INTRODUCTION****

***GUSTO & GOMEZ WAY*GALAXY***

*******************************************

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

I HEREBY ASSIGN THE SELENA GOMEZ-Superstar AS MY LITERARY AGENT & FULL POWER OF ATTORNEY. TO REPRESENT, NEGOTIATE, AND CONTRACT ALL AND ANY OF MY WRITTEN WORK ON ALL SOCIAL MEDIAS AND OR ANY OUTSIDE SOURCE THAT MAY EXIST.

TODAY, I HEREBY COMMENCE AND AUTHORIZE THE SELENA GOMEZ-Superstar AS MY LITERARY AGENT.

ON THIS DAY

11/19/2019

REYLGUSTOGOMEZS_Gramarvelouise

aka..REYL GUSTO Ex-Classic DJ

The One/Only*The Reyl McCoy

No Hatfields*No Toy*Now Big Boy!

917-963-7318 Main# Off

646-881-7418 On

LinkedIn/In/PubRLAFoundationTreatise2007

TENRI.org

UniagosFoundation@hotmail.com

Dr. Lotus K. Weiss Ph.D

Please Donate For The Children &

CHARTER SCHOOL. Thank You!

TheWholeElephant

347-822-5637 Main#

646-707-6554 Nonprofit TWEI

646-707-8346 "

REYL GUSTO RECORDING STUDIOS

*******************************************

SELENA GOMEZ RECORDING studios

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TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

The PHILOSOPHY of God, purity, righteousness, compassion, truthfulness, and forbearance-tolerance equates HAPPINESS in the BEGINNING. Thus, it's not about convincing to become orthodox or to become a follower, but to help men escape CONFUSION by the study of God's given tribulations via a religion-to find Happiness from The BEGINNING. If and when one religious philosophy can not give SPIRITUAL mental peace then, one must continue on the path in the search for enlightenment. Until one finds conformity that compliments with one's character. However, humanity is born fix with Character Flaw, in sin called made of flesh, thus death is absolute which is why we seek guidance, because of flesh of sin bears Confusion. This is generally the issues many are confused about. You must choose the maze religious choices in life. THENCE, how technical, simple, or how fast you find or get out of the maze of life is the religious quest, it is what we all seek-ending Confusion. Nevertheless, what puzzle parishioners is but a piece of the puzzle you fit in that compliments your BORN-FIX-CHARACTERISTIC-PHILOSOPHICAL views in religion. More so, is dependent where your family are settled, but PHILOSOPHY experiences is built, grows like branches on a tree, you can not have one without the other. However, to end confusion you must stand firmly rooted..the trunk of a tree...knots on a tree are tribulations to a way of life...choices, which is what you give your family...children's philosophical religious views. When the path or study of a philosophical religious life is but short then is only a one page story. Therefore, a boring tree made of no branches thus not worth looking at. God Will Agree Sometimes God Opens The Book Of Life And Is Disappointed. Forever, remember this, God's Philosophy, Path, Experiences, Branches Is The COSMOS, A TRUNK, and God's Experiences Never Ending. Expands More Branches Never Ending But Firmly Rooted, God's Knots Are You And I.

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c.2014 ST. JOHN'S UNIVERSITY STUDY CONDO ADDRESS:

MAIN ST. FLUSHING QUEENS NY 11355

c.1980 TO c.1999 LATE OLDER BROTHER-1999

JOSE' AGOSTO-Joe (Wife Josephine) SuperChef--Frequent--INTERNATIONAL & O'DEON RESTAURANT TRIBECA NY NY. UNDERGROUND MY PRIVATE ROMPER ROOM.

*******************************************

PLEASE GRACIE DID SELENA PUNISH ME...PLEASE TELL ME?? PLEASE GRACIE, TELL YOUR SISTER I'M NOT SEEING, TEXTING, OR ANY RAPPORT WITH ANY OTHER WOMAN.

HEY WHERE'S MY KISS!! GOOD NIGHT CRUEL WORLD!

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

TO: MI CONTESSA

SELENA GOMEZ & DEAR GRACIE

MY 2-LOVES DEEPEST IN MY HEART.

**************************STARSTRUCK*************************

MY BEAUTIFUL GRACEFUL LEADING LADIES! MY LOVE, GRACIE & YOU GRACED THE FROZEN PREMIERE TWO SHOOTING STARS FALLING FROM HEAVEN STAR STRUCK-SENT LOVE & SAVIOR FROM UP ABOVE-MYSTERIOUS CAVE GLOWING UP SHOWING THE WAY-HOWLING WINDS PUSH BOTH IN BLIND & COLD & STILL SO BOLD-ENTERING A FROZEN CAVE SO WELL BEHAVED & BRAVE-SHIVERING IN DARKNESS PRAYING FOR LIGHT SLOWLY SEEING THE GLOW WAVING COME FOLLOW THE GLIMMERING LIGHT-BOTH OUR SIGHTS FELL UPON A CHAMBER MADE OF GOLD & FULL OF TREASURES BEYOND IMAGINE NOT EVEN THE TWILIGHT ZONE-FINDING REYL GUSTO ON A SLAB OF ICY COLD METEORITE SLOWLY APPROACHING & MORE FREEZING COLD LOOKING DOWN AT ICY BONES-EVERY STEP GRACIE & I TOOK BEGGED US TO STOP & QUIT THE MADNESS FEELING OLD MAN WINTER-A GLANCE ALL ICE MIRRORED UPON OUR TERRIFIED FIRST SIGHT- GRACIE & I AWED OF MY BEAUTIFUL FEATURES BEYOND COMPARISON-SKIN TONE APPEARING LIGHT REDDISH BROWN CLAY SHIMMERING GLITTER UPON OUR SECOND SIGHT- DRESSED IN THE FINEST THREADS & INCREDIBLE DETAILS DESIGN- UPON MY CHEST LARGE "G" CAN ONLY BE & MEAN 'G' FOR "GUSTO" ONE/ONLY GRACIE SILENTLY SAID-LOOKING UP TO THE AMAZED BLANKED FACE CONTESSA NO WORDS TO EXPRESS THEN ABRUPTLY SAID "YES REYL GUSTO CAN IT TRULY BE REALLY BE GUSTO-FINDING REYL GUSTO LEAST TO MENTION- THE CAVE FILLED CURIOSITIES & TREASURES AMAZING-ONE DETAIL GRACIE & I TRULY FOREVER REMEMBER TWO RINGS ON GUSTO'S FOREHEAD BRILLIANTLY DESIGNED & STRANGE RUBIES WE'VE NEVER SEEN.

FINDING ME LEAST TO MENTION

THE ONE/ONLY

THE REYL GUSTO

THE REYL McCOY-NO HATFIELDS-NO TOY

REY L. AGOSTO C.shl

aka..REYL GUSTO Ex-Classic DJ

FROZEN INSIDE INCASED IN A HUGE BLOCK OF ICY METEORITE. ALONG SIDE GLOWING SCROLLS & REDDISH & WHITE MANE & HAIRY HOOVES GALLANT HORSES. GARNISHED DIAMONDS PEARLS & JEWELS OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN AFTER A MILLENNIUM. STAR STRUCK!

CONTESSA: OMG, HEY GRACIE WAKE-UP!! GRACIE: WHAT HAPPENED? CONTESSA: YOU DAZED OUT FOR MINUTE OR SO GRACIE: I DID I DON'T KNOW WHY? CONTESSA: I DON'T KNOW NEITHER BUT WE BETTER VISIT THE DOCTOR SOON AND HERE'S YOUR STAR BUCKS COFFEE. JUST HOW YOU LIKE IT....SPARKLE OF PUMPKIN SPICE ORANGE & WITH GOMEZ & GUSTO REDDISH BROWN CREAM GRACIE: OH YEAH I REMEMBER I ORDERED THAT! HEY SELENA WHERE'S THE FREEZY ICY COLD SUGAR COATING & THE METEORITE-CHOCO-WAVE-GLIMMER-LIGHT CAKE & STRANGE RUBIES PIE & 2-RINGS ON FOREHEAD FRIES? CONTESSA: NO SUCH THING ON THE MENU WE IN STAR BUCKS GRACIE STOP PLAYING MAKING ME NERVOUS? GRACIE: YOU SURE THAT'S STRANGE. SELENA WHY DO I FEEL I'M IN A GLOWING CAVE & SO BRAVE TODAY? CONTESSA: OH YEAH WE DEFINITELY SEEING THE DOCTOR! GRACIE: SELENA WHERE DID WE PARKED THE HAIRY HOOVES GALLANT HORSES? CONTESSA: "O.K THAT'S IT" GRABBED GRACIE IN HER BOSSOM & DASHED OUT THE DOOR! "YOUR DOCTOR STARSTRUCK GOING TO GET A KICK OUT OF THIS ONE...FOR SURE!"

GOD BLESS-GOD THE PARENT.

REYLGUSTOGOMEZ_GRAMARVELOUISE

OMG..5:.05.AM! GOOD NIGHT GRACIE-CONTESSA.

2 DEEPEST IN MY HEART!

HI GRACIE, MI CONTESSA, 2-DEEPEST IN MY HEART.

I MISS POSTING YOU BOTH SO MUCH!

I'VE BEEN SO BUSY IN ROYAL FLUSHING QUEENS NY.

GOOD NIGHT GRACIE*CONTESSA DEEPEST IN MY HEART!LATER WATCHING NETFLIX. RELAX & CALM DOWN! LOLHA

GOOD NIGHT MI CONTESSA MY LOVE DEEPEST IN MY HEART.

[nolimitsongrace]

Speak the Desired End Result

Need a breakthrough in your finances, health, or family? Check out Kenneth Copeland’s Six I’s of Faith for Supernatural Breakthrough!

READING TIME: 8 MINUTES

Are you standing in faith for finances, healing, a spouse, children, a ministry or anything else? If so, you already know this: Standing in faith isn’t for the faint of heart. God knows receiving supernatural breakthroughs will test your resolve—that’s why He tells us to break out the spiritual armor, use His authority without abandon, and persevere until we break through to victory. Think about it.

Those are battle terms.

Praise God, it’s a battle Jesus has already won! We’re just claiming the victory and protecting the spoils from the enemy (who didn’t seem to get the memo that he lost!).

Kenneth Copeland has outlined a special tactic he and Gloria use in their battle strategy to get results. Whatever you’re going after in the spirit realm, here are some secrets for seeing a manifestation in your finances, health, relationships or any other area of promise. Here is how to use Kenneth Copeland’s six I’s of faith to get your supernatural breakthrough.

1. I Believe“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” –Mark 11:24 (NIV)

The first of the six I’s of faith for supernatural breakthrough is: I believe. This is a declaration of faith, and it comes from the heart—or spirit—of the born-again believer. It’s one Kenneth says you can’t do without.

Should you say “I believe” before you really believe? Yes! We call things that be not as though they were, right? But ultimately, your goal should be to build and develop your faith to a place of believing what God says above what your circumstances say—even if those circumstances are screaming at the top of their lungs.

When do you believe it?

Before it comes to pass. That’s real faith. “I’ll believe it when I see it” is nothing more than skepticism fueled by doubt. That’s dangerous because a double-minded man receives nothing from God (James 1:7-8); so don’t say you believe, then turn and talk the problem or the absence of the solution. Put your hand right over your mouth if you have to!

When you start hearing Satan whisper at you, “You’ll never get what you want. It’s too late. Just accept things as they are,” that’s when you turn the tables on him. That’s what Jesus did when He was tempted in the wilderness, and the devil took off pretty quickly.

Jesus took authority over the devil and over His situation by speaking the Word. That’s what you need to do, too, when you need a supernatural breakthrough. Whatever you’re believing for, if it is in God’s Word, you have the answer. Speak it out!

The more you do, the more you’ll be able to say with complete confidence—“I believe.”

Watch Kenneth and Gloria Copeland teach you how to start believing when you pray.

2. I Will“If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land.” –Isaiah 1:19 (ESV)

Believing is only the beginning. To get your supernatural breakthrough, you also need to make a decision and say the second I of faith, I will. This declaration brings your will in line with your faith. It’s deciding to take a stand to break through every hindrance—and win.

When you say, “I will,” you’re saying, “I will have faith in God. I will believe His Word. I will pursue faith and receive every promise He has for me. I will refuse to give up until I see my supernatural breakthrough.”

It’s the epitome of a willing heart. That may sound simple, but so many Christians aren’t willing to do what it takes to receive by faith. They’d rather blame God for whatever is wrong or missing—saying, “Well, it must not be God’s will.”

Not so!

He created us for fellowship with Him—for relationship. And a healthy relationship can’t exist without free will. That means we have a part to play in it. Everything that happens is not necessarily God’s will; otherwise, everyone on the planet would be saved. God doesn’t want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent (2 Peter 3:9).

When you’re willing to do what it takes to activate your faith—you will have what you’re standing for.

Are you willing?

Are you willing to renew your mind continually with the Word of God? Are you willing to leave behind old habits and anything that hinders you? Are you willing to seek counsel from mature believers and then receive what they say, rather than reject it? Are you willing to make adjustments in your thinking and living?

If so, say, “I will.”

3. I Take It“Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” –Mark 11:24 (NIV)

You believe and you have a willing heart. Now, it’s time to take your first action step with the third I of faith: I take it. Mark 11:24 tells us that when we pray, we should expect to receive. But some Christians pray, believe and then kick back in their recliners waiting for the manifestation to drop in their laps. That’s not what Jesus is telling us to do.

If we zoom in on one word in this verse, we find an important clue.

The Greek word translated receive in Mark 11:24 is lambano, which means “to take with the hand, lay hold of,” or “to take in order to carry away.” You can take faith because Jesus is offering it to you! And you use that faith to take those things you know are yours according to His Word.

Learn A Foolproof Strategy for Developing Fearless Faith HERE.

For example, faith will heal your body. It will straighten out your children. It will cause your finances to flourish. Faith will remove limitations and conquer anything the world can throw at you because, as 1 John 5:4 says, “This is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith” (KJV).

It’s no wonder God said:

A righteous person will live by faith (Hebrews 10:38).

Have faith in God [constantly] (Mark 11:22, AMP).

It is impossible to please God without faith (Hebrews 11:6).

As far as God is concerned, faith isn’t an a la carte situation—it’s all or nothing.

Why? Because we don’t receive as He wants us to without faith…and our receiving is extremely important to Him! After all, He sent Jesus to the cross to take upon Himself the whole curse—every sickness, every disease, all poverty and every other kind of defeat—so that we could be BLESSED.

He paid the price of His own blood to purchase our salvation, our deliverance, our healing and our prosperity. He sacrificed His own Son to provide us with abundant life—and the only way for us to fully receive it is by faith!

So, anyone can just “leave it up to God,” but they will miss out on a lot because that’s not the way He designed things to work. As one preacher says, “We can’t leave up to God what He has left up to us.” And He gave us the responsibility of receiving His BLESSINGS by faith. When you see a promise in the Word, don’t hesitate; contend for your supernatural breakthrough, and say, “I take it!”

4. I Have It“Whoever…does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is going to happen, it will be granted him.” –Mark 11:23 (NASB)

Once you take it in the spirit realm, you won’t see it in the natural realm yet. That’s what this next I of faith, I have it, is all about. It’s the power of have. That’s what you’re seeking, isn’t it? To have the things you need and desire. The definition of the English word have is “to possess, to own.” That’s easy to understand in the natural: When you hold the deed to some property in your hand—you really know you have it!

It becomes something entirely different when you need to have something by faith. That’s why you’ve got to be so careful about what you say you have. Mark 11:23 says you’ll have what you say. What are you saying? Consider some of these common errors in speaking:

“I have a cold.”

“We’re having financial trouble.”

“I’ll never have a strong marriage.”

“I have crazy, rebellious children.”

If you find yourself saying these things, why are you talking like that? Your words can get you into a lot of trouble by canceling out the will and testament of the Lord Jesus Christ that makes you an heir to His promises.

Instead, say these things:

“I don’t have sickness. Sickness is part of the curse, and Jesus has redeemed me. I have healing.”

“I have provision and financial blessing.”

“I have good health.”

“I have strong relationships.”

“I have children who love and honor the Lord.”

Whatever supernatural breakthrough you need, whatever you’re believing for—say it out loud—“I have it!”

Once you believe, don’t toil for it—stand in faith with these 5 Ways to Let THE BLESSING Do the Work.

5. I Thank You for It“By prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” –Philippians 4:6 (NIV)

The next I of faith for supernatural breakthrough is: I thank You for it!

Think about this: When we pray, we come into God’s presence. But when we praise, He comes into ours!

Kenneth Copeland has said it time and again: “Praise is the big gun of faith.” In so many cases, personal praise is the missing element to crossing from believing to receiving. If you’re believing for healing, once you go through the healing scriptures in the Old and New Testaments, begin to praise and thank our heavenly Father who sent Jesus to the cross. Praise Him for healing you!

“Oh, thank You, Jesus, for bearing my sins in Your own body on the tree. By Your stripes I was, and I am, healed!”

Praise Him! Thank Him! When you can’t sleep because of pain, praise Him. When you start to worry about finances, praise Him. When you’re facing the pain of loneliness or the desire for family, praise Him.

In that place of praise and worship, great victories are won.

You don’t have to stand alone! Kenneth and Gloria Copeland stand in faith with their Partners for breakthrough every day. Join this powerful bunch HERE!

Faith is the victory that overcomes the world. And praise is the greatest demonstration of that faith!

6. I Forgive“Faith…worketh by love” –Galatians 5:6 (KJV)

The last I of faith for supernatural breakthrough is: I forgive. This declaration is listed last but is the most important of all. In fact, the five other I’s of faith are dependent on it. That’s because faith will not work in an unforgiving heart.

Here’s why:

Unforgiveness blocks your own forgiveness (Mark 11:25).

Unforgiveness takes you out of the love walk. (Faith won’t work without love.)

Unforgiveness is a prayer blocker.

Unforgiveness is disobedience.

If you said right off, “I don’t have anyone to forgive,” it’s a sure sign you do. No matter where you are in life, it takes time to stop, think and ask the Lord to bring to your remembrance anyone you have anything against. It isn’t always some colossal offense. It could be as simple as a remark the checker at the grocery store made. It could even be that you haven’t forgiven yourself. (That counts, too!)

The devil will try to keep you in unforgiveness so you will continue going ’round and ’round the same mountain WITHOUT YOUR BLESSING. Don’t let him get away with it! Forgive—quickly—and watch how fast your supernatural breakthrough appears.

For more faith-building tips, see The 7 Habits of Strong Christians HERE.

That, friend, is how to use Kenneth Copeland’s 6 I’s of faith to get your supernatural breakthrough—one you may have been believing for weeks, months, years or even decades. When Jesus offers you something—any promise you find in His Word—your response should always be the same: I believe. I will. I take it. I have it. I praise You for it, and I forgive. That’s faith. It’s the victory that overcomes the world!

Tell us in the comments below…What are you standing for today? How can you put these six I’s of faith into practice for your supernatural breakthrough?

Watch Kenneth Copeland teach you why it’s crucial that you only speak the desired end result here.

[howsyourcoffeechadkroeger]

Pure Natural Healing Review

Pure Natural Healing Review

Pure Natural Healing Review

Pure Natural Healing Review

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6K2rXU-0lms

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETxLVMCSQaE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1qr0XMnNug

This is one of those revolutionary product that come once during a while and they modify the game for everyone forever. This is often a brand new product that has had the consumer reviews abuzz with praises and more and a lot of people trying it out daily. You will find that there is a lot of to it than meets the eye. This is often the simplest factor that is going on to the planet of individuals who are trying to get match and get in god health at the same time whereas creating sure that what they are doing isn't harmful to them. This can be not a supplement however is of course a totally different and whole new methodology that works by using the body’s meridian system and acupuncture strategies to resolve the problems that you'll facing your body. You will not would like to use medications, juices or maybe drugs of any kind. All you have got to try to to is understand the way to unlock your body’s energy and acquire it flowing at some stage in so that you'll get within the zone where you're not at risk of being blocked or betrayed by your own body as a result of apparently, it's locked from being efficient. What is Pure Natural Healing? This is often the dream product that almost all people are trying for and now we have it here with us. It will make the cysts disappear, the injuries can heal and the body will do things that you never knew it might do. This can be the miracle that has been brought about by the so aptly named Pure Natural Healing method that promises to do thus abundant more than the remainder. The program can take the pressure points that are in your body and then use them to form the body work as it is presupposed to by applying the right quantity of pressure on them. It is a step that is beyond the acupuncture methods that sometimes fail to figure. The Developers It's imperative that you know who made the program before you start using it as a result of you need to make sure that the items you are taking to use are actually helpful and that the people who created them grasp what they're doing. That manner, you may be in a position to create the choices that matter before you even think about using these. a man receiving skin treatment The people who developed this program are specialists in the sphere and their names are Master Lim and Kevin Richardson. These things that are written concerning and talked concerning in the program in all its forms are taken from techniques that have been in use for long but are largely ignored by the planet of recent medicine. These techniques are explored by the developers of this program who have done what they will to make positive that the program has been fully developed and that method, you may be in a position to induce it all without missing something. As way as analysis and authenticity goes, the content during this one qualifies. A Sneak Peek into the PDF eBook The program has been designed to include into itself, a selection of the ancient techniques that focus on the meridian therapy and acupressure that is an ancient technique that unlocks the body and makes everything higher once you're done. That is the essence that produces up the lifetime of this program. The instructions that have been included within the videos can show what the PDF eBooks have explained and then you will be within the clear once you have viewed the means that the program is designed. It is all very clear within the manner that they ask for to elucidate all that you wish to know concerning and also the thing that really matter. The Chinese techniques that apply in the globe of acupressure will be featured heavily and therefore the approach that they work can be explained so that you can do that alone without any drawback. The negative dams that block the energy in your body that is supposed to form you better will be identified simply and that method, you'll be sure of that drawback without any glitches. a flower lying on a bottle with herbs Meridian Therapy This is the main target that the program can be detailing and using in creating the reversals of energy that you may want to form certain that the disease that make you unhealthy are taken care of without any drawback. This can be the new advancement that we have a tendency to are borrowing from the ancestors and the creators have proved that it actually works. The natural healing style has been around for long but people are disproving and that they think that the ides of the body healing itself and getting rid some of the ailments is complete hogwash. However, there are studies that have conclusively shown that the body can indeed do this. There are alternative fields that are included in the discipline and they are all very viable in the method that it works and they can all be included within the PDF eBooks that will then be utilized by you to create the body better. These will embrace different medication, oil therapy, herbology and food therapy which when combined can have a very great effect on the body of a human. herbs, mortar and pistle and bottles with a yellow substance Final Verdict As we have a tendency to return to the top of this review, I would love to point out that the program indeed will work and that there's nothing wrong with attempting this the traditional way. You may realize that the benefits are therefore several and that the things we have a tendency to have been ignoring in search of recent medication hold thus much additional that we tend to recognize nothing about. This is often the entire package in all its glory. Get the entire program and then relish the benefits that come out of it. >>> Don’t Miss It – Click Here Currently – See The Special Worth! <<< Pros • With this method, you'll finally be ready to defeat the scourge of insomnia and sleeplessness as a result of the body will be in an exceedingly relaxed state and you may not have to struggle therefore abundant with what you would like to try and do. • The aches that are caused by the back, the muscles and different components of the body will be reduced and with time alleviated as a result of some of them are not even real but are as a results of blockage. • You will be able to reverse minor but life threatening diseases that will kill you if left to merely work your body. This is the best use of this sort of medication thus so much. • The books and the full program are arranged so that you may haven't any hassle following through with the whole thing. Therefore, do not concern that you'll experience complexities. • The authors are experts in the field that are used in the creating of the meridian therapy sessions that you may be using. That is probably why the reviews about the books and the entire program have nice things to say. • The whole program has targeted on the content price and zip else. This ensures that you will get the whole thing on video, audio and in print to form sure that you miss nothing. Cons • Most people claim that the drugs that's practiced using these ways isn't the simplest and that you'll want a lot of more. Whereas this is true, the price of this discipline can not be underrated. Summary: This is often the dream product that almost all individuals are wanting for and currently we have a tendency to have it here with us. It will create the cysts disappear, the wounds can heal and also the body will do things that you just never knew it could do. This is the miracle that has been led to by the so aptly named Pure Natural Healing methodology that guarantees to do therefore much a lot of than the remainder.