#but gosh sidri refuses to carry on a legacy of a home without laughter and a family without love she works OVERTIME to break that cycle

[martyrmarked]

How is her relationship with her Ostwick family after the events of Inquisition and specifically trespasser? Did she cut contact completely? Some family members that are still out there?

skells my angel thank you for asking this tricky but important question!! after her brother was taken to the circle, and made tranquil a few years thereafter, what was never a particularly warm relationship with her parents just grew colder and distant to the point where they weren't actively speaking to each other leading up to the conclave.

after sidri is made the herald, there are a flurry of letters from distant relatives (her damn cousins, its always cousin) trying to capitalize on their relationship to her, however weak or distant, but the one bearing her family crest sits on her desk for a week before she can bring herself to open it. it's a short letter asking her if she's heard anything of her brother and congratulating her on returning meaning and admiration to the family name. she burns it all but immediately after reading it and avoids reading the several more than arrive throughout the course of the main timeline until curiosity gets the best of her, only for the inevitable disappointment of being told again and again her their greatest source of pride is derived from her status as inquisitor and never in her own actions, as if she is somehow atoning for the great sin of her brother being a mage when it was always him who was to bear the family name in service of the chantry.

before trespasser, she sends a letter to her parents stating that she is engaged and, following the exalted council, has every intention of leaving for kirkwall rather than return to ostwick (she never, not once, thought of returning). she does not receive a response but, after formal announcement of her wedding is made after the events of trespasser, the viscount's office receives ostwick's traditional wedding gifts sent by her family (wine and a set of matching silver goblets, thick cloaks woven to ward off the sea's chill and a detailed manuscript detailing the family line with the addition of her own name and a v. tethras inked at the bottom).

recognition of her marriage, as well as estie despite her being adopted, helps melt some of the iciness between them. gifts clearly intended for estie are sent every wintersend, even if there are no notes accompanied by them, and increased trade between kirkwall and ostwick courtesy of @extravagantliar, further help mend the fractures. by the time her youngest daughter is born, her parents are informed well in advance and a litany of presents (citrus fruit, cinnamon & other spices, childrens clothes and, most significantly, jewelry from her family's stores) is sent in celebration. cards from her girls are sent back to ostwick a few times a year and the occasional letter from her accompanies them.

her children (asha included down the line) do end up learning about her parents and her family, most importantly her brother, through tradition even if not personal relationships. she remembers what was important to her as a child, & what memories were warm and worth passing down are renewed by her own hand for her kids.