#but i couldnt think of another reason for jos to write

[lincolndjarin]

Best Kept Secret : What If...?

a series of alternate/unused bks story lines!!

contains spoilers for all of bks!!

alternate torture @ the end

i grappled with this a lot. i very strongly believe that the worst thing you can do with your characters in a high stakes situation is coddle them. if i've learned anything from dnd it's that you cannot be afraid to hurt you characters.

yet for the first time in my life i've become so attached that i just couldn't do it.

the tongue in a box scene was something that caused me a lot of turmoil. in the original cut it was elaine's tongue, but i talked to my friend catie about it and we agreed that cutting off a lesbians tongue is fucked up. then i considered actually cutting off din's tongue, i thought that that would make for something really interesting with the big reveal if he couldn't talk to her but it just seemed too brutal? i couldn't really wrap my head around it so i eventually just made it someone elses tongue.

my replacement for that was din's leg, that was something that sort of came on at the last second, i gave him the limp as foreshadowing and then said fuck it, lets take the whole thing.

dress maker

the scene in chapter 4 where din walks in on her in the bath was originally a much longer sequence where a modiste visited the castle and there was a lot of stuff around making new dresses for her and din was going to walk in while she was getting changed.

eventually i scrapped the entire concept and gave elaine the seamstress trait instead.

multiple parties & balls (masquerade)

i briefly mentioned this in the q&a but in the original bks outline there were a lot more parties and big scenes like that. i realized pretty quickly that balls and parties are a visual medium. the reason why i like those scenes so much in other things is because they're so visually appealing which is harder to do when writing. there was going to be a readers birthday ball, a few other parties or wedding for kodos siblings etc but it always felt like filler.

the masquerade was my dream sequence that just never really fir naturally fit with the story so i eventually had to let it go.

no breakup/rules storyline

there was no break up in the original bks story board. instead, everything after chapter 7 was gonna be based around breaking each and every rule.

each chapter following would have been dedicated to breaking a few of the rules up until the last one that would have been; no falling in love, stop when i say to stop, and no kissing would have all been one big climax chapter. it would have been very little women in the 'we have got to have it out jo' sort of sense where she begs him to stop talking but he just keeps confessing.

eventually i realized that a rule or two break every chapter wasn't very sustainable. it was a fun idea and it might work in a different setting but bks at its core is supposed to be an overly dramatic period piece and there just wasn't enough conflict with that so instead i went with the breakup.

alternative ending

i had a similar ending for quite some time and one day i was listening to music and thinking about bks and realized that she loved naboo. originally they fled after kodo was killed. they built a cabin somewhere far away etc. etc.

but the character seemed to make more sense as someone who would want to do right by the people she had grown to love within the kingdom so i decided to make it a sort of thing where she disassembled the monarchy.

(there was also an ending where she faked her own death, framed kodo, and he was ripped apart by the citizens of naboo)

and of course i briefly considered genuinely killing din and having her raise the baby on her own. but the idea made me so truly upset that i just couldnt do it.

hoth story line

not much to say here other that there was going to be a thing where she went back to hoth to visit her family accompanied by the mandalorian. another thing that was fun as a concept but ended up feeling like filler so i dropped it.

elaine plot twist

another case of me really loving elaine and being conflicted about her character.

originally elaine was going to tell kodo about their relationship. it was going to be a situation where kodo suspected something and threatened lysa forcing elaine to take action but eventually i decided to use my backup which was leo since there had been foreshadowing for that anyway

neutral kodo

for quite a while i planned for kodo to be just a bad husband and not a villain. but i needed more conflict and i needed a driving force and he was easy to mold into that.

there was an alternate storyline where he fell in love with the reader and “killed” din out of jealousy

[furymint]

8. The way cold glass fogs when you press your hand against it.

(wc: 813)

Nolanel pulled the hand lantern closer from across the table. The tiny panes burst into white at his touch; he sighed and fished through his pockets for a rag. Moisture smeared across the paneling. He redoubled his effort and picked the object up, noticing its new weight. He shoved his letters aside and set the  tiny lantern down.Nolanel opened the latch and a storm of cloth burst from the door. His eyebrows furrowed as he raked the cotton free. Tiny glass bottles sang against each other in the sea of white. Nolanel reached inside and pulled a vial free. The short cork caught on the door frame and the bottle clattered from his hand to the table. He slapped his palm over it to keep it from rolling away. The glass fogged and he rubbed it, too, clean.

Dry red and brown shavings shifted inside. Nolanel set it at a safe distance on the table and extracted the remaining six. Entire leaves plastered against the glass in one; another held tiny stalks of yellow, and the others were more like the first: burgundy, gray-brown, maybe purple. He waved them all away, groaned about medicine, and snatched the final bottle, which was empty save for a slip of paper.

A doodle of a tea cup accented the top, followed by Elliot’s handwriting in vibrant blue ink:

Now Dearest Nolanel,My curious recluse of teas:Here collected are a few for you;Help yourself to them, please!

Lemongrass: you’ll find in stalksLemonbalm: you’ll look for leavesA rule of thumb: for swifter sleepAnd anxiety, pick from these.

Bur the cold inflames your throatCinnamon – rejoice! – is your go-toOr look for pale tan, like bread:Sharp ginger may perform in lieu.

If glory aches anew or suddenFind chamomile and turmeric--Their potent gold or shallow orangewill give those pains a direct fix.

Rosehip, vibrant and romantic!Followed by mint, cold and sharp!The first, I admit, is only for sweetness.The next will crush fever and nausea’s harp.

Allow these four minutes to steepAnd your simple drink is complete!Don’t you scowl over my instructionsI swear this tea cures all corruptions.

E.C.

P.S. Don't tell my father.

Nolanel dragged his letter pile closer and flipped through them. Ephemie, Elliot again, Kayden, and-- Josseloux. He slit the top of the envelope with his knife and ripped it fully open. It read, to his fatigue:

Ser Feran,

Little more than a moment passed since your Departure than I discovered your dear father pacing a trench into my floor. It is not my place to give mine observation why or my conclusion thereof, but I will expound Ruelle’s reason for coming. He gave me permission to do so. I am certain you know why he wanted this conduit instead of speaking to you directly.

Plainly speaking -- you are a busy man, and my Son’s letter is likely to demand your Time and Care -- he is concerned over shirking. Being that he is the lone Person occupying your Apartment while you are off, it is more than he can bear to not offer to foot some portion of the rent. Particularly, your assurance that you would sell your Military Medals for funds distresses him.

I understand that it is not about Morality so much as Money for him;  he did not enjoy admitting it. In a way of penance he asked me if I might assist him in mending the former: could he, um, if it pleases, help around-- shine the windows, or, somesuch...

Pray, don’t be angered. I do not write this to upset you. Your father had the same intention when he came to me.

But I refuse to belittle him as he desires. With your Permission, I should like to fund the Apartment so it may no longer a Burden of Thought or Money or Conscience. I will not make more of a case. It is your Decision to make when you wish.

In the meantime, I Remind and Assure you that you are my Smile as I write this. My Thoughts never find you absent, my Prayers always have your name, and I will always be alert for your knock at my door. If it takes Halone to convince you, let Her: you are not alone in this World.

Thank you, Ser Feran, for your Time and for your Kindness.

Blessings and Love,

Josseloux Cadieux.

P.S. Elliot’s hand is not in this at all. This is entirely my interference-- and my shame for adding this trouble to your Duties. Do not blame him, but do feel free to involve him if you like. It is puzzling: he has been raiding my cabinet this past sennight. I suppose you know where my tea has gone. Don’t boil the water when you heat it, good ser.

[glowyves]

Can you do small introductions on each loona member? Or i mean not all of them if u dont want ik theres like 27 of them but just little descriptions of what u think of em would be cute

a chance? to talk abt the loves of my life? 

heejin: you knwo that friend who like if u fuck around during the school yr and need someone to help u out w notes and getting yourself together bc u know shes always on top of her game? thats heejin. girly is an all rounder tbh she can sing dance and as much as ppl like 2 clown her for her rapping shes really not all that bad. LIKE shes just so versatile. she showed that thru mixnine which lol i didnt watch besides cuts but if u watch her performing on there and then see her performing with loona 1/3 it’s like complete opposites but she manages to shine no matter what like it’s effortless for her. shes such a sweet girl too i really do feel like theres a reason she was picked to go first bc she has such a likeable personality. shes funny, hardworking, humble (but not to the point to where she downplays her worth), and just seems like a real ride or die type of friend

hyunjin: MY BABY i hav such a soft spot for hyunjin and it’s hard not to??? she comes across as a little quiet at first and she acts like she doesnt care but she does u know she does shes not fooling anyone idc how many times shes told yeojin 2 shut up on camera i know she’d be one of the first if not THE first girl 2 be by her side (and any members side) if some shit went down. shes such a determined little thing too and when she has her eyes on something she goes for it no thinking abt it no questions asked she just does what she wants and thats something so impressive for a girl her age to be able to do. i feel like shes the type of person to just sit in the back and watch more than participate bc she doesnt mind if the other girls take the spotlight like shes such a chill, laid-back soul. i aspire to be like her. and shes so fucking funny really it’s almost criminal how hard she makes me laugh. ALSO she has the best reactions it’s a disgrace more than anything that i dont hav a folder of just her making stupid faces

haseul: the absolute love of my life? THE jo haseul?? theres a reason shes the member i latched onto the most at the beginning and ultimately kinda the member that tied me down to loona for good. like i was onboard w them from the get but it’s her that sealed the deal. i dont joke when i say she really is their guardian angel and no matter what u think of her in the comparison to the other girls u cant deny the fact that shes born leader material. she makes the other girls feel good and at-ease yknow. like she was always around vivi in the 1/3 loona tvs and u could tell it was like 2nd nature to her being by her side as vivi navigated her way through a country and language she wasnt all too familiar with. and like w/ yves for another example like yves if all facts check out was only w/ bbc for a three week period before they debuted her so obviously she wasnt familiar with any of the girls which is why she was so awkward at first. but haseul? bless her soul she did all that she could to make her feel at home. and she has such a beautiful voice i feel like not enough ppl praise her for it. also fuck yg for making her feel bad during mixnine she deserves the world and he can suck my big toe

yeojin: miss thang miss thang. what 2 say what 2 say. first things first shes a trooper. shes a baby i mean a lot of them are babies but yeojin is an actual baby baby i almost fainted when i learned how old she is. but despite her age shes so firm yknow. when shes doing things she wants to do them right to the best of her abilities and shes always striving to be better which is so admirable bc for me personally at that age i was a goddamn mess i couldnt be doing and juggling even a third of the shit she does. and shes right next to hyunjin when it comes to making me laugh shes just so loud and full of energy even 2 the point where i get tired watching her and im loud and full of energy but her being loud and being full of energy kicks my being loud and being full of energy in the ass. if any of that made sense. but theres never a dry eye in sight when shes in the room and u can tell shes such a joy 2 be around as much shit as the other girls give her lol i just feel real protective of her bc shes just so full of life and laughter and i just want her to be out here living her best life

vivi: it needs 2 be said that i have such high respect for any kpop idol who’s from another country bc theres just so much thats going against them. miss vivi is away from home away from her comfort space away from her friends and family away from a place where she can speak proficiently and fluently bc shes struggling to learn a new language and?? on top of that shes doing all the other standard idol stuff. thats some tough shit thats some scary shit but she takes it all on with a brave face and an open mind. and being able to slowly watch her build up more confidence in the language and basically everything else has been such an honor. like when im out here on my weak shit feeling sorry for myself i gotta think 2 myself what would miss vivi do? how would miss vivi tackle this? i lov this girl honestly i would die for her she does so much and i feel like not all of it is fully appreciated but she’ll have her moment i know she will and it’ll only be a matter of time before ppl see how amazing she is 

kim lip: giiiiiiiiirl. lip is such a strong person. like in all aspects. shes crazy talented it’s a little scary to think abt how much she’ll grow once they properly debut as a group and she gets more experience bc?? she just has so much going for her. her charisma is off the charts she can easily pull a crowd if her solo being a real big jumping point in spreading the loona name says anything at all. and shes such a good pick for the oec leader she definitely has those vibes like u just cant help but listen to her regardless of whatever bullshit she says and she says a lot of bullshit but do i liv by that bullshit and eat it up like shes spouting out the new testament u can bet ur ass i do. lip is definitely one of those girls that u cant help but be drawn to like u just want 2 be her bff bc once u remove her from the stage she has such girl next door vibes i feel like she’d be the type of girl u see in the club and u make small talk by the bar bc u made eye contact by accident and all of the sudden before u know it youve spent ur whole night w her and u hav her phone number and plans to meet up next week bc shes so friendly 

jinsoul: i make fun of her a lot. but w good reason: shes easy 2 make fun of. shes so quirky but not in the ironic way like shes really quirky and a bit of a walking disaster but it’s charming and she makes it work. even if shes not ur fav? shes still? kinda ur fav? even if u dont know it? if i made a list of some of my fav loona moments i assure u she’d be included in about 80% of it like shes such a staple to the group i really cant imagine her not being w them i mean i cant imagine the group w/o any of them but jinsoul especially. sometimes i watch loona vids knowing good and damn well shes not gonna be in them but i still end up thinking where is jinsoul?? bc not 2 speak for everybody (i will tho) but no one can get enough jinsoul. also her voice? i love it it’s one of my favs in not only loona but kpop in general. both speaking-wise and singing-wise. it’s just so pretty i really did astral project the first time i heard sitr & love letter. true out of body experiences 10/10 would recommend the yelp reviews are in shes 100% worth It. what is the It shes worth? idk but whatever It is .. shes worth It.

choerry: i just want her 2 be my little sister wow. miss yerim really has my heart. truly the embodiment of :) . shes so smily and has such a strong energy u cant help but like her. in every loona tv shes in shes making someone laugh or smile and it’s no coinkidink it’s bc shes really just that much of a ray of sunshine and u cant help but fall for her. give her some time i pledge w my life that once they debut she is going 2 shine on variety shows theres no way she wont. she has such good sense and shes so flexible. and if lcm is anything 2 go by shes able to switch it up and kill different concepts and sounds at the drop of a hat. def one to keep ur eye on bc u just know shes gonna go far in the future theres no way she wont she has all the tools in her arsenal to make it big no problem. does she resemble the annoying orange? yes and i’ll hate kim lip forever for putting that image in my head but that wont stop her shes truly a force to be reckoned with.

yves: my baby! u didnt hear this from me but i lov her a lot. she was kinda just thrown 2 the wolves w/ her three weeks of training i can only imagine how nerve wracking it must’ve been for her. here is an army of girls bbc has as potential loona members whove been training for years/knew the other girls who were already chosen as loona members/have even gone along for the ride with the chosen loona members to film their mvs and yet shes the one who was picked to be added after three weeks of her being w the company. three weeks !!! thats a lot of pressure but despite that she gave us everything she got. she was real nervous in the beginning anyone could tell when u watched her loona tv arc but she got over it and by the time chuu’s arc rolled around she was joking around w/ the others like it was nothing. shes so funny too but in an awkward way. like she doesnt mean to be but she says and does shit that makes u ?? and u cant help but laugh. her gig with marishe? i have never seen anything funnier like that bitch really took 100+ photos all w the same face and w the same three poses if that’s not talent idk what is. and i dont think it’s been confirmed in writing yet but shes gonna be such a good leader for the eden unit i feel it in my bones 

chuu: when i tell u my heart has skipped a beat over this girl. im not saying it 2 be dramatic im deadass. my heart has skipped a beat multiple times watching her whether it be a fancam or a loona tv or even a selfie. i’ve watched that little instagram update of her in her pig onesie more times than i want 2 disclose. her voice???? oh my god im in love with it. shes such a strong singer like STRONG and u can hear that in heart attack and girl’s talk and see saw but if u listen to her covers shes done before being introduced as a member it’s like !!!!! wow. and she makes a lot of noises. like just incoherent sounds and its so cute i could cry. like i dont have the attention span 2 sit and watch a vlive if it’s not subbed … but i’d do it for her just bc i love hearing her talk i love her voice on any and all levels u could love someones voice. and all her little mannerisms are adorable and this could really turn into me typing a whole mla formatted essay on how i find her 2 be one of the cutest girls in the world but i’ll spare u. and ofc shes not just cute like i said before this girl is talented and i cant wait for loona to grow as a group so she can be on bigger and bigger platforms for more and more ppl to hear her sing bc thats just how it should be

gowon: i lov her i lov her i lov her!! i’d do just about anything for this girl if she asked but i feel like regardless of who u are u wouldnt be able to refuse her even if u wanted to. i latch onto every word she says everything she says is gold. shes so giggly and a lot of that giggling is bc she probably feels awkward but it’s still real cute. shes also lowkey highkey gotta mouth on her like she’ll really come for ppls throats if she feels it’s necessary and thats beautiful to me. she doesnt get enough credit but as pretty as she is more attention should be focused on her talents bc she is a talented girl. her vocal tone is high and ‘cute’ but i think it melds so well w/ the other girls’ voices and theres a lot of opportunity there if and when they decide to create new sub-units/have more duet songs. and my girl can dance im tired of ppl overlooking her bc?? her pre-debut vids are a little stiff ye but theres so much potential there shes such a gem and i cant wait for her to grow more bc i know theres so much she could be doing w/ what she has

olivia hye: when she said love myself today let u go today? i felt that

[55oju]

BEHIND PROLOGUE

prologue 

hello :) thanks for reading this lol. i’ll try not to make these too long idk. i’m writing informally here too. but let’s analyze the prologue: this is basically me telling you everything you might have missed because i didn’t know if i expressed it well. 

WARNING: before continuing, please read the chapter. there are spoilers ahead.

okay, the prologue starts with a dream. hence the italics. it says a man who is supposed to protect and I AM NOT TELLING YOU WHO IM TALKING ABOUT just yet anyways. lol but it is clearly a male-figure in her life. jukhyun has this nightmare and it gives her once again another sleepless night or rough night.

speaking of JAE RA. i will try to say this without leaking anything about her and her childhood with jukhyun so i’m sorry if this sounds funky and weird but she is her sister and an artist who lives in america. lol i said that in the chapter; yall it’s hard not to spill anything.. but that is jukhyun’s older sister. i don’t know if i’ll mention this in the main because it’s not that relevant but she is a 86 liner, being 6 years older than jukhyun / you?

NOW THE FLOWER

uh how do i explain this. the flower doesn’t play an important role? yet? but i haven’t really put a story of why i use a flower to tell you that there is a memory or flashback in time.. but let me tell you about the first flashback- ALSO I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO CALL IT OTHER THAN A FLASHBACK UHM PLS- but anyways,, this flashback is on jukhyun’s 22nd birthday. (shes the same age as seokjin) this flashback occurs after hearing just one day on the radio which she actually listens to the radio quite often because it gives her *cough cough* a feeling of warmth and i’ll stop now. but yes, she gets a flashback to her 22nd birthday and her sister insisted or tells her that she has a present that she mailed to jukhyun for her birthday. 

she gets a letter from her friend, sojung, her father, manager sejin, jae ra and then, she received a package that was from unknown which she had expected that the package was from her sister but she knows exactly who is was from if it wasn’t from her sister. WORLDWIDE HANDSOME YALL; ugh fan girl moment, i’m sorry. if you read what he had gave her and i’m not telling yall if she went <3 sorry bout it- we’re only analyzing boos <3 and as you can see, seokjin says something like i know you dont want me around.. or something along the lines of that and this means they have split omgomg winkwink. he also says: which i don’t know why or something like that and this means he doesn’t know the reason of why jukhyun split up with seokjin.. heartbreaking, right ?!?! pls i type like a nerd. 

this “chapter” was short but it was because it was just the prolouge. i mostly used this to grab viewers attention and to introduce her family? And her relationship with seokjin. 

the dates are key in this story. i created a whole ass timeline pls. 

anyways i think im going to do song of the chapter then characteristics of jukhyun and the drafts or something <3

song of the chapter is the first song of the playlist, just one day. in the playlist, i put focus areas which might be taken out due to the BEHIND series like this, where i explain why i have this song in the playlist or smth.

so i had just one day and the focus area of the song was verse two and the chorus.

;;just one day;;

!verse two, !chorus  

[verse 2: V, RM]

If only I could do that, how nice would it be

If only we could go anywhere

To eat and watch a movie comfortably

I would do anything girl

I’m sorry

Maybe I’m too rational

But still, if you see me someday, smile

Maybe you resent me a little or no, a lot

I know, I couldn’t look at you more because of my dream

Then just give me one day

Even if it’s in my dream, just one day

Out of all those words I had to swallow

Because of the excuse of reality

I’ll pick one and tell it to you for sure

Let’s meet when the morning glory blooms

And part when they wither

I didn’t think I’d get over you easily but

Is it selfish of me to hope you are the same?

I’m still lying, saying that it’s all for you

You are standing in the center of my life

[chorus: vocal line]

Just one day, if I can be with you

Just one day, if I can hold your hands

Just one day, if I can be with you

Just one day (just one day)

If only we can be together

because the song was kind of dedicated to jukhyun (fictionally) i had to make it the song of this chapter // but it wasnt what i originally had in mind.. // using this song for the chapter and explaining seokjin’s use of the song to jukhyun is if he can have just one day to see jukhyun again as they are split and they are broken up. as he knows like if they do have another day, it would be hard for jukhyun to leave seokjin again << ALSO, seokjin doesn’t know why jukhyun broke up with him. !!SORRY IF I KEEP CALLING HIM SEOKJIN: i do it because i’m so used to typing seokjin for the story!! by the way if these seem to all over the place for you, i just want to say everything before my train of thought gets lost.

continuing with the song analyze and it’s use;; in the chapter, i was going to make it as seokjin made the song with yoongi since yoongi is one of the original writers of the song but i just put it as seokjin ranted to yoongi or the group about his problems and yeah.

things you might’ve missed:

-in the flashback, jukhyun receives mail from manager sejin.

it’s just a hint that although seokjin and jukhyun broke up, she has decided to keep in touch with bts’s manager.

manager sejin is bts’s manager. has been with bts since early debut or before debut :) more about him is added in the next chapter or in chapter one.

-jukhyun characteristic / fear;;

this was very subtle but she has a fear of lighting/thunder, it’s not just some fear either and i can’t say the story behind why she has this fear but it has really bad uhm backstory to it. 

here’s this leak that i just wanted to add cause i’m feeling risky LOL and cause i don’t think anyone will read this because this is longer than the chapter itself PLS. 

Jukhyun was a 1st ranker of the country for all 3 years of her highschool life. we couldnt leave out a female beak seung jo out // i love my kdramas, i’m sorry. 

extra;; 

i have a schedule for posting which chapters are posting every tuesday and behind eps are posted on thursday but i don’t want to post that because i never stick to it.

and i actually wrote this before but didn’t finish it. this is more polished i would say??? i wrote this on wattpad but there was a hack i think and yeah <3 it got my mom involved too i think and so yeah <3 we’re not doing that again.

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