#but it sure is nice to still be invited out and kinda reminded people want me around anyways

[elegyofthemoon]

i might be dumb as rocks lmao

[burnforyou]

lay all your love on me

pairing: female singer x jack schlossberg

summary: friends to lovers, he falls first, he’s kinda controlling inspired by his instagram stories today.

“y/n,” jack started, then stopped and just stared at you. you look up from the tomato’s you were chopping and lock eyes with him. you can hear your friends continue their conversation in the other room, unaware of you two.

“hm?”

he sighs. you set down the knife you were using and turn your body fully to him.

“jack?”

“y/n, i want to be serious with you.”

you met jack schlossberg 2 years ago through mutual friends. well, artificial mutual friends. unbeknownst to you, jack arranged for you two to meet after seeing your performance at the Grammys. after your performance, he quickly found whose after party you were attending and got himself on the invites list, and basically faked being friends with people to get to you. how, you’ll never know. but that doesn’t matter.

at the after party, you fell for his charms immediately. he was much more charming (and handsome) than your boyfriend, joe. but that doesn’t matter.

ever since then, you and jack have been the bestest of friends. a day doesn’t go by where you don’t talk to him. now, you’re making pasta from jacks grandma’s famous recipe for your friends.

“i don’t know what you mean.” he picks up his wine glass and downs in it one go.

“i love you, y/n.”

your friends scream as lay all your love on me by ABBA starts playing in the other room.

“i love you too jack” you shout over their singing. they continue even louder. jack grabs your hands, he’s breathing hard. his eyes glisten.

“i’m possessive it isn’t nice” they sing.

“no no, y/n, i want to be with you. y/n i want all of you.”

“jack, this isn’t the right time and you know it.”

you and your boyfriend just broke up because he accused you of cheating. yes, you may have kissed jack once or twice (or maybe a few more times than that) because you were upset, but it wasn’t anything serious. friends kiss all the time, right?

also, you’re about to go on a world tour.

but now it isn’t true

now everything is new

“y/n we can make it work. if you love somebody, you can make it work. and i love you.”

“jack stop it.” you say, removing your hands from his grip but he quickly grabs your waist instead and pulls you closer.

don’t go wasting your emotion

lay all your love on me

“i do, i do love you, you’re amazing there’s nobody like you” you can smell the wine on his breath, it mixes so perfectly with his natural musk and the heat you feel in your stomach from his touch. his hands on your waist that pull you into his body remind you of the first time you kissed him. your body moves before you can think, pulling him down into a kiss. he kisses you like he’s never kissed you before, so needy, so desperate it makes your knees weak. he slinks his hands up to your face and holds you like you’re his treasure. you back away first, hands still on his neck, and he looks at you through hooded eyes.

“the way you smile,” kiss “the way you laugh,” kiss “the way we could spend hours together and i would never get bored,” kiss and a smile. he leans his forehead on yours, your face burns.

the world around you fades away.

“i’ve never felt this way about anybody before,” he whispers.

“me neither.”

“i’ve never laughed so hard in my life. i’m so much better when i’m around you. i cant live without you, y/n” his eyes shine once again.

“jack i love you.” your eyes swell up with tears, blurring jacks face.

“i know we can work it out, y/n, it’ll be fine. we can do distance, hell i’ll follow you across the world. i’d go anywhere for you, y/n, i want this to work. i want us to work.” he speaks as he holds your head, making sure you never look away from him. tears stream down your face, you’re just so overwhelmed with love and emotions you don’t even know what to do. jack holds you and doesn’t let go.

“don’t cry, sweet girl, i need you to listen to me.” you lean into his chest and continue to cry, leaving mascara stains on his white shirt. “why are you crying, hm?”

“jack, i love you so much,” he holds you tight. you never knew how much he loved you, you’ve never been loved like this.

“y/n, listen to me.” you sniffle and look up at him. “i need you, okay? i don’t wanna live without you,” he wipes your tears away, “and if i cant have all of you, i cant handle anything less than all of you. i wanna be with you 24/7, i wanna be fully in love, i never want to leave the stage where we can’t keep our hands off of each other, okay?” you nod against his chest. he never looks away from you.

“i cant share you, i cant share you anymore. i cant share you with another man, i cant share you with your dad, i cant share you with your best friend. i’m your best friend.” he begins to rub your shoulder, his face so full of emotion.

“i’m your best friend who loves you. i’m your best friend who will do anything for you. i’m your best friend, i’m your lover, i’m your husband. i can do all those 3 jobs. i can do it all for you. but i want to know if you can do it all for me.”

“jack, yes,” you speak before you can think.

“shh,” he puts his pointer finger to your lips. “can you be mine?” he asks with a smile. “can you be fully mine? can you be my best friend, partner, lover? can you be the mother of my kids?”

he pauses, looking at you with a smile. neither of you move. your chests rise and fall in unison, your body heat has become one. in this moment, its just you two. you and jack. no one else. no one else matters.

“i’m ready to be serious with you. i don’t want to kiss and tell anymore, i want to marry and tell. i want to be serious with you. i’m committed to you, y/n, and only you.” he pulls you into a deep kiss, a passionate, needy kiss. you kiss him through your tears. you press yourself into his body, a deep need for him taking over.

“so what do you sa-“ you cut off jack before he can finish his sentence with a kiss.

[cloudyskydreams]

How they act when crushing UT,UF,US!

This one was fun I might do a part 2 eventually because I love how people change their behavior while crushing on someone think next is gonna be confession head canons or a drabble. Anyway requests are open! Just wanted to put that out there I love getting them ::> and I'm pretty open to writing most things I love getting different inspo from different people. Anyways I'm done rambling hope y'all enjoy!

Undertale:

Sans:

Trys to make you laugh as much as possible. He loves hearing your laughter and is super proud when he can get you to full on laugh with his shitty jokes. He's a daydreamer and often daydreams about you when it's slow at work or he's in bed alone. He won't admit how nice he sleeps when he sees you in his dreams. You motivate him to get out of bed easier on days he gets to see you so that's a plus

Papyrus:

He likes to be around you as much as he can. Like doing menial things together?? Oh you have a doctor's appointment, sure why don't I come and we get lunch afterwards. He just likes spending time with you! "Accidentally" making too much food for meals so he has a reason to see you and make sure you're eating something.

Underfell:

Red:

Heavy denial before reluctantly accepting. He's a flirty guy he thinks it's all fun and games until he's thinking about you at 3 am with a blush in his face imagining a future and doing cute relationship things with you. He knows he's fucked. He doesn't really believe someone would like him so from his perspective it's one sided attraction all the way and that hurts. He still flirts but it kinda hurts him inside too. Teasing himself with something he thinks he'll never have. He doesn't distance himself but he's a bit rougher maybe trying to scare you off a tad.

Edge:

Denial worse than his brother. He doesn't have time for crushes or anything of the sort. It's improbable that he does like you that way anyways it's just a passing attraction he simply likes the way you say his name, and the way your legs look when you walk and stretch out, and the way your eyes crinkle when you smile, and oh … He's fucked. He'll continue to deny it to himself until someone ,most likely his brother or his version of Undyne, points it out. Then he's trying to hide it, trying to play it off. The passing touches he lets linger too long, how even though his days are scheduled he still somehow ends up running into you occasionally.

Underswap:

Stretch:

We got another daydreamer and he's 50/50 with risque and wholesome daydreams. He finds any excuse to touch you and let's the touches linger. He's flirty and loves if you flirt back, kind of easy to fluster flushing a gorgeous marigold shade as he nye he he's. He invites you over for gaming or movie nights, wanting to share his interests with you and find some shared interests in shows and such. He definitely has written a song about you that he keeps hidden in a folder in his closet. There's a doodle of you on the back of the page and he's a little embarrassed of it.

Blue:

He can tell when he likes someone like that he's pretty intune with his emotions. He likes to hang around you taking time out of his day and dedicating it specifically to you. He writes you little notes and reminders and hides them around your space to find, knows where you hide when you're sad and hides a bunch there. He blogs about you on occasion never mentioning your name but simply writing about you. He likes to find two player games for you two to play together mainly team working puzzle ones.

[coco-loco-nut]

Actress

Pairing: Logan x Reader

Summary: A former F2 driver gets the chance to star on the big screen.

A/n: I am so sorry this took so long. August was the busiest month of my internship and 60 hour work weeks are tough, plus an hour commute 🥲

masterlist requests open

———————

Filming in the Formula One paddock was something else. Sure, you have been here before, but this was something different. You were fulfilling your childhood dream of being a Formula One driver, kinda.

“We will start filming in 15,” your producer says at the end of their tangent. The race suit hangs at your hips as you stand, watching other drivers go by.

“Why does she look familiar?” Lando asks Oscar, both ready to collapse in their drivers rooms after a long qualifying session.

“She drove in Formula Two with Trident a few years ago,” Oscar quietly observes you, mentally debating whether it would be weird to approach you.

“She seems to be doing well for herself,” Lando hums, feeling ready to take a nap. Oscar steps away, deciding it’s more awkward to say nothing than to at least say hello.

“Hi, y/n, right? I’m Oscar, we used to race against each in F2,” Oscar extends his hand, unsure if you remember him. A bit silly, seeing as how you hung out a good amount.

“Of course, I remember. Too many adventures to forget. I considered copying your tweet to announce my contract wasn’t getting extended,” you smile, showing you aren’t upset.

“I’m sorry, you were a good driver,” Oscar offers, but you shake your head. You won a couple races in F2, but that was a lot of luck.

“I hit my ceiling, and there wasn’t going to be a seat waiting for me since I wasn’t in an F1 driver academy. I still drive occasionally in Indycar to keep my license,” you push down the little bit of longing, watching drivers walk through the paddock.

“How did you get into acting?” Oscar asks, genuinely curious at how you got involved in the movie.

“It was a bit of a wild experience. I applied to stunt drive for the film, but they liked my look and I guess I act well enough. So I ended up with one of the leads, a racing prodigy. Some tips on being one would be greatly appreciated,” Oscar’s cheeks flame when you call him a prodigy. He’s too humble for that.

“I wouldn’t say that. You know racing better than most, if not all, the people working on the movie, so I know you will be okay,” Oscar reassures you.

“Y/n, come to the garage. We film in ten,” an assistant comes to get you. You hesitate, not quite wanting to end your conversation.

“I’ll walk with you?” Oscar suggests, knowing you must feel a little out of place despite looking like you are meant to be here.

“Thanks. I can’t tell you the last time I was in a Formula One garage,” you say, letting out a sigh of relief. You would normally insist that he goes to his post-race meetings, but the accompaniment is needed.

“Anything for an old friend and rival,” Oscar jokes causing you both to chuckle, easing what’s left of the awkward tension.

“Is Logan still your bestie? I know you both were close,” you ask, your helmet feeling heavy in your hand.

“We are still close. I’m sure he’d love to see you again. He used to have a crush on you,” Oscar reveals as you get close to the garage the production team set up, you think it might actually be functional too.

“Aww, maybe we should get dinner sometime. Are you still with Lily?” you ask, feeling pre-race jitters even though you are only doing a few laps. There needs good film for both you and Pitt, so you are taking the track at different Grand Prix races this year.

“Yeah, it’s going well. Text me when you have a free weekend, I’ll get McLaren to invite you as a guest,” Oscar smiles, observing you. “You’ve been doing this all your life, it’s just you, the car, and the track,” he reminds you, sensing the nerves.

“Thanks, Oscar. It was nice to see a familiar face,” you say before heading into the garage. You thought it would be a standard F2 car, but you were wrong, they modified it to look like an F1 car.

You inspect your car, mentally noting what they changed and how it might affect your drive. After a quick conversation with Mercedes engineers, you get into the car, testing your radio and doing some final checks. Once the FIA clears you, you exit into pit lane, careful not to speed.

You keep your breathing steady, focusing on the feel of the car. You’ve raced at Silverstone before, this is no different. You did your track walk, you’ve sim raced, you warmed up and have kept up with your race training. After a lap to warm up your tires, you drive like you are racing. Each turn feels natural, your muscle memory kicking in and the car responding nicely. Oscar was right, you’ve been driving all your life, it’s just you and the car. You don’t waste the opportunity, pushing the car to its limits, driving on the edge. You prove why you belonged in F2. Indycar is great, but it isn’t the same.

“Two more laps then bring it in,” you hear over the radio, and you can’t help but wish you could drive more. There will be other filming opportunities, but you won’t lie and say that you didn’t miss racing regularly.

When you bring the car in, you feel like you are on cloud nine.

“It drives great, I hope those laps were good enough,” you smile, pulling off your helmet and balaclava.

“Spectacular drive, I knew having you in the car was a good choice,” Lewis says, appearing beside you. He’s working as a consultant on the movie, but you haven’t actually met him yet.

“Sir Hamilton, wow, I, um, thank you so much. It means a lot coming from you,” you stumble over your words, almost dropping your helmet.

“You raced in F2, without the support of an academy, and won a couple races. You are a good driver,” Lewis further compliments you. If you were to die right now, you would have no objections.

“I am literally at a loss for words, you have no idea how much that means coming from you. You inspired me to keep racing,” you are torn between crying and melting into the ground out of happiness.

“I look forward to watching your other drives, you have talent. It’s disappointing that you didn’t get another contract,” Lewis says a little offhandedly before heading back to Mercedes.

“We are going to get shots of you in the garage,” you are informed, before being requested to go back to hair and makeup.

“This is what it looks like to be a driver. We all aren’t Carlos, we don’t look flawless right after a race,” you joke as you push back again the request, pulling your balaclava back on.

You spend the next hour filming, and a part of you misses when you would be meeting with your team instead after driving laps. As you wrap up and change into something that isn’t your racing suit, aka sweat pants and an old team hoodie, you cannot wait to get back to the hotel.

“Y/n!” you quickly recognize the American accent. Logan jogs to catch up with you.

“Hey, Logan. Sorry about qualifying, tough luck,” you smile sympathetically as he shrugs.

“Can’t do much when the car is slow. Congrats on the role, I’m glad you were able to find footing after not getting resigned,” he says, clearly aware of his uncertain future.

“There is still tomorrow,” you offer, hoping to reassure him a little.

“It was nice to see you drive again, you did some great laps. Was that an F1 car?” Logan asks, changing the topic.

“Modified F2 car. It was great, the car felt amazing,” you smile as Logan walks beside you. A small part of you hopes that a team will watch your drive and sign you.

“Well maybe one day you will get to drive one for real. After the race tomorrow we should go out for drinks,” Logan says, quickly adding on “you, me, and Oscar,” to the end.

“Sounds great, I missed you guys,” your car is parked in the opposite direction of Logan’s. You start walking away and Logan watches as you approach your car. As he is about to turn away, you turn back towards him. “Maybe we could grab drinks without Oscar sometime?” you yell, hoping you aren’t shooting the wrong shot and Oscar was right.

“I’d like that,” Logan calls back, his cheeks flushed. With a smile you turn back to your car, looking forward to the date.

You arrive to the Paddock early the next day, wanting to catch the F2 race. Trident invited you go visit, and you can’t deny you wanted to take the opportunity to network. It is also nice to catch up with your former team.

“Great drive, yesterday. You posted some pretty good times,” Maurizio compliments. You haven’t spoken much to your former team principal since you left F2.

“Thank you, it was nice to be behind the wheel again,” you take it gracefully, knowing there’s a fine line between demonstrating skill and boasting.

“Perhaps we can discuss a contract sometime,” he leaves you with those parting words and you can’t help but feel a buzz of excitement. You make sure to take your exit as soon as the race ends, not wanting to make anything awkward.

Earlier you received a text from someone at Mercedes telling you how to pick your paddock and hospitality pass. Lewis apparently asked them to invite you to watch from the Mercedes hospitality after your drive yesterday. So now you are on the hunt to find the hospitality.

“Fancy seeing you here,” you notice someone start walking beside you.

“Hey, Logan,” you don’t know why, but you can feel the heat of a blush creeping over your fac. “Don’t you have a race to prepare for?” You question, an attempt to distract him.

“I have time before the driver’s parade and I saw you out here,” Logan throws his arm around your shoulder.

“Lucky me, then. I was just on my way to Mercedes, want to show me where I’m going?” you smoothly ask, feeling your stomach flip in anticipation.

“That I can do,” he smiles down at you, happy to show you around. You make small talk as he points things out on your walk, and you don’t know any better so he takes you the long way.

“Hey, you are the girl in that F1 movie, the prodigy,” you instantly recognize Daniel Ricciardo. Logan is a little confused, not having many run-in’s with the VCARB driver, but he rolls with it.

“Yeah,” you nod, blushing from embarrassment. These guys are the best in the world and you are just imitating them.

“We drove in F2 together,” Logan interjects, causing Daniel to look at the two of you in surprise.

“Ah, sick! That’s so cool. Good to know there is a real driver in it. I gotta go but it was nice meeting you!” With that, the Honey Badger left, wearing his iconic smile.

“He is an interesting guy,” you can’t help but smile in amusement as you reflect on the interaction.

“You got that right. Have you met Alex and Lily? I’ll have to invite you to a race soon, give you a reason to hang around,” Logan says, turning up his flirting. He never got over his crush for you.

“I haven’t, and I hate to break the news, but Oscar called dibs on inviting me to the next race. Maybe you two can share custody,” you joke as you pass McLaren, only making it funnier.

The drop off at Mercedes was a bit rushed. Turns out, Logan lied about having plenty of time before the Driver’s Parade, but in his defense, he didn’t really look at a clock before stopping you. That was also how you met George Russell.

Unfortunately for Oscar and Logan, you had to cancel on post-race drinks. You got called back to the studio for an early shoot, meaning you left after the race and caught the next plane back to America.

The bright side is that there wasn’t a race the next week, so Logan took advantage and caught a flight to surprise you. He may be a guy, but he was able to pick up on the flirting the both of you were doing. Logan arrived at your hotel soon after you were done filming for the day, and knocked on the door. The only reason he knew your hotel room number is because he said he was going to doordash you food after the long few days.

“Thanks for bringing it to my room, here’s an extra-“ you stop mid sentence when you realize it isn’t a dasher at your hotel room door.

“I hope McDonald’s is okay? I’ve been craving fries,” he smiles, amused by your stunned reaction.

“I don’t know whether I want to cry or hug you,” you open the door wider so he can enter the room.

“This isn’t how I pictured our first date,” you comment after a few minutes of eating food that you probably shouldn’t be and watching comfort movies. Logan almost chokes on his fry.

“I’ll make it up to you then, take you out on a proper date,” he vows.

“I like this, though. Our lives are so crazy anyway,” you smile to yourself as he wraps an arm around you, letting you get closer to him. The both of you enjoy small talk throughout the movie, your head ending up on his shoulder, fighting off the sleep that threatens to creep in.

Logan hears your soft snores as the movie ends and quietly watches you. He ponders just falling asleep too, claiming you both dozed off during the movie, but it feels too soon. So, he carefully wakes you up so it seems like you didn’t doze off.

“I didn’t realize it was so late,” you comment, unsure if you fell asleep or not.

“I didn’t either. I should go, early flight and all that,” Logan grimaces, not ready to leave.

“Do you have a hotel room? You can stay here if needed,” you offer.

“No, no, it’s okay. I got a room for the night. I wouldn’t want to impose,”

“Well, I had a great time. I look forward to our next,” you smile, face close to Logan’s. He strongly debates kissing you, but he doesn’t want to screw this up, so he slowly pulls away.

“I do too. Sleep well,” with a boyish smile, he quietly exits. You lay back in the bed with a content sigh.

You and Logan dated quietly, not wanting to make a big deal out of things. The fans loved it when you hung out with him, Oscar, and some other drivers from your F2 days. They especially loved it when Trident announced you would be rejoining the team next season, right after filming finishes.

The best part about driving F2 was that you could skip a lot of the press tour stuff, but you did try. Somehow, you got Logan to agree to attend the London premiere with you. It was a big deal, all of the grid is expected to attend.

He is the first out of the car once you reach the red carpet, quickly making his way to your door so he can assist you out.

“Are you ready?” he asks with a slightly nervous smile. It’s your first public outing as a couple, despite your soft launching.

“With you? Always,” you confidently take the red carpet, answering questions and posing for cameras. At some point, Oscar and Lily join you both, happy to take group pictures.

“There is our star,” Oscar says when they arrive.

“Thank you for being here! I’m excited for everyone to see it,” you smile, a little on edge around so many Formula One legends. You swear you even saw Guenther Steiner walk past you.

“I didn’t know you two were dating,” George says once you make it inside where everyone is mingling.

“I convinced her somehow,” Logan smiles at you, clearly enamored.

“Well, you two look great together. Let’s get coffee sometime,” George says before walking away. Logan just signed with Mercedes, and you were so proud. He tried to play it down, but you made sure to celebrate it.

“How are you feeling?” Logan asks, his thumb caressing the back of your hand.

“A little nervous, it’s a great movie, but I’m nervous. There’s been some recent negativity because I’m a driver and starred in the movie. Something to do with pushing the female driver agenda,” you shift your weight back and forth. Logan pulls you close to him, providing a support as you take the moment to relax before starting your rounds again.

“Ah, there she is! Y/n, let me introduce you to some friends of mine,” Brad Pitt says as you walk past him with Logan. You stay for a minute before Logan provides an exit plan.

“I think we should head to our seats, don’t want to miss the movie,” he says, smoothly allowing you to leave and go into the theater. You are seated beside Lewis, who has mentored and coached you this season.

Before you know it, the movie is starting. The scene pans down from the sunset to your car flying on the track. As you turn the corner, an engineer is shown analyzing your data with a headset on. Silently, other motion to screens, nodding along with a comment. All you can hear is the roar of the engine on track as the engineer activates his radio.

“Box box,”

[joshleyson]

LIFE LATELY: hello again + places PT. 1 [Coron]

First, I want to say hello to my fellow people who desperately want to escape the invasive algorithmic junk and polished influencer-driven social media platforms, finding refuge in this nostalgic blogosphere in the name of *ahem* "self-expression", like seriously, Tumblr in 2025? That's WILD. Anyway, the only thing that saved me from completely abandoning this space was the occasional Tumblr notification that I receive on my phone. I am reminded that it's nice for my brain to share things here that I felt were kinda out of place in social media, like who reads and appreciates lengthy posts like this on those platforms? Fucking nobody. So here I am, back with an update about my life that nobody asked, exercising my brain cells with another tumblog post with zero ROI, but all for the love of this community that somehow separates us from the noise from other social media.

The last "serious" post that I wrote here was the Pulag climb I did last year, and since then, I have actually had the privilege to do a lot of things for the first time. I feel like 2024 was a major breather for me, financially, professionally, and physically as I was able to get my shit together and wander in places that I never been to and reconnect with the people I really cared about, which as self-centered as it sound, what this post is all about. I’m breaking these down into separate posts (and they are sitting on my drafts since forever, mind you) because it’s just so lengthy and at this point I’m on the verge of who-tf-gonna-give-a-shit about this, but hey, this is Tumblr ala version 2025, who’s judging?

First stop… Coron, Palawan (September 2024)

Let’s fucking go!!!

This is my fourth time in Palawan, and twice specifically in Coron Islands, and I am still captivated by the beauty and the serenity of this paradise. It wasn’t really my plan to go back here soon, but helloooo piso sale flights plus one of my close friends has invited me to celebrate her birthday there, so why not? 

As soon as we landed, we went on a hike to Mt. Tapyas, located straight in the center of the town of Coron, with rewarding panoramic views of the town, bay, and surrounding islands. It was a short hike, probably about half an hour, but a steep one, but the salt air brushing your cheek and the majestic sunset that welcomes you once you reach the top? August by Taylor Swift would start playing in your ears. Heaven.

After sunset, we went straight to a saltwater hot spring located in the woods, which felt like the middle of nowhere. I hadn’t been to Maquinit Hot Spring the first time I came to Coron, so I made sure I’d get to visit the place because I’ve heard it was hot. WRONG. It was REALLY REALLY HOT. It was super hot, where some people who dipped their toes decided not to go in. That level! We were told to enter the hot spring gradually, like feet first, wait for a couple of minutes, then on your knees, wait again, and so on. But once you have your body acclimated, it is spa-level peak relaxation, all negative energy, poisonous and toxic elements in your body, all GONE. Eme. It was very soothing. I’d like to think that it did something healing and therapeutic for my body because I’ve heard about that regarding natural hot springs. 

After that, we spent the remaining days of our short trip with the usual Coron itinerary go-tos: we went island hopping, swam in open waters such as the world-famous cleanest Kayangan lake and the Malcapuya Island, which to me is still one of the best beaches in the Philippines. Imagine Boracay, but without the crowd and commercial places, but even better, especially for diving, snorkeling, and budget-friendly too! Overall, Coron was always as serene as I experienced it for the first time. If I see another piso sale, I will go back.

So that's it for now. Next stop, I’m taking you to Saigon, Hanoi, Seoul, and Japan. I’m taking you around the world, baybeeeeee. Like I always say on this lil space, it's always an honor to have your ears... or eyes, and here we are still sharing stories in this community freely and unapologetically, keeping this what seems to be an online journal we are willing to have random people get a glimpse of, and I thank you for your time. Part 2 coming right up!

JOSHY.

instagram/tiktok/twitter: joshleyson

[seduzist]

that love, the crazy kind.

guinevere beck x fem! reader

cw: mentions of sexual harassment, stalking, obsession, murder, blood, smut (just a little), reader is kinda joe in this??? idk but they’re both crazy

beck was just different, different from anything you knew, she was the type of person that enchanted since the first time you saw her, looking for some book at the store you worked at. and since this day, you couldn’t stop thinking about her, stalking her anywhere, watch carefully every step she made.

didn’t take more than 10minutes for you to find out she liked girls, it was all over her social media, likes and shares here and there, it was like she was looking almost desperately for a girlfriend. and it has to be you, you were the one.

and of course, after some months of preparation, you showed beck that undeniable truth, she fall for you easily and just like you thought she was the perfect girlfriend. she was understanding and gentle, she was funny, sexy, lovingly, respectful, smart, and all of the things you’ve ever dreamed of.

everything was just how it should be. guinevere beck was just perfect.

until, that night.

one of her terrible friends invited you both to a stupid bar with stupid people and a stupid guy couldn’t stop looking at you. at first, she maintained her calm and silence, she wasn’t the jealous type, not at all.

she didn’t even lose it when he tried to hit you, asking you if he could buy a drink and giving a little drunk smirk that made she wants to take it off his face.

but when you denied the offer politely, telling him you weren’t interested, he tried to touch you, not your arm, or your hand, he tried to grab you by the waist and give you a kiss. of course you pushed him and told him to “get the fuck off”. he did.

beck was so perfect after this, she driven you home, told you to shower, helped you sleep with a nice mug of tea. she made you feel safe and sound like always, but that wasn’t enough, she had to actually keep you safe.

when you slept, she thought about the whole plan, she could stay with you all night, or she could go back to that stupid bar and make that idiot pay for trying to mess with was hers, and the second option looked way better.

so she got back, it was late at night, she waited in the totally empty and dark parking lot. the establishment wasn’t exactly the type that have cams on it, and by this angle she had the perfect view of who enters or leaves.

two hours passed, but beck was still wide awake, then she saw him, staggering pathetically, so drunk that at every step he didn’t fall could be considered a record.

she gets out of the car, approaching him, faking a smile.

“hi!” she said, getting his attention. “want to see something?”

[…]

when beck got back home, her clothes were drained in semi dry blood and she still had shiverings all over her, she did everything right? she got rid of the murder weapon, she disappeared the body, she made sure to drive back home in the way where there’s no cameras.

when beck took her dirty clothes off and went to a good and long shower, she made sure to take a good look at your sleeping figure, to remind her why she did all of this, it was worth it.

but if she truly trusted you and knew about your past, maybe if she had told you about what she did, you would have the opportunity to tell beck that a corpse floats on water after a few days of death, and that amounts of blood can’t go away in laundry, it must be burned.

when she did wake you up, through, it wasn’t to talk, it wasn’t even purposefully, she was just making noises and shaking the bed, when you looked at your side, you saw her, all naked with a pillow between her thighs.

“beck?” you called and she immediately stopped.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to wake you up, baby.” her voice sounded genuinely sorry, but deep inside you knew she wanted you to wake up.

“it’s okay, keep going.” you whispered back, already sitting on the edge of the bed taking off your pajamas.

you couldn’t take your eyes off of her, her perfect body looked so good while pleasuring herself, you felt eager to touch her, but still undressed yourself slowly as she looked at you, like the sight alone made her even hornier.

when you finished, you get on top of her, taking the pillow off of her hands and kissing her instead, it’s like both of you were starving for each other, you didn’t know what made beck so eager but she certainly was.

you passed one leg through her waist, putting both of your centers together, it felt so good and warm, you couldn’t help but moan against her lips, starting in slow movements against her.

but when you looked down at her, you saw it, a little stain of dry blood just above her chest, you stopped immediately.

“what’s this?” you touched her skin, showing her exactly where it was the stain, she stuttered a few times but after some minutes she told you about everything. she thought you would be mad, or scared, she thought you would leave her, but you didn’t.

that night, you both made love more ferociously and lovingly than ever, for hours until your bodies couldn’t move anymore, that was the night when you and beck recognized you were equal, that isn’t a reason to hide each other’s feelings or personalities. that was the night where you felt like you belonged with someone, for the very first time.

[loves0phelia]

Can you do a Matt Murdock metting reader and they hit it off instantly.

( Btw this is my first requesting something )

Promise

Summery: the request

Words: 1.6k

Warnings: alcohol, grammar mistakes (always)

A/N: thank you for requesting I love matt so much and writing for him makes me so happy, also this is far from perfect so i hope you will like it anyway xxx

After a long day at work all you wanted to do was crash, and curl in bed with cheap ramen from a cup, while watching one of your recent favorite shows. Unfortunately, that idea was forgotten when your best friend Celia invited you to a local bar called Josies claiming to need a girls night out.

At first you almost faked being sick or having a late night appointment but you realized it wouldn't be possible to deny your friend.

She knew you were not a going out kind of person, so any excuses would not convince her.

“Come on Y/n, just one drink and I swear if you don't like it we're leaving” she tried reassuring you, and you made a face of disagreement but still followed her in anyways after the breeze made a shiver travel your entire body. That made you realize you should've brought a jacket.

When you entered you immediately noticed the strong smell of beer and whiskey. It was almost overwhelming but the scent kinda matched the looks of the bar which made it feel homey.

“What are you two girls taking?” A lady behind the bar, who was previously wiping a dirty glass asked us.

“I think we'll both take a beer” Celia turned to confirm with you and you nodded.

“Good cause beer and whiskey’s all we got” she grumbled and picked up two bottled beers from underneath the counter where you assumed a fridge was.

Soft jazz music was playing in the background and you could hear the people chit chatting and clinking their bottles. Celia took a sip of her drink and after analyzing around the place she gasped loudly.

“Oh my God y/n It's Matt and Foggy!” she clapped her hands happily.

“Who?” you asked and looked behind you trying to map where her friends were.

“You know,  the guys from the law firm! I worked with them on a case with Marci” Realization became clear on your face after she reminded you.

A couple months ago her colleague Marci had needed help finding information about Wilson Fisk to help her boyfriend’s firm, Nelson and Murdock, and Celia had volunteered. Obviously she had told you all about the sexy blind lawyer who would be “perfect” for you.

”Come on! i'll present them to you” she jumped down her stool and began dragging you to them.

“Celia please no, they are probably trying to enjoy a night together let's not bother them” you tried tugging yourself back but she wouldn't allow it.

“You're too nice, you know that?” Celia replied and before you could beg again one of the two guys, who you assumed was foggy, raised from his chair by the pool table and screamed her name, inviting you over.

“Foggy, Matt, heyy” she said happily, hugging them while you stood awkwardly behind her.

You were always the more introverted one in the duo, but she always tried to bring you out of your comfort zone.

“This is y/n, you know my best friend I told you about” you lifted your hand giving them a small wave and immediately regretted it when you remembered one of them could not see it.

”Hi” your voice was barely above a whisper but you were ignorant to the fact that Matt could hear you loud and clear.

“You guys want a round of shots? Matt and I were just about to get some” the long haired friend suggested and Celia immediately agreed. The two of them left to go back by the bar leaving you and the handsome lawyer alone.

“Y/n right?” his voice surprised you. It was deep but angelic.

“Y-yes” your words caught in your throat now feeling more shy than ever.

“It’s a beautiful name, im Matt but i'm pretty sure you already knew that” he laughed and it was like you had never heard a prettier sound. You nodded your head, unable to utter any words.

“You just nodded didn't you?” your cheeks flushed instantly embarrassed, your eyes grow triple their size.

“I did, I am so sorry, I dont know whats wrong with me” you shake your head and slapped your forehead with your palm the sound echoing loudly in your ears.

“It's okay, it happens all the time” his smile never left his lips.

“That doesn't help” your face was red like a tomato.

“Dont worry about it” his hand laid itself on top of your naked thigh only the tip of his fingers came in contact with your silk dress, his soft touch warmed your skin.

“Silk?” he asked curiously, still running his digits over the fabric.

“Yea when Celia said we were going to the bar i didn't really know what to wear” you snorted now realizing silk was definitely too formal for a bar.

“It's very soft, i like it” once again a charming smile came onto his lips.

“thank you” you smiled back unaware he could feel the heat coming off your body at this very moment.

“We're back! sorry it took so long josie wouldn't let us have our best customer discount again” Foggy pout but put the tray of 6 shots down on the sticky table.

“Drink up guys!” Celia clinked her glass with Foggy’s and then yours and then Matt’s (which cause a small splash of the whiskey to escape down to the floor)

the second the strong liquid came in contact with your tongue, your eyes clenched in pain because of the burn. 

“How can people drink that? it's disgusting” you said and everyone at the table laughed at your sudden outburst.

“It takes a lot of getting used to and a best friend who forces you to drink it” Matt’s hand squeezed your knee while the other two were already getting ready for the second one.

“I guess…” you hesitantly picked up your last shot and on the count of three you repeated the suffering progress.

After hours of chatting and laughing it was already 3 am which meant the bar was closing.

“I'm going to take a cab home, anyone wants to share one?” Celia said while gathering her belongings.

“I think I'm going to walk, my apartment is not too far,” you replied forgetting about the freezing wind outside.

“Are you sure? you know it's supposed to rain also there are some weird people in the street at this hour” she said almost in a motherly way.

“Yes I'm sure, anyway daredevil might save me if I get attacked” you joked and hugged her tightly while she rolled her eyes at you.

“I wouldn't mind taking a cab actually, I need to go back to Marci’s” a drunk Foggy wiggled his eyebrows.

“What about you Matt? need a ride?” he added to his previous statement.

“No, I think I'll walk y/n home. if that's alright?” he gently grabbed your elbow as he unfolded his white cane.

“Of course,” you smiled.

The two drunks said their goodbyes and walked out the door to the yellow cab waiting for them outside as you and Matt started walking back to your house in a comfortable silence.

A shiver traveled your body for the second time during the night and Matt felt your goosebumps raise on your arm as he held it.

He stopped abruptly making you look at him confused as he started removing his suit jacket.

“Here put this on” he draped it over your shoulder and you accepted it wordlessly admiring his beauty and generosity.

He grabbed your elbow again and you both continued the path to your apartment.

After about 10 minutes you spoke up, now seeing your apartment building

“This is me”

“Am i the only one who's disappointed the walk was so short?” he asked while rubbing his thumb on your arm.

You giggled before replying that you were also sad it was cut so shortly.

“You could come upstairs if you want?” Hopefully, you wished he accepted the offer.

“I think it's better if i don't” he sighed and your heart dropped slightly.

“I want to, but tomorrow I have this case I need to work on, and I think that if I came upstairs I wouldn't be able to leave in the morning” his hands were now holding your waist as if he was having his own inner battle whether he should come up or not.

“It's okay I understand” you whispered and he leaned his forehead against yours as if he was wishing you would have asked him to come up anyway.

thunder roared above you.

“You should go before it starts raining” you said and he shaked his head in disagreement.

“Can I kiss you before I go?” His tone was so low.

“please” you pleaded before his plumped lips connected with yours.

His head tilted to the side to deepen the kiss and his hand went up to the back of your head.

Your lips parted allowing his tongue to make its way inside your mouth. Your hands traveled to his hair as well, earning a small growl from him, while you started to feel the cold rain drip down your back and hair.

you broke apart and smiled seeing his red tinted glasses crooked. Slowly you lifted them off his face to see his beautiful amber eyes that had a twinkle in them.

“I should probably give you this, back” you started removing the now drenched jacket but he stopped you.

“Keep it, I'll come get it tomorrow” he smiled and eagerly pressed another kiss to your lips.

“That's a promise?” you whispered against his mouth.

“It's a promise”

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

My Work on Archive Of Our Own

Please ignore if me gushing about the reception of my fics is irritating. I understand there are some people who genuinely hate when fanfic writers do this, so I'm putting it under the cut so you don't have to see it!

(And fair warning; if this irritates you and you still decide to click 'keep reading' and you then decide that I am obviously up myself so I deserve a hate anon or several, I need to preemptively remind you that I gave you the choice not to engage. You will be blocked and I shall call you a silly little guy if you do this.)

I also would like to make this an invitation to anyone who wants to share their proudest stats, or a nice comment they got, or even just something they are really really happy about in having written their fic. (No need to click read more, just go for it and use this as your excuse to show some pride.) On any platform!

Gonna tag the following: @lya-dustin @ewanmitchellcrumbs @the-common-cowgirl @the-wonderland-madnesss @marthawrites

@vampire-exgirlfriend @exitpursuedbyavulcan @emilykaldwen @ripdragonbeans @aegonx

Feel free to turn this into a pass-on game, if you like! We should celebrate the things that make us happy, too. ❤️

I've not ever really posted about this because, IDK, I worry about being considered a conceited asshole. I figure, though, that this is my blog and my safe space and if I want to celebrate something I'm proud of then I should be able to do so. Nor am I implying that I believe this is any sort of metric of popularity or superiority, OR that I write for the sole purpose of validation through clicks and numbers. I have very little interest in engaging with any of that rhetoric. NO. It's just a convenient bonus, kinda like how I love my job and the fact I get paid is awesome but not my primary reason for doing it.

Okay, I think I've got the disclaimers out the way? (Can never be too sure with fandom.)

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reads my stuff. Not only on here, but on Archive Of Our Own, which is more or less a place I consider the Ultimate Fanfiction Site (TM). It used to be fanfiction.net for me, but then their ads got annoying and their content ban gross, so AO3 it is! I've read fanfiction on AO3 since I was like 13, and I still find it crazy beyond belief that my work is not only on there, but that it gets any sort of traction at all.

As a little acknowledgement of something I'm proud of, I wanted to document my stats on my big series, terms of endearment, as of June 2024. It is by and large the biggest project I have ever done, and I've poured countless hours of researching, writing and editing into it.

darilaros (princess)

Words: 48,843 Comments: 254 Kudos: 801 Bookmarks: 111 Hits: 21,971

gevivys (beauty)

Words: 52,147  Comments: 578  Kudos: 2,965  Bookmarks: 490  Hits: 106,019

dōnus riñus (sweet girl)

Words: 58,775 Comments: 660 Kudos: 3,414 Bookmarks: 635 Hits: 141,339

ilībītsos (little slut)

Words: 62,725 Comments: 556 Kudos: 1,880 Bookmarks: 289 Hits: 99,939

ñuhus prūmȳs (my heart)

Words: 104,063 Comments: 1,188 Kudos: 2,274 Bookmarks: 368 Hits: 110,356

jorrāeliarzus (beloved) (ongoing)

Words: 38,451 Comments: 234 Kudos: 454 Bookmarks: 86 Hits: 16,208

That makes for a total of 365,004 words; 3,470 comments; 11,788 kudos; 1979 bookmarks; and 495,832 hits. Jesus Christ.

To everyone who kudos'ed, commented, bookmarked, subscribed or even just clicked on the link to the fic, thank you very much. This series has grown and grown, not just in my head but also in audience. It's given me so much encouragement and support in my writing, and a feeling like maybe I am decent at this? I don't know. I used to write when I was a kid, but I stopped during high school. Rediscovering the joy of it hasn't just been rewarding in terms of having fun with it, but also in discovering that there are people who genuinely want to read what I'm putting out. I've spent a lot of my life feeling powerless and silenced, so this really means so much to me.

I am going to keep on writing for as long as I possibly can, because I genuinely haven't found a hobby as long-lived and fulfilling as this.

Thank you. I'm so very lucky. I'm so grateful. I love you all!

[taydance]

meeting jack

November 28, 2019

Thea Castellanos adjusted the strap of her dress for the third time and tried not to look like she was deeply out of place. She didn’t even know whose kid was running laps around the dining room table or who brought the random tray of spanakopita.

She shifted her Sprite can to the other hand and scanned the room. Nico had disappeared again, probably dragged into some chirp-laced backyard football game with the other guys. A few of the WAGs were gathered on the couch chatting about flights for Christmas, but Thea still didn’t know them well enough to jump in.

She took a sip of her drink and reminded herself—again—that she was allowed to be here. That Nico had wanted her here. Still, it was easier to blend into the wallpaper than pretend she knew how to navigate this world.

“Liebling!” Nico called

Thea turned just as Nico jogged up to her, slightly breathless, hair sticking up in all directions. He had his backwards cap in his hand and was already reaching for her free one.

“Komm mit.” Nico said

He tugged Thea's hand gently.

“I want you to meet Jack.” Nico said

“Wait—who’s Jack?” Thea asked

“Rookie. First overall. Kinda weird but nice. Come.” Nico said

“Babe, slow down—you know I don’t understand half of what you say when you start with the Swiss thing.” Thea said

Nico gave her a teasing smile.

“You understood komm mit.” Nico said

“Only because you say it every time you drag me somewhere.” Thea said

Nico grinned and pulled her along anyway, weaving through the crowd until they reached the back hallway where a tall, lanky teenager was leaning against the wall by the patio door, fidgeting with the drawstrings on his hoodie. He had the anxious look of someone who wasn’t sure if he was invited or just hadn’t been kicked out yet.

“Jack.” Nico said

He clapped Jack on the shoulder.

“This is my girlfriend, Althea.” Nico introduced

Jack looked up too fast and nearly dropped the soda can he’d been holding.

“Oh—uh—hi.” Jack said

His voice cracked slightly as he stuck out his hand.

“I’m Jack. Obviously.” Jack said

Thea smiled as she shook it.

“I’m Thea. It’s nice to meet you.” Thea said

Jack nodded, like that was the only safe thing to do. Nico, unbothered, slung an arm around Thea's shoulders.

“Thea’s a sophomore at NYU. She’s a photographer. And she only just started showing up to these circus parties.” Nico said

Jack gave a shy smile.

“That’s cool. I don’t really know what I’m doing here either. Everyone’s kind of... older.” Jack said

“You’re what, eighteen?” Thea asked, gently

“Yeah.” Jack said

“Mikro.” Thea said

Nico laughed at her Greek and poked her side.

“Was that another insult?” Nico asked

“Not an insult. Just a truth.” Thea said

She raised an eyebrow.

“You’re both children.” Thea said

Jack flushed and looked down at his sneakers.

“I get that a lot.” Jack said

Thea softened immediately. There was something achingly familiar in his awkwardness—he reminded her of her little cousin who never knew where to put his hands in group photos.

“You’re doing fine. It’s always weird being the new one.” Thea said, kindly

Jack glanced up, cautious but grateful.

“Thanks. I feel like I’m still trying to find my spot. Everyone here’s like—already friends.” Jack said

“Du bist mein freund.” Nico said, firmly

Thea turned to him, squinting.

“I caught freund and that’s about it.” Thea said

Nico laughed.

“I told him he’s my friend.” Nico translated

Jack gave Nico a lopsided smile, clearly relieved but still unsure.

“Sorry, Nico’s trying to teach me Swiss-German and I’m trying to teach him Greek, but we’re both kind of terrible at it.” Thea explained to Jack

“I’m not that bad. I said souvlaki right last week.” Nico said

“You said it like a French wine label.” Thea said

“I’m still learning!” Nico argued

Jack watched the two of them bicker with wide eyes and an almost-smile that flickered across his face like he hadn’t used it in a while.

“You guys are funny. Not like... trying-too-hard funny. Just—like real people.” Jack said

Thea blinked, surprised.

“Well. Thanks.” Thea said

“I think I needed that tonight.” Jack admitted

He instantly looked horrified by his own honesty.

“I mean—not that I’m like—having a bad time or anything, I just—uh—” Jack stuttered

Nico clapped him on the shoulder again.

“Relax, Hughes. You’re good.” Nico said

“You wanna sit with us? We were gonna sneak into the other room and find actual food.” Thea said

Jack hesitated for only a second before nodding.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” Jack said

As the three of them slipped away toward the quieter den, Nico leaned down and murmured something soft in Swiss-German, lips brushing Thea’s temple. She didn’t catch all of it, but she caught the rhythm, the intent. And she smiled.

[invisibleraven]

“before you say anything about me being at home tonight, i want to remind you that you are too.”

peterpatterlina

When the Phantoms became big, they found that they were always on the go-performing, recording, rehearsing. Plus all the meetings and promotional things they had to attend, it meant they didn't have a lot of down time. At first, they all thrived on it, loving that they had made their dreams come true, that they got to do all this stuff, when most people their age were sitting in class or working drab 9-5 jobs.

However, it didn't last-they were all tired, and starting to get burnt out, but there was no real let up as they grew bigger and bigger.

Finally Julie got her tia involved, and Victoria negotiated that band got some time off, and slowed down their pace so they could decompress. Julie wasn't sure how she did it-Andi had wanted them to do more, so being given this slack was a blessing.

However, because they had been in each other's pockets for the past few months, they agreed as a band to do their own thing on their nights off, so they didn't get sick of each other. Alex had packed up a bag and headed off to Willie's, and told them that his phone was off unless it was a legi emergency, with a not too subtle glare at Luke.

Julie didn't ask what the other two guys were getting up to-she had a self care night planned. Originally Flynn was going to join her, but then a deadline got moved, so she had to bow out. It sucked, but Julie figured she could still do it all on her own.

She set out her nail polish, her face mask, hair stuff, a tone of snacks, and her favourite trashy movies. She had taken over the living room, and was just about to break out her nail file when Reggie walked in.

“Before you say anything about me being at home tonight, I want to remind you that you are too.”

"Figured you might want to go out," Julie replied. "Do something fun."

"I'm kind of tired of going out almost every night?" Reggie confessed. "Kinda wanted a quiet night in, but I can go out or go up to my room if you need some me time."

Julie hummed, considering. "You can stay if I can give you a manicure."

Reggie held out his hands with a grin. "I like red or black if we're doing polish, but I'm open if you have another idea."

"Hey, are we having a party and I wasn't invited?" Luke asked as he swung over the back of the couch, landing next to Julie.

"No party, I was going to have a little self care night," Julie replied. "I'm gonna do Reggie's nails. You want in?"

"I bite mine too often for that," Luke confessed. "But I could be down for the masks and the movies if you share the chips. Or I could do your toes while you do Reggie."

"You tickle me, you get kicked," Julie stated, offering Luke a bottle of a pretty teal colour before grabbing a sparkly black for Reggie.

Julie was sure Luke would coat her feet in polish, but he was actually quite precise, confessing he used to do this for his mom after she broke her leg skiing one year. Though she had to suppress a shiver when he blew the polish dry.

Reggie admired his nails, and offered to do hers, painting them a nice deep purple, just as precise as Luke, though his tongue poked out of the corner of his mouth as he did. The three of them tossing around gossip and song lyrics alike as the polish dried.

"I'm gonna make smoothies," Julie declared. "You guys pick a movie and then we'll do masks."

"You're cool with us staying?" Luke clarified. "Cuz we can vamoose and leave you to it if you want."

"Yeah, we don't need to intrude on your night," Reggie agreed.

"Nah, it's more fun with other people," Julie stated. "But neither of you are touching my hair when I do it later."

"Understood," Luke said, giving her a mock salute. Reggie looked a little sad about it, but nodded-he was just as particular about his tresses, so he got it.

Julie did take a bit longer to make the smoothies though-just to give herself a moment. One of the big reasons she was bummed that Flynn couldn't make it tonight was that she needed her best friend to vent to. Mainly about the two guys taking over her spa night-guys she had been friends with for ages now, and who she was starting to develop feelings for.

Feelings she wasn’t sure how to handle. For one because they were for Luke and Reggie equally, which was its own set of complications. Secondly because they were her bandmates and best friends so if she said something and they didn’t reciprocate or it went bad, everything would be ruined between them. She had wanted Flynn to reassure her that her feelings would fade, or to set her up with someone so she could move on.

But for now, she would enjoy her night and hold her tongue, and everything would be fine.

Only when she went back out, Reggie was straddling Luke, applying a face mask, his own face coated in a layer of green. “Hi?”

“Luke wouldn’t stay still,” Reggie explained.

“I’m ticklish!”

“On your face?” Julie asked, setting the smoothies down and choosing the sheet mask, applying it in mere seconds. “You guys choose a movie yet?”

Luke nodded at the screen. “Low rent Love Actually for February.”

“Oh this one is so bad,” Julie grinned, and handed Reggie the remote. “Punch it Chewie.”

“I love you,” he said. Reggie always was weak to Star Wars references, so Julie used them to make him smile. Even if she would never admit she had enjoyed watching the movies with them.

“I know.”

“Get a room,” Luke teased.

“We have one,” Reggie said, tossing an arm over Julie’s shoulders, making her blush. “You snuggling or not?”

“Not until we wash the goop off my face,” Luke replied, scrunching his nose. “It’s tight. And itchy.”

“You said you’d do them,” Julie reminded him.

“Hoisted by my own petard,” Luke said with a shrug.

They settled down to watch the movie for a bit, pausing a quarter way through to wash their faces and have a bathroom break.

“This movie is really bad,” Reggie said as they settled back in.

“It really is,” Luke said from where he was leaning on Julie’s other side. “Let’s see how bad it gets.”

“Bad,” Julie stated, snuggling in. Letting herself enjoy the cuddles, the terrible movie, and soon found herself drifting off.

It was a couple hours later that Julie woke up, still tangled up in her boys, but their snacks had been cleaned up, the tv was off, and there was a blanket over them.

And a note on a pink Post It sitting on the table.

You three are adorable together. Maybe do something about that.

❤️ A

Julie blushed, knowing Alex meant to tease. But if he could see it, even with the three of them asleep…maybe it was time to swallow her fears and follow her heart.

But then she yawned, and the tangle of her boys looked so inviting, so she resolved to do something about her feelings-after another nap.

[musicalmoritz]

Akigure from Akito’s pov except it was supposed to be a joke and I got carried away so now it’s half-serious and half-cracked tf up

Akigure from Akito’s pov is so weird because imagine you’re basically god and you have a crush on this guy. But he’s a bit older than you and he’s very distant and on top of that, your toxic mother is raising you as a boy so you’re pretty sure you don’t have a chance, even though you believe he should love you for your status. You’re kinda convinced he doesn’t fw you because everyone else dotes on you except for him. Still, you want him to like you so one day you build up the courage to ask him if he loves you. You’re probably bracing yourself for disappointment, he’s all aloof and mysterious so at best you don’t expect him to be direct. But this guy picks a flower, takes your hands, and tells you that you are the most important thing to him. And then after that he goes back to ignoring you

Years pass and nothing happens, you start hooking up with this other dude but he’s really only doing it out of pity so it’s kinda sad. Since nothing came of the flower situation, you assume the original guy has forgotten about it. Then, out of nowhere, he fucks your mom. The one person in your life who freely treats you like shit and is always in competition with you. The woman who constantly tells you that no one really loves you and that everyone is going to leave you someday. So you’re like “damn I guess he really goes hate me” and you banish him from your property. He takes your best friend/cousin (?) that you’ve been taking out your pain on and basically holding captive with him but you don’t really care because you just want him gone. You’re angry and hurt, and you decide to leave him before he can leave you. But you can’t bring yourself to stay away from him entirely, you crave human connection, you crave him, and so you let him visit every once in awhile

Anyways shortly after that you learn that he’s taken in some random homeless girl and your other cousin who you hate and refuse to associate with. They’re all living together with your ex-bestie like a happy little family and it’s hella annoying. But he asks you nicely if he can keep them around and, well, you decide to be a generous god for once

A lot of shit happens, you don’t vibe with the homeless girl at all because she’s a reminder that there are good and selfless people in this world who are easily loved and you are so far from that. The guy gives you a paper flower for Valentine’s Day just like the real one he gave you all those years ago, and you’re taken aback because you were so sure he’d forgotten about that. He’s hard to talk to though so you guys don’t really discuss it. Plus he fucked your mom so there’s that

The big confrontation happens at a dinner party, you invite him and his family and he chooses to ignore you all night. Of course he does, that’s all he’s ever done. You request that he meet you alone so you can lecture him, and all the pent-up anger comes out. You tell him that you’ve always known he’s hated you, that he’s always been the farthest from you and you knew he would someday leave you. You ask him to admit that he likes your mother better than you, because it’s pathetically easy to believe. No one is obligated to love her the way they are you, and the one person you’ve never felt stable with chose her over you in a heartbeat. You tell him to say he likes her better to your face, but he does no such thing. Instead, he reaffirms that promise he made all those years ago. You are the most important thing to him, and he loves you more than anything

Then you guys finally [redacted], and it’s probably the best either of you have ever had because for him it’s always been you and you’re highkey fine af; and lbr that other dude was NOT taking you to the finish line. Frustratingly, he leaves before you wake up the next morning because once a bitch always a bitch. That only makes you more mad because this dude could not be more confusing

More shit happens, you stab your pity boyfriend and spiral into your redemption arc. Then the homeless girl falls off a cliff after telling you it’s okay to start over, which is kinda sad because you showed up to kill her but she’s lowkey an Empath. You run to the guy in a fit of panic and he calms you down and tells you to explain what happened. While you wait for Scorned Cousin and Ex-Bestie to save Homeless Girl, he gives you his jacket (gotta break the pov for this one- omg this scene is so cute and no one ever talks abt it)

*clears throat*

So you’ve fully decided to apologize to the people you hurt and turn your life around. No more of this god business, which means you have to face the terrifying possibility that people may leave you. You may not be loved, in fact that is something you’re going to have to work for after all you’ve done. Not with this man though. In the very end, he stays by your side. Now that you’ve given up your power and found your humanity, he is there to welcome you with open arms. And it’s very jarring at first, you think he’s going to leave you so you lash out because you always knew he hated you. At least, you thought you did. You were wrong, because then he’s giving you a gift and reaffirming that he loves you, that you’re the only one he wants. He tells you he’ll stay by your side forever, that he’ll help you run your clan and do whatever it takes you have a happy life with you. Only if you want it though. He gives you the day to think it over, stubbornly promising to leave forever if you don’t meet him by the end of the day

You wear his gift, your first feminine outfit, as you go to apologize to your family. You set everyone free and vow to spend the rest of your life repenting for all you’ve done. Some forgive you, some don’t. When it’s over, you return to him. You realize that his vagueness lowkey does smth for you and give a weird yandere-ish thirst monologue about it. Then, you take your place alongside him. He has chosen to stay with you after everything, and you are coming to understand that it is because you are all he’s ever wanted. He’s a dick about it but you suppose his tough love approach did kinda humble you in the way you needed. Now if only someone would humble him

Somehow, you guys make it work. It takes some time, but you end up getting married and raising a cute little son together. You’d be mad at all the shit he pulled but ehhhh you’re actually kind of worse so you guys match each other’s freaks. And then you live happily ever afterrrrr <3

[sketchehm]

https://www.tumblr.com/sketchehm/769537190891012096/omg-so-thats-so-fun-because-idk-if-people-know?source=share

aww baby :((( Imagine him also kinda feeling conflicted bc he doesnt want to leave dream's family, specially after all the breakdown and the backstabbers but still wants to keep this new one.

One day maybe sapnpa cant with the guilt and ends up telling them and the mafia is gonna kill dream and sapna doesnt know what to do bc he wants to protect his brother but he doesnt want to fight

I fell asleep thinking more about this au and woke up to this ask and held out most of my day to get my thoughts collected (and they're still not all there pfft) and this is all some general blabbing so like...don't expect TOO much from this

In my head Dream's family is all kinda in disarray and people are seeing it as a chance to take it down (which does not happen!!) but Dream is so much more.....overprotective(?) Of the closer members

But! There's still buisness to deal with and with Team Mafia still kinda lurking about and Q's empire slowly growing, gotta make some moves.... the convo between him and Sapnap and George is heavy and how it comes down to the realization that Sapnap has to infiltrate to help take down Team Mafia to get some notoriety back to Dream's family (cause violence in the underworld yay!) Dream doesn't *want* to really send Sapnap to do this, but they got no other ties to even attempt to speak with the opposing family. And sapnap promises he'll be back one day!! (This is a set up for angst :^D)

The meeting with them is set up, the trade happens, and Sapnap now has to learn spanish lmao

I can imagine the shenanigans Sapnap goes through with Twam Mafia and how he expected these like...super serious people and it was gonna be hard to even gain someone else's trust besides Shadounes, but they welcome him with open arms....AND LIKE kindness is not some common thing in this line of work! Everyone is always on edge with everyone and finding people you can truly trust has always been hard to come by and what he went through in Dream's family was a dark reminder of it all.....

Yet Team Mafia really do accept him fully, so much so they reveal the plan to take down Dream's family since it's so much smaller now....

I can imagine Sapnap being invited to speak with the Don and Sapnap was always been nervous around him(he swears ElRich knows Sapnap is there as a mole) but then this is revealed to him and his whole world comes crashing down.

And he thinks he can convince them to not do that, surely! Theyre...friends now! Whatever friends might mean to each other here....They'll listen to him! And then they don't.

And admittedly....sapnap hasn't done a good job at relaying info back to dream cause he didn't want dream to do the same....but they'll listen to him more if he admits that! Cause haha, both you guys had similar plans of taking each other down and now that doesn't have to happen! Dream is a good ally! Sapnap can convince him, they can be united! And sapnap doesn't have to choose! Doesn't have to lead one of them to be dead....

And like....admitting you're a spy is like *rough*. And people don't take that too kindly....and it feels like betrayal to other people too....so um....sapnap is gonna have it rough there

I can only imagine as well Sapnap coming to the realization that all of them being so nice and kind to him was part of the plan to take down Dream....that's gonna cause a whole other mess of inner turmoil for him and not knowing if there really was any kind of bond or if he was just being used....

Sapnap will be faced with the "you either stay with us now and help or we can kill you rn and the rest of Dream's family soon after"

If only there was a bigger bad to unite them all 😔(cause sapnap's proposed, 'we can all be friends guys!!!', plan.... it ain't working out)

Haha anyways :^)

[batsplat]

what did you think of pecco accusing alex of crashing him out on purpose and once again reigniting the vr46 vs marquez feud

oooh boy anon. I've existed peripherally on various motogp-related social media platforms for quite a few years now without giving my immediate hot takes to various controversies, including and most importantly the rossi/marquez ones, and I'm not entirely sure I want to change that policy now

look, I'm mainly happy pecco seems more or less all right, because that was a really really scary crash and pecco spent much of the weekend flirting with serious injury. a lot of it was far too reminiscent of catalunya last year for my liking, and sometimes it's just worth remembering that riders are human beings who do get scared too. I'll keep my initial reaction to the incident as well as where I'm at now to myself. primarily since it's one of those incidents where my view has changed quite a few times after seeing it again, seeing different angles, seeing and listening to various opinions on it - which to me shows I don't have the tools to assess what 'really' happened (if anyone does). I'm not willing to take a firm stance on it, though I'd be interested to hear what various involved parties say at misano

all that being said, at the end of the day I just... don't massively mind what pecco said. riders accusing each other of playing dirty in crashes is something that existed before argentina 2018, it is something that will exist after this feud has run its course (aka once the concept of italy has finally been abolished). sometimes riders do invite contact without literally wanting to kill each other because it's a specific response to a specific racing situation. these debates are nothing new. I do get releasing a statement saying that crashing someone out deliberately isn't part of the dna of the sport but also, like, dorna's safety adviser infamously did that shit. so, y'know. it wasn't a nice thing of pecco to say, it probably wasn't all that smart - but this is also simply what happens sometimes when you put a mic in front of a rider who has just had an awful, at times terrifying day and has been knocked around a few too many times at frighteningly high velocities. it's even something non-italians have been known to do on occasion. I take more issue with the immediate vitriol of fan responses, but that does feel kinda unavoidable at this point. obviously, pecco is aware of who he is and of who alex marquez is - you see an incident sometimes and know the discourse will be 'bad', but I didn't clock immediately quite how bad it would be and pecco does ultimately share some responsibility for that. which is an interesting choice to make, one I'm still thinking my way through

at the end of the day, however, I would prefer to watch a version of the sport where riders sometimes say some wildly controversial shit about each other. it'd be nice if everyone didn't immediately lose their minds and quite a few of their morals too in response to those statements, but it does mean I'm not all that interested in condemning any riders for this kind of thing. I'm not interested in condemning anyone in general, that's just not really how I engage with sports. I'm interested in how this plays out from here - but it has reminded me personally of how I don't actually get a whole lot from interacting with social media fanbases in this sport, and it's time to make use of my rather stricter curation policy from circa... oh, I don't know, maybe 2018. which I have done! and was already increasingly enacting before this weekend. I don't want my enjoyment of the sport - including engaging with controversies like this, once the dust has settled and it's clear neither rider is 'seriously injured' (for a given meaning of those words) - to be tainted by already preemptively fearing the tone in which people will discuss a certain incident. sometimes you do just have to make the call for yourself to... make yourself unaware of the discourse from fans, to take the sport on its own terms. I'm interested in seeing how this situation develops and I'm interested in what it says about pecco, that's it really

oh, reading through the ask again - about the feud, I don't really have a take about that yet either beyond 'huh' and 'wonder how that'll play out'. the extent to which pecco (and his fellow academy members) engages or refuses to engage with that feud has always been fascinating to me, the feud's transitive properties are obviously crazy and ever so intriguing - but I won't have any takes on that until I see what tone he strikes when he's not just been dragged along under a bike at a high speed (even if he doubles down on his comments! which I'm guessing he will). also, it is always kinda funny when the sport has awful timing. it is kinda funny they're going to misano next for like a month

[peakyswritings]

The Danger We Come From

CHAPTER III

A Peaky Blinders x Hunger Games crossover

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Nina Ferrante

Summary: It’s the second day of training for Lucas and Nora, and Nina’s making up strategies in order to keep them alive. Meanwhile, one of her worst memories comes to the surface.

Warnings: mentions of violence and killing, mentions of canon SA and forced prostitution, mentions of open wounds and blood, English is not my first language, no proofreading.

A/N: this chapter is kinda heavy, hence the reason why I disappeared and basically isolated myself from the world to write it. One part, although not fully described, is quite gruesome. Read carefully. Rose is @justrainandcoffee ‘s OC.

Nina Ferrante is the OC from my Tommy Shelby x OC series Heart, Body and Soul (set in canon times)

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

AU MASTERLIST

72nd Hunger Games - District 9’s Apartments

Standing in front of the mirror, Nina carefully applied a soothing balm over the reddened, stinging scar, gritting her teeth. It had been less than a year since the wound had reopened, after the Victory Tour, meaning it still hadn’t healed properly. The left side of her face often felt numb, and on some mornings the itching and burning threatened to make her lose her mind. That was one of those mornings.

She had got it during her last fight, in the Arena, moments before she stabbed the Career boy to death, directly staining her hands with blood for the first and last time. A gruesome reminder of what the Capitol had turned her into.

She couldn’t even bear to look in the mirror, sometimes. But that disappeared when she remembered that scar was all that stood between her and the Capitol. It wasn’t easy on the eye, too nasty to be looked at. They wanted pretty faces.

The Capitol - Two weeks after Nina’s Victory Tour

A special invitation, they had said. Only for the most loved victors. That statement had made Nina raise her eyebrows. She wasn’t sure she was exactly loved by the Capitol. During her speeches, not once had she praised the Capitol or President Snow as it was customary, not once had she let a smile crack her hardened expression, or laughed at Caesar’s poor attempts to make a joke during the interview. No, she probably wasn’t one of the most loved victors. It wasn’t like she had a choice, though. That wasn’t an invitation, that was an order, no matter how nicely extended.

Walking next to the man who had been delegated to escort her, Nina took in her surroundings. The Grand Hall was buzzing with people, yet the atmosphere was quite different from the festive one she had been immersed into at the parties she had been forced to join during the Victory Tour. It didn’t take her long to guess that the men and women there all belonged to the same limited circle of people. They talked among themselves in business-like tones, holding glasses of champagne in their hands, taking looks around the room from time to time.

But they weren’t the only people there. Squinting her eyes, Nina was able to spot a few familiar faces. In the right corner of the room, talking to an old man, there was a guy who seemed to be in his 20s, with tanned skin and brown curls. On the other side, a blonde girl with a bright smile was entertaining a couple. They were victors. She remembered watching the guy’s Games the year of her first reaping, and the young woman was one of District one’s mentors. A heavy feeling settled in her stomach as she noticed the strange look the the guy’s eyes, and how forced the girl’s smile was.

“Why are we here again?” She furrowed her eyebrows, turning to look at her escort, but her question was left unanswered as he didn’t even look at her. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

Whatever that thing was, it wasn’t a simple event. A mixture of dread and realisation fell upon her when one of the victors walked out of the room with an older woman by his side, entering a corridor she hadn’t noticed before. Only now was she starting to put the pieces together. The secret invitation, the lack of answers, and ultimately the way they had dolled her up for the occasion, with a satin little dress and a bow in her hair. Nina had never believed in anything, yet in that moment she found herself praying to whatever might be up there that her suspicions were wrong.

She could run away. She was fast, and no one would expect it. She could say that she needed to go to restroom, and find a way out. She could…

“Ever taken a man, love?” A gravel voice reached her ears, violently snapping her out of her thoughts, and her heart dropped at those words. A man who looked like he might’ve been in his fifties was now standing in front of her, his eyes piercing through her.

Thinking, hoping, she had misheard what he had said, Nina glanced at her escort, but again he didn’t even set his gaze on her. “What?” She stammered, her lower lip trembling.

“I said - have you ever taken a man?” The man repeated enunciating his words, a hint of impatience in his tone.

Nina took a step back, her heart hammering in her chest, her hands shaking. Unable to utter a single word, she just shook her head. The man reached his hand out and grabbed her chin in his fingers, taking a good look at her, and a shiver of disgust ran down her back at the contact. She hoped he’d notice the scar on her face, that it would turn in away, but she knew that wouldn’t happen. The surgeons had made a very good job with her, turning a ragged slash into a barely noticeable white line.

After what felt like an eternity, the man nodded to himself. “You have a pretty face,” he murmured, letting go of her chin to twirl a lock of her dark hair between his fingers.

No. No, please, no.

Putting his hands in his pockets, he casually turned to her escort. “How much do you want for me to break her in?”

-

Sitting in the bathtub with her knees drawn up, Nina blankly stared at an indefinite point in front of her. She had scrubbed her skin until it reddened and itched, and even that wasn’t enough to cancel the feeling of that man’s hands and body on her. Sore and with her head throbbing, too exhausted to think and with no tears left to cry, she just wished she could close her eyes and make everything go away. Instead, what happened kept on replaying in her mind, not allowing her a moment of peace.

Ever taken a man, love?

Resting with her chin on her knees, she squeezed her eyes shut, digging her nails in her own arms. A shudder went through her. She just wanted to go home.

How much do you want for me to break her in?

Nina only hauled herself out when the water went cold, and mechanically wrapped a towel around her body. When she opened a cabinet to search for a toothbrush among all the items that the room offered, something else caught her eye. A razor.

You have a pretty face.

A terrible idea started to make its way into her head, waking her up from the sort of trance she had fallen into a couple of hours ago. She grabbed the razor and turned it in her hand, before raising her gaze to look at herself in the mirror. She observed the thin, white line that crossed the left side of her face, from her eyebrow to her cheek, and her surgeon’s words resounded in her head. We fixed your face. No one would stand to look at you otherwise.

Nina’s heart started to race at the realisation of what she was considering to do, and she wondered if she’d actually be able to do something like that to herself. It was frightening how that idea, in all its atrocity, brought her a faint sense of comfort. No one would use her again, not like that.

Impulsively, she grabbed the first heavy item she found and used it to smash the razor. Once she managed to extract one of the small blades, she looked in the mirror again. She just had to be careful to avoid her eye.

She took a ragged breath, taking a moment to convince herself that it was the only thing she could do, that she wasn’t hurting herself, she was protecting herself. That going through what she had just gone through again and again would be way more painful. Tightly holding the edge of the sink, she raised the blade to her face, her hand shaking uncontrollably.

It was the only thing she could do.

The excruciating pain and the crimson blood staining the ceramic sink as she dragged the blade along the scar only added to the horrors of that night, and still they were nothing compared to the shame and disgust that man had imprinted on her. She never talked about it. Whenever someone asked about her face, she simply answered that the wound had reopened, and no matter how fake it sounded, people never inquired further. Because believing a bad lie was easier than handling a truth even nastier than that scar.

Nina put the balm back in the cabinet, recollecting herself. It was in the past, she had closed the door on it. Now she had a job to do, and she couldn’t afford to lose focus. It was the second day of training for Lucas and Nora, meaning that they only had two days to practice what they were good at and learn something new. And they had to be ready for the scores, the interviews, anything that could convince the sponsors that they were worth betting on.

At the breakfast table, Nina played with the food in her plate while thinking about a way to get some sponsors for the kids. She wasn’t exactly popular among the Capitol citizens, and she wasn’t the most charismatic person either. But there must be something she could do to convince them that Lucas and Nora had a chance to win. She made a mental note to focus on the kid’s skills that day, so that she could use them in their favour. Lucas had his strength, which was valuable, but Nora’s skills involved basic survival, and that didn’t appeal to the sponsors. Although she could use the situation to her own advantage and not become a target, something told Nina that wouldn’t be enough. They needed all the help they could get.

Meanwhile, the kids talked with Rose about the interview’s costumes. She was sweet with them, and it was clear that talking about how beautiful they would look was a way to take their minds off all the ugliness. That was something that Nina couldn’t understand, a year prior. She thought that just like everybody else working for those damned Games, she was eager to put on a show. But it didn’t take her long to figure that wasn’t the case. Now she could see that all that apparent shallowness and excitement were nothing but an act, and that there was much more behind the mask she wore everyday.

Elle was very much engaged in the conversation, too, as talks about fine fabrics and elaborate clothes were like music to her ears. While Nina’s first impression of Rose had drastically changed, after a whole year Elle still had a way of getting on her nerves. She wasn’t mean, but sometimes she felt just too empty headed, as if the fact that the kids she was escorting were being sent to their deaths never crossed her mind. The first time Nina had found herself in the same room as her, she had wondered if there was even a single thought behind those eyes. However, it was safe to say she had grown to tolerate her more, and that her urge to grab her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her had become a lot easier to resist.

Eventually, Nina came to the conclusion that for Nora it would be best to refine her trap building skills for the training scores. If she was quick and the trap was good, she could make quite the impression on the sponsors. In the meantime, she would do anything in her power to help the kids win over the Capitol citizens. If the right people decided to support them, it would drastically increase their chances. Because things like medicine, covers and more weapons did make a difference, and only sponsors could provide them. And if one of them won the Games, she’d make sure that he or she wouldn’t go through what she had to go through. She’d strike a bargain, she could do it.

Because an ugly scar wasn’t the only thing Nina had gotten that horrible night. She got a secret. A very valuable one, one that would put a target on Coriolanus Snow’s back, and turn all of his entourage against him. That secret might cost her her life, but it was a price she was willing to pay if it meant to watch Snow fall.

NEXT CHAPTER

@call-sign-shark @justrainandcoffee @evita-shelby @emotionalcadaver

[alpaca-clouds]

When White (or allistic?) people travel...

I am gonna travel a bit next week. Well, "a bit" really means: I am gonna dip across the border for a few days into the Netherlands (I am living really close to the border) and bike around a bit. At least as long as the weather is gonna play along.

But it has reminded me of this one thing I always saw when I was traveling.

And I am to this day not entirely sure whether it is a white people thing or an allistic people thing. And that is this need to travel often into a fantasy land.

Now, there are those people who will travel to some hotel ressort and hang at the beach for ten days. Which is valid. Laziness is a myth. All power to you. Just consider to maybe not do it on indigenous land. (No, really. The gif is there for a reason. Do not travel to Hawai'i.)

But there is this other kind of travel happening too. The travel, where you wanna see this other country - but not as it really is, but this idealized fantasy version of it.

I most often saw this in relation with Japan. Because let's face it. A ton of people, who are into Japan, are into Japan because of anime and the stuff they have "learned" through anime, with maybe some Japanese self-mythology put into it when it comes to stuff like honor and samurai and what not. And then they travel to Japan and are very, very disappointed, because the Japan they arrive in is not anime!Japan, but just another place. Another speck of earth so to speak. Where just normal people live, not anime characters. Sure, there are cool shrines and temples to visit. But all in all it is just a place like any other. It is not fantasy.

But it is a thing I have seen with a lot of white people travelling. They do not want to visit a place but the fantasy version of that place. Like, with Hawai'i they wanna go palm beach, hula dancing, aloha and what not. They do not wanna go to a place where the indigenous population is exploitated and gets further and further pushed from their land. If they go to South Africa, they wanna go to this trendy place, watch some whales and what not, not see the rampant poverty and crime. Or when they go visit Greece, they wanna see that country with those nice ruins and stuff, eat some good food, and once again not be confronted with the poverty.

I still remember when I was a teenager and got send onto this Christian youth trip to Corfu, Greece. Now, it was knda funny, because it was a Christian youth trip - but our hostel was right next to the local brothel. But the pimp was actually a super nice guy, just so you know. Like, I got bullied on that trip by some of the other teens and at one time he just threatened those bullies to set his dog onto them, before inviting me and my friends over for dinner.

Now, the entire trip was two weeks and every day there was the option to go somewhere. Either to the beach or to see some sights. I did not go along. Partly because of the bullying, partly because I never got the idea of "seeing the sights". Instead I made friends with some local kids and hung out with them. At times I went with them on some trips they did with their families... And the irony is: I have seen much more of that island than anyone else on that trip. Just not... the ruins and stuff, that everyone else wanted to see. But I saw a farm where I got to taste some fresh honey, got a street dog to the vet, somehow ended up on a small fishing boat, was at a party where a kid got babtized, and visited a couple of villages that usually tourists just drive through. I learned a lot about the place and how the people live there.

And I do realize that it is not feasable for everyone from that group of 60 teens to just do that. I get that. But I also have to wonder... What is the value to visit the same ruin that has already been photographed like 2 million times?

Again, I get hanging at the beach. I do. But... looking at stuff that I can look at online? Yeah, no.

I guess what my rambling is aiming at...

Tourism kinda sucks. And even the entire idea, that it somehow helps the communities just does not really match the reality. Because the truth is that the money generated through communism mostly gets gobbled up by big companies, while the tourism at the touristy places also makes everything more expensive for the people who actually live their.

And tourists just do not want to see the people actually living there. They are not interested in the real place. Just in a fantasy. A fantasy that the tourism sector tries to uphold.

But it is... not really good, is it?

Like, hundreds of people or even thousands visiting either ruins or cultural heritage sites is not actually a good thing. It harms the environment and everything. And in the end it also hurts the people actually living around it. And they kinda have more of a right to be there than any tourist.

We really need to rethink how we travel and how we vacation. Because this isn't it.

[an-odd-idea]

Tumblr ate it before, here is the full narrative in all its fanficcy glory, except it was an actual dream that I actually had. Unintentional Succession and figure skating rpf fanfic about Ilia Malinin (the guy who skated to music from the show)

At the beginning of the dream, I somehow find myself in The Wilderness, I Guess, with no idea how I got there or what I was previously doing, as dreams tend to go. Some rich people bring me onto their boat and are sorta nice to me but the vibes are also way off, especially this one old guy, he reminds me of my impression of the dad from Succession, I think, and he starts acting like he thinks I was there to spy on him and not just hopelessly confused after getting lost and being invited onto his boat. I’m starting to get a little concerned about this whole situation, which I should have been a long time ago but my brain wasn’t working, but Ilia shows up out of nowhere like “no it’s cool, I know her” and invites me to come home with him and his family (the rich people on the boat)

I accept this impromptu invitation because in the dream, he and I go to the same college and kind of know each other but aren’t really close, and it still seems like a smart and wise decision at the time. Also I’m still confused in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of kinda intimidating strangers and at least I know who he is.

Immediately it becomes even clearer, his family is rich, like filthy, disgusting rich, he doesn’t even have any idea how rich they are, and half of them don’t either. Also, there is Tension afoot. I don’t know any details, of course, but I know #FamilyTension when I see it. Something about the grandfather getting old and who he’s going to pass the company on to, and everybody wants it, and everybody’s kind of an asshole about it and also just in general. Except Ilia who just seems a little lost in he middle of it all, like he’s not quite sure how he got there either. They’re kind of awful to him, but they’re just awful all the time.

“Like Succession,” I think. What a distressingly personal music choice. I wonder if they know.

I have not seen Succession, but I have seen a gif of the scene where the guy laughs and the other guy says “laugh at the same volume as everyone else- we didn’t adopt you from the hyena farm.”

Immediately, that happens. Verbatim.

Am I- are we- I look at Ilia. He looks back at me, frightened? Pained? Silently pleading with me to understand something a human mind can hardly be asked to comprehend?

I keep my mouth shut and my eyes and ears open.

Now, not only is the family kinda fucked up and, well, Succession-y, they’re also weird. They’re just weird. They’re weirdly quiet, like they’re tiptoeing around everyone all the time. There’s this weird, almost cult-like devotion to the grandfather who currently owns the company and who we only rarely see- they all hate him, but they also fawn over him, and he almost never leaves his office, a place that begins to hold such inexplicable dread for me that I can hardly stand to walk past the door.

They’re also weird about me.

“Just a friend,” Ilia said, but I don’t think the family got the memo because they’re acting like we’re getting married. Or… no, that’s not really the vibe, do they think he like “Congratulations, you’re my sister now, I just have to get the fam to approve” because that IS the vibe especially after they just sort of picked me up like a stray cat from the edge of the lake but like- what. Or do they think I’m trying to join their weirdo secret society grandfather-worshipping cult thingy, because I can assure them- anyway, whatever, they’re weird and I don’t think they like me.

His aunt is always scribbling notes whenever she’s around me and passing them on to the grandfather. I sneak a look once- “fidgets with hands too much while speaking; smiles too big” which were things I had just done as we spoke a second ago. For some reason, I’m less self-conscious and more… maybe starting to fear for my life. Just a little.

Maybe it’s just normal weird family stuff, but somehow it feels way more serious than that. It’s all giving me vibes of at least two movies and a music video where the guy brings a girl home and his family tries to like sacrifice her or something, except instead of some ritual I’ll be sacrificed on the alter of family image, I guess, also known as murdered for being a little awkward. I’ve been trying really hard to be polite and act like it’s all normal and stuff, but finally I have to ask, and finally there’s a moment with no family members creepily taking notes on my every muscle contraction.

“Ilia, be honest. On a scale of one to ten, how worried should I be about your family?”

And he’s like, “They’re not my family. They think they’re my family, and as long as they do, I’m- not safe, but safe-er. I can’t really protect you, but if they think I’m someone to them and you’re someone to me, I mean, I can probably keep you from mysteriously turning up missing?”

And I’m like, “Ilia.”

And he’s like, “You know Succession? You recognized the hyena farm line, at least. We’re in the show. We need to play along, and then we need to get out.”

And I’m like. I don’t know what I’m like. I’m just. Like.

And he goes on, “I’ve never fought anyone, but I’m a figure skater and they’re all oldish and don’t do anything except worry about inheriting the company and sabotaging each other- I can take them, hopefully. But seriously, they don’t want to hurt me, same for you as long as you don’t seem like someone who’ll hurt the family image, but if they find out I’m not actually family, now we know all this stuff about them and the company, and we’re not even supposed to be in this story… things happen. We’re just characters.”

“I’d like to get out right now.” I have grand plans of climbing out a window and making my escape that very night. I take another look at him and try to find my real memories, the ones that aren’t part of the show Succession, apparently. “We’ve never met in real life, have we. That’s okay, you get me out of here, and I’ll give you a ride to wherever your actual family is.”

“We can’t escape that way. We have to get to the right point in the story.”

“Well how did we get stuck in this stupid show in the first place?”

We’ve been whispering together in the darkened kitchen, but like a bolt of lightning, we’re illuminated by the light from the hall as his “aunt” stands silhouetted in the doorway.

“Dad wants to see you.”

I woke up shortly thereafter and didn’t get to find out what happened, but when I tell you I was scared