#but it's the IDEA behind it. the concept. and the execution. plus it looks cool!

[heavenlyhoundoom]

Me roasting Johto.

Chikorita: AKA, Johto's biggest punching bag.

Bayleef: I can't believe this pokemon was originally going to look nothing like its pre - or post evolution!

Meganium: The most forgettable final grass starter.

Cyndaquil: How does it feel having Fuecoco take all the credit for breaking the Chinese Zodiac theory?

Quilava: Or the sausage shrew as I like to call it.

Typhlosion: I can't believe Gamefreak took away its idle neck flames for nearly a decade!

Totodle: The Feucoco for water type fans.

Croconaw: (cue Flintstones theme song here)

Feraligatr: I can't stop thinking of that infamous back sprite that made it look like it was thicc.

Sentret: (Engineer voice) Spy is sapping my sentret!

Furret: Oh, look, it's a ground type! No, wait, the anime's just stupid.

Hoothoot: Its name is literally just the sound its real-life counterpart makes.

Noctowl: Sorry, Noctowl, but the other regional birds are just cooler than you.

Ledyba: Look at that thousand yard stare. There's not a single thought behind those eyes.

Ledian: If it didn't look it up, I would've never guessed that it was based on a superhero.

Spinarak: You're not a true spider, you only have six legs!

Ariados: You have the most forgettable signature move.

Crobat: I feel like Gamefreak just decided to slap the friendship evolution onto it because they could.

Chinchou: What's with the plus sign eyes?

Lanturn: Look out, Seel and Dewgong, you got competition for the least creative name.

Pichu: I can't believe pichu has a special form that's just it having a tuff of fur on its ear.

Cleffa: Was this pokemon really necessary?

Igglybuff: For real, the idea of bouncing and never being able stop is terrifying!

Togepi: The poster child for baby pokemon.

Togetic: That neck though.

Natu: It looks like it's judging me.

Zatu: I feel bad for it, since it's in constant dread due to seeing horrible futures.

The Mareep line: Beep beep, I'm a sheep. I said beep beep, I'm a sheep.

Bellossom: How does it feel to be shorter than your pre evolution?

Marill: (Insert pikablu joke here)

Azurill: The water bunny egg pokemon.

Sudowoodo: What if I bring out the hose?

Politoad: We finally have a frog pokemon that actually looks like a frog.

The hoppin line: Dendelion, a million little wishes blowing across the sky.

Aipom: No thoughts, head empty.

Sunkurn: The most useless pokemon.

Sunflora: Boring...

Yanma: One rock throw, and you're dead.

Wooper: The derpy pokemon.

Quagsire: The Family Guy pokemon.

Espeon: How does it feel to be overshadowed by your edgy counterpart?

Umbreon: You know people only like you because you're edgy, right?

Murkrow: I'm glad it got an evolution later on because it really needed it.

Slowking: Despite being a genius, you still look so derpy.

Misdreavus: This was the most random pokemon to get a paradox form.

Unown: Cool concept, poor execution.

Wobbuffet: Jessie's comedic relief pokemon.

Girafarig: Its beta design is proof that sometimes less is more.

Pineco: Am I the only one who wants to know what it actually looks like?

Foretress: Stop exploding and let me catch you, dammit!

Dunsparce: Remember when people wanted Drampa to be your evolution?

Gligar: Its color pallet is so consistent.

Steelix: You're no crystal onix.

Snubull: Too bad you're only known for being a bitch thanks to the anime.

Granbull: Are those tusks under your lips painful?

Qwilfish: Anyone hungry for some fugu?

Scizor: Big meaty claws!

Shuckle: Dorkly's biggest punching bag.

Heracross: Its female gender difference makes almost as little since as Wobbuffet's.

Sneasel: Why wasn't this a version exclusive alongside gligar, it would've made more sense.

Teddiursa: It's so cute, I wanna hug it forever!

Ursaring: Oh God, never mind!

Slugma and Magcargo: It was cruel to put these pokemon in the Hoenn region.

Swinub and Piloswine: No one cared about you until you got an evolution in Sinnoh.

Corsola: Just like Primape, no one cared about you until you died. That's just sad.

Remoraid: The urge to hold this pokemon like a pistol is killing me!

Octillery: You could've been so interesting, but they had to censor your design!

Delibird: 🎶It's Christmas all over again, yeah again!🎶

Mantine: It looks like it's starting into my soul, and I don't like it.

Houndour and Houndoom: I hate how these pokemon were locked behind post game!

Kingdra: Why does it look so pissed?

Phanpy: No, Phanpy, I do not find you destroying my home cute just because you were only playing!

Donphan: I'm a tire.

Porygon2: Porygon2, Electric Boogaloo!

Stantler: Do you think Delibirduses this pokemon to pull its sleigh?

Smeargle: Probably the most gimmicky gimmick pokemon to ever gimmick.

Tyrogue: No, anime, Tyrogue evolves into either Hitmonchan, Hitmonlee, or Hitmotop, not the other way around.

Hitmontop: It's beyblade!

Smoochum: You think they wouldn't give a baby form for such a controversial pokemon so early on.

Elekid: Hey, could you please charge my phone for me?

Magby: Such an unfortunate Japanese name.

Miltank: Poor thing was demonized just because of that annoying brat, Whitney.

Blissy: Egg...

Raikou: The most overshadowed of the gen 2 legendaries.

Entei: That fact that a volcano erupts eveytime it barks makes it a miracle that there's still any life left in the pokemon world.

Suicune: Gamefreak really went out of their way to make sure this was the most popular of the legendary beasts.

Larvitar: Look at those stubby little arms.

Pupitar: Did we really need another caccoon pokemon.

Tyranitar: One brick break and your dead.

Lugia: The "why isn't this a water type?" pokemon.

Ho-Oh: This pokemon is seen as giving Ash immortality.

Celebi: You, you're the one responsible for all the event pokemon that use FOMO to trick fans into wasting their time going to Gamestop. Let that fact weigh heavily on your shoulders...

(Hoenn shall be next)

[fantasyinvader]

I think tonight, I’ll repeat why I think Edelgard is a great character.

Remember the phrase “would you kindly…”? It’s from Bioshock, a seemingly harmless little turn of phrase that, in reality, is a hypnotic trigger for your character. It doesn’t seem like much, but the game hammers it’s importance into your skull with it’s reveal. Your character has not been in control, you’ve been a puppet all throughout your vacation in Rapture. It also serves as a deconstruction of video games, how we don’t question the quests we’ve been given or even our own actions. We’re told “hey, you’re the good guy. Go do this.”

Edelgard does the exact same thing, just without the brainwashing…possibly. There may be something to her Crest of Flames. But all she does is feed the player her narrative. How rotten the world is, why it is, what needs to be changed and how she wants to do something about it. It starts sounding like this more traditional RPG tale, Edelgard against an evil Church.

But, as the devs said, the game world was built around supporting Silver Snow, it was built around the story where it turns out Edelgard is actually the villain the entire time. And while the execution is frustrating, to say the least, it does tie into the intent behind the game as well as it’s themes. Namely the Buddhist stuff I’m always harping on, how Byleth isn’t supposed to be led astray by their own ignorance while the player is supposed to immerse themselves into the setting.

Byleth is supposed to be a bodhisattva figure, being tempted through their attachment to Edelgard but ultimately not succumbing to it. The attachment is the big deal here, as it’s through it that Byleth can be led astray. The game references the story behind the Banner of Victory through Silver Snow’s save icon, Byleth’s flag which the devs called the game’s real Fire Emblem representing the faith people put in Byleth. Going down this route is framed as changing the story.

But is also means that the player is going down a path not supported by the world building. That they believe something else, and as a result mow down everyone in Edelgard’s way. This was stated to be the intended them of the route, like it’s charging that the player didn’t pay attention to the story and world. Yet at the same time, there’s still the little hints of world and character building that tells us this isn’t the heroic route we thought it would be. It’s all in the little details, the contradictions and the implications, and they all add up.

If the player doesn’t pay attention, Edelgard will play them like a damn fiddle and she doesn’t have to say “would you kindly.” She’s a villain who can convince people to join her in order to supposedly save the world. And if the player still isn’t paying attention, they’ll believe it.

Going back to Bioshock for a second, by the time you’re given your first moral choice (save or harvest the Little Sister), you’ve been in Rapture for a while. You’ve heard the ideology the city was founded on, seen it’s ruined state, and what the people have become. You’re still piecing things together, but you’ve seen enough. You’re given the choice, Harvest and kill the Little Sister for more ADAM, making yourself stronger by sacrificing others, or saving the Little Sister at the cost of that additional ADAM. The latter option goes against what Andrew Ryan founded the city on, you’re rejecting that ideology and telling him to shove his copy of Atlas Shrugged where the sun don’t shine. Or you buy into it, putting yourself above others like he would have wanted. Not simply a “good” or “evil” choice like many make it out to be.

By the time you’re given the option to join Edelgard, you should have seen enough already to see why it’s a bad idea.

And I just find that’s a pretty cool concept, even if it does weaken the recruited characters if you really examine it. Plus she looks like the Queen of Hearts out of an Alice in Wonderland production post-timeskip. Real “off with her head” vibes.

[sytokun]

Nitpick N(Oct)ovember #7: Mustard sauce

For @odsalt's RWDE Nitpick November event.

So, this was Blake's weapon "upgrade" as of Volume 7.

Now, I know it's based on kintsugi, where broken pieces of something is reconnected with gold, which is cool symbolism for Blake reassembling her life together after being free from Adam. The idea works, but the execution...

Doesn't mean it still doesn't look... bad, and boring. There's so many ways to utilise kintsugi into this and make it look cool, like having the fracture run all along the blade, or broken in multiple places. This half-measure just makes me think they broke Blake's weapon, but didn't think about using kintsugi until one of their concept artists suggested it after Volume 6 ended.

But my real nitpick lies with this Monty tweet from way back when, before Volume 3.

Now there's some people who say each RWBY "Season" is made up of 3 Volumes, so Monty might be talking about Volume 7-9, but I highly doubt it. Plus Blake's weapon is already "upgraded" now so the point is moot regardless.

But yeah. We were promised a super cool upgrade to Blake's weapon as early as Volume 3. I have little doubt that this was supposed to happen by Adam breaking her weapon in their fight. But instead, we get this mustard sauce shit and now Blake basically just uses Gambol Shroud as a glorified grappling hook.

It's unfortunate, but I'm just sayin', we were totally robbed y'all.

And knowing what we know now about Rooster Teeth and how they deliberately fuck around with their shows and throw out their original creators' ideas for one reason or another, I wouldn't be surprised if Monty had some kind of model, sketch or notes for Blake's weapon lying around somewhere, but our veritable stewards of RWBY either didn't bother to look or turned their noses up at it altogether unless it suited them.

This may seem like a small thing, but it says enough about these people. You'd think when Berserk's author Kentaro Miura died, everyone involved with his manga wouldn't have put it upon themselves to search for every clue that Miura left behind about Berserk, to best and most faithfully continue it?

But all I've seen is RT fucking over literally anyone who cares too much about what they make, because that means all that care will start cutting into their production pipeline and their higher-ups' paychecks. Any chances they have to give the girls upgraded weapons are well and truly wasted by this point; they have never cared about making a faithful RWBY or even at least a better one, and never will unless it helps them gain easy clout with their all-too-eager fanbase.

[adobe-outdesign]

What’s ur opinion on calyrex? Personally I didn’t love his design at first but he really grew on me during his dlc quest. His personality is lovely he does a dance and he has little peets w pawbeans.

I will say that I do like Calyrex's personality a lot. I've mentioned this before, but a lot of legendaries (especially in the games) don't really have strong characters if any at all. Some might prefer them to be more mysterious and cool, but it's nice to get one that's also just supposed to be regal but is actually a massive nerd. It's a nice change of pace basically.

Design-wise... well, let me put it this way: I really like the concept behind the design and how weird it is, but I think it could've been executed a lot better visually.

Because frankly, I kind of love the idea of this weird rabbit-ungulate that controls crops and has a giant bulb to serve as a crown/big psychic head that has a body so diminative that it just floats everywhere. Seriously, that's freaking great. Plus the king theme fits the region, for better or for worse.

However, the design itself is awfully messy. And I do mean that literally--is it just me, or is the artwork really failing on this one? Look at the way the white clips over the outside lines here, or the pointless green inside of the lines that's barely noticeable:

Calyrex also confuses me up every time I look at it because every time my brain goes "oh yeah that's a quadruped seen from the front" but no it only has two legs.

I think this is because there's a weird disconnect between the head and the body. The head is fairly detailed and realistic minus how long the eye is, but the body is like an MS paint doodle with no definition, and it makes for a weird juxtaposition. Either the head needed to be more cartoonish and flat, or the legs needed more definition instead of just being sticks.

And then there's just a lot of things visually that detract from the design aside from that. The random triforces in the neck orbs aren't needed, and the orbs are too big as well. The cape doesn't really read as a cape in the slightest, looking more like a weird pair of wings, and there's too much green in the arms (they should be brown instead, so they don't blend into the neck orbs).

Also, looking at the rider forms, I really wish the bulb on the head was glowing in the official artwork or had something else going on with it. I can't place it, but something about the colors just needed more "pop" there.

So basically, great personality, great concept for the design, but not executed well visually speaking. I still kind of like this weird rabbit dandelion, but it could've been much better.

Speaking of things that could've been better, the rider forms Exist. These are just really clunky to me--it's literally just Calyrex but on Glastrier/Spectrier. That's it. It's not even really a different form for the most part, it's just Calyrex but on a horse that he tamed.

I don't think I'd mind so much except the designs don't do together visually in the slightest. Ice rider is a little better because the colors are a closer match, but it looks like someone Photoshopped Calyrex onto a horse despite this artwork being made from scratch. Even the reins look tacked on--what are those connected to, exactly? And no saddle??

Basically, I feel like these would've been better if they blended the designs more visually. Like, maybe Glastrier/Spectrier gain some armor or riding gear that resembles Calyrex, or their palettes changed to match its. I don't know, just something.

I also feel like these don't work conceptually because Calyrex has such a diminutive body--part of its charm is how it just floats everywhere like a weird dandelion. Look at those legs. They'll break in half if you look at him wrong, yet you're telling me he can ride a horse?

The one thing I can say however is that the arms and cape look much better here, and I really wish they looked like that in the regular design. Aside from that though, these forms aren't doing anything for me.

[thelivingmemegod]

Rank the starters

Gen 1

Squirtle line: 10/10 would recommend, had one and I loved my blastoise dearly

Charmmander line: 6/10 overrated

Bulbasaur line: the chunky baby to big boy pipeline I give many kisses 10/10

Gen 2

Chickorita line: 5/10 little weird but it’s got spirit

Cyndaquil line: 10/10 they’ve got an awkward teen phase and I’m a little biased because I thought a typhlosion was a real weather pattern

Totodile line: 10/10 just a little bitey guy and I love all their names, exceptionally fun name scheme

Gen 3

I’ve really got the least experience with these ones. Don’t know why I’ve just seen em the least.

Mudkip line: 10/10 A derp. A real derp and it’s always a derp

Torchic line: 8/10 Fighting fire chicken. Cool (though I do not like Combusken at all-)

Treecko line: 3/10 I get what it’s going for but I…don’t really like how they executed it.

Gen 4

Thanks to the rereleases I actually played this one!

Chimchar line: 100/10 no I’m not biased cuz he was my starter leave me alone-

Turtwig line: 10/10 love the idea and execution behind these guys!

Piplup line: 4/10 I love the actual first form but the other two I really don’t-

Gen 5

I remember these guys unreasonably well, I guess I watched a decent amount of this season to remember it.

Snivy line: 4/10 like the actual first two designs, don’t like the third. The general personality of this line I don’t like. Little grass twerp is judging me-

Tepig line: 10/10 Chunky to WWE pipeline, also Emboar is fun to say and I like it’s tag teaming with the anteater thing against the metal ants. I like those kinds of prey predator relationships in Pokémon

Oshawott line: 3/10, like Oshawott, don’t like the other two that much. It does get another point for the name reminding me of osha though.

Gen 6

Played these games too!

Fennekin line: 8/10 despite my bias cuz it was my starter I really hate how delphox looks. I wish it quadrupedal. If I were to replay X I’d see if I can find and everstone and just keep Braxian

Chespin line: 1/10 I don’t like where he goes at all I wish he’d just stayed a little guy

Froakie line: 10/10 Cute little guy to edgy ninja pipeline!

Gen 7

Played em!

Litten line: 8/10 same issues as the Fennekin line, would’ve much rather stopped at the quadrupedal stage two Torracat. Plus I really like the name Torracat

Rowlet line: 10/10 Cool line! Starts squishy and ends mysteriously!

Popplio line: 4/10? I’m kinda neutral on this whole line-

Gen 8

We all know why I didn’t play this mess, this isn’t gonna be pretty

Grookey line: 2/10 I don’t hate Grookey or Rillaboom but like. Rillaboom seems like the type of Pokémon a gay kid has before he realizes he’s gay because it’s just a gymbro

Scorbunny line: 5/10 mehs all around

Sobble line: 5/10 M e h

Gen 9

The newest one-

Sprigatito line: 3/10 it starts cute then what the fuck. LET THE DAMN CATS BE QUADRUPEDAL

Furcoco line: 2/10 I’m not into the concepts or the execution of these little guys 

Quaxly line: 1/10 what the hell happened to its color scheme and why it’s legs suddenly get so thick-

[taviewritesstuff]

BT Redux, FLaG Relance, and the Visions Behind Them

So one of the things I’ve been learning on this journey of reinventing myself and my skills is the concept of vision. Or rather, why having one is pretty important.

I admit, when I first started writing stories, I just thought of, “This would be awesome to write out!” Which would explain some of my crazier stories during middle and high school (which I still read from time to time to remind myself of my progress, and because of nostalgia!).

But since I’ve started making reboots of my larger works, I realize that if I want them to succeed, I need to have a clear, concrete vision of where I want the stories to go. Having a vision for something is just as important as doing it, because it gives you a clear direction.

And nowhere do I need that direction more than in the reboots of two of my bigger stories—Blazin’ Trails and For Love and Glory.

For Blazin’ Trails, it really just started out as a quick idea I had, and then it turned into multiple ideas. It wasn’t really supposed to be anything other than an outlet/story dump thing for Ricochet Rabbit and Droop-a-Long, but that changed drastically when my buddy Vulaan Kulaas and I started incorporating story arcs, and I realized that what we envisioned for the story then wasn’t working with the way the story was going now. I had envisioned a Gunsmoke like story with some Hanna-Barberian elements, which was obvious in some chapters. Adding purely serious stories just wouldn’t cut it in the current Blazin’ Trails, not to mention the timeline was all out of wack. Add in the new characters (which both me and VK were creating all the time, haha), and it was a crap show. For a while, writing this gave me some stress because I felt like I was a failure, promising all these cool plot lines and not delivering them in the next update.

The original For Love and Glory was kinda similar, but it differs in that I kinda had an outline for where I wanted to go with it. I was inspired by a comment that questioned how Toosh got his start as a hero, and I decided to answer that question with a DARK AND GRITTY story—to make him a flawed, yet relatable character, which is a good idea in concept, but I admit fell flat in execution. I actually did want to make it a full series, but the lack of response was disheartening, which made me falsely believe that the story wasn’t worth sharing. It’s why I never posted the sequels to the original, since I figured that nobody would read it. I questioned if people would really care, or if it was worth writing content for the two characters. Plus, looking back at the old story made me feel like certain things weren’t explained and the world building was incredibly poor. And unlike with Ric, I didn’t really get the hang of writing Toosh (Dum, though, was easier.) which kinda showed in the writing. Honestly, I was ready to give up on the story, even though a rewrite was always on the table.

Two things happened, though, that convinced me to not give up on these two works.

There was no really big epiphany with Blazin’ Trails, though. Vulaan Kulaas and I were talking about how the story needs to be changed, and she helped me to come up with the name, some plot lines, and of course, introduced lots of original characters. I went ahead and started changing up some plots, picking the most important events from the first story and cutting or consolidating the rest and cutting or revamping some characters. And with the new ideas that VK was giving me, I felt my creative mojo come back. I was now adding more stories and better character development. The “guest stars” actually had important roles! And now I’m spending more time on the wiki than I am on Tumblr, much to my buddy’s amusement XD

Then, I had a few silly ideas that fantasy elements could go into this story, and then they just stuck. And then I wrote it, and realized that the fantasy elements were just right for the new story I wanted to go with. And then I realized I’d have to redo characters’ backstories, personalities, and even the whole world. A Princess Connect/Symphogear-like story with some Hanna-Barberian elements would be awesome to write…but it wouldn’t cut with the original “DARK AND GRITTY” vision of the original. I feel like I’m finally getting a hold of Touché’s voice, and slowly but surely, some more details about the world will be added. And then of course, not helping is my current obsession with my OTPs for the story, Touché and Edith and Cat and Dum.

My vision for Blazin’ Trails Redux is a story that gives Ricochet and Droop-a-Long, as well as the large cast that supports them, the proper Western that they deserve.

My vision for For Love and Glory Relance, is to create, essentially, the best Touché Turtle story around, one that gives both him and Dum-Dum the proper story they deserve.

Now that I have a clear vision for what I want to do for both of these stories, I’ve been working on them full force (well, more the former than the latter). Who knows, I may or may not create a separate side blog specifically for FLaG, LOL.

Either way, I must admit, I am SO hyped to write both of these!

[davidmann95]

Sooo… Superman and the Authority?

magnus-king123 asked: Your thoughts on Superman & the authority Give it to me...lol

Anonymous asked: Seeing Bezos take his little trip into space the same day Morrison puts out a Superman comic that touches on how far we’ve fallen from the days when we dreamed of utopian futures where everyone explored the stars was a big gut punch. Not used to Superman being topical in that way.

Anonymous asked: What'd you think of Superman and the Authority#1?

This is far beyond what I can fit in the normal weekly reviews, so taking this as my notes on the first six pages, with this and this as my major lead-in thoughts:

* Janin's such a perfect fit for Morrison - the scale, the power, the facial expressions selling the character work, the screwing around with the panel formatting as necessary to sell the effect, the numinous sense of things going on larger than you can fully perceive amidst the beauty and chaos. It's a shame he wasn't around 25 years ago to draw JLA, but I'll take him going with Morrison onto other future projects.

* His intro action sequence is such a great demonstration of why Black actually does have something to offer, and also how he's such a dumbass desperately needing Superman to save him from himself.

* While Jordie Bellaire didn't legit go with an entirely monochromatic palate the way early previews suggested, it's still an effect frequently and excellently deployed here. And glad to see Steve Wands carry into this from Blackstars since there's such an obvious carryover from its work with Superman.

* "Gentlemen. Ladies. Others." Great both because of the obvious - hey, Superman's nodding at me! - and because it's a phrasing that reinforces that this take on him (and let's be real Morrison) is old as hell.

* I'm mostly past caring about whether this is an alt-Earth Superman until it becomes indisputable one way or another, this and Action both rule so what does it really matter? But while there are still a couple signs in play suggesting some kind of division (the Action Comics #1036 cover, Midnighter up to time-travel shenanigans) the "lost in time" quote clearly thrown in after the fact to explain how he could have met Kennedy outside of 5G that wouldn't be necessary for an Elseworlds, the assorted gestures towards Superman's current status quo, the Kingdom Come symbol appearing in Action, and that Morrison would have had to completely rewrite the ending if this wasn't supposed to be 'the' version of Clark Kent going forward as was the intent when they first planned it all say to me that no, no fooling around, this is our guy going forward one way or another.

* Janin and Bellaire making the first version of the crystal Fortress ever that actually looks as cool as you want it to.

Anonymous asked: I like that Superman and The Authority is basically the anti-All-Star; instead of the laid back, immortal Superman who is supercharged, we have a stressed, ageing Superman whose tremendous powers are fading. The former will always be there to save us, but the latter is running out of time and needs to pull off a Hail Mary. Also, he mentions in his monologue to Black that he was "lost in time" when he met JFK, so maybe he is the main continuity Clark. Or he's the t-shirt Supes from Sideways.

* You're absolutely right - the power reversal is obvious and the ticking clock in play seemingly isn't for his own survival but everyone around him as he wakes up and realizes all the old icons grew complacent with the gains they'd made and he's not leaving behind the world he meant to. Both, however, are built on the idea of preparing the world to not need them anymore - it'll still have a Superman in his son, but that'll only work because of the others he empowers and inspires. The question is what happens to Clark if he's not going to live in the sun for 83000 years.

* Clark's 'exercise' here does more to sell me on the idea of Old Man Superman as a cool idea than however many decades of Earth 2 stuff.

* Intergang being noted alongside Darkseid and Doomsday speaks to how much Kirby informed Morrison's conception of Superman.

* This isn't exactly the most progressive in its disability politics but at least it makes clear Black's being a piece of shit about it.

* It's startling how much Clark can get away with saying stuff in here you'd never expect to come out of Superman's mouth. "I made an executive decision" "Privacy, really...?" "You have nowhere to go, Black. Nothing to live for." "There are few people in my life who I instinctively and viscerally dislike, and you've always been one of them." It only works because there's zero aggression behind it, he's just past the point of niceties and being totally frank while making clear none of these assessments preclude that he cares and is going to unconditionally do the right thing every time. He is absolutely, per Morrison, humanity's dad picking us up when we're too drunk to drive ourselves home.

* The story doesn't put a big flashing light over it, but it's not even a little bit subtle having the material threat of the issue be a ticking timebomb left by the carelessness and hubris of generations past.

* Manchester keeps trying to poke the bear and prove his hot takes about Superman and it's just not working. The front he put up under Kelley is gone after decades of defeats, and as Morrison understands what actually conceptually works about him as a rival to Superman underneath the aging nerd paranoia he's exposed as what he absolutely would be in 2021: a dude with a horrific terminal case of Twitter brainworms. I was PANICKED when I heard there was an 'offensive term' joke in this, I was braced for Morrison at their well-meaning worst, but it's such a goddamn perfect encapsulation of a very specific breed of Twitter leftist who uses their politics first and foremost as a cudgel and justification to label their abrasive, judgmental shittiness as self-righteousness (plus it's a killer payoff to a joke from way back in his original appearance). Cannot believe they pulled that off when they're so very, very open about basically not knowing how the internet works.

* @charlottefinn: Manchester Black using his telekinetic powers to force someone he hates to fave a problematic tweet so that he can screenshot it and start a dogpile

@intergalactic-zoo: “Once they cancel Bibbo, Superman won’t be *anyone’s* fav’rit anymore!”

* Friend noted this issue had to be fully the conversation because the whole premise stands on the house of cards of these two somehow working together, and with three 'silent' inset panels the creative team pulls off that turning point.

* So much of this feels on the surface like Morrison bringing back the All-Star vibes with Clark, but when he drops a "That's all you got?" in a brawl you realize what's underlining that bluntness and confidence in the face of failure is that deep down this is still the Action guy too. This dude ain't gonna get wrecked in his Fortress while the other guy chuckles about him being A SOFT WEE SCIENTIST'S SON!

* Bringing up Jor-El made me realize that Morrison already spelled out that this is the final threat to Superman, what he faces at the end of the road:

"Now it's your turn, Superman."

* A l'il Superman 2000/All-Star reference with the Phantom Zone map!

* There's so much intertextuality going on here even by Morrison standards - Change or Die with the old hero putting together a team of morally nebulous folks out to 'fix' everything, Flex Mentallo with the muscleman trying to redeem the punk, Doomsday Clock with the fate of the world hinging on whether Superman can get through to a meta stand-in for an idea of 'modern' comics cynicism, DKR and New Frontier and Kingdom Come and Multiversity and Seven Soldiers and What's So Funny and All-Star and Action and the last 5 years of monthly Superman comics and Authority and probably Jupiter's Legacy and Tom Strong - but none of that's needed. You could go in with the baseline pop cultural understanding of the character and not care about any of the inside baseball shit and get that this is a story about a leader of a generation that let down the people they made all their grand promises to as inertia and day-to-day demands and complacency let him be satisfied with the accomplishments they'd made long ago, looking at a new era and seeing the ways its own activists are dropping the ball. The only thing that fundamentally matters in a "you have to accept you're reading a superhero story" sense is that because he's Superman he's willing to own up to it and listen to people who might know better about some things and try to set things right while he and those who'll take his place still have a chance. And yes, the oldster looking back on their legacy with a skeptical eye and hoping for better from the next generation, hoping most of all that their little heir apparent can fulfill the promise inside of him instead of being a provocating little shitkicker, is obviously also autobiographical.

* The overlaying Kennedy reprisal is such a great visual of a sudden intrusive thought.

* The Kryptonite secret is the obvious "This is going to matter!" moment, but "He lied about his son" is a bit that doesn't connect to anything going on right now so maybe that's important here too? More significantly, the Justice League can't actually be the villains here but that Ultra-Humanite's crew are in an Earth-orbiting satellite makes pretty clear what's up.

* I've said before that between Superman, OMAC, and a New Gods-affiliated speedster this was going to use all of Morrison's favorite things. King Arthur playing a role isn't exactly dissuading me.

* Love the idea that all the antiheroes have their own community in the same way as the capes and tights crew. They definitely all privately think the rest are posers though and that they alone are Garth Ennis Punisher in a mob of Garth Ennis Wolverines.

* Manchester's fallen so far he's gone from trying to convince Superman to kill to convince him to dunk on people for their bad takes and Clark just doesn't get it. Official prediction of dialogue for upcoming issues:

"According to these bloody Fortress scans, the only thing that can restore your powers is an unfiltered hit of dopamine. Don't worry, Doctor Black has a few ideas."

"Hmm. Maybe I'll plant a nice tree?"

"...fuck you."

* Ok I already talked about how great the Fortress looks in here but LOVE this library.

* A pair of pages this seems like the right spot to discuss from Black's original appearance that underlines both his and Superman's inadequacies up to this point:

Responding to the problem of "the government and penal system are hopelessly corrupt" neither of them has any actual notion of what to do about it in spite of their respective posturing beyond how to handle individual outside actors - each is in their own way every bit as small-minded and reactionary as the other. Clark's coming around though, and he's holding out hope for the other guy.

* Superman: Have a lovely mineral water :) proper hydration is important :)

Manchester Black: *Is a dude who can get so mad he vomits and passes out. At water.*

* That last page is the one to beat for the year, and does more to put over the idea of this as an Authority book than that Midnighter and Apollo are literally going to show up. It also feels like Morrison tacitly acknowledging all the ways the premise could go or at least be received wrong - from Superman saying 'enough is enough' to who he's bringing into the fold to go about it - in the most beautifully on-the-nose fashion imaginable. Maybe they'll save us all! Or maybe they'll drown us in their vomit.

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

chin fucking up, amigo.

Titans 3.02

... eh?

SPOILERS ahead.

1. you know that music video for billie jean where michael jackson would dance along the pavement and the tiles would light up under his feet in different colours? yeah? me too.

titans hasn’t met a table top or a support arch that it doesn’t want to light up in a headache-inducing blue like the world’s most boring nightlight. i mean, i’m not an expert on lighting or cinematography or just... colour by any means, and the quality of the video i’m watching is poor given that i can’t access hbo max, but all the orange and teal and neon is making it very difficult to really differentiate between say, the batcave and the gotham police department and hell, the titans tower. i feel like there’s oftentimes a gap between idea and execution with titans, with gotham being this almost otherwordly hellscape with an aesthetic pulled from a gothic horror novel, but the colours and design just... leave it flat and dark and dull.

1.5. like what really frustrates me is that titans has a delightful mix of tones--the fights often remind me of schumacher-era batman camp, with the contrived quips and the start-stop rhythm and krypto just sallying in and ending the fight with a fucking SuperBark (tm) but in the same episode you have red hood just casually pulling out severed heads out of a duffle bag and desperate people blackmailed into killing themselves out of drug overdoses. I MEAN. it’s wonderful! but it looks all the same. it sounds Absolutely Bonkers on paper but on screen both Quip and Murder happen in the same washed-out blue and i wanted to be excited about the batcave, dammit!

2. things re: red hood have happened at such a breakneck speed that it feels like there’s so much that’s happened off-screen that we’re not privy to. a real proper mystery! 

things that are intriguing about the red hood arc so far:

a) what was that chemical he huffed just before going to fight the joker? is it a regular old performance/adrenaline booster or is it something more lazarus-juice adjacent? if it’s the latter, i can’t imagine he got that much information from a lone chemistry textbook. and where is he getting the resources to set up his little chemistry lab? is somebody else orchestrating things behind the scenes?

b) the red hood persona, costume and mask, plus the elaborate plan he’s putting in place to both string along gotham’s rogues and enact his revenge against the titans seems too... fully-formed and elaborate to have been concocted in just a few days. how long do you think jason’s been planning this? just... stewing in resentment and building rage, dismissed and passed around and underestimated and realising that the power he thought he would get by being robin is no power, no protection at all, but something that’s left him even more vulnerable than before? 

c) do we think that the scarecrow is at least partly behind this transformation? because yes, it was batman that set up this whole hannibal lecter-esque situation with him, and he would be irresponsible enough to have jason-as-robin go talk to him regularly regarding “~profiling~” criminals. it’s not too far of a leap to assume that scarecrow could’ve been manipulating jason at a very vulnerable time, and that he could’ve passed along some of his chemistry know-how, too.

d) ... or fuck, i wouldn’t put it past titans to introduce ra’s al ghul in a fucking ten second aside

e) anyway, the thing that won’t leave me alone is jason seeking out the joker not necessarily to fight him, but to orchestrate his own death. the whole thing has to have been part of a bigger plan. he broke batman with it, after all. and he’s starting to break the titans, too.

f) i love it! i mean, it does re-tread some of the storybeats we had with deathstroke last season (turning the titans against each other as revenge, etc) but it’s... tighter, this time, and at least for now seems better-executed. and as a red hood story it’s different enough to be really interesting, and i appreciate the ways in which its reframed the revenge story to focus on the titans rather than just the batman. like fuck everything up, i say! turn it on its head! slash the innards out of that sacred cow and strew it like garlands in the path of the Story You Want To Tell!

(and yes i am fully aware that by the time i post this review, there will be a whole lot more information out but if i come across like a fool then goddammit i will be a fool!)

2. i love how every season of titans starts off with, ‘oh dick, you thought you were settling into a role and a life and a pattern of relationships? well fuck you, here’s a terrible and traumatic thing, tons more responsibility, and circumstances that will lead you to uproot your entire life and move somewhere else.’ and dick’s just like, ‘well, ok. fuck you, but all right’.

can you imagine? the man was just settling into leading a team in sf and smiling for the first time in years, and now he has to deal with jason’s death, bruce experiencing a full fledged breakdown, coming back to a city that represents more bad memories than good, red hood, and a frightening new case that seems to be targeting him and his team. it’s a testament to dick’s growth that he’s not reacting to this stress like he did last year, shutting everybody out, making irrational decisions and experiencing sharp, short bursts of anger. (not to mention a full fledged psychotic episode.)

2.5. but i’ve also talked about dick performing a fair amount of unwarranted emotional labour for his team(s) in that he just lets them take out their frustrations on him and... does nothing. be it his team exploding at him for jericho (both in flashback and present-day) or donna and hank needling him for handling deathstroke poorly or barbara berating him for not handling the bank situation as well as she thought batman would though just the previous episode she had talked about how fucked up it was that bruce just expected dick to step up and replace him in gotham without any real notice. i mean it’s all perfectly understandable and sympathetic from their end--and i’m not trying to bash them here!--but hank, my man, the same chin you’re asking your amigo to keep up is the one that you punched last year and never apologised for. just sayin’.

2.75. @superohclair did a wonderful breakdown of what the ‘fear’ contract could imply here and there’s not too much i could add to that. it’s just really interesting that fear ended up being such a defining feature of their lives, albeit it’s the fear of seeming less than invincible in the face of bigger, more tangible fears. am i making sense?  dick feared loss, and abandonment, and the more existential concept of turning into something that he didn’t want to. bruce so feared being alone that he’s scouting kids to replace robin within days of jason dying. 

it also goes some way in explaining the tense sort of... restraint that bruce and dick show in the wake of loss and tragedy, like anything less than complete control of your emotions can lead to tragedy. it’s conditioning that dick couldn’t shake off when he was at his lowest in detroit, hating his legacy but unable to let it go either.

2.775. but i definitely appreciate the softness that dick displays with his team now, checking on them after a mission-gone-bad, welcoming back old members with no caveats or resentments (and kory’s delight in seeing hank back! hank and dick hanging out together and hank trying to prop dick up!), and appreciating their teamwork in solving cases. that’s always been the essence of dick as a person, and the beating heart of this show: flawed and traumatised people coming together to a place that will always be open to them, where they can be their worst and be supported still, allowed to make mistakes and grow from them. that’s family.

2.8. coming back to bruce for just a sec, it’s interesting how that gotham rogue was so certain when he said that ‘batman doesn’t kill’ but it’s not a rule that either jason or dick put much store by when they were robins. the ‘no-killing’ rule clearly didn’t mitigate dick’s fears about turning into batman and jason’s never been seeing giving two shits about it. it seems to me of a piece with bruce’s distant, second-hand sort of parenting that we see in dick’s flashbacks from s1 where the fear was never about personally disappointing batman, but taking lessons from him on finding a place in gotham’s hellish ecosystem and surviving.

3. kory having waking flashbacks! i don’t buy the bullshit parasomnia episode explanation from fake!HPG (because c’mon, justin has to be some sort of tamaranean ruse) because for one, you have to be actually asleep for that diagnosis. 

(and here i was, hoping against hope that HPG would actually end up as the team’s therapist)

curiouser and curiouser! i wonder if these flashbacks are from the time between kory landing on earth and the beginning of season 1, when she was completely amnesiac? it’d be cool if the show was considering repercussions from that time, and if kory hasn’t gained all her memories back. 

4. i just love the vibes between gar and conner and kory. gar Having Things To Do is only one part of my wishlist for him, however: other parts include having an actual story arc, and actually bonding with members who are not conner and kory. (dick! dick! hank! dick!)

anyway. time to move on to watching ep3 and seeing this family bond and nothing terrible and tragic happening at all, nope, nosiree. 

[lorewasntfound]

Critiquing Dream Team Merch

Pt 3 / GeorgeNotFound

Disclaimer: the tone is mostly critical/negative, so beware if you’re not into that, but overall its just a fun brain exercise. Realistically I don’t expect video game streamers to be held to that high of standard aesthetically, (no matter how much I want them to be) this is just me combining two of my interests. Also, actually design critiques aren’t usually worded this harsh, I’m just being ranty on the internet. 

Pros

Actually has a more solid and original base to build off of images that fit his brand compared to Sapnap. Dream’s stuff already establishes you don’t have to have a polished looking brand to make decent designs, just a consistent one. 

His smiley face equivalent is basically the G, red rectangle, and clout goggles. His secondary branding is the color blue and 404/notFound idea and combined they somehow kind of work because he’s an ex-hypebeast coding nerd so the branding is very personalized to who he is.

Like Dream, while his logo isn’t super polished or professional, it works with the brand. Idk like it’s simple he’s just a dude that likes the color blue and math and his name starts with G. 

Basically he has the opposite problem as Sapnap, as his branding is strong, but his merch…. eh well.

Cons

He could’ve make some cool early 2000s era computer glitch inspired stuff and still be on brand, but instead choses “handwriting font????” 

Like, I don’t expect any of these guys to have shred of artistic taste, but I do expect them to have enough money to pay for it.

From best to worst designs I’d personally rank it supreme logo + 3d glasses > 404 goggles + GNF. This also makes him the DT member with the largest amound of designs that are just kind of just vastly different logos, which makes some of the designs stand out as a lot weaker compared to the others. 

Supreme Logo: 

Its been done as YouTuber merch before. It’s just “brand name in box,” like Adidas or Nike. If you’re already committed to buying merch with a someone’s full name on it, you’re not going to care too much about the design, so I don’t really have any criticisms that haven’t already been said. Same arguments go here as Dream’s smiley icon or any other Supreme brand knockoff. 

3d glasses: 

I like that it’s subtle, and did actually for a brief moment consider getting it, but this has the same criticism I have of Dream’s axe design shirt, in where it has a decent concept (in fact, I think the concept is really fun and on-brand), but commissioning a good illustrator could have pushed the outcome into something a lot more visually exciting.

404 goggles: 

Has the same offenses as Sapnap’s new logo in that its kind of a lot at once, while simultaneously looking incredibly static and boring. It’s like if there was a Dream design that had both his smile and “dream” logo on it. 

There’s already two designs using the gnf and goggles concept which makes this design feel more redundant than it actually is. Plus, if they wanted to use it as a website header, the “404″ part should have been a secondary element (smaller then GNf) because it makes it look like his brand name is now “404 GNf.” 

GNF: 

People pointed out that it was the dream team colors, but like, why not just make actual dream team merch? At least his logo that some people think is bad, George made himself so there’s some sentiment behind it, while conceptually this just looks like a font that was copy and pasted. This is the design that should actually be criticized the same way Dream’s smiley art is. 

It also makes me think of the “404 glitch” type aesthetic that I really wanted to see in George’s merch, but it’s way too low effort looking for me to actually enjoy it. 

+ additional comments 

Whoever is choosing these fonts is now offending me on a personal level. /j 

(Yes, you can make the excuse that fonts that look like comic sans are easier to read, but you can’t use that same excuse for Sapnap’s font.)

Like Sapnap’s stuff, I don’t actually think any of it is hideous on it’s own, just as a collection, it could have been executed a lot better. Maybe I was accidentally influenced by the cat shorts, but to me his stuff looks like merch YouTubers would sell back in 2011-2015.  

Conclusion

5/10 

Very wearable, if your name is GeorgeNotFound. Averagely wearable if you’re a regular and supportive fan. Very “$10 graphic tee you would find on a shelf in the men’s section” style. I’m pretty hard on it, but only because I can imagine ways it could be better.

[bonnissance]

currently untitled ~1k teen rated stocking filler for @berenasecretsanta

I wanted biscuits, Jess wanted mistletoe, the kitchen was compulsory, the tradition was accidental, and the ornament is direct in concept if oblique in execution.

CW: sensory overload, some sort of panic flare/anxiety attack, body feels, canon deaths (just the Serena’s family ones don’t worry), serena’s internalised unworthiness rears an ugly head, but it’s mainly some kitchen antics angst with a happy ending

It was Bernie idea, to begin with; once Charlotte asked to bring her partner to Christmas lunch before any of them had really decided on who should host what and where this year, Bernie leapt at the chance without really thinking.

She hadn’t spent that night on the sofa, but it was a near thing, after informing Serena they were due to host a verifiable banquet in a fortnight without so much as a shopping list in preparation.

Once the dust settled, though, Serena rather came round to the idea, of having an enormous spread and a trussed up tree, the house full of people and food and joy.

It was exactly what they needed, to put the years past behind them.

So when Bernie asked to decorate the tree in edible decorations, and to bake those decorations themselves, Serena was the one who leapt at the chance: not just to fight off the spectors of her dead dearly departed and the decorations three generations of McKinney women hung every year till Adrienne decided Elinor was old enough to do without Serena’s presence currently burning a hole in their attic because she still can’t bring herself to throw them out; but also to give her and Bernie a way forward after, well, everything.

A fresh start for the two of them, together.

So off she went to find the sturdiest looking recipes she could, plus a gluten free alternative for Charlotte. Researched everything they would need for everything to be perfect. Even managed to get them most of the same afternoon off work, barely a two hour lag between the end of their shifts, to have the evening to do everything together.

She should have known it would end in disaster.

Opening the front door to a noseful of cinnamon and clove wafting thick in the air should have been the first clue. The off key humming floating from the kitchen should have been the second; though, indeed, that did bring a frown to her brow as she tip toed up the hallway, suspicion beginning to crawl up her spine.

She would never have imagined what was waiting for her till she saw it with her own eyes: dishes stacked high on the sink, the washer ajar and waiting to be emptied, every bench space covered with something from wire cooling racks to cracked egg shells to spilt icing.

And in the middle of it all: Bernie, a halo of flour around her head, a smudge of food colouring on her cheek, dried batter on her neck as she rolled out a sheet of dough.

Serena gapes, horrified, at the state of the room before her. Inhales deeply, struggling to keep her composure, and steps over the threshold.

Sugar crunches under the sole of her shoe.

A shiver grates up her spin, locking her jaw and wrenching at the back of her throat. She swallows, thankful she left her shoes on, that she can’t feel the granuals under her socks, pressing into her flesh, as the second to last tie of her temper begin to unravel. 

She opens her mouth, intent on giving Bernie a piece of her mind—specifically, the furious and outraged part—when she notices the one thing in the whole kitchen not in disarray: a glass of red sitting primly next to the breathing bottle, loving poured and waiting for her.

All the breath in her lungs leaves her in great woosh, taking her anger with it. Something thick runs across her chest as tears springing to her eyes, and she just manages to creak out a plea.

‘Bernie.’

A head of messy blonde hair snaps towards her, the eyes underneath widening as Bernie realises she isn’t along, wider still as she finally registers the state of the kitchen around her, and wider again when she sees the look on Serena’s face.

She drops the rolling pin, knocking a nearby bowl. The clatter of porcelain on wood and the breaking of biscuits echo as she rushes forward, already apologising for the mess, reaching up to cradle Serena’s face as she promises she’ll clean everything, only falling silent to wipe away a stray tear with the pad of her thumb.

Serena shakes her head, more hot water leaking from her eyes, struggling to breathe evenly. She grounds herself by inhaling in time with Bernie’s thumb stroking her cheek. 

‘It’s not that,’ she finally whispers around the lump in her throat, pressing a kiss to Bernie’s palm. ‘I’m not impressed by it, obviously, but…Not that.’

‘Then, what?’ Bernie urges, frowning as Serena cradles a hand in her own, tangling their fingers together before guiding it to relax, palm to palm, between them.

‘You poured me wine.’

The frown deepens, accompanied by a tilted head. ‘Yes?’

Serena inhales deeply, feels her back unlock, words tumbling out her mouth with frightening honesty.

‘It was thoughtless, racing ahead like this on something we were meant to do together. Leaving me behind like you don’t want me, like you can’t wait to get away from me. But you poured me wine,’ she adds, her voice softening to just above a whisper as she tightens her grip tenderly. ‘So it was waiting for me.’

‘Of course I did,’ Bernie breathes out, barely a murmur. She looks deep into Serena’s eyes, a curl tighening at the corner of her mouth. ‘I love you.’

Serena breaks away with a sob, hand flying to her mouth to muffle the next gasp as she sucks in a shaky breath. She can’t help it, the affect those words have on her. She’s still working on hearing it and believing it.

Bernie does not move, keeping her distance until Serena steps back. Only then does she reach up to rub a palm over Serena’s back, soft sweeping circles until Serena looks at her again.

‘Serena, I love you,’ Bernie whispers, her finger under Serena’s quivering chin, keeping eye contact through tear studded lashed. Her gaze is soft but determined. ‘And I’ll always make space for you.’

Serena practically launches herself across the seven inches separating them, throwing her arms around Bernie’s shoulders to pull her as close as humanly possibly. Buries her hands in that golden halo as she catches Bernie’s lips in a deep, toe curling kiss.

‘Guess I won’t be needing mistletoe this year,’ Bernie pants softly against her lips when they finally break apart, some time later.

‘As if I need an excuse to kiss you.’

Bernie smiles, ghosting another kiss to Serena’s top lip. Draws back, barely an inch, to check the timer on the latest batch of biscuits. She hums, resolute, and looks back with sparkling eyes full of mischief and want. ‘Prove it.’

Serena beams, already pulling them from the mess of the kitchen. Pushes Bernie against the spotless dining room table to do just that.

[omoi-no-hoka]

Moderately Interesting Japanese Episode 6: Come at Me, Bro (Fighting Words)

Above: the average Japanese workplace, actual footage

The other day, I was copied in an email in which my boss was a bit ticked off that someone hadn’t recorded the hours they had worked for the month, and he told them this: 

首を洗って待ってろ！！！

Kubi wo aratte, mattero!!! Wash your neck and wait!!!

Did my boss think this person’s neck was dirty? What is he waiting for? 

Today, I thought I’d introduce a few phrases that revolve around fights/battles.

1. Kubi wo arau (wash your neck)

I daresay that just about everybody knows about the old samurai tradition of committing seppuku or harakiri, and how the samurai would drag a knife through his gut. But did you also know that there was always a man standing beside him prepared to behead him in the event that he couldn’t go through with it?

Before seppuku and before any public executions, the body must be purified. In particular, because beheadings and hangings were the preferred method of execution in Japan for centuries, it was very important to wash your neck. So if someone tells you to wash your neck, it means your time has come. 

It’s most commonly used just like my boss said,

首を洗って待ってろ！ Kubi wo aratte mattero! Wash your neck and wait!

2. Kenka wo uru (sell a fight)

The first time I heard this, I actually laughed because the idea of “selling” a fight was humorous to me. But if you can imagine picking a fight by saying outrageous things with just as much passion as a man on a soapbox selling snake oil, the expression makes plenty of sense. 

The expression is most often used like this:

ケンカ売ってんのか、こら？！  Kenka utten noka, kora?! (Note: “utten” is a more casual way to say “utte iru” “You tryin to start somethin, huh?!”

3. Kenka wo kau (buy a fight)

Obviously, if someone’s selling something, you’re gonna have to buy it! 

The usage of this expression isn’t as set as its companion “kenka wo uru” is, but I usually see it in some variation of:

ケンカを売ってるなら、買うぞ Kenka wo utteru nara, kau zo If you’re selling a fight, I’ll buy it! (Or, for a more natural English expression, “If you’re starting a fight, I’ll finish it!”)

4. Omae no kubi da (it’s your neck)

This expression goes back to Japan’s history of beheading and hanging as the standard methods of execution. It can mean that someone is fired from their job, or it’s a warning like the English “you’re risking your neck” or “it’s on your head.”

Example for “you’re fired” Wife: あら、おかえり！どうしてこん���に早く帰ってきたの？ Husband: 首になった。 Wife: えっ？首？ Husband: あ、首。

Wife: Oh, welcome back! Why are you home so early? Husband: I got fired. (Literally, “it became my neck”) Wife: What? Fired? (Literally, “neck?”) Husband: Yeah, fired. (Literally, “neck”)

Example for warnings このふざけた計画はお前が考えたから、失敗したらお前の首だぞ Kono fuzaketa keikaku ha omae ga kangaeta kara, shippai shitara omae no kubi da zo. You’re the one who thought up this stupid plan, so if it fails it’s on your head.

5. Sukedachi itasu (to be the helping sword)

This is probably one of my favorite expressions in Japanese. I have a lot of favorite expressions, but I mean it with this one. 

助太刀 (sukedachi) is composed of the following two words:

助 (suke) help, assistance

You likely know the verb 助ける (tasukeru, to help, to aid), 

For some linguistic reason, the “ta” of it falls off in some cases. You see this most commonly in male names. “Sasuke,” “Shinnosuke,” and any other name that ends in “suke” can be written with 助 at the end.

太刀 (tachi/dachi) literally “thick blade,” 

The tachi was a blade slightly larger and more curved than a katana. 

There was also the kodachi, which was too big to be called a knife and too small to be called a sword. 

Sukedachi refers to a person who would provide backup in a fight. It’s the “I’ve got your back” of Japanese, and this expression has been around since the Muromachi Era (early 14th century). You add the verb suru or its humble form itasu to create the phrase “I’ll be the helping sword.”

Nowadays, people aren’t running around with swords vowing to avenge their friend should they fall in battle, yet this expression is still used with surprising frequency. I actually hear it at work at least once a week. 

Senpai: やばい、クライアントに英語での発表求められているけど、俺の英語に自信がない。 Kohai: 大丈夫っすよ！僕１年アメリカで留学したから、困ったら助太刀いたす！

Senpai: Shoot, the client’s asking for the presentation to be in English, but I have no confidence in my English. Kohai: Relax! I studied abroad in America for a year, so if you need help I got your back!

Sukedachi itasu is used for comedic effect. You sound like you’re a samurai willing to lay your life on the line for your friend, when really you’re just talking about helping your friend with a presentation haha. 

You should try using this in the next conversation you have in Japanese. I guarantee your Japanese friends will be impressed!

6. Bibiru (to rattle)

Ask a random Japanese person where they think the word bibiru comes from, and they’ll almost invariably tell you that they think it’s slang. Japanese has an interesting feature in which you can slap a る(ru) on to a noun or onomatopoeia and transform it into a verb, sort of like how you can slap an -ed or -ing on a noun in English and turn it into a verb. 

Some slang verbs commonly used in Japanese are:

ググる guguru (abbreviation of “google” plus “ru”), “to google something”

サボる saboru (abbreviation of “sabotage” plus “ru”), “to skip work/school”

However, bibiru isn’t the slang that many Japanese people think it is. It has been around since the Heian Era (9th century AD)! “Bibi” is the sound of armor plates clashing together on the battlefield, and bibiru is to feel the rush of fear a warrior feels as he watches the enemy surge towards him.

How cool is that?!

This expression can be used like this:

登山の途中に突然にクマが出てきて、ちょうびびった。 Tozan no tochuu ni totsuzen ni kuma ga detekite, chou bibitta. Halfway through climbing the mountain, a bear came out of nowhere and I freaked.

7. Ashi wo arau (to wash your feet)

This expression provides an interesting insight into Japanese culture. In English, if you get involved in an unpleasant event and you want never to think of it again, you “wash your hands” of it. For example, “I decided to wash my hands of crime when I was sent to jail.”

In Japanese, this sentence would literally be “I decided to wash my feet of crime when I was sent to jail.”

How is it that English and Japanese can have such similar expressions that use polar opposite appendages?

Well, first you have to recall the great importance Japanese culture puts on separating 内 (uchi) and 外 (soto). Literally “inside” and “outside” respectively, uchi and soto are how people and the world in general are categorized and separated in the mind. 

For example,

Yourself (uchi) vs. others (soto)

Your home (uchi) vs. outside the home (soto)

Family (uchi) vs. strangers (soto)

Your own village (uchi) vs. another village (soto)

Japan (uchi) vs. other countries (soto)

This is such an internalized thought process that when I bring up the concepts of “uchi” and “soto,” most Japanese people are very startled because they have gone their whole lives unaware that they were looking at the world this way. 

Anyways, one of the most important tenets of uchi and soto is that the uchi is pure, soto is impure, and that impure things from soto are never to be brought into uchi. “Impure” can refer to anything unclean both in the physical and metaphorical sense, like tracking in dirt on your shoes or committing a crime. 

As I’m sure you know, it is customary to remove your shoes before entering a home in Japan. This tradition stems from the practical necessity of removing shoes to keep from ruining tatami mats with dirt, water, or scuffing, but the other reason is that you have left your home (uchi) and gone to soto, and your shoes have touched the impure soto. In order to keep impurities from getting into your home, you must take off your shoes before entering it. 

So to get back to the “ashi wo arau” expression, the concept behind it is that, if you do something impure in soto (such as getting into a fight and hurting someone, or anything else you regret), that impurity remains on your feet and you must rid yourself of that impurity before moving on and returning to your uchi. 

That was a bit of a long and winding explanation, but I hope it made sense. Maybe I’ll make an entire Moderately Interesting Japanese post on uchi and soto in the future if people are interested, because it’s a very deep topic that provides great insight into Japanese culture. 

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About the MCU (Phase Three Part One)

...I’m gonna have to split this one into two parts. Because Phase three is when these movies start getting good, and which in turn results in my have a LOT to talk about. So, here’s the first half of this phase.

10th place: Captian Marvel (6/10)

This is not the worst MCU movie. This isn't even close to the worst thing in the MCU. THAT honor goes to Inhumans, which might just be the most boring TV show that I ever had the displeasure of watching. And if you're a person who only counts the movies as part of the MCU, then there is no way you can look me in the eye and tell me that Captain Marvel is worse than Thor: The Dark World. Because this movie actually has better action, a handful of funny moments, a decent (albeit predictable) story, a fantastic tribute to Stan Lee, and Goose the Cat. Who is free from any criticism due to being equal parts adorable, hilarious, and awesome.

However, there is one major issue that this movie has, and that is Brie Larson's Captain Marvel. Before you say anything, no, it's not because she barely smiles (shut it, if you think that's actually the problem). The problem is that I just don't know what they want her character to be. Is she meant to be playful yet mysterious, like Marceline from Adventure Time? Is she meant to be a stoic badass with a deadpan sense of humor like Garnet from Steven Universe? Or is she supposed to be this perfect hero with witty remarks like Kim Possible from Kim Possible? Because at times, it feels like the people behind this movie are trying to do all three personalities at once, which makes the character feel disjointed. Plus, it's probably not a good thing that I listed three female characters in children's shows better than this character in this movie for teens and adults. Nor is it a good thing that every actor, including the males, act circles around Brie Larson, who is known for giving Oscar-worthy performances. Still, I'm willing to allow the benefit of the doubt that this issue will be solved in time for Captain Marvel 2, as it took both Captain America and Thor a while before they finally became fan favorites. For now, while Captain Marvel is nowhere near the worst, I wouldn't exactly jump the gun and call it the best, either.

9th place: Doctor Strange (6/10)

This movie is somehow both memorable and forgettable at the same time. The visuals alone help make Doctor Strange memorable, seeing the world bend and morph in a way that is best experienced on the most gigantic screen you can find. The visuals even lend to making the fight scenes unforgetable, resulting in action that's hard to forget. It's still just punching and kicking, but the way this movie uses punching and kicking that makes it fun to watch. Such as having Strange fight wizards as astral projections, or while the world is reversing in on itself, dodging debris as it puts itself back into place. Plus, that ending is not only the most unique defeat of a bad guy that any MCU movie has done, but it also proves how selfless Doctor Strange can be as a hero. So I won't be able to forget bits and pieces of this movie...but I can easily forget everything else. The jokes, plot, characters, and especially the villain are things I tend to lose track of on each rewatch. Which might honestly be worse than it sounds. Because while it's still a fun movie that I recommend, it's not a good thing that I constantly forget it, even as I'm writing this.

8th place: Ant-Man and the Wasp (7.5/10)

How is Ant-Man and the Wasp a dividing movie for MCU fans? People either really hate it or just think it's ok, and I don't get that. Because personally, I think this movie is really good. Yeah, there are leaps in logic, and the ending is a huge cop-out, especially since this movie came after Avengers: Infinity War. But I think Ant-Man and the Wasp incredibly improve upon the original with a tighter story and better-written characters, who all have great personalities and fantastic chemistry. Sure, these characters fall flat during certain dramatic moments, but really succeed when written for comedy. My personal favorite is Cassie, who might just be my favorite little girl character in fiction. She admires her father for everything he does, going so far as to smile with glee as he's wreaking shop in the finale. 

Speaking of her father, I really love how Ant-Man and the Wasp differentiate Scott Lang from the rest of the Avengers. In a world of gods and supersoldiers, you have Ant-Man, who's basically just a regular guy. The best example that shows how it that montage of him doing stuff while under house arrest. If any of our other heroes were in this situation, they would take advantage of the time to train, build cool s**t, and maybe even meditate. But for Scott? He wastes time singing karaoke, practicing close-up magic, and crying himself to sleep while reading The Fault in our Stars. It's a great way of showing how he's a little fish in the world's biggest pond. And I like that.

This movie may not be perfect, but every now and again, it's nice to get something small-scale (get it) and personal within the grand adventures in the MCU.

7th Place: Captain America: Civil War (8/10)

There are three camps of people who argue about this movie. The first camp is the people who fight about whether this is a Captain America movie or an Avengers movie. The second camp is the people who disagree on how Captain America: Civil War is the same as Batman v. Superman-Dawn of Justice. The third and final camp argues whether or not the movie is better than the comics. And I'm about to address each and every one of these camps.

First off, this is an Avengers movie. Captain America may take a more primary role, but consider that Thanos is easily the main character in Avengers: Infinity War, and how that movie isn't called Thanos: Infinity War. The fact that Cap barely takes center stage kind of ruins this being his movie, which is why it's arguably the worst Captain America movie by default, but that doesn't change how good this is. Mostly because it's easily a better Avengers movie than Age of Ultron.

As for how this movie is the same as Batman v. Superman, I can tell you right now that it isn't. They're similar in concept, I'll give you that, but their differences meet with the execution of said concepts. Yes, both movies have two people with different ideas fighting it out due to heroes causing collateral damage while inadvertently doing what an evil mastermind, with a tediously complicated plan, expects them to do. But you wanna know what Civil War has that BvS doesn't? Comedy. Marvel's ability to laugh at itself, to realize that what they're making shouldn't be taken too seriously, is what makes it worth the watch. Every. Time. Plus, I find it hilarious that a movie with four times the amount of superheroes manages to give each character a proper story and subplot than the film with just three.

This leads me to my third point: The movie is much better than the comics. Would it have been more awesome to see the number of characters we have now battle it out than seeing the relatively small one in this movie? Maybe. But look at Infinity War and Endgame. As good as those movies are, there were still many characters that got the short end of the stick. By keeping the cast small, Civil War gives each hero time to have an understandable motivation to pick one side or the other while giving each of their stories a proper conclusion. Even Black Panther and Spider-Man, introduced in this movie as sequel bait, still somehow manage to have clear motives and satisfying stories. Plus, where the comics make it hard to pick a side between Captain America and Iron Man because both made awful decisions after awful decisions, the movie makes it hard to pick and choose because both have to make hard decisions. Both Cap and Iron Man have clear reasons for their choices as well as hesitations. But they still see the point of view of the opposing side and try to talk things out. Which makes things all the more heartbreaking when they finally disagree. Something that never happened in the comics even once.

Overall, Captain America: Civil War is a great movie. It may not entirely be a Captain America movie, and the villain's plan is, again, tediously complicated. But it's still good because it understands the importance of characters and even a sense of humor. Which is something that I wish I could say about Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice.

6th place: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 (9/10)

It's not every day that the sequel is better than the original, let alone being equally good. And yet, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 is just as fun as its predecessor, if not a smidge better. Everything that I love about the first movie is here in spades, with a few improvements added to the appeal. Like the visuals, which not only have the colors and gradient turned up to thousand, but there are also some spectacular shots that at times look like they could be panels in a comic book. Plus, Ego the Living Planet is a much better villain than Ronan ever could be. Ego's motivations are typical, but his charming personality creates a character that's fun to watch while also showing how dangerous a person like Ego could be when his true motivations are revealed. Although, despite improvements, there are still some elements that Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 takes away. Because while most of the jokes are funny, there are some scenes where it's hard to tell if I'm supposed to be laughing or feeling emotional. Also, I just hate what they did to Drax in this movie. In the first one, he was a stoic badass with a deadpan sense of humor. Here, he's written as a dumb a**hole who gets one emotional scene. And it's a powerful one, sure, but it's not enough. Still, I love this movie. If I had to pick which one is better, I would probably say it's Vol 2, but even then, it's a close race, in my opinion.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And that’s all for now. Here’s part two.

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

would you ever do a general rating of the 1d music videos?

I genuinely thought that I had already answered this, but I hadn’t.  So my answer is: Of course! I thought you’d never ask.

One Thing: Music videos are inherently absurd and in some ways the more naturalistic they try and be the more ridiculous they are - because you still have these people lip syncing through life.  One of the reason that One Thing works so well - is that idea of the video is that 1D are performing their song through London.  So you get all the absurd joy of an upbeat music video performance, but it feels real, because they are actually travelling through London on a bus performing.

There are so many perfect moments in this video: Harry’s ridiculous cheesyness at the beginning, Zayn with the Hijabi, Niall busking, Louis looking on while Zayn is busking and sort of taking charge, all the beautiful heartbreaking connection and charm on the bus.  Even Liam’s going blank as someone takes a picture with him - is capturing an importat aspect of who he is.  The framework that they were performing, allowed all these moments to come out that felt very real.

Kiss You: Glorious high energy ridiculousness.  The simple concept of tribute to Elvis movies works really well - working with the unrealness of filming makes the video feel grounded in a paradoxical way.  One of the reasons I like music videos is that they need to be based on an idea that can be executed in such a short space of time.  And that’s what I think 

What Makes You Beautiful: Is the WMYB music video actually good? maybe not.  There’s some really ridiculous cross fade editing and nothing about it is particularly interesting.  But it doesn’t matter, because I love it ever so much.  There’s so much joy from their performances - and they’re wearing really ridiculous trousers.  

Plus the ocean is in it lots and I haven’t been for a swim for almost five months and I haven’t seen a body of water larger than a duck pond for longer. Joy and a sense of place is enough for a music video.

Little Things: Sweet, sincere, naturalistic and effective.  It’s very simple and simple is hard.  But everything about it (except the song) works.

Best Song Ever: Such an absurd music video - but heaps of fun and that’s all that really matters.  Obviously Marcel and Veronica alone would be enough, but there is a lot of other joy to be had here, they interact with each other - and there’s synchroised dancing.  

(A small side note, I hadn’t realised that it was filmed in a synagogue, until Ben mentioned it recently on a day that was definitely not hte anniversary of it being filmed.  And I couldn’t stop thinking about it when watching, because it’s so obvious.  And there are all sorts of ways that the space doesn’t feel like an office, but a set pretending to be an office.  It doesn’t really matter in this video, because it’s supposed to be absurd, but Ben is really, really bad at sense of place in his videos).

Story of My Life: This is an excellent concept for a music video - it’s simple enough that it can be explored in four minutes, but it is interesting.  There’s an incredible behind the scene team that recreated houses from the 1990s, and those sequences really work for me.  The space they sing in also looks really cool and interesting, in a way that fits with the theme of the video.  Despite these strengths, it also invented 1D standing in a line, singing, but not interacting while being filmed from below, which is the curse of later 1D music videos.  (I absolutely get the appeal of 1D members having bits by themselves, and therefore making filming less intense for all involved, but why then choose such a terrible way for them to come together again?)

Live While We’re Young:  Watching the treatment has really brought out the weakness of this video to me.  The frolicking is fun - the whole video is super high energy and full of joy, but where are they and why? The video is just too clean, both literally and figureatively, to make the fun these people in their late teens and early twenties are supposedly having seem real.

Drag Me Down:  The concept behind the video is amusingly basic (’the opposite of being dragged down is going into space!’), but the video itself mostly works.  The setting is more than interesting enough to sustain 3 minutes and elevent seconds of 1D members existing in it. And Harry and the robot is actively good.

You & I: I’ve never quite understood the vitriol directed at this video.  It’s quite drab and not actively good, but there’s interaction between 1D members and the British seaside in bleak weather is a sense of place.  (Here’s getting even more controversial.  I’ve no idea why people call this plagerism.  Using the same special effect is hardly plagerism - and music videos as a genre involve a lot of using ideas.  

Perfect: I struggled with where to place this, because there’s a lot of good moments: the interview, Liam and Louis messing around, Harry and Harry L. And there should be a sense of space.  But ultimately the inexplicable decision to film in black and white really brings this video down for me.  As far as I can tell the only reason it was done that way to make it look pretty.  And I have a real thing about filmakers choosing aesthetics in a way that undermines what they’re actually trying to do.  If it had felt more real and grounded this video could have so easily captured the cooped up feeling of luxury - and the ways you cope in it that the song mentions.  But instead it’s just a series of aesthetically chosen snippets - and then people singing in a line for no reason.  

Night Changes: This video is at least a couple of places higher than it should be, because of the incadescent hammy charm of Harry’s performance.  Also because the fact that Niall wants to kill you at least makes his segment interesting. But I will say that I think the depiction of y/n ends up being quite misogynist, particularly because the video makes her everywoman.  She’s ridiculously passive thorughout each scenario, not just being led around by 1D members on the date itself, but also doing nothing while Niall is on fire.  Then her judgements are absurdly shallow - blaming Zayn for her ex being an asshole and Niall for being set on fire (although if she’s just using it as excuse to escape that’s legit)

History: This video is also a struggle - because the footage is really good and the present day performance is really bad.  In the end I dropped it down the list, because of the way it squandered potential and how easy it would be to make a better version of this video.

Gotta Be You: In a lot of ways Gotta Be You isn’t bad it’s just boring with some very odd serious faces.  But I can never unsee Liam rending at his trousers after singing ‘what a mess I made upon your innocence’ - and the video has to take responsibility for that.

Midnight Memories: This video is an abomination - trying for joy and a sense of place and failing spectacularly at both.  I have written a whole post about everything that is wrong with Midnight Memories.  And the only thing I’d like to add is: ‘Stop assuming that women owe you attention Niall’.  

Steal My Girl: So mostly this is just a mediocre video.  There’s no emotional core to it.  There’s no real sense of place - and the attempts at surrealism are super basic.  But it would be a lot higher up (because there’s a lot of bad 1D videos), if it wasn’t for the depiction of what is supposed to be Masai culture.

That video mostly depicts performers in that desert.  Ballet Dancers, marching bands, Sumo Wrestlers, rhythmic gymnasts and mimes.  These are all people who are performing in this video in a way they perform for a living.  To include a depiction of Masai people in that context, is to reduce Masai culture to a performance for white people.  

I think it’s also really importat that the Masai are presumably black American extras dressed up to look like Masai, while everyone else from ballet dancers to Sumo wrestlers, are what they are performing.  And I think you can really tell - particularly the difference between Zayn’s interaction with the Sumo wrestlers, and Niall’s interaction with the Masai.  The Sumo wrestlers are depicted as people who are interacting with Zayn and have agency. (There may very well also be things Japanese people object to about the depiction of Sumo wrestlers! Obviously I’m not an expert in any of this.  But I do think the difference between having people with knowledge, and having people dress up is very significant).

More than that, the whole idea of ‘bringing life to the desert’ is also a colonial idea.  There is life in a desert - and there are people who have lived in the desert - the idea that the desert is lifeless and needs to be transformed by outsiders only makes sense for people who want to erasing existing life and claim it as their own. 

One Way or Another Teenage Kicks: DAVID FUCKING CAMERON! JUST STANDING THERE SURROUNDED BY ONE DIRECTION MEMBERS!  Even if you leave aside the current set of clusterfucks that David Cameron is directly responsible for, because they didn’t know about them (WHICH I DON’T!), austerity was killing people in 2013.  David Cameron’s Tory governement relentlessly attacked poor and disabled people and made their lives worse. It’s shameful that any of them were prepared to be in a video with him.  (There is also the larger issue of the way Comic Relief constructs ‘Africa’ and the white saviourism of this video, but the appearance of David Cameron’s smug face means I can’t concentrate enough to write about it).

[skyhopedango]

anime I’ve been watching recently

Oh hey, I’m alive. Sorta? Between work being overwhelming and my schedule being kind of out of whack my energy to do anything in my off time, other than staring at the screen, has been at an all-time low... so low I can’t even throw words on the screen to make some posts.

But hey, I’ve still been staring at the screen, and I do have some opinions that I really need to get out of my system. So, this is the stuff I’ve been watching in the past months:

Listeners: No screenshot for this one because I don’t have any lying around anymore, but anyway, yeah, this was fun? Sure, the ending was stupid and didn’t make any sense, but then again, I wasn’t watching this show for the story, or with any expectations of it being “great” or “worthy” or whatever. It was a fun way of turning off my brain for half an hour every week, and I really enjoyed the music references which were much better-informed/researched and executed than in most anime or manga (where they usually just throw the reference in your face and be like “get it? huh? getit??? aren’t we smart?? you should feel smart, too!”). So what if it ended with “Uh, we actually never planned this far, let’s just do every mech anime ending ever”, the journey was worth it.

Nami yo kiitekure: No screenshot for this one either. Nami yo kiitekure was... meh? It started out well, with Minare being a fun and relatable lead, but then it kind of... stalled. And to be honest I got really annoyed with all the shouting. I don’t mind shouty comedy at all (some of my favorite anime comedies are like that) but here the pacing didn’t really work. And I never got the appeal of the live radio segments either (even though I do actually listen to a lot of radio!), perhaps because the seiyuu was just hamming it up instead of delivering a convincing performance, which I kind of expected to be the point. Anyway, I dropped this halfway through. Nothing technically wrong with it, but it’s not my cup of tea.

The Great Pretender: I actually wrote about this previously, and I haven’t seen any new episodes since then. Are they already out? :O What’s going on with this show’s release schedule?

Appare-Ranman: Oh, this is back! And I... don’t really like it as much as I did the first 3 episodes? I dunno, in the recent episodes it kind of lost its swagger and instead settled comfortably into that “Show That Could Have Been On Adult Swim In When American Anime Fans In Their 30s Were Watching That” routine that has been so prevalent in the recent Netflix-backed shows that I seriously believe it’s on purpose, to emulate popular shows in the US and appeal to viewer nostalgia. And this means that to me the show has become kind of... boring, really. Like, again, there’s nothing actually wrong with it, it’s by far the best of PA Works’ attempts at trying new things, and I am still watching it and derive enjoyment from it. But I don’t find it particularly interesting, it’s just going through the motions without adding anything exciting, visually, story-wise or character-wise. Like come on, it’s The Year of Our Lord 2020, do something new or interesting! Like for example...

Deca-Dence: Oh yes. See, when the first episode came out and people were raving and doing the “anime is saved!” thing, I was like “...huh? but this was like every damn fantasy adventure anime ever.” I mean it looked nice, sounded nice, but it was soooo derivative and boring. And then the second episode rolled around and I was like “OK, now you’ve got my attention! :D” and my attention has stayed with the show ever since. See, here’s the difference between this and say, Appare-Ranman: it’s not that Deca-Dence is doing anything revolutionary either, but it’s at least doing something instead of just following a template. Its ambitions don’t stop with having cool visuals and cute character designs. 

And another plus for Deca-Dence vs Appare-Ranman: the female characters in Deca-Dence don’t have that stupid PAW “cute anime girl” permablush. God that’s so annoying.

Gibiate: And on topic of shows trying for a retro appeal... yeah. There’s this one. You know those snobbish anime fans who always bemoan the decline of anime, and talk about how back in their time anime as such was better? Yeah, you can tell those people have had a very curated experience of anime “back in the days”, because back in the days, in our case in the ‘80s and early ‘90s, “anime as such” was actually more like this one. Really, Gibiate feels like it’s a zombie of some early ‘90s action show resurrected for some weird experiment, and now it just kind of shambles along aimlessly, not knowing what it’s doing in the present or how it should handle the changes of time. It’s kind of embarrassing, really... well, it was for the three episodes I watched. I dropped it out of secondhand embarrassment, more than anything.

GITS:SAC 2045: Oh yes, there’s this one as well. As I predicted, it was crap. It kind of feels like the creators were contracted to do a new series, but they had no actual ideas for a GITS:SAC sequel, nor any inspiration, and also nothing particular they wanted to say with the new show. Hell, apparently they didn’t rewatch GITS:SAC to refresh their memories of the show they were ostensibly trying to create a sequel for. OK, Imma rant about this a bit (copy-pasting something I wrote elsewhere).

1. The visuals are shit. Look, I'm not biased against CG, a lot of shows I enjoy have CG, a lot of them have bad CG. I tend not to care a lot about animation quality be it amazing or crap, as long as I enjoy the rest of the show. But this show looks like shit. The characters are rubber dolls floating in virtual space, physical character interaction is distracting, and all the action is hilaribad. Character animation is fucked up so often, like, they tried to give the Major a sexy hip sway but the result has her walking like she has a stick shoved up her butt. Hell, often they couldn’t even animate lip flaps properly, which doesn’t make the soulless masks the characters have for faces any more expressive. Also, character design-wise, the Major sticks out like a sore thumb, looking like a Sexy Dollfie among all the semi-realistic character designs. It’s kinda offensive, really. 2. Again, I could have lived with the visuals, if the rest of the show was any good. But it's not. With the exception of that one episode with the bank robbery, that was good and felt like real GITS:SAC, this is like someone's subpar fanfic, which is sad considering the writers behind the show. Characterization is weird and fucked up and doesn’t follow SAC. The worldbuilding went from the rather well thought out backdrop of SAC to a mess of ~edgy~ concepts mixed without any particular depth given to them. "Sustainable war!!! Thinkpol!!! 1984!!!!!" 3. The concept of post-humans is such a huge missed opportunity. Paired with the whole "ThinkPol" thing (as eyeroll-inducing as that is) there was a pretty good chance there to explore the dehumanizing aspect of the internet, and tie it into the "anon vigilante crowds" thing the story seems to be trying to get going. But nope, they just went with the stupidest routes. Also, the whole idea of "post-humans" doesn't flow organically from the worldbuilding of SAC, it just feels like something they came up with because they had to do something new. It also kinda feels like someone watched Darker Than Black one too many times.

So yeah, so, so disappointing. I’ll be watching S2 when it comes along because eh, more GITS, but I’m not gonna pretend this is anything but a subpar attempt to cash in on the franchise.

[thankskenpenders]

So there’s this little cartoon you may have heard of...

As I’ve said on this blog before, I’d never watched all of SatAM. This might be shocking to hear from someone who runs a blog dedicated to Archie Sonic and one of the top twenty Bunnie Rabbot fangirls in the world. But it’s true.

SatAM was very difficult to track down compared to other Sonic cartoons when I was a kid, and I just never got around to watching it as an adult. So for the longest time, I had only ever seen the first episode, which I found uploaded in parts on YouTube in 2007. As the one cartoon featuring the characters I liked from the comics, it became sort of this holy grail of Sonic media for me as a kid, especially with people online always talking it up as the best thing ever and petitioning for a revival. Hell, to this day, a lot of people hold it up as this masterpiece and act like the Archie comics were a complete mockery of it

Anyway so I finally got around to watching the whole series with my boyfriend these past couple weeks, and it was pretty good. So instead of covering a comic today, here are some thoughts on the cartoon that started it all

General Thoughts

SatAM is a pretty good show. It isn’t the greatest piece of Sonic media ever, unlike what some older fans will tell you. It might not even be the best Sonic cartoon (you could easily make a case for the Japanese version of Sonic X, or Sonic Boom if you’re looking for something more comedic). It hasn’t aged the most gracefully, in some ways. The animation’s cheap, the stories sometimes bland. But for a DiC-produced video game cartoon from the early ‘90s, it’s really solid

I think that in many ways, SatAM is carried by the strength of its ideas over its actual execution. The darker, more serious tone is a really cool idea, even if at times it can get a little dull, and even if the show actually gets silly as hell pretty often. (This is a show where Snively literally tortures a captive Antoine by preparing French cuisine improperly.) That opening scene of Robotropolis in the first episode actually sets the mood really well and feels like it came straight out of some cyberpunk anime from the ‘80s or ‘90s. The concept of Robotnik turning people into robot slaves is really cool, even if surprisingly little was done with this aside from Uncle Chuck’s storyline. And I think the Freedom Fighters make a great supporting cast for Sonic, even if the writers didn’t use them to their full potential

Interestingly, I’d often heard from fans that season one was the stronger of the two, when I’d say that the opposite is true. Season one episodes were pretty samey, usually involving low stakes missions to Robotropolis with no real continuity, and Sally ended up being a damsel in distress more than I’d like--hell, so did Bunnie in a few episodes. It wasn’t bad, but it was highly repetitive, and I got a little bored at times. Season two had a few real stinkers (the Antoine episodes) and Dulcy was an unwelcome addition, but I thought the heavier focus on continuity gave the season some real momentum and more emotional weight, which made it way more enjoyable overall

Things I Liked

Sonic. I quite liked this version of Sonic, actually! Jaleel White is a great Sonic, and he was written pretty well. At times the extremely tubular ‘90s lingo was grating (I never wanna hear “Gotta juice!” again), but I was surprised to see that this version of Sonic had a lot of heart. He really cared about the well-being of his friends and Uncle Chuck, and they even let him cry a couple times. I thought they struck a good balance between snark and sincerity with him

Sally. I don’t think SatAM Sally was perfect, but I liked her. I’m still of the opinion that she should have been given more ways to defend herself physically (maybe some kind of power of her own) so that Sonic didn’t have to save her as much, but I liked the banter she and Sonic had. Unlike the early Archie comics, Sally doesn’t come off as the bossy girlfriend who ruins Sonic’s fun. Maybe it’s Jaleel White and Kath Soucie’s performances doing most of the work, but they had a fun back and forth dynamic, with Sally’s sarcasm keeping Sonic’s ego in check, but there still being clear chemistry between the two of them

I also liked the greatly reduced emphasis on her being a princess compared to much of Archie’s material. Like yeah, it’s there. Her dad’s the king, and left her some classified info via Nicole. But her status doesn’t really affect things much. They don’t talk about her having this grand destiny and being the next in line to rule. It’s clear that she’s in charge of the Freedom Fighters not because of her status, but because she’s smart, brave, and gets shit done. That’s the Sally I like.

Plus! In the finale, Sally insisted upon going with Sonic for the final confrontation, and was a crucial part of the climax. Her powering up with Sonic and matching his speed and strength ruled. Compare that to the climactic defeat of Robotnik in Archie, where she was fucking dead

Robotnik. I don’t think much needs to be said here. Jim Cummings rules as Robotnik, like everyone has always said. He’s just so evil and so much fun to watch

Snively??? I’ve never cared for Snively as a character, but Charlie Adler rules and his over-the-top performance made the character way funnier than he should’ve been. Just something about all the little noises he makes, and the way he almost shifts into the Red Guy voice at times

Nicole. It was fun to see Nicole start to get more of a personality in season two, having some banter with Sonic and also picking up some slang from him. It makes the later decision to turn Sally’s computer into a full character (which would have happened in season three, and obviously eventually became a big subplot in the comics) make a lot of sense

King Acorn. While he was only around briefly, I liked that he wasn’t a huge dick, unlike Archie’s King Max

Things I Didn’t Like

The misuse of the other Freedom Fighters. This is, by far, the show’s greatest crime.

I already write approximately 100k words a week on this blog about how I think Bunnie Rabbot is amazing and criminally underused, so I’ll keep this brief, but I was shocked to see how little she was used in this show. People tend to say Dulcy stole her screentime in season two, but she didn’t have much to do in the first season either! We somehow never got a single episode focusing on her. The one where she got temporarily deroboticized focused much more on Uncle Chuck. We never got to learn the story behind her roboticization, or delved into her feelings on the matter much. She mostly just served as a positive, lighthearted supporting member of the team who acts cute and gets some funny lines, but usually stays home

Antoine might have been even worse, honestly. Like, they used him so much! They had multiple episodes focusing entirely on him! And yet I’m not sure he ever really helped. Sonic and Sally kept taking him along, but every single time it felt like it would’ve been a wiser decision to bring Bunnie instead. The jokes about his broken English were just dumb, and god, the way he constantly hits on Sally and starts kissing her hand at the most inappropriate times is just SO fucking creepy. SatAM Antoine is just a horrible, one-dimensional stereotype. There’s a reason why readers of the Archie comics wanted him out of the series until later writers majorly rehabilitated him

Rotor also didn’t get much use, which was a shame, but it at least felt like he was used efficiently. I got the vibe that Rotor was much more bitter about the war with Robotnik than his friends, and it would’ve been interesting to see this explored more. At least we got that one fun episode where he went to space with Sonic

Dulcy. Oh my fucking god. I wanted to like Dulcy! I really did! But most of the time she was just a clutz used for comic relief, and they kept reusing the same joke where she crashed, bumped her head, got dizzy, and thought she was talking to her mom. This happened in almost every episode she was in.

The other miscellaneous Freedom Fighters. Like in the early Archie comics, none of the other miscellaneous Mobians they meet were as interesting as the core cast. They just always felt very bland and I was never as invested in them as the writers wanted me to be. Ari was boring, and that episode where they found the underground city and this other dude started hitting on Sally was a drag. Lupe’s cute though

Rings. This is a common problem in Sonic adaptations, but the fact that rings always serve as Sonic’s instant win button kind of sucks. Basically any time Sonic’s in a pinch, he pulls a ring out of his backpack, powers up, and wins. Not exactly a recipe for suspenseful action

Oh, also, I did kinda find it weird how much Sonic and Sally kissed? Like, all the time? Often while their friends just stand there and stare at them? Not something I’d expect from a Sonic cartoon

Things Archie Did Better

I’ll limit this to the first 50 issues or so, since I don’t think it would be fair to compare two short seasons of SatAM to the highlights of nearly 500 issues of comics

Tails. Tails is okay in SatAM, Archie just used him as Sonic’s sidekick way more. He was barely even in the show. Poor little guy only gets to play dirt hockey all day

Bunnie. Again, Bunnie was underutilized in both series, but the Archie comics did her better. They actually showed the story of how she got roboticized (even if it was a silly story), and they got to flesh her out a bit more. Gallagher showing that she was a carrot farmer before her roboticization and saying she wanted to be a hairdresser was at least something. And as I keep harping on, Rich Koslowski’s backup story in #37 where we find out Bunnie has recurring nightmares about her robot parts taking over and making her a threat to her friends? This single backup story did more to flesh her out than all 26 episodes of SatAM combined

Antoine. Not hard to do better than SatAM here, really. He was really bad early on, serving as little more than Sonic’s punching bag, but eventually they started to set up a romance between him and Bunnie and explored his past a bit, saying that Antoine’s father (his personal role model) was a member of the royal guard who was roboticized in the war. While he still had a long way to go, these were important first steps towards him being a decent character. Hell, these days, being Bunnie’s love interest is one of Antoine’s defining characteristics! And it doesn’t come from the cartoon at all

Roboticization in general. I was surprised how little this came up in the cartoon! In the comics, it’s such a central element. We see more of the heroes’ loved ones turned into robots, and we even got some fun stories where characters like Sonic and Sally were roboticized temporarily. The Freedom Fighters’ efforts to reverse the process was a major part of the plot for quite a while. Bunnie’s fear of losing control is a pretty important part of her character (even if it was only touched on briefly), and after they’re rescued, the rest of the Mobians fear that the “Robians” (including Sonic’s entire family) will turn evil again. It comes up a lot! There are interesting things to discuss here! But SatAM only really talks about Uncle Chuck. We never even see what happened to everyone else

Closing Thoughts

SatAM is not the best show in the world, but it is a solid and enjoyable one. It’s easy to see why people who grew up with it are fond of it, even if I think that it’s long past time certain fans quit acting like it’s the only valid take on the Sonic source material and petitioning for a third season. At the very least, the concepts and characters introduced here are strong ones, and it’s easy to see how they spawned over 20 years of comics exploring said ideas in greater detail. While I’m not sure I could recommend it to non-fans, I think it’s definitely worth checking out for Sonic fans who missed out on it (especially fans of the Archie comics)

Anyway I got to see Bunnie dropkick some Swatbots twice her height so I had fun

[zeravmeta]

Ok so, my thoughts on the VR ending and VR overall as the 6th entry.

Also because most of my thoughts aren't...complimentary im editing the names so they dont appear in the general tag. This also got LONG so readmore.

The Good:

- A//i's character still managed to be the one thing that saves VR as a show for me. Even with all the weird...contradictory plot issues, A//i still manages to be a compelling character who brings up the question of the right to live. I actually do like how he made it so itd be an ultimatum that he loses in either way, even if the ending kinda ruins the weight behind the action (which I will get to in a bit).

The meh:

-the ending was left somewhat open to interpretation which for a show as...empty as this was works out but honestly it was so vague as to A//is fate is that it may as well not exist.

The Bad:

-The main conflict behind the entire show is...simulations. No joke. Every conflict in the show can be traced back to someone doing a simulation and deciding to lose it. Even if they gave the (rather stupid) explanation that AI experience simulations like actual life (which btw the first villain wasnt an AI so this reason doesnt work), the fact that Yu//sa//ku took a bullet for one of A//is robot bodies that he literally has millions of is...just stupid and there solely for the "uwu drama".

-They actually killed A//i off but wait hes actually alive, so like the final duel literally had no purpose aside from...drama??? The episode is called Compromise and yet A//i had to lose just to keep Yu//sa///kus win streak and theres no compromise whatsoever. Yu//sa//ku litetally destroys the CompromA.I.se card so its just, no comrpomise in any way.

-This....wasn't a happy ending??? I have no idea why both the show and the fanbase frame this as a happy ending bc think about it in context: A//i pretty much loses everything, so does Yu//sa//ku who just isolated himself from everyone else for 3 months in order to comb the network for whatever remnants of A//i exist.

- So many of the supporting characters are just...there. Like, there is no side/supporting character who actually has a character arc in this show. Lets go through the list: Ao//i is pretty much the same character as when she started and goes through 2 unnecessary costume changes for a character growth that isnt there because she has literally ONE victory against an opponent that was stated multiple times to be weak and faulty and have her lose and tortured multiple times for no reason whatsoever, G//o had this weird deterioration that may have lead to something but ultimately didn't, Ak//ira is pretty much the same, J//in has ALL HIS TRAUMA ERASED SO THERES THAT, literally the only side characters who have some sembalnce of an arc are Sho//ichi (the best one anyways) from his "betrayal" in S2, and E//ma with her reconciliation with her brother. Outside of that, nothing. Yu//sa//ku, Re//volv//er and Ho//mu//ra are pretty much the only characters with an arc and even then they're not too solid? Which brings me to-

- Yu//sa//ku has been so wildly ooc since the end of S1. Ive seen so many say that his enphasis on bonds and friendship are character growth but actually looking at the sequence of events he suddenly just like. changes completely around his first duel with Ea//rth. Plus, the message of "revenge is good" was always so weird? Like, he got his revenge so all his trauma is ok now and never brought up or explored again aside from within the first 20 episodes. Theres nothing about it after that and its never built upon. The whole point of a revenge arc is to show that its BAD and yet he starts preaching that revenge is wrong AFTER he successfully gets revenge??? And even then its not exactly a revenge as it is more lashing out since it was Ko//ga//mi who was behind it all. Yu//sa/ku was definitely at his strongest characterization in S1 where we see how badly the Lo//st Incid//ent hurt him but S1 had its own share of problems that led into S2 and so many random plot threads that never went anywhere (such as the Anot//her Incid//ents, the Cy//berse deck being irl despite that A//i didnt have a physical body before then, The Bl//ue Mai//den meetup that was repeated by Nao//ki like 10 times in S2 which seemed to be leading up to something but never did, and the fact that theres 4 recap episodes in S1 already spelled some early problems). So much of the supporting cast function to just say "he turned this whole situation around...with ONE card..." i kid you not watch back every Yu//sa//ku duel I GUARANTEE you'll see someone saying hes a great duelist and serve only that purpose. ALSO THE END OF THE SHOW IS JUST MORE DRAMA?? They make him suffer for no reason other than that they can??? What purpose does his suffering at the end serve aside from just "uwu...poor baby..."???

-Re//volv//er is not a good rival. At all. He's so incredibly bland because much like Yu//sa//ku he was at his strongest characterization in S1 where he actually had some solid motivation in continuing his fathers work and being unable to accept that his dad was evil, yet most of that just flies out the window with all the collateral he's willing to inflict with the K//O//H?? All his character amounts too post S1 is "yeah i told you robots are evil and YOU didnt believe me". The most we got of him growing out of this mindset was calling A//i by his name exactly one time and nothing ever again. Also the fact that in the end we see him and his crew working for S//O//L despite the fact that they were gonna turn themselves in for their crimes just. leaves a rotten taste in my mouth. hes not a good rival at all. All he proves to me is that a good design can get anyone to like a character.

- Ho//mu//ra is...there. I literally cant say anything about him because he absolutely has the strongest motivations of the three but then the show jumps through hoops to push him to the back of the other two. He also has a bunch of early victories I do feel are undeserved (ESPECIALLY the A//oi duel that one pissed me off so much). Also the fact that the show just made him Yu//sa//kus friend immediately whereas it took Sho//ichi several months to get Yu//sa//ku to warm up to him just had me :/.

-The speed duels were a cool concept but they just became these huge cheat fests? Seriously Play//Maker uses StAccess literally every speed duel to pull out a new monster from whatever plot holes the writers need to patch up. I am not kidding. You can go back to every single speed duel Yu//sa//ku was in and youll see this. Skills just werent a good mechanic because when a protag pulls a new card its supposed to be representative of some growth/characterization but he stays the same pretty much throughout the entire show up until S2 where he wildly just switches personality. Plus the fact that Que//en could literally use a skill whenever just shows that it was cheating???

- The villains were overall lackluster. Boh//man was the best because Re//volv//er is just flat whereas A//i struck me more as an anti hero. And again: simulations are the enemy. Light//ning ran one and decided to go ham. Kog//ami ran one and decided to go ham. A//i ran one and decided to go ham. The conflicts are all the same and it just makes things happen rather than following a consistent plot thread? I will say that Boh//mans characterization of a hive mind to become perfect does strike my tastes but thats more my personal preference in villains rather than any merit he has.

- This is a bit of a personal pet peeve but I've seen some of the praise to this show about being the "darkest Y//G//O to date so therefore its good" and im just...no? Edge does not make a good show and just because they lightly focused on the tragedy in Yu//sa//kus life (and it IS lightly because its barely touched upon after mid S1) most of the stuff that happens in this show is pretty tame in comparison? The most that happened here was an attempted global hack of everyones minds from S2 and destroying the internet in S1, with a few references to the torture that happened during the Lo//st incid//ent. To compare: the previous series had this huge interdimensional war that, even if they could reverse the carding of people (which makes Den//nis' attempted suicide even more tragic), ended with an entire dimensions full of brainwashed soldier children, a dimension with huge class inequality that was still being heavily worked upon since there were canonically slaves, and a dimension that was savaged by a genocide and total global destruction. Hell, the series before that had a huge war where the arc actually did focus on the tragedys the characters faced and held consequence (even if they pulled a dbz revive everyone at the end). And as far back into the very first series there were even more graphic depictions of war and death? Idk i feel like people are overplaying the edge here just to find a way to complement this show.

Overall:

I'm...genuinely dissappointed. VR really had so many strong starting points but it all just fell apart at execution. Really the only reason I even bothered to watch it as kong as I did was because Im a longtime fan of the series and wanted to give it a chance rather than jump on whatever love/hate train the show has. Its been rated poorly on the JP side and most of the approval is a vocal minority. Just to be clear: this isnt me bashing the show, my opinions are mine and you can agree or disagree to any capacity, and even if a show isnt well written you can still find a reason to enjoy it despite the flaws.

But if Im being perfectly honest? I do not like this show. It's rushed, choppy, has no consistent or clear plot threads, most of the genuinely interesting characters are wasted for the protagonist to look better and he never really does because he ALSO has an interesting idea behind him but it never goes anywhere. It started strong but ended so poorly. Id be angry but im more dissappointed because Ive watched this show from day 1 and wanted to see the good things it has rather than focus on the negatibes but. yeah. This show really had potential and yet it just fell flat.