#but kamimura was wrong. hasegawa cared. tamba cared. hayashi cared. he was so very missed. and so so very loved

[eternitygarden]

[about kamimura] is an excellent episode not just because of how devastating it is, but because of how it hints towards hasegawa’s unreliability. while talking about how smart and funny kamimura was, he says something very interesting: “it’s like nobody else even talks about you anymore … the fact that i’m the only one who still think about you makes me feel so—”

hasegawa feels as if he’s the only person who still remembers kamimura. that he’s the only person grieving him. but we, the audience, are told time and time again that that’s not true. most evidently, we’re shown that it's false in tamba and hayashi’s student interviews.

when tamba is asked who’d she bring back she—without a single second of hesitation—says kamimura. she claims that she thinks that she misses him. she claims that she felt as though kamimura was practically the only person that she could call her friend. just like how kamimura was hasegawa’s only friend. and we saw how, despite the rough start and constant bickering, tamba and kamimura got along. they were friends, and tamba misses him.

when hayashi is asked about her thoughts on those who’ve died, she ends up saying a lot about kamimura. what’s most interesting here is the fact that a lot of what she says actually mirrors some of hasegawa’s own comments in [about kamimura]. when talking about what they liked about kamimura, they narrow in on the same two traits: he was smart, and he was funny. hell, hasegawa even claimed that he knew no one else found kamimura’s bluntness funny, when hayashi directly contradicts that by saying she loved his snarkiness! she also loved how kamimura made her feel normal—that she could talk about things like bodies with him, without being judged. they were friends, and hayashi misses him. 

hasegawa thinks he’s the only person that really misses kamimura, but then we have tamba and hayashi on the record talking about how much they miss him, too. hasegawa makes claims about the others that end up being false, because he’s isolated himself so much and he doesn’t care about them. he only cared about kamimura. he believes he was the only person to have cared about him, when that’s ultimately far from the truth.  it’s also interesting, then, that hasegawa kills hayashi. that he nearly gets away with framing tamba for it. the two people who could understand his grieving the most. the two people that clearly missed kamimura, too. he’s so blinded by his apathy and anger and false beliefs that he never realized that. and that’s such a fascinating aspect of his character. how, for as smart as he is, he’s very often wrong. especially when it comes to other people.