#but my guess is that the writers were debating the whole time if they should just write eddie and chris off the show

[metalcorebarbie]

don’t read the tags if you don’t want to get mad at me but also i want to shout into the void about 911

[terapsina]

Shoutout to the temporary ships that were created with the intention of getting in the way of the intended ship but that I actually liked way more than the ship the writers were trying to get me to root for.

(a.k.a I kinda get a bit salty on this one)

---

1. Laurel and Tommy - Arrow

As soon as they got introduced I felt the feeling of doom. Because they were so immediately adorable and full of chemistry. I loved them from the word go even though it was so clear they were going toward a Laurel and Oliver resolution (and then to add insult to injury they changed their minds on that, but Tommy was taken from Laurel anyway).

---

2. Clara and Danny - Doctor Who

It's up for debate if Clara's relationship with the Doctor was meant to be romantic-coded or not (I personally prefer it as 'not' but they really were very fuzzy with the lines) but either way Danny was still used as the threat that might separate them. And that was really annoying for me because I liked Clara and Danny so much. And then they killed him (which is a scene that still tears my heart to pieces).

---

3. Cordy and Doyle - Angel: The Series

They were short and sweet and I enjoyed them (and though the Cordy and Angel thing wasn't really a thing at the time, there were some signs that it was on the writers' minds... and I wasn't a fan). And then they killed Doyle (...I might have to rename this post to 'killing off the love interests I actually enjoyed to give way to the ships I didn't').

---

4. Rachel and Joey - F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

This ship went past my notice when I watched the show as a kid (my entire obsession rested on Monica and Chandler) but after rewatching as an adult I actually really liked their potential. It might have come up a bit unexpectedly but there really was something quite genuine about it (and Rachel deserved so much better than Ross). I wish they hadn't ended it as such a joke.

---

5. Worf and Troi - Star Trek: The Next Generation

They were created with the sole intention of getting in the way of Troi and Riker. But I liked them better. I just found them more interesting.

---

6. Tamsin and Bo - Lost Girl

They were more fun to watch than Bo and Lauren, had better chemistry and I just enjoyed them a lot more ('and then you see you' living in my head rent free for years now). But instead they gave Tamsin the short end of the stick and used her as a stepping stone (in so many ways, genuinely, even past shipping they just never gave that Valkyrie a single break... and then killed her in the most insulting way possible, because of course they did).

---

7. Wynonna and Dolls - Wynonna Earp

Talk about chemistry. Season 1 of that show was so good and I really did fool myself into thinking this was where they were heading but no, of course not (I should have learned my lesson about Emily Andras after she killed off Hale on Lost Girl). How is an old dude with a gross mustache more interesting than a literal dragon? The answer as far as I'm concerned... they're not (now guess if they killed him off. Guess!).

---

8. Lucy and Flynn - Timeless

A tragic love story happening in the wrong order and out of time because he meets her when he needs something to hold on to and she gives him a crusade. And she meets him while he's zealously following that crusade and thinks he's just a terrorist? Dude. But no, apparently the happy ending is supposed to be the guy that wanted the cake and to eat it too (sometimes I genuinely boggle at how the writers just will not notice when they've hit gold and instead go on beating that dead horse even more to death (and yup, somehow manage to kill the gold)) .

9. Dutch and Johnny - Killjoys.

(First I have to say that I still recommend this show a 100% and this is just quibble of a shipper at heart) But how is it that when you build the whole series around the heart of this relationship, you still end up using Johnny as a brief stop point (a la basically a Married!AU) before you put Dutch back with his brother? Like, yes, they're each other's best friends and always will be but people that are in love can be each other's ride or die best friends too.

---

10. Mel and Abigael - Charmed (2018)

Alright, Mel went through the intended love interests like candy (and I liked most of them well enough) but Abby was the one that intrigued me the most, so it was a great shame that she was never properly Mel's love interest at all and more enemy/antagonist/ally/friend with mostly one-sided feelings for Mel (enemies to friends to lovers was RIGHT THERE).

[fallynleaf]

this probably isn't relevant to the interests of anyone who follows me lol because it's 1) extremely niche and 2) involves Japanese-only media that isn't accessible anyway, but it's one of the weirdest fandom experiences i've ever had so i wanted to document it here lol

anyway, last year i got obsessed with a short film (正体不明) for a real-life exhibition about fictional missing people (A Missing Exhibition). ended up writing a whole novella-length fanfic for it lol and then emailed the director of the film to see if they could make the film accessible again

in my email, i debated whether or not i should come out to Kondo and be like "i really liked this media as a gay person specifically", but ultimately decided to take the risk, and it paid off beyond my wildest dreams because not only did this make him happy, but he told me that his next film starred a gay couple, which wasn't even publicly known at the time 🥺

one of the other creators of A Missing Exhibition, Tokio Omori, also produced a textually gay work right after it (the """BL drama""" Fictional), so we had a solid 2/3 of the main trifecta of Missing Exhibition creators making overtly gay stuff. but Nashi, the main creative brain behind the project, didn't write any overtly gay stuff (that we were aware of)

well. that changed this year lol

a couple months ago, Nashi announced a new short story he'd written, and it was, of all things, cakeverse BL 😭

like. what do u even say… i feel like you have to be pretty deep in the BL mines to get to omegaverse in general, much less the omegaverse derivatives. so how does he even know about cakeverse?? is his openly bisexual fudanshi vtuber friend to blame? is he simply way too online???

but also whomst among us hasn’t written extremely niche gay cannibal AU fanfic 🫥

i hated that i was definitely going to read this and break my lifelong streak of never having read anything omegaverse or omegaverse-adjacent, but i was so curious to see what he was doing with this story… i suspected that as a horror writer, his main intent was probably to make the reader uncomfortable, in which case cakeverse would serve him just fine, haha

it did get me thinking about how on earth i’d adapt some of my weirder fanfics for an audience of normies (which this audience presumably is). i’m not sure that I could even do it?

a friend and i were joking like “if he knows about cakeverse, what other deep fandom things does he know about?” but honestly i can’t think of anything deeper fandom than “omegaverse derivative”. like. nothing tops what this already is

really funny to think back to me being nervous to come out in my email to Kondo because i wasn’t sure how he and the others would receive it, or how they’d take the fact (if they were to discover it) that my friends and i had interpreted their characters as gay and i’d written a whole fan novella for 正体不明 that contains gay sex, and then meanwhile Nashi himself was out there contemplating CAKEVERSE BL 😭

in any case, i physically shipped the anthology the story is part of all the way over from Japan (going to all this trouble just to read cakeverse BL...), and i painstakingly read it with manual lookups (since i didn't have Yomitan with it being a print book and all).

and... it was actually really good?? and it contained what might be the single most messed up cannibalism moment i've ever seen in all my time consuming (lol) cannibalism media. Nashi is a freak lol i can say that much dfjkghdfjkgh

i'll talk about it a bit more under a cut, but i need to give some content warnings, first.

i guess to start with, the ones he himself gave:

※ケーキバースBL (*cakeverse BL) ※人肉食（唾液や涙ではなく人肉食）要素あり (*contains elements of cannibalism (not saliva or tears, but consumption of human flesh)) ※独自解釈あり (*original interpretation) ※何でも許せる人向け (*Dead Dove: Do Not Eat)

i'd also add a tw for: suicidal ideation and self harm, and some descriptions of vomit, as well as major character death

with that out of the way, let's dive in (or dig in?)...

this story actually really subverted my expectations and the writing was a lot better than i was expecting from the premise. like, no offense to Nashi, but cakeverse comes with certain limitations, so i wasn't really expecting a whole lot from it, but tbh i think out of all of his prose stories i've read (so not counting the puzzle chapters of the box book and not counting Missing Exhibition), this is my favorite short story of his.

the story did a good job of setting up an expectation and then turning it on its head in the next section, all the way up until the end. it started out with a gory mystery, then set up all of these worldbuilding elements that led you to come to a certain conclusion, then introduced the characters and their actual motivation and totally subverted what you had been led to believe by the prior section and ended with a horrifying and gory description that was even grosser than i'd imagined from the setup kjghdfjkg

i guess to sum up the plot, it opens with kind of the classic horror story setup of the outsider POV with someone basically being like "let me tell you about something shocking and horrific that happened to my classmates".

the classmate describes a so-called "murder suicide" that occurred overnight in the classroom, though the term isn't a perfect fit because what appears to have happened is that Yuu, a fork, ate Nao, a cake, then killed himself with a knife. unusually, there were no signs at all that Nao had struggled or resisted, and also Yuu threw up afterward, which suggests that Nao didn't hate what was happening, and also that Yuu appeared to have regretted it or been unable to stomach it afterward...

it's a pretty gnarly scene, so i thought at first, "ah, so we're doing straightforward 'forks eating cakes is kinda horrific huh' as the main horror aspect of this story, then."

the classmate describes the whole incident with a level of callous flippancy and rubbernecking that seems insensitive considering what had happened.

at this point, the exposition goes into detail about the whole cake and fork thing, and we learn that this is a little understood condition that has no cure or known treatment. cakes give off a particular scent that they themselves can't detect, which is only perceptible to forks. cakes are that way since birth, but a fork's nature emerges later in life. they'll suddenly stop being able to smell or taste anything, except for cakes, which smell/taste like the best thing in the world to them.

naturally, this leads to occasional incidents where a fork basically loses control and preys upon a cake, which is basically the only way they can actually enjoy eating again since losing taste/smell makes normal food lose all pleasure.

and these occasional incidents where a fork murders a cake also creates a society that is prejudiced against forks, and they're heavily discriminated against, despite recent efforts to counteract discrimination against them. this leads them to basically stay in hiding (you can only identify a fork if they self-identify, as there is no way to test it), and that plus the isolation and such creates worse conditions where they're not able to get help, leading to more murders, which worsens the discrimination.

as far as the cakes go, they, too, are often treated differently by people because they're seen as perpetually in danger of becoming the victim of a violent crime.

after setting all of that up, the story gives us Nao's final note that he posted in the class group chat. it's pretty clear that it's basically a suicide note, and also that he tries very hard to absolve Yuu of any blame for what was about to happen, probably fearing Yuu being the victim of the aforementioned discrimination...

then in the final section of the story, it describes Nao's background, and we learn that he himself was the product of a cake/fork relationship (his mom was a cake and his father was a fork), which are so rare, his family became the subjects of a study that researched how a relationship like that could even be possible and healthy.

but unfortunately, the researchers didn't do a great job anonymizing their subjects, and it was possible to identify them. so that happened, and it got back to Nao's school, and made his life a living hell.

at this point, we realize that the classmate whose POV we were reading in the first part was totally also guilty of contributing to that atmosphere (whether or not she was consciously aware of it), and was partially to blame for what happened to Nao.

so then i thought, "ah, so it's actually discrimination that's the real horror in this story."

but then the final twist...

i don't think the story ever outright says that Yuu loves Nao, though it's obvious that he cares very deeply about him, and it's easy to read between the lines especially with the "cakeverse BL" branding.

but Yuu was aware that Nao was extremely suicidal, so he'd been trying to save him, and at one point, he thinks that maybe it would help Nao to feel less alone, so thinking about how Nao's parents were able to help each other as a cake and a fork, Yuu decides to tell a simple lie...

he tells Nao that he's a fork.

i think at this point i full on said out loud "oh no"

essentially what happens is Nao decides to basically commit suicide by fork. he invites Yuu to meet him at school after hours, and then attempts to bait Yuu into eating him by slashing his own face, injuring himself so badly that he's going to die no matter what Yuu does.

as Nao is dying, Yuu has to make a choice. he can tell come clean and confess that he isn't actually a fork, and Nao will die knowing that Yuu lied to him, or Yuu could uphold the lie until the very end...

so Yuu decides to go along with it. he eats Nao so that he won't die knowing that he'd been lied to. the description of Yuu eating Nao's face was gory and horrific but also extremely homoerotic. like, Nashi knew what he was doing there lol. if you remember the initial description of the murder-suicide scene that i gave, you can probably figure out what happens afterward (Yuu vomits up what he'd eaten of Nao and then kills himself afterward).

Nashi correctly identified that what was far more horrific than a fork eating a cake was a NORMAL HUMAN BEING eating a cake 😭

i'm not sure i've ever read a cannibalism story where the person doing the cannibalism extremely doesn't want to be doing it and isn't benefiting from it in any way. that aspect really got to me in a horror sense.

normally with this kind of thing, both parties are into it, like i feel like that's the whole draw with the cake/fork dynamic anyway—the fork basically being intoxicated by the cake and not being able to control their urges, and the cake tasting like the best thing ever.

from my brief google dive, it seems like in typical cakeverse, the body fluids taste good, too, not just the flesh, which is probably how other writers get away with these stories not just being pure cannibalism lol, and which also explains why Nashi's warning specified that his story contained flesh getting eaten and not just fluids.

Nashi's version was both infinitely grosser/more horrific, and also in some ways actually more romantic? like, Yuu ate Nao so that Nao wouldn't figure out that Yuu had lied to him and have his whole worldview shattered right in his dying moments. Yuu loved him enough to do that, even though Yuu was a normal person and Nao's flesh tasted disgusting to him.

i still hate omegaverse and don't really have an interest in reading any more derivatives or more cakeverse, but for me at least, cakeverse sidesteps my main issues with omegaverse by being just Too Weird.

like, regular flavor omegaverse is also weird, but it maps too closely to regular gender roles. cakeverse is a more interesting worldbuilding exercise because it introduces a totally different mechanic that doesn't map at all to any existing system of anything lol. so it doesn't bother me in that same way.

also, i was kinda worried from how it seemed at the start to be comparing a gay relationship to the fork/cake dynamic, but as it turns out, the only actual fork/cake relationship we see in this story is a heterosexual one, and Nao and Yuu's relationship isn't actually a cake/fork deal, even though that's what everyone thinks (because you can only identify a fork by them self-identifying, as there's no way to test it, so naturally they all assume that Yuu is one and have no way to prove that assumption wrong when he's dead) and it's obviously what the reader is led to think at the beginning, too.

but whatever connection they have, it exists outside of the cake/fork dynamic. that was one area where the story subverted my expectations.

i'm really fascinated by this piece for multiple reasons. i'm impressed by Nashi's ability to pull off an extremely niche fanfic trope in a traditionally published original fiction work, and i'm also so curious about what drew him to write this story.

he shares a similar interest in internet folklore and general weirdness that i have, but how did a guy who was practically raised on 2ch find out about cakeverse?

the internet that you see in places like 2ch and the internet that you see in places like AO3 seem to me to be pretty different worlds.

i feel like to write a story like this as well as he did, you need to be pretty familiar with regular cakeverse. he didn't just borrow a few tropes; he built a whole coherent setting around the concept and clearly put a whole lot of thought into it, and had enough awareness of what his audience might be expecting from the genre that he included warnings.

he didn't write it ironically, i guess is what i'm trying to say. it was earnest both as a cakeverse story and as a horror story.

would i have liked it if i wasn't already a fan of Nashi's work? well, i probably wouldn't have picked it up in the first place. it's compelling to me because it exists in the context of everything else he's done and the kayfabe that he has constructed for himself with his author character.

i hope he writes another overtly gay story that 1) isn't BL and 2) isn't omegaverse or omegaverse-adjacent, though. dfkjghkj

[frikatilhi]

in case this would feel weird to talk about, no pressure whatsoever, but

given how jere has been operated because of his medical condition, and how it could be difficult/not adviced/impossible for him to bottom in real life because of that, did you ever consider not writing him as a bottom?

personally, this used to bother me a bit when first getting into bojere, but then i realised i liked the thought of bottom jere too much to actually care too too much – so i guess i sort of imagine it just doesn't cause him limitations or that the surgeries he needed and had were something different anyway (if he has the disease in the universe the fic takes place in in the first place, that is), because after all, it’s fan fiction. (though there's also nothing wrong with addressing such limitations in fics, i appreciate some writers do that too!)

but yeah, as i haven't seen that much discussion on this matter, sometimes i just wonder what writers think about it.

This discussion does pop up every now and then. Some people have strong opinions on the matter so I should say that whatever anyone thinks on this subject is probably fine!

Have I ever considered not writing him as a bottom? No, not really. (I'm not big on the whole bottom/top debate; in my fics they do it whichever way fits them and the story. Boy, do people have opinions on this one, too!)

Is it realistic to write him as a bottom? I have been told by people that know about these matters that, well, it depends. It's not impossible to bottom, that it might not be advised, that you'd have to take more care, and also that it probably varies, so it's not wholly unrealistic.

To me, it boils down to "it's fiction". Fic writers are free to ignore it, work around it, forget about it altogether, just like we ignore all kinds of real life things when we write. For some readers, bottom Jere is a dealbreaker, and that's fine too, a lot of things can be dealbreakers that make a reader nope out of a fic. Doesn't mean we can't keep writing the way we want to.

I've read wonderful fics that take his condition into account in detail. Sometimes I do find myself thinking how something probably wouldn't be possible, at least not like that. But that's just another day as a reader, you know? Fics are full of details like that, all the time.

Uh, so, I think, in the end, it's one aspect of the real Jere that we can take into account, or not, when we write fiction. *Handwave* away if you want to!

[gatheringbones]

[“February 1986: Fifty freshmen, three resident counselors, and one head counselor are jammed into the lounge that is the designated meeting space for our floor. The room is a cinderblock rectangle edged with low orange institutional furniture—not quite “couches.” We fifty are one “unit,” sort of like a “bunk” at summer camp except that we will share the same dorm floor for the whole academic year. Many faces are red and angry, or red and embarrassed, or red and passionate. The Northeast Gay and Lesbian Student Union Conference is coming to Brown soon, and our head counselor had approved our lounge as a sleepover place for conference attendees. Two stereotypical jocks, in khaki shorts and backward baseball caps, are on their feet and demanding that the H.C. acted inappropriately by doing so. They demand a vote.

One of us, by which I mean one of us five who are queer, stands up too, and points out that we didn’t take a vote on whether the Princeton Marching Band could be housed here, which they were. I don’t remember now if I was the one who said it, or Nils, or Ellen, or who. What I do remember is that although we were all out to each other prior to the crisis, we weren’t out to everyone else.

The jocks finally make their stand: they’re afraid of AIDS. They’ve grabbed on to this thing which is barely a buzzword to them, as some kind of long-awaited justification for all the homophobic shit they would have kicked up anyway. They are practically high-fiving each other for thinking of it, because, after all, what self-respecting, intelligent person would share a bathroom with “that”?

And one of us, Scott or me or someone, finally says that if they think that by keeping the NELGSU Conference out of the lounge they’re keeping themselves separated from gay people, they’re wrong. That if they think they don’t already share a bathroom with gay people, they’re wrong. And, by the way, that if they think gay people cause AIDS, they’re wrong. But the issue of AIDS seems minor compared to the fact that we have just outed ourselves to the group. We have declared “We are everywhere”—and here we are.

The result of the debate was a “visitor bathroom” policy (people agreed to mark their bathroom doors “okay” for visitors to use or not), and many lacrosse balls winged blindly down the hallways at us from unseen attackers—as if we couldn’t guess who’d thrown them. By the time the conference actually arrived, the furor had died down, and we had a very festive gay pride week. Openly gay Congressman Gerry Studds gave the keynote address, and I still remember the climax of his speech. He said that if the message of Harvey Milk to the previous generation had been “Come to San Francisco and be gay,” his message to the current generation was “Stay where you are and be gay.” It was the second “We are everywhere” for me, and one that convinced me I should stick with the Lesbian/Gay Student Alliance, even though I seemed to be the only bisexual on the campus (or the only one admitting it). Stay where you are and be yourself.

I picked “bisexual” as one label I didn’t vehemently resist, partly because I liked that the definition of it was so nebulous. I had to “invent” bisexuality, I felt, which fit nicely with my antilabel attitude. It was a word everyone knew, and yet I had no bisexual culture to read about or participate in, no bisexual role models—unless you counted the old celebrity chameleon David Bowie himself. That suited me fine.”]

cecelia tan, from picture this, from a woman like that: lesbian and bisexual writers tell their coming out stories, 2000

[phoenixyfriend]

This is a bit of a silly question, but you honestly seem to know a lot about political, business, and economics, so I thought I would ask.

So I’m seventeen, soon to be applying to universities, but I’m already so disillusioned with the world. Like, don’t get me wrong, I still have hope in collective action and volunteering and voting and all that, it just makes me sad that the entire world has kind of gone to hell. I like english literature and I like history and I like studying them, so I used to hop to study both at uni. I wanted to get a job as a teacher, because I want to make a difference in the world and have more variety than a typical desk job.

However. Being on Tumblr since the age of thirteen has taught me that no matter how kind or good or hardworking one person is, or even a lot of people are, one politician can still screw things up for entire groups of people. I mean… a few politicians overturned Roe Vs Wade and that sort of thing. The disability benefits bank account thing. Politicians have an enormous amount of sway over the world, and that area seems to be where someone could make the most difference.

From what I’ve seen of a political science degree, I genuinely don’t think I would enjoy it much, but I could get through it. I want to make a difference in the world very badly — it’s the only sort of legacy I care about leaving behind. And I thought being a teacher could do that for me, but the scale of being a teacher and a politician are on entirely different levels, and Tumblr has really shown me that.

So I guess I’m just asking, since you seem to be passionate making the world better too. Do you think I should study politics, so that I can try and change things on a large scale? Or study what I love and make a much smaller impact.

I honestly don't think I'm the best person to ask this question. A lot of how I ended up where I am was a matter of luck, including the luck of having parents who let me live with them rent free while I put together some savings (and even while I was unemployed).

I don't know a whole lot about polisci. I was a business major and, honestly, that major did not come in useful when hunting for a job after college... partly because all the jobs it was a foot in the door for were uhhhhhh let's go with Not The Right Fit. Most polisci majors are... I guess probably pre-law and intending to become lawyers, and lawyers do in fact often become politicians, so there's that.

My first instinct is actually 'learn a trade and join a union.' The last few years have been pretty evidential of the impact that unions can still have on both the business world and politics in general: see the impact that UAW is having, at least in the media, on the presidential election. Unions are also a pretty solid option for local networking, which is pretty key when it comes to having an impact on local or regional politics. A trade job is also something that is in high demand, stable, and pays reasonably well in most places, including paid apprenticeships, so it would give you the financial stability to focus your free time on what you want instead of on stretching to pay the bills, or having to worry about student loans. It also gives you an expertise or specialty that you can then leverage as 'evidence' of understanding the working class as a unit when engaging in something like a town hall.

Being in a union or other local organization will also give you a more hands-on understanding of how politics and things like that work, as you'll have things like contract negotiations, union votes, and policy debates going on regularly.

If you aren't the kind of person who thinks they're a fit for trade work (I'm definitely not), then college might be the right fit! But I'd definitely consider going into it with a plan for how you want to impact the world. Look up some charities or impact organizations and see what it is that they need. A lot of places are looking for grants writers or financial coordinators, or just someone who can do the accounting. It's not glamorous, and it's not like you'll be held up as a hero the way a doctor in a warzone is, but keeping track of funds or writing letters requesting funding from the government, for something like Doctors Without Borders or Planned Parenthood or Coalition for the Homeless is still an important part of the process.

Local volunteer work is also often a lot more personally satisfying and requires less overhead, so more of the money goes directly into the community you want to help, e.g. the grant writers and accountants do need a salary in a huge organization, but a local soup kitchen can probably just hire someone from the local tax office once every few months and call it good. Doing volunteer work once a month, for a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter or summer childcare program, can make way more of an impact than maybe getting a position as a staffer for a politician you may not even like that much.

That said, if you think you're good at polisci, that you'd be good at law, or that you can get a different degree with polisci as a minor that would then help you enter politics directly... maybe college for polisci is the right choice for you. Maybe you have the finances to not worry about loans, you have parents that would be supportive, and you can find an effective position after you graduate.

I can't make that decision for you. If you have a guidance counselor and they're any good--not a guarantee, but let's hope--talk to them. If you don't have a guidance counselor, maybe find a trusted teacher, or a local librarian, something like that. I don't really know you or your situation well enough to tell you what to do, but hopefully I've given you something to think about.

[kimberlyannharts]

So I may have been slightly hyped for this book the past few months

For the three of you who haven't heard about this, MMPR: The Return is a story set in the future of an alternate universe of the MMPRs; one where Jason, Zack, and Trini didn't give up their powers upon the eve of the Peace Conference, and thus the team stayed together even after high school. But fast forward twenty-two years later, and the team has broken up due to some sort of tragedy - we know from the Re-Imagine prologue in the 30 Year Anniversary book, Zordon and Alpha were destroyed by Zedd and Rita. But other stuff seems to have happened too. What is that stuff? I guess we're about to find out!

Oh, and I should mention this was written by the original Pink Ranger herself, Amy Jo Johnson. (and her partner, Matt Hotson.) That might be important to know.

It's Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Return #1!

= Three pages in and Jason's already getting his ass kicked. You're forty-five years old, man, you should be at the club

= I know this was debated a bit when the book was announced - how it would line up with Thuy and JDF's passings, especially after coming off the heels of Once and Always, where the focal point was Trini's daughter taking up her powers after Trini's death. (For what it's worth, this book was first conceived pre-pandemic, long before OaA. Making comics takes a long time.) And while Tommy is still a bit up in the air (despite what we'll see in a few pages) Trini does seem to have definitively passed due to illness.

While I definitely get the frustration of Thuy's passing essentially sealing Trini's fate - especially in a comic book, where you don't have to worry about actor restrictions - I'm a little more generous towards it here because Amy and Thuy were close friends and she actually dealt with her death personally compared to how the OaA writers, well......didn't. And this issue is clearly paralleling Kimberly's motivations and feelings to Amy's real-life ones, so this just feels like another part of that.

(Also to contrast OaA's handling of Trini - a) her passing here isn't caused by a graphic onscreen explosion, proving the whole "well they HAD to show it onscreen for more impact!!!" was bullshit b) her friends AND THE WIDER COMMUNITY are actually grieving and talking about her impact on everyone as well as using the non-actor-restriction to SHOW it and c) The book actually gives her a JOB. TWO jobs!!!!!!! Yeah OaA why the fuck did you send ZACK to Congress WHEN IT CLEARLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN TRINI

also I like her middle-aged design. prettyyyyyy)

= onto lighter topics HEYYYY IT'S THESE GUYS!! Bulk and Skull are married and you just can't see the ring through Bulk's gloves, it's real and true

= speaking of which this whole flashback is adorable and nostalgic but I want to point out some background details

= Ernie is just trying to run a fucking business here

= go white boy go

= ZACK/KIM HAS FINALLY COME BACK TO ME MY FUCKING BELOVEDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God, when WAS the last time they actually talked one-on-one in the main series

= FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

= so along with some other stuff I'm definitely taking this as foreshadowing that Trini wasn't cut off from Kim like the boys were. That's the power of WOMEN (and also if we get Aunt Trini flashbacks with Olivia I'll fucking CRYYYYYY)

= Absolutely obsessed with Billy's face here

= D:

= So besides the Trini stuff I want to the keep the Once and Always comparisons to a minimum but it's very funny how both storylines involve Billy using a company as a front for his embezzlement schemes. At least his telecom company PROBABLY isn't war profiteering

= also Alpha's rose <3

= so anyway Jason's gone rogue and was pretending he's the main character until he suddenly went missing, as shown in the first few pages. And Billy and Zack want to become Rangers again to try and find him.

= but the thing is guys, Kim has won the idgaf war. She's depressed, she's traumatized, she spent twenty-two years raising a child with Tommy's genes all by herself, she's tired. She does NOT want to be wrapped up in Jason's midlife crisis drama

= Zack getting so mad and wanting to risk it all for Jason hell yeah those are my Jason/Zack crumbs

= Mysterious shadowy figure watching the old people drama from a distance, you are just like me fr

= OLIVIA THAT'S FUCKING OLIVIAAAAAAAAAAAA and she already sounds so CUTE. If you go back to the diner scene you can see the phone constantly buzzing until Kim finally puts it away. She's like mom. mom. mom. MOM

= also just because the tragic Tomberly family storyline already makes me want to kms do you think that ring is kind of small and plain because Tommy and Kim were so young when they got married and it's all Tommy could afford. And Kim still wears it to this day. I want to die

= It's already been confirmed that Selena is indeed referring to Sylvia here, so I won't talk about that. What I DO want to talk about is Kim's casual momwear. Those sweatpants!!!!!!!!!!

= It would be really funny if Kim just. immediately slammed the door shut

[ciaossu-imagines]

No offence but why should people have to pay for stuff from you when 99% of creators on here would post the same things for free

Well, I really debated just deleting this. I really did. Or plain out blocking this anon. Because I really do try to ignore negativity in the inbox, truly, and normally do delete it. But I'll answer this one, in a mo', after I first say...putting no offense in front of an ask that is meant to be rude, to either hurt my feelings or make me feel bad, doesn't suddenly make it inoffensive. In fact, pretty much guaranteed that if you feel the need stick 'no offense' in front of something, you know it'll be offensive, or at the very least, rude, and you're trying to excuse a dick move. Question too...are you sending this ask to every fanartist accepting commissions too, or just the writers? My guess is a solid no, but hey, maybe you can prove me wrong.

Next point - nobody should be paying me anything right now. My commissions are temporarily closed. I'm not really accepting any at the moment because I'm on day 10 of a stretch of 12 days at work before I have one day off, after which I pull another 12 days before I get 2 whole days off. I'm struggling to find time to finish the two commissions I do have and to write to build up the queue on here again so I can continue to put out things on here again. I'm pulling at least one all-nighter a week just to make progress on those two things.

Again - free stuff. Because I definitely do offer lots of that. Commissions are done on top of me writing plenty for free, not instead of. It's simply not as long, or as detailed, and has rules around what I'll comfortably write.

Now onto actual commissions. All but two of the commissions I've handled have been incredibly personalized, either match ups for the actual person on the other side of the screen or working with people's self-inserts or OCs. The two that weren't were for incredibly rare pairs that don't have a lot of people writing for them (ShouheixYata from K Project and Sherlock Holmes (novel version) x Hiruma Yoichi from Eyeshield 21. Please show me even 5% of tumblr routinely putting out content for those pairings because I would enjoy reading anything from them.

For my match ups, smutty ones are at least 5 pages, while romantic and platonic ones have never gone below 7 pages and have, at times, gone as long as 15 pages and include intensely thought out explanations of why they're compatible with that character, what the relationship would be like, how the commissioner fits into the Canon universe, and at least 3, usually more other characters they could be compatible with, how those characters would know the commissioner and fit into their story and why the relationship might not work. I struggle to find blogs willing to do matchups even half that length and intricacy so please, direct me to the 95% of writers that will do that for free.

For my stories, the shortest I've done was 10 pages where I made a whole $1 per page. The longest has been 65 pages where I made $50. They all also come with a music mix and a storyboard with alternate ways the story could have gone and at least 5 new headcanons about the OC and the ship. Please, again, direct me to the 95% of tumblr writers willing to do that for someone else's self-insert ship or OC ship for free, of that length, with the extras. Most writers I know might occasionally write a friend's OC but not just anyone's and usually not 30-60 pages for them.

Long story short, I don't force anyone to commission me. If you don't want to and just want to enjoy the free stuff, that's perfectly cool with me! If you don't like that I take commissions, block me. If you feel everything I write is so generic and boring that 95% of other writers have wrote the exact same thing, my blog isn't for you, block me.

[windsorbay]

THE CHARACTER.

FULL NAME: Ruth "Rue" Holloway

GENDER: Cis woman

PRONOUNS: She/her

AGE + BIRTHDAY: 35 + February 7, 1990

LENGTH OF TIME IN WINDSOR BAY: Her whole life, off and on

HOUSING: Downtown

OCCUPATION: Musician/Singer-Song writer

THE INTERVIEW.

Do you have any regrets? What are they?

Rue leans back in her chair, fingers toying with the edge of her sleeve, eyes distant. "Yeah. I’ve got regrets. Too many to count, honestly, but if I had to choose one that cuts the deepest — it’s not walking off that stage sooner. Not saying no when I knew I needed to." Rue hesitates, debating if she should say anything further. "I kept performing long after my soul left the room, just to keep my mom smiling, just to prove to people that I was still worth something. I thought if I sang loud enough, maybe someone would love me for real. But I regret giving away parts of myself just to be seen. I regret chasing people who were already walking away." A beat of quiet thought. "… And I regret not asking more questions about my brother. I let silence win."

Are you a leader or a follower?

She lets out a dry laugh, somewhere between tired and knowing. "Neither. Or… maybe both, depending on the day." A lazy shrug is given, she's tired. Emotionally, physically, ect ,ect. "I don’t like telling people what to do — it feels too much like control, and I’ve had enough of that to last a lifetime. But I’m not great at following, either, not anymore. I followed my mother’s dream until it swallowed mine whole, y'know? And now? I think I’m trying to just walk my own damn path. Even if it’s crooked. Even if I trip. So, I guess I’m learning to lead — but just myself. For now, that’s enough."

It’s the little things in life; tell me three things that bring you a great deal of joy or put a smile on your face.

Her face softens. The guardedness fades, just a little. "Okay, ugh, hold on, lemme think … One — when the tide comes in right around sunset, and the whole ocean turns this smoky gold? That. It makes me feel like the world is still beautiful, even if I’m not. Two — old records. Like, vinyl. I’ve got a stack of them in the attic. Sometimes I’ll put one on, lie on the floor, and let the needle crackle before the music starts. It’s the only kind of silence I like. Three — kids who sing off-key but do it anyway. You know, like they don’t care who’s listening. There’s something honest in that. Something I used to be."

THE PERSONALITY.

— + Authentic, emotionally intuitive, resilient — - Avoidant, self-sabotaging, emotionally dependent

RUE IS PORTRAYED BY HASSIE HARRISON, AND WRITTEN BY J.

[viscountessevie]

Do you think JQ cares at all at how her characters (and to an extent the actors too with the promo and stuff) are treated or does she only care about the money? I mean they already did huge changes and they will probably do more going forward. As an artist myself I would find it disheartening how something I created would be taken apart so much that it barely resembles my own work. And also how does she feel about all her fans response to the season 2 disaster? There was a lot of complaining on her insta posts about what they did to Kate and Edwina (especially on her video post about the sister soulmate stuff). Okay yes she signed off all rights, if one should do that is another debate (i wouldn’t ) but do you think she regrets it? Because it doesn’t feel that way. Makes me resent her a bit tbh.

Ask Dated: 31st July 2022

I can't quite remember what may have prompted this ask but probably them feeling the same way I felt about S2.

While yes Simone and Jonny's chemistry and some acting choices/scene and tone changes saved the season, I still felt robbed of my favourite lines and scenes from the book not being adapted. And of course how they massacred my favourite book family, The Sheffields/Sharmas. We really could have seen a healthy and loving Indian family of women instead we got the same toxic shit I grew up in.

Anyway, to answer your main question anon, I have a feeling the Netflix/Shondaland check was big enough for JQ to sell her soul and writer's integrity. If she did care, she hasn't shown it one bit. Or alternatively her lack of enthusiasm for Kate, The Sharmas and Kathony now that Kate is an Indian woman, can be a sign of expressing her disappointment in the colour blind cast. I mean before the show was announced (and old time Bton fans feel free to correct me), Kathony (and TVWLM) and Polin (and RMB) were her favourite couples and books to hype up. Ever since Simone was announced as Kate, she did the bare minimum talking about her and has ignored Kate in favour of her fave and only white tv couple (so far). So take what you will from that.

There are a few articles out here where JQ kind of does mental gymnastics to justify all the big changes to S2 which I thought were cop out answers. [Note: it is almost 4am as I am writing this and I am a little tired to find for her exact quotes but if I come across them I'll link at a later time but for now Google is your bestie!]

I did find that she stipulating that *only* the Pall Mall scene could not be changed at all, really dumb in hindsight. Because the way they shot and edited that scene was super lame (there was barely any tension visually - Jimone was carrying the tension and rivalry of the scene and match) and there was SO MANY MORE important scenes and characterisations that made TVWLM so popular and beloved and nothing else mattered to her???

I will admit; while I LOVE the OG Bee Scene, I liked the new one too. I just wish they had gotten married earlier. Also of course the new accident scene is superior. But it still does not make up for how badly they fumbled the Sharmas, cutting out their backstories and then giving away an whole useless hour to the Featherflops. DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE TWO WEDDINGS THAT WEREN'T EVEN KATE'S!!!

I really wanna know how much she was paid to just go along with everything because even Rick Riordan was able to express his disdain with the Percy Jackson movies!! I think at this point, its safe to say its enough money to make her turn a blind eye to all the horrid changes and not regret anything. It even is enough to make her eat her words about not being able to write characters of colour (will expand more in the next ask) but now suddenly after all these years, she can write a romance novel centred on a Black heroine. I guess characters of colour are only worth writing if she can profit off them. It makes me resent her too anon. 

[daynightspirals]

Friday — 25/07/2025

Ok, so this is crazy... today I woke up. I happily went to the kitchen then I remembered... it's a national holiday. I know this should be good, specially if you work, but in my life that means my mom will be home. Apparently it's also writer's day in Brazil, so that is cool... YAY!!

I love my mom, I really do. But when you live with someone all of your bad feelings and frustrations are channeled onto that person, I don't make the rules. I'm happy she gets a day off, she works really hard. But to have her in the house is just annoying, even on normal days. Like, I am happy doing my thing, then... BAM!!! I hear the car. My mood completely changes.

Honestly, I need to marry my soulmate. Because I can't imagine myself living with anyone else. When a normal human being needs some hours alone, I need years. People disrupt me from my own world, and people do live in my world, but it's Timothée Chalamet, not mom.

Parasocial people don't exchange energies with you, but that also means they don't take yours. Actually that is debatable, some believe energy vampires can suck yours just by simply thinking of them.

Anyway, my mom went to my grandma's anyway. I went there to ask grandma if she had bananas and there was a MAN there, yes, A MAN!!! Day ruined. I don't know if grandma had or not bananas cause my mom got out of there before I could walk in. Which I wouldn't do, because I didn't have a bra, and the house had a man. Mom said she would buy bananas, so she went to the market.

Today I made the toast differently. I toasted the bread, put butter on it and cut it in squares that turned out to be of no existent geometrical shape. The tea was already steeping, and by that time mom was already home with the bananas. I cut the bananas into slices, put on top of the bread that was in a bowl. I also added honey, cinnamon, and cheese — finished it off by leaving it in the microwave for a minute maybe. Also took the tea bags (2) out and added room temperature water to the tea.

I had just gotten the news that the cleaning lady wouldn't come today, which is great because, you know... alone. So there I was, in my bedroom — the cheese was melted, Sombr's new music video was uploaded and my only problem seems to be the tea's temperature... which was cold. Dude, it was great. I watched the music video two times and finished the meal. Also came up with an idea for the chorus that was much better than the original — Sombr, hit me up. Also, I had breakfast, but Addison ate the shit out of it.

Took the dishes to the sink and didn't wash them. Such act was found despicable by my mom, I get it. Came back and started listening to The Beatles again. I had an idea on how to organize my listening, it didn't work. I then tried something different, it didn't work. I guess it was an unconscious inside job, because the songs weren't organized chronologically. I tried my best, but there are many EPs, and singles. I am only one woman!!!! Like two hours ago I said "fuck it", I'm gonna add all of the EP songs to the end of the list, and not with their eras. I looked on spotify for the chronological order, but they were too good. Some EP versions were in the middle of an album, like, are you a sociopath? That was tricky because some were in between two albums, HOW WILL I KNOW? So, yea, I give up.

I got the call that lunch was ready, went to my grandma's and it was fish and rice. I said it was too salty and that I was incapable of eating it. She called my bluff, I ate breakfast so I wasn't hungry. But it was in fact too salty, even grandma said so. To be fair mom did call me asking me if I wanted my fish then or later, which means I could've told her I wasn't hungry. But honestly I just wanted that conversation to end, even though there were basically two words said. She was gonna tell me how I'm doing everything wrong and not eating right, blame me, but I just can't listen to that whole monologue again.

Went back home and started playing with my Pinterest again. Until of course I got bored so I decided to not face my uncomfortable feeling and feed my body instead. Yes, I ate the same thing again. My mom went to her manicure, I was alone. I spend the rest of the day trying to figure out The Beatle's order like I said before. Exept when I took a big rag and sat on my house's garage. I pet my cat for awhile, because I don't let her in. She is very dependent on me so I feel bad.

I went to my grandma's and we ate garlic bread. Came home and texted mom so she would get me a nutella and m&m's. She did, and I payed for it. I am truly disgusted at my eating habits, I will change it.

I also spent some time pretending I was interviewing Paul McCartney. He loved me and considered me a grandchild of his. Needless to say I got my name in the will. Also saw this interview of his where he "writes" a song about shoes with the interviewer. I turned it into a very cool chorus. Saw some interview clips on tiktok too.

I am very disappointed at myself. I commented and copied the link to many many many videos of Gaza citizens. But honestly the more you do the more you get. And I think the more I see the less empathy I have. I wish I could help in any other way. Am I a bad person for wishing I could help them with money instead of doing this? Am I a bad person for asking if I am a bad person? I think at the end of the day we are just as bad as the characters in the movies. To what point do we care? I am here finding it uncomfortable to like, comment, and copy the link of some videos, while they are thinking it is uncomfortable to see their family members being bombed.

I don't know, dude. I wanna be a better person, and I wanna help the world. I don't wanna be a hypocrite. Anyway, it's still 20:45 so I'll probably spend this time on the phone doing lots of nothing.

[clark3wayne]

Oh wow, this brings back memories.

I don't think I ever responded to this. You make some very valid points. Obviously I'm working on the basis that a few things in s3 would have to change, but I maintain that it could have made sense, at least to me, to see Elena turn to Damon at a time where her head would have been a complete mess over Stefan, which would have been understandable considering the situation back then. Because yes, she knows Stefan loves her, she knows he sacrificed himself for her and Damon, she witnessed Stefan fighting compulsion (which is impossible in the vampire world) to protect her and it all should have been enough for her to hold onto the knowledge that she's everything to him and not question his commitment to her... but it's hard to push past insecurities, especially with the devil (damon, katherine, take your pick) whispering in her ear. Because Stefan did leave town without saying goodbye ("I guess he sacrificed everything to save his brother, including you"), he did reject her after she spent months searching for him ("I don't want to see you, I don't want to be with you, I just want you to go"), he did threaten her while making her relive the trauma of her parents' death... And yeah, like you said, she knows on some level what he's trying to do, she can see through him and his actions, but I don't think it would have been that surprising to see her wondering, in a moment of weakness, does she really? Or is she only seeing what she wants to see?

Why Damon instead of Matt? Because the show was trying ricidulously hard to make us believe that Stefan's absence would have led to Elena's "connection" to Damon growing stronger, even in canon. The first time Stefan rejects her, Elena tries to make Damon act more like him if I remember correctly, then there's also Caroline calling Elena out for having feeling for him, and let's not forget that ridiculous scene where, after witnessing Stefan doing the impossible to protect her only for Klaus to rip his humanity out of him, the writers wrote Elena and Damon cozying up ("Where were you, Damon?" "I promise you, I will never leave you again").

Of course Damon should not have been her support system, after everything he did to her loved ones, the notion is laughable, but what with JPlec intent on convincing us that he was, I think the foundation was there in S3 to have Elena turn to Damon. Not out of love, but still.

Frankly, I love S3!Stelena. I think it's their strongest season in terms of their relationship. But with a few twists, I think Dullena could have begun there too and it wouldn't have taken anything from SE (if anything, DE would have begun through Stefan, connected because of Stefan), at least not to me (tbh my ideal scenario for DE begins at S4 but that's a whole other story).

So agree to disagree I guess. Like I said, you make valid points :) It's fun to debate about this after all these years.

... at that point, she had lost her parents, her birthparents AND her guardian. Stefan was the one person who wasn't supposed to leave and yet, just like that, he too was gone. No goodbyes, no explanations, he just disappeared from her life like he had never been a part of it. Then Elena spends months looking for him, and when they're finally reunited, is rejected not just once but multiple times by Stefan. Of course we as viewers know that he has his reason and is miserable over this...

... and rationally, Elena knows it too. I just think it's a waste that the writers never explored the irrational aspect of that dynamic. It would have made sense to me to see Elena question not Stefan's love but his commitment to her. To see her shaken by the knowledge that Stefan turned his emotions back on for Damon and not for her. To see her unable to stop thinking that, ultimately, Stefan picked his brother over her. It would all be irrational feelings of course...... but Elena is only human. And Stefan constantly pushing her away throughout S3 wouldn't have helped that mindset. So yeah it would have made no sense and maybe it would have been unfair but the feeling of betrayal would be real nonetheless and THAT is what would have led Elena to Damon (the wrong choice in every way but still the guy who puts her first no matter what and wouldn't leave her like everyone else)...... Anyway, ending my rant. Just thought it would have been interesting to have SE talk about this at some point during their separation, with Stefan being rightfully angry about DE and Elena snapping that he didn't get to judge her because he picked D over her too and then it would have all been in the open and they would finally get to talk about how Stefan's departure actually impacted Elena. Weird how this show still makes me so frustrated when I think about it too hard 😤"

I see.

A couple of reasons why this doesn't work for me.

1 "[...] at that point, she had lost her parents, her birthparents AND her guardian. Stefan was the one person who wasn't supposed to leave and yet, just like that, he too was gone. No goodbyes, no explanations, he just disappeared from her life like he had never been a part of it [...] So yeah it would have made no sense and maybe it would have been unfair but the feeling of betrayal would be real nonetheless and THAT is what would have led Elena to Damon (the wrong choice in every way but still the guy who puts her first no matter what and wouldn't leave her like everyone else"

So, then, hooking up with Damon who has consistently tried to kill the people left in her life

would be plausible? Because he "puts her first"? How? On the one hand, she'll feel betrayed by Stefan because he left her and it triggers feelings of abandonment but on the other hand she'll be drawn to the man she has to constantly placate so he won't kill her friends and family when she already has no parents, no birth parents and no guardian?

That argument or suggestion or idea will never make sense to me, even with the "it isn't rational" spin.

2. It would have made sense to me to see Elena question not Stefan's love but his commitment to her. To see her shaken by the knowledge that Stefan turned his emotions back on for Damon and not for her. To see her unable to stop thinking that, ultimately, Stefan picked his brother over her. It would all be irrational feelings of course...... but Elena is only human.

This part also doesn't work for me. Elena question Stefan

This Stefan's

commitment to her? Watching him do the impossible and fight compulsion for her but feeling a way because he effectively did the same thing for Damon later in 3x09?

I don't see it.

What I love about season 3 is that the tension comes from the fact that Elena is mad that Stefan would ever suggest that she would stop loving him or give up on him because she absolutely understands why he did what he did, that's Stelena

Elena knows why he pushes her away, knows what he's trying to do

she sees through him, that is Stelena.

And she does have complicated feelings throughout season 3, which I get into in the masterlist.

I would be on board with the two of them having an argument about how he just left, her expressing how much that deeply hurt her but for it to create the schism you're suggesting especially for it to lead toward Damon? That doesn't work for me.

If anything, if we were going to do what you suggested, the only way I could see that working is if it led back to Matt who had never left, never tried to kill her friends or family members, who supposedly put her before Caroline, who would eventually say that he's loved her for as long as he could remember

that's the only way it works logically for me.

[scorpionyx9621]

Do you think Jason Todd fandom is kinda toxic? Because it seems like NO MATTER what DC do, there'll always be complains. Forget the bad adaptation like Titans. Even Judd Winick cannot escape the criticism with how he potrayed Robin!Jason. They just never satisfied.

SORRY, IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO RESPOND TO THIS. I just moved from Washington D.C. to Seattle, which, for my non-American friends, that's 4442km away. And I DROVE THERE ALL BY MYSELF. And now I'm trying to find new work in a new city and trying to stay mentally healthy and positive. Life is exciting but hard and scary.

*sighs*

As someone who was a fandom elder with V*ltr*n. I've seen some of the worst when it comes to fandom behavior. I'm talking people baking food with shaving razors and trying to give them to the showrunners. I'm talking leaking major plot details and refusing to take it down unless they make their ship canon (I am looking at you, Kl*nce stans) For the most part, DC Comics has had a decades-long reputation of treating their fans like trash and not caring what they think so from what I've seen, we all just grumble and complain in our corners of the internet about how we don't like how X comic portrays Jason Todd.

The challenge with Jason Todd is that he's your clinical anti-hero, the batfamily's Draco in Leather Pants, he's a jerkass woobie, and on top of all of that, he's a Tumblr sexyman. It's a perfect storm for a very fun but frustrating character to be a fan of. It doesn't help that every writer decides to re-invent the wheel every time Jason comes up so his canon lore is confusing at best and inconsistent as a standard.

I guess starting with a general brief on who Jason is and what is uniform about him with every instance he's appeared in comics/media.

Grew up in a poor family in Gotham with a dad who was a petty-mid-level criminal, and a mother who dies of a drug overdose.

Survives on the street on his own by committing petty crimes and potentially even engaging in sexual acts to keep himself alive.

Is cornered by Batman and taken in after Dick Grayson quits/is fired

Becomes the second Robin, but is known for being the harsher, more brutal Robin.

Is killed by Joker after being tortured, but somehow comes back to life and regains senses through the Lazarus Pit

Resolves himself to be better than Batman by basically being Batman but kills people.

Where there has been a lot of conflict in the fandom is the fact that Jason Todd is not a character that is written consistently. DC Comics loves to go with the narrative that Jason was "bad from the start" and was the "bad robin" when, yes, he has trouble controlling his anger, but he also still is just as invested in seeing the best of Gotham City and trying to be a positive change for the world as any other DC Comics hero.

Where I get frustrated with the fandom is its ability to knit-pick every detail of a comic they don't like while completely disregarding everything that makes the comics great and worth it to read. My example being Urban Legends. To which most people had pretty mixed reactions to. I was critical of the comic at first but as it went along I ended up really liking it. I have a feeling DC Comics went to Chip Zdarsky and told him he had 6 issues to bring Jason back into the Bat Family, and honestly he didn't do a bad job. Did it feel rushed? Absolutely. I wish there was more development of Jason and Bruce's characters and their dynamic as a whole. However, where I see a lot of people being angry and upset with Urban Legends is that they feel Zdarsky needlessly wrote Jason as an incompetent fool who needs Bruce to save him.

Whether or not that was the intention of Zdarsky is up to debate. However, and this may be controversial, but I don't think he wrote Jason Todd out of character at all. For as fearsome, intimidating, and awesome as Red Hood is. Jason is a character who is absolutely driven by his emotions. Why do you think he donned the role of Red Hood? As a response to his anger towards The Joker for killing him, and towards Bruce for not taking action against The Joker and for seemingly replacing him so quickly after he died. Jason didn't care about being the murderous Robin Hood or for being the bloody hammer of justice against N*zi's and P*d*ph*les. He only cared originally about making The Joker and Bruce pay. It wasn't until he trained under the best assassins in the world and realized most of them were horrific criminals who trafficked children and were p*dos that Talia began to realize that the teachers that she sent Jason to train under started dying horrific and painful deaths.

The entire story of the Cheer story in Batman Urban Legends was started because it finally forced some consequences upon Jason. Tyler, aka Blue Hood's father was a drug dealer who gave his supply to his wife and kids. And when Tyler's father admitted he gave the drugs to Tyler, it immediately made him fall within the self-imposed philosophical kill-list of Jason Todd. And Jason, well, he proceeds to kill Tyler's father. When this happens, Jason is in shock. Tyler's dad fit the bill to easily and justifiably be killed by Jason. We've never seen Jason having to deal with the consequences of being a murderous vigilante on a micro-level. When Jason realizes what he's done in that he's murdered Tyler's dad, he's shocked. He tells Babs the truth. He does a rational thing because he's in shock. He doesn't know what to do, he never has had to face the consequences of his actions as Red Hood and now the gravity of befriending a child as a vigilante hero who kills people just set in when he killed the father of the same child he was just introduced to.

(Oh here's a little aside because it had to be said, Jason would not have been a good father or a good mentor to Tyler and absolutely should not have been his new Robin. Jason is a man who is in his early 20's (not saying men in their early 20's can't be good fathers at all) who is a brutal serial killer using the guise of a vigilante anti-hero to let him escape most of the law. the complications of having the man who murdered your father adopt you and make you his sidekick are way too numerous for me to explain in a long-winded already heavy Tumblr essay post. There's a reason why we don't advocate for a story where Joe Chill adopted Bruce Wayne or one where Tony Zucco took in Dick Grayson.)

The next biggest argument is that they feel that Jason is giving up his guns as a means to just be invited back into the Bat-Family. To which I will tell anyone who has that argument to go actually read Urban Legends. Already have and still have that argument? Please re-read it. Don't want to? That's okay, I will paste the images from the comic where Jason specifically says that he doesn't want to give up his weapons for Bruce and his real reasoning down below since the comic isn't exactly readily accessible.

Jason gave up the guns because he felt the gravity of what he had done and knows how it'll effect Tyler. Thankfully his mom is alive and in recovery. But Tyler doesn't have a father anymore. And Jason killed Tyler's father. It may have been in accordance to Jason's philosophy, but it was a case where it blurred the lines. Jason Todd isn't a black and white character, just very dark gray. He doesn't kill aimlessly like the Joker. If you are on Jason's list you probably have done something pretty horrific, and also just in general, being in his way or being a threat to him. Mind you, in early days of Red Hood and the Outlaws (Image below) Jason almost killed 10 innocent civilians in a town in Colorado all because they saw him kill a monster. That being said, Jason isn't aimless in his kills.

(Also can we just take a moment to appreciate Kenneth Rocafort's art? DC Comics said we need to rehabilitate Jason Todd's image and Kenneth Rocafort said hold my beer: It's so SO GOOD)

That being said, the key emphasis in the story of Cheer asides from trying to introduce Jason Todd back into the Bat Family and give an actual purpose for him being there, other than him just kind of being there ala Bowser every time he shows up for Go Kart racing, Tennis, Golf, Soccer, and the Olympic games when Mario invites him, is that Jason and Bruce ultimately both want the same thing. Jason wants to be welcomed back into the family and to be loved and appreciated. Bruce want's Jason back as his son and wants to love and protect Jason. Both of these visions are shown in the last chapter of Cheer while under the effect of the Cheer Gas. It's ultimately this love and appreciation they both have for each other that helps them overcome their challenge and win.

Jason Todd is a character who, just like Bruce, has been through so much pain and so much hate in his life. The two are meant to parallel each other. While Bruce chose to see the best in everyone, giving every rogue in his gallery the option to be helped and give them a second chance, hence why he never kills, Jason has a similar view on wanting to protect the public, but he understands that some crimes are so heinous they cannot be forgiven, or that some habitual criminals are due to stay habitual criminals, and need to be put down. But at the end of the day, the two of them both try to protect people in their own ways.

I am aware that through the writings of various DC Comics authors such as Scott Lobdell and Judd Winick, the two have had a very tumultuous relationship. And rightfully so, I am by no means saying that Scott Lobdell writing an arc where Bruce literally beats Jason to within an inch of his life in Red Hood and the Outlaws, nor Judd Winick's interpretation of Under the Red Hood where Bruce throws the Batarang at Jason's neck, slicing his throat and leaving him ambiguously for dead at the end of the comic is appropriate considering DC Comics seems to be trying everything they can to integrate Jason back into the family. That being said, a lot of these writings have shaped the narrative of Jason and Bruce's relationship and have an integral effect on the way the fandom views the two. It doesn't help that Zdarsky acknowledged Lobdell's life-beating of Jason by Bruce at the very end of Cheer by having Bruce give Jason his old outfit back as a means of mending the fence between the two of them. That does complicate a lot of things in terms of how they are viewed by the fandom and helps to cause an even greater divide between the two.

Regardless, I want to emphasize the fact that Jason Todd is a part of the family of his own accord. Yes, he's quite snarky and deadpan in almost every encounter. However, Jason is absolutely a part of the family and has been for a while of his own will. There's a great moment in Detective Comics that emphasizes this. Jason cares about his family because it is his found family. Yes, they may be warry about him and use him as a punching back and/or heckle him. At the end of the day, we're debating the family dynamics of a fictional playboy billionaire vigilante whose kleptomania took the form of adopting troubled children and turning them into vigilante heroes. Jason Todd wants a family that will love and support him. This is a key definition of his character at its most basic. This was proven during the events of Cheer and is being reenforced by DC Comics every time they get the opportunity to do so.

Now, none of this is to say that I hate Judd Winick. I do not, I don't like the fact that in all of his writings of Jason, he just writes him as a dangerous psychopath, and Winick himself admits to seeing Jason as nothing much more than a psychopath. Yet Winick is the one who the majority of the fandom clings to as the one true good writer of Jason Todd because 'Jason was competent, dangerous, smart' Listen, friends, Jason is all of that and I will never deny it. However, what I love about Jason isn't that he's dangerously smart of that writers either write him as angsty angry Tumblr sexyman bait or that they write him as an infantile man child with a gun. There's a large contention of this fandom that has an obsession with Jason Todd being this vigilante gunman who is hot and sexy and while I definitely get the appeal. It is very creepy and downright disturbing that all of you hyperfixate on his use of guns and ability to be a murderer. It is creepy and I'm not necessarily here for it.

What I love about Jason Todd is that despite all of the pain, all of the heartache, all of the betrayal, and bullying, and death, and anguish. Jason Todd is one of the most loving and supportive characters in all of DC Comics. Jason has been through so much in his life, but he still chooses to love. He still chooses to see the bright side in people. Yes, he takes a utilitarian approach and chooses to kill certain villains, but at the end of the day he wants to see a better world, and he wants to be loved. It takes so much courage and so much heart to learn to love again after one has been abused or traumatized. I would not blame Jason at all if he said fuck it and just went full solo and vigilante evil. He has every right to, but he still chooses to be with the Bat Family of his own accord. That's something that I see a lot of in myself. I have been through a lot of trauma and yet I try to be a better person myself in any way that I can. It is extremely admirable of Jason to allow love back into his heart when he really doesn't need to. He kills and he protects because he has this love of society. It may have been shaped by anger and hatred, but Jason has found his place amongst people who love him and value him. I think Ducra, from Red Hood and the Outlaws put it best in the image given below.

To end this tangent, I love Jason Todd and all of his sexy dangerousness, but it's far more than that. As much as Jason may be dangerous and snarky, he loves his family without a shadow of a doubt. I look up to Jason Todd because despite all of his pain and all of his trauma, he still choses to love. Jason Todd is a character who is someone I love because despite all of his flaws and having a very toxic fandom, he still serves as a character filled with so much heart and so much passion. I wish more writers would understand that. But for now I will live with what I have. Even though the fandom may be vocal about it's hatred for his characterization, I choose to love Jason regardless because he is a character who chooses love and acceptance regardless of his pain. Jason Todd is by no means a good person in any sense of the word. He has easily killed upwards of 100 people by now. He is a character who is flawed and complex but ultimately is one who powers forwards and finds love and heart in a place from so much pain and anguish. That is what I love about Jason Todd. After all, to quote a famous undead robot superhero, "What is grief, if not love persevering?" Jason Todd chooses to love despite all of the trauma and pain and grief. Yes, he is hardened in his exterior, but inside there is a man with a lot of love to give and someone who deserves the world in my eyes.

[just-bible-musings]

It's always one extreme or the other in this world, ain't it? On the one hand, you've got the Christians who, for all appearances, seem to bait liberals into arguments just for the fun of arguing. And on the other hand, you've got the Christians who preach the Love Gospel and attend pride parades allow just anybody to have positions in their churches.

I've mentioned before (and on some of my other blogs) that I don't believe that Christians should be attacking gays, picking fights with them, calling them names and making jokes, etc. But I abhor those who condone them and support them.

What sparked this post? An interview on a Christian music radio station earlier this week with somebody talking about Gen Z and how fluid they are in everything, how they think everything can and should be changed. This guy (I don't remember his name, but I guess he was some well-respected Christian writer or some such thing) didn't specifically suggest allowing gays to have positions in church, but he did suggest that the kind and loving thing to do is to allow Gen Z to serve in the churches in official positions, despite their beliefs on fluidity.

I'm sorry, but I cannot agree with this line of thinking. There are certain things in the Bible that God specifically calls a sin, and rebellion against the gender He made you to be is one of them, whether you're gay, or trans, or bi, or whatever. "...male and female created he them" (Genesis 1:27).

I believe I have said this before, and if I haven't, I'm saying it now: following Christ is NOT about "being good"! It's about being what God made you to be.

Look, I know people don't want to believe this. We all- myself, included- want to believe we have control over our own lives. We do not! God created us! He is omniscient, He knows where the world is going, He knows what is going to happen, and we don't. And He created each of us with specific skills and abilities (and weaknesses) that will allow us to cope with the world and with the events that will happen in our lives. And some of those skills and abilities go along with our gender.

I could go off on a whole bunch of tangents on this, but right now, I just want to make this clear: God says that your gender and your sexuality are not up for debate.

Sin is not just what you do, it's a mindset in which you believe that you know better than God. Satan, at some point, convinced a gay/trans person that they should be a different gender than what they are, and they believed him. Believing a lie about who and what you are and the purpose for which God made you- that is the very definition of sin. Anything that steers you away from what God made you to do, that is sin.

Going back to my original topic about Christians condoning homosexuality and allowing them to work in the church:

First of all, I am NOT saying gays shouldn't be allowed in church, as in, attending church. Never, ever, EVER do anything to convince someone they are not allowed to draw closer to God. There are severe consequences for those who try to push people away from God (Luke 17:2).

HOWEVER, there are limits to what people should be allowed to do in church. Many of the epistles, especially Paul's letters to Timothy and Titus, had guidelines for deacons and pastors, and I believe similar guidelines should be applied to anyone serving in the church, whether they be nursery workers, kitchen staff, or the person who scrubs behind the toilets. The church is God's house. Serving in the church, in any capacity, is serving God. If you are not serving God in every area of your life- or at least trying to as best as you understand- then you should not be serving in His house.

I'll give you an example, one that does not involve anyone identifying as LGBTQ. When I was looking for a church after I came to Jesus, one of the first ones I tried was very small and very legalistic. At the time, I didn't fully understand legalism, I just thought they were trying their hardest to follow the Bible. Yet they had a member of the church, a married man, who was known for touching women inappropriately. Like, the whole town knew about it and warned people to stay away from that guy (or from the whole church). The pastor and his wife kept saying that they talked to him about it. But the last I knew, that guy was still there. I only went to the church a few times before I decided I couldn't handle their hypocrisy and I left. Oh, and did I mention that the creepy old guy also had quite a bit of money? Yeah. It was one of those churches.

Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish. Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. Matthew 18:14-17

This is Jesus' commandment on dealing with people who willfully sin and refuse to stop. 1 Corinthians 5 goes into further detail on how to deal with willful, deliberate sin within the church.

This, btw, only applies to the church. 1 Corinthians 5:11 says not to eat with fornicators (sex outside of marriage, and since God's rules for marriage are specifically one man and one woman, this includes homosexuality), extortioners, or idolators. The rest of the chapter lists other traits to avoid. But remember that Jesus ate with sinners. So what makes the difference?

The difference is that God called His people to be separate and holy. We are to love the people, but not to join ourselves to them. "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14) We have to interact with people from all walks of life- not only as part of daily living, but also to witness and testify to them about Christ. Be we are not to be a part of them, or them a part of us. If someone is know to be willfully living in sin- whether they are gay, drunkards, creepy perverts, or shoplifters- we are not to call them our brothers and sisters. The entire church is unified through the Holy Spirit, and God cannot unify Himself with sin.

People always want to talk about how loving Jesus was, but everyone forgets about this part:

And he taught, saying unto them, Is it not written, My house shall be called of all nations the house of prayer? but ye have made it a den of thieves. Mark 11:17

And when we allow people into our churches who are willfully sinning against God, we are the ones turning His house into a den of thieves.

[thehiddenmemoryuniverse]

Lucifer Ending: Tragedy and Contradiction

Okay, so I tried really hard to resist the urge to post anything about it, and I even held out for over a week trying to process/calm my feelings about the ending to Lucifer. I’ve tried, I really have, but the more I try, the more I CANNOT rationalize that ending. As you may have guessed, I absolutely hated the ending, and I just really, really, have to get my feelings out about it. If you liked the ending (I really wish I could be you!!), you may want to skip reading any further (I recommend you do, in fact). 

Ultimately, regardless of the details, that ending for Chloe/Lucifer is just way too heartbreakingly tragic and sad, however, this is made all the more unbearable because none of it makes ANY damn sense.  

I’m just going to start by pasting a bunch of quotes first:

2x05

Lucifer: I refuse to believe that. There is always another way.

Mum: If anyone can find it, it's you.

2x02 Chloe: “Doing what's best for your child, it doesn't always make them happy.”

3x16

Cain: But you're the Devil, you always keep your word.

Lucifer: I do. So I hope you understand how difficult a decision this was. And yet, oddly, the easiest I've ever made.

6x01

Lucifer: I love you, Chloe Decker. I'd do anything for you. Except give you up. Give us up.

6x09

Lucifer: I need you to know that if there is any choice to be had at all, I will always... choose us.

6x07

Rory: You make choices, Mom. If I told you what they are, you wouldn't really be making them any more.

Yeah. Not going to comment further on these right now. 

Nor am I going to even get into the whole fate vs free will. Regardless of your views on that debate, why on earth a show about free will spends its final season spotlighting the widespread, controversial debate of fate vs free will by introducing a time loop plot, I’ll never understand. 

But even if we forget the numerous issues/contradictions with that (and the ridiculous irony of Rory’s quote shown above), and accept that Lucifer and Chloe chose this, I honestly feel like screaming because WHY??? Why on earth would they EVER want to chose this? 

I know the 2 reasons given, the reasons everyone is speaking up with, the reasons expanded on at length in fanfiction, and I’ve tried really, REALLY hard to rationalize them in my head, tried to enjoy the sweet moments fanfic writers are trying to make of it, but I cannot. Because it doesn’t make any damn sense whatsoever to me.

Reason # 1: Lucifer never would’ve realized his ‘calling’ to help tortured souls in Hell.  

Right. First of all, if it really is his ‘calling’ he would figure it out eventually because that’s what a bloody calling is. I mean really. Not to mention there was plenty of evidence that he was figuring it out already, and him figuring it out after actually helping people in hell (Jimmy, Dan, Mr. Said out bitch), makes way more sense than stopping someone from making the mistake of killing someone else.

And second, even if we accept the argument that he wouldn’t find his calling, we are then saying that he chose his ‘calling’ over his own family, the people he loves most of all? That’s beyond awful to me. And pretty much destroys all of the growth and beauty and love and development across the series. A complete contradiction to even earlier in series 6. See above quotes. Lucifer tells Chloe he’d do anything for her, except give her up, give them up. He tells her if there’s ever any choice to be had he would chose them (his family). So, what the heck? Which leads me to reason 2, and beware with continuing because this is UNBEARABLY frustrating to me so I may get a bit heated. I just can’t. I can’t understand this.  Reason #2: They did it for their daughter, because she asked them to, because she didn’t want them to change her, because she’s happy with who she is, etc, etc..

This is the most widely accepted reason, the most referenced in fanfic, that it’s so beautiful because Lucifer and Chloe sacrificed everything for their daughter because they loved her so much.

I’m sorry, I really am, I tried so hard to make sense of this but it makes the least sense to me of all. 

Why on EARTH is Rory growing up without her father better for her? Why on earth would Lucifer, of all people, knowing the pain it causes, ever chose that for his daughter?

This is not sacrificing for their daughter, this is sacrificing for NOTHING at all. This is doing the ABSOLUTE worst for their daughter, all because she asked them to?

And her asking them to in the first place makes no sense either. Why on earth would Rory ASK for it after all the pain it caused her? Earlier she told Lucifer and Chloe that him leaving ‘ruined her life’, and now all of a sudden she’s happy with it? After seeing and reading how much Lucifer and Chloe loved each other she wants to separate them? After saying she now loves Lucifer too she wants to do that to him? And you can’t tell me it’s her being selfless because she thinks he won’t find his ‘calling’ otherwise, because even if he doesn’t (which he would for reasons above), then again we are saying they are choosing a ‘calling’ over family, over those they love most. Or, even worse, Rory, is choosing FOR HIM and ROBBING him of his choice to chose his family over his ‘calling’. 

No matter what way you spin it, it is just all kinds of wrong and messed up, and does not showcase the love the characters have for each other, nor the freedom of choice.

There’s nothing beautiful about any of this to me. It’s just plain awful and cruel for NO REASON. 

Yes, I know I’m missing one popular theme with all of this, and I might just hate this one most of all: That even though Rory suffered it made her stronger, she’s proud of who she is, and they don’t want to change her, don’t want to ‘kill’ this version of Rory who grew up without her dad. 

No. Just no. This pains me immensely. So we’re saying that she’s a better person having grown up without a Dad than she would’ve been growing up with a complete, loving family? That people who grow up with loving families can’t be as strong and proud of who they are? WTF? 

Sure, we as people are only strong in life when we need to be but that doesn’t mean that someone who grew up more fortunate doesn’t still have the capacity for that strength (or that they don’t suffer in other ways).

Yeah, it’s beautiful when you grew up abandoned and were able to eventually overcome it, but in reality you’ll always be scarred to some degree, and you certainly would have been less messed up, happier if you hadn’t.

Changing the time loop so that Rory could grow up with her father in her life wouldn’t ‘kill’ her. Fundamentally she’d still be the same, still would have grown up with her ‘kickass’ mom. All the good parts would still be there. There would just be even more good and much less of the bad.

How on earth would Chloe and Lucifer not want to chose that?

There is no way anyone can ever convince me that you come out better growing up abandoned by your father than you would have if he hadn’t. Just no.

We are strong and proud to overcome something only when WE HAVE NO CHOICE. CHOOSING to suffer just to show how great you are afterward for overcoming it when you could have chosen NOT to suffer at all, is just the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. 

It reminds me of a quote from one of my childhood movies, the original “Lion King.’ Little Simba tells his dad he went looking for danger to show that he’s brave, and his dad answers, “I’m only brave when I have to be.” 

So.  Circling back. Ignoring the debate on whether or not there was even a choice given (fate vs free will and ridiculous time loops). Ignoring that Lucifer likely (and should have) been able to find his ‘calling’ anyway. 

Then, in summary, we are left with Lucifer (and Chloe) ‘choosing’ for Lucifer to leave them for Hell, abandoning them both (and Trixie) because either

1) Lucifer’s calling is more important than being with his family

2) Rory wants to suffer, to let her parents suffer an unimaginable amount of pain, just to show that she comes out better for it, even when she can choose not to suffer at all. And Chloe and Lucifer are both in agreement that this is best for them and their daughter. 

What. The. Hell???!!

I’m sorry, but there’s no rationale for this. None. At. All. 

I’ll be the first to admit that I would never be happy with such a devastatingly heartbreaking ending no matter what the reasons, but, HOLY HELL, can they at least have had it make even the smallest amount of SENSE?! 

It’s just angst for the sake of angst, and I especially did not expect this from this show. It was always a show not to be taken too seriously, not to overthink and just have fun with, and that’s what made it work for me. But then they decide it’s a good idea to 1) throw in a time loop plot when time loops in fiction is pretty much the definition of serious complexity and making viewers overthink. And 2) have it end with such a tragic and sad ending that makes no sense. I am so sick and tired of the trend now days that shows can’t have happy endings.

(Edit: Now look what happened. I’ve gone and made another rant: https://thehiddenmemoryuniverse.tumblr.com/post/663357629901438976/lucifer-morningstars-broken-journey)

[leatawrites]

Hey guys guess what?!! I finished a new chapter of Learn! It's been almost a year since I started working on this chapter and I'm honestly blown away that this story has over 300 kudos on AO3. I’m so appreciative of the amount of love, kudos, reblogs, notes, and comments you all have given this fic. It means so much to me. This one is a little bit of filler despite its length, but I don't know how long it'll take me to finish the next part (since that is where most of my writer's block is coming from) but I give you new chapter!

See a preview below the cut or check out Chapter 9: Reconnecting from Learn, Rated Explicit, in full on my AO3.

Snipping from Learn, Chapter 9: Reconnecting

“How are you doing?” Sam asked, glancing at Gabriel as they walked the familiar trail around their home with Buttercup running ahead of them.

Sam could feel Gabriel’s lingering unease and despite how smoothly cooking with Dean had gone, Sam could feel the celestial's wariness regarding his heavenly family. Gabriel sighed, glancing at their conjoined hands, running his thumb over the back of Sam’s, before looking back around the dusk-colored woodland and rocky trail.

“I don’t know how to answer that, Sam,” He offered with a wave of his hand, after a long moment of combing through his grace.

Between Castiel’s arrival with the news of Michael and Raphael and reliving the fall with his partner, Gabriel wasn’t sure how exactly he was doing. Sam squeezed his hand, his soul caressing the archangel’s grace. He nodded, looking over the frown marring Gabriel’s lips, watching them twist as the elder thought about it more in the quiet of the fall air.

“I’m worried,” Gabriel eventually voiced when they were a few steps further down the rock-littered dirt path. “The jars will work. Cassie did a good job, and…" he sighed, pausing as he recounted their dinner conversation. “Dean and Bobby calling in favors to find something touched by the Host instead of Michael's sword to guide Raphie’s grace is a good plan.”

Sam nodded, in agreement, feeling Gabriel’s grace give an unsettled twist. The archangel had shared openly with Sam how the two elder brothers had spent their time alone together. The two had cooked in compatible silence and classic rock for the majority of it, both brothers worried about overstepping and meddling in their younger brother’s relationship too soon. Eventually, the two had given up and landed on the safe topic of the apocalypse. The conversation had led to the elder Winchester asking what made Michael’s sword so special and had spilled into the dining room when they had all gathered to eat. The long talks gave birth to the idea of using a divine artifact instead of Michael’s sword. The five of them agreed that if the connection to the First of the Whole was close enough to the sword, it should work and safely reduce the risk of Raphael's grace becoming more fragile in the transfer and harming anyone around them.

Gabriel released a sigh, thinking of all of the lost objects scattered about the universe and within his homeland. “I’m debating asking Balty to find one… He might already have one stashed away somewhere,” Gabriel said aloud, looking at Sam with a frown. His grace swirled, sharing memories of the opportunistic angel with Sam. Balthazar was the only angel Gabriel had kept contact with after the young angel had found him on Earth accidentally. “It would help, but…”

“You would be putting a big target on his back, making him leave the Host and trying to keep secrets from the Whole,” Sam filled in out loud with a harsh exhale, wincing as he watched Buttercup stop to sniff at a bush. He ran his right hand through his hair, he understood Gabriel’s fear of putting his brother in any more danger. “How good is he with the concept of privacy? I mean if angels are all telepathic and part of each other, how long can he keep it up with Rapheal thinking about you constantly?” Sam questioned, tilting his head down to look at him when they stopped to wait for their dog.

Gabriel huffed, waving his free hand as he shrugged and blew out a hard breath in the form of a raspberry. “I honestly don’t know how he’s kept it up this long!” He looked up at Sam as their connected arms swung between them. “I get your point though and you're right. He'll be safer with us.”

Gabriel's amber eyes found Sam's, listening to his partner's thoughts as they swirled within his grace. Sam chuckled, a smile blooming over his features, his dimples brightening his cheeks at how easily Gabriel could hear him when they were this close. The archangel's grace lightened at the feeling of Sam's soul-warming around it. Gabriel's head tilted down, shuffling his feet in the dirt with a reluctant smile at Sam's happiness with their bond as he continued.

“I’ll reach out to him, Samshine," Gabriel said aloud, looking up at him before looking back to Buttercup with a shrug. "Maybe he can grab something on his way out.”

Sam nodded, returning Gabriel's smile as they waited for Buttercup before continuing down the forest path.

“Maybe, but he was part of the same garrison as Cas. If he's staying it'll be safer for him here.”

Continue reading on Ao3.

Gabriel's grace hummed in agreement roving within him as they followed after Buttercup. His brows pinched, sensing the swirl of a hesitant idea within Sam.

The hunter's head tilted back with a laugh as the archangel's grace prodded and teased within him, filling his subconscious with a coaxing tone.