#but what if... this time... what?

[ibenology]

the average twitter vs tumblr community experience

[redstonedust]

phenomenom thats been bothering me that i could only express via an mspaint reverse boomer comic

[dullanyan]

a few weeks ago i needed worcestershire sauce for a recipe but i didnt have any so i had to leave it out.

u are never gonna believe what i found in the cabinet today, unopened, probably has been there for months,

[itsscaredycat]

so ok yeah fine i watched gravity falls again and read the book of bill

[noodles-and-tea]

Haha… yeah… that’d be crazy…

[blueskittlesart]

knowledge long forgotten

got really into reading item descriptions on this playthrough. anyway did you know the silent princess is one of the only raw materials with a cooking effect to not explicitly list that effect in its description

[jue-jack]

Kirby is a star!!!

[erstwhilesparrow]

okay i lied put your clothes back on we're not having sex i'm fundamentally evil and i need you to kill me

[alocalfrog]

Can you imagine suing Boeing and coming home to find Boeing's faulty plane parts washed up in your backyard?

[soapbbox]

Tenna watch out for the thirst comments

[mintaii]

take responsibility

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

girl why the hell WEREN'T you at the devil's sacrament 👀 that's three sacraments in a row you've missed 👀 👀 👀

[icewindandboringhorror]

(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)