#c: barfs tags for notes. end me.

[lcyfish-blog]

[pinkykitten]

black as coal

Harry Potter 

Young! Sirius Black x female! reader

Warning: mentions of sex, some curse words

Specifics: fluff, romance, gifs, prompt list, comedy, one-shot, race neutral reader

People: sirius black, albus dumbledore 

Words: 1,414

Requested: By anon Hey love, do you write for hp characters? If so, can you write 7, 17 from the fluffy/general prompt list with young!sirius black after graduation where he and the reader live together?

Prompts:

7- “wait, no, don’t take kissing away from me.”

17- “you promised me a cookie!” 

Authors Note: this is my first ever hp fic so im excited for the feedback, also this is the first time someone has requested something based off the prompt list i am currently using. u can find it in my bio, need help just ask! anyways my sis is in love with sirius and anything ben barnes rlly. but i can totally see why, i fell in love with his acting skills when i saw him in punisher he was so good! and he is just so handsome and ugh i can stare at his face all day. but yes im back to writing ur normal requests. 

(not my gif! do not own!)

It was not much, not much indeed. Yours and Sirius’s house was tiny, only a few bedrooms. To maybe another person's eyes it was not much but to you, the miniscule house meant everything. You thought of it as the place where memories would be made. Life would be lived within the house.

You and Sirius married after you two graduated Hogwarts. Now, that may seem a bit of a young age but two souls as such were bound together, it just felt right. Sirius was your light in the dark world. He made you feel safe and loved. 

Humming to yourself you feel comfort in knowing that Sirius is just in the other room. You hum a tune slow and angelic, sounding like a fragile tweet of a bird. You smile to yourself as you knead the dough of your delicious famous apple cinnamon cookies. (this sorta reminds me of the dessert found in FBAWTFT when queenie is cooking) Needing a tad bit more flour you whisper the charm, “Wingardium Leviosa.” With a flick of your wrist, you guided the flour bag to you with your wand. Nodding to yourself you sprinkle the flour, dusting the white substance all over, coating the countertop. “That's better,” you whispered as you kneaded the cookie dough more roughly. You were about to cut them out when you heard a presence behind you. You bit your lip as you tried to hold back a grin. 

With a light step, Sirius walked behind you. Enjoying how you looked baking. You looked so...perfect. The way your delicate fingers moved not against but with the dough made him wish that dough were him. And how the sun light sparkled against your skin, making his heart beat faster. 

Sirius placed his strong hands on your waist, “guess who?” He breathed in your ear, sending goosebumps to litter your whole body. 

“Hmmm, Dumbledore?” You joked, laughing. Sirius twirled you so you would face him. “Sirius!”

“You cheeky girl.” Sirius gave you a toothy grin as he captured your lips in such a beautiful kiss. Oh how you wanted to run your fingers through his soft hair but your hands were covered in baking ingredients. “Sirius my hands are filthy! I don’t want to get you dirty!” You backed away, putting your hands up so they wouldn’t touch him. 

“Now you and I both know that would never happen to me, love. There is no way a beautiful girl such as yourself would ever be dirty.” His comment made you bashful. He tried once more to kiss you but you placed a clean spoon to his chest, backing him away, “no Sirius.”

Sirius whined almost like a dog. Pouting and giving you his doe, cute eyes. Almost pleading. 

You twirled around and went back to baking. Using the charm diffindo to cut the apples to place them atop the cookies. “No means no. We can kiss all we want...after I finish these cookies.”

Sirius heaved a heavy sigh, sitting down on a chair nearby. “C’mon y/n, you know you can’t resist this sexy face.” He raised his brow and gave you a smoldering look as you turned your head. He blew you a kiss, to which you accepted but then crossed your arms, “do you not want to have kisses at all?”

“Wait, no, don’t take kissing away from me!” Sirius jumped as he ran to you. You rolled your eyes, “Oh Merlin's beard I’m only kidding, you goof! We can kiss and make love all night.” This shut him up. Sirius nodded his head like a dog as he shook with excitement, “I knew you couldn't keep yourself away from me that long.” 

“And,” you started as you crept to him sexually, pushing him down to be seated on the chair once again. You sat upon his lap, feeling his breathing come to a halt, almost as if he were afraid of moving. “if you are a good boy, I promise to give you a cookie. Deal?” Sirius was unable to utter a word, his mouth shaped like an o. He was mute. “Alrighty then,” you said as you wiped your floured finger on his nose. You stood up and proceeded to finish baking. 

After that you two spent the rest of the afternoon together, kissing, cuddling, in each others arms. Your two bodies were wrapped together intimately but also mentally. Making love together grew you two closer and made you feel more loved. Spending the day just the two of you made you be almost on a high, high with love. 

Sirius laid beside you, naked, on the bed while his arm was a pillow for you and you rested your head on his strong arm, feeling his pulse beat for you. His hand came up to your face to trace your features with his fingers. 

“My darling, answer me this.”

“Hmm,” you acknowledged him enough but was still being relaxed and your eyes kept trying to close from his tickles. 

“How in the world did I end up with such a beautiful woman? Hmm answer me that.”

You eyes opened, Sirius cursing under his breath at your beauty especially the enchantment that was held in your e/c eyes. You also in the nude stood up, covers slipping off your skin like silk. Like water falls out of a cup. You sat on your husbands lap, putting your hands behind his head. Sirius felt at home with you like this. He could live like that any day. With you in his presence, in his arms, he didn’t need to see the world for he saw it within your eyes. He didn’t need to see people his friends all he needed in life was you. Only you to survive, to live. 

“Well you see my dear husband Sirius, I ask myself that very question but with you instead. I ask myself as I gaze upon your face each morning I get to wake up to you, how in the world did a woman such as myself end up with the most spectacular - not just the most spectacular man, but the most spectacular human being on planet Earth? Now answer me that.”

Sirius gave a low, rough chuckle as he moved you so he was on top. He gave a  look of adornment as he stared at your complexion. “I love you so much y/n.”

You gave him a kiss as you leaned your forehead against his, pecking his nose at the end. “I do too love you Sirius, you make my heart-oh my I forgot the cookies!” You flew out of bed and ran to the oven. All that Sirius could hear was a screech from you and the smell of burnt cookies.

Sirius walked in on you trying to save the baked goods. “Its okay sweetheart, they look...” He finally got a good look at them and they were all black as coal. 

You stood there, angry with yourself, “you were saying?”

Sirius felt his heart break a little, he really did want a cookie, “awww no fair! You promised me a cookie!”  

“I’m sorry Sirius, these were a gift to you and now I messed them up.”

Sirius saw your disappointed look on your face and grabbed a cookie taking a huge bite. You could hear the rough dough in his mouth as he took many bites. He kept his thoughts on your feelings because if he did not he probably would of barfed. You saw his reaction and you noticed he was trying not to grimace at the taste. 

“See honey, that is the shi*. Its so,” he shivered at the taste, making an odd face. “Its so different and unique but taste so dam* good!”

You smacked Sirius upside his head, “don’t lie to me Sirius Black! I know its bad, now you shouldn’t have eaten that. It was not a good cookie.”

Sirius touched the place where you smacked him, he quickly grabbed you and placed a great amount of kisses all over your face, “listen to me young lady, even though that cookie yes may have tasted ghastly, you should be proud of yourself still. Because even though they were bad, you still unknown to me the power, you still made me like them. Thank you my y/n for making them.”

You pouted as he held you in his arms, “yeah well it was your fault any way. You kept me from checking on them.”

Tag list: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @andreaoreas, @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @fangirl-4-life415, @dirbel

wanna be tagged in my crap? comment!

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

@kiwimeringue replied to your post “I know it’s generally rude and very unwise to reply to a fandom...”

ok I'm super curious now, feel free to message me if you want to talk about it all stealthy-like~

@veliseraptor replied to your post “I know it’s generally rude and very unwise to reply to a fandom...”

i'm so curious

apparently I did want to talk about it, because this got looooong (also please do not add more discourse to this post, it’s probably kind of shitty of me but I don’t super want to have a dialogue about it, I just want to barf out my thoughts and defend my own faves on my own post, so if you want to argue with me I would really rather you didn’t and just made your own post instead)

(I also only just realized that I only put “tony stark negative” and “tony stark critical” in the tags, not anywhere before the cut, so here’s your warning now if you didn’t see the tags that this is me being frustrated with a lot things about how Tony is written)

I can't find the actual post now to screenshot or link because I just came across it on my dash, got annoyed, scrolled past, and then made my post when I couldn't stop grumpily thinking about it (so at this point I also don't remember who the OP was or who reblogged it onto my dash, which is probably just as well), but the gist was that almost all MCU title characters have storylines establishing that they're wrong about something and they show growth by accepting that and working to improve...except Steve, who never acknowledges that he might ever be wrong about anything, with the implication that this makes him a bad, self-righteous character who is basically incapable of growth. several other characters--Tony, Thor, Dr. Strange, Peter Parker--were mentioned, but the state of fandom discourse makes me assume any Steve-negative post exists at least in part to show how much better Tony is, which...may not always be a fair assumption on my part, but I do think it's fair to say that's still a relevant context. and of course Steve is one of my favorite characters, so anything even mildly Steve-negative puts me at least somewhat on the defensive right away, which again is not necessarily fair. (the other post that’s already sitting in my notes is about Ragnarok, which is probably even less surprising.)

anyway the post made me grumpy to begin with and then doubly so because I couldn't think of a good way to refute it aside from "yeah well maybe Steve's just a better person than your faves and he doesn't need a whole character arc about realizing he's been an asshole and needs to change because he didn't start out as an asshole to begin with, bet you didn't think of that huh" which is of course VERY unhelpful. but then I started thinking about how I don't think OP is right about the changed characters to begin with, given that a) it's not really fair to compare a character who's only had one solo movie (Dr. Strange) with characters who've had more, b) Spider-Man is kind of an edge case because he's a teenager and a lot of the problems in his movies stem from a combination of him being a fucking teenager and Tony dumping him with tons of dangerous tech that he doesn't have the training or adult impulse control to use safely and then blaming him when disaster inevitably results, and c) the characters who have had multiple movies and arcs focused on realizing they were wrong about something (just Thor and Tony, really) are...maybe not actually great examples because like 75% of that character development seems to reset after each movie and, actually, the narrative still operates under the premise that these characters are basically right even if some other characters don't agree. like...I mean, the only lessons Thor really, consistently seems to learn are "humans are at least not totally worthless (but lbr they're mostly silly and cute)" and "Odin is extremely wise and probably right about almost everything despite mountains of evidence--that grow with every single film he's in--to the contrary". 

and Tony, well--yeah, that's his arc, in theory, and in theory I don't have a problem with flawed characters who keep making the same mistakes because let's face it, that's a very human thing to do. but with posts like this, it's like...you're effectively arguing that he doesn't really make mistakes overall, though, because it’s really just an opportunity for growth? and that when he does, the narrative shows he's wrong, he admits he's wrong, and he makes consistent efforts to change? which...again, obviously I have my own biases, but I have to see this as a weird interpretation because he's basically been the main character of the entire MCU thus far, which means he's likely to get sympathetic treatment and justification from the narrative even if he's ostensibly being called out for fucking up, and that's something I've definitely seen. his entire first movie is about him realizing how wrong he was and working to do better, definitely, but he ends up being his own worst enemy half the time and other people suffer for it. like...he wants to protect the world, okay, that's a reasonable goal. you can argue that the vision Wanda gave him made things worse, and that's possible, but I don't know how much that might be true given that I'm pretty sure he was working on Ultron before that too (and her mind-magic mostly seemed to work by emphasizing something that was already there, not planting new ideas). so he ends up creating a murderbot, with good intentions but he still does it and he keeps it secret from the other Avengers, and now-sentient murderbot immediately reaches the conclusion that humanity is awful and they won't need protecting if they're all gone, and everything breaks very bad, and then Tony...basically does the exact same thing again, without telling anybody else, in hopes that it'll work out better this time because JARVIS? and it does but that seems like mostly luck? and everybody manages to defeat the murderbot, barely, but a not-insignificant number of civilians die anyway because that tends to happen when a sentient murderbot goes on a rampage, and Tony feels really guilty about this when it's shoved in his face, so he deals with his guilt by kind of...spreading it around and allowing the possibility of other major problems down the line so they can hand over some of that responsibility and he can feel less guilty. (that’s not the most charitable interpretation, yeah, but I also don’t think it’s an unreasonable one, based on what’s there in the text.) and then of course things blow up and other problems get dragged in and it's a huge mess and half the Avengers are fugitives, and the general consensus sort of seems to be that nobody was completely right or completely wrong but Steve is the only one who actually apologizes for any of it (no wait, I guess Wanda and Vision apologized but just to each other) and Rhodey reinforces the idea that the Accords were a good idea with no major drawbacks...and then Thanos shows up and things get SO VERY MUCH worse.

and Tony is once again stricken with grief and guilt (not to mention half dead), so lashing out at Steve is understandable, but what he actually says is basically that this is all Steve's fault because he wasn't there (even though he immediately sent Tony that phone, which means Tony could have contacted him at any time but hesitated to do so even when monsters were basically falling from the sky), and he was right about the Accords and Ultron even if the latter didn't work out so well in ways that probably could have been predicted, and...that's what we're left with. nobody else has a meaningful opportunity to say "now hold on a second, you cannot possibly be arguing both for accountability and for your right to decide for the entire world that exchanging some freedom for some potential security is a good trade, and also how are you saying you were essentially right about Ultron when Ultron is what kicked off the desire for the Accords" or, like, anything. (does the world need a security blanket? going by the evidence...yeah, probably? but again. Tony. you tried that and you made a sentient murderbot instead so like, your track record is not great!!)

and then it all culminates with Tony sacrificing himself to save the universe, which I do at least think was a climactic, thematically resonant send-off for such a major character--for the final time, in the most final possible of ways, he reaches a point where there's no more clever tricks and he reacts by selflessly taking the entirety of the consequences onto himself. I can't say I'm happy with it, because I'm not a fan of character death in general even when it doesn't involve my top faves, and it absolutely would have been possible for the filmmakers to keep him alive if they hadn't gone into this with the specific intention of ending Tony's arc with his death. (ditto on all the other major character deaths, which is a big part about why they make me mad--none of them really, honestly had to happen, some even less than others.) but regardless of my feelings on whether it had to happen, it's inarguable that his entire arc from Iron Man to Endgame is that of a brilliant but selfish manchild who changes and grows until he doesn't hesitate to make the ultimate sacrifice for the sake of the entire universe.

BUT THEN THERE'S SPIDER-MAN AGAIN.

spoilers if you haven't seen Spider-Man: Far From Home but like, the entire conflict of that movie was based on two major things: a bunch of disgruntled Stark Industries employees, at least some of whom had to have legitimate, recent grievances (and frankly that whole mess demonstrates--among other things--that Stark Industries must have unforgivably lax security around its arsenal of world-ending weapons); and Tony's decision at some point to essentially REMAKE ULTRON AND THEN DUMP THAT RESPONSIBILITY ON A FUCKING TEENAGER WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN THE WAY OF WARNINGS, TRAINING, OVERSIGHT, OR EVEN BASIC FAILSAFES, like holy shit my computer spends more time making sure I definitely want to delete that file than EDITH does about confirming that yes this random teenager is a legitimate target for IMMEDIATE DEATH. all the other adults involved in this clusterfuck bear a good share of the responsibility for this too, given that not one of them ever seemed to think either "hey, maybe saddling a smart and very good but basically normal sixteen-year-old boy with the power and responsibility (but not the resources or experience) of a grown-ass adult with unlimited resources is not the smartest move here, and yelling at him when he inevitably fucks up this power and responsibility we dumped on him with no training whatsoever is not actually fair or reasonable" or even "maybe before giving a piece of massively powerful and dangerous tech to a sixteen-year-old boy, we should spend at least 15 minutes going over the device's major functions and how to not accidentally kill someone, even if we figure things like ethics and privacy rights and knowing when not to use this tech aren't that important".

but, but, Tony still made the decision to give it to him, and he did so without building in any precautions at all, which is the exact same thing he did in CW/Homecoming with Peter's new suit (yes, the Training Wheels protocol was a good step, but the fact that it could just be turned off that easily--and that Tony isn't shown even trying to tell Peter to use the training programs or safely practice with the suit--shows that it really, really wasn't good enough) except even worse because EDITH is about 100 times more invasive and destructive than the suit. and he pretty much scolded Peter in Homecoming for getting ahead of himself, but then the second Peter did well in a bad situation Tony was right back to making this teenager an official Avenger and giving him all this power and responsibility he'd just decided Peter hadn't really earned, and Peter turned him down because at that point he had a better idea of his own limits and need for growth than Tony did, and then!! in what must have been one of his last acts alive!! Tony dumped an even bigger, more dangerous power/responsibility combo on him!!! way way bigger than the one he'd already turned down and maturely decided he wasn't yet experienced enough to handle!!! without even giving him a chance to say no!!!! and did not take any of that (or the mess with Ultron and the lessons he theoretically learned there, or the mess with the Accords and the lessons he theoretically learned there, or for that matter the lessons he theoretically learned in his three solo movies about treating his employees well and making sure he knows exactly what his company is doing at all times) into account when designing it, handing it off to other adults who also should have been more responsible about it, and leaving it to a teenager against that teenager's stated wishes, thereby ensuring that this teenager will follow Tony's footsteps in being unable to have a normal life!!!!!

...................but, okay, the point of the original post was that Steve is generally deemed to be Always Right and therefore he never has to change, and that makes him unrelatable at best and also not a great character. which...well, that's part of the point, that's why he was picked for Project Rebirth in the first place because he's a good dude dedicated to doing what's right; even before the serum, he was literally willing to die to protect a few people he barely knew (the grenade scene, remember). he was already starting from a point of selflessness and an understanding of responsibility that the others lacked, so it would be tough to give him a similar character arc without undermining or ignoring the whole point of the character. sure, though, even a character like Steve is imperfect and human and bound to be wrong sometimes, and when that happens he should acknowledge he was wrong and take steps to make amends, and if he's never shown doing any of that, it's true that it's not great even if part of the issue is that he's never really put in a position to do so. 

except, except DID YOU ALL COMPLETELY FORGET THE ENDING OF CIVIL WAR

like, sure, if what you wanted was to hear Steve say "I was wrong about everything and Tony was right about everything, and I will humbly submit to whatever you think is best regardless of my own convictions, my very good reasons for having those convictions, and my personal concerns for my friends, or at the very least I will humbly ask for forgiveness and accept whatever you throw at me, because Tony Was Right About Everything," then...yeah, I'm sure it was a disappointment, especially if you figure Tony was right about the Accords and at least the intentions behind Ultron. it's true Steve doesn't really address any of that, which indicates he definitely still believes he’s right about those parts. but...look, the last time he saw Tony, he was fighting to save his lifelong friend from being murdered from a crime he didn't necessarily remember and really wasn't responsible for. once again I don't blame Tony for reacting emotionally and lashing out at the nearest targets instead of the people who were really at fault, but that doesn't change the facts of the situation, which are, Steve was fighting to save Bucky's life. and when he did that by incapacitating Tony, he didn't go any further; he took Bucky and left. and then he almost immediately sent Tony a letter of apology and a means of contacting him in return if an emergency comes up--and again, yes, his apology wasn't "I'm sorry for everything because I was wrong about everything," but it was a genuine, compassionate apology for the ways he'd hurt Tony even if his intentions were basically good. (this of course assumes that he really did know for a fact that Bucky killed the Starks and consciously chose to hide the knowledge from Tony, and frankly I'm not convinced that's true, but it's not really the issue here.) honestly, I thought his letter was kind of funny because it so closely followed the format of the apology-note meme--you know, "I was trying to do X, but I see now that I hurt you because Y" and everything. he didn't apologize for opposing the Accords or protecting Bucky or fighting in Germany so he could get to Siberia in time to stop what he had every reason to believe was a much bigger threat, because all those actions stemmed directly from his convictions and sense of morality and he wouldn't be Steve Rogers or Captain America if he was willing to compromise his most foundational convictions--but he absolutely did apologize for hurting Tony and recognized that he'd made at least one big mistake where Tony was concerned. 

Tony...didn't. even before doubling down on the Accords and Ultron, I don't think he ever really said, hey, at least some of this was my bad; most of what he said boiled down to "okay this situation isn't ideal but I'm sure if I throw more money at it things will work out fine, more or less". in the Raft and in Siberia he got close to saying that maybe he'd been wrong about a few things, but that all went out the window pretty quick, and I don't think there's ever a point where he--just for instance--at least apologizes for trying very very hard to kill Bucky. and by Endgame, apparently he’s pretty much walked back what little he did kinda sorta think he was maybe wrong about. so.

that's...basically what I've got, OP’s interpretation is wrong because their facts are actually wrong and I was apparently annoyed enough to barf out all these words when I could’ve been doing anything else, the end

[buckybarnesstar]

Valentine’s Day

Note: Happy Valentine’s Day, my loves! I hope you had a better day than I did! this is short and not that great; my writing juice is low! feedback is welcome! .c

Valentine’s Day always left the most distasteful flavor in your mouth. You once had someone close to you to spend it with and now, you curse the day in vain because screw love, screw the heartfelt gifts, and screw time wasted on someone who didn’t deserve you. Maybe one day you’ll find someone who does.

You stayed in bed most of the morning so you could avoid seeing the Valentine decorations littering all over the tower. The two lovesick girls and a very head over heels Steve spent all day yesterday, putting them up. They threw foil hearts everywhere, covering the floor, pink and red rose wall decals placed on every inch of the walls.

They even went so far as to hang a rather large baby Cupid from the ceiling in the common room. It made you want to barf. Not to mention, the bedroom doors all except yours and surprisingly Bucky’s, had candy heart decals on them saying some lovesick word or short phrase, only worsening the mood for you.

You used to love this day, spending it with your ex-significant other, showering them with gifts, seeing the love in their eyes. Now, you dreaded the day it came around. You were happy for the couples in the tower, and you were more than thankful they had left to go on their dates. You were alone in the tower, or so you thought.

You grudgingly got out of bed and showered, not bothering to put on nice clothes. You settled for a tank top and leggings, not finding a reason to make yourself look dolled up for another regular day in your book. You made a sound of disgust as you walked through the tower, all the decorations sticking out to you like an eyesore.

You heard faint noise coming from somewhere, sounding like the common room. It was only until you walked into a scene that made your hand fly to your mouth to hold your laughter that you found the source of the grunting. Bucky, who you had no clue was even here, was whacking the hanging baby Cupid with an umbrella, trying to knock it down.

“Mother fu-dammit!” He yelled, barely tipping the end of it’s arrow. It was rather big and high up, even for the tall super soldier. “Fuck it. It’s just you and me, you stupid baby.” Bucky said with a huff, throwing the umbrella to the side. You snorted and he whipped around, his eyes wide. “Shit! I thought I was alone!” Bucky shouted, holding his chest.

You giggled and walked in, crossing your arms. “Chill, old man.” You said, rolling your eyes as he took deep breaths. “You’re not the only one who’s alone. It can be scary, huh?” You added harshly. Bucky shot you a glare and you held your arms up in mock surrender. “What’s got you so mad about today?” You questioned Bucky, pointing at the still swinging Cupid.

Bucky sighed and avoided looking at you until you looked away. “I mean, there’s this girl. I’m too nervous to ask her out or whatever..” Bucky trailed off, his eyes looking at you. You looked up at him, seeing his eyes avert to somewhere else. Your heart sank a tad. “Oh.” You said rather coldly, “I don’t have anyone.” You added sadly.

“So, you don’t have a-” Bucky started, seeing you shaking your head quickly before he could finish his question. “Nope.” You said, popping the p. You sighed and sat in Sam’s chair after tossing the heart shaped pillow to the floor with a grimace. Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks tinted red in a cute way. 

You always had a thing for Bucky, but you weren’t sure how to deal with it. You always stayed back, let him do his thing, let him heal from his past. You didn’t want to pressure him or make him feel weird by dumping the small feelings you had on him. You guessed it was too late now. He had his eyes on someone else.

Bucky let out a sigh and sat down on the sofa, his hands resting on his thighs. His hair was in a messy bun, a few shorter layers framing his face. He had a little bit of stubble growing and his usual Henley was unbuttoned all the way, just enough to let your imagination run free. You quickly looked away when Bucky’s head turned in your direction.

He took a deep breath, as if to prepare himself for what he was about to ask you. “Why?” Bucky asked, his hands joining together as he played with his fingers. He did that when he was nervous, you picked up on it a few weeks after he arrived. You looked at Bucky, biting the inside of your cheek. You sighed and your eyes rose to look at the slightly swaying baby Cupid. “Just an ex.” You said quietly.

Bucky nodded after a moment and sat up straighter. “Did it end badly?” Bucky asked softly, you could tell he was scared he’d offend you. You still felt upset about it, but you didn’t hurt like before. It was easier to talk about, just not on this particular day. 

You sighed again, the memories flooding back. You tucked your knees up against your chest and wrapped your arms around them, as if that would help close the gnawing hole in your heart.

With a shrug, you answered his question. “Pretty much. This was our holiday; we got together on this day. And after two years, we broke up on this day.” You said, avoiding Bucky’s sad expression. Bucky sat there, processing what you said. He took in your saddening eyes and your vulnerable position. He stood to his feet and walked over to you, holding his metal hand out to you.

You looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows. “I’m not gonna let you suffer. Will you be my Valentine, Y/N?” Bucky asked, his blue eyes holding your stare. Your eyebrows relaxed and a small smile formed on your lips. You unfolded from your position and grabbed Bucky’s hand, silently telling him yes. He smiled and pulled you along, confusion settling into your mind.

Bucky pulled you into the elevator and you smiled. “Where are we going?”  You asked, looking up at Bucky. His face was red again and it made your heart swell. “Okay, don’t hate me or anything,” Bucky started as the elevator came to a stop, “But it kind of worked out perfectly.” Bucky finished, pulling you down his hallway. Your eyebrows knitted together again and Bucky stood outside of his closed door.

Bucky sighed and grasped both of your hands. “Okay, I’m very nervous.” Bucky said with a breathy chuckle. You blushed though you were still confused. “Bucky, what’s going on?” You asked as you started to get anxious. Bucky sighed, “Cover your eyes.” You did as told, a small smile tugging at your lips.

You heard Bucky open his door and he pulled you inside slowly. Your nose was suddenly filled with smell of a candle burning, or a couple, it was so strong. But you loved it, it was your favorite scent. 

“Candles?” You asked, with a wider smile. Bucky was behind you with his hands on your hips. “Hey, no peeking!” He said with a whine. “I’m not! It’s just strong.” You said, laughing as he walked you forward some more.

You felt Bucky’s hands leave your waist and you kept your hand over your closed eyes. “Alright,” you heard Bucky say, “I like you. I’ve liked you for a while.” Bucky started, his voice shaking. 

Your mouth fell open a tad and you felt your heart start to race. “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen and I feel happy every time I get to see you.” Bucky carried on and you could hear the smile in his tone.

Bucky took a deep breath before continuing. “You’re sweet, you’re kind, you can kick anybody’s ass and make it look like the perfect way to die, you’re gentle with me, you helped me realize I’m not just a broken man, but a man who can love and maybe be loved in return.” Bucky whispered the last part and your throat formed a lump as tears threatened to spill from your closed eyes.

You could feel Bucky’s hand grasping your wrist. He gently pulled your hand from your eyes and his metal hand caressed your cheek. “Open, Doll.” Bucky whispered, your eyes doing as he said. You looked up at Bucky and his eyes were watery. You noticed a few candles here and there, and a teddy bear with a heart shaped box of chocolates sitting against it.

A gasp fell from your lips and you walked over to the little gifts. “Bucky.” You whispered, picking up the soft bear and box of chocolates. “If you don’t feel the same way and if it’s too much, given your past, I understand.” Bucky said behind you. “I didn’t know until today.” He added quietly.

You turned to face him again and smiled, laughing through your tears. You speed walked towards Bucky and wrapped your arms around him. He held you tightly and kissed your head. “Bucky, I love you.” You breathed, the words spilling from your mouth like an unsaid prayer.

Bucky smiled and lifted your chin up, looking into your eyes. “I’ve waited so long to hear you say that. I love you, Y/N.” Bucky said, leaning down to press his lips to yours. Maybe Valentine’s Day won’t be so terrible after all.

Note: if this sucks or if this is the bomb dot com, let me know because I’m a sucker for feedback. .c

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