#came exclusively for the sitcom vibes

[aflawedfashion]

I starting watching this show because I saw gifs of Agatha and Rio, but overall, it's a really fun Halloween season/autumn witchy show. I'm having a great time.

[thornheartcat]

Fiona's 2023 Anime Awards

Thoughts on anime this year!

Top 5:

Pluto (even has my mom's seal of approval!)

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End

Heavenly Delusion

Undead Girl Murder Farce

probably Scott Pilgrim Takes Off once I get around to it (I KNOW I'M GONNA I SWEAR)

Show that most came closest to making the top 5 but I think I'll still like Scott Pilgrim better: My Happy Marriage! I want what they have...

Most underrated show: BULLBUSTER. I know robots aren't very in right now or whatever but it's a robot workplace dramedy! Give it a chance!

Runner up: Synduality: Noir. Also robots. This one has such Eureka seveN vibes and I mean that as like one of the highest compliments I can give! I missed shows like this! Bring shows like this back! Also it's from the writer of Bunny Girl Senpai! If I say that will you watch it?

Most overrated show: Oshi no Ko. This shit was 60% monologues about how "the entertainment industry is bad, actually" by volume. Snore.

Runner up: JJK2. I mean it's like fine I guess but at this point JJK is like a vehicle that delivers cool fight scenes to my eyeballs. If you ask me to care about the characters or the mechanics behind the cool fights I will laugh at you.

Most niche show I enjoyed: 16bit Sensation: Another Layer. You have to be in so deep in the world of visual novels and eroge to really appreciate this show but I've been in too deep since I was like 14 so I love it!

Show that most should've been bigger: Undead Unluck. I know it's floundering here because it's a Hulu exclusive and Hulu has literally not even spent a single fucking tweet promoting their exclusive anime for some goddamn reason but give it a chance I am BEGGING YOU. Heavenly Delusion and Synduality: Noir had this same problem but Undead Unluck is based on a SJ property so you'd especially think it specifically would be bigger!

Show that most surprised me: Tearmoon Empire! I didn't know I wanted a show about Marie Antoinette getting sent back in time to prevent her own guillotining, or that I wanted that show to be primarily a comedy, but I got it and I love it! I hope it gets another season, I want to watch Mia bumble her way into becoming a better person and making the world a better place some more!

Runner up: Helck! I'd heard good stuff about the manga so I wasn't surprised it was good but I was surprised at just how well it shifted from comedy to drama and how emotionally invested it got me. Every week of that flashback arc had me yelling "NO!" at my computer when each episode ended because I wanted to know what happened next so badly!

Show that most was just sorta there but I had fun anyway: Mononogatari. It's such standard shounen fare and the art and animation rarely rises above the level of even "competent" but by the end of the second half I found myself genuinely invested in the characters? Also the second OP goes hard as hell

Runner up: Spy Classroom. It's not the best spy show out there, but if you've already watched Princess Principal and Spy x Family and you want more anime spy content it's there for you. I liked the girls and their unique abilities, and the narc episode is counterbalanced by the extremely hilarious and period accurate WcDonald's that is "White Fortress".

Worst anime: A Girl & Her Guard Dog. The premise is already not my cup of tea (not a huge age gap fan and especially not a huge fan of the girl falling for the guy who basically raised her, Bunny Drop style, though at least this series is up front about all that rather than luring unsuspecting people in with wholesomeness), but its execution is what really kills it. There's nothing more profoundly unsexy than the love interest behaving like an overprotective sitcom dad. Also doesn't help that the art and animation are straight DOGSHIT. I feel so bad for the animators, they must've been on an insane crunch, you can really feel that they kinda just shit this one out and you just know they're not proud of it and wish they could've done better work. I also feel bad for fans of the manga, the art there isn't terrible and while translating it to animation was always gonna be a little hard this is a particularly tragic attempt.

Most anticipated of 2024: Delicious in Dungeon and Dandadan!!!!!!! GET HYPE BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[kryptonitejelly]

more dad!jake - dad!jake is a VIBE guys.

imagine if his oldest daughter gets her period and he is the only parent around to deal with it

Jake would not have any issue with it, would not be awkward.

He’s been around women all his life, because the man has sisters. It made you surprised when he didn’t flinch at buying tampons / pads for you - didn’t even ask those weird questions alot of guys would ask; just asked you for the brand and length; came back with what you asked + shorter / thinner ones for the last few days.

At first you got sulky (because, you were on your period + thought it was the numerous ex girlfriends that trained him for this) but he just laughed and told you, very amused, “babe, I grew up with sisters, this isn’t my first rodeo.”

So it should come with no surprise that he has 0 awkwardness in approaching these topics with his daughter - z e r o (ok, also because it’s Jake yknow?).

Dad, where’s mom? He gets a text from his daughter when he is home, and he finds it odd - because his (not so) baby girl usually just shouts when she wants something.

Not home, she’s in a meeting. Is everything ok? He replies, waits, and doesn’t get a response.

So he ventures up, to find a locked bathroom door. He knocks, and hears muffled sniffing from the inside. He is panicked, and all ready to break down the door. ��Baby girl? You ok?”

His daughter would be his baby girl (you are baby / babe, exclusively).

He has a hand typing to you, a ear pressed to the door.

He hears more sniffling and a muffled string of words.

“Baby girl, you need to be a bit louder.”

“I have my period, Dad.” She wails and Jake just sighs out in relief (clearly the man was expecting the worst).

“Do you have pads?” He asks, not missing a beat, to his daughter’s slightly mortification.

“No.”

“Ok hang on.”

He goes back to your shared room and rummages for the appropriate types of pads, and places them on the floor outside the toilet.

“I’m placing the pads on the floor outside the toilet, and I’m going to go back downstairs. You do what you need and when you are ready, you can come down - we’ll go to the store and get you what you need.”

He is calm, collected, does what he says and heads down to wait.

His daughter emerges a while later, clearly looking a bit uncomfortable and also slightly puffy eyed. He hands her a bottle of water and a chocolate - “you aunts and mom find chocolate helps”, he tells her with a ruffle of her hair.

She’ll too sniffly to even be bothered by the ruffle today, and he grabs his car keys and they are off!

To the store! Where his daughter and him find themselves standing in front of a wall of pads.

“Do you have a preference?” He’ll ask - because surely school or friends have talked about this. His daughter shakes her head no, clutching her hoodie to her.

“Ok, we’ll get a few, you can figure out what you like.” He grabs a selection and basically dumps them into the cart. He then grabs painkillers on the way out - for cramps - and also finds a hot compress in the shape of a stuffed sheep (because hey, she is still his baby girl).

Forces her to grab a bag of chocolate / sugar. And then off they go back home.

He leaves her to store her pads away, before heating the compress for her in the microwave, and leaving the sugar / painkillers in the kitchen for her where they are easily accessible.

He puts on a sitcom and forces her to watch with her - she’s more than glad to honestly, because she just feels tender and tired and slightly emotional.

So you come home to find both your Seresins on the couch, your daughter clutching her compress to her body, under a throw, snoozing on one end of the couch and Jake on the other.

“What’s this?” You ask him very softly, while sliding yourself sideways onto this lap. His arms go around you and he explains, lips by your ear.

It makes you both look fondly at your girl - because she is growing so fast 🥺 it feels like only yesterday where she was still a tiny human snuggled against your chest.

“I’m glad you were here,” you tell him, hands cupping his face and kissing his lips. “You’re the best dad.”

Because he is <333

[floralseokjin]

;good2me (m)

Hoseok has been your friend and one of your roommates for over a year. That’s fine by you. In fact, most of the time he’s getting on your last nerve, even though you love him half to death. He’d agree. But soon you both find out there’s a very thin line between friendship and potential lovers... Are you prepared to cross it? 

pairing; jung hoseok x reader (slight kim seokjin x reader)  genre/warnings; friends to lovers (idiots to lovers), roommate au, bartender! hoseok, romance, bearable angst, a small infidelity, some mature content, implied smut  words; 15,351

author’s note; i started watching new girl again and got inspired by jess and nick’s relationship! Late, but for hoseok’s birthday 🥺💖

“Ohhh!” Hoseok hollered as you walked into the living area, looking up from where he was sat on the couch, flicking through the television. “Mama’s looking sexy!”

“Thank you. She is,” you said, trying to put on your best sexy voice. You did a little spin, before squeezing your cleavage up. “Got a little breast on show. A little booty if I bend over at a ninety degree angle.” You didn’t bend over the whole way, but he got the picture. 

He laughed, genuinely amused. “What is the occasion?” 

Trying to keep your bashful smile away, you failed. Big style. “Seokjin’s taking me out on our very first official date.” 

“Where to? Somewhere fancy no doubt.” 

“It’s a surpriseee.” 

You were giddy. Had been all day. You and Seokjin were finally happening, after all this time. Three months ago it seemed impossible. You had met in a quite unsavoury way, as in, you’d been determined to go out that night and have a one night stand. The one night stand had sure happened, but make that a multiple night stand. 

It was just casual sex for a few weeks. You didn’t know much about one another—more detail would mean this thing would just get deeper, and it was supposed to be the most casual of casual. You had come out of a longterm relationship at the start of the year, nearly 30 and very unsure what to do now when it came to dating. You’d met a couple of guys along the way, but you kept making the same mistake. You kept getting into relationships with them. You were sick of being Serious Sue, you wanted to be Fun Fanny. The nickname wasn’t the most desirable and you quickly stopped announcing that to potential hook ups you found at the bar. (Hoseok said you were giving off vibes you really didn’t want to be giving off.) 

Seokjin was a bit of a closed book back then, you didn’t know his story, why he wanted to keep things so casual. The guy was super sweet, really attentive and amazing in bed, but you didn’t pry. He hadn’t asked for your history, so you didn’t ask for his. Until you found out he was a doctor. A kid’s doctor. Or if you wanted to be official, a paediatrician. The dude was actually perfect, and that’s how you started to fall. 

It didn’t end well. When you confessed your feelings and implied you wanted more, he took off. He was sorry about it, apologised profusely, but he still left. You were heartbroken. But not just because of the rejection. It was because you’d fucked up again, wanted something serious, even though you’d sworn this thing with Seokjin was just a hook up. 

You managed to shake your dark mood, but you couldn’t shake the fact it felt like Seokjin was the one that got away. The one who was husband material if the situation had been different. It still felt like that nearly two months later when you ran into him at a Christmas party. However, to your surprise, he came at you with a thousand apologies. He couldn’t stop thinking about you, couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d let go. He couldn’t concentrate the regret was so deep. He’d just come out of a shitty relationship when he’d met you, he’d gotten hurt and the idea of getting into a fresh relationship so soon had half frightened him to death. But the truth was he really liked you and wanted to be with you. He wanted something serious now, but he totally understood if you told him where to go. 

You very nearly did. You’d put your heart on the line once and he’d stomped all over it. Maybe it was just the stubbornness in you, seeing as you’d secretly held out for this. You’d needed time to think and Seokjin understood. It was actually Hoseok in the end who’d encouraged you to give it a shot. He knew you were frightened of getting hurt, but you deserved happiness and Seokjin could give that to you. (The dude’s perfect, were his exact words. And rich. Bag him now, before I do.) 

“Well, have a great time,” Hoseok grinned, taking a moment to get another look at you. “You look stunning. He’s gonna be blown away.” 

Your phone dinged in your hand. It was Seokjin, he’d just pulled up. “That’s him now.” Your voice was an unusual pitch. All high and excited. You were nearly at the door when you stopped, remembering what you wanted to tell Hoseok before you’d gotten distracted. You turned back. “Thank you again, Hobi.” 

He groaned. “Quit thanking me. I just gave you my opinion. You’re the one who made the decision.” 

You nodded, smiling softly. You were a broken record by now. “I don’t think I’ll be coming home tonight so don’t wait up.” 

“Ew.” He wrinkled his nose, feigning disgust. “Get out of here!” 

You laughed and opened the door to leave. Yeah, you were big style getting laid tonight. “Have fun with the guys!” You called, managing to get a grunt in reply. 

Living with three males was interesting, to say the least. Definitely not how you imagined seeing in your thirties. But when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade. Life had dealt you a lot of lemons (Read: blows. Lemons = blows) these past twelve months. The breakdown of your eight year relationship had resulted in you moving out of the home you shared. Living with your best friend Joy had been fine at first, but it was always a temporary thing in your mind. That’s how you found yourself here, in loft 4a, living with three guys. Your mother had always told you not to trust an ad on Craigslist, but she lived 100 miles away. What she didn’t know wouldn’t harm her. 

There was Hoseok, of course, who you were closest with. It didn’t make any sense, most of the time you were like chalk and cheese. He was hard to read, kind of judge-y on a bad day, but somehow he got you the most. Maybe it was because just before you’d moved in he’d gone through his own similar breakup. Another long term relationship with a woman you’d meant once when she was picking up some of the things she’d left at the loft. You hadn’t known him well back then, but now you did, and you’d seen first-hand what the separation had done to him. It made him insecure. In himself, in his capabilities and in his job. He worked in a bar down the road, had for a few years after he dropped out of law school, and even though he’d never said it outright, you think that was the parting dig Minah, the ex, had left him with when she’d walked out. But despite that, Hoseok could be fun and easy to be around. That’s why you liked him the most. Because he’d always made you feel comfortable. Right from the beginning. 

Next, there was Yoongi. A radio host for the local station in your area. You might think he was aloof if you didn’t know him any better, but the guy was very much similar to a cat. Slight in his affection but that just made it all the more sincere. You’d never forget the time he’d kicked out this lame-o you’d thought you were exclusively dating, when in fact it turned out he was seeing three other girls too. Yoongi found you in tears in the living room, jerkface trying to apologise for the misunderstanding. He was out on his ass in under five seconds. From that night on you knew to call him a friend, much to his chagrin. He was a big softy really, and very loyal. That’s why Joy had fallen for him pretty early on. One introduction, a few weeks later and Bam! They were an item. There went her vow to never date a guy shorter than her. Plus, Yoongi was very smug about dating a model. Thought all his Christmas’ had come at once. But yeah, they were very much in love now. Pretty sickening really…

And last but not least, there was Namjoon. He was the brains of the group. The only one with a master’s degree, and the only one with a “proper” job. A high school science teacher. Well, technically you were a teacher too, but it wasn’t particularly the same when you taught a bunch of adults creative writing. Namjoon was the sensible one. The one who kept the lid on everyone’s antics when they were in fear of getting out of control. Although boy could be erratic when he wanted to be. More often now that the woman he’d been dating on and off for six months had finally ended things. Heartbroken Namjoon was not fun. Nor was the depressing music he played at 2am in the morning. But you were there for him because you loved him. You, Hoseok and Yoongi. 

3 guys, one girl. Best friends until the end, living in loft 4a. 

Ew. It could be a sitcom. 

“I don’t understand why you had to meet me outside,” Hoseok said to you. “I work here, it’s not like this place is new to me.” 

You hummed, not really wanting to answer him, but also severely distracted. It was a good few weeks later now, winter was pretty much over, life had long and resumed after  Christmas. In fact, it was the middle of February and today was Hoseok’s birthday. The last but one of you to turn the dreaded three-oh. You were pretty nervous right now, inside the bar a whole bunch of people ready to celebrate. Hoseok thought it was just you, the guys and Joy joining him for a few drinks… There was minor detail you’d left out and ignored: Hoseok hated surprises.  

Walking through the bar entrance first, leading the way for obvious reasons, you were met with darkness. Hoseok stopped dead behind you, and you heard him mutter oh, god, aghast. Your stomach dropped out of your ass but you flicked on the lights, yelling SURPRISE! with the rest of the partygoers filling the dingy room. 

“Happy 30th birthday, Hobi!” You exclaimed, hugging into him slightly. You pulled back, a grin on your face, eyes wide as you tried to gauge his reaction. He wouldn’t make a scene, surely? You watched with slight dread as he tried to stretch one across his face too. His eyes were piercing though. Piercing into you with complete and utter disbelief. You then watched as he turned his head and addressed his guests. “Thanks, guys. What a lovely surprise…”

Frick. He was definitely using his fake voice. 

.

.

“What is this?” Hoseok hissed at you. He’d finally been able to corner you an hour in, and you stood huddled together by the restrooms. “I told you I didn’t want a big deal. You said it was just going to be a few lowkey drinks at the bar!” 

“It is,” you insisted, before muttering that next part. “Just with an added 20 more people…” 

“I don’t even know half of them!” He looked around the room, and you joined him. 

Okay, you had to admit, after the first five people you’d added to the list it was pretty hard to think of more. In the end you’d had to improvise. Invite acquaintances or just even friends of a friend… You wouldn’t admit that though. “Sure you do,” you shrugged. “There’s Yoongi and Joy.” 

“She’s your best friend.” 

“There’s Namjoon.” 

“They don’t count.” He frustrated. “They were supposed to be here! It was just supposed to be them!” 

“There’s Mrs. Choi from our building–”

“You invited a 60 year old lady to my birthday?” 

She had a soft spot for him. Of course she should be here. “There’s Brian, your-your boss…” You admit by now you were struggling. 

“He’s just here because he works every night.” 

“There’s…” You glanced around again, desperate to see a familiar face of Hoseok’s. Finally, you found someone. “THERE’S NARA!” You shouted pretty loudly, excitement taking over. She drunk at the bar a few nights a week. Hoseok had become a little enamoured. 

He jerked his head in her direction. She was sat in a booth with Yoongi, Joy and Namjoon. The latter chatting away with her. “Oh, my god. You invited Nara?!” 

“Of course I did. You like her.” 

“No, I don’t.” He was quick to refute. “I don’t like her. How do you know I like her?” He was also quick to give in. 

“You find a way to bring her into conversation every single time. Ask Yoongi.” 

He sighed dramatically, rubbing his his temples. “Well, that’s just great. Now she knows I’m 30. She knows I’m old!” 

“Shut up,” you scoffed. “She’s close to 30 too.” 

His head shot up. “You know her age?” 

“Yes. I know a lot about her.” You smirked, feeling powerful. “In the five minute conversation we had while I was inviting her, I found out way more than you have in the past three weeks you’ve been into her.” 

“I like to take my time.” He fumed. You were close to bickering, you could feel it. Hoseok said you were a butt-er in-er. You took control of things that weren’t your job. This was probably a classic example. However, this time around he relented. He wanted in on this info. He lowered his voice, leaning in. “What did you find out?” 

You shrugged, pretty nonchalant. If it wasn’t his birthday you’d make him pay you ten bucks for the facts. “Her surname. Her age. Where she was born. She prefers cats over dogs. LOVE that,” you exclaimed. Hoseok rolled his eyes, speeding you up with hand motions. “She’s only had one serious relationship in her life. Kinda like me. Although, who knows now that me and Seokjin are an item.” 

You found yourself easily on a tangent. Your relationship with Seokjin the biggest distraction in your life right now. Things were going amazing. Just over six weeks in and you were finding that domestic bliss you and your ex never had. 

“I don’t care about your life. I care about mine.” Hoseok rudely interrupted. “What else did you find out?” 

You glared at him but replied. “Not a lot after that. Bottom line is I love her. We’re a lot alike actually.” 

“No, you are not,” he insisted, a little bit of nausea in his face. You knew better than to get offended. “Hey, how did you find this all out in five minutes?” 

You tipped your shoulders. “People feel comfortable around me. They can open up, y’know?” 

He grunted in response, before his eyes widened in horror, thinking of something. “You didn’t tell her I like her, did you?”

“No,” you scoffed. “What do you take me for? An idiot?” The look he gave you was a yes. You rolled your eyes and grabbed him by the shoulders. “You’re going to tell her. Tonight. That’s why I invited her.” 

He swallowed, now looking scared. Talking to girls was never his forte. The last “relationship” he’d had since the big breakup had lasted four weeks. He had a lot to learn. You tapped his back encouragingly and he gave you a tight nod. Damn, maybe he really was about to get his flirty flirt on with this woman. You smiled at him and he looked around the bar one last time, shaking his head with a chuckle as he realised something. “God. You threw me a party at the bar I work at.” 

When would you ever win?! 

.

.

An hour later you were making your way back to the apartment. Hoseok in tow. You wanted to convince yourself it was because you could see the party wasn’t his style at all. You mean, you could see that, but the real reason you were in the elevator right now was because you’d been hit with another, even better idea. In fact, you wished you’d just thought of this first. 

“They’ll be fine back there. They won’t miss you,” you tried to reassure Hoseok, stepping out into the hallway. 

“Gee. That makes me feel so amazing on my birthday. Thank you.” Sarcasm all day, everyday. You didn’t deserve it. “Thank you for gathering a bunch of strangers to celebrate that I am one step closer to death.” 

See? It hadn’t been that hard to get him outside and convince him to walk you home because you were feeling a little lightheaded. It was like taking candy from he baby. Hoseok was dumb. 

“What happened to you?” You glared his way. “The guys always tell me you were so full of life before I moved in.” 

He raised an eyebrow. “I think you’ve answered the question yourself there.” 

You tutted, letting it go over his head. “Thirty is not bad, at all. I turned it a few months ago and I’ve just felt amazing ever since.” 

“You cried all day.” 

Goddamnit. “They were happy tears. Now,” you changed the subject, because yes, he was calling you out, but also he was pulling out his key, about to let himself in. You pushed him to the side, grabbing yours from your purse. “Just let me go do it,” you announced loudly. Almost like you wanted someone to hear you. “Just getting my key. Pushing it in the lock.” You continued the description. “Arriving home!” 

“What are you doing? What’s going on?” He was bound to be suspicious. You weren’t exactly being discreet. 

“Nothing.” You shook your head, now pushing the door open. 

“Nothing? I—

“SURPRISE!” 

Hoseok didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence, door swinging open to reveal the guys. Namjoon pushed forward to slip a ’30 Years Old’ banner over his head, and he had the audacity to glare at you. 

“I specifically said don’t make this birthday a big deal and instead you throw me TWO surprise parties in the span of a couple hours.” He was in disbelief. “Don’t you listen to a word I say?!” 

“This is a better one though.” You whined. “The one I originally should’ve planned. It’s just friends.” 

“Hi again,” a little voice sounded from behind Namjoon. 

“And Nara.” You grinned, watching Hoseok’s face light up a little. “See Nara came. I invited Nara.” Success. Namjoon had followed instructions. Get the woman into the apartment. 

Hoseok finally smiled at you, stepping inside the loft. “Nara came! Hi, Nara!”  You’d take that as his seal of approval then. This place was much better for getting to know her. He’d failed miserably at the bar, you wouldn’t allow it here. You were going to play matchmaker tonight. 

“Baby!” 

The sound of Seokjin’s voice in the hall distracted you, and you shrieked a little when you saw him walking towards you, dressed in all black. “Yay, Seokjin! You made it.” He hugged you straight away, landing a kiss on your lips. 

“We managed to get someone else in for the night. I escaped.” He cheered, still holding your waist as he turned his head towards Hoseok. “Happy Birthday, man.” 

“Thanks, Jin,” he smiled, before shooting a misplaced compliment. “You’re looking very handsome. As always.” 

You rolled your eyes, laughing a little as Seokjin pulled a confused face at you. “Ignore him, he’s already a little buzzed.” You still didn’t understand Hoseok’s obsession with your boyfriend’s looks. But the guy wasn’t wrong, Seokjin did indeed look very handsome tonight. As always. 

You glanced around the room, Yoongi and Joy had managed to put up some balloons and a banner in record time after you’d frantically text them the plan half an hour ago. Alcohol stood on the dining table, a few snacks in bowls. Definitely Joy’s doing. You clapped your hands. “Music please! Let’s get this party started!” 

The room erupted into cheers. 

.

.

“Okay, I have an idea,” you yelled into the room. It was over an hour in now. This party was popping, much better than the one happening in bar you bet. You were drunk. Not wasted or anything, but definitely merry. “Let’s play spin the bottle!” 

You’d already played Pass the Balloon, thinking of games from when you were a teenager in desperation as you tried to hook Hoseok and Nara up. The balloon one was going well until Namjoon and her had found themselves in some difficulty. Then it was just a wasted ten minutes as you watched them fail to give in. At least Joon was having fun though, it had been a while since you’d seen him have fun, let alone laugh. 

“We’re not in high school,” Hoseok grumbled from beside you.

Nara piped up from the kitchen. “I think’ll be fun.” 

“Yeah. Yeah. Cool.” Hoseok soon changed his tune. “I think it’ll be fun too. Cool.” 

“Great!” You took the bottle Seokjin had been drinking from and swigged the last bit much to his amusement. You hadn’t told him what you were up to yet, but he was going along with your crazy ideas anyway. He always watched you with fondness, which was sweet considering he also called you the wackiest person he knew. 

“Everyone, get in a circle and sit!” You ordered. They listened. You grabbed Hoseok just before he took off. “You, come here.” Dragging him out into the hall that lead to your bedrooms you tried your best to whisper. “Sit next to Nara.” 

“Huh?” 

God. Was he dumb? “I’m helping you here. Setting you up.” 

“I don’t need you to,” he exasperated. “I got this.” 

You knew for a fact he didn’t “got this”. “It’ll be your turn first, birthday boy n’ all.” You carried on like you hadn’t heard him. “Spin it ever so slightly.” 

“That’s so obvious.” 

“You want to make it obvious.” 

He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Fine.” 

You smiled in triumph, grabbing him by the arm. “Remember: ever so slightly!” And with that you dragged him towards the circle. You were pretty feisty when you needed to be. 

“It’s Hobi’s turn first because he’s the birthday boy,” you told everyone as you pushed him down between Nara and Joy. You sat to Nara’s left; convenient to keep an eye on everything, plus you were next to Seokjin too.   

“It’s so cute how you call him Hobi,” Nara commented, leaning into you with a smile. 

“Oh, really?” You were a little caught off guard. “Everyone calls him that. No big deal.” You tried to think if that was true… You must’ve heard it from somewhere else why would you have started calling him that…?

“Are there rules?” Joy asked. 

“Yes! Rules!” You suddenly realised. You racked your brains. Hoseok and Nara couldn’t kiss in front of everyone. That would just be odd. Hm, maybe this was too obvious. “Whoever the bottle lands on, that’s who you kiss! But there’s a twist. It has to be in my closet.” 

“You got cameras in there or something?” Namjoon piped up, Nara laughed loudly. 

“No,” you said slowly. “Because it’s the biggest. You can’t come out until the deed is done.” 

“Isn’t that like seven minutes in heaven?” Yoongi asked. 

“Yoongi, just shut up and listen.” Why couldn’t people just be excited? You were trying to hook up their friend! “It’s not like that because I don’t want people having sex in my closet.” You nudged Nara and giggled. She slowly laughed back, a little confused. You caught Hoseok shooting you a look but ignored him.

“Kissing only,” you continued. “And we need photographic evidence.”

“What?” Hoseok sounded like he was about to run off any moment. 

“Just a quick pic,” you shrugged. If truth be told, you wanted Hoseok to have the memory of when you set him up with the girl of his dreams forever. That way he could always thank you. 

“Is the guy to girl ratio a little skewed?” Yoongi pointed out. “I’m not kissing Joon.” 

You ignored him. “TONGUES.” You shouted instead, clapping your hands. “Almost forgot to specify: tongues!” 

“I’m not tonguing anyone bar my girlfriend.” Yoongi was adamant. 

“Whatever.” You sighed. Didn’t he realise this wasn’t about him? You didn’t care who he tongued or didn’t tongue. It was about who Hoseok tongued! 

You stretched over and handed the bottle to him. “Hoseok, spin.” You were careful not to use your, no, the, nickname. There was nothing cute about it. 

“Okay. Kinda nervous.” He was practically shouting. If this was his way of trying to sound casual, he was failing. “Don’t want to mess it up.” Thinking about it, this was a very stupid idea. He was about to spin a bottle four inches to the left. You watched feeling a little sick. 

The sick feeling turned to one of horror in a nanosecond. You watched in slow motion as the bottle passed Nara. It wasn’t four inches, it was eight. He’d landed on you. 

“No.” Hoseok spoke into the room. The denial was strong. “No. No. Nope. No.” 

You could hear the room cheering. Yoongi laughing, saying something about how amazing this was. The game had backfired on you. But in truth you weren’t really listening, too busy having a minor breakdown. 

You looked at a Hoseok. “No.” He said it back. You looked around at everyone else, eyes wide. In denial and begging for someone to say you didn’t have to do it. “No. No. HA,” you forced a laugh. “I have a boyfriend. I can’t kiss anyone else.” 

“If you were going to make me kiss Joon, you’re kissing Hoseok.” 

“Baby, it’s just a game,” Seokjin chuckled, hooking his arm around your shoulders. “It’s fine.” 

“No.” You were adamant. “I would call that cheating. Wouldn’t you?” 

“I would.” Hoseok piped up. At least someone was on your side. No one listened to him. 

“Relax.” Seokjin rubbed the back of your neck. “Come here.” He dipped his head, capturing your mouth in a soft kiss before pulling away and winking. “That’s to remember me. Now get on in there!” 

The guy physically hauled you up. You perfect boyfriend had no problem with this. Damn him. Damn him for being so reasonable and laid back. Yoongi made a beeline for Hoseok. The glee on his face was pretty frightening. 

“To the closest! To the closet! To the closet!” The chanting wasn’t necessary, but it happened any way. Frog marched into your bedroom and pushed into the closet. Surrounded in pitch black before you reached for the light switch. 

“You overshot it,” you hissed. 

“I was under pressure!” Yelling in whispers was hard. “You do not know how stressful it was!” 

You groaned, rubbing your hands all over your face. “Don’t do that you look like The Scream.” Hoseok commented.

You shot him a look before stomping your feet and pointing a finger at him. “I can’t believe this. You were supposed to be in here with Nara!” 

“Why the hell did you sit next to her?” 

“I don’t know. To keep an eye on you!” In hindsight it was a very bad idea, but what would have happened if you hadn’t? Hoseok would be in here with Seokjin? That was even more weird! 

“You guys kissing yet?” Yoongi asked through the door. You could almost see his Lenny face. 

“Oh, god,” Hoseok muttered. He sounded faint. 

“Yeah. We did it!” You yelled back. You were getting you both out of here. “Was super wet. Hoseok has a freakishly long tongue. Yuck.” 

“Hey. No, I don’t.” 

“Send the pic. Did you take a pic?” Yoongi sounded way too excited. 

Shit. The stupid picture?! Why did you even come up with that rule… “Oh, would you look at that. I didn’t hit the button. Oh well, doesn’t matter,” you shrugged, moving to turn the door handle. It didn’t budge. Almost like someone was holding it shut. “Hey, let us out!!” You yelled. 

“No evidence, no escaping.” That was Namjoon. He sounded overly amused. 

“Namjoon!” You shrieked in surprise. You twisted and tugged on the handle, hoping you he would relent, give up so you could get the hell out of here. “Let us out. Let us out! I’m claustrophobic!”

“Kiss and take the pic!” Joy shouted. 

Joy?! That was it! Friendship over. Come to think of it, where was Seokjin? Maybe you could appeal to him. He’d give in surely. You were about to open your mouth when fresh chanting started. “KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!” It was so loud you swear you’d wake up with a noise compliant. But more importantly, you could hear Seokjin’s voice along with the rest. Goddamnit. You were really going to have to kiss Hoseok. 

You turned back to him, defeat on your face. He’d been oddly quiet since you’d tried escaping. “Let’s just do it,” he shrugged. 

“What?” You mean, you’d been planning on saying the same thing, but you’d thought it would take some cajoling. 

“Get your phone out. Let’s just get it over with,” he told you. “You want to get out of here, right?” 

“Okay.” You nodded, telling yourself it would be fine. “Yeah, we’ll just kiss. It’s no biggie.” 

“Nope, no biggie.” He stepped closer. You were suddenly sweating. It was really hot in here and you swear the floor was shaking because of how rowdy they were being outside. 

“Hey, remember when I saw your boob that one time?” Hoseok laughed. “It popped right out of your towel when you were talking to me as I brushed my teeth.” He made a popping sound to emphasise, his hand flopping from his chest in an unnecessary reenactment

That had actually been particularly mortifying for you. Especially seeing as it was only a month into living with the guys and you’d just flashed a boob accidentally. “What does that have to do with anything?” 

He looked at you, releasing his mistake. “It doesn’t. Just if I’ve seen your boob, I can kiss you.” There was no correlation at all. You wanted to point that out but now he was a few inches from your face. You were going crosseyed trying to look at him. “Okay, let’s do this,” he murmured. 

“Ew. What did you just do?” You startled, stepping back. 

“Huh?” 

“You licked your lips.” He’d licked his lips and moved forward. He was about to put his wet ones on your normal ones. 

“Of course I did. Do you want dry lips?” 

“Yes! I want dry lips,” you insisted. 

He pulled a face, more than puzzled. “These things can get pretty chapped, but ok.” Before you could say anything else he had his hands on your face, lunging closer with his eyes closed. 

“No. No.” You ducked from his grip, darting to the other side of the closet. Had it always been that small in here? You used to think it was massive. 

Hoseok sighed. “What now?” 

“You cupped my face. You did this thing with your eyes.” 

“What, closed them?!” 

“Don’t kiss me with your eyes closed.” 

“So you want to be staring at each other the whole time?” He thought you were crazy. Could tell by the tone of his voice. He exhaled, voice calmer when he spoke again. “You don’t want to kiss me, do you?” 

“Of course I don’t. It’s weird as hell.” You caught the look on his face. “Oh, come on. You cannot be offended. Does the idea of kissing me not gross you out?” 

“No, it doesn’t gross me out. That’s a bit drastic.” 

God, he was not guilt tripping you right now. It worked anyway. “Fine! Let’s kiss.” He looked startled, probably feeling dizzy by your back and forth. “C’mon. Kiss me, Jung.” He didn’t budge. You started chanting. It was the only way. “Kiss me! Kiss me! Kiss me!” 

“Ok, okay.” He yelled over you. “Shut the hell up.” You continued. You always did like pissing him off. 

In a split second he was in front of you. “Come here.” His cupped your face again and you instantly shut up. Your eyes were locked on his, and in this pretty dismal lighting he looked beautiful. It made your insides feel funny. For a moment there you caught yourself puckering. You caught yourself actually wanting to kiss him, and then in the blink of an eye it was gone. Almost like it never happened. He murmured your name and pulled away, shaking his head 

“What?” 

“I can’t do this,” he admitted. “It’s too weird.” 

“Ha! See!” You were triumphant. “It is weird!” 

He shook his head again, chuckling quietly. “No, I mean… This is not how it’s supposed to go.” 

“What?” There was silence. He didn’t try to elaborate. “Supposed to go?” No matter how much you tried to make sense of that, nothing worked. “How’s it supposed to go, Hoseok?” 

“Forget it. I didn’t say anything,” he tried to backtrack. “It came out wrong.” 

“Hoseok.” He didn’t tell you. He just stared at you, unable or unwilling. “Hobi—p”

“You guys win.” You were interrupted as the door burst open, Yoongi grumbling like a giant baby. 

You blinked rapidly, not used to the bright lights. Everything felt a little weird, like you’d been in that closest for years. You walked out first, not looking behind you. You felt a little shaken up. You couldn’t explain why. 

Seokjin wrapped his arms around your shoulders and laughed. “We were sick of waiting.” He smelt of beer and his eyes were unfocused. You hadn’t realised before but he was drunk. Way more than you were. 

“Get back in the circle,” Namjoon ordered, leading the way. God, this game was still going to continue? You’d all be here until tomorrow morning. “You guys are spoilsports.” 

“What’s a little kissing among friends?” Yoongi piped up, which was rich coming from him. “Okay, Nara’s turn,” he said once everyone had gotten back into place. She took the bottle eagerly. “Spin it, girl!” 

You all watched it go. You totally forgot to pray it landed on Hoseok until it was too late. The room erupted into cheers and wolf whistles as it stopped and your heart sunk. 

“NAMJOON!!” Yoongi yelled. “Get it, Kim!” 

You shot Hoseok an apologetic look. 

.

.

“Hey.” You said, stopping by the sofa where Hoseok sat. “I’m sorry about tonight.”

It was a fewhours later, the party was over and you were in your pyjamas ready for bed. Seokjin was already tucked up on his side and you’d just gone to get a glass of water. You didn’t want a headache in the morning. You were surprised to see Hoseok still awake and in the living room. 

He shook his head, laughing a little. “It’s fine. I actually kinda enjoyed it in a strange way.” 

“You did?” 

“Yup. What better way to see 30 in. Trapped in a closet with you.” 

You laughed at his silliness, making your way over to the sink to fill up your glass. You gulped the water down, thinking to yourself. You didn’t care if he was just trying to make you feel better. You were still relieved he hadn’t totally hated it. There were worse people to be stuck in a closet with. You hoped. 

As you placed the now empty glass down a faint banging appeared. Like something hitting against a wall. It got louder and then slowed away. “What’s that?” You asked Hoseok, turning around and genuinely puzzled. 

“Oh, that,” Hoseok chuckled. “That’s Namjoon and Nara. He’s giving it to her good. Real good.” 

Your mouth dropped open, just as the banging re-emerged. Yes, it was definitely coming from his room. His headboard. Then the guilt kicked in. “Oh my god. Hobi, I’m so sorry.” How had this happened? How had you not seen the signs? It was pretty obvious now, thinking back, Nara had been totally into Namjoon. All that hushed talking, giggling and touching. The game of spin the bottle. That girl had rigged her own spin for it to land on him. Only she’d been a good shot. Hoseok on the other hand… 

Hoseok raised his hand, brushing your apologies away. “He asked for permission. He needs this.” Maybe so. This was the first woman Joon had shown an interest in after Sookie. Hoseok was too understanding.  “Besides, I oddly don’t care.” 

Or maybe not. 

“You don’t?” You instantly kicked yourself for prying. Prying and being nosey had been the downfall of this night. Yet here you were itching for more info. 

“Yeah, I just…” He trailed off and shrugged. “Maybe I don’t like Nara that much. It was just a stupid crush. No big deal.” 

You didn’t know what to say. You wanted to ask what made him change his mind so suddenly? Made him realise? But that seemed inappropriate. You nodded instead, letting him know you got it, and turned to leave. “Goodnight.” 

“Wait,” he called. “Hold up.” He jumped up and you turned to face him again, waiting like he’d asked. “I want to say sorry too. I made that weird. The game.”

“Oh.” The closet. The awkwardness had slowly disappeared through the night and now you had a sickly feeling it was about to come back. If the look on his face was anything to go by. 

“What I meant was,” he was talking slow, a little stunted. “If I was ever going to kiss you, it wouldn’t be like that. Because of some stupid game.” 

His words took a moment to process. Perhaps you had another hundred questions to ask but they seemed impossible. You should just take what he said and accept it. The game was over and you’d never play it again. You’d never get in a closet with him again. You felt strange, but you didn’t admit that. Instead you smiled. “Okay.” 

That feeling was creeping back. The one from the closet, when he’d been holding your face and staring into your eyes. The one where he’d looked so good under that weird yellow light. Hoseok was handsome, you’d always thought so, but in a way where you’d never actually thought of it, if that made sense… In that closet, you’d thought it. 

“Come on, I’ll walk with you,” he told you, interrupting the butterflies in your stomach. You walked side by side, down the corridor. Your rooms were directly opposite one another. Had you pointed that out before?  

You stopped when he did, forcing yourself to say something. It was just Hoseok. You talked to him all the time. You yelled at him all the time. And laughed, and fooled around. He was your friend. “I promise I’ll make next year’s birthday better.” 

He smiled gently, head tilted, voice soft. “You don’t have to promise me anything. Night.” 

“Goodnight, Hobi.” 

You made to turn, hand nearly on the door handle, but then he pulled you back. One hand reaching for yours, the other curling around your waist. Your mouths met in such a rush you didn’t realise until you felt the warmth of his tongue. It was passionate and eager. The kind of kiss you see in the movies, where no one comes up for air, where their bodies move on their own accord. 

There were no thoughts, just feelings. The feeling of how good this was, and how much it took your breath away. The feeling of his lips on yours and how you should’ve been feeling them a long time ago. The feeling of his arms wrapped around your waist, clutching you tight, and yours around his shoulders, holding him close. 

When you finally pulled away, no choice but to, you were trembling. Boneless. Hs breath fanned across your face and you were sad. You wanted more. You wanted to kiss him all night. Slowly, more deliberately, you pushed your lips against his, savouring the feel. He kissed you back just as softly before breaking away for good. 

“That’s how it would go,” he murmured. He was breathing heavily. “How I imagined it to be.”

And that he was gone. To his room, door shut. 

You stood there dazed, lips tingling and you brought your fingers out to touch them. There was silence all around you, and slowly, the haze began to lift. In its wake brought panic and guilt. Seokjin. Your boyfriend was asleep just behind the door.

What had you done? 

You got hardly any sleep. Your brain wouldn’t switch off. The guilt twisting your gut, even more so when you kept thinking of the kiss and how good it was, and how short lived it was. Seokjin centimetres away from you, clueless. You rose early. Everyone else was still asleep, the loft silent. Still in your pyjamas you poured yourself some cereal and sat on at the counter, munching away sombrely. 

Hoseok was the first to wake up. Of course. You should’ve just stayed inside your room, but you couldn’t bear to be near Seokjin. He strolled into the living room casually, making his way to the kitchen. You tried to ignore the way your stomach flipped because you didn’t know what it meant. Were you angry, panicked, something else? 

“Good morning.” He greeted casually. 

Angry. You were angry. It rushed up your body. How dare he be so casual. As if nothing had happened. “Seriously? Good morning?” You retorted. He was making himself a coffee. “What’s good about it, Hoseok? You kissed me last night!” 

He gave a little shrug. “I know I did.” 

You were flabbergasted by his gall. Had to force yourself to continue. “Well,” you stared at him. “Aren’t you going to explain yourself?” 

“I already did.” He spoke simply. “I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to show you how I would kiss you.” 

Nope. You weren’t feeling guilty over this any longer. Not when he was acting so unfazed. He was the one who had kissed you. This was his doing. And he didn’t care at all. “To what? Prove a point?” You demanded. 

He scoffed, dropping a teaspoon into the sink. “No, not to prove a point.” He turned to face you, back leaning against the counter. “I wanted to kiss you.” 

Your mind was beginning to reel. “I have a BOYFRIEND,” you said slowly, unable to keep a lid on your anger. “Who I had to sleep next to last night.” 

Right on cue, Seokjin came from around the corner, still half asleep and rubbing his eyes. You froze, feeling instantly sick. You hope he hadn’t heard anything. 

He hadn’t. He smiled when he saw you both, making his way over. “Morning, guys.” 

“Seokjin, hey,” you breathed, feeling a little trembly. You pushed your bowl away, not hungry now. You caught Hoseok’s eyes. 

“Morning,” he nodded, turning to look at Seokjin but averting his gaze. 

Seokjin leant down and kissed your cheek, rubbing your shoulder. “Did you sleep at all last night? You were tossing and turning like crazy.” 

You felt yourself panicking. You needed to cool it. “Ah, I think I was still pumped from the party.” You laughed lightly. 

Seokjin joined in. “You guys sure do know how to have fun. I think I’ve drunk more in these past two months than I have in my entire life.” You heard Hoseok gave the lamest laugh back. It sounded more like a scoff and you shot him a look.  

“Hey, wanna go to the zoo today?” Seokjin suggested. You’d been on about going for weeks now just hadn’t gotten around to it. “I’m not due at the hospital until tonight.” 

You forced yourself to smile. Hoped it seemed natural. “I’d love to.” 

“Perfect,” he grinned, reaching to kiss your lips. They twinged, and you remembered the feeling of Hoseok’s mouth. You were also very aware he was a witness to all this. You pulled back quickly. “Wanna shower first?” Seokjin asked. 

“No, it’s okay. You go.” 

You couldn’t bear them to be alone together. Hoseok was acting weird, you didn’t trust him not to tell Seokjin. As it would have it though, by the time you looked across at the counter, Hoseok was gone, already walking off back to his room. 

.

.

“What’s wrong?” You asked Seokjin as you made your way into your room. You’d showered straight after him. Gotten dressed in the bathroom because you did not fancy bumping into Hoseok wrapped in a towel. Even though you had many a time. 

Seokjin looked a little sad, you could tell by his face straight away something was up, and  delayed, you felt dread begin prick at your spine. What if Hoseok had told him? 

“Bad news. They need me at the hospital.” He sounded guilty that he had to let you down. 

While you felt instant relief. He didn’t know about the kiss and your guilty conscious was happy you wouldn’t have to spend all day together. You felt terrible at the realisation. Maybe you should just tell him what happened. But… not like this. Not today. You were a serial put-er off-er.

“That’s okay, it can’t be helped,” you told him, making your way over to the bed where he sat perched on. You rubbed his shoulder. You both liked doing that to one another. Thinking that made you sad. “I feel bad for you though. You haven’t had a proper day off in weeks.” 

It was true, Seokjin worked harder than any person you’d met before. You didn’t know how he did it. More sadness filled you. You couldn’t explain why. This time it wasn’t the guilt over the kiss, but something else. Everything had changed. 

“You’re cute,” he smiled. “I’ll be fine. Always am.” Those words stuck with you. “I’m sad we can’t go to the zoo. Rain check?” 

“Rain check,” you nodded, smiling slightly. 

“What will you do instead today?” He asked, before chuckling. “Hoseok’s here all day. Keep him company.” 

Your eyes widened. “You’ve been talking to Hob–Hoseok?” Damn that nickname. He didn’t deserve to be called Hobi. 

“Yeah, while you were in the shower.” 

Change the subject. “I think I may hang out with Joy.” It was the weekend after all, and Yoongi had work this afternoon and then he was going out for drinks with some coworkers. Joy would be free. “We can have a girly day. I could stay over maybe.” You were babbling. Trying to make this believable even though it wasn’t a lie. “Face masks, pillow fights, all that sleepover stuff.” 

Seokjin looked at you funny and laughed affectionately. “You’re really trying to relive your high school years, aren’t you? You’re cute,” he repeated. He always called you cute. He wrapped his arms around you waist, pulling you a little closer. “—and weird. That’s why I like you.” 

Yes. Sometimes you did think you were a little bit “too much” for Seokjin, but he always seemed so endeared by you. Usually this kind of talk made you happy, but you felt strange inside. Like everything was slowly dying. Seokjin kissed you, it didn’t bring you back to life.    “I’ll see you tomorrow night. Promise I’ll be free.” 

You forced yourself to smile. Any more and your lips would start aching. “Can’t wait.” 

He rubbed his nose against yours, voice low. “You can come over. Maybe we can play seven minutes in heaven…” 

You giggled, but in your mind you couldn’t stop thinking about your kiss with Hoseok. 

.

.

“Hoseok kissed me last night.” 

It was a few hours later, not even twenty four after the kiss, and you were finally telling someone about it. You weren’t built to keep secrets. Joy knew that. She knew you the best out of anyone. She’d been your best friend for over twenty years. That’s why it was her you told. Curled up on her sofa you blurted it out. No lead up, no ‘Hey, can I tell you something?’ Just straight out with it. 

She turned her attention away from the television, a look of confusion spread all over her face. “During the game or?” 

You breathed out. “After. Once everyone had gone home.” 

Her eyes widened, but she spoke slowly, as if she was trying really hard to understand. “I’m confused. Was it a drunk thing?” 

“I don’t know why he did it,” you admitted. If you had a solid answer maybe you could get your head around it more. “He said he wanted to show me how our first kiss would go.” 

“Hold up.” Now Joy had come to life. Still in shock, but needing explanations. “He imagined a first kiss? Does he like you?” 

“No,” you exclaimed, pulling a disgusted face. “It’s Hoseok. Me and Hoseok.” 

“Do you like him?” 

Was she crazy? “No.” But that sounded too mean. “Yes. I mean, of course I like him, he’s my friend.”

“Christ. He kissed you,” she muttered, shaking her head a little in disbelief. 

“I kissed him back.” Had you left out that minor detail? It was all very well saying Hoseok kissed you, but you’d let him, and you’d kissed him back just as hard. The memory had your insides feeling funny again. 

Joy looked a little in stunned. You didn’t blame her. You and Hoseok kissing? His mouth on yours, his hands on your body, his tongue in your mouth… You needed a cold shower. Where was your guilt now?! 

“What was it like?” She asked hesitantly. Curious. 

“Really good.” You couldn’t lie. And you couldn’t keep the truth in. You just needed to be honest with yourself. “I’m so confused. Joy, I cant stop thinking about it. I’m so mad at him but it was just so… It was just so hot. But out of this world. Like, I saw through time and space, and it was Hoseok doing it!” In what world did that seem realistic? He was your friend! 

“Damn, Hoseok has game.” Joy sounded half impressed. 

You sighed sadly. “I think it was the best kiss of my life but it can’t be because…” There she was. The guilt. She settled in your stomach, heavy and sickly. “Seokjin. I have a boyfriend. One who I’ve liked for the longest time.” 

You remembered how much you wanted to make it work with him while things were still just a hook up and how heartbroken you’d been when he’d told you he couldn’t give you that. How confused and kind of mad you were when he found you again and confessed his feelings and how happy you’d been when you’d given him another chance. When Hoseok had encouraged you to give it a try. Nothing made sense. Everything had changed after one kiss.  

“Are you going to tell him?” Joy asked. 

“I don’t know. I was going to forget the kiss ever happened but I don’t think I can do that,” you admitted. Seokjin deserved the truth, but selfishly, more than that, you couldn’t live like this, so conflicted. It wasn’t black and white. You’d kissed Hoseok back. 

“Just think it through, okay?” She told you gently. “If you tell him it’ll make things awkward. You’re friends with Hoseok. You live with Hoseok.” 

You didn’t think Joy got it. You didn’t think you got it. You couldn’t forget about the kiss. That’s why you had to tell Seokjin. “No, I should tell him.” Your voice was a little shaky. “I kissed Hoseok back. It wouldn’t be fair to blame it all on him. Seokjin needs to know.” 

.

.

You slipped through the door, trying to be as quiet as possible. You turned left, towards your bedroom and began creeping. It was past midnight but you still wanted to go as undetected as possible, praying Namjoon and Hoseok were in their rooms already. 

“Hey.” You winced when you heard Hoseok’s voice, freezing. “I was waiting up for you. Where were you all day?” 

You turned back slowly, trying to make your voice sound as neutral as possible. If truth be told, the last person you wanted to have a conversation with right now was him. “At Joy’s. I was going to stay over but Yoongi got drunk and she had to pick him up.” 

“You were going to stay over because of me?” He asked. You stayed silent and he sighed your name. “Look, I’m really sorry I did this. Made things awkward between us. It’s the last thing I want.” 

Your jaw tightened in anger. Then why the hell had he kissed you? “I don’t feel awkward. Do you feel awkward?” 

“I feel a little awkward.” He admitted, hands in his pockets. You stayed a few feet apart. “You left the house all day to avoid me.” 

“I’m not feeling awkward. I’m feeling…mad.” 

“Mad?” He had the cheek to sound surprised. “At me?” 

“You kissed me when I have a boyfriend.” You explained like you had to. “Did you not think of the consequences?”

He lowered his head, sheepish, yet he still didn’t apologise. “Are you going to tell him?” He asked instead. “Just don’t.” 

“What?” Your voice was low, anger rising. 

Hoseok shrugged. “Just forget it ever happened.” 

“Forget it ever happened?!” You exclaimed. “I can’t.” You shook your head, the memory of the kiss pushing its way back into your head. No. That wasn’t why. “I can’t lie to him. You’re asking me to lie to him?” 

“It’s not lying, it’s just not telling him something happened. He’s oblivious to it anyways.” 

“What the hell?” You couldn’t begin to explain why you felt so frustrated. So offended. “I can’t do this.” You voice shook. You were blowing up. “I was happy before last night. Like really happy, and now everything is ruined because you kissed me!” He stayed silent. You couldn’t read his expression. 

“Like jeez,” you laughed in frustration. “It doesn’t make sense, Hoseok. You were encouraging me to give him another chance and now what, you like me?” You mocked, instantly regretting it by the way his face fell. 

“Is that funny to you?” He scoffed. “Is the possibility I like you so hilarious you feel the need to laugh in my face?” Oh no. “Or are you laughing because it seems so crazy? Impossible?” 

You could feel the dread prickling your skin, but all you could do was watch him in horror. “I like you.” The way he said your name afterwards made something inside of you long. You pushed it away, because otherwise your legs might give way from under you. 

“I like you a lot. Way more than a friend and I don’t know for how long.” 

You couldn’t speak. Just watched him struggle to find the right words himself. “It-It’s just one of those things. You came into my life like a bulldozer and I kept thinking, how had I gone through nearly thirty years of my life not knowing you?” He scoffed. “It sounds stupid, but it’s true. Slowly I just began thinking maybe one day it’ll be our chance. It wasn’t urgent. Just kinda there in my subconscious. Most of the time I didn’t even think about it.” He shrugged. “I was okay with waiting. Okay with watching you date other guys because it wasn’t our turn yet. One day,” he sighed. “One day it would be, and I’d get to kiss you like last night.” 

The kiss was back behind your eyes. The feeling of his lips, the taste of his mouth. The touch of his body. For some reason you were angry. 

“That game messed it all up and I’m sorry for that, but I’m not sorry for kissing you. I won’t apologise for that.” 

“No.” You finally said something. It was final, but your voice shook. “No. You can’t be doing this right now, Hoseok.” You pointed at him, accusing him. “I’m happy. For the first time in a long time I was happy. I like Seokjin. He’s the first guy I’ve really felt something with since Seungwoo. Do you know how important that is?” He should understand that more than anyone, with what happened with Minah. 

“You expect me to throw it all away because one day you see yourself with me? One day?!” You were a goddamn after thought. One of those pacts friends made. If we’re still single at 40 we’ll get married. Was that what you were to him? You blinked away frustrated tears. He was one of your best friends and that’s how he saw you? 

“Oh, please,” he sneered. He sounded hurt, but mad. You’d never seen him angry before. You hated it. You’d bickered many times, but never to this level. “You’re always choosing shitty men.” 

“You’ve known me for a year!” 

“Yeah, and in that time it hasn’t been great,” he scoffed. You thought of the handful of men Hoseok had witnessed you date and cringed. He was judging you. Two could play at that game. Childish or not. 

“Oh, and you have such a great taste in woman. If I remember correctly, one robbed you after you slept with her!” 

“That could’ve happened to anyone!” 

Whatever. “Seokjin is not a shitty man!” He was kind, and sweet, and probably way too good for you. 

“You were his fuck buddy for weeks and when you told him you had feelings for him he ran away only to come back with his tail between his legs. He had his chance and he blew it. You deserve better.” 

“You were the one who told me to go for it!” You exasperated. He wasn’t making sense. He was the one who encouraged you to give Seokjin a second chance. Without Hoseok, you wouldn’t be together right now. 

“I regret that now. What more do you want me to say?” 

Really? You stared at him. “I want you to say you don’t know anything.” 

“I don’t know anything?” 

“Yes, you don’t know anything about anything.” He just said things, did things, without thinking of the consequences. He was thoughtless. “Seokjin might’ve been the one, but now it’s all ruined!” 

“He’s not.” 

Fuck him. He sounded so sure. What did he know? “It’s ruined because of you!” You shouted in frustration. “I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what to feel.” All you could remember was the kiss. “I was happy and now I’m not.” 

“Well I’m sorry for making you unhappy,” he sighed. “That’s what I do.” He threw his hands into the air and laughed bitterly. “I’m sorry for thinking me and you could be something great. I’m sorry for not having my life together. Not being rich, or for not being devilishly handsome—which I may add,” he shot, “is freaky. No man should be that beautiful!” 

For god’s sake. What was he trying to do now? Guilt trip you? “What are you going on about? Those are your insecurities. I don’t care about all that stuff.” Was he trying to say you were shallow? 

“Of course you do,” he insisted. “Seokjin has it all. What do I have? Nothing. I’m 30 and work at a bar. I dropped out of law school and forget to shower some days. I don’t own my own home. I live in a loft with two other guys and you.” 

You? Why did he say it like that? For someone who supposedly liked you he wasn’t doing a good job of showing it. From the seems of things he didn’t like you. 

“Do yourself a favour and just don’t tell him. Forget about me and be happy. Fall in love with him, marry him, have tons of super pretty babies.” 

Jaw tight, you sneered. “This is why we wouldn’t work out.” You told him. “You’re childish.” He wasn’t relationship material. He wasn’t what you were looking for. “You’re selfish. You’re mean.” 

He scoffed. “I’m mean?” 

Your bottom lip wobbled, eyes filling up. “Yeah, you really are.” And then you stormed off. Down the hall and into your room. Just in time to hide the tears that slipped down your cheeks. He couldn’t see you cry. He couldn’t see he’d gotten to you. 

He yelled your name, calling you back, sounding regretful, but you didn’t listen and he didn’t follow you. 

The next morning you didn’t see Hoseok at all. He was either in his room when you finally emerged from yours, or he was already at the bar. You were thankful either way. You didn’t think you could handle facing him. You were still so mad, but more than that you were upset. Confused. 

You showered and got ready with a struggle. Forced yourself to go grocery shopping even though you had no appetite for food, and then you just tried to keep yourself distracted. You caught up with some marking that needed to be done by tomorrow, meal prepped for lunches and tried to seem normal around Namjoon who was milling about the loft too. Then Seokjin messaged your asking if you still wanted to hang out this evening. You replied yes with a heavy heart. 

On your way there you’d convinced yourself that you weren’t going to tell him. Yes, you had kissed Hoseok back, but he was the one that had made the move. You could forget about it with time. You could be happy with Seokjin again. Your guilty conscience would go. 

But sitting with him on the sofa, his arm looped around your shoulders and his soft laugh rumbling in your ears every time something funny happened in the movie you were watching, you realised something. The only reason you didn’t want to tell him was because you wanted to spite Hoseok. You were being selfish. The same thing you’d accused Hoseok of last night. 

Seokjin deserved to now, whatever the outcome. For him, for you, for Hoseok… 

“I kissed Hoseok.” 

It didn’t sound like your voice, but you’d said it. 

You felt Seokjin move and you automatically wriggled out from under his arm. He paused the movie, looking back at you with a bemused expression. “You kissed him?” He laughed slightly. “Why didn’t time say? We would’ve left you out sooner.” 

He’d mistaken what you meant. Just like Joy. You closed your eyes softly, sadness filling you. You wanted to say yes, in the game more than anything, just not to hurt him, but that wasn’t the truth. You’d kissed Hoseok off your own back and you’d enjoyed it. “No,” you said softly. “We kissed after the party. Later on when I went to get some water. He kissed me, but I kissed him back.” You didn’t take a moment to pause, needing it all to be out. 

Seokjin was silent as he absorbed the information. Shocked being a given. Finally he said something. “You kissed him while I was in the loft too? In your bed?” 

When he worded it like that you felt sick. You nodded sadly. “I feel terrible, Seokjin. I do. I just couldn’t not tell you. Hoseok said to forget it ever happened but I… It–We…” You fumbled over your words and took a moment to compose yourself. “We argued last night and I’m just… I’m really confused.” 

Two nights ago everything had changed. You’d been in this perfect new relationship. It had promise, it was going somewhere and you were over the moon. Then the kiss had happened and you hadn’t been able to see a future with Seokjin anymore. No matter how small. 

His face was unreadable as he looked at you. You wanted him to get mad. You wanted him to yell at you and tell you how much of a horrible person you were. You deserved it. But that wasn’t his style. Instead he breathed out some kind of little laugh. “There’s no need to be confused. I get it now. You like Hoseok. Of course you do.” 

You were too surprised to even think about refuting him. Of all the things for him to say, you had not been expecting that. “Seeing you guys together,” he carried on. “You always bicker, get on one another’s nerves, but now I see it.” He chuckled. Sadly amused. “It was chemistry. You two just bounce off one another so well. I don’t know, maybe you’re frustrated too, mad you’re not together.” 

You let his words sink in. Trying to think of every interaction you’d had with Hoseok since you met him. It was pretty much an instant connection. You’d always thought so, but did that really mean… You couldn’t let yourself think here. In front of Seokjin, after you’d just confessed to him. But everything was flooding to the forefront of your brain, and it was hard work trying to stop it. There was no point trying to deny it. Not now. 

“I never wanted to hurt you,” you told him instead. Meaning it sincerely. You hadn’t even realised anything yourself. Not even when it was right in front of you. When Hoseok was telling you he liked you. 

He smiled sadly. “Better for it to happen now, right?” 

“I really care about you, Seokjin. These past few weeks have been amazing. Even before, when we were…” You stopped and shook your head. “You’re the best and I’m really sorry.” You truly did mean that. No matter how lame it sounded. 

“You’re a really great girl, remember that,” he told you. “Maybe if I’d figured out my feelings months ago things would be different, but then again,” he shrugged, “maybe you’re just meant to be with him.” 

Meant to be with him. Hoseok. Were you meant to be with Hoseok? 

Seokjin took you hand and squeezed it gently. “I’m done,” he murmured, his eyes kind but firm. “I don’t want to be second best.” 

.

.

You had déjà vu. You were slipping through the door again. This time you didn’t try to creep into your room though. You made your way into the kitchen, needing a glass of water. Just to take some time for yourself, needing to find some clarity. You found it as soon as your eyes landed on Hoseok walking from the direction of the bathroom. Everything fell into place, began to make sense. 

He stopped dead when he saw you, awkward and probably panicked after last night. “Hey,” you said gently. “Where is everyone?” It was strange for the loft to be so quiet on a Sunday night. 

He cleared his throat. “Namjoon has Nara over, Yoongi‘s still over Joy’s place.” He was already beginning to walk away.  “I’ll be out of your way, just going to bed.” 

You opened your mouth to call him back. You had so much to say, but… But was tonight a good time to start? Your head was still whirring. Sadness and guilt over your breakup with Seokjin but you also felt giddy at the sight of Hoseok. You wanted to say sorry for the argument, for all the things you said, and most of all you wanted to tell him that you—

“Aren’t you supposed be staying with Jin tonight?” Hoseok had stopped, turning back with the afterthought. “Namjoon mentioned it.”  

He didn’t need to explain himself. You didn’t care how he knew. You didn’t care about a lot right now. Only one thing. “He broke up with me,” you replied. “I told him about the kiss and now it’s over.” 

Hoseok’s eyes bulged, visibly shocked. “What? Didn’t you tell him it was my fault?” He walked over to you. There was still a distance but it was a start. “No,” he muttered. “Why would he break up with you? It’s not your fault.”

Sweet, caring Hoseok. You smiled at him, the words that left you almost bubbling into a laugh. “It is.” 

He looked mighty confused. He was probably thinking you’d lost it right now. You hadn’t. You’d only just found it. You took a deep breath. It was now or never. “It’s my fault because I like you too.” 

Silence. He looked stunned. It seemed strange to say it out loud but also sort of invigorating. Nothing made sense in this world, bar one thing. Your feelings for him. You laughed, more words now rushing out. “I really like you. And I don’t know for how long. Maybe from the beginning,” you shrugged, “maybe from the kiss. I don’t know.” 

You’d been trying to pinpoint the exact moment on the ride home. Going through each memory you had with him in an attempt to understand when it happened. There was no real answer. It had snuck up on you, wanted you to be oblivious. And you think that was how it was for him too. Why last night had been so confusing. 

You were mad at him because you liked him too. You were mad at him because you thought he didn’t like you enough. He didn’t like you like he thought he liked you. God, you were a mess. Your thoughts weren’t making sense. What were you trying to say?

“I don’t know,” you repeated. “My head’s a mess and I really have a headache right now.” You rubbed your temples and then remembered something. “I also have a flat tyre. I think I drove over a nail on the way here. I don’t know how I’m going to get to work tomorrow morning.” 

“You could borrow my ca—

“Hobi, I don’t care.” You interrupted, laughing again. You felt funny, like you were floating. It felt good to call him that again. “I don’t care about anything right now, except you.” His eyes flashed at that, something changing on his face. He moved forward, closer to you. The counter was the only thing that separated you now. 

“I don’t understand anything and I’m really confused, but I know one thing,” you insisted, finally giving into the urge that had been raging your body for nearly two days. “I really want to kiss you.” You swallowed, tasting the memory of him. “Again. I can’t stop thinking about the kiss. It was the best kiss of my life.” 

He rounded the counter in the blink of an eye. He’d stayed silent for the majority of your confession, except for offering you his car, the idiot. You almost laughed again; why was he so sweet? Yeah, you would’ve laughed if he didn’t look so irresistible right now. So serious, so desperate, so intense. He was breathing heavily, almost panting, eyes blown black. 

“Can I kiss you now?” His voice was rough, broken with desire. 

You parted your mouth to reply. To say yes, to say please, to almost beg, but his lips were already on yours, hands cupping your face. Hungry, needy, eager. He pushed you against the counter your back was to, and you let out a gasp, maybe more of a moan. He took the opportunity to swipe his tongue against yours. He tasted like toothpaste. You hated spearmint, but now you loved it. 

You grasped him, letting your hands roam over his back. You wanted to touch him, feel him, never let him go. You grabbed the corners of his t-shirt with your fists and pulled him closer. He stumbled forward and your head feel back against one of the overhead cupboards. You didn’t care, clung to his mouth as he tried to pull back and check on you. “Don’t stop,” you whined against his lips. 

He chuckled but it trembled, probably had something to do with the way you were pressing your body into his. He gave up in the end, needing to get his hands on you too. He moved to your waist, hands gripping around the small of your back, holding you tight and pushing just as much into you, because he wanted to feel you against him too. To get as close as possible because there had always been a stupid, unnecessary distance between you. 

You felt hot, a little sweaty and out of breath, unsure how a kiss had got you this wrecked. It was just as good as his birthday—no, better. It was better because now you both knew what you wanted. 

“Hey—I know—this isn’t r-really the–mm–time,” Hoseok was trying to speak but he couldn’t stay away from your lips long enough. Words blurred and getting caught short, but you just kissed him more furiously. “But I really f-feel guilty about—last night. All the–the stuff I said–”

“It’s fine,” you got out, but it was enough to begin distracting you. 

He pulled back successfully, gazing at you, eyes warm and sincere. His breath fanned across your face. “I just feel really bad about all that stuff I said about Seokjin. He’s a good guy, I just—

“Let’s not speak about him now,” you interrupted softly. You took a deep breath, slipping your hands up his sides to rub his back. You were both coming down from that high slowly. 

He sighed weakly. “Yeah, I know, I just,” he paused, struggling, before giving a small shrug. “I was jealous of him.” 

“It’s okay,” you reassured. But now Seokjin was back in your head. The guilt was still there. Of course it wouldn’t go immediately, no matter how understanding he had been. But these emotions were conflicting. Plus, you knew you and Hoseok couldn’t be this simple. There was still so much to talk about. From both of you. 

“We need to talk before anything happens, right?” He read your mind. You smiled and nodded, feeling a little sad. 

And right at that moment a familiar banging appeared again. You caught Hoseok’s eyes and you both burst out laughing. Trust Namjoon to ease the moment.   

Hoseok pulled you upright, wrapping his arms around your waist now in a slight hug. You wrapped yours around his neck and he grinned. “We should go on a date tomorrow. We can talk then.” Your eyes widened. A date? Hoseok didn’t do dates. Not proper ones anyway. 

“I want to to this properly.” Again with the mind reading, you smiled to yourself. “I’ll take you out for dinner and we can, I don’t know, talk about what this means.” 

You grinned, Namjoon’s headboard still hitting the wall. “I’d really love that.” 

You were giddy all day. Couldn’t concentrate in work. You were still replaying last night in your head. After the kiss you’d watched some television together, like you always did on Sunday nights. You sat close, but not entwined, too afraid Namjoon would pop out of his bedroom—hopefully fully clothed. You couldn’t explain why that fear hadn’t been there when Hoseok had your back against the counter, but whatever, you weren’t ready for the weirdness that would unfold, nor the conversations that would need to be had. You hadn’t even talked it out yourselves yet. 

That was for tonight. Hoseok had text you just gone midday to tell you he’d gotten his shift for tonight covered and he’d booked dinner at a restaurant for 8pm. After that it had all felt too real. You were nervous, scared and excited all wrapped up into one. You were going on a date with Hoseok. Your friend Hoseok. The one who you’d bumped into this morning in the kitchen. The one who’d handed you a coffee with a shy good morning because he couldn’t say anything else with Namjoon rummaging around in the fridge next to you, totally oblivious. 

And later on, once you were home, getting ready for the date was a whole new experience all together. You know, living with the guy in question and all. You bumped into one another in the bathroom, brushing your teeth together with awkward giggles. He met you outside of your bedroom once you were dressed, eyes wide, cheeks a little flushed at the sight of you. Maybe the fact you were dressed up for him now turned him speechless. “You look beautiful,” he’d managed to splutter finally. 

He didn’t scrub up too badly himself. He was in a shirt for one. Loose at the neck, no tie, but a shirt nonetheless. And dress pants. Where exactly was he taking you? You didn’t have time to ask because you had to ninja your way out of the loft before you got caught. 

Dinner started off awkwardly at first. Stumbling over words, small talk drying up, lots of nervous laughter, but gradually you both found your groove. How could you not? It was you and Hoseok! All the history and chemistry you had didn’t just disappear because of one date. You were soon giggling together when you noticed a man accidentally walk into the women’s restroom. Childish, yes, but who cared? That’s who you and he were. 

By the main course you were both ready to open up, talk about you guys and what this meant. 

“I’m sorry about yelling the other night,” he apologised, pushing some spinach around his plate absentmindedly. 

You gave a little shrug.  “It’s okay. I’m sorry too. I was mad at myself more than anything.” 

“No,” he shook his head. “You don’t have to do that.” 

“Do what?” 

“Blame yourself.” He looked across at you. “You were mad because I kissed you when you had a boyfriend. I mean, it was a pretty dick-y thing to do and I feel really bad about it.” 

You smiled, that meant a lot to you. It was a complicated situation. The suddenness of it all the sole problem. 

You didn’t want to talk about Seokjin. You didn’t want to compare the two men, even though throughout the day your mind had tried to. In all honestly, both were very different, but both were good men. There was no winner, there was no loser. It just happened that you couldn’t ignore this chance with Hoseok. Not when he had been there first. Maybe looking at it now, you and Seokjin were different kinds of people. Maybe the relationship wasn’t as perfect as you’d thought. Not your perfect anyway. It could’ve worked out yes, but you knew he deserved someone better than you. Someone different to you. 

You realised something at that moment. Seokjin had always found your quirkiness adorable, but Hoseok found it normal. You didn’t know what that meant, but it made sense in your own head. It made you happy. You were here, in front of one another, on a date. Nothing else mattered.  

“If you hadn’t have done it we wouldn’t be here right now.” You told him. It was no good just thinking everything in your head. You needed to tell Hoseok some things. You wanted to tell him how happy you were. “On a dateee.” 

He laughed, relaxing into his chair. “We’re on a date!” 

He couldn’t quite believe it still. You laughed at how cute he was being and looked around. “You chose the fanciest place.” 

“Yeah,” he murmured, looking a little sheepish. “Did I go over the top? Feel like I did.” He stopped and then laughed. “I hope your heels aren’t too high, we gotta run outta here when they fetch the bill.” 

“Hobi,” you whined. He didn’t need to make a joke like that. Then you thought of something else. You hoped he didn’t take you here because he thought you expected it. Any restaurant would’ve done. “Hey,” you said softly. “I hope you don’t still believe all that stuff about you just being a bartender.” He shrugged a little sheepish. “I teach adults how to write fiction and I’m not too hot at it. Half of them are failing.” 

He chuckled at that, picking up his glass of wine. “I think the problem probably lies with them not you.” 

You looked at him, needing him not to laugh this off. You wanted him to see you didn’t care what job he had. “My point is, my job isn’t all that glamorous. It doesn’t have to be.” You thought he liked his job. It should never be used as something to separate you. 

He sighed softly, giving in. “I’m sorry I laid all that stuff on you. They’re my insecurities not yours. It’s just after… Just after the breakup with Minah. The stuff she said to me really stuck.” 

You reached for one of his hands, grasping is fingers. The warmth was all you needed. “I get that.” You still had some insecurities left over from your breakup with Seungwoo, but with Hoseok none of those things mattered. “I’m sorry for calling you childish, and selfish.” 

“And mean. Don’t forget mean,” he joked. 

“And mean.” You looked away sheepishly, before realising you needed to look him in the eyes for this. “I don’t want you to be insecure around me. I like you for you.” 

He chuckled quietly, squeezing your hand. “Thank you.” 

“I think it’s cool that you work at a bar.” You wanted to lighten the moment now, shrugging. “But maybe that’s because of the free drinks you give me.” 

He laughed, both of you pulling your hand back to carry on eating. “I’m actually not allowed to do that, but you’re so pretty how could I not?” 

You felt your cheeks flush at his casual remark. “You think I’m pretty?” 

“Very much so. Plus other things…” 

You smiled shyly. “I find you pretty too. Huh?” You noticed the face he pulled. “Is that not a good thing?” 

“I’m not pretty,” he baffled. 

“Are too.” You insisted. You’d always thought so, especially when he smiled. “I think you’re sexy too. Very sexy.” 

“Oh yeah?” He seemed to like that one better. “What’s so sexy about me?” 

You looked down at his wine. It wasn’t the right alcohol, but it made you remember something. “I like the way you drink beer. You gargle it a little.” 

“I do?” He looked puzzled. 

“Yeah, you do, and I don’t know, it’s kinda hot.” He looked chuffed at that. “What about me?” You added. 

“Hm,” he thought out loud. “It’s not really sexy, maybe a little misogynistic,” he laughed, “but I like when you struggle to open things. Like that bag of chips last week. When you ask for my help, I don’t know, it makes me feel good about myself.” 

It made him feel good when he opened a bag of chips for you? You awed loudly. “That’s so sweet, Hobi.” 

He scoffed, a little embarrassed. “Oh.” He remembered something. “I like when guys mistake me for your boyfriend.” 

You cocked an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? I like that too. And vice versa.” You had never been able to pinpoint why in the past. It was usually gone before you could even try to explain it, but it had still been there. Numerous times. You’d just been clueless. 

“Isn’t this scary?” You asked. It was new and exciting, and you were happy, but it was also weird to be here. Sat opposite your friend, your roommate… the man you had feelings for. The man who up until a few nights ago, had a crush on another woman. No wonder he hadn’t really cared when Namjoon asked if he could bone Nara. And he, well he was sitting opposite you, who up until last night had a boyfriend. Talk about whiplash. This was crazy. 

“It’s the scariest thing I’ve ever done,” he admitted. 

“We’re like best friends, but is it because we’ve always had feelings for one another?” 

Hoseok upturned his shoulders. “I honestly have no clue. It makes sense, but…” 

“But at the same time it doesn’t?” You finished for him. He nodded. If he had never kissed you that night, then this wouldn’t be happening right now. Maybe it would’ve never happened. You would’ve kept missing one another. The moment never there for him and you probably oblivious until it was too late… 

But that wasn’t the case now. You were both here. Suddenly and maybe not in the best of circumstances, but you were here. That’s all that mattered. Was there really such a thin like between friendship and lovers? You tried imagining kissing Namjoon but couldn’t do it. It made you feel weird. Not the same weird you’d felt locked in the closet with Hoseok. 

“I don’t want to ruin what we have already but I can’t ignore these feelings I have for you.” Hoseok explained. “I’ve been repressing them for so long they’re uncontrollable.” He chuckled. 

“Same. I think.” You were beginning to realise that love didn’t have to punch you in the face immediately for it to be the real thing. “If I ignore how I feel about you I’ll spontaneously combust. I know it. I will.” These feelings had hit you full force and now you couldn’t ignore them even if you tried. 

He chuckled at your passion. “I don’t want you to spontaneously combust.” A thought popped into his head. “What will Yoongi say? Namjoon?” He groaned, rubbing his temples.  “What do we even tell them?” 

“Maybe we won’t tell them for a little while?” You suggested. You didn’t want to share this new, uncertain thing with other people just yet. The loft wasn’t the best set up in this situation. “Just until we work out what’s going on between us?” 

“Like keeping it a secret?” 

“I know it’s not ideal but I don’t want to mess this up.” He nodded, agreeing with you. “If we try and fail our friendship could get ruined. That terrifies me, Hobi.” You wanted to be honest here. All cards on the table. “I love you a lot. I don’t want to jeopardise anything.” 

“Hey, hey, nothing will get ruined, I promise you,” he reassured, reaching for your hand with both of his. “We’ll take it as slow as you want. This is new and if we do it properly then everything will be okay in the end.” He gave you a gentle smile. “Whatever the outcome. If we decide to move forward or decide to just stay friends, we’ll be okay.” 

Maybe that’s why you’d never realised your feelings for him. Why he’d never said anything. Your friendship meant too much to one another. If that was ruined somehow it would kill you both. But it didn’t have to be like that. If you both saw the potential danger, you could avoid it best you could. You shouldn’t be thinking of the potential end if it was only just the beginning. 

“You’re right,” you smiled back. 

Letting go of your hand he relaxed back into the chair again. “But for tonight, let’s think of this as a new thing. It’ll take the pressure off us.” 

“How do you mean?” You asked, curious. He had a giant smirk on his face. 

He shrugged. “Maybe we met on Tinder. Decided to go for a drink.” 

Oh. Okay, you saw where he was going. A little bit of make believe. That sounded fun. You and Hoseok always messed around like this. Why would it change? “Yeah,” you nodded, getting into it instantly. “We liked what we saw. I liked the way you dress.” 

He snorted. “You hate my dress sense. You told me I dress like a twenty year old hipster.”  

“I like it!” You insisted. You mean, in your defence you’d only said that because he’d said you dressed like a granny. He’d started it. 

“Thank you.” He was satisfied, you both could commence. “I liked your glasses. Reminded me of the librarian kink I had in high school.” 

“Eww.” You wrinkled your nose. “Weirdo.” You both laughed loudly. 

.

.

“Goodnight, pretty lady. I’ll see you in the morning,” Hoseok murmured. The night was over, the loft was empty, the guys probably already in bed, when you got back and you both walked down the hallway to your rooms, stopping outside to say goodnight. 

“Lame,” you scoffed, but he could tell by your face you loved it. “Night.” 

He leaned in for a kiss. It seemed like he was trying to keep it brief, nothing like last night or two nights before that, but no matter how hard he tried, it lingered. It was painful pulling apart and walking into your bedroom. You knew he was trying to be chivalry, and patient, and whatever else, but there was an itch inside you that screamed to be relieved. 

You pressed the back of your head up against the door, closing your eyes and taking a few breaths. Praying the desire you felt would ebb away. You heard movement from the other side. 

“Slow, we should take this slow.” Hoseok almost whined from outside.  

You opened your eyes immediately and flung the door open. You were on him in an instant, kissing him eagerly. Thankful your rooms were the other side of the loft from Namjoon’s and Yoongi’s. There would he no explaining this, and you didn’t want to share this with anyone else yet. Not to be careful, not just in case, like you’d originally thought, but because you were selfish. You wanted Hoseok for yourself. 

“I really want you. Like so bad,” you panted, hands all over his body. You wanted him out of his shirt. Out of his pants. Thoughts and images jumped into your mind. You were a woman possessed. “I’ve waited too long already. Please.” 

“Don’t beg like that.” His voice was so low, maybe even a growl, and it did things to you. 

You didn’t want to take this slow. Everything was already perfect. No matter what had happened to get here, it was all perfect now. 

You couldn’t wait a moment longer. You needed to be with him. 

“Pleaseee,” you said purposefully. 

He growled this time. For real. “I said don’t–ah, fuck it!” You exclaimed out loud as he picked you up from the middle, legs dangling alongside his as he walked into your room. He let go and cupped your face tight. He was breathing heavily. “I really want this, I really like you. I’m sure of it. Now that this is finally happening. Now I finally had the guts to make a move. This is for real.” 

You blinked. “Forreal for real?” 

“Yeah,” he murmured. “Never been more certain of anything in my entire life.” 

And then he was kissing you again. You never wanted it to stop. With shaky hands you took his and began to lead him backwards towards your bed…

*bonus* 

“Morning,” Hoseok smiled from above you. 

You’d only just woken up, eyes still blurry, but you rubbed them and rolled onto your back. “Good morning,” you smiled back. 

He rubbed his hand over your waist under the covers, now grinning like he couldn’t stop it. “We did that.” 

You were still naked. So was he. What a thought. “We really did that.” 

“Twice.” 

You hummed, reliving last nights antics. It was just so natural. The sex you mean. No awkwardness, no nerves. It was just…perfect. Giggling and messing around, just like you were as friends. Nothing had changed. Only now you were probably going to be bumping uglies on the regular… It was only right to make a new suggestion now. “Wanna make it a third?” 

“Thought you’d never ask,” he laughed, dipping his head to kiss your neck. You let yourself sink, closing your eyes and enjoying the moment until you remembered something. 

“Wait, wait—!” Your eyes flew open. “What’s the time?” 

Hoseok stopped and looked back, craning his neck to catch the time on your alarm clock. “Twenty past 7.” 

You groaned. “I have a class in 2 hours.” 

“Uhh,” he started awkwardly, pecking your lips. “This is new n’ all but I don’t want to get your hopes up so early into this. I will never be able to last two hours. You’ll be fine. You won’t miss class,” he chuckled. 

“Shut up,” you groaned, kissing him just to roll him on his back. The thought of leaving this bed today was depressing. “I’m just going to call in sick anyway.” You told him, pulling away.

He stroked his fingers through your hair, smirking. “Oh, a bad girl, huh?” 

You narrowed your eyes. If he wanted you to be bad, you could be bad. “Get a condom, Jung.” 

[guiltandguitarstrings]

***SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 3 OF WANDAVISION***

OKAY - WOOF - A LOT TO PROCESS AND THIS WAS DEFINITELY MY FAV EPISODE SO FAR AND AAAHH IM SO EXCITED.

FIRST THINGS FIRST, I LOVED THE BRADY BUNCH-ESQUE VIBES IT WAS GIVING OFF AND VISION’S HAIR WAS BEAUTIFUL TOO 😂

SO WE OFFICIALLY HAVE BILLY AND TOMMY AND AAAHAHAHAHAH I’M SO EXCITED - THEY’RE DEFINITELY FOLLOW THE HOUSE OF M STORY LINE TO A CERTAIN DEGREE

WANDA MENTIONING PIETRO MADE ME TEAR UP - AND HER ACCENT CAME BACK AS SHE WAS CONFRONTING MONICA TOO AND HER SINGING IN SOKOVIAN WAS GORGEOUS

THE ADVERTISEMENT WAS SO ON THE NOSE - HYDRA SOAK; WE’RE DEFINITELY GETTING A CALL BACK TO WANDA’S TIME WITHIN HYDRA’S WALLS

MONICA WAS DEFINITELY UNDERCOVER (MAYBE TO SOME CAPACITY)

AGNES SHUSHING HERB BEFORE HE COULD SPILL THE BEANS - SHE’S VERY SUS AND I’M BEGINNING TO THINK THAT SHE COULD BE EITHER AGATHA HARKNESS OR POSSIBLY EVEN MIDNIGHT

WITH MORE HINTS FROM THIS EPISODE AND PREVIOUS, I CAN DEFINITELY SEE MEPHISTO, BEYONDER AND ANNIHILUS MAKING THEIR MCU DEBUTS - POSSIBLY EVEN THE X-MEN OR OTHER COMIC CHARACTERS

EVAN PETERS IS ON THE CAST LIST FOR WANDAVISION AND I’M BEGINNING TO THINK THAT MAYBE EITHER MEPHISTO MAY TAKE HIS FORM AS A WAY TO CONSOLE WANDA AND TRY TO BRAINWASH HER OR MUTANTS WILL SOME HOW COME TO EXIST AND THE FACT THAT DEADPOOL 3 IS CONFIRMED (with it’s R rating) MUTANTS ARE DEFINITELY COMING SOONER RATHER THAN LATER

MONICA WEARING A SWORD NECKLACE AND DEFINITELY TRYING TO INTERROGATE WANDA CONFIRMS THAT SHE IS AT LEAST WORKING FOR S.W.O.R.D

ALSO, AGNES IS ALL 3 EPISODES THUS FAR HAS BEEN WEARING THAT BROOCH/NECKLACE

WANDA STRAIGHT UP USED HER POWERS TO FORCE MONICA OUT, GIVEN THAT SHE WAS SURROUNDED BY SCARLET MAGIC AND WANDA/WHOEVER HAS CLEARLY CREATED A POCKET UNIVERSE TO LIVE IN

PENTAGON SHAPES KEEP SHOWING UP AND CLEARLY TIE IN

UNFORTUNATELY I DON’T KNOW IF TOMMY AND BILLY WILL BE PERMANENT FIXTURES IN THE MCU, DUE TO WANDA USING SHARDS OF MEPHISTO’S SOUL TO GIVE THEM LIFE IN THE COMICS AND MEPHISTO TAKING THEM BACK, CAUSING BILLY AND TOMMY TO BE WIPED FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH - BUT ONE CAN ONLY HOPE THEY GET TO STAY AND/OR GET RE CREATED

BRADY BUNCH DOLL

THE GLITCH, CLEARLY WANDA OR WHOEVER WASN’T HAPPY WITH WHAT VISION SAID

NOTE TAKER WAS GONE

COULD MONICA HAVE POSSIBLY GOTTEN POWERS FROM BEING THROWN OUT BY WANDA (IN THE COMICS, MONICA GETS HIT BY EXTRA-DIMENSIONAL ENERGY FROM AN ENERGY DISRUPTOR WEAPON) AND SHE BECOMES CAPTAIN MARVEL AND THEN SPECTRUM

I’M STILL PROCESSING THE EPISODE, SO IF I THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE I SHALL POST IT BUT THAT’S WHAT I’VE GOT SO FAR 😂

***FURTHER THOUGHTS***

I loved the stork - little Easter Egg to how the stork brings the children to their parents

And Agnes telling Herb to stop it, is it related to Mrs Hart saying “Stop it” to Mr Hart in ep 1?

Also: The look on Agnes’ face when she’s saying stop it to Herb looked like genuine fear - so - referring back to Volume 1 of James Robinson’s run on Scarlet Witch - There’s a ghost that Wanda talks to almost exclusively and further on down the road she ends up being resurrected by the inner goddess Hecate. So..what if Agnes has been a resurrected ghost, in this little pocket universe by Wanda but she’s afraid of maybe being killed again or maybe she’s just genuinely afraid of Wanda because she knows what she’s capable of - which you could also link the ‘Hydra Goddess’ to Hecate??? Possibly ? Or maybe Agnes and Wanda were working on a spell to resurrect Vision but things very quickly got out of control and Agnes realised that Wanda was going a bit too far but she’s too powerful to stop. Agnes’s job so far in the series is keeping Wanda happy or calm and focused in a way, whenever there’s a heated moment she shows up and quickly shuts it down - or just a little nod

Also also: What if we’re like - in the first episode there was, who I think was Darcy Lewis, watching Wanda’s sitcom type thingy - what if we’re like viewers if S.W.O.R.D is trying to reach out to nearby towns or houses and it’s like a little meta nod and we’re watching Wanda’s sitcom as viewers from a surrounding or nearby town?

Also also also: I don’t think Wanda caused the glitch in the episode, in ep 2 she said “No” and straight up rewound back, however with this glitch she pretty much kept the same face and seemed genuinely interested in what Vision had to say - so again, outsider controlling? There was a little Easter Egg of Grim Reaper’s helmet, could it be the Grim Reaper? Or a clue in to Wonder Man? Seeing as Grim Reaper is Wonder Man’s brother idk

Also also also: “Ralph looks better in the dark” MEPHISTO??????? And the toaster in the first ep, the before toaster, was upside down and had ‘666’

I seriously love this show and I will not give up on my Mephisto theory 😂💙

[huahsu]

YEAR OF WHAT HAPPENS ON EARTH STAYS ON EARTH

[longer version of what I contributed to the new yorker’s year-end package. you can read that here, and listen to the accompanying megamix the video team made! links to previous year’s lists at bottom.] I did not grow up going to church, and I am not a particularly religious person. A few days after the inauguration, I wandered into a nearby church and took a seat in the back pews. I’d gone there right after the election. There was some time for anyone with anything on their mind to stand up and speak. If you need others to pray for you, just let us know. A middle-aged black man in a leather jacket got up and began telling us about an argument he was having with a friend on Facebook. It was about the election, but it was actually about the intractability of racism. He was getting frustrated while describing it to us, in part because he seemed to value being the cool and level-headed one. Plus he was describing the kind of argument millions of people were having on the Internet. “I just hope he finds peace,” the guy said. He paused, then put his hands on his chest. “On a lighter note, today would have been Jimi Hendrix’s seventy-fourth birthday.” He opened up his leather jacket to show everyone his Hendrix t-shirt. “I just wanted to say that, because he was just awesome.” So I returned here, the day after marching through Manhattan with a poster that said “HOLD ON, BE STRONG.” I needed to be in a room that was powered by something other than hate--to be reminded of vision and purpose, even if they weren’t mine to claim. To listen to wisdom gleaned from a book I’ve never read, and pick and choose what I wanted. To hear others pour themselves into songs I never, ever sing along to. I wanted to steal their vibes.  Instead of a hymn, they passed out small pieces of paper with the lyrics of John Lennon’s “Imagine.” This is not the type of church people come to for the music. The pianist started playing, and I remember thinking about how it felt like magic when I learned how to play those chords as a kid. I couldn’t believe we were doing this. We sang, tentatively at first, as though we could not believe these words in this space. Picture it: singing of “no heaven” and “no religion, too,” with humility and hope, inside a house of worship. It was like an admission that faith was inadequate. All we had was one another. “Imagine” is a song I’ve heard millions of times, the type of song that is so ubiquitous that we rarely bother scrutinizing its words, its vantage point, the possibility that someone wrote these words because he actually believed them. I sang along with a room of strangers, and we looked at one another, and, for the first time in months, I began to cry.   TWO LYRICS THAT REMINDED ME OF POLITICS EVEN IF THEY HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH POLITICS "Wrote this shit January 21″ “Take me back to November / Take me back to November” “I’M AN ANGRY TEENAGER” Novelist, “Street Politician” ONCE THEY START, I HAVE TO LISTEN TO THE END Jim O’Rourke’s recently unearthed cover of Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car” Kanye’s sitcom-length remix of “Bed” THURSDAY NIGHTS ON NBC Ross from Friends’ very Madchester guitar-y Boiler Room set DJ Seinfeld, Time Spent Away from U Nino Man, Jadakiss and Styles P, “Friends”

IN ANOTHER YEAR FULL OF NIRVANA/KURT COBAIN REFERENCES (DID YOU SEE JAY:Z’S JACKET?) MY FAVORITE SONG, PROBABLY: this Trippie Redd snippet

SOME VERSIONS OF THE NINETIES THAT WILL NEVER COME BACK THE WAY GRUNGE ENNUI HAS, BUT WERE SO POSSIBILITY-RICH TO ME BACK THEN Kicking Giant, This Being the Ballad of Kicking Giant, Halo: NYC/Olympia 1989-1993 Helium, The Dirt of Luck/The Magic City LIKE MANY WHO LOVED “A STORM IN HEAVEN,” I OVERLOOKED THEM AT THE TIME Acetone, 1992-2001 A REALLY GOOD BOOK ABOUT ACETONE, LOS ANGELES, DREAMS OF GREATNESS Sam Sweet, Hadley Lee Lightcap WOULD HAVE LOVED THIS IN 1994, 2002 OR 2017 Big Thief, Capacity CREDIBLE AND DOPE EARLY NINETIES R&B HOMAGE, SAX AND ALL Joyce Wrice, “Good Morning” SPEAKING OF THE NINETIES, LEECH MADE A MIXTAPE OF JUST THE FLOATY/DREAMY PARTS TAKEN FROM CLASSIC GOOD LOOKING/MOVING SHADOW SINGLES Leech, “Just the Liquid” FOR THE COMEDOWN, DARK-ASS STUFF ASSEMBLED EXCLUSIVELY FROM SLIPKNOT SAMPLES Croww, Prosthetics NOSTALGIA, ULTRA (UK GARAGE/BASSLINE EDITION) tqd, ukg SUMMERTIME ‘SECOND SUMMER OF LOVE’ VIBE Opus III, “It’s a Fine Day (Burt Fox remix)” UNEXPECTED BURIAL SUMMERTIME VIBES Monic, “Deep Summer (Burial remix)” NO REISSUE OR  tk ANNIVERSARY TIE-IN, JUST SOME OLD SONGS I RE/DISCOVERED THIS YEAR Active Minds, “Hobson’s Choice” El-B, “El-Brand” Kamal Abdul Alim, “Brotherhood” Spiritualized in Reykjavik  U2, “Numb (Soul Assassins remix)” U2, “Mysterious Ways (Massive Attack remix)”

SAME, BUT TAIWANESE INDIE ROCK EDITION Chocolate Tiger, “Piecing Together” REISSUES, OR: PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN WEIRD AND SPACY#, OBSESSED WITH NATURAL BEAUTY## # Planetary Peace, Synthesis # Pauline Anna Strom, Trans-Millennia Music ## Pep Llopis, Poiemusia La Nau Dels Argonaut REISSUES, OR: WHEN I WAS A CHILD THERE WERE NO BETTER SONGS THAN THE ONES THAT PLAYED THROUGH TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE AND FOR SOME REASON THIS JOYOUS EP REMIND ME OF THAT SHEEN, THOSE HOOKS, THE PERFECT, THEATER-SIZED ECHO Om Alec Khaoli, Say You Love Me BEST ALBUM-LENGTH METAPHOR FOR THE CITY, ITS LIMITATIONS AND POSSIBILITIES Wiki, No Mountains In Manhattan SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE IT WAS DESCRIBED, JAMAICA VIA OUTER SPACE Equiknoxx, Colon Man I NEED TO GO OUT MORE Jex Opolis, “Mt. Belzoni” KH, “Question”

I LISTENED TO THIS ABOUT TEN TIMES, MY SENSE OF ENCHANTMENT GROWING AND GROWING EACH TIME, BEFORE REALIZING THERE WERE BARELY ANY DRUMS ON IT Mr. Mitch, Devout SERIOUSLY THE MR. MITCH ALBUM WAS REALLY MOVING AND FANTASTIC Mr. Mitch f/ Denai Moore, “Fate” CRAZY WISDOM MASTER Vince Staples, Big Fish Theory C’MON AND RAISE UP Rapsody f/ Kendrick, Lance Skiiwalker, “Power” SO ICEY Zomby, Mercury’s Rainbow ECHO PARTY Demen, Nektyr Evy Jane, “Give Me Love” THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST Vic Mensa, The Autobiography DUNGEON FAMILY, EVEN IN DARKNESS Earthgang f/ J.I.D., “Meditate” FUNNY HOW TIME SLIPS AWAY Lee Gamble, Mnestic Pressure Pessimist, s/t NOT SURE HOW THIS BECAME THE DIWALI OF 2017 BUT OKAY French Montana f/ Mariah, Rae Sremmurd, PNB Rock, Belly, Elephant Man, Vybz Kartel, J Balvin, NORE, Wizkid, “Unforgettable” HOW ARE THIS MANY PEOPLE ON A FOUR MINUTE SONG? GOOD VIDEO THOUGH A$AP Mob f/ A$AP Rocky, Playboi Carti, Quavo, Lil Uzi Vert and Frank Ocean, “RAF” I LIKE IT WHEN FERG’S VOICE GETS ALL NAGGY Ferg, “Plain Jane” METRO BOOMIN MADE A BEAT THAT REMINDED ME OF RADIOHEAD Post Malone f/ Quavo, “Congratulations” THE MARIACHI VERSION IS PRETTY SWEET Brian Imanuel, “How I surprised Post Malone with a mariachi band” ”IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR LYRICS, IF YOU’RE LOOKING TO CRY, IF YOU’RE LOOKING TO THINK ABOUT LIFE...” JonWayne, Rap Album Two CORNBALL PIANOS AND THEN THAT SYNTH DRAGS, AND THEN THE DRUMS KICK Tee Grizzley, “First Day Out” “BUT WILD/WITH MY MONOTONE STYLE” 21 Savage, “Bankroll” Kodak Black, “Candy Paint” Rich Chigga, “Glow Like Dat” ANNUAL SPOT RESERVED FOR LA MUSICA DE HARRY FRAUD French Montana f/ Pharrell, “Bring Dem Things” WHEN LAETITIA SAYS HER OWN NAME ON “EMBERS” Vagabon, Infinite Worlds WHEN JESSIE LEANS INTO THE WORD “FUCK” Jessie Reyez, “Figures” THAT LIGHT MISTING, THAT CASUAL SPRITZ OF SYNTHS Lanark Artefax, “Touch Absence” A GOOD ANTI-DJT THING THAT CAME OUT EARLY THIS YEAR, WHICH FEELS LIKE EONS AGO Lushlife + friends, My Idols are Dead + My Enemies are in Power THE BABY, THE FLUTES, PIERRE’S OBNOXIOUSLY LONG TAG, THE JESSE LINGARD DANCE Playboi Carti, “Magnolia” ILLEST SHIT I SAW THIS YEAR, BABY-RELATED A child at a restaurant watching an iPad and an iPhone at the same damn time “[FREE] PLAYBOI CARTI TYPE BEAT” YBN Nahmir, “Rubbin off the Paint” GUNS N ROSES, BEFORE ONE OF THE WEIRDEST BEEFS OF THE YEAR Trippie Redd f/ 6IX9INE, “POLES1469″ SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE YOU CAN SING, AND DO IT WITH CONVICTION, AND I WILL LISTEN Trippie Redd, “Rack City/Love Scars 2″ ALL THE BACKGROUND NOISE/ECHOED-OUT ADLIBS MAKE THIS BlocBoy JB, “No Chorus Pt 10″ SMERZ HAS FUN DESPITE THE AWKWARD OF IT ALL Smerz on NTS IT SEEMS REALLY EASY TO MAKE A GOOD-SOUNDING SONG THESE DAYS Global Dan, “Off White” OF ALL THE DOPE SHIT THAT FUTURE APPEARED ON THIS YEAR, THE MOMENT I WILL REMEMBER IS That tiny pause before he sings “I need fresh air,” when he seems happy and content IS THAT A GEORGE MICHAEL SAMPLE? Mozzy, “Prayed for This” THE FIX C Struggs, “Go to Jesus” "IT’S COOL, BUT IT’S NOT...END ZONE” Lil Uzi Vert, “XO TOUR Llif3″ AN ALBUM BOOKENDED BY TOTALLY DIFFERENT KINDS OF COLIN KAEPERNICK/TAKE A KNEE REFERENCES Miguel, War and Leisure IT WAS A VERY GOOD YEAR Brockhampton, Saturation I-III SZA, Ctrl SPEAKING OF SZA: WHAT A GREAT TITLE, BESIDES IT BEING ONE OF MY FAVORITE ALBUMS OF THE YEAR Kingdom, Tears in the Club THE KELELA ALBUM WAS LOVELY, AS ARE THESE Kelela x Bok Bok, Dub Me Apart A RANDOM YOUTUBE COVER THAT I ALSO LIKED, BECAUSE IT CAPTURED HOW MELODIC THE ORIGINAL ACTUALLY IS Kathleen Nguyen covering Kendrick and Zacari’s “Love.” DAMN. WAS GOOD Almost as good as “The Heart Part 4″ LIKE A DE LA SOUL ALBUM, SOMETHING THAT I KNOW I WILL CONTINUE ENJOYING/UNDERSTANDING ANEW FOR YEARS TO COME Tyler, the Creator, Flower Boy ”BLONDED RADIO” MADE ME JOIN APPLE MUSIC Frank Ocean, “Chanel” Frank Ocean, “Biking (solo)” Tyler and Frank, “Where This Flower Blooms” MACH HOMMY MAKES GOOD MUSIC THAT’S HARD TO ACCESS “x Earl Sweatshirt” EP ty Soundcloud IT’S A WEIRD TIME B/W THIS BEAT IS SO DEMENTED Tay-K, “The Race” PROBABLY MY FAVORITE PHARRELL BEAT Kap G f/ Pharrell, “Icha Gicha” MAYBE THE GREATEST MUSIC EVER MADE, REISSUED Pharoah Sanders

REMINDED ME OF PHAROAH, WHEN IT WASN’T REMINDING ME OF BON IVER Joseph Shabason, Aytche AND I ENJOYED AYTCHE FOR SIMILAR REASONS I LIKED ZONING OUT TO Tom Rogerson and Brian Eno, Finding Shore ANNUAL SLOT RESERVED FOR MUSIC I LOVED THAT FEATURED HARP Alice Coltrane, World Spirituality Classics Vol 1

SAME, BUT FOR HARP STUFF THAT ALSO SHOUTS OUT WAWA Mary Lattimore, Collected Pieces ANNUAL SLOT RESERVED FOR TASTEFUL VIBRAPHONE Jenifa Mayanja, “Warrior Strutt” YOU TRYING TO GET THE PIPE, TO PLAY IT, OF COURSE, AS PART OF AN EXPERIMENTAL COMPOSITION? Mary Jane Leach, Pipe Dreams THERE’S A MOMENT DURING THAT BAD BOY DOCUMENTARY CAN’T STOP WON’T STOP WHERE IT BECOMES CLEAR THAT EVERYONE WHO WORKS CLOSELY WITH DIDDY EVENTUALLY TURNS TO GOD, AND IT WAS LIKE THE STRANGE OBVERSE OF Jay Z et al, 4:44 footnotes 2016, BUT I SAT IN THE MET BREUER AND WATCHED THIS OVER AND OVER FOR ABOUT AN HOUR Arthur Jafa, “Love is the Message, The Message is Death” I WANT TO WATCH THE FULL FOUR HOURS OF THIS Dev Hynes talking to Philip Glass TRICKSTERY BUT KINDA MESMERIZING! Klein, Tommy Lolina, Lolita EP Hype Williams, Rainbow Edition “NOT ANOTHER GOT MORE SEOUL, UNLESS YOU KOREAN” (CHILLWAVE REMIX) Mogwaa, Deja Vu “THE TING GOES SKRRRAHH, PAP, PAP, KA-KA-KA/SKIDIKI-PAP-PAP, AND A PU-PU-PUDRRRR-BOOM/SKYA, DU-DU-KU-KU-DUN-DUN/POOM, POOM, YOU DON’ KNOW” Big Shaq, “Mans Not Hot” IBID., BUT “PERKY” Drake, More Life I WANTED TO LIKE THE WIZKID ALBUM MORE, BUT THIS WAS AWESOME Tiwa Savage f/ Wizkid and Spellz, “Ma Lo” LISTENED TO THIS QUITE A FEW TIMES SIMPLY BECAUSE ”BREAKING NEWS: WILD GOAT ON THE LOOSE” IS A WEIRD LINE Lancey Foux f/ AJ Tracey, Kojey Radical and Jevon, “Wild Goat” UNITED TIL I DIE BUT AJ TRACEY’S TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR KIT LAUNCH FREESTYLE HAD ME BUZZZZZZIN AJ Tracey, “False 9″ DIFFERENT TIME OF DAY, KINDA LEFT ME SPEECHLESS Grouper, “Children” Colleen, A Flame my love, a frequency Kara Lis Coverdale, Grafts Ryuichi Sakamoto, async LEFT RYUICHI SAKAMOTO ENVIOUS Metaphors: Selected Soundworks from the Cinema of Apichatpong Weerasethakul FROM OMNI TRIO TO THIS, A PRETTY VISIONARY CAREER Robert Haigh, Creatures of the Deep A SONG THAT FEATURED TWO PEOPLE WHO SHOULD BE PRETTY BIG IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF YEARS DJDS f/ Amber Mark and Marco McKinnis, “Trees on Fire” LIKE, THIS IS GREAT Amber Mark, “Lose My Cool” AWESOME YEAR FOR POTIONS Social Lovers, “Drop Me a Line” Boss, “Song for Gods” WHISKED ME BACK TO MEMORIES OF the enormous room Joakim, “Samurai” Calvin Harris f/ Frank Ocean and Migos, “Slide” Amp Fiddler, “I’m Feeling You” Chaos in the CBD, Accidental Meetings LIKE FALLING ASLEEP ON THE SUBWAY, OR A TRUCK HITTING A POTHOLE AND SPITTING OUT A RECORD COLLECTION, OR HEARING A NANOSECOND OF BRAND NUBIAN THROUGH SOMEONE’S HEADPHONES AS YOU PASS THEM ON THE STREET, IT’S A VIBE Standing on the Corner, Red Burns MIKE’S A SAVIOR Mike 1. I SPENT A LOT OF TIME THIS YEAR THINKING ABOUT THE STRENGTH, ELASTICITY, FRAGILITY, GRAIN OF THE HUMAN VOICE AND SOME OF THIS WAS TOTALLY NECESSARY AND SUBLIME Deep Throat Choir, Be Ok Diamanda Galas, All the Way Moses Sumney, Aromanticism 2. SO ACHINGLY GOOD AND INTIMATE, ESPECIALLY THAT FAINT CROAK IN THE FIRST CHORUS Rostam f/ Kelly Zutrau, “Half-Light” 3. OF COURSE THESE WORLD-MAKERS TOO Bjork, Utopia Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith, The Kid Valerie June, “Astral Plane” 3a. A STRANGE PROPOSITION THAT I ENDED UP ADORING KAS covering Sade’s "By Your Side" THE BAY AREA IS JUST DIFFERENT Droop-E, Trillionaire Thoughts Lil B, Black Ken THE “BUILD YOU UP” VIDEO WAS FUN AND ALL BUT I’M REALLY GLAD THIS WASN’T THAT Kamiayah, Before I Wake THE BAY TO L.A. AND BACK AGAIN Mozzy f/ G Perico, “Blammatory” G Perico f/ Mozzy, “What’s Real” GYEAH MC Eiht, Which Way Iz West OUTRUN THE BEAT SOB x RBE, “Lane Changing 2″ BANDS THAT ALWAYS SOUND LIKE THEMSELVES, IN WAYS THAT I FIND COMFORTING the xx, I See You King Krule, The Ooz SAME AS ABOVE, MIDDLE-AGED DIVISION The Feelies, In Between Slowdive, “Star Roving” SOMEONE WHO SOUNDS LIKE NO ONE ELSE Jlin, Black Origami THE NEW NATIONAL ANTHEM Dreezy f/ 6LACK and Kodak Black, “Spar” I LOOKED UP EACH TIME THIS CAME ON THE SHUFFLE Shanti Celeste, “Loop One/Selector”

PROBABLY MY FAVORITE SONG GoldLink f/ Brent Faiyaz and Shy Glizzy, “Crew” OR MAYBE Jorja Smith x Preditah, “On My Mind” THIS WAS SICK TOO GoldLink & Co. covering Outkast’s “Roses” MAYBE THE BEST SONG J Hus, “Did You See”

ANOTHER YEAR, ANOTHER YEAR WHERE MY FAVORITE RELEASE WAS PROBABLY FROM YAEJI, THE “GLASSES FOGGING UP” LINE WAS VERY RELATABLE Yaeji, EP2 THE SONG OF THE SPRING, SUMMER, WINTER   I MEAN, IT’S WAYNE’S WORLD, WE JUST LIVE IN IT ### SIKH DEVOTIONAL MUSIC :: 2016 SPOOKY BLACK :: 2015

[marcuserrico]

Role Recall: Woody Harrelson on identifying with 'Cheers' character, learning to dunk, and what he really thinks of Jennifer Lawrence

Over the course of a wildly successful, widely diverse three decades, Woody Harrelson has held down the tap on Cheers, proved white men can jump, and managed to survive The Hunger Games, winning an Emmy and receiving two Oscar nods along the way. The 56-year-old Texas native has two major films out this month — the Rob Reiner-helmed biopic LBJ, in which he’s virtually unrecognizable as the 36th president, and the Oscar-buzzing Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, where he plays a local sheriff under siege from a mother who wants justice for her murdered daughter —  and has recently wrapped filming on 2018’s surefire blockbuster Solo: A Star Wars Story. Yahoo Entertainment recently down with Harrelson for a guided tour of his greatest hits in the latest edition of our Role Recall series. Some highlights:

Cheers (1985-93) Harrelson’s breakout role came in the classic NBC sitcom, where he joined the ensemble in 1985 as the kind, yet dimwitted bartender Woody Boyd. “It was a friend of mine who told me that there was this part you should go try out for,” Harrelson explains. “The part’s named Woody, he’s from Indiana, where we had gone to college, and I was like, ‘Oh, that’s interesting.’

“There was a lot about Woody Boyd that I resonated with. And though I didn’t think I was very innocent at the time, I probably was pretty innocent. It was the first time I really broke out of anonymity — and poverty.”

White Men Can’t Jump (1992) Harrelson really couldn’t jump for the Ron Shelton comedy about two basketball hustlers, a fact that resulted in endless taunting (and wagering) from co-star Wesley Snipes. “That was one of the funnest times I ever had doing a movie. I remember having an actual contest with Wes where I was trying to dunk. We were betting and I was losing. Then he went to his trailer … and this [crew member] told me, “Why don’t you ever stretch?” This is my first introduction to yoga,” Harrelson recalls, “and I started stretching and the next thing you know, I could dunk the ball. This is on a 9-and-a-half-foot rim, by the way; I couldn’t do it on a 10-foot rim. … He came out of his trailer and I pretended I couldn’t and we upped the bet and upped the bet and then slammed it. I’ll never forget the look on Wes’s face: It was joyous.

Indecent Proposal (1993) This extremely popular, extremely un-P.C. film starred Robert Redford as mogul who offers Harrelson’s character $1 million for a night with his wife, played by Demi Moore. “My mom was pretty psyched,” says Harrelson. “She didn’t come to visit me on set much, but with Robert Redford was in the movie, she came to the set for sure. She was like a little girl. It was fantastic.”

Natural Born Killers (1994) Harrelson and Juliette Lewis played a modern-day Bonnie and Clyde in Oliver Stone’s graphically violent road-trip movie that polarized audiences upon its release. “I didn’t know it would be that controversial. It was very controversial,” says Harrelson. “People are like, ‘Do you like doing controversial movies?’ I’m like, ‘Hell, no. I like doing movies people would go see, not movies people are boycotting.'”

The People vs. Larry Flynt (1996) Harrelson reteamed with Stone and earned his first Oscar nomination playing Hustler magnate Larry Flynt in this biopic. “I wouldn’t have been much into doing this movie if I hadn’t come to respect Larry. I don’t respect much the pornography part of what he does,” Harrelson quickly adds, “But what he is as a person, and the rebel that he is, and even what he did recently offering $10 million for any information that leads to the impeachment of our so-called president… I’ve never met a more honest man.”

The Hunger Games (2012-15) For the blockbuster four-film saga based on the bestselling book series, Harrelson played mentor to Jennifer Lawrence’s Katniss Everdeen. “I love Jen,” Harrelson says with a smile. “She’s absolutely hysterical. She’s her own person. I love who she is. I think she’s a tremendous actress, but even more so as a person, she’s one of my top favorite people in the world.”

True Detective (2014) Harrelson and partner Matthew McConaughey both earned Emmy nominations for HBO’s esoteric mystery thriller. “Love working with Matthew, that’s the third thing we did together,” Harrelson says, ticking off their collaborations in EDtv and Surfer Dude. “He’s a hard-core committed guy… Man, what a performance.” But despite their good vibes on set and off, that doesn’t mean Harrelson wants to reprise their partnership for a follow-up season of True Detective. “I don’t see doing that because it went really well the first time and if you come back around to it, what else are you going to hear? ‘Not as good. Wasn’t as good. Boy, you guys were good before, but this time…’ I don’t want to hear that.”

Watch the complete Role Recall above.

Here’s Woody on why he almost didn’t appear in the upcoming Star Wars movie:

Read more from Yahoo Entertainment:

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Woody Harrelson’s ‘LBJ’ transformation was so complete it fooled his daughter

‘War for the Planet of the Apes’ cast on the film’s ending and its connection to previous ‘Apes’ movies

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NBC Mid-Season Junket Recap

NBC’s mid-season press junket was a fun-filled media pordy where we chatted up the network’s biggest (and brightest) talent at the Universal Lot in La La Land.

If you didn’t know, NBC has an intriguing crop of new (“A.P. Bio”) and established shows (“This Is Us”) with very relatable stars who gave us exclusive insight into their creative process while keeping the mood light and sometimes ridiculous (heyyy “LadyGang”).

At some point, we linked with everyone from triple-threat Ne-Yo (“World Of Dance”) to the gorgeous Yaya Decosta (“Chicago Med”) to the INCREDIBLE Lorraine Toussaint for amazing conversations with a side of delicious eats and sparkling water.

There were non-stop laughs with countless quotables sprinkled throughout an amazing afternoon that we’re excited to share with you. And yes, there’s video.

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Married To Medicine Los Angeles

Dr. Imani Walker and the delightfully bubbly Shanique Drummond delivered some classy shade while promoting their upcoming “Married To Medicine” spin-off that’s sure to get everyone buzzing about the ladies’ spicy La La Land shenanigans.

You don’t want to miss the Series Premiere Sunday, March 10th at 9/8c on Bravo.

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Good Girls

WE LOVE RETTA & RENO who gushed about their very, very complicated yet relatable marriage on the popular caper-drama that you should add to your watch list if you haven’t already.

Catch their beautifully flawed Black love every Sunday at 10/9c!

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Superstore

Colton Dunn, Nico Santos (excuse us, Mr. Santos who blew up after “Crazy Rich Asians”) and Nichole Bloom took a break from filming to dish on their hilariously tongue-in-cheeky show about wacky supersized megastore coworkers. Yep, we’ve decided to stan.

The can’t-miss comedy returns Thursday at 8/7c!

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The Village

Whew, Lorraine Toussaint is incredible. Her soul-smoldering voice, her energy, her underrated TALENT as an actress who stars as “Patricia Davis”–everyone’s go-to neighbor and wife of the super–on the new Drama about a unique Brooklyn community.

Don’t miss the series premiere Tuesday, March 19th at 10/9c.

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LadyGang

Becca Tobin, Keltie Knight and Jac Vanek are craaaaazy, raunchy and hilariously ridiculous on their late-night, champagne-fueled E! News show where they discuss their hysterical shenanigans. No, seriously, it’s WILD and we love it.

Catch them every Sunday at 11/10c.

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World Of Dance

Ne-Yo & Derek Hough came thru with good vibes, smooth moves and big praise for the incredibly talented dancers on their hit show that airs every Sunday at 8/7c.

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Chicago Med

We love us some Yaya DaCosta who dished on her baeship blues on the show and made it clear that she’s as focused on her booming career as she’s ever been.

Catch her and the Chicago Med crew every Wednesday at 8/7c.

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The Enemy Within

Cassandra Freeman’s energy is soooo infectious and Raza Jaffrey is almost too cool. Both star on NBC’s new thriller about the CIA’s most brilliant operative-turned-greatest traitor. Oh yes, it’s lit and airs every Monday at 10/9c

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Meet The Press

Chuck Todd loves watching “Game of Thrones” when he isn’t flexing his political brilliance on the longest running show in TV history.

Get your fix every Sunday at 9 a.m. ET on the NBC-TV network; 10:30-11:30 a.m. ET in New York and Washington.

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Brooklyn 99

One day they were canceled, the next they were NBC’s hot new pick up starring Stephanie Beatriz as “Detective Rosa Diaz” on the hilariously offbeat single-camera sitcom.

Catch her, Terry Crews and the squad Thursdays at 9/8c.

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Chicago Fire

Kara Killmer plays with fire and actually enjoys the whole process that she revealed while discussing her role as “Sylvie Brett” on the hit action-drama that airs every Wednesday at 9/8c

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A.P. Bio

Glenn Howerton plays a Harvard professor who reluctantly moves back home to Ohio to teach high school Bio after failing to land his dream job. The always funny Patton Oswalt plays his sad and defeated principal. Both are hilarious on the soon-to-be crowd fave.

Check out the show premiere this Thursday at 8:30/7:30c

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New Amsterdam

Anupam Kher is extremely humble but also a Bollywood GAWD who holds the record for starring in 57 films at the same time long before his days as “Dr. Vijay Kapoor” on the popular medical drama.

Season 2 coming soon.

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Beverly Hills Dog Show

Former “Family Feud” host John O’Hurley brought his famous silver fox drip to our cuddly interview about the most adorable dog show on TV.

Need more Beverly Hills pooch preciousness in your life? Click here.

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The post All The Cool (And Hilarious) Things That Happened At NBC’s Mid-Season Press Junket In La La Land appeared first on THE NEWS.

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We’ll start with the most obvious thing: there is no Kokomo. Not off the Florida Keys, anyway. Sure, a couple places staked claims, but only after the occurence of the least obvious thing: a has-been pop act, minus their lead singer and creative engine, scoring a #1 hit off the soundtrack to a forgettable film about bartending. “Kokomo” — released 30 years ago this month — was the Beach Boys’ first original Top 20 single in 20 years, and their first chart-topper in 22.

With or without their erstwhile captain Brian Wilson, the Beach Boys never came close to replicating their early success, but no matter: Every time a quizmaster asks what the seven locations are in the song’s chorus, every Gen-X hand in the bar lunges for the pen. “Kokomo” was a peculiar last cultural gasp for everyone involved: not just the performers, but also their collaborators. Together, they formed a coastal coterie, an assemblage of connections both fortuitous and tragic.

The state of the Beach Boys in 1988 was, in a word, shitty. Their last record, 1985’s digitally crispy The Beach Boys, performed middlingly despite contributions from Culture Club, Ringo Starr, and Stevie Wonder. A couple clues to their malaise appear within the record. On the back, there’s a dedication “to the memory of our beloved brother, cousin and friend”; Dennis Wilson, the band’s drummer and only true surfer, had drowned in the water off Marina Del Rey in December of 1983. And on the label, there are three songwriting credits for E. E. Landy.

That would be Dr. Eugene Landy, Brian’s personal therapist, business manager, and professional ghoul. At one point, Wilson’s family had to sell some of his publishing rights in order to afford Landy’s $430,000-a-year fee. Landy’s role as confidant, coupled with Brian’s reluctance to tour, kept him largely away from his bandmates, though they had the right to perform and record as the Beach Boys. And so, when director Roger Donaldson sought the band to pad out the soundtrack to his film Cocktail, they turned the assignment over to their producer, Terry Melcher.

CREDIT: ABC Photo Archives/ABC via Getty Images

Though Melcher had only been been producing the group for a few years, his relationship with the band was a couple decades old at that point. In the mid-’60s, he and future Beach Boy Bruce Johnston made surf-pop as Bruce & Terry, and then as the Rip Chords. Melcher moved behind the boards, becoming a major architect of the West Coast folk-rock sound. At one of his house parties, he re-introduced Brian Wilson to Van Dyke Parks, who tried to help Wilson through the aborted Smile sessions. Parks continued to provide lyrical and instrumental daubs to Beach Boys tracks in the years afterward. In a twisted return of favor, Dennis introduced Melcher to a guy he first met trashing his house: Charlie Manson.

The aspiring megalomaniac also aspired to be a songwriter, and both Dennis and Melcher were impressed with his embryonic sketches. But Manson’s psychotic behavior scotched his chance at a record deal; incensed, he dispatched some of his followers to Melcher’s old house, where they murdered five people, including the actress Sharon Tate. The Manson Family’s spree killings blew a hole in the psyche of America’s counterculture, and sent Melcher into something of a tailspin. He took on fewer projects, eventually signing on to produce a couple television shows for his mother, the actress and singer Doris Day. By the mid-’80s, he was back in the Beach Boys’ orbit. When he was tabbed to find a song for Cocktail, he reached out to an old friend: John Phillips of the Mamas And The Papas, whose hit “California Dreamin’” the Beach Boys had recently covered.

Phillips had spent the decade juggling different Mamas And Papas lineups. He and Denny Doherty were the only returning members; Cass Elliot died in 1974, and Michelle Phillips divorced John in 1970. Their roles were filled by former Spanky & Our Gang leader Elaine McFarlane and Phillips’ daughter Mackenzie, respectively. The group toured and did the requisite casino residencies, but legit success was hard to come by. (The entire time, according to Mackenzie Phillips, she and her father were involved in what was termed an “incestuous relationship.” She made the accusation in her 2009 memoir, as well as on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Immediately afterward, various relatives and family friends issued statements attesting to their belief or disbelief in her account.) By 1986, John was demoing tracks with Scott McKenzie, best known for his Phillips-written 1967 smash “San Francisco (Be Sure To Wear Flowers In Your Hair).” One of those tracks was “Kokomo.”

You can hear Phillips’ version on the 2010 collection Many Mamas, Many Papas. (The set also contains the racist ditty “Chinaman,” as well as a song called, simply, “Yachts.”) His “Kokomo” is stately and wistful. Other than Florida, Kokomo is the only place mentioned, making the composition a sort of paean to a lost paradise of the mind. It’s been suggested that he was thinking of Mustique, an island in the Grenadines purchased in the ‘50s by Phillips’ friend, the British aristocrat Colin Tennant, 3rd Baron Glenconner. Tennant nearly went broke maintaining the damn thing, eventually transferring ownership to the islands’ wealthy homeowners (a group which has, at one time or another, included Bryan Adams, David Bowie, and Mick Jagger). Regardless of origin, the “Kokomo” demo was missing a chorus. And that’s where Mike Love enters.

If Brian Wilson was like Paul McCartney, pushing his bandmates to precisely render his sonic fancies, Mike Love was like … well, Paul McCartney, desperately trying to keep all the stakeholders happy and productive. He’s rarely given his due as a songwriter: He sued Brian in 1992 more or less for this reason, eventually winning co-writing credit for 35 Beach Boys tunes. The occasional “Good Vibrations” aside (a lyric written with McKenzie’s “San Francisco” in mind), his gift is punch-ups: tweaking phrases and adding earworms. He scrapped Phillips’ past tense. It sounded like regret, which is not Love’s bag. All he’s ever wanted to do is provide escape. So when it came time to write the chorus, Love sang Melcher a map.

The result was ruthlessly catchy: a combination of dreaminess and insistence, like a tank disguised as a cloud. The “Aruba, Jamaica” bit was bumped to the beginning for maximum effect; Love managed to work in a reference to cocktails, and possibly (in the line “that Montserrat mystique”) a reference to Baron Tennant’s island folly. Van Dyke Parks parachuted in to arrange the steel pans and play accordion, despite (allegedly) being stiffed by Love on plane fare. Studio saxophonist Joel Peskin (whose professional relationship with the Boys stretched back to 1979’s L.A.) contributed the oddly poignant solo. One name was notably absent: Brian was unable to attend the sessions, possibly due to his doctor’s interference. When he first heard the song on the radio, he didn’t even recognize it as a Beach Boys tune. His solo record had just dropped — deliciously, the opening lines are “I was sittin’ in a crummy movie/With my hands on my chin.”

Released 7/18/88 in advance of Cocktail — with Little Richard’s soundtrack closer “Tutti Frutti” as the B-side — “Kokomo” didn’t get any traction. It was only after moviegoers heard the tune scoring Tom Cruise’s move from New York to Jamaica that it caught on. Despite critical indifference (the movie is Cruise’s worst film Rotten Tomatoes) both Cocktail and “Kokomo” became #1 hits: the former for two weeks, the latter for one. In November, “Kokomo” supplanted Phil Collins’ “Groovy Kind Of Love” at the summit. (Collins, however, got the last laugh when “Two Hearts” beat “Kokomo” for Best Original Song at the 46th annual Golden Globes.)

A couple weeks after “Kokomo” hit #1, the Beach Boys (with Brian) guest-starred in an episode of the sitcom Full House. The climax of “Beach Boys Bingo” features the Tanner clan rockin’ out to a stadium performance of “Kokomo,” then climbing onstage to do “Barbara Ann.” The whole thing was old hat for Full House star John Stamos, who had been the Beach Boys’ ancillary percussionist for a few years by then. (He played steel drums in the “Kokomo” video, but not on the record.) If you watch the scene carefully, you’ll see Brian sporting a “Californians For Dukakis” shirt; Mike, infamously, is a Trump supporter and a contributor to Tipper Gore’s pro-censorship Parent’s Music Resource Center.

Having scored an improbable hit, the Beach Boys pivoted to movie soundtracks for a time. They landed “Still Cruisin’” in Lethal Weapon 2 and the Melcher-written title track for Problem Child; neither went anywhere, and the band returned to the state-fair circuit. “Kokomo” was, it turns out, irreplicable. Its lightweight arrangement and hermetic vibe have proven resistant to imitators: You won’t find many notable covers beyond, say, the Muppets. Its real legacy was in lending its name to a host of bars and resorts across the Caribbean Sea. The Orlando Sentinel found a few in a December ’88 investigation, with Key Largo’s Chamber of Commerce noting that “[w]e are flooded with calls, absolutely flooded. We had six calls on the answering machine this morning and several calls during the day.” Sandals renamed their Montego Bay resort “Kokomo Island” for a while, which must have been a nice two-for-one for the song’s fans.

In time, though, “Kokomo” fever faded, and the men responsible for it are starting to pass on. Carl Wilson died in 1998, John Phillips in 2001, Terry Melcher in 2004, Scott McKenzie in 2012. Mike Love, who has long enjoyed the exclusive rights to tour under the Beach Boys name, is the sole living writer. Last fall, he released a double album, with the second half devoted to re-recordings of Beach Boys classics. “Kokomo” is nowhere to be found. Presumably, he decided not to mess with perfection.

CREDIT: Ron Galella/WireImage

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This Couple Will Make You Rethink the Words “I Love You”

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This Couple Will Make You Rethink the Words “I Love You”

In the same way that two people who are “meant to be” eventually have a way of coming together, so too did this story. I met Jannah Handy and Kiyanna Stewart, founders of BLK MKT Vintage (“a collection comprised of black collectibles, cast-off’s and curiosities, representing the richness of black history and lived experience”), briefly back in February. They supplied the props for the A Different World scene of “Iconic Black Sitcoms of the 90s: A Visual Homage to Their Style and Influence.” Later, during a brainstorm, MR Managing Editor Nora Taylor recommended them for an It’s Kind of a Funny Story — not knowing that they’d suited up the set. But isn’t fate funny like that? So this is the tale of how Jannah Handy and Kiyanna Stewart met and (spoiler, I guess) how they got to this current point in their relationship.

Jannah: We met seven years ago in a social justice training, when we were both administrators at Rutgers University in New Jersey. Of course, just getting to know one another, so we were like, “Where are you from?”

Kiyanna said, “Brooklyn.”

I said, “What part?”

And she said, “East Flatbush.”

I was like, “Oh yeah, me too! East Flatbush.”

She said, “Where in East Flatbush?”

I said my two blocks off of Flatbush, and she said her two blocks, and we come to find out we grew up less than a block and a half away from each other.

Kiyanna: But we didn’t know one another and found each other in New Jersey at a social justice training, of all places.

Jannah: It wasn’t a love-at-first-sight situation. We met; it was cool. But then a mutual friend of ours, Marques, was having foot surgery. We went with him to get this procedure done and both stayed during the whole procedure.

Kiyanna: We bought him food. He was taking care of his niece at the time, so we were picking her up from school, doing homework with her and taking her wherever she needed to go.

Jannah: The day of his procedure, I just remember us having a “long hopes, dreams and goals” type of conversation. I think that really was the spark. That got us going.

Kiyanna: But we didn’t start dating right after that. There was still some time because of where we both were at that point. I was finishing up my graduate program and would be leaving the country for a bit. There were a lot of things that were up in the air for me at that moment.

Jannah: I had just gotten out of a very long-term relationship where we were living together. So I was going through a big transition. I also have a daughter. It wasn’t really an ideal time for a new situation-ship.

Amelia: You guys knew of each other before all this, right? When did you two start noticing one another?

Jannah: I noticed Kiyanna before we officially met. Marques, the same mutual friend who had foot surgery, worked in the same office as me. Kiyanna would win poetry competitions on campus all the time, and I’d tell our friend, “She’s so talented; she’s beautiful. Man, why don’t you introduce me to your friend?”

It’s funny: I would tell Marques, “I’m gonna marry her,” before I knew if she was into women, before we had even really talked. And he would always tell me, “Why don’t you ask her out?” It wasn’t until after his surgery that I thought I was picking up on some vibes, but sometimes straight women like to flirt with gay women, so I wasn’t entirely sure.

Amelia: Did Marques tell you any of the things Jannah said about you, Kiyanna?

Kiyanna: Marques was always bringing information back. He was definitely the bone carrier. I don’t know how much he was telling you, Jannah, but he definitely dropped some hints.

But I was hesitant about jumping into a relationship because of all these other things that were going on for the both of us. There was always an attraction to her — learning about who she was and actually talking to her in depth was just the icing on the cake. I was definitely feeling some energy from her and I was at a point in my life where I was open to leaning in a little closer to my sexual identity. She’s my first queer relationship, but I’ve always held this attraction to women. I was just in a series of hetero relationships with men and hadn’t acted on my queerness.

Eventually I thought, Okay, I’m gonna do this. But I wasn’t thinking, I’m gonna do this and be in a relationship with her. It was more like, I’m gonna just see where this goes. So I asked Marques to send me Jannah’s number.

There were so many common experiences and friends we had, both being from Brooklyn; one of them was this Chinese restaurant called Snyder. Everyone knows it because they have the best fried soy sauce wings. I just happened to be there and I texted her a picture of the spot like, “LOL, look where I am.” For her, that meant something.

Jannah: When I got that picture I was like, “Oooooh I’m in there! She’s thinking about me on a random day!” It’s funny because I told all that stuff to Marques like, “She’s so perfect; she wouldn’t wanna date me.” So I wasn’t really checking for her. To be honest, I thought she was out of my league. For me to get a text, I realized there was a chance. That was a baby step, but a significant one.

Kiyanna: After that, I remember Marques was supposed to come over for dinner and then —

Jannah: Marques and I lived on the same campus, so we got dinner together a lot. One night he said, “Get dressed, we’re going to dinner at 8.” It was 7:45. I didn’t know where we were going, but no questions asked. We got in the car, and he was like, “We’re going to Kiyanna’s.” I was like, “I’ve gotta go change! I gotta get cute now. You can’t just spring this on me!” Usually we’d just go to someplace local, so I had sweatpants on or something.

She was cooking when we got there. I was like, AND she knows how to cook??? That was also the first time I had been to her apartment — Kiyanna’s into interior design, so her apartment was breathtaking because she curated it so well.

The seal though, was Marques’ birthday — he goes all out for his birthday celebrations and he did a series of events for it that year. This was December of 2013. There was a big party, then brunch the following day. After two or three days of going to the same events and then back to the same houses, we just started to hang out on our own.

Kiyanna: This was getting into the spring, so I was finishing up my degree and then leaving late May to bring a group of students to Ghana for the summer. Simultaneously, I applied for a position at the University of Ghana and was considering staying to take it. It was a lot, but Jay and I maintained communication. I didn’t know what the internet connection was going to be like — we didn’t have a definitive answer from the program director, who was my boss. So to Jannah, I was just like, “We’ll talk. We’ll make it work.”

Jannah: Yeah, you were like, “We’ll talk a couple times a month,” or something like that. I was like, “Wait, I thought we were gonna try this out. What do you mean talking a couple times a month?”

Kiyanna: We wound up having internet in the house. We made it work and we talked every day, even with the six-hour time difference. I remember the sun rising for me at six or seven and you were just going to bed.

Caring makes you do it.

Jannah: We would talk for hours — we had no business talking for four or five hours, especially with Kiy’s days starting so early with her students. It was like pulling an all-nighter in college, but daily. Caring makes you do it.

I made her a book when she came back from Ghana. While we were talking throughout the two months, I was taking screenshots. So I took all the screenshots and made them into a little photo book. I would ask all my friends, “Does this make me look like a serial killer, or is this cute?”

Kiyanna: There were like 60 screenshots!

Jannah: And those were the best ones! I probably had hundreds.

Kiyanna: It’s funny because the photos were of me in different places all over the house: I would have a long day and end it talking to Jannah with a bottle of wine in my room. Or I was in the bed with a sinus infection. It was beautiful. She called the book, “Face to FaceTime” and there’s a beautiful poem she wrote at the end.

I also made her a book — before I left — and said I would fill it with poetry while I was away. It’s covered with this map; you can see Ghana on one side and New York on the backside. I calculated the mileage/distance across the ocean and titled it that. So I filled it with poetry while I was away and gave it to her when I got back.

Jannah: I do think you bring out so much creativity in me! I’m a romantic, but I never thought I was a poet. You inspired me to take it to a whole other level. It felt like, “Whoa, I have something to share, and she wants to hear it.” You did that.

Amelia: Did you guys have the “exclusivity” talk?

Kiyanna: It didn’t make sense to be exclusive until I got back. I was away from May to August. We weren’t official and we weren’t acting like we were official either. There were moments where we were both seeing other people in different ways. It wasn’t until August that she asked me and that was that.

Jannah: I was just like, “Are you gonna stop playing and be my girl or what?”

Kiyanna: I’m pretty sure you said that. We have two anniversaries. That day and Marques’ birthday party. So we celebrate every December and August.

Jannah: Since December 2013.

Kiyanna: Our five-year anniversary for Marques’ party in December will be this year, but our four-year anniversary of being exclusive will be in August. It’s complicated every year, especially with the anniversaries being in two different years, 2013 and 2014.

Amelia: Now that we know your romantic story, tell me about how you two started BLK MKT Vintage.

Jannah: Kiyanna was always a collector — like I said, her apartment was gorgeous with all these antiques.

Kiyanna: It was really just a hobby that I picked up from my mom. We’d go to vintage shops, antique shops, pick up stuff off of the side of the street if it was cool and bring it home to decorate our space with it.

Jannah: I wasn’t really into vintage because I thought it was gross. Kiyanna would always go to the thrift store and I was like, “Okay, I like her. A lot. So, I’m gonna go to the thrift store too — I love it! Let’s do it!” So that’s how I got into it, and when Kiy left for Ghana, I would still go to vintage/thrift shops and pick things up. I started my own collection.

When she got back, we’d go to flea markets and thrift stores together. We were like, “We can do this — sell our stuff.” It wasn’t like, “This is going to be a business.” It was a hobby, and we had a lot of stuff. Plus, we figured we could get more stuff if we sold the other stuff. That’s how we got started: first at the Hell’s Kitchen Flea, then Artists and Flea, then Brooklyn Flea. We did that for a couple years. We knew that BLK MKT would be something we enjoyed doing, but didn’t envision how big it could be until a bit later.

Kiyanna: Yeah, there wasn’t a five-year plan when we sat down to talk about what Black Market Vintage could look like. We saw so many couples who did this kind of work together, so it just kind of made sense. We weren’t looking to make a lot of money, but it did seem like we could make some extra money and preserve these really cool things simultaneously.

Jannah: Once we got on that journey, realizing that we would focus on African-American artifacts and realizing they were so few and far between, we started to see that there’s a void in the market in terms of how vintage is defined and whose histories are included, excluded and valued. So we said, “Why don’t we become the collectors that we wished we had and be that source that we wish we could’ve gone to when we first started out?” Once we took on that thinking, the BLK MKT that we know today was born.

Kiyanna: We talked about the void of black vintage or black antiques, but then also, where are the spaces dedicated to that? We have cultural institutions like museums, but what would it look like for there to be a vintage shop and, instead of all of the faces in the artwork, the music and on whatever apparel being white faces by default, they were all black and brown? What would that look like? Because it doesn’t exist. We were just dreaming up things that were not available to us at the moment. BLK MKT has just grown exponentially because our community recognizes that void as well.

Amelia: How do you separate the work stuff from the personal stuff?

Jannah: We’ve grown in that aspect. We’ve realized that BLK MKT is such a poignant vision, and it takes a lot of work behind the scenes to make that vision come out to the world. Our personal stuff shouldn’t be a barrier to the work that we said that we wanted to do with one another.

Communication is important, and so is making sure we’re able to compartmentalize. That’s something we’re working on daily. When we’re not at our best, BLK MKT is not at its best. There are times where we’ve learned the hard way. I think we’ve grown a lot — we haven’t made it to the mountain top yet, but it’s an everyday process for us. We’re evolving.

Kiyanna: The other day over dinner, we were mapping out our summer and what specifically the next few months will look like with all of our travel. We’re popping up at a bunch of summer events, so we have to schedule when we’re going to go to the spa, when we’re gonna have a weekend away and sometimes, when we’re going on a date. Scheduling time for ourselves, downtime and trying to be intentional about our future, is important. If we don’t plan it, it’s easy to say, “Oh, we’re gonna go on a date next week,” or, “We can just go to the spa next month.”

Jannah: I appreciate Kiy for that because that’s something she’s been pushing, making sure that we’re taking time together and practicing self-care.

Amelia: Jannah, you said that you have a daughter. How does having a daughter play a role in your relationship with Kiyanna?

Jannah: My daughter is from a previous relationship. I’m her non-biological mother. She’s seven, turning eight in December. She’s like a real-ass kid. She’s grown. They live 15 minutes from us, so we see her often.

She has a relationship with Kiyanna. In the beginning, I was very selective about when to have them meet and what kind of setting it would be in. Kids always have so many questions, so it was just about navigating that piece. Now it’s at the forming stage, creating those bonds. She’s also at that processing and possessive age: When Kiyanna and I are hugging, she’ll come over and try to get in the middle. It’s cute because she wants me, Mommy J, all to herself, but she’s also developing her own bond with Kiyanna and with Kiy and I as a couple.

Kiyanna: Definitely the testing stage. And she’s so cute. She’s trying to find language for what our relationship is. As she gets older and has more questions, I think that her seeing that she has a unique family will make space for lots of conversations. Some might be challenging, some not so easy, but I think with time and the amount of love/support she has in her life, it’ll help her make meaning of it all.

While Jannah is an amazing mom and was, like she mentioned, very diligent about deciding on the appropriate time to introduce and bring me into their world, and then also bring her daughter back into our world, I had my trepidations at the beginning. I didn’t know if this was going to be permanent. I was protecting myself and being considerate of Jay and Makayla — but I eventually jumped in.

Amelia: Who said “I love you” first?

Jannah: She asked me if I loved her, and I said yes. Then I said, “Do you love me?”

And she said, “I’m not sure yet.”

And I said, “Okay, I take it back.”

Kiyanna: I was like, “You can’t take it back! It’s mine.” I was just trying to be honest.

Jannah: And I was like, “I’m being honest too. Give me that shit back!!” [Laughs]

Kiyanna: I was just trying to be honest and I really wasn’t [sure]. It was just so great in the beginning. You know how the beginnings are. I was scared as hell because of all the things that were up in the air for me — Is this a honeymoon phase, or is this more than that? Am I just going with the butterflies in my stomach? Are these the butterflies in my stomach, or is this how she makes me feel? Is this the choice? What I now know love to be — the choice to be in a space with someone — I wasn’t sure of at the moment.

Jannah: But then the next day she tells me, “No actually, I do love you, I thought about it.” I was like, “What?”

Naturally I had to undo my take-back and told her that, “I’m sticking with it; I love you and I’m not taking it back.”

Kiyanna: No you didn’t.

The next day she was like, “Alright fine, I thought about it, I love you too.” That back and forth is basically us in a nutshell.

Jannah: I did! And I think you felt guilty. The next day she was like, “Alright fine, I thought about it, I love you too.” That back and forth is basically us in a nutshell.

Kiyanna: And then we were saying it pretty regularly after that.

Jannah: When I say, “I love you,” Kiy asks me, “Why do you love me?” Every time.

Kiyanna: Not every time.

Jannah: I try to come up with unique and meaningful responses each time. Like, “…because you are my person,” or, “…because you accept me flaws and all, including leaving the kitchen light on.” There are so many reasons why I love her, I could speak until eternity.

Kiyanna: People say I love you all the time. It’s become a habit. Just something that we say. I also try to be intentional about asking why we love one another when we are not in our best space, when we’ve been arguing or if we’re just having shitty days. “Why do you love me? Why do you want to be here?” Just to recenter. To ground and anchor both of us in that moment. Like, we’re actively making a choice to be here. I don’t ever want to be in a relationship where someone is staying by inertia. Just because. When I ask that, I’m really just trying to get to the intention behind the decision we’re making to embody love.

Jannah: When you first started doing it I was like, “What do you mean, Why? I told you I loved you.” But I do appreciate it when you ask now. Because we can get in that routine sometimes of just saying “I love you” as a salutation, as we’re leaving or hanging up on a call.

Amelia: What’s been a challenge in your relationship?

Kiyanna: For me, I want to say communication, but poor communication is a byproduct of other things. I’ve struggled with anxiety since grad school. For me, that has impacted my communication because sometimes it makes me withdraw and overthink. I used to pull away because I didn’t have the language for it, so it’s hard to tell somebody else when you’re just trying to put together how you’re feeling. It’s something that shows up in a number of ways, both when things are really great and when things are not so great. It’s my personal stuff that I bring to this relationship.

Jannah: And something we talk about a lot is competing needs. You’re a human, you have your emotions, you have your process, you have whatever you’re feeling that day, and it’s not always going to mesh up with the person that you are in the closest proximity with. There are certain realities, and that grounding we were talking about is so important because those competing needs can make you have an attitude, lash out or make you petty, and that impacts different areas of the relationship — including the business.

I think that’s been the most challenging for us — like you said, it’s a byproduct, so it’s not 100 percent communication. But when those things happen, then communication is one of the first things to go. Like, “Ugh, I don’t wanna talk to you,” or we’re beefing: “Damn, I need to be the bigger person right now?” As long as there are two of us, there will always be competing needs, but naming it has been really important for us.

Kiyanna: Just call it what it is. At the beginning, it was hard — I didn’t know that what I was experiencing was anxiety. I thought it was just my mood. I didn’t have the language for it or understand it the ways in which I do now. Naming it meant so much to her.

Jannah: I don’t like confrontation and I don’t like conflict. Kiyanna had to explain it to me because I didn’t really know about anxiety or how it shows up — especially in a relationship. She talked about it being colored glasses; it actually colors the way that she sees, interprets and makes meaning of things. At the very beginning, I didn’t understand it. I was like, ”Why is she mad at me?” Now that I understand how hers shows up, it becomes easier. If I came in and had a bad day, I can voice that. I can say, “Babe, I need this from you.” Let’s talk about it, let’s not mince words, let’s get it out there so we can make informed decisions and move forward.

Amelia: What do you love about one another?

Kiyanna: Jannah is so family-oriented. She’s a people person. She’s got jokes for days. She’s got the warmest smile. Whenever we meet people or are in spaces with other people, she’s the life of the party, the loudest one in the room — but also shy at the same time. Sometimes it’s challenging because she’s much more extroverted than I am, so when I need quiet time and she’s ready to mingle, we’ve got to find balance.

[To Jannah] I love how you mother Makayla and parent her. Your relationship is special. I didn’t understand it at the very beginning, but shortly after I did. You’re creative — the ideas, the brilliance! You are smart as shit. Tons of ideas, some of which are untapped and we’re gonna work on that. The willingness to throw it all out there and show up — those are things that I love about you. And you’re really romantic and thoughtful.

Jannah: You are brilliant. You are all of those things that I was talking to Marques about back in the day, those things that attracted me to you. You were a beacon out of all these people at the social justice training because you glow. Not just physically, not just the melanin (that’s on point, too); you glow. Your creativity seeps out from the way you wear your hair to the way you tie your sneakers. I appreciate the way that glow has rubbed off on me. I’m a little cooler now that I’m with you. I love that you make me feel beautiful. That’s something I haven’t had in my previous relationships. I’m a solid seven, but I can talk folks into thinking I’m a twelve, but you make me feel like a fifty every time. When I’m getting dressed you’re like, “Aye, girl. Come here, witcho fine ass.” So, I love that. I love that authenticity is important to you. That is one of the ways that we stumbled upon BLK MKT because you talk about being authentic even when it’s hard work and others don’t understand it. Your relationship with your students is something that also attracted me to you, because they love you. You have that swag that makes people want to be in your presence.

Amelia: One of my favorite things to ask is: If you could give advice to anyone, who would you give it to, and what would your advice be?

If you say you want to be somewhere and be with someone, doing the work to stay there is the biggest thing. Love is a muscle and a verb.

Jannah: My advice is to anyone who is in a loving relationship. I think the driving force behind our little magic is: If you say you want to be somewhere and be with someone, doing the work to stay there is the biggest thing. Love is a muscle and a verb. You have to work at it and do it every day. Do it in small ways and in big ways. If I’m saying I want to be with you for the rest of my life, I want you to be my wife, I want us to have children, I want this business to flourish, I want five stores in the nation and one overseas — if I say I want all of those things, the only way that will happen is in the everyday interactions. The choices. How am I proving that I’m making this choice to choose you every day?

Kiyanna: That’s beautiful. My piece of advice is also for anybody in a loving relationship: Show up in those relationships authentically and speak your truth. If there are things you need from that relationship, you gotta find a way to articulate it. If there are things you don’t want, you also need to make it plain. Showing up authentically is most important, and it takes work because you have to first know who you are. “What is my identity? What are my values? What’s the shit I’m gonna stand for? What’s the shit I’m not gonna stand for? What does compromise look like?” Those are all things that we should be constantly reevaluating.

Check out BLK MKT Vintage’s website here and follow them on Instagram here.

Photos by Edith Young. Book image via Kiyanna and Jannah. 

[helloworlddemo1122-yahoopar-blog]

Alicia Silverstone Recalls Her Son's Bizarre 'Takeaway' After Watching 'Clueless'

Uhhh… as if?

Alicia Silverstone’s 7-year-old son, Bear, had a strange reaction to watching her hit 1995 film, Clueless. The 41-year-old actress opened up about the experience on Monday night’s Late Show while talking to host Stephen Colbert.

“I took him to see it because it’s at the L.A. cemetery where they show it for 4,000 people,” Silverstone explained. “There were 4,000 people and this huge screen outdoors at night, in a cemetery, very romantic, and there were pillows and rosé.”

While Bear didn’t pick up any of the more mature aspects of the film, he did have a bizarre takeaway from the ‘90s classic.

“The one thing he took away from it, aside from all the things I was worried about, was he kept trying to French kiss me afterwards, which was very sweet,” Silverstone said, while Colbert looked concerned.

“And you said, ‘That is not appropriate?’” Colbert asked.

“I just kept my mouth closed!” Silverstone replied. “That’s what I did. And I just giggled. It’s super sweet.”

“It is super sweet,” a dubious Colbert said.

After a brief pause, Silverstone asked Colbert, “Yeah, are you worried?”

“Nope,” Colbert insisted as the audience laughed.

“It’s fine, he’s not doing it anymore,” Silverstone said. “That’s what his takeaway was.”

On the road to Hana. The feeling I have being with Bear on our adventure is so giddy...divine...so free and I feel so lucky to have carved out this time for us to just be. And being his mom, caring for him, is so sweet and lovely. Sand, rain, all of it. Beach walks at night, paddle boarding on the Hanalei River. The drive from Hanalei to Ke’e Beach-it has a wild and moody feeling. Anini Beach is so calm and nice to swim in with good vibes from the people hanging there. We stopped at the St. Regis for a quick look-the view there is so epic and beautiful...we met some lovely friends and decided to return the next night for some hot tub in the rain action ..chasing kids and hopping back and forth between tub and pools. The oceanside path that runs along the Coconut Coast. So pretty. All with my little man Bear. When he is tired at bedtime he is so insanely cute and has so many stories, thoughts and ideas. I want to savor these nights. I'm a naughty mommy for staying up late cozy in bed chatting and storying with him.

A post shared by Alicia Silverstone (@aliciasilverstone) on Mar 7, 2018 at 11:08am PST

Silverstone is currently playing another eccentric mom, Bonnie, in her new sitcom, American Woman, and recently opened up to ET’s Leanne Aguilera about her son’s impression of the role.

“[My son] came to the set when I was wearing this faux fur and smoking cigarettes and driving this crazy car, and my character -- she went to elocution classes so she speaks very differently than I do or a little different,” Silverstone recalled. “I speak very California lazy, and she has this very refined way of speaking. So I would always say, ‘Darling, darling.’ And so whenever my son asks me, ‘What are you doing?’ I say I’m going to Darling because that’s the only way he remembers what I'm talking about.”

For more from Silverstone, watch the clip below:

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[helloworlddemo1122-yahoopar-blog]

EXCLUSIVE: Why Joey Lawrence Doesn't Want His Kids to Be Child Actors Like He Was

Brothers Joey, Matthew and Andrew Lawrence dominated the '90s sitcom scene as teen heartthrobs, but Joey tells ET he doesn't want his children to get involved in Hollywood quite yet.

Now 40 years old with two daughters -- Charleston, 10, and Liberty, 6 -- Joey knows full well about the pitfalls that can overtake young actors in show business.

PICS: Hollywood's Cutest Kids

"I told [Charleston], 'I don't want you to do this, because you know what happens to 9 out of 10 of these young ladies? They get used and they get spit out and no one remembers them,'" Joey tells ET's Nischelle Turner. "I told her [to] take the example of Ron Howard's daughter. She started a little later. Jennifer Lawrence started a little later. If you're really meant to do this -- and she is amazing -- I'd rather that you enter a little later where you can jump right into the stuff, and people respect you for what you do and not just because you're 11 and you're cute."

America first took notice of Joey on the '80s sitcom, Gimme a Break!, when he was just seven years old. Meanwhile, Matthew, 37, first appeared in Dynasty, and 29-year-old Andy's first TV gig was on Joey's show, Blossom.

ET first met the siblings on the set of their '90s sitcom, Brotherly Love.

"I like it a lot," Andy told us in 1995 about working with his big brothers. "They are the best."

Today, Andy is still grateful for the opportunities his brothers provided for him.

WATCH: Melissa Joan Hart and Joey Lawrence Get 'Hot and Heavy' on 'Melissa & Joey'!

"I had it the easiest, definitely, out of the three of us. I was given my first role," Andy says. "Between the two of them, I always got jobs because they always needed young versions of them. It just so happened that I was close enough it worked -- DNA compatible."

The brothers are still working together, just in a different industry. They're currently pursuing their shared passion for music with their band, Still Three.

"We've always just fooled around, but we never actually put pen to paper and worked on something from beginning to end," Joey says, explaining how the group came to be.

The brothers admitted that their first single, "Lose Myself," was leaked before it was actually finished, but they've been pleased with the positive response.

"We literally did it, like, in one night," Joey admits. "It is a demo. We never really finished it. It's not a fully mastered product, but it was good enough ... The response has been amazing!"

PIC: Joey Lawrence Debuts Unrecognizable Look at the People's Choice Awards

Joey revealed that his biggest musical inspiration comes from late '70s pop, and he's all about making feel-good tunes for fans to vibe out to.

"We can give our points of view. We can have our ideas. We can convey messages," Joey says. "At the end of the day, though, I just want to entertain people. That's it. If we're court jesters out there making people smile and letting them forget what's going on -- because the world's a tough place -- that's all I want to do."

[helloworlddemo1122-yahoopar-blog]

EXCLUSIVE: Why Joey Lawrence Doesn't Want His Kids to Be Child Actors Like He Was

Brothers Joey, Matthew and Andrew Lawrence dominated the '90s sitcom scene as teen heartthrobs, but Joey tells ET he doesn't want his children to get involved in Hollywood quite yet.

Now 40 years old with two daughters -- Charleston, 10, and Liberty, 6 -- Joey knows full well about the pitfalls that can overtake young actors in show business.

PICS: Hollywood's Cutest Kids

"I told [Charleston], 'I don't want you to do this, because you know what happens to 9 out of 10 of these young ladies? They get used and they get spit out and no one remembers them,'" Joey tells ET's Nischelle Turner. "I told her [to] take the example of Ron Howard's daughter. She started a little later. Jennifer Lawrence started a little later. If you're really meant to do this -- and she is amazing -- I'd rather that you enter a little later where you can jump right into the stuff, and people respect you for what you do and not just because you're 11 and you're cute."

America first took notice of Joey on the '80s sitcom, Gimme a Break!, when he was just seven years old. Meanwhile, Matthew, 37, first appeared in Dynasty, and 29-year-old Andy's first TV gig was on Joey's show, Blossom.

ET first met the siblings on the set of their '90s sitcom, Brotherly Love.

"I like it a lot," Andy told us in 1995 about working with his big brothers. "They are the best."

Today, Andy is still grateful for the opportunities his brothers provided for him.

WATCH: Melissa Joan Hart and Joey Lawrence Get 'Hot and Heavy' on 'Melissa & Joey'!

"I had it the easiest, definitely, out of the three of us. I was given my first role," Andy says. "Between the two of them, I always got jobs because they always needed young versions of them. It just so happened that I was close enough it worked -- DNA compatible."

The brothers are still working together, just in a different industry. They're currently pursuing their shared passion for music with their band, Still Three.

"We've always just fooled around, but we never actually put pen to paper and worked on something from beginning to end," Joey says, explaining how the group came to be.

The brothers admitted that their first single, "Lose Myself," was leaked before it was actually finished, but they've been pleased with the positive response.

"We literally did it, like, in one night," Joey admits. "It is a demo. We never really finished it. It's not a fully mastered product, but it was good enough ... The response has been amazing!"

PIC: Joey Lawrence Debuts Unrecognizable Look at the People's Choice Awards

Joey revealed that his biggest musical inspiration comes from late '70s pop, and he's all about making feel-good tunes for fans to vibe out to.

"We can give our points of view. We can have our ideas. We can convey messages," Joey says. "At the end of the day, though, I just want to entertain people. That's it. If we're court jesters out there making people smile and letting them forget what's going on -- because the world's a tough place -- that's all I want to do."