#can't make the wrong call in a high stakes situation and get the crew under your command killed | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

grimark · 22 hours ago

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seivarden "weird coping mechanisms" vendaai is like "i'm having trouble processing my emotions right now so i'm going to engage in service roleplay for the person (ship?) i'm in love with, while the ship (person?) that i'm a lieutenant on board steers me around and speaks through me like a puppet. i find this soothing and reassuring for normal reasons don't worry about it."

#i love you. girl who is Coping.#like. i totally get why she does this #she's still completely fucking unmoored and doesn't trust her own understanding of how the world is supposed to work #w.r.t. class systems and justice and even like. other people's feelings and interiority.#and also doesn't trust her ability to make the right decision.#nor has she yet developed a particularly coherent framework of ethical decisionmaking to replace what she's lost #(or even how to interact with other people without unintentionally pissing them off by acting thoughtless or entitled)#beyond 'i guess i'll just follow breq and do what breq thinks is right because breq is better than me.'#so it's obviously very comforting for her to have that responsibility and autonomy temporarily taken away from her #can't fuck up your whole life or lose your place in the world and the people who are important to you (again)#can't make the wrong call in a high stakes situation and get the crew under your command killed #can't accidentally offend your girlfriend or incur judgement and criticism from your most important person.#you don't have to be perfectly steady or unfailingly proper and just or even particularly nice if you're just doing what ship tells you.#imperial radch

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