#captain shattershield

[oxventurequotes]

dob: i had a chat with the shat

[kaizokuseb]

i love the blades in the dark series but i'm still sad that captain shattershield is forever known in g'eth as a jerk who tried to steal chauncey's girl

[thatbiologist]

Oxventure Novels

Just been re-listening to the Oxventure Campaign (again), and one thing hit me. I wish there was Discworld-esque novellas set in the Realm of G'eth, because I genuinely think it's one of the best fantasy worlds out there.

Got a list of potential ideas:

Bhenbvæg. A series following the misadventures of a young Bhenbvæg (Binbag) as he studies and/or teaches at Lord Potionington’s Academy, only for him to realise he has more druidic ambitions in life. It would end with Binbag becoming the reclusive hermit we all love to hate. 

Strangetide. A series following the beloved scholar, Alfred Strangetide, alongside his two siblings, Russell and Wallace. With each of their archeological and paleontological expeditions ending in disaster; such as:storms, the undead, and intrafamilial academic rivalry. 

Dwarfs. A series following the dwarven cleric, Hengist. With them fighting against the societal expectations of dwarfs, and what it even means to be a dwarf. Simultaneously, this clan is being besieged by goblins and kobolds, and he has to save the day through words instead of violence. 

Paladins are Bastards. A series following the Holy Order of La Dragon D’or, with them trying to maintain order throughout the city of Mistmire, with Captain Shattershield trying to balance his work life, leisure time, and his unsuccessful romantic endeavors. Only for Shattershield to uncover a conspiracy of corruption throughout the once honourable Order.   

The Papier-Mâché Pearl. A series following Katie ‘Pearlhead’ Delacour and her rise to power through the criminal underworld to become the infamous Thief Queen. It shows her brutal exploits through a farcical lens, with her effectively failing upwards. 

If anyone has any other ideas, please reblog and/or comment.

[katgametable]

OX Guild Season 2: Gnome Alone

Written 22 Apr 2025, shortly after relistening, having watched and listened multiple times previously.

At Susette’s house, Egbert has recovered, but Susette and Dob have locked themselves up to work on a secret project. Prudence has brought Egbert an umbrella full of bees, while Corazon feels for kidneys - still one missing. Egbert doesn’t remember much, and is skeptical about Corazon’s claims of a dramatic rescue.

Outside, there are two figures waiting with a funeral pyre and a hot air balloon - Captain Shattershield of the Dragon d’Or and Max of the Global Mounted Paladin Inspectors came to see Egbert off in appropriate style, and are surprised to see him alive. It’s a bit awkward all round. The hot air balloon was for scattering the ashes, but seeing as they have it, they might as well have a little flight. They inflate the balloon while Corazon discusses eating Egbert after his actual death. Egbert reunites with Seal Gaiman, who has tried to escape so many times he’s been fitted with a belled collar, and Max fetches a picnic.

It’s a very, very nice balloon. Corazon tries to resurrect the Beeples, but without Dob Prudence shuts that down. They take flight and drift over fields and mountains. They say nice things about each other, look at clouds, and Corazon takes out a guitar. But then a cloud of magic whipped up by Liliana appears descends upon them. Merilwen casts Wind Wall to try to block the cloud. Liliana speaks through the cloud and says it’s time for them to fall out of the sky and die. Then a swarm of knives tears into the balloon and they start falling. Corazon casts Feather Fall on everyone but Max, who Merilwen clings to, but they still hit hard.

They land in a cavern, the balloon dangling from the rocks above them. Shattershield gets a badly broken leg, and passes out, not in a good way. Egbert casts Cure Wounds, which does improve his condition, but he still needs a splint, which Prudence sorts out, but she splints the wrong leg so Max has to fix it.

There are three tunnels out of the cavern, one of which is occupied by Gnomes. The Gnomes accuse them of being Sharp Folk. Apparently the Sharp Folk have been kidnapping them. Egbert asks if they can help with the Sharp Folk problem in exchange for being shown the way out, and the fact they’ve clearly fallen out of the sky, it’s convincing - enough that the Gnomes just want them to go away. The Gnomes eat a packed dinner and explain that they have a community under the mountain, and two or three a week have been going missing for the past few months, always at night, on one occasion leaving signs of a struggle. The Guild offers to lay traps, but the Gnomes have already hurt themselves on traps so they veto that. They decide to gather all the Gnomes in the gymnasium for defensive purposes.

The gymnasium has four entrances. The Guild consider what the Sharp Ones might be, and theorise they might be something that eats the Gnomes. Prudence proposes making barricades of scimitars, and they all pick entrances to defend. Merilwen casts Spike Growth on hers, Corazon Grease on his, and Egbert prepares Nature’s Wrath, an Entangle-like spell.

As the night draws on, Corazon hears something down his passage, so he Disguises Self as a Gnome and wanders off, singing a song about being a Gnome, and runs into a pack of Kobolds, who accuses him of being a Snaffler. Corazon keeps pretending to be one of the Gnomes and accuses them of being Sharp Ones. Corazon deduces that there must be a third party, who is both Snaffler and Sharp One. The Kobolds decide to talk to the Gnomes and leads them to the gymnasium. Unfortunately the Gnomes don’t like Corazon’s disguise, but he managed to talk them into agreeing to talk to the Kobolds.

Notes from Part One pre-show podcast commentary: Jane is joined by Andy and Mike. Andy pretends Mike wrote an email criticising Luke’s DMing abilities and refusing to take part in it, when actually Mike was on paternity leave, and that is why Luke wasn’t there for Gnome Alone. They talk about Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms and announce upcoming MCM appearances. Mike feels intimidated about returning to live shows, and says he’ll have to relearn the rules. Andy’s been playing Psychonauts and Ace Attorney; Mike has reassembled his sim racing rig. They talk about gaming videos, wrestling, and pumpkin spice lattes.

Notes from Part One post-show podcast commentary: Jane recalls the strange experience of finding she’d said “umbrella full of bees” rather than “balloon full of bees”. Mike assures them Egbert’s been feeding his bees. They giggle over eating Egbert, and comment on the return of Shattershield and Max. They were very intimidated by Liliana – Egbert got the same scare the others did in Tower Rangers. They cover game videos again and Sonic’s 30th Anniversary.

The Gnomes and Kobolds spend nearly two hours accusing each other of being the kidnappers, but finally they agree a truce, and work out which bits of the cave the mysterious third party might live in. The Oxventurers set off into the unexplored portions of the cave network – Shattershield is left with the Gnomes, but Max accompanies them and commits the route to memory. They find a young Gnome called Shed has followed them, but when Ellen makes a pun, Johnny kills off Shed.

They find a large cavern and Corazon, still disguised as a Gnome, strides out, singing a dumb song. Then he critical one’s a INT saving throw, and finds himself frozen in place. He sees a shadowy figure appear and disappear, then the freeze ends and he falls over. Prudence asks what his strange stopping was about, but all Corazon can tell them is that his mind was messed with. They head the way Corazon saw the shadow go, and Prudence casts Detect Magic. She finds some sort of residual magic, but can’t perceive much. Out of the blue, Johnny calls to roll for initiative.

Something peels of the wall and bites Prudence’s shoulder, a sort of spiky humanoid Corazon identifies as a Troglodyte, and kills it easily, making a shish kebab of organs Egbert then eats – but there are more Troglodytes. The fight continues, but when the Troglodytes are nearly eliminated, they flee, and the Guild chase them. As they chase, they see two more Troglodyte with a struggling Gnome each under their arms. Then the passage opens into a cave, on a ledge with a pit in the middle. The Gnomes are tossed in alongside a Kobold. Elsewhere, a Kobold is being held by a humanoid with a mouth made of tentacles, a Mindflayer, who devours the Kobold’s brain. The Mindflayer looks up and sees them.

Prudence proposes negotiating with the Mindflayer and handing over the Gnomes and Kobolds in exchange for being led out of the caves. Prudence starts talking to it in Common and Infernal. But it tells them is speaks Undercommon and Deep Speech, so Corazon casts Comprehend Languages. It refuses to stop killing the Gnomes and Kobolds. Corazon doesn’t really want them killed, so he goes straight for stabbing it in the brain. Combat recommences.

There’s some good hits, but Prudence is conflicted about fighting something so Cthulhu-shaped; not that it stops her Eldritch Blasting. They take some pretty hard hits. Corazon gets his mind flayed a bit, but Prudence kills and beheads the Mindflayer – Cthulhu approves. Max has rescued the prisoners and leads them back to the Gnomes’ gymnasium, Merilwen sealing up the cavern with the Troglodytes behind them.

The Gnomes and Kobolds are horrified by the Mindflayer head and Prudence’s tales and want them out ASAP. Shattershield is somewhat impressed by the report Max brings of Egbert’s conduct. The Gnomes and Kobolds chase them out.

Notes from Part Two pre-show podcast commentary: Andy and Luke have taken over from Jane. They’re a little perturbed by numerous games being released in fairly short order – Andy speculates they might have been on the Evergiven, the ship that got stuck in the Suez Canal. They talk a little about things they’ve been watching. Andy proposes some “Oxventure What Ifs?” Luke can’t remember why he couldn’t join in Gnome Alone, but he likes the explanation for why Dob wasn’t there.

Notes from Part Two post-show podcast commentary: Andy reveals that a Mindflayer could insta-kill, and Luke is jealous he missed it. Andy imagines that in the aftermath of the mind flaying, some of his taste sense get mixed up. They’ve also recovered a bit of audio recording of them all discussing the adventure in the immediate aftermath. They discuss new videos, and that Corazon and Dob are participating in an Oxventure crossover with High Rollers (I’ll have to dig that one out).

Post-session debrief: Everyone was thrilled about the Mindflayer. Johnny explains how it can eat your brain. And it was about to escape to another plane of existence. They also talk about verbal slip-ups and Lord of the Rings references, and decide to name it Gnome Alone.

Hmm. Not sure how much I like this one, maybe 7/10? There were just a few moments of getting stuck on jokes, and I did find the squabbling between Gnomes and Kobold frustrating – although I was probably meant to. I did like Shattershield returning and starting to respect Egbert. I like the idea of Prudence mounting a Mindflayer head on the wall in her bedroom in Necropolis-on-Sea. Oh, and Liliana’s brief appearance? Some pretty terrifying implications.

Yeah, it was a good one.

[sparrowsarus]

Top five Ravengard-related AUs (all cry surprise!)

Also top five Swedish birds.

People out here pitting bad bitches against each other. We will do these in separate posts.

Ravengards!

Wyll, Dragon Sorcerer. His dad is pacted to Ansur and Wyll gets to have all those fun magic powers about it, cause fuck Mizora

Terminaire-adjacent, wherein Ansur had four children, who became the guardian dragons of both the Gate and the four founding patriar families: Caldwell, Shattershield, Tillerturn, and Eltan. One Blaze Ulder Ravengard marries one Dragon Captain Francesca Eltan, resulting in one future dragon captain Wyll Eltan-Ravengard 3. Harper Wyll!! Sniffing out Gortash before he sells out Karlach, Wyll and Karlach being best friends and getting married about it, the utter glee from the mental image of Jaheira being called "Grandmother" by Wyll and Karlach freaking out. 4. This one is more canon divergence, but Roleswap! Ulder Ravengard finds himself pacted to a devil to save his city, and it is Wyll, freshly returned from his very first solo diplomatic mission, who must say Go. Wyll becomes a duke, Ulder becomes the "mad ranger" because he keeps talking to his Dire Raven like it's a bloody person. (Plot twist: it is) 5. Another roleswap! Wherein Ulder is the guildmaster, Astele Keene is the marshal, and they hatefuck about it. Then Ulder gets married to Francesca, and then Wyll happens. And then Orin happens, but differently, and it's all very alarmingly domestic.

[a-casual-egg]

I felt the need to write this after the most recent episode

—————————————————���———————————

Merilwen tries to meditate but is unable by the nervous knocking at her door. She opens her door annoyed and looks up to see a Dragonborn nervously fiddling with his hands.

“Hey, Merilwen. I know you probably don’t want to talk right now but can we have a chat, on the deck?”

Merilwen studies Egbert’s face. The grin is obviously more nervous than genuine and he can’t meet her eyes.

“Alright, lead the way.” Merilwen answers, gesturing with her arm to the deck.

Egbert walks to the side of the ship and looks up at the stars as he waits for Merilwen to get there with her much shorter legs.

“So, what’s wrong?” Merilwen asks

“Heh, that’s what I should be asking you” Egbert responds

“What?” Merilwen questions

“I know you’re upset with me but being the oaf I am I don’t know why.”

“Oh, well, I guess I was upset that you know how to do two of my spells.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, because animals and moon stuff is my thing.”

“Well, fire is my thing.” Egbert mutters

Merilwen pauses. She’s heard Egbert ask if he was chopped liver or look sad when Merilwen produced flame but she thought it was all a joke. That he was chill with it like most things, not silently upset or having any negative reaction to it.

“I-I didn’t know you felt that way, Eggs.”

“There’s a lot of things you guys don’t know about me”

“Like what?”

“I know you all find me super annoying and always want me to shut my mouth whenever I open it. How I’m a fool that doesn’t know shit but I’m kept around so there’s always someone to laugh at. I know you’re all incredibly cool and powerful and I’m worthless in comparison.”

Merilwen is taken aback by Egbert’s response. She’s always thought Egbert was happy-go-lucky and indifferent to most things and chill and, and not like this.

She places a hand on his arm and runs her thumb back and forth over a patch of scales.

“I’m so sorry Egbert. Have you talked to any of the others about this?”

“Why would they care? Why do you care? I’m just a jester for your amusement.”

“Egbert the Careless! We care about you! You’re more than what you think! You’re funny obviously, but you’re so many other things! You’re smart, strong, loyal, you’re always being a beacon of happiness for others to look up to. Egbert you’re more than a friend, you’re family. If you’re feeling down you can always talk to us.”

“That’s sweet and all, but that’s what Chauncey and Shattershield say and I can’t talk to them about it either.”

“Why not? Isn’t Shattershield you’re dad?”

Egbert laughs almost like it hurts him, “He can definitely act like my dad, but he’s really just my mentor. I used to be a human, remember? Anyway, If I try to talk to Chauncey about it he’ll just make jokes until I stop because it’s uncomfortable for him and Shattershield is . . . Well, he’s Shattershield.”

“What does that mean?”

“Shattershield is a big rough and tough captain who fights on the frontlines and knows what actual pain is and feels like. Me going to him about this would be like someone bleeding out ‘cuz a limb was cut off and someone who’s got a papercut is saying it’s the same level of pain.

“Pyshical health is just important as mental health, Egbert.”

“And you’ve already got an 8-pack and I’d say that means your physical health is pretty good so why not work on mental health?”

“But how do I even do that?”

“Well, usually you do something for yourself. When was the last time you did something just for you? Really treated yourself?”

Egbert opens his mouth to answer but closes it and really thinks on it. Merilwen watches him, concern written all over her face.

“Well, I colored in a whole coloring book.”

“That’s good!”

“When I was like 10.”

“Oh.”

Egbert looks back up at the stars to distract himself from the awkwardness just created.

“You haven’t done anything else for yourself? What about your bombs? Don’t you enjoy the process in making those?”

Egbert sighs, “well yeah I do, but I just try to make them better than the last one I’ve made so it doesn’t feel like it’s for me. It feels like I’m only making them for battles.”

“Ok, well you just gotta focus on making a bomb and get into the zone and not worry about improving them. They’re real good the way they are now.”

“Thanks, Mer”

“Now, self care is also buying things for yourself, like stuffed animals. Do you have any of those?”

Egbert walks over to his cabin and Merilwen follows. He pushes the door open to reveal a clean practically untouched bed almost covered with pillows and stuffed animals at the top.

“Oh my”

“Yeah, and the other half is at Necropolis on the Sea.”

“That’s good. You can cuddle them while you slee- Wait, you don’t even sleep in your bed. You sleep in the magazine.”

“That’s right.”

Do you bring any of them down there?”

“No, I don’t want them to get lost or dirty.”

“Ok. Do you ever lay here with all of them?”

“Well, sometimes . . . When I need to cry my eyes out.” Egbert says looking away from his elf friend.

“Oh, sweetheart” Merilwen squeezes Egbert’s hand. “Do you wanna lay down now?”

Tears form in Egbert’s eyes and he squeaks, “yes, please”

They lay in the bed and Egbert holds tightly onto a stuffed cow. Merilwen pets his hair-scales and sings him a song in elvish as he cries. He assumes it’s a lullaby, this might be the first time anyone’s sung one to him. God he feels like such a baby. It feels bad and good at the same time. He’s never been babied before. It’s always been work and training and seeking redemption. Never cuddles and reassurance just you can do betters and try harders. It’s weird, but again not in bad way. This is what he missed out on and that sucks but at least he’s getting it now.

Egbert feels himself drift to sleep and he lets it happen.

The next morning he wakes to find out he’s been tucked in and a glass of water has been put on his bed side table with a note. He picks up the note and reads it.

“Hi Egbert, the others and I are going on a quest we should be back before nightfall.

P.S. I told Corazón to leave your things be (he was impressed by the abundance of stuffed animals you have)

- Merilwen”

He smiles to himself. At the the very least one person cares about him.

[bellewyn-mountainheart]

Entry One

I’ve finally found a group of adventurer’s willing to party with me! I worried it would take a long time, but it seems by the All-Father’s great wisdom that we were destined to meet. Admittedly, I was kind of nervous. Especially when I had to explain my little run-in with the wolves a few weeks ago. I think Captain Shattershield will never let me live that one down… ((She has drawn a frowny face here.))

My new friends are quite interesting and (relatively) welcoming though! I guess meeting new people is a sight more awkward out here than it was back in the temple or the Stonewatch.

I met Aratir first at the job board outside the tavern. He’s a great big half-orc man, kind of scary at first sight but that could just be me. I haven’t met a half-orc in person before, but he seems pretty nice! His voice gets loud sometimes though... ((She has doodled a stick figure that could possibly be a likeness of Aratir happily shouting here.))

Soon after that I was introduced to the others. There is Quin’lea, a very pretty and earthy elf, who is so very kind to me. She seems to know a whole lot about nature and wears a really pretty feather in her hair. She likes candied apples too! ((Here Belle has drawn a stick figure of Quin’lea licking a candied apple.))

Finally I met Gwendrial, another elven woman though she’s a bit more rough around the edges. She’s pretty tough and kinda grumbly, but she was still welcoming to me all the same. For some reason when I talk to her I think about my brother, Flintar. I hope we can find common ground and become best friends! ((She’s drawn a stick figure of Gwendrial with a grumpy face drinking a mug of ale.))

We’re on our first job together now, camping outside this super creepy decrepit mansion. Supposedly the local Lord’s brother has been kidnapped and taken here. I hope we can get him out alive. Maybe these bandits will take to negotiation instead of fighting? I guess we’ll find out soon!

[oxventurequotes]

johnny/shattershield: uhm... what are you all doing now? because-

prudence: are you asking us all out, mr shattershield?!

corazon: i’m up for whatever...