#ch: sigrun larsen

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Sigrun Larsen: Hey, we could team up. Bi-curious and The Virgin.

Aksel Eide: That’s the world’s saddest crime-fighting duo.

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Ingrid Pedersen: Sigrun, please keep an eye on Aksel today. He's gonna say something to the wrong person and get himself punched.

Sigrun Larsen: Sure, I'd love to see Aksel get punched.

Ingrid: Try again.

Sigrun: I will stop Aksel from getting punched.

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Aksel Eide: I just got a new notebook, what should I put in it?

Sigrun Larsen: Put spaghetti in it.

Aksel: I’m taking suggestions from anyone else.

Gøran Andersen: Put spaghetti in it.

Aksel: I’m taking suggestions from anyone except you two.

Ingrid Pedersen: Put spaghetti in it.

Aksel: I’m no longer taking suggestions.

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Aksel Eide: Why must you always attack me with words?

Sigrun Larsen: You want me to use rocks?

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Sigrun Larsen: Fine! Then I guess we're boyfriend and girlfriend!

Aksel Eide: On one condition!

Sigrun Larsen: What?

Aksel Eide: I get to be the boyfriend!

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Ingrid Pedersen: Just be yourself. Say something nice.

Sigrun Larsen: Which one? I can't do both.

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Sigrun Larsen: About a month ago, I accidentally slept with Aksel.

Ingrid Pedersen: Really?

Sigrun: Yes.

Ingrid: You accidentally slept with Aksel.

Sigrun: Yes.

Ingrid: Accidentally.

Sigrun: Yes.

Ingrid: I don't understand. Did you trip over something?

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Gøran doesn’t have a life plan. He doesn’t have a day plan. I once found a note that he wrote to himself that said, 'Put on pants', followed by a question mark.

Sigrun Larsen

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Aksel Eide: Now that you mention it, Ingrid and Gøran are missing.

Sigrun Larsen: What's missing is your brain.

Aksel: [weakly] Is not.

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Seriously, just because my facial hair’s not as luscious as yours doesn’t mean I can’t still kick your ass.

Sigrun Larsen (to Gøran Andersen)

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Berit Eide: So how long have you two been together?

Aksel Eide: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sigrun and I are not together, grandma. No. No.

Sigrun Larsen: Really? Sixteen 'no's? Really?

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Aksel Eide: I have fallen...

Sigrun Larsen, enthusiastically: Are you hurt?

Aksel: I wasn't finished.

Sigrun: Finish.

Aksel: I have fallen in love with you.

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Gøran Andersen: Help me with this crossword puzzle. I need a five-letter word... For disappointment.

Sigrun Larsen: Aksel.

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Aksel Eide: You know, they say when a girl constantly rips on a guy, it really just means she has a crush on him.

Sigrun Larsen: Yeah, but I wasn't ripping on a guy... I was ripping on YOU.

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Aksel Eide: Did you just agree with me?

Sigrun Larsen: Oh, I wanna take it back.

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Aksel Eide: Please, stop staring at me like that. Undressing me with your eyes.

Sigrun Larsen: I’m adding more clothes, Aksel.