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sapphicrot · 1 year ago

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Rot Au Explanation!

(and an introduction to my OCs and stuff!!)

I’m making this little intro post to put most of my rot au thoughts in one place! The tag on my blog is #rot au, but some of the older info is probably outdated at this point. I ALSO LOVE ASKS ABOUT IT!! I like replying to them with little comics sometimes so feel free to send some my way :D

Finally: TW for Manipulation, toxic as fuck relationships, SOOOO much murder, no one in this AU is a good person at all!!

Becoming increasingly frustrated with his citizens treating him like “Moon but worse”, Pebbles goes to Sig for help—he wants to be able to retaliate, or at least throw them out of his chamber when they’re being especially insulting, but he can’t do that with the taboos placed in his code. These restrictions are physically painful to break, in order to keep their artificial gods in check. Above all hangs one taboo so deeply encoded in them that rumor says if you even think of breaking it for too long, you’ll shut down from how overclocked your systems become from the pain: the altering of one’s own genome.

Much to his chagrin, Sig is the best bioengineer Pebbles knows, and probably the only one crazy smart enough to pull this off. Sig is reluctant at first, knowing how dangerous and nigh impossible such a task will be, but eventually is convinced, agreeing to help give advice and nothing else. Pebbles agrees, and they get to work.

...And it fucking works.

There are 2 main local groups: 037 (Moon's group), and 1650 (Sliver's group). In descending order of age, they are:

Looks to the Moon - (she/her) Group Senior of local group 037. One of the oldest still functioning iterators, softspoken and kind, despite the fact some other seniors might consider that a weakness. She tries to take care of her citizens and work on the great problem, but she can’t really bring herself to care much about it anymore, after working on it for so long. She is incredibly caring to her group, but she does know when to put her foot down, though she has never found it in her to use her seniority privileges against one of her group members, as she considers them a violation of their autonomy. Sig’s partner.

Seven Red Suns - (he/xe/they) Second oldest of local group 037. Close to Moon in age, which means their emotional AI is not quite as advanced as those younger than him, which can lead to issues when they are trying to understand their own and others’ feelings. He does his best though, and is generally a dedicated and agreeable member of the group, though they’re kind of aloof until Pebbles is constructed. They are active in the politics of their city, mostly as someone to give advice and guidance, rather than a leader.

Sliver of Straw - (she/her) Group Senior of local group 1650. One of the youngest seniors there is, she’s closer in age to Sig than she is to Moon. This makes her highly insecure, and she is determined to “prove” to everyone that she is a capable Senior. This leads to her being very strict with her group, as she wants someone within it, or herself, to find the solution in order to show her worth as a leader.

Once Stagnant Opportunity - (she/her) “Second in Command” of local group 1650, she’s basically Sliver without the inferiority complex. A bioengineering-focused facility, mostly specializing in creating things to make her citizens’ lives easier. She doesn’t give a shit what others think of her, and speaks her mind freely, aside from around Sliver herself, who she pretends to like but is actually insanely jealous of. She thinks she could be a better leader than Sliver ever could be, and resents her for it. (OC)

Echos of Indigo - (he/she/they) Member of local group 1650. Very soft spoken and shy, his self esteem is in rubicon from being bullied by OSO (and Sliver) after being put online. Their facility is a nature reserve, which has some of the very last natural, unpurposed biodiversity left. OSO specifically does not respect her because she thinks preserving such things is a waste of time. He tries his best. Kinda a “mom friend” to ABL, and really wishes he had some friends his age. (OC)

Chasing Wind - (he/him) Member of local group 1650. Rules his city like a dictator, due to being terrified of his own citizens taking advantage of him, so he took initiative with a “hurt them before they hurt you” mentality. He doesn’t trust his group members further than he can throw them, and suffers with some paranoia. Sig is very close to him though, they were put online within 50 cycles of one another. Sliver HAAATES this, because she thinks Sig is a lazy asshole and doesn't want her “distracting” Wind. He doesn’t particularly care, though, because he can actually let himself chill out around Sig.

No Significant Harassment - (she/he/it) “Second in Command” of local group 037. An advanced medical facility with a specialization in bioengineering, and the northernmost iterator in her group, her can is in an extremely cold area. Doesn’t give much care to the great problem, prefers to spend his time goofing off. Is considered the “Second in Command” because Moon trusts her a bit more than Suns, as they’re closer. Has a generally laid back and sarcastic personality. Moon’s partner.

Pleading Intellect - (they/them) Member of local group 1650. Built near EOI, their city has become a tourist destination because of the beautiful climate around them. Their chamber is a glass box in the middle of the city, so visitors can watch them iterate and even ask them questions. They are constantly tired due to this, since they have to be running at 100% around the clock, as they’re always being watched. Their city is the richest in the local group, and their puppet is decorated in gold and jewels to reflect that, and for the delight of tourists. Friends with Sig, Wind, and Pebbles.

Unparalleled Innocence - (she/they) Member of local group 037. While she can be a little bit of a brat, she’s a very dedicated caretaker for her city. She enjoys her citizens’ celebrations and rituals, and is generally content being their iterator. Her can is an industrial facility, and manufactures a lot of machinery for her local group and others. She’s quite popular among the iterator populous, friends/on good terms with most around her. ABL is very close to them.

Alienated by Light - (they/them) Member of local group 1650. The youngest of the group, has yet to be crushed by the futility of the great problem. Loves their citizens, and their city is very religious. They are a bit of a kiss-ass to the older ones of their local group, as they desperately want to be accepted and liked by their peers. Sliver and OSO just find them annoying, though. They consider themself close friends with Indigo (who keeps them at arms length at best), but UI is genuinely close with them, and they have a developing crush on her. (OC)

Five Pebbles - (he/him) Youngest member of local group 037. Built as a support structure for Moon, so her systems wouldn’t have to strain themselves trying to keep up with caring for her citizens. His construction was tumultuous, as there was heavy political opposition and even a couple attempted attacks in order to stop it, though obviously it didn’t work. Cycles later, he still can’t seem to shake being referred to as the “Apostate Superstructure Abomination” in certain political circles. He is deeply frustrated by this, and becomes disillusioned with his purpose rather quickly. He becomes close with Suns when he tries to distance himself from Moon, who he is constantly being compared to.

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Once Sig and Pebbles manage to alter their genome, things seem fine for a couple cycles, or well, at least for them. They start distributing the code they created to a small group of friends/iterators they know are frustrated with their situation, unknowingly dooming them to a slow, painful death from the rot. Word gets out eventually about what Sig and Pebbles have done, especially once Pebbles starts “retaliating” (killing) his citizens when they annoy him too much. Cue absolute fucking panic.

Their citizens freak the fuck out. Their iterators, their homes could literally decide to just betray them at the drop of a hat. Political mayhem ensues, among both iterators and their citizens. Some of their citizens immediately go to groveling at their iterator’s feet, begging them not to infect themselves, while some lobby for trying to reason with Sig and Pebbles and the rest of those who have gone rogue, to work out a solution that would satisfy both of them. Some want to shut the entire iterator project down. Meanwhile, on the iterator side of things, workgroups are created, with some wanting to work to reverse/talk Pebbles and Sig down, some secretly gathering in hushed whispers to voice their wishes to go rogue themselves, and some are trying to figure out how to kill the traitors. Sliver is a part of one of those groups:

This is where Wind comes in. Wind is Sig’s best friend, put online about 50 cycles before her. Wind is part of Sliver’s group, and she absolutely despises their relationship, considering her contempt for Sig. However, this doesn’t stop them from goofing off together, as Wind really only drops his stoic and standoffish personality around her. He is incredibly paranoid, and distrustful of his own group (considering how Sliver continuously tries to prevent Wind from having fucking friends), as well as his citizens. When he realizes his citizens could be planning to shut him down, he tightens the reins on them even further, as he was already basically a strict dictator beforehand. He thinks that because of his treatment of them, his citizens absolutely want him dead, so he locks down his city and turns it into a literal surveillance state.

While this is happening, Sig notices something bad. They’ve got the fucking rot. Since they’ve already created so much chaos, they decide to keep it a secret, as they think they can just cure it as quick as they can and just sweep it under the rug, and no one will be any the wiser. Yeah that doesn’t work. When Moon notices that Pebbles shut the dams between their shared water supply, using more water, and has been acting very strange and distant, she goes to Sig because she knows they’ve been hanging out and Pebbles may have disclosed something to him that she doesn’t know. When Sig is similarly cagey, she asks for a diagnostic sweep of his systems. Sig refuses. Moon uses her seniority privileges, something she has never done before, to force Sig to send her the equipment manifest, and the truth is revealed: Sig and Pebbles are horrifically sick. Sig didn’t even realize the extent, as the rot has begun to hide and warp information they can collect from their structures.

Upon learning that Sig and Pebbles have given themselves the fucking rot, Suns completely cuts both of them off. He refuses to speak to either of them, because they’re scared that they could become convinced to “join them”, and this hurts Pebbles deeply. At the same time, Sig becomes distracted trying to convince Wind to infect himself (which I’ll come back to in a minute), and Pebbles is left feeling betrayed and alone.

Pebbles, despite his contempt for his citizens, actually really enjoys their culture. He thinks that when they aren’t being led by corrupt and rich assholes, they are a very interesting species and likes documenting and learning about them. He’s always been friendly with Pleading Intellect, who if you remember, is very involved in their citizens’ celebrations and daily life, so they begin to talk, growing closer. PIn eventually even begins to develop a crush on Pebbles, which spoiler alert, does not end well, like most things in this god awful au.

The way that seniority privileges work is that a senior can only use them on their own group. This means that Sliver cannot do jack shit to Sig or Pebbles, but she is going to try her damndest to figure out how to be able to extend her seniority to them. Sig knows this, and comes to the conclusion that he has to kill her before she kills him. This leads to him trying to convince Wind to infect himself so he can alter his own code to basically give himself seniority privileges and brain blast Sliver into oblivion. Sig uses the fact that Wind is already deeply paranoid against him, and he is eventually convinced, and the two end up killing Sliver:

This is what finally knocks some sense back into Sig. She realizes that HOLY FUCK WIND WE ABSOLUTELY FUCKED UP, and begins to desperately scramble to find a cure. Because Pebbles is still pissed at her, he refuses to help him, and even goes so far as to contact Suns again…who accepts the message. They start talking again, and out of an act driven mostly by the rot’s manipulation of Pebbles, he sends Suns the virus in a compromised message, and now Suns is infected. Sig is fucking PISSED. Why the hell would Pebbles fucking SPREAD THE ROT TO YET ANOTHER GROUP MEMBER, and also LEAVE HER TO DO ALL THE WORK WHILE HER SYSTEMS ARE DETERIORATING RAPIDLY?! Unfortunately, Pebbles has basically completely stopped fighting against the rot’s takeover of his mind and body, and pretty much succumbs to its whims.

This leaves Sig on her own. Moon and Wind try to help, though Wind has become so paranoid due to the rot feeding into that delusion he eventually shuts everyone out. Moon and Sig quickly realize that Sig barely has control of his structure anymore, and any and all attempts to run experiments or simulations of a cure come back with an error message near immediately. Moon knows that while Sig’s systems are very advanced, there’s no way that these errors are being processed this quickly, and the rot is manipulating his systems into not letting her hurt it whatsoever.

Meanwhile, the rot feeds on Suns’ love for Pebbles and twists it into a horrific jealousy/obsession. When they find out about PIn’s crush on Pebbles, he becomes incredibly angered by it, and one night while Pebbles is visiting PIn, they show up, grab Pebbles, and erase his memories of PIn right in front of them. PIn freaks the fuck out, and goes to Moon for help, and this is how Moon learns just how insane Suns and Pebbles have gone. This is getting bad!

PIn eventually goes to Wind and asks for the code to infect themself. They realize that even on the slim chance Sig and Pebbles and everyone else were to be cured, nothing would ever be the same again. They are already worked to the bone by their citizens due to being watched by them nearly 24/7, and they just want some damn sleep. Wind gives it to them.

Sig is also completely losing her grip on reality. The rot knows how hard Sig is trying to fight it, and begins just fucking melting her neurons, giving him what he wants (which are basically just hallucinations of Moon), to pacify him and stop him from focusing on attempting to find a cure.

Upon learning about what Suns has done to her brother, Moon tries to contact them, begging Pebbles to come to his senses, and eventually tries to use her seniority privileges on both of them to get a response, and this is what finally makes Suns snap. Moon comes over to Pebbles’ chamber right in the middle of him erasing Pebbles’ memories of Moon and Sig. Panicking, Moon tries to get Sig to come over, to help, to do ANYTHING, but it’s too late. Pebbles doesn’t even know who they are anymore.

Moon tries to use her privileges again to stop Suns, shut them down, get them to stop feeding Pebbles lies about Sig and Moon, but this just pisses off Suns more. Sig tries to defend Moon from them, but at this point he’s so weak a light breeze could have probably killed her, so Suns is easily able to kill her.

And then kills Moon too.

The end :3

And that's the basic explanation! Horrible, isn't it? :D

#rain world #rain world downpour #rain world au #rain world iterator #iterator oc #rot au #my art #rw #wow look i have actual ocs!!

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endermaybe · 10 months ago

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I loved reading the "From Eden" story, written by @aquaquadrant and the accompanying art by @lunarcrown. I keep thinking about the story/world, so I decided to be kind to myself and write it out, so at least my thoughts will be organized.

Or so I thought. It turned out to be more of a ramble than a coherent piece of text. I'm not gonna do it to myself to check and clear up everything, it's supposed to be a fun write, not a chore. I've made a lot of (obvious) observations and asked a lot of questions, but that's me just 'thinking out loud'. And I knew it would be long, but I hadn't expected it to be this long. I'm not sure if anyone will be interested in reading all of it, but here it is anyway.

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I love it, and everything about it.

I love the whole "Hells to Pay" universe. I love how alive the universe feels while at the same time it still feels very much like Minecraft. I love how it has very much game logic while at the same time having very real stakes and dangers.

I love the characters, both the ones based on youtubers and the original ones. The first category are clearly recognizable with their way of speaking and mannerisms and the latter seem just as well developed. I love how everyone has depth. Everyone has strengths and weakness, even if it's not always obvious. No one is fully good and even the worst characters have some good qualities. And everyone has the ability to change and learn, for better or for worse, but only if they choose so.

I love the writing. The way it's structured makes it fun and easy to read. The wording very much supports the world and it's characters. I love how it lingers on some moments and quickly goes over others, it feels very natural. And though I am the kind of person that wants to know anything about a universe/story they love, I do think that the amounts of exposition and explanation are great. More would probably hinder the telling of the story itself. And I love all the extra bits of the world told through answering other peoples asks.

I love the art. Everyone is unique and easy recognizable. The bodylanguage and faces are really expressive. It's great to see. Beside that, it's also an artstyle that I just really enjoy.

So onto more details of the story. A LOT more details, I basically did another deep read to make sure I didn't miss anything. Spoilers I guess for anyone who hasn't read the story but somehow did find this post.

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Lunarcrown's into comic looks amazing. It also wonderfully shows what kind of world Hels can be and the nightmare that is Tango's life. When I found the story, this intro was enough to get me hooked.

I think it's funny that the first part of an eleven chapter story (of which two are two-parters) is called a one-shot in the authors notes. I mean, I'm not a native English speaker and all that, but I don't think that's correct. Was it intended to be a stand-alone story? Had it been the plan for the AU to be told through short stories?

It's a small thing but I like how every new chapter/place is introduced by "Somewhere in [insert world], a player [is introduced, doing something]", with very minimal variations. It's a nice returning bit, through the whole story.

The way Tango's imprisonment is described is chillingly beautiful. It's horrific, but at the same time almost casual. But that's what is has become for Tango: just another day. In the same way, the manner of escaping is grueling, showing clearly his desperation. Well done.

It's so clearly noticeable, even through the immediate relief of escaping Hells Tek, that he's been through so much and that it impacted him so much. And then he decides to hide it and pretend it didn't happen for another decade. Even if he didn't fool people nearly as much as he thinks he did, it's so sad he though he needed to do that. Not to say that I can't understand it. Sadly, it probably stopped him from openly enjoying what he had: his freedom, all the wonderful experiences of the overworld and his friends. It's an amazing first chapter.

Also I love the way you write Xisuma.

And hello Bravo. I don't really like him as a character, too arrogant and snobbish. But at the same time, I love his journey and it's fun to follow him. He didn't deserve to be stranded here. But then again, that was kinda the point of the Universe's little experiment. I wonder, if he would one day learn about that, would it make him feel better or worse?

It's interesting to see his outside view of Hermitcraft. And them being considered a private bunch in this universe, while we see them pretty much place every block of their megabases, through streams and timelapses. Then again, in-story Hermitcraft is only in it's second world/season. I haven't been following Hermitcraft for THAT long, but it probably isn't a fair comparison. I wonder which of the Hermits Bravo was familiar with. Some of the redstoners, probably.

Timmy leaving his save spot to talk to Bravo wasn't something I noticed om my first read, and it's sweet of him. I love Timmy, and at the same time I want to yell at him for taking such poor care of himself. It's nice to see that through all he experienced he hasn't lost his kindness.

I've been definitely overthinking this, but while rereading Timmy explaining what Hels is to Bravo I was wondering how he knew the difference between Hells and a normal world. The logical explanation would be that some other player told him. But I remembered a post were there was mentioned Timmy was a Listener and I am a sucker for any Watcher Lore (and your version is great), so my mind came to the conclusion that a Watcher told Timmy. After all, he seems so lonely and so attention starved, that he would probably love it when the Watchers are around him. Maybe he tries to talk to them, make them stay a little longer. Most Watchers wouldn't be interested in him, since they can't make him leave. They would only be at spawn if someone more interesting has died without a respawn point. But maybe... Maybe some of the nicer Watchers decide to humor him, and talk for a moment. Maybe after a few times, they discover it's nice to sometimes just have a conversation with a player and just... start telling him things. Random bits of trivia, events that they've Watched somewhere else, things about their old lives. They would still be mostly doing other Watcher stuff, but when they are bored, or were about to visit Hels' spawn anyway, they stop by a certain avian.

Like I said, I've been overthinking this. It probably doesn't fit your story, but it has been fun to imagine. I like the idea that Timmy is one of the few players that is completely comfortable with being a Listener. And I like the idea of someone that people don't spend a second thought on casually having conversations with literal deities.

Back to Bravo for a moment. The stretchend out death-loop that is his way out of spawn is interesting to see. He starts out relatively optimistic but get's a hard and painful lesson on what life in Hels is like. By the time he meets the Arena recruiters he seems to understand why Timmy doesn't leave spawn. Bravo is glad with the resources he has, even though in any other world a second-day player would probably put him to shame. His first instinct on seeing players approach him is now to hide. He's already changed a lot, probably without even realizing it. And that is before he snaps.

The symmetry between the ending of one chapter and the start of the other is well done. One duo dies and Bravo finally gets a break in his struggle to survive. Another duo dies and Tango has a big setback in the game he's participating in.

The tone of chapter 3 is very different from the previous chapters. For a big part, it is an adaptation of Jimmy's and Tango's first episodes of the Double Life series. It's impressive how that part is both true to the source and a good adaptation. And then it smoothly transforms in your own work. Well done.

"They have only one bed." Look, I am very new to fanfiction, but even I know that this is a classic. I don't mind. Classics are classics for a reason, and you've written it good. I love the awkwardness here between the two of them.

Somehow the thing that's hardest to believe is that Grian would be the one to propose an end to the death-game, and it's funny that other characters seem to find that hard to believe as well. But it's a fun set-up to change mid-way in a death game to a survival world.

The addition that the soulbound can make you aware of your partners feelings and that it amplifies whatever is already between them. And thank you Impulse, for sharing your wisdom and for talking some sense into Tango. All the things Tango worries Jimmy will hate about him, seem to be the things he hates himself for. No wonder he feels unlovable. And thank you Pearl, for giving Tango some perspective.

So much of this chapter is just lovely and wholesome. After the Ranches have one good conversation, things just organically develop. Their relations grows closer and stronger. Tango learns to love and how it feels to be loved, he learns to be vulnerable, he slowly starts lowering his walls. There are still mountains of old pain, but there are new pieces that are healing as well. Thank you Jimmy, for being the healer that Tango needs. If only it would last.

Back to Hels. It's a nice detail that beds are a high end item. I guess that means making wool from string isn't possible (4 string into wool never felt right anyway). Though an anchor would prevent a long death loop by running out.

The inner workings of Hels Tek are a nice bit of information, though the place itself definitely is not. How does it compare to other redstone labs, like iRaid? Many workers probably only tolerate the restricting of their freedom because it's still better inside than being alone on the outside.

Clear is a fun character, especially when interacting with Atlas. He can get away with almost anything because he is just to valuable to loose in Atlas' eyes. He is a tragic mess but highly intelligent and takes pride in his work.

It's very telling that young Atlas, with just two minutes of life experience, already assumed the worst of others. That is not something he learned. Why would someone bother to plug a hole at spawn? Ease of traveling? And it's wood, valuable and burnable, it could have been part of a make-shift bridge, or something. Atlas really is the worst. Oh, and rule number one of Minecraft: don't dig straight down, smart guy.

It felt strange to me that Timmy lied to Atlas about Bravo, while pointing them in the direction that Tango want, the guy Atlas is actually looking for. But now I realize that Tango could "still see spawn in the distance", just before the portal spawned. Did Timmy in turn actually see Tango leaving and Bravo joining, from his higher vantage point? That would mean he probably did protect Tango, by not telling the full truth. Also, he's seen both of them. Has he noticed their likeness?

I hadn't caught on to Timmy casually lying Bravo in the first few times I read this chapter. It's sweet. And that he is able to do so while sounding casual surprises me. It feels like a stark contrast with his counterpart, who seems to be a bad liar and with an very emotive voice. And Timmy managed to do so in the face of a powerful man who has already subtilty threatened him and his with minions around. A quiet display of (inner) strength.

Timmy has delayed Atlas and Bravo meeting for five years, half the time Bravo spend in Hels. Five years without answers, five years without any hope of returning. If Atlas had found him the next time Bravo respawned (shot by a skeleton, if matched up chapter II and V correctly) Atlas would have put things together. Bravo would probably have jumped at the chance to get to Hels Tek, to civilisation, and he hadn't learned the "healthy Hels skepticism" yet. Atlas would be his savior! And would have been able to fully shape Bravo's image of Hels. Now, Bravo had to build his own image. Would he think it would have been worth those five years? Maybe, after he finally escaped Hels. I hope so, for Timmy's sake.

Tango had five more years on the overworld because of Timmy's lie. Five years of healing, but also five years of hiding and festering. He would have been in the fifth or sixth world of Hermitcraft, which would have had more resources than Double life. But the Hermit are more thinly spread and not focused on pvp. And on Hermitcraft, Tango probably would have been alone, when Hels Tek came for him. Others would have probably too far away to reach him in time, if they even knew were to go. Or maybe Tango would have been lucky and Hels Tek would have entered minutes before the final battle of the season 6 Prank War. Probably not but that would have been funny. There is a chance that the five extra years were unnecessary and only stopt him from fully healing but I think its way more likely that it saved him. On Double Life and with Jimmy at his side it seems that everything was exactly right for Tango being saved and to make sure his past won't come back to hound him anymore.

I truly hope that Timmy's little lie made things better in the end. I didn't realize that I had so much to say about one sentence in the story. I hope you didn't mind the sidetrack.

Atlas looking for Tango in the Arena seems to be the reason that the recruiters that made Bravo snap ran into him in the first place. Credits were it's due, thank you Atlas, for giving Bravo the means to gain things like good food, end-game armor and weapons. I still don't like you.

Considering Alisker has a spy in Hels Tek, and doesn't actually want hybrid farming to succeed, could the failing of respawn anchor be due to sabotage? Or maybe it was just the will of the Universe. Also, Alisker humiliating Atlas is very satisfying.

The downward spiral of Hels Tek is also very satisfying. It seems that Atlas never bothered to make any protocol for things taking a turn for the worst. I guess that just would be unimaginable for him. And then dr. Clear manages to halt that spiral in one lucid peptalk. That makes me sad that his lucid moments seem to be so rare and frustrated that he uses his skills and talents for Hels Tek. Clear Cut's mental health issues could be some form of heavy depression. That would be treatable. Earlier in the chapter it was mention he has to use potions of swiftness to be functional, but that sounds like management to me, not treatment.

The difference between Atlas meeting Bravo, and Atlas meeting a young Tango is interesting. Tango's base is hidden, while Bravo's is not. Bravo asks questions before deciding whether to attack, while Tango does not. Both of them are wary, but Tango seems eager to work in a redstone lab, while Bravo only sees it as a way home. All of these differences seem to be learned, though. And young Tango is cute.

Bravo at the start of chapter VI has plenty of Hels experience, but without Atlas having manipulated his worldview yet. Still, it's not a pretty picture. He thinks Atlas is probably dangerous because "he’s from Hels, after all". As if overworlders can't be dangerous. Does he know how players on anarchy servers can be? Does he know how an UHC works?

Overworld players gain the ability to travel between world as teenagers, and Bravo mentions next chapter that he probably stopped aging while still looking young. Tango was recruited as a teen, and spent only a few years in Hels Tek. He is the same age as Bravo. In other words, Bravo probably didn't have that much of a window between gaining access to multiverse travel and getting trapped in Hels. Maybe Bravo is just naive when it comes to overworld players.

You know, I really thought Atlas was the one to bring out the worst in Bravo, but perhaps all he did was stop Bravo from examining his own biases. I know Hels is a though place but I can't believe Bravo is that special for having a grand total of three pieces of furniture. He also already considers hybrid players part monster. One of his first thoughts on hearing Hels is an actual prisonworld is that the players that have spawned here must deserve it. And when Atlas guesses that Tango managed "to utilize [Bravo's] connection to leave Hels", Bravo interprets that as Tango willingly trapping him.

Bravo's early days in Hels Tek probably mirror those of Tango. A rundown of practices and procedures of the place, other scientist gathering information about him, leaving the communicator with other scientist to let them figure out the data. Probably to work with the same iron farm scientist Bravo talked to. But Bravo is aware what it's actually for, Tango was fed lies. And Tango was a teenager that had probably grown up feral and just entered a community for the first time.

Hels!Keralis is another fun character. I love that one of the extreme traits that he got from his counterpart is more eyes. How does he know that Bravo isn't from Hels? With the number of eyes he has it somehow wouldn't surprise me if he has some sort of special sight. Or it could be corporate spionage.

I haven't mentioned it before but the way you write the passage of time, with short snippits to show significant moments or changes, is very good. It really gets across how not everything happens in short order, how events can have far reaching effects and how change can happen slowly. It also helps you feel that time has passed and the world isn't static.

Once Bravo had his first impression of Patho, he really didn't bother updating his opinion unless other players made him. Bravo wonders what it could take to loose an eye, and there is something that can do that. In some of the worldbuilding posts it's mentioned that Martyn lost one eye, and Grian both of them, to Watchers. It would make sense that an experienced player would be recruited, but it could also just be an coincident. Bravo disapproves of the fangirling towards Patho, but I wouldn't be surprised if he once was a big fan of Etho. Legendary overworld redstoner and all that. (IRL during April Fools 2013, Etho was famous enough to get his own Minecraft block) The manner Patho let's Bravo know that he doesn't like to be touched is way over the top. Patho is another interesting character, but one of those that I'm very glad of that he's fictional. At the same time it's sweet of Patho that he is very much willing to educate others and share his knowledge.

I like the touch that the first two times the portal is lit, it has everchanging colours. Like the Hermitcraft portal Tango went trough. And it's later explained that inter-world portals have unique color-paterns, depending on their destination. So Tango is still on Hermitcraft in the early attempts. After that it switches to the red-yellow-green of the Traffic SMP/Life Series.

Bravo almost shows some critical thinking and empathy when he finds the Tango Tek farm, but it's immediately ruined when Atlas shows up. I hope Bravo gets nightmares about this when he finally learns how to self-reflect. Bravo's sarcastic reply on whether he has said his goodbyes is telling. He could have made friends if he had wanted to, I'm sure. The scientist had been welcoming and curious about him, and as a redstoner himself it's not as if they had nothing in common. That's a good base to build upon.

His first moments in ten years in the overworld are beautiful. Though Bravo has very many flaws, I do have sympathy for him gotten trapped in Hels. But not for anything else at the moment.

Jimmy reflecting on getting to know the Hermits is fun and wholesome. The little things he has learned about Tango, the thing he seems to love most about him, seem to be mainly related to being a blaze hybrid. All the things that are just Tango. That makes Bravo's claim that he should have been Jimmy's soulmate just plain wrong.

The whole conversation between Jimmy, Tango and Bravo is amazing. Jimmy is trying to figure out what is going on and all is knows for certain is that the person he loves is scared and hurting. And once again Bravo almost seem to realize the universe isn't as black and white as he though it was.

And then the fight! Tango's terror and fight response. Jimmy's terror. Tango's shutdown when he realized that he hurt Jimmy. Just wow. And Jimmy's reaction to seeing Tango freezing up is pretty much forgetting he is on fire because Tango needs him! Poor, poor Tango. Bravo clearly sees himself as a good guy by taking back his rightful place and trying to help Jimmy, not realizing that for Jimmy he is the villain and the leader of the group that invaded the Ranch and is kidnapping his boyfriend. And Jimmy placing himself between the invaders and the portal, knowing he can't win is a beautiful show of his care, courage and determination. These guys have very shallow definitions of strength and weakness.

The Cavalry arrives! And the announcing their presence with the horns is very much Double Life. I know that battles are hard to write, but you did an amazing job with it. It's definitely chaotic with much going on, but it's clear to read and good to follow. Every Lifer does their part in the battle and everyone has their own fighting style.

Was Bravo so angry of Atlas that he tried to follow him back to Hels? The place that he tried to leave for ten years? The moment the portal breaks he is surrounded by overworlders. He can blame the battle going wrong and the mistrust of the players on Atlas, but they give Bravo a chance to explain himself and he messed that up all on his own. And Bravo has seen they are pretty much what he thinks overworlders should be. It's a server where they don't grief bases, where they work/fight together, where they defend each other, where they ask questions and don't immediately attack. (Outside the battle, but that doesn't count, they saw their servermates in trouble.) But they don't welcome Bravo as one of their own. They restrain him and mistrust him. They don't see him as different from the other players that came trough the portal. ("What did you guys do to him", emphasis mine) They hear his explanation but don't believe him. They dislike it so much they kill him, meaning this time he is send to Hels and it's not a fluke or mistake. It's overworld players wanting him gone.

I don't think he realizes this, not at first at least, he has his mind on other things. But once he has time to process what happened? It has got to hurt, even if he doesn't admit to himself he was wrong. I think it all does help later with Tango's words finally reaching him.

Jimmy's fear of not knowing were Tango is when the portal is broken is so real. So is the relief on knowing he's still (physically) with them. Scar being the one to shoot Bravo feels right. Scar has a goofy and easygoing demeanor, but he is very capably and not someone who you should cross, and Bravo did that by saying nasty things about his friend.

It's a relief that Bravo has finally up enough to stop working with Atlas. Progress? His fight against the hired muscle parallels the fight Tango had in brutality, as much as he might deny it. and slicing his own neck is brutal as well.

I'm still not sure how to feel about the Bravo/Timmy reunion. I'm happy that Timmy isn't alone anymore, that he is with someone who has been, not quite nice, but at least polite towards him. At the same time Bravo isn't doing this for the right reasons, he later admits as much himself. He is using Timmy as a substitute for Jimmy. Thing is, he doesn't know Jimmy. Is he really so hung op over the whole 'should-be-soulmates' thing over a stranger? I don't get it, and that could very wel just be a me problem. But he does want Timmy around, even if he's not Bravo's first choice. Since Bravo stepped through the portal that was supposingly taking him to Hermitcraft, Timmy might have been the only one that has been there for him. Timmy was the one who explained Hells to him, without trying to manipulate him. He has been welcoming to him. He has been the one who showed sympathy when Bravo died. The only thing Timmy wanted was not to be alone, but he didn't force that. I hope Bravo's biases don't blind him towards all that.

And that final sentence. If he can’t have the sun, he’ll learn to love its shadow. I know I haven't been the only one going crazy over that. That one sentence it saying so much. I've also have been (over)thinking what that makes Timmy, symbolism wise. The sun doesn't actually have a shadow, being a light source. But there is one thing, it isn't a real shadow, but there is something that is a lack of sunlight. If Jimmy is the sun, Timmy is the night sky. Both are beautiful on their own.

Back to Double life and their aftermath of the battle. I like that you fully wrote the aftermath. Things like this often get skipped or summarized. Now things have calmed down a little, the players have room to feel their exhaustion, their fear, their pain, to become more aware of their wider surroundings and to start figuring out what actually happend. It seems that no matter the universe, the Ranch is destined to burn down. It's sad to see, especially with how warm and cosy you had written the place. And ofcourse Etho and Joel have water buckets, with that clutching trick they love doing.

The state Tango is in, is heartbreaking. No one seems to be sure how to handle that situation, except Impulse, but that might just be appearances. Impulse and Jimmy have a very similar comforting warmth around them, I'm not sure how to call it. So, while Jimmy might feel useless (and the 'intrusive thoughts' aren't helping), I don't think he would have done a bad job with helping Tango. But Impulse has known Tango for years, and has some experience. And he didn't just went through the things that Tango or Jimmy just did. Jimmy's comment about the lights show that he does know Tango, no matter what he thinks. It's interesting that the comments from the Watchers right after are ambiguous in whether they are directed at Jimmy or Impulse.

You cannot sleep, there are monsters nearby. That sentence fills me with dread ever time I read it. It's a dread probably every survival minecrafter knows. And for that sentence to be directed towards Tango is devastating. Luckily Jimmy knows just wat to say to pull Tango out of it. The whole conversation after feels beautifully sad and vulnerable and raw. And it's once again devastating that Tango still feels that he has to be strong in front of Jimmy and only let's himself cry when he thinks there's no one to see it. But Jimmy is not doing nothing, he is being Tango's shoulder to cry on, an that is worth a lot.

The game-chat log of the battle is a fun read. It's very bare-bones, due to it's nature but it gives a good overview and a good indication of how the other Lifers reacted. You have a very good grasp of how you can use the chat in the story. Also, good job Bravo, you did the impossible and make Jimmy hate someone.

Tango's desperate attempt to avoid talking about what happend is painful, and it doesn't exactly work when other players were actually there to witness it. He's still afraid of being rejected because of the truth. And when de finally talks about his past he uses the word 'evil' to describe the players of Hells multiple times, he really believes it. Of course, his friends know better. I like how mad the Lifers are about Tango's past, how offended they are for his sake. And Tango's fear of they kicking him out never crossed their minds.

Whether or not it makes sense for this AU to have a concept of years, I'm glad they exists because it makes it much easier as a reader to keep track of time and of a player maturity. Gradual growth isn't really a thing in Minecraft, so it could even work as kind of sub-growth-stages between player children, teens and adults.

Another vulnerable conversation between Tango and Jimmy, with Tango admitting things he probably never said out loud before. But how bad is it really if he found a healthy way indulge in his questionable desires? And it's not like death is permanent. I can't argue with Tango saying he's messed up, but that's the trauma, not an inherent part of him.

I don't think he has deceived and lied as much as he thinks he has. His friends seemed to realize that Tango had a traumatic past and that some things set him of. They knew Tango didn't want to talk about it so they didn't ask. And he may have hidden his past and a part of his personality, but that was mostly lying by omission. Were the parts of his personality he did show false? Did he not want people to have fun with his games? I highly doubt that.

And it's not as if he's the only one with questionable personality traits on this server. In chapter IV Pearl gave him a bucket of powdered snow so she wouldn't succumb to the temptation of torturing her own soulmate, for example. Nobody is perfect, don't try to live up to an impossible standard.

The good thing about Tango saying all his insecurities aloud is that others can point out he's wrong, and Jimmy let's him know very clearly. Tango seems to be so surprised about it. He never considered his fears being wrong.

All things considered the Ranchers seem to handle the burned out ranch well. They're sad about it and Tango feels guilty, and that makes sense, but no anger or panic or deeply repressed feelings. Progress? Jimmy's comment about liking to wear the gloves is cute. Him not giving them back to Tango is also saying that Tango doesn't need to hide his claws, or himself. I thinks Tango is starting to understand that, even if he has trouble believing it. Same with all the players showing up, Tango sees that the truth about him hasn't scared them off.

I guess that there have been times that all the hiding was too overwhelming at times. Those probably moments Tango looked for Hels. If he was there wouldn't have to keep lying to his friends. He would have felt so much guilt, especially after learning that he had a counterpart that was probably trapped there. So it's a good thing it doesn't show up.

The similarities and differences between Patho and Etho explaining the portals stuff are fun. They have different experience with portals and different tools to work with, but they figured it out. And Patho isn't willing to give up one redstone ore block, while Etho is willing to get up and look for one with a friend.

Every time Tango mentions something about his past in Hels, Impulse seems to be in conflict to be a comforting presence or to be in righteous furry. It's hard to blame him. It's nice to see Impulse and Jimmy kind of team up to try to help Tango work trough everything.

I'm not sure how firewalls and whitelists work (or don't work) in combination with hacked portals. I'm also not sure how those exactly work. Then again, I know it's more important that they work than how they work. My brain just wants to understand it.

Tango, I get that you want to protect your friends but going into Hels alone isn't the solution. That way they at least get hurt by your actions and you actually encourage them to make unprepared, desperate attempts to get you back. If Tango had succeeded in breaking the portal, the Double Lifers would still try to follow. Since they know Bravo met Etho's counterpart, they would probably open a portal with his data. That would definitely have been interesting, but that would not have been good.

Thankfully, Jimmy is there to prevent all that. It's good to see that he stands his ground when Tango wants to cut others out, even though Jimmy has his own insecurities to deal with. And he already followed him to Hels, so of course Jimmy wouldn't think twice about following Tango into a trap.

Bravo has so many villainous vibes. It's a miracle he hasn't noticed it yet. He has figured out why they are here, but at the same time doesn't seem to realize they are here to help. And the hypocrite is calling Tango a monster for his temper, while he started the fight because of his anger. Bravo is a very good fighter, we've already seen, he's been in much tougher fights against much more experienced fighters. So it's not that surprising that the Ranchers lose.

Even after they lose Bravo keeps on hurting Tango with actions and words. It's no wonder that Tango realizes that the personality trait he hates so much about himself -a thing that makes him believe that he deserves all the bad stuff- is something he inherited from Bravo. It's something he only has because it comes from his 'better' counterpart. And that realisation gives him wat he needs to get through to Bravo.

Bravo's breakdown is beautiful to watch. You can see his whole beliefsystem falling apart and him having nothing to keep up his mental strength. It's so well written. For all the wrongs he's done, I never saw him as an evil person. Arrogant, biased and misguided, yes. Even so, he came to Hels with a strong sense of justice but he had to spend so much energy on just surviving that somewhere along the way he had to give it up. One can only have a survival mentality for so long before things have to give.

Tango understanding what Bravo must have been trough heartwarming. And I'm very much with him on this. Him embracing and accepting Bravo and Bravo finally accepting him is great. And now it's time for Bravo to begin his redemption arc. I absolutely love redemption arcs and -though I don't think Bravo's finished at the end of the story- this is a good one.

Timmy and Jimmy meeting each other is pretty much the opposite of Bravo and Tango meeting. No mistrust or hostility at all but mostly awe. It's nice how Tango describes it in his point of view. Timmy admitting he understand why he isn't good enough is just so sad. He knew Bravo couldn't fully accept him as he was, and he sees that his doppelgänger looks much better than him (rather objectively, being healthy beats being unkept and skin-over-bones). Jimmy basically goes all 'protective big brother' over Timmy, it's great. It's a relief that Bravo learned to (or at least started to) see Timmy as his own person.

The last scene of chapter X. It was so frustrating to wait to see wat happened next. Bravo seemed to be on Tango's side, so it would probably be a ruse. At the same time, it wouldn't have been the first time if Bravo had lost his temper and stopped being smart. I'm rather new in the fandom side of Minecraft Youtubers, so this was the first chapter I came across and the first time I had to wait for an update. I found it after someone reblogged some of Lunarcorwn's art (along with a tiny excerpt) about this chapter. I was immediately fascinated, and after the intro comic, I was sold.

The start of the next chapter doesn't give immediate resolution to a first time reader. Bravo is definitely convincing. He has to be, Atlas is not easily fooled. But knowing what's going on there seem to be small tells in how Bravo acts. Or maybe I'm just imagining things. Bravo's aggression looks like anger but is probably his newfound guilt and insecurity. He only talks to answer Atlas' questions, his speech seems more to the point while at the same time he uses more filler words.

It's interesting to see Bravo trying to trust Tango and Jimmy, while at the same time having learned to be distrustful of everything. He's really going back and forth between the two. Thankfully, Tango is understanding and shows him grace. Why does Bravo tense up when Tango mentions his friends won't attack on sight? Had he forgotten that overworld players don't tend to do that? It would probably be painful for him to realize there are things he has unlearned or forgotten.

Poor Timmy probably hasn't interacted with more that one person in ages. The Double Lifers must be very much overwhelming, especially since many of them aren't exactly low-energy players.

It's Tango's job to make sure his friends don't go with a bad -but easier- plan? Talk about role reversal.

The conversation between Bravo and Timmy by the portal is nice. I like whatever kind of relation they have, messy as it is. I'm not saying it's good, but it's interesting to read about. They each have many issues. Bravo is now aware of that, but I'm not sure if Timmy is. I'm not even sure Timmy knows what a healthy relationship looks like. They both care about each other and I think they could help each other out. But at the same time, Bravo has anger issues and biases against Hels players and hybrids and Timmy is both and probably wouldn't set any boundaries. At this moment them being together could either be healing or toxic. So I get Bravo's hesitance.

Jimmy's hostility towards Bravo is so odd to see. It's so unlike him, though it's fully earned. Tango and Bravo sharing their braincells while coming up with a plan is fun, especially since Tango has to tell his friends that every time that, yes, he is on board with what Bravo says.

I admire Tango's courtage to enact the plan. Then again it's in a way a variant on Tango's earlier plan to sacrifice himself, now it's only temporary. It's no wonder he looses his nerves and fully panics at the last moment when he is actually faced with the machine that caused most of his suffering. Once again: poor guy.

Bdubs has a point about Bravo calling others bad, but Patho literally disemboweled him so I think Bravo is being fair in his case. As for instinctSV, he barely appears in the story, so that's hard to say. But I don't think you get to lead a company in Hels by being trusting and charitable.

Grian and his Watcher abilities! This is a great moment to use his powers, especially since he so hesitant to use them. And he and Jimmy are right, this is not the moment to explain it all. This is the second time that Grian uses his silent 'Watcher voice' in a group meeting and this time there is an extra Listener around. Grian's secret is all but out.

Grian getting Mumbo to come with him with some crazy but true explanation somehow sounds like a very Grian thing to do. I love your portrayal of Mumbo. It's been a lot so it's no surprise that he needs a moment to wrap his head around it. Mumbo is a good friend, keeping how he helped/helps with Grian's eyes a secret. And Grian turned up on his redstone world? Wouldn't that be single-player? How did Grian manage that? And it's good to know that Grian told Mumbo what happend over time.

Something that stood out was that Mumbo stopped himself from tugging his mustache. The way it was worded was like a habit he tries to unlearn. It was also something Clear did but didn't seem to mind.

Tango finally understands he doesn't have to do this on his own and that he can rely on his friends. The warmth he has for the people around him here is so sweet. And he finally doesn't just want to confront his past, but actually wants to put it behind him. He still thinks that the "entire mess is solely his fault" (as if he asked for it) but he knows they will do whatever it takes to help him. "Is it really any wonder he learned how to be a good person just by knowing them?" Just beautiful! Though, is he seriously gonna give Jimmy a lecture about self-blame? That's just funny.

It's promising that Bravo corrects himself about the burned Ranch. Especially since nothing about it is even spoken out loud. He might have had a change of view, fully ingrained change requires more than that. But Bravo is willing to work on it. He does note himself that he wouldn't have been able to see Tango's influence on the interior.

It's entertaining to see how Bravo describes the Lifers, and Mumbo. The sentiment of wanting to kill Atlas is very understandable. Though Bravo is the Plan Guy, Jimmy is the leader here. He listens to Bravo because Bravo has the most expertise. But Jimmy is the one who the rest listens to, the one who keeps the conversation on track and the one who validates the plan.

Tango and Bravo realizing how much they both have changed due to were they have been living feels like something they needed. I like how they are now that they're not hostile towards each other. Bravo and Timmy's realisation neither of them is a builder is a fun parallel of Tango and Jimmy, and I'm glad Tango is there to watch it. It feels promising somehow.

Once again, Jimmy is being a leader here. Checking in, helping, dispelling fears. I highly doubt that Jimmy sees himself as a leader, though. The talk between Jimmy and Bravo is amazing. It just radiates growth and caring.

Tango in the farm. Oof. It's amazing how he is so close to drowning in despair, but still manages to find something to hold on to. And then he realizes he was strong enough to survive it all before, and that he is stronger now. It's wonderful how he let his good memories strengthen him, and that while he is currently living through his worst nightmare.

Clear not realizing Hels Tek is being invaded and said invaders being fine with Clear just continuing to do his own thing is really amusing. Clear 'recognizing' Grian is so sad. But Grian doesn't seem to have the instinctive recognition of his counterparts name, and later when said counterpart realizes Grians name, it's not his player name. That's interesting. I appreciate that Grian stays with Clear and I wonder what is said between them off screen. I hope Clear eventually realizes Grian is not Scáil.

The invasion of Hels Tak is a fun read. Overpowering the first guard went so smooth! Then the ravager just had to shake things up. It's nice that during everything, Pearl and Scott seem to have patched things up and are flawlessly working together now. Jimmy seems to notice a 'intrusive thought' cutting another off, noticing how odd that is, even if he doesn't understand wat it means. Bravo and Jimmy fighting in sync is awesome! What's also a difference between this fight and the previous is that Jimmy uses his wings while fighting. Something that wouldn't be fair in a friendly fight. Tango notices later that he fights way better when he does use his non-human-side, for Jimmy it might be the same.

It's so nice that Jimmy notices that Tango lost the fear he always carried with him. He handled the last hours in the farm well. The first time I read this part I was so worried that there wasn't any mention of breaking the respawn anchor. I couldn't imagine that they would forget while standing right in front of it. Luckily there was no need for a respawn. I had also been a little nervous about Timmy and Bravo, had they made sure they would respawn at Double Life if their spawn point got reset? (Is that even possible for Timmy with his Hells-comm?)

Sweet Jimmy does not tolerate his boyfriend being name-called. And sweet Tango won't stand for his boyfriend being hurt. They're cute like that. It's good to see that Tango being called a monster has lost its power to hurt him, no matter how hard Atlas tries. He's finally able to fully accept his mob-side. It feels good that the three of them manage to piss of Atlas so much that he finally cracks, giving Tango the closure he needs. And then what's probably the most satisfying punch in Hels' history, even inflecting permanent damage.

This is the first time Tango consciously reached out for his own fire, isn't it? His own firestorm is a beautiful thing. And powerful. I'm so happy for Tango! Atlas having to helplessly watch how Tango casually strolls to the portal is extra satisfying.

Atlas just sitting outside and letting his laboratory burn really shows how defeated he is. If he was any other person I would probably feel sorry for him. And why is he so surprised that Tango and Bravo are the ones that beat him? They're both smart people that know how he works and with plenty of reasons to hate him. Are they really that unlikely to bring him down? Or did he underestimate them because they don't have the authority to boss others around? Good thing Tango had his friends on his side and that Bravo understood the power of friendship.

And then bX has the pleasure of kicking Atlas while he's down. Must have been a great relief too, to let the hybrid-farmer know his life's work was done for.

Even for the Hermits that had known something was 'off' about Tango, finally hearing what happened must have been a shock, for the ones that didn't know yet. And for Tango it must be nice to be able to tell it on his own terms, this time. He probably knew by now that the Hermits wouldn't abandon him after telling the truth, but having conformation must still feel great. It's also great that talking about it is becoming easier.

Alisker and xB are very sweet together. Very different from how they interact with other people. I admire Alisker's long term plan and how successfully it played out. He really made sure Atlas' damage stayed limited. I just wish his plans hadn't required for Tango to be locked in the farm in the first place.

I think it's a wise choice for Bravo to take some time for himself. Processing and healing from everything that happened can be nasty, and at those times it's nice not needing to mindful of others. At the same time, part of me is worried he's gonna overcorrect himself or close himself off. I'm not sure how excluded different worlds are, and how much contact players can have through the multi-net, but I hope that Bravo stays in contact with at least Timmy. It's sweet that Bravo clearly cares about Timmy's progress as well and that he regrets they both have to take different roads to heal.

The progress Timmy has already made is wonderful to see. Not only physically, he questions Bravo's decision to go and voices his discontent. Gently, but still. It feels like he's learning how to stand up for himself. Timmy himself really wanting to grow as a person is very promising, especially as someone who represents his counterparts (*checks external authors posts*) passiveness and victimhood.

Dbubs first appearance in the main story! His and Patho's relationship is both so warm and unhealty. I love complex people and I love complex people being even more complex together, and this story is full of them! I also love it every time when players are having that instinctual recognition at the proof of existence of their counterpart on page, whether is just the name or meeting face to face.

I wonder why exactly Patho wants to leave. It's not he didn't know about them having counterparts. Why does it suddenly matter? Is it because they visited Hells? Because they visited Hells together? Because of the recognition Patho felt? Or is it something else?

False, seriously? I don't think having someone chained up like an animal is keeping you in Tango's good graces. And you basically told him it could wait until he got back, while you're holding your twin prisoner! There might be something wrong with Sym, but what's wrong with you? It sounds like an interesting story, and I definitely have questions.

Poor Scáil. His suffering might actually surpass that of Tango in the farm. And if he's been like this since he left Hels Tek, it's been more than a decade, considering they never met. How did he become like this? I know it's related to Grian almost becoming a (full) Watcher, but this can't be how this is supposed to go. And even Grian has control of his abilities. Scáil using Grian's Watcher name makes me wonder how how much player vs Watches they actually are. Grian, please check in on your counterpart.

Stress' way of talking is always fun. Her and Doc's origin is cool. And I'm curious what your interpretation of the Hivemind is. Doc not having a Hels is a big relief, considering Doc himself already loves creating game-breaking machines. That trait would be terrifying on someone with a Hels mentality, let alone an amplified version of that trait. I understand why they are conflicted about it, though.

I'm glad we finally see Instinct in person. I like him and the vibe he gives off. Atlas working for him is amazing, how far he has fallen! I hope Instinct enjoys bossing him around.

Tango making the video about Hels and how to get there surprised me when I first read it, even though it makes sense. A lot of Hels players will probably change for the better because of it. It might also wreck the Hels economy. Overworld players could give their counterparts a way out, or provide them with resources that are easy to get in a normal world.

I have so many questions about it all. Can mobs travel through portals? How would it work when someone creates a portal in a creative world? Could they just spawn in rare items (elytra's or even things like spawn eggs) and bring them to Hels? Can counterparts create hacked portals when both of them are at different places in Hels? If so, that would create fast-travel. That would be especially valuable in such a giant world.

It would probably kind of sting for Bravo to see the video. Everything he needed to know and took him a decade to figure out, quickly explained in one video, uploaded not long after he finally escaped. Not that I think he woud disagree with uploading it, it's just, where was that when he needed it?

The idea of Bravo seeing Tango's video is interesting. Bravo could see all the videos Tango made while he was trapped in Hels. All the inventions and games (first Decked Out) that Tango created, all the projects he worked on with other Hermits. Tango could see the ones that Bravo made before they switched places. He could see how Bravo acted before Hels crushed him, the friends he had back in the day and how young he was when he got trapped. I wonder if they do that, and how it influences how they see each other.

It's very nice how you worked Steve, Herobrine and Alex in this universe. Does the Hels firewall being down also mean that overworld comms now work there properly? Herobrine being Hels former admin makes sense, as the first counterpart, though I hadn't expected it. It's nice that there won't be new player condemned to spawning in Hels.

The scene with Jimmy and Tango is just lovely. The cuffs and everything they stood for were so loaded for Tango. I'm glad he's finally able to take them off, and that Jimmy understood how much it meant for his soulmate.

I love how the last paragraph is inspired by the end credits poem. And I love how it both does and does not breaks the forth wall, and the things it explains. It's a nice touch that it's in-story explained by Aqua and Lunar.

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And that was it. For the main story anyway. I've also read the short stories from the Hels To Pay universe, but I leave that for another time. Maybe. I liked writing this but I've had enough for now. If you actually read all of this, you have my uttermost respect.

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le-92vi · 1 year ago

Text

It's You and Me (Part 3)

Suguru Geto x Reader

Genres/Warnings: hs!suguru, biker!suguru, fem!reader, academic weapon!reader, mostly fluff and banter, slight angst, intro to yutamaki (the ship), halloween party(kinda?).

Word Count: 3k

Maybe you're bad at reading body language. Or maybe, he's bad at expressing himself?

Notes: I hope you enjoy this part! It's probably not as good as the previous part, but I assure you, good things are to come!

(Part 1) | (Part 2)

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***

Suguru leaned against your front door. His boyish grin plastered across his face, completely dressed in his costume. He and Gojo had decided to dress up as Sherlock Holmes and John Watson for the party.

"How do I look?" He detached himself from the doorframe and twirled around to give you a complete 180.

You got hold of his long-bell sleeves, holding them away from him so you could get a better look at the little details.

"Not bad at all!" You were so obviously checking him out, and he knew.

And, you knew that he knew.

That was just what he wanted. Didn't he? Why else would he show up on your doorstep?

"So, you just need to stick that mustache now?" You let go of his arms and held out yours so he could hand you the remaining piece of his costume. "Does it not come with the adhesive?" You began inspecting the fake mustache.

"I don't think…" He shrugged, and ever so slowly, his hand crept inside his pocket to crumple up the little piece of tape. He was looking up at you from where he stood at your doorstep.

You held up the piece of mustache to his mouth, your hands brushing his as he tried stopping you. "Let me see!" You revolted as he ducked his head away from you. "You're 'gonna have to eventually…"

After his little rebellion, he stood facing you, unmoving, as you found the perfect spot to fix it on his gorgeous face.

"Hmm," You leaned back like an artist, admiring your masterpiece. Your hands cupped his face slightly upwards, as you held the tiny black piece.

You could swear his eyes were shining.

And this moment will forever be burned into your brain. Not many got a chance to look down at Suguru Geto.

"This is a little embarrassing," Suguru cleared his throat, turning away to look at his shoes for a moment before looking back up. You couldn't quite read his expression, but you could definitely see a faint rouge spreading across his face. "Do you have something to stick it on my face?"

You nodded and turned to walk back inside, followed closely by Suguru. "How are you, uh… going to the party?"

"Shoko's driving us. Me and Maki, I mean." You stopped by the living room, motioning for him to wait, while you got your eyelash glue to stick the mustache. "I'll be right back,"

But, he stood there, right beside you. His brain racked, trying to come up with any explanation for why he should be helping you. He felt pathetic, excited, and desperate altogether.

"I…" He began as he watched you walk away to your room, but his words died in his mouth. "I should help,"

You turned back towards him, head tilted at his unwillingness. "Help?"

His eyes wandered through the ceilings of your hallway before they finally met with yours, "Yeah, I'll just go up. Save you a round trip. Not that big of a deal." He smiled sheepishly.

You could only laugh at his stance.

And, his expression.

You looked at him with brief skepticism, weighing out your options.

He was a good friend, yes.

But, being alone with him in your room seemed a little too intimate, even as friends. And you were good at keeping lines drawn right.

"No thanks," You narrowed your eyes at him, "I just cleaned my room!"

"That was quick!" Suguru exclaimed as you stood before him, shaking your tube of eyelash glue.

"Told you so," you chirped. "Look here." you tilted his chin upwards so you had a better point of view to work with.

I'm helping him.

He's my friend.

You repeated to yourself in a miserable attempt to calm yourself but, it was hardly working, especially with Suguru's face barely inches away from yours.

His eyes were shut and, his breathing grew a little shallow.

"There you go," you said quietly, as you scooted away, retrieved a vanity mirror from your pocket, and handed it to him.

Suguru sighed briefly before taking the mirror from you, but that soon turned into a snicker as soon as he looked at his reflection.

You followed suit.

"Maybe I should try growing out a real one." He looked at you with a smolder.

"EW!" you shrieked, pushing him slightly by his shoulder.

"Why?" he laughed harder at your contorted face, rising from where he sat, so he was towering over you. "You don't like it?"

"Not at ALL. You look like you're going to start a Physics lecture."

"I do teach you Physics, though." he squinted his eyes at you.

"Gosh, what's with you today? You seem a little high," You commented, retrieving your mirror from him.

Before he could clap back at you with another one of his witty responses, the doorbell rang, followed by a series of furious knocks.

"Looks like Maki and Shoko are here," He cocked his head towards the hallway. "I should probably go too. Pretty sure he'd be losing his mind right now. Not that he has much, anyways."

You laughed, walking out to the door as the knocks only grew worse.

"The door's going to fall off." You mock shouted, pulling the door open as far as possible.

"Not my problem," Shoko shrugged, handing you a paper bag. "Gift."

"What is it?" You completely forgot about anything else, focusing solely on the bag in your hands. "Oh My God! DONUTS!"

But like the nonchalant, cool girl she was, Shoko only winked at you, with a little kiss. "How come you're here?" She tilted her head at Suguru.

"Just leaving." He greeted her and Maki with a collective short hug, bidding everyone a dramatic farewell in his next breath as he sprinted back to his house.

You looked on.

Why did he never greet you with any hugs?

You thought you and him were growing closer. Then why?

"Man, I'm THIRSTY!" Maki pulled you out of your thought train.

"Of course, you are." You chuckled taking her bag from her, inviting both the girls inside.

***

Twenty minutes into the party, you had already been separated from the girls.

Though you vividly remember Shoko wanting to get a drink for herself, you had no idea when Maki slipped away too.

You found yourself wandering inside Satoru's house, hoping you'd catch hold of at least one of the four. As much as you'd hate to admit it, the music was getting to your head, vibrating through you, whole.

You made your way past the jam-packed kids into the kitchen to get something to drink. From a distance, you could see many people hanging around the kitchen, giving you a slight hope that one of them might be someone you knew. But, to your disappointment, there was no one.

Sighing to yourself, you Looked around in the kitchen to find something that suited your palate.

But that didn’t take long as you found the refrigerator filled with drinks and a huge bowl of fruit punch.

"There are no cups," you mumbled, turning around to look for some when you found yourself trapped between the refrigerator and a very drunk-looking Naoya Zen'in. He was in your grade, and that was about everything you two had in common.

Never did you imagine a scene where you'd find yourself standing so close to him? There had never been a reason.

You halted, trying to decipher his low ramble but you couldn't. The guy was drunk out of his mind. You doubted if he even realized he had caged you in.

Naoya was infamous for his terrible temper as is, it wouldn't take a genius to guess he'd only be worse drunk.

It was only a matter of a few minutes for you to get as far as possible you could, without getting a rise out of him.

I'll have to give up on the punch.

"Um, excuse me," You sighed, ducking under his arms and away.

What a moron!

Sensing you move away, Naoya grabbed your wrist yanking you back in front of himself. "Take what you wanted." He grumbled.

"I'm not thirsty anymore," You tried brushing him off, as you pulled your hand back. You stood up straighter, causing him to step back as you walked away.

He called after you, a certain distaste settling around your name, "You’re the one that hangs out with those losers, don’t you?"

You rolled your eyes, "Did you just call Satoru a loser, when you're drunk out of your mind at his party?"

He sighed, holding his hands up. "Touché. I am a little drunk. And dizzy."

"Congratulations." He was most definitely not "a little" drunk, evident by his knuckle-white grip on the refrigerator.

"Can you get me water?" He doubled down by the kitchen island, wreathing in discomfort.

Let's get this over with.

"Fine." You sighed, walking around the kitchen island to the water faucet.

Still no cups.

"I'm sorry, Satoru." You mumbled rummaging through the cabinets for any utensil, till you finally found a mixing bowl. You filled it with water, slightly shy of the brim, and placed it in front of him, as he found a seat on the island stool, "Here."

There was no way he'd drink that much water but it was better than waiting for him to ask for another fill. He was visibly shocked by your choice but never commented on it. "Thanks,"

Fifty minutes in, and you were already contemplating ditching the party.

Naoya had passed out on the counter almost immediately after he chugged all that water. You decided to just wait in the kitchen. It's not like he could bother you anymore.

It was a good party. Well organized. Great food. But, mainlining tequila was just not your thing. Especially, not on a school night. There was nothing left for you to taste anymore, nor could you find your friends.

Sure, Satoru's house was huge but not seeing a single person you knew for fifty minutes straight was messing your mood up.

You waited, looking over your phone for any sign of life from your friends.

Maybe if you bombarded them with messages, they'll answer.

It was kind of frustrating how you were the only one left alone.

You typed out a final message in the group chat, deciding if no one replied this time, you'd just go back home.

Five more minutes.

You grabbed your drink and decided to wait by the pool. The disappointment was getting to you, and the room felt suffocating.

Maybe today was not a good day.

The clock struck Twelve as your five minutes were over. You scoffed, chugging down your remaining juice and thrashing the cup. "Screw this."

I'm leaving. You sent the message in the group chat.

The lights blacked out as soon as you hit send.

You felt a couple of people gather around you, grabbing your arms and legs as they hoisted you up in the air. You felt as if you were hanging upside down, as blood rushed to your head. The drink you just downed threatened to make a comeback. But, you pertained.

The whole scene was so stupid, you didn't feel an ounce of panic. Just embarrassment.

Of course, you knew who the four idiots carrying you were.

Of course, you guessed by this time that it was a surprise, though not anymore.

You chuckled as they carried you around like a barbeque skewer. You loathed that your hands weren't free so you could hide your face from this very embarrassing public procession.

You were literally swept off your feet. And you had no choice but to go along with it.

Slowly the birthday song began to play, as the lights came back on with each step forward your friends took.

You craned your neck up in a miserable attempt to look around, only to be met by amused faces.

To your horror, they stopped by the edge of the swimming pool. They hoisted you up further, as they chanted your name as if you were Simba from The Lion King. The crowd applauded.

What is wrong with all these people?

And before you could fight, they dumped you in the pool. You grabbed one of their collars. If you're going down, you're taking them with you.

A blurry cry was all you managed to hear before you and your partner hit the waters.

Your lack of swimming knowledge bloomed in your chest as a terrible fright. The water messed with your eyesight, leaving you the only option to cling to whoever you pulled down with you.

As soon as your body was in contact with his, you knew it was Suguru.

Maybe he realized that you didn't know how to swim and that you were panicking. His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you in closer, you were hugging-- rather you were stuck to him like a koala.

The anxiety messed with your head so much that you didn't even realize that the both of you were way above the water's surface now.

"Hey," He called out in his sweet voice, never once trying to let go of you.

Of course, he could feel you shivering from the shock.

It was you who pulled back. But, your faces remained close.

You didn't know if the unwillingness to let go was yours or his. His mustache had fallen off. Hair drenched, sticking to his forehead.

His face was so close to yours. If you just moved a little further...

"KISS!" Maki shouted, causing you to break away from Suguru suddenly. That girl probably had a microphone fit in her throat.

"Um..." You looked at Suguru, unsure of what to do next.

That sure was awkward.

"Here," He grabbed you by the arm towards the handrail.

"WHAT THE HECK!" You climbed out with a grin plastered across your face.

They were still by the edge, grinning back at you like idiots. Satoru passed you a towel. "If it was a bit too much..."

You began to shake your head in denial, to tell him it was cool, but he looked at you with a funky expression, "I don't care!", and stuck out his tongue at you.

You huffed.

Suguru struck the back of Satoru's head, as he emerged from the pool, "Where's my towel?"

"Who told you to dive in with her?" Satoru shrugged in response. "Let's eat cake, shall we?" He turned to you and the girls, completely ignoring him.

You looked at Suguru with distress.

It was your fault, after all, that he was soaked.

What if he falls sick because of this?

You draped your towel around him. "Can't die right before finals now, can you?"

"Speak for yourself." He looked at you, then your dress, handing the towel back to you. "I have a coat. Drenched, but a coat nonetheless. But, you?"

You tried to revolt, mentioning how he should hold you responsible in some way or the other.

But, gosh, he was so cruel!

He snatched the towel from you, throwing it over your head, he pulled you closer to him by a fraction. "Come to me when you want to go home."

You cut the cake your friends prepared for you. And, soon everyone else resumed their businesses.

You noticed one of the guys standing near Maki. He watched you cut your cake.

And all the while he stood with your group of friends, unmoving. He seemed meek.

You raised your eyebrows at Maki, hoping she'd clear the situation. He was stuck to her, after all.

"Right!" She exclaimed, following your eyes. "Meet Okkotsu. He's Gojo's cousin."

"Hi," He chirped without missing a beat. "Happy birthday!"

"Oh, Hi! Thank you," You replied, trying your best to keep the vibe pleasant. But, something felt off.

Your gaze shifted back and forth between the two of them, momentarily, before resting on Maki.

You were going to grill the heck out of her tomorrow.

***

Your friends cheered at the top of their lungs as you downed your fourth shot of the night and slammed the glass on the table with a sigh. You were drinking with a purpose and, you were resolute on achieving it.

"Who are you, and what have you done to my roommate?" Nobara exclaimed as her arm flung around your shoulder, and her other cradled your face in a side hug. Yuuji, your classmate, looked slightly concerned but never commented on it, and Megumi seemed embarrassed just to be seen out and about with the three of you.

From a third person's point of view, it would've seemed like you had been dumped by your one true love, in the cruelest way imaginable to mankind.

But you weren't.

You were just celebrating frickin' New Year's Day with your new friends from college.

And, not to be mistaken, they were great. All three of them. In their different ways.

But nothing can ever replace home, can it?

For the past two days, you four had been out and about, partying.

Diner after diner. Bar after bar.

There's truly nothing more appealing to college students than discounted food.

The countdown for New Year's started, and your phone rang.

It was Maki. "I bet you forgot all about me, right?" She joked, in her usual sassy tone.

"You think, dummy? HAPPY NEW YEARS!" You cheered along with the crowd, while still talking to her. But, she remained silent. "Hey, you there?"

After a few moments of silence, she shrieked, "OH MY GOD! YES, YES!"

"WHAT HAPPENED?" You mirrored her excitement, trying to figure out the reason. "MAKI, SAY SOMETHING!"

"HE PROPOSED!" Her shrieks seemed more muffled this time as if her face was buried, "I'M GETTING MARRIED!"

And that one sentence sobered you up completely.

"OH MY GOD!" Excitement ran through your whole body like a current. "CONGRATULATIONS!"

You were almost jumping. Nobara too. She didn't even know why!

It felt as if you were more exhilarated for her than she was but, of course, that wasn't true. "I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU, MAKI! CONGRATULATION!"

It was a good day, you told yourself.

It was an effing great day!

Tags: @mandysfanfics

#geto suguru #geto x reader #getou suguru x reader #jjk #jjk geto #jjk imagines #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu geto #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jjk shoko #yutamaki #suguru geto x reader #jjk suguru #jujutsu kaisen suguru #geto x you #geto x oc #geto x y/n

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cecil---markowitz · 1 year ago

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Heyo! It's me! Cecil Markowitz! (Ooc: I got my pfp from @ask-will-solace-stuff)

Anyways

My mutuals/friends/favorites

@miranda-gardiner my sweet, loving, amazing and awesome mother figure ❤☺

@sweetxloverxx she's back!!! YAY!!! I love her so much, she's amazing, lovely and beautiful and kind ❤🥰 My precious girlfriend 💞

@the-better-stoll-brother the best big brother ❤ (besides Travis and Chris)

@ellis--wakefield you along with Miranda, Lou and Haven make up most of my posts and well...I have to admit, you're pretty cool 🙂 But still annoying 😒

@that-one-munlith you're interesting

@lou-ellen--blackstone my adoring and amazing best friend for everrrr (*^o^)人(^o^*) ❤ (you're my ride or die and my partner-in-crime bestie)

@ellis-aka-the-bomb-dot-com you're pretty cool when you're not trying to argue with me (Ooc: I also really appreciate you giving that explanation for the line thingy) I also have to admit... You are also kind of awesome

I appreciate the bakings man

@the-better-castellan best big sibling as well ❤

@arejbehllaj my sister but you're really really annoying. But I erm... Tolerate you

@eazojbehllaj way better than the other one

@the-replacement-prankster is very annoying but she's lovely ❤

@hearts-4-valentina a close friend of mine ❤

(Ooc: Also I redid this uh, what's this called?, intro post, so yeah.)

OOC ↓:

Heyo! Down here! Hi! So I'm so so glad you're seeing this! I am having an Ask Game going on! So you should definitely check that out! Down here ↓

#cecil markowitz #percy jackson roleplay #pjo rp #demigod reader

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theresattrpgforthat · 10 months ago

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Learning How to Play Protect the Child: Part 5: Rest Stops.

If you have never played a Forged in the Dark game before, picking up one can be intimidating, and that includes Protect the Child. In Part 1, I introduced the Action Roll, as well as Position & Effect. In Part 2, I talk about assembling your dice. In Part 3, I talked about Resistance, and in Part 4, I brought up stress and how it works uniquely in Protect the Child.

Today, I’m going to talk about Rest Stops and bonding. In Blades in the Dark, every mission undertaken is followed by something called Downtime, which gives your characters a chance to heal from harm, work on long term projects, and mitigate their stress. In Protect the Child, however, this works a little bit differently.

After the monsters have completed a significant obstacle or found a natural break in the story, the group will shift to a Rest Stop. This is a moment for your characters to breathe, bond, and figure out how to parent.

There are two options for actions you can take during a Rest Stop: bonding with the Child, and bonding with each-other.

When you bond with the Child, you are doing one of two things: helping them work through their Emotions, or building a relationship of Trust.

If the Child is feeling angry, sad, or another emotion, your character will need to find a way to connect with them and help them process what they’re feeling. You will roll dice and add any pips you have in Heart. As usual, if you have no pips in Heart, you must roll 2 dice and take the lowest; although you can spend stress just like you would if you were undertaking an Action Roll.

You can also Bond with the Child when they don’t have any Emotions marked. You’ll still roll Heart, but what you get from the results will change.

As you can see, helping a kid who doesn’t quite have a handle on their emotions can be quite stressful! Now let’s talk about a way you can try to mitigate some of that Stress.

Your other option during a Rest Stop is to bond with each-other. The player who chooses this action describes a short scene that involves their character and one other player character. The instigator of this action then has a chance to confront the other character about an Impression that they’ve developed over the course of their acquaintance.

The recipient of this question has two options: to respond honestly to the question or confrontation, or not. If they respond honestly, both the instigator and the recipient clear 2 stress. If they lie, evade, or refuse to respond, only the instigator clears 2 stress.

After two people bond with each-other, both characters have an opportunity to change their Impressions of each-other. This change could be for better or worse!

Finally, at the end of the Rest Stop, you can clear some of your Knocks. Minor Knocks (Level 1) go away. Moderate Knocks (Level 2) are downgraded to Minor, and Major Knocks (Level 3) are downgraded to Moderate.

There is a longer version of Rest Stops, called Time Passes, that can also take place in campaigns of Protect the Child, but I think we’ll save those rules for another time!

Next week, I’ll talk about the Trust Track and player Weaknesses!

If you want to start learning how to play Protect the Child, I recommend taking a look at the Google Spreadsheets linked on the store page and flipping through the character tabs. The Quickstart characters are 90% fleshed out and can give you an idea of what different character pieces can look like, and there’s a rules reference for how to roll underneath the stats for each character.

I also believe that playing is one of the easiest ways to learn, so if you want some hands on experience, hop into the playtest discord! There is at least one game happening every week designed to be easy for first-timers to hop into and give it a whirl.

If you want to read more about Forged in the Dark play, you can check out my intro to Forged in the Dark, as well as my explanation of clocks!

#protect the child #how to #forged in the dark #mint speaks #indie ttrpgs #indie games

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system-of-a-feather · 1 year ago

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New Pinned Post

I'm no longer in need of back up money, so commissions aren't needed, but if you ever want to commission me, I'm usually open. I also occasionally put some of my art on redbubble.

Please read Boundaries before sending an ask.

Anyways, hello everyone, I am too lazy to find my old crack DID pride flag (it'll come up some day and I'll link it here), and I figured I should slowly update some of my intro stuff for this blog after not touching it for a fucking minute.

You can call me Feathers - we're a 21+ year old Buddhist mixed-AAPI intersex nonbinary system (they/them) that is fully fused. There's a lot of oddities going on with our system so here is a bit of an explanation of our system situation here. "So what's up with the Feathers anyways?"

OUT OF DATE (5/15/2014); Keeping for it being an interesting post. For the most recent discussion on Buddhism, Full Integration, Final Fusion, and Functional Multiplicity written by our fully fused self before our recent decision to swap back to Functional Mulitiplicity, feel free to read here; it's long but a pretty cohesive understanding of our current experiences with our DID and shit. (End of OUT OF DATE note)

We're diagnosed with DID, C-PTSD, autism, trichotillomania, OCD, and honestly a number of things cause complex-trauma life. We have some physical disabilities but nothing that typically causes too much obstruction in our day to day.

As a result of our state of recovery, we really don't have a set headcount, however we were / are polyfragmented.

Some fun things about us and things you'll see on this blog:

Due to the fact that DID is no longer really that much of an interesting topic / impactful part of our life, we only occasionally post about DID and our experiences with it. While it was the original purpose of this blog, as a depiction of our healing journey and what healing with DID can look like, we decided we would rather just post about whatever sparks joy in our life. As a result, rather than much content on DID, you will likely see things relating to the topics below. PLEASE feel free to send asks about ANY of the topics below. We love to talk about things.

We are Buddhist (primarily non-theistic; mostly non-denominational, largely Zen) and we really enjoy it. We particularly like the philosophy and do practice it. Admittedly, we identify as being god awful Buddhists, but thats okay cause its part of the process.

We love research and plan to go into it when our ducks are better aligned. We particularly love research and literature around developmental psychopathology, trauma, dissociation, animal behavior, and the more abstract neuroscience topics (particularly consciousness research). We likely won't post much on it as overtly here because I don't enjoy talking science on tumblr much because most people (in my experience) don't actually want to talk about research as much as they want to prove their point.

We are avid bird watchers and regularly document / photograph the birds we see and upload them to ebird. We really enjoy it as an activity and social engagement and really love sharing that joy and knowledge with people. We actually have a minor in Avian Science and have been tested on North American ID skills. We also know more than we need to about chicken biology as a result of said degree. If you want to send anything about birds, bird watching, or asking for a bird ID (even non North American), they are ALWAYS welcome and you are ALWAYS allowed to tag us in any bird related content.

We do a lot of creative work and have dedicated ourselves (without writing partner) to a large story world project that we've been writing for over a decade now. We actually specifically started grinding our art skills in 2020 specifically just to help build that world up. Art is one of our largest self soothing coping mechanisms. We are going to turn that story world into a comic and a TTRPG system so please check out @thedevaaffliction.

Overall, we really just like thinking about a lot of topics and things as part of both our interest in research, philosophy, and as part of our Buddhist practice. We don't really find an interest in arguing discourse / syscourse because we really dislike and see very little benefit in debate. That said, we love to discuss experiences, thoughts, feelings and perspectives on complex topics and as long as the intent is to discuss and share rather than to "win" or "prove", we really enjoy that sort of enrichment in our life so we do welcome it. That said, we withhold the right to deem any conversation as more debate than discussion and to abandon it.

Additionally, related to the fifth point, we believe in being fully transparent about our past and admission that we were wrong as we think it is very important to be able to re-evaluate your beliefs and opinions and grow. In our mid teens we actually were pretty far into the alt-right pipeline and until about a year or so ago, we were staunch anti-endos. These days we are basically commies and very pro-endo. If anyone has any interest on how we pivoted so hard in our opinions on those topics, we are more than open to talk and discuss it as well as any insights we pulled from the experience.

Also we love martial arts - I forgot that cause I'm not particularly XIV brained rn but we REALLY enjoy martial arts.

We suck at being labeled and having labels. We're just very very queer.

--------------

DNI:

People who put on their socks/shoes in the order of Sock-Shoe-Sock-Shoe

That's about it. We liberally block, so we don't really worry about DNIs. If we don't like your content for any reason, we will remove it from our dash. Whether or not you want to interact with us is up to you past that point. Generally, we welcome anyone to follow as it can make for good conversation.

#pinned post #alter: fei #alter: riku

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lbwp · 1 year ago

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Vibe check otd

Just reread the intro of my first post and it sounds like the bad intro of a YA novel. My apologies, I promise I'm a half decent writer sometimes. Anywayss..

I'm sitting here wondering if maybe I should like, seek the help of a licensed psychologist to sort out the jumble of misfirings that is my headspace. Every time I think I may have something about myself figured out I either second guess myself, second guess myself because someone/thing invalidates me, second guess myself because someone/thing gives me a better explanation, etc. etc. Long story short I always second guess myself. So I jump around from label to label, idea to idea, explanation to explanation, and I've never really been able to settle on one right. So basically I just pick the one that seems vaguely right and slap it on like a pride sticker on a queer's water bottle.

Today's musings: Am I actually Aromantic but have just gaslit the fuck out of myself into thinking I have feelings for people?

Prompt: I never hold feelings past a certain point, maybe I just misread wanting to be friends as wanting to date because of generalized expectations.

Issues with this: I constantly crave many aspects of romantic relationships and also I really like making out with people.

Another thought, maybe I'm not aro or ace and I've just actually gaslit myself into the possibility because of #trauma.

Am I perhaps misconstruing everything about myself? Maybe. Hence the desire for mental help :P

xoxo

#confusedasexualbedrat #ace #asexual #pride #aromantic #sexuality #confused #helpme #ipossiblyneedintensepsychologicalinvestigation #teehee

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zombirps · 1 year ago

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Rules/Intro

Hi I'm Pie! I was a part of this community back when I was 14ish, then came back (4???) years ago before disappearing again. Yes, it's me. Lot of stuff happened and I'm now super safe and happy, and came back specifically to hang with a homie.

Anywhoo, recent-ish diagnoses with my doctors pinpointed that my PTSD caused a lot of memory issues- so I don't remember much. Just remember that the community is full of talented people, and wanna be here to vibrate positive stoner energy uvu~

RULES

-Don't godmode, or cause extreme harm to characters without talking first. There are a lot of characters I'm ok with being hurt, or have some form of condition that helps with them being hurt. Just ask.

-I do not interact with minors. I understand how it feels to be blocked out of communities because of your age(Trust me- I been fantrolling way too long). I also have seen the other side of that, where some of the adults I interacted with were good people- but some were REALLY not good people. I do not have the emotional energy to curate my space to make it safe for minors- so it's safer for them to just not be a part of it. If you hit the follow button, you are confirming you are over the age of 18. I will check my following occasionally, and if you're a minor I will block you. And you will stay blocked, even after you come of age.

-I'm really not gonna care too much about blocking, but if you have a problem with me please feel free- I would love to know the reason why, as it would help me to know how to treat my own friends better, but no one owes me an explanation.

-If you DO have a problem with me, then dm me. Or block me. Don't do it on anon. I value communication a lot, and there's no good way to have a conversation through anon.

-As stated before, I have a fairly severe memory disability- if I forget an RP, tell me. I am mostly doing stuff on discord but-- yaknow. Just in case.

-I don't really want to focus on unsubstantiated rumors about "___" did this or "___" does that. It's exhausting. If someone does something fucked up, bring it up with evidence. If you're sending an anon that says "____" is evil and terrible and blah blah blah, it comes off as manipulative, and robbing me and whoever you are accusing of constructive conversation. I will never mistreat someone who needs to talk about their personal experience, or wants to tell me about something. Just gotta do it right.

TLDR I guess: No minors, my memory is broke as shit, No godmode, Block me if you want, Communication is king, Unsubstantiated rumors are bad tea and give me a tummy ache.

I'll add more as I get em LOL

#pisspie #rules

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voiceoffenrisulfr · 2 years ago

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Silver & Gold - Chapter One

CW: Possible risk of injury/death via motorcycle. Prompts filled: ‘Offering their jacket’, ‘Slipping on Ice’ (Alternate), ‘Winter Date’ – Winter Wonderland Bingo. ‘Romantic Gesture’ – Any Fandom Fluff Bingo. ‘Candle Light’ – Sweet & Spicy Bingo.

Multi's Lia finally gets to celebrate her birthday alone, with only the love of this life for company. A/N: Multitudes is our Marvel fic featuring Natasha Romanoff with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Lia, therefore, can be seen to be Natasha. Fandom. ... Mostly? It's complicated. XD Definitely canon-divergent, either way. So very, very divergent.

Cards below! Check it out on AO3 here, or below the cards!

@anyfandomfluffbingo @sweetspicybingo @seasonaldelightsbingo

I guess this is an intro, of sorts? Slimmed down and with identifiers removed. Chapter one starts proper below this weird introduction as to how I met him. Y'all know me, and James (and Winter, and now there's Tem, too). We're part of Multi. Bug is... well, the love of the boys' life. But this is about Mine. My Yoshitsune. It was the worst day of my life to date when he found me. Two days out from August, the height of summer and discomfort. James had fled in distress, leaving me to find comfort in his partner – someone I did, in fact, find comforting. But then… Oh. The first thing Yoshitsune – Yoshi, as I knew him then – ever did was offer me his lap, metal arms spread wide, inviting me into his broad embrace. Curling up against him was the first time I had felt at home since this life began. He held me together without knowing it – without knowing me. He knew some things, of course. He knew about poor, tiny, broken Lia. But he’d never met me before, and yet offered me refuge in a storm that threatened to end me. I was smitten. And it was only the very same day that my hopes turned to ash before my eyes for the first time at her name. His ’one true love’. The fourth was the first time he blatantly flirted with me. He’d long been calling me ‘sweet girl’, but now he span me around and kissed my hair… And teased me about his black uniform. I asked about her, and he assured me that he doesn’t begrudge her doing what she likes. I… Made my excuses. ‘You’ve been so good to me.’ ‘I just like to help.’ ‘She really wouldn’t mind, ‘long as you understand my heart’s only hers.’ It had been… It had been less than two weeks. But that line… It hit me like a truck, like a knife in my heart, an arrow to my soul. ‘I'm so goddamn sorry, little one. I do love you. I just can't... y'know.’ I know, Yoshitsune. I know. You loved me… But I was falling so very quickly, so very swiftly, in love with you. ‘He adores her. He’s just… Already got his queen.’ I’ve never felt so… So… Not-enough. So devastated over this man I barely knew – this sweet man who held me close and hummed country songs. This man who belonged to someone else, no matter how much I found myself belonging to him.

It took five days for him to see me again. I apologized, he forgave me. I made my excuses, my lied explanations as to why I’d been mistaken. ‘I misread my feelings – James is falling in love, it affected my brain’. I lied to him because I couldn’t face his wincing when I told him the truth.

But that didn’t stop his fury when he found out about this world being no kinder to me than that one. When Clint told him about me being harassed, he was furious. He held me – sang to me. Fast Car. It was that day that it became my favorite song.

The first time I told him I loved him, it was early September. I hedged – I said it wasn’t like the boys and their Bug. I lied to him. ‘I know, and I love you too, little one. Guess I was nervous to say so 'cause - not like they do, like you said, and I didn't want to give you the wrong idea. But you're precious and you deserve so much better than what's been done to you and it's great that I can make you feel safe.’ I hoped… Stupidly, I hoped, more than anything, that he’d tell me he loved me exactly like they loved one another. But he didn’t, and I broke. I couldn’t face the falling without him, and I couldn’t keep going. I broke in his arms, and I needed him to save me. I drew him a motorbike, and he drew me a sylveon. And then I… Broke. Then I realised I couldn’t hide my truth anymore. And I intended to leave – I intended to make it easier for him, but their Bug wouldn’t let me go so easily. And so I had to give him my letter. "...I love that you make this life bearable. I love that you make me not hate myself - that the way you see me is exciting and intoxicating and something I could spend my life hearing. I love that you protect me, and care about me. I love that you are so fiercely loyal and look after everyone around you. I love that you're so damn sweet that you panic about your sexuality in case it makes you intolerant. I love your crooked grin and that killer jawline and that I feel so very safe when you hold me. I love that you drew for me. I love that you know nothing about dance, and yet still really, really want to see me dance. I love that you call me beautiful and I feel like you mean it. I love that you are... Sometimes a bit of a dumbass and say things you maybe shouldn't. I love that you know me so well that you often say the exact thing you should. I love that you love her so much..."

And he… Oh, him. ‘...wow, I was right when I said I didn't have anything suave to say. Good thing you like me being a dumbass, I guess. I love you, Lia, very much the way they love their boys. I want nothing more than to take care of you...'

He kissed me. He kissed me and my heart broke in the most beautiful way.

We didn’t have it easy, of course. I’m not an easy choice. But we muddled through eating disorder flare-ups and attempted runaways, and for once, I had a love in my life that felt like mine. For once, everything felt… Possible.

And we can’t ever have the life I wish we could. But I can certainly write about it. I can certainly establish what I would want, if we could. I can’t make my dreams come true with you, Yoshitsune… But I can tell you what they are. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Our first date alone was my birthday. I’d never celebrated my birthday alone – being one of four was likely to do that to a girl. I was always one of four – and I was fine with that, truly. But here was this man, this incredible gentleman who loved only me, and I was blessed. He’d promised me for months that he would take me on his motorbike. Canadian winter was likely not the best time for it, given that temperatures in central Alberta rarely rose above freezing – but I trusted him implicitly. He'd never put me at risk, and if he felt confident enough to take me out, I knew I��d be fine. When he finally offered me a leather jacket and a helmet, however, I blinked in disbelief. “Yoshitsune… My hair took me over an hour, and you choose today to take me out on your bike?” With a theatrical sigh, I leant against his chest. “I suppose I’ll have to cope…” He grinned and kissed my forehead, lips curling higher on one side. “Swan, you’ll be beautiful regardless. Maybe I’m just trying to even us out a little.” My fingers trailed through his own hair tenderly, pushing a few stray strands from his forehead. “I don’t think that’s possible, Silver.” Chuckling softly, he pulled me closer, gentle kisses trailing down my throat. “No, you’re right. You’re far too gorgeous. I’ll never catch up.” It was predictable, but it still made me smile, my lips trailing his sharp jawline adoringly. “Sometimes I worry for your sanity, Yoshitsune. Or at least your eyesight.” He rolled his eyes fondly, steel fingers skimming my cheek lightly. “I’m neither insane nor sight-impaired, cutie. You’re simply the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” With a quiet purr of joy, I touched my lips to his tenderly, whimpering with need when his hand shifted to my hair, making him draw back with a weak groan. “Easy with me, my Golden Swan. You’re testing my resolve.” “Fuck your resolve,” I muttered, tugging him closer by the front of his shirt. “Fuck me... Please?” He let out a quiet, frustrated whine, but released me reluctantly, eyes narrowing. “We’ve talked about this, Li...” With a sigh, I nodded obediently, unable to keep from rolling my eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I know. Date first...” I sighed once more as I smoothed the front of his shirt, nibbling on my lip. “I’ve just waited so long for you...” Groaning, he pushed a hand through his hair, nodding. “I know. And it’s taking everything I have not to say, ‘fuck the date’, and take you to bed. But... You’ve never really celebrated a birthday to yourself before. So, please – let me spoil you.” I whined petulantly, but couldn’t hide my secret delight as he offered me the helmet once more. “I suppose I can tolerate that...”

I should have expected it, really. Nothing about this man screamed ‘law-abiding citizen’. Even so, hurtling down winding country roads in the sunset would have been terrifying enough with the snow clinging to the ground, but it was exponentially more terrifying at 20 miles an hour over the speed limit. On a motorcycle. At least he’d had the sense to ease my legs into leathers, his hands gentle on my skin. My arms were clamped around his waist as I squealed into my helmet, his shoulders shaking beneath my cheek each time we accelerated around a bend and I held him tighter. If anything, my death-grip on him only seemed to spur him on, the bike gradually roaring louder in my ears as he flung us seemingly with abandon around the bends. But eventually, we hit civilization, and he was he forced to slow to a more reasonable speed, my breath rasping through my visor audibly and making him laugh aloud. “Are you okay back there, Swan?” I could only nod against him, breathless and exhilarated. Despite the speed and the ice, I’d never felt safer than with my arms around him. He'd never let anything happen to me. The back tire skidded to one side as he pulled into the lot, spraying ice-crusted gravel and making me yelp, earning a gentle chuckle for my surprise. When he cut the engine, I finally – reluctantly – released my grip on his waist, sighing just a little at no longer being able to hold him so tightly, but he simply raised an eyebrow as he slid from the bike, hands finding my waist to lift me easily and eliciting a giggle for his efforts. “Happy you finally got your ride?” “It wasn’t the one I was looking forward to most…” I breathed, grinning when he swallowed dryly. “Aurelia… You’ll be the death of me,” he murmured, tugging my helmet over my head gently to run a hand through my hair. “But what a fine way to go.” Purring, I leant into the gloved palm on my cheek, chuckling softly. “Mm. Later, Soldier. Remember?” I tapped my feet excitedly, leaning to peer around him, raising an eyebrow. “… Dinner? Bold choice, Yoshitsune.” He laughed aloud, tugging off his own helmet as his other arm draped over my shoulders. “I know. I was feeling brave, I guess. But I also know you’re very much a fan of Italian food and wine, so I figured I couldn’t go too wrong.” I looked up, taking in the cut of his jaw and oh, those eyes, please God, never stop looking at me, and beamed, before hesitating worriedly. “Wine? Yoshitsune, I-” He rolled his eyes dramatically, holding me closer against him when I shivered. “You can have a couple of glasses of wine if you want to, Aurelia. I’ll be fine. I promise.” Despite stretching onto my toes, he still had to incline his head a little for me to kiss his cheek, making him smile fondly. “Who needs wine? You’re intoxicating enough.” My words earned me a snort, but the sound was quickly cut off as my flats slipped on black ice, disguised beneath the gravel, foot sliding forward as my stomach dropped. He’d never let anything happen to me. No sooner had the jarring movement begun than his arm was around my waist, pulling me closer against him and halting my descent. “Are you okay?” I laughed softly, gazing up at him in wonder. “You always catch me, don’t you?” His lips brushed against mine, lopsided smile as captivating as ever in the low light of twilight. “Always, my sweet Swan.” I couldn’t help but giggle happily as he pulled me up against his chest, shivering minutely against the sharp breeze. His eyebrow raised, shrugging off his jacket quickly, shaking his head as I opened my mouth to object. “I’m used to the climate, little one. And there’s a lot more of me than you.” My cheeks heated as he draped the leather over my shoulders, the heat from his body seeping into my bones as his aftershave wreathed around me, my feet tapping happily in response. “You’re too good to me, Silver.” One metal arm sound around my waist as we continued across the lot, pulling me protectively against his side as we moved through the hidden ice. “You deserve the world, Aurelia. I’m just doing what I can.”

What he could, evidently, included a restaurant so eye-wateringly expensive that my mouth ran dry, and him kneeling before me in full view of the maître-d’, gently sliding the leathers from my legs as I blushed furiously at his romanticism. The place itself, despite the price, was refreshingly intimate, flickering candlelight reflecting on his arms as he watched me attentively, drawing my adoring touch despite myself and making him grin once more. “You’re so beautiful,” I murmured, eyes crinkling with joy. At his suggestion – and doubtless the result of intense research – I’d ordered lasagna while he tucked into something that even I couldn’t pronounce, slick with oil and topped with parmesan. He grinned back at me as he arranged his cutlery precisely; a remnant of enforced etiquette training, leftover from a troubled youth filled with expectations he’d baulked at. No… My Yoshitsune is a gentleman, no doubt, but certainly not the one his mother had expected of him, with metal arms and sniper training. He's perfect. “Isn’t today supposed to be about you?” he quipped, bringing my hand to his lips to press a gentle kiss to my knuckles, gray eyes shining as they locked on mine, making me flush predictably. “Well… You’re my everything. It can’t be about me without being about you, too,” I replied shyly, free hand toying with a strand of my hair. He chuckled quietly, one eyebrow raising. “Oh, I’m pretty sure I’m going to get what I want soon enough, little one.” His other hand lifted automatically to reach for the bill, and I swallowed dryly, eyes lowered demurely. “I agree.”

#fanfiction #mine #fandom: marvel #winter wonderland bingo #writing bingo #writers on tumblr #SteelSwan #Pairing: Natasha/Original Character #Ish #It's complicated #Lia speaks #Lia/Yoshi #Aurelia/Yoshitsune #Silver & Gold

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