#commitment phobic society be like

[cerebraldischarge]

When people say you're an interesting person but then don't spend the rest of their life with you, it feels like being lied to, and that sucks.

Like, don't give me any attention if you're gonna turn around and also give it to other things. Don't lead me on, because even though I know I can't be loved, there's still a part of me that wants to be.

Blehhh. Relationships are tough.

[haggishlyhagging]

The more women are paid, the less eager they are to marry. A 1982 study of three thousand singles found that women earning high incomes are almost twice as likely to want to remain unwed as women earning low incomes. "What is going to happen to marriage and childbearing in a society where women really have equality?" Princeton demographer Charles Westoff wondered in the Wall Street Journal in 1986. "The more economically independent women are, the less attractive marriage becomes."

Men in the '80s, on the other hand, were a little more anxious to marry than the press accounts let on. Single men far outnumbered women in dating services, matchmaking clubs, and the personals columns, all of which enjoyed explosive growth in the decade. In the mid-80s, video dating services were complaining of a three-to-one male-to-female sex ratio in their membership rolls. In fact, it had become common practice for dating services to admit single women at heavily reduced rates, even free memberships, in hopes of remedying the imbalance.

Personal ads were similarly lopsided. In an analysis of 1,200 ads in 1988, sociologist Theresa Montini found that most were placed by thirty-five-year-old heterosexual men and the vast majority "wanted a long-term relationship." Dating service directors reported that the majority of men they counseled were seeking spouses, not dates. When Great Expectations, the nation's largest dating service, surveyed its members in 1988, it found that 93 percent of the men wanted, within one year, to have either "a commitment with one person" or marriage. Only 7 percent of the men said they were seeking "lots of dates with different people." Asked to describe "what concerns you the day after you had sex with a new partner," only 9 percent of the men checked "Was I good?" while 42 percent said they were wondering whether it could lead to a "committed relationship."

These men had good cause to pursue nuptials; if there's one pattern that psychological studies have established, it's that the institution of marriage has an overwhelmingly salutary effect on men's mental health. "Being married," the prominent government demographer Paul Glick once estimated, "is about twice as advantageous to men as to women in terms of continued survival." Or, as family sociologist Jessie Bernard wrote in 1972:

“There are few findings more consistent, less equivocal, [and] more convincing, than the sometimes spectacular and always impressive superiority on almost every index—demographic, psychological, or social—of married over never-married men. Despite all the jokes about marriage in which men indulge, all the complaints they lodge against it, it is one of the greatest boons of their sex.”

Bernard's observation still applies. As Ronald C. Kessler, who tracks changes in men's mental health at the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research, says: "All this business about how hard it is to be a single woman doesn't make much sense when you look at what's really going on. It's single men who have the worst of it. When men marry, their mental health massively increases."

The mental health data, chronicled in dozens of studies that have looked at marital differences in the last forty years, are consistent and overwhelming: The suicide rate of single men is twice as high as that of married men. Single men suffer from nearly twice as many severe neurotic symptoms and are far more susceptible to nervous breakdowns, depression, even nightmares. And despite the all-American image of the carefree single cowboy, in reality bachelors are far more likely to be morose, passive, and phobic than married men.

When contrasted with single women, unwed men fared no better in mental health studies. Single men suffer from twice as many mental health impairments as single women; they are more depressed, more passive, more likely to experience nervous breakdowns and all the designated symptoms of psychological distress—from fainting to insomnia. In one study, one third of the single men scored high for severe neurotic symptoms; only 4 percent of the single women did.

-Susan Faludi, Backlash: the Undeclared War Against American Women

[canichangemyblogname]

Before coming to understand my own dysphoria, I believed I was aro/ace. (While simultaneously knowing I wasn't. I know, it's confusing. I was, in fact, confused.) And I-- of course-- ran into the phenomenon of people not taking that identity at face value. I was "commitment-phobic," or I hadn't "really" experimented or put myself out there; anything, really, to suggest that I didn't know myself well and know well enough that I did not want a romantic or sexual relationship.

Hell, I had one guy tell me I was "too pretty" not to "experience sexual desire" (asexuality is not-- never mind) or want romance, and if that's not incredibly creepy and misogynistic--

I also remember a woman and college peer telling me that I dressed too feminine to be asexual. And that was-- confusing. Asexual people don't have a "look."

Now that I finally understand my dysphoria and have opened myself up to exploring my gender, I have also begun to slowly get comfortable with my own sexuality, which I have long suppressed. I'm not yet completely comfortable with expressing my sexuality because I do not feel completely secure in my gender yet. This is all still quite new to me. Dysphoria also makes intimacy very difficult. I am also so afraid that my sexuality will not be respected because society does not see me for who I am.

But now I am experiencing the exact opposite of what I did when I believed I was cis. I express hesitancy, and people are quick to jump to, "Are you sure you're not aro/ace?" (I am sure. I am very much sure.) Whereas before, whenever I expressed hesitancy, people told me it was because I just hadn't met the right person yet. (Also, the hesitancy I'm expressing now isn't indicative of confusion about my sexuality. It's stuff like, "I don't really think I'm in the right headspace for a relationship," or "I'm not sure I'm far enough in my personal journey to feel at home in a relationship and comfortable with that kind of intimacy" or "I'm kinda depressed right now, and I'd really like to try and get out of this rut.")

When I believed I was cis and was trying to be a fem-presenting woman, it was a lot of, "Are you sure you're not just straight?" Now that I am finally willing to admit to myself that I am gay for men, I get a lot of, "Are you sure you're not aro/ace? Maybe sex repulsed?" It reveals people's discomfort with a gender-conforming woman not having a socially acceptable sexuality. It also reveals people's discomfort with trans people having a sexuality that includes sexual desire. It's homophobic. It's aphobic. It's transphobic. It was misogynistic.

[skzpirateside]

In college, along with letting go of his future as an orthopedic surgeon, Tillman also started to loosen his grip on the idea that he was straight. He began exploring his sexuality, dating both men and women for a time. "I had to do it silently" he remembers. It didn't feel like there was space for him to explore openly, and he'd grown up in the Baptist church, where anything other than heterosexuality wasn't an option. "I just started to question it the more my world opened up," he says. The world he lives in now is one that he would have had a hard time picturing back then.

Since 2014, he's been living in New York, hustling at times between auditions and holding down multiple jobs. He had a quick stint in Los Angeles around 2017, where he aimed to focus more on TV and film, before returning back East in 2018 to play a gay coffee-shop owner on the short-lived series Dietland. A year later, he appeared on Broadway as activist Bob Moses in The Great Society. He also started to think more about his love life and his identity relating to it. "I remember going through a list," he tells me.

“I looked up the top 100 gay men in the industry. The majority of them were white."

He worried that coming out publicly as gay would affect which roles would be available to him. "I had this knock on my heart saying, 'Tramell, you have a choice." As he saw it, there were three paths. He could get a beard and play straight for the rest of his life; stay permanently single and keep his sexuality a mystery; or he could just be open. One night, he dreamt that he was onstage, and just off to the side was a man holding a baby. He didn't recognize either of them, but he knew that the man was supposed to be his husband and the baby was their child. He woke up in tears, resolving to live as his authentic self.

Tillman is comfortable with his sexuality now. He even came to these same botanical gardens last year for a date: "It was like a Hallmark holiday fairy tale," he remembers. Still, anyone trying the apps in New York City, regardless of their orientation, wouldn't say it's a breeze. Having seen the biceps currently hidden beneath his suede jacket on TV, and having spent the afternoon with an up-close view of his radiant smile and kind eyes, it's difficult for me to believe that the man in front of me has ever even minimally struggled in the romance department. but it turns out his problem is one I can relate to: He's a total romantic in a city of commitment-phobic cynics. His ideal first date? An open house. Partly, it's his inner HGTV fan coming out. It can also tell you a lot about the person you're trying to date, Tillman says. "You can also learn how they navigate awkward situations, he tells me. "Most people just want to go to the bar, and there's nothing wrong with that. But I'm five years sober, so there's only so many ginger ales I can have before it gets old."

At the moment, Tillman isn't dating at all. He's busy wrapping up a two-month run of Slave Play director Robert O'Hara's latest, Shit.Meet Fan., at the MCC Theater, and preparing for the world to see him on the big screen in Dead Reckoning, the eighth installment of the Mission: Impossible franchise, this spring. He has, however, been reflecting on exactly what it is that he's looking for in a relationship. "Now I know what I want," he says.

"I'm old-school. It's harder for people to want to court now. I'm loyal; when I find somebody and I ride with you, I am with you. I think it's a beautiful way to have a relationship, but it's not the most popular way right now.

tramell tillmann

[redjadethewriter]

Representation of LGBTQ+ People In Entertainment Has Always Been Awful And Inaccurate.

LGBTQIA+ representation in media has historically been mostly terrible, with only a few exceptions. However, there is an overwhelming abundance of harmful tropes. Although I’m tempted to express my frustration with the Cis Hetero community for constantly promoting hetero-normative propaganda, I’m supposed to hold my tongue. What bothers me the most is when people complain about diversity being forced upon them and dismiss it as “woke” nonsense. I really want to tell them that I have been bombarded with hetero-patriarchal, misogynistic, and gender role propaganda since birth. How is that any different? It’s just the opposite side of the same coin, yet they fail to realize that they are the villains in someone else’s story. Furthermore, the distressing amount of misrepresentation of Lesbians, Gays, Trans, Asexuals, Bisexuals, and others is incredibly disheartening. The entertainment industry’s use of queer-baiting to attract the LGBTQ+ community is the worst tactic. I remember watching countless films and TV series where we were portrayed as exaggerated side characters with no depth. Even worse, we were often killed off or depicted as predators. We were used as the butt of jokes, ridiculed in various ways, and subjected to disgusting scenes for comedic effect. Let’s face it, discrimination is still rampant today. People with rigid and narrow perspectives see everyone as the same, disregarding individuality.

I didn’t enjoy watching lesbian characters being depicted as predators to other women. It bothered me because I knew there would be consequences based on who watched it. After all, there are a lot more heterosexual predators in the world than lesbians. So, how do you think this would go? A heterosexual woman might believe that a good majority are predatory. It’s frustrating when women have said to me, which has happened before, “I’m so glad you’re not a predator.” And to make matters worse, these women were heterosexual. I looked at them in disbelief, thinking, “Are you serious right now?” I can understand that some lesbians, although very few and not even a fraction of the population, may have boundary issues. But to generalize and assume that all lesbians are predators? It’s just not fair. It really struck a chord with me when I heard that sentence, because I don’t like it when people lump the very few mentally ill individuals and automatically think they represent the majority of lesbians or bisexuals. By the way, bisexuals are the most assaulted in society. Just something to keep in mind. Okay!

The issue arises when heterosexual characters in films and TV exhibit predatory behavior towards women. As someone who has watched many classic Westerns, I was taken aback by how the writers portrayed men committing criminal acts against women. These actions were presented as entertainment, and it is disheartening that viewers at that time saw nothing wrong with it. Even in heterosexual romantic comedies, male characters often resort to coercion to win women over or persuade them into intimate encounters. It is difficult to understand how this has become normalized. The power of entertainment to shape people’s minds is undeniable. It is the very reason why I had to venture into the depths of the internet universe, seeking out like-minded individuals in order to access shows and films that were not available in my country. Unfortunately, many of these stories ended tragically, with characters succumbing to cancer or meeting a violent demise. Though there were a few instances of happy endings, they were far outnumbered by the negative outcomes.

I also despised the way they labeled a woman as a lesbian character in the 90s, only to later show her dating men. It made me question why they couldn’t call her bisexual, but then I remembered how bi-phobic people can be. It’s frustrating how the entertainment industry loves featuring lesbians, but often fails to accurately represent them. Most of the time, they end up writing bisexual characters, but they seem to prefer portraying lesbians as villains, killing them off, or having them fall in love with men, perpetuating the harmful notion that the right guy can change someone’s sexual orientation. As a non-hypersexual, demisexual lesbian, this lack of proper representation is even more disheartening. One particular episode of “House” really bothered me with how they treated an asexual character, claiming that it’s only natural to constantly desire someone. I couldn’t help but exclaim, “Excuse me! What’s wrong with not constantly focusing on sex?” It’s frustrating to see writers come up with such nonsense. Although shows like “Dexter” were entertaining, it baffles me why they had to make the main character asexual. Thankfully, there are some examples of better representation, like Bojack and Entrapta from She-Ra.

However, it’s worth noting that these are animated characters, and it’s disconcerting that cartoons often get representation right more often than live-action shows. Even the portrayal of characters with disabilities is often more accurate and respectful in animated works.

Media plays a significant role in influencing the minds of each generation. Therefore, it becomes crucial to address the issue of misrepresentation and strive for an accurate portrayal of individuals from the LGBTQ+ community, as well as other communities. Unfortunately, many people behind media productions prioritize monetary gain, viewership, and marketability over genuine representation. This is precisely why I find solace in writing my own stories, where I have the freedom to craft characters that resonate with my own desires as a reader.

[asm5129]

I didn’t realize gem society became a democracy by the time of the movie I fully missed that detail lol. I assume the diamonds where still god emperor’s they where just nicer now. Which again I can see why some people would find that a little upsetting? Because again we read it less as an allegory for a queer-phobic family and viewed it solely from the angle of a genocidal dictator that was still actively committing said genocide.

Maybe Steven wasn’t gonna kill them but maybe they expected something more like what happened to ozai on avatar. Where they’re still left powerless and defeated.

I know this isn’t Ben 10 so Steven isn’t gonna send them to the null void or whatever but still

technically the democracy was only shown to be in place during SU Future. We briefly saw an election being discussed.

[elonasblog]

Feb 9 Horoscope

Individuals born on February 9th fall under the zodiac sign of Aquarius. Let's explore their personality traits, compatibility, love life, career tendencies, financial habits, and health considerations:

Personality Traits:

Intellectual: Aquarians born on Feb 9 Horoscope tend to have a curious and analytical mind. They enjoy exploring new ideas, concepts, and theories. Independent: These individuals value their freedom and independence. They often prefer to follow their own path rather than conforming to societal norms. Humanitarian: February 9th Aquarians have a strong sense of social justice and a desire to make the world a better place. They may be passionate about humanitarian causes and strive for equality and fairness. Unconventional: They are often attracted to the unconventional and may have unique interests or hobbies. They are not afraid to think outside the box and challenge traditional beliefs. Friendly: Despite their independent nature, Aquarians born on February 9th are usually friendly and sociable. They enjoy connecting with others and may have a diverse circle of friends from various backgrounds. Idealistic: People born on this date may have idealistic visions for the future and may be optimistic about their ability to bring about positive change in the world. Compatibility:

Best Matches: Aquarians born on February 9th may find compatible partners with other air signs like Gemini and Libra, who share their intellectual curiosity and love for freedom. Challenges: They may face challenges in relationships with more emotionally intense signs like Scorpio or possessive signs like Taurus, as they value their independence and may resist being tied down. Love Life:

Intellectual Connection: Aquarians born on February 9th value mental stimulation and may seek partners who can engage them in deep, meaningful conversations. Independence: They need a partner who respects their need for independence and freedom. Clinginess or possessiveness can be a turn-off for them. Commitment: While they may be commitment-phobic at times, they can form deep and meaningful connections with partners who share their values and interests. Career:

Innovative Fields: Aquarians born on February 9th thrive in careers that allow them to express their creativity and innovative ideas. They may excel in fields like technology, science, humanitarian work, or social activism. Team Players: They work well in group settings and may contribute valuable insights and ideas to team projects. Freedom: They prefer careers that offer flexibility and independence, allowing them to pursue their interests and passions on their terms. Money Habits:

Unconventional Spending: February 9th Aquarians may have unconventional spending habits and may prioritize investing in experiences or causes rather than material possessions. Financial Independence: They value financial independence and may seek out opportunities to generate passive income or pursue entrepreneurial ventures. Socially Conscious: They may be mindful of how their financial decisions impact society and may support ethical and sustainable businesses. Health:

Mental Stimulation: Mental well-being is crucial for February 9th Aquarians. Engaging in intellectually stimulating activities and hobbies can help keep their minds sharp and focused. Physical Exercise: Regular physical activity is essential for maintaining overall health and vitality. They may enjoy activities that provide a sense of freedom and independence, such as outdoor sports or yoga. Stress Management: Aquarians born on February 9th may benefit from practicing relaxation techniques such as meditation or mindfulness to manage stress and maintain emotional balance. Overall, individuals born on February 9th are intellectual, independent, and humanitarian. They value freedom, innovation, and social justice, and seek meaningful connections in both their personal and professional lives.

[grrrstop]

descubrí que tengo a Urano en el IC

"Wanting to live where you can be comfortable with your eccentricities. Wanting to live where your oddball behavior fits right in. Feeling that you don’t fit in, no matter where you are. Living in places where people suddenly arrive and then abruptly leave. Your home is a utopia. You welcome freaks, geeks and the fringe of society into your inner sanctum. Outsider. Black sheep of the family. Outlaw. Not fitting in with your family. Being separated or deliberately separating from the rest of your family, their homes and traditions. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Commitment-phobic. For whatever reason, you do not ‘match’ the other people in your family – you are not like them. Feeling from within that you are different. Wondering if you were adopted. Thinking, “Where are my real parents?” One of your parents also might be an outcast in the family or be unlike the rest of their family. Feeling disconnected from traditions and from ‘normal’ family structures. Your parents’ eccentric behavior can interfere with your career goals, reputation and social standing. Chaos in your private life directly affects your career. Wanting to break free from limiting family expectations and conditioned behavior. Feeling inwardly detached. Feelings like an alien inside. Wondering if you are from another time, place, planet or dimension.A rebel within. Having a deep inner need not to be tied down. Clinging to your inner rebellious self prevents you from making progress in your career. Feeling that you are an outcast or outsider can prevent you from achieving as much as you’d like or receiving the recognition you think you deserve. A lifelong rebellion against your parents. Liking to live in an unconventional family environment. Inner restlessness may prevent you from reaching your career goals. At some point you could get accused of creating distance among family members. Estrangement from your relatives. Ostracized by your relatives, your clan or your tribe. Disowned. Inner rebellious tendencies may keep you bound to familiar people and places whom you know will accept you as you are. A deep emotional attachment to the strange and unusual. Willfulness bubbling up from the inside. Having grown up in an unstable household. Having moved a lot throughout your life. The fact that you can’t sit still or stay in one place for long hinders your ability to fulfill your goals and reach your potential. Having a rocky foundation. Your parents were unpredictable, high strung and erratic. Your parents were rebellious and eccentric. Your parents might have had a kind of genius. One of your parents was emotionally, physically or psychologically removed from the rest of the family. One of your parents may have yearned to be free of home and family obligations. One of your parents may have left the family abruptly. Having an unusual perspective on what a ‘normal’ family should be – how they look, how they’re related, where they come from, etc… Your parents nurtured free-thinking and independence in you. You parents were emotionally supportive in unconventional ways. You grew up outside normal society. Your home life may not have been traditional, but that doesn’t mean it was bad. You have sudden memories of things that happened when you were a child. You have sudden insight into your ancestry. Your lineage is strange and unusual, and has abrupt stops and starts. You feel most comfortable when you know that you can pick up and leave at any time. Your inventiveness can help your career. Your comfort level with unusual people and situations can help your career. Your non-attachment to place can help your career.

Having an inner scientist. At home with technology. At home with astrology.  Feeling most comfortable living off the beaten track. Feeling most comfortable living off the grid. At home with people and places that aren’t ‘normal’. Unwillingness to put your inner nerd or weirdo on display for the rest of the world. Only revealing your inner inventor and genius to the people closest to you, generally in the privacy of your own home. Making your home a sanctuary for the strange and unusual. Making your home a meeting ground for progressives and liberals. Making your home a meeting place for inventive, scientific people. Feeling that you are part of a generation of people that doesn’t fit in."

soy

[thekatebridgerton]

I hope that when Eloise meets Sophie, our dear takes-no-bs Ladies Maid has a very sincere conversation with Eloise where she tells her that she's not fooling anybody.

Because she's obviously using the Lady Whistledown witch hunt and her whole radical feminism bs to run away from the very real responsibility she has of finding a good husband and leaving her mark in society as the Viscount sister that she is.

Someone has to tell Eloise that everyone can see through whatever reasoning she's putting to her escapades. She's simply mentally running away from responsibility as she has seen Anthony, Benedict and Colin do in the best way she knows how: By making up an excuse why she 'has no time for the marriage mart'

I mean, Penelope obviously cares too much to outright say it to her face. And Kate thinks Eloise whole spiel is kinda cute. So it will probably fall to Sophie to make Eloise take a good look at herself and see she's no better than her commitment phobic brothers with her flimsy excuses. If lady Whistledown didn't exist she'd have found something else to fixate on. Just like Benedict fixated on the lady in silver to avoid facing his feelings for Sophie.

This is why so many people call Eloise feminism fake activism. Because she's not doing it to help anybody. She's using the whole 'not like other girls, let women do what men do' gimmick to escape her responsibility and duties. Which fyi as someone born into nobility, aren't that many.

Nobody is asking Eloise to conform to society expectations of her. But it would be nice if she stopped running from them away all together. Figure out how she can be a force of change with the tools she has. As she grows older

Although we know She won't completely let go of her runaway tendencies alltogether dear reader, sure she'll grow into the responsibility thing, and will eventually like the whole adulting process, make more friends in society and even grow to enjoy balls, but also, the whole running-away-to-meet-a-guy-without-thinking-of-the-scandal thing is exactly how she met Phillip Soooo yeah that one's on her.

But at least the next time Eloise uses that card she'll be honest enough to admit she's fully aware that what she's doing is for her own self interest and not some pseudo activist agenda she can preach to the masses.

And that's our tea

[regret-breathing]

Character relationship tag post??

I’ve been tagged. Mein got. Thank u @angelsofprey u nerd.

I’ve been elected to talk about a character relationship in my work in 3 bullet points. I’ve decided to pick the most complicated one to do this with because I’m.. hubristic. So here goes, Genfae Everyman and Arna [nolastname] from my unfinished novel Not-Yet-Illuminated :3

Broad strokes: Genfae (she/her) is the recently crowned Princess of her principality; she comes from no money (a broke rice farmer deep in debt to the local loan shark), but is believed to be the newest reincarnated soul of the Prince Incipient. Arna (she/her) is her attendant, and an absolute mess of a little fuckin homo who is the perpetually reincarnating iteration of the Prince Incipient’s wife. The difference between them being that Arna can remember her past lives, Genfae can’t. The two of them met when Genfae was brought to the palace for the first time, and drank together all night while Genfae complained about her very fucked up situation. Icons. After like four days, Arna and Genfae began sleeping together, months after that they admitted they were in a relationship, months after that Arna confessed her strange secret and long past. Yknow. Standard lesbianing. Genfae has no idea how to deal with Arna’s whole deal and probably would’ve rather just stayed hooking up if she hadn’t caught feelings big time. Oops!

The main thing with them is loyalty. Arna is eternally loyal to the throne, or rather to the wandering soul of her first love (she’s not very healthy abt relationships good for her), and her position as the High Attendant to the Sundered Throne means she is literally sworn to carry the burden of any and all of the ruling Princet’s needs. She takes this very seriously. Especially on the rare occasion that she actually believes the living Princet is in fact her soulmate reborn. Lucky for Genfae, Arna is moooostly sure about her. Even before she believed Genfae was legit, she couldn’t help but fall for her, and would/has died for her as many times as it will take to keep her everything safe. See what I mean abt the unhealthy boundaries on this girl. Love that for her. Genfae on the other hand is a commitment phobic mess who hasn’t had a relationship last longer than the time it takes to get dressed in… ever. So they’re both great at this. Especially since Arna wants commitment in a way Genfae can’t ever really live up to. How do you tell your new girlfriend you want to take things slow when she believes fully that you’re her late husband reborn who she’s been searching for for literally thousands of years. Genfae doesn’t even know how to ask someone out under normal circumstances.

THAT SAID. they’re very sweet imo and would do anything for each other. Including start a war with a secret organization with a hard on for killing kings. (Choice sweet moments as proof: Arna taught Genfae to read since she never learned, common folk type shit. Genfae really helped Arna get out of her well put up cocoon and likes to trick her into having fun. Genfae likes dragging Arna with her on little outings, most notably to enjoy an alchemical bath meant to symbolize the touch of death in Genfae’s culture, fitting considering both of their whole vibe. The two of them like to have little secret lunches together when they can since their relationship isn’t strictly allowed, and while they both suck at keeping work out of things have a rule not to talk crown business at lunch so they can have time that’s just for them. Arna spent a lot of time teaching Genfae how to act around high society and it’s extremely hot to her when Genfae nails it, leading to lots of Arna quietly teasing her wife under tables at fancy dinners for the court because Arna is really hot, etc.) If they were a normal couple and if Arna wasn’t putting enough pressure on Genfae to crack a submarine open, they’d probably be unstoppable. One of the bigger stumbling blocks in their relationship is arna’s string of exes going back pretty much through every generation still living, notably the High Shine Beryl Thorpe (basically a fantasy Cardinal who’s also a vampire long story), the late Illuminated Prince Kairus Everyman (who Arna may or may not have assassinated in her previous life oops), and Senior Cabinet Councilor Hearsay [nolastname] (the leader of that secret organization oops and also Genfae’s largest opposition within the royal court. Has a bit of a jealous streak), all of whom pose a threat to— oh fuck is Arna actually Ramona Flowers?? Fuck. God dammit. Fucking hell what have I done. How did I not notice I’ve been writing them for three years god dammit.

I’ve rambled too long; but I think it counts. I might post some stuff from their story on here one day! We’ll see. Also I’m typing this on mobile so if there’s fucked up spacing that’s why and I’m not fixing it 🤙🏽

Im tagging @soupy8lowfish UwU tell me of your soups and fish.

[indyandaspresso]

Char Dev || Battery of Tests

Enneagram: The Loyalist -- Type 6.

People of this personality type essentially feel insecure, as though there is nothing quite steady enough to hold onto. At the core of the type Six personality is a kind of fear or anxiety. This anxiety has a very deep source and can manifest in a variety of different styles, making Sixes somewhat difficult to describe and to type. What all Sixes have in common however, is the fear rooted at the center of their personality, which manifests in worrying, and restless imaginings of everything that might go wrong. This tendency makes Sixes gifted at trouble shooting, but also robs the Six of much needed peace of mind and tends to deprive the personality of spontaneity. The essential anxiety at the core of the type Six fixation tends to permeate the personality with a sort of "defensive suspiciousness." Sixes don't trust easily; they are often ambivalent about others, until the person has absolutely proven herself, at which point they are likely to respond with steadfast loyalty. The loyalty of the Six is something of a two edged sword however, as Sixes are sometimes prone to stand by a friend, partner, job or cause even long after it is time to move on.

Sixes are generally looking for something or someone to believe in. This, combined with their general suspiciousness, gives rise to a complicated relationship to authority. The side of the Six which is looking for something to believe in, is often very susceptible to the temptation to turn authority over to an external source, whether it be in the form of an individual or a creed. But the Six's tendency towards distrust and suspicion works against any sort of faith in authority. Thus, two opposite pulls exist side by side in the personality of enneatype Six, and assume different proportions in different individuals, sometimes alternating within the same individual.

The truly confounding element when it comes to typing Sixes is that there are two fundamentally different strategies that Sixes adopt for dealing with fear. Some Sixes are basically phobic. Phobic Sixes are generally compliant, affiliative and cooperative. Other Sixes adopt the opposite strategy of dealing with fear, and become counterphobic, essentially taking a defiant stand against whatever they find threatening. This is the Six who takes on authority or who adopts a dare devil attitude towards physical danger. Counterphobic Sixes can be aggressive and, rather than looking for authorities, can adopt a rebellious or anti-authoritarian demeanor. Counterphobic Sixes are often unaware of the fear that motivates their actions. In fact, Sixes in general, tend to be blind to the extent of their own anxiety. Because it is the constant back drop to all of their emotions, Sixes are frequently unaware of its existence, as they have nothing with which to contrast it.

Personality DNA: Cautious Experiencer

Being independent, practical, and somewhat guarded with others is what makes you Cautious.. Your inquisitive nature, imagination, and hands-on practicality makes you an Experiencer.

Dungeons and Dragons Alignment

Lawful Good- A lawful good character acts as a good person is expected or required to act. He combines a commitment to oppose evil with the discipline to fight relentlessly. He tells the truth, keeps his word, helps those in need, and speaks out against injustice. A lawful good character hates to see the guilty go unpunished. Lawful good is the best alignment you can be because it combines honor and compassion. However, lawful good can be a dangerous alignment when it restricts freedom and criminalizes self-interest.

Keirsey

The Guardian

Guardians are the cornerstone of society, for they are the temperament given to serving and preserving our most important social institutions. Guardians have natural talent in managing goods and services--from supervision to maintenance and supply -- and they use all their skills to keep things running smoothly in their families, communities, schools, churches, hospitals, and businesses.

16 Personalities

Your personality type is Advocate INFJ-T.

Advocates’ gifts include idealism, determination, and the ability to envision a better future – but they don’t just want to hear what makes them great. Advocates are committed to actually using these gifts to become better people and serve a greater purpose in this world.

Sorting Hat Chart

Hufflepuff Primary, Ravenclaw Secondary.

Four Temperaments

Your temperament is melancholic. The melancholic temperament is fundamentally introverted and thoughtful. Melancholic people often were perceived as very (or overly) pondering and considerate, getting rather worried when they could not be on time for events. Melancholics can be highly creative in activities such as poetry and art - and can become preoccupied with the tragedy and cruelty in the world. Often they are perfectionists. They are self-reliant and independent; one negative part of being a melancholic is that they can get so involved in what they are doing they forget to think of others.

Big Five

Statistical Which Character

The best match between the self assessment you provided and the profile of a fictional character as rated by other people who have taken this survey is the character Monty Green (The 100).

DISC Assessment

In summary, DISC type S personality traits include...

Listen patiently to the needs and requests of others.

Work considerately and cooperatively with others.

Be uncomfortable around aggressive or hostile people.

Avoid overly competitive situations.

Take direction from a leader they trust.

[stvpidinlove]

[ OLIVIA HOLT, SHE/HER, CIS WOMAN ]  —  [ REGAN MORGAN ]  is a child of  [ MORPHEUS ]  with the power of  [ PRECOGNITIVE DREAMING ] .  they were born in  [ 1995 ]  and have been in nemean lion since  [ 2019 ] .  with the change, they  [ ARE TRAINING IN ]  the  [ AMBASSADOR ]  role which makes sense since they’re usually  [ SCROLLING HER CURSED TIKTOK FYP & CONFUSING HER FOLLOWERS ON TWITTER ] .  if you’d like to meet them try the  [ MOON ]  building .

tl;dr she’s a deranged menace to society

BASICS

hometown: milford, pennsylvania

eye color: brown

hair color:  blonde

height: 5′3

sexuality: bisexual

birthday: january 19, 1995 ( capricorn )

BIO

regan’s mother was never the type to settle down. before meeting morpheus, her longest relationship had been three months. so when the guy seemed commitment-phobic, that was perfect for her. until, of course, she found out she was pregnant. she didn’t want to get married but she was at an age where the idea of motherhood...didn’t repulse her. so she wanted to keep the baby, at which point the father of her child didn’t get down on one knee, he started to explain the kinds of responsibilities she’d face as the mother of his child.

having the child of a god in her womb inflated her ego, which was pretty impressive considering how big it already was. see, regan’s mother was a southern belle without any of the class or manners. she’d breezed through the pageant circuit as a teen, winning a number of titles with minimal effort. her talent was essentially crying on demand and looking pretty while doing it. knowing she’d slept with a god, like an honest to...god felt sort of fitting. like, duh, who else would she have her first child with?

this also led to a brief but intense fixation with shakespeare, who name dropped gods like it was his job, which led to her choosing the name regan from king lear.

she moved to pennsylvania with regan when her daughter was only four years old, because some guy practically begged her to let him take care of her, and she had nowhere better to go. until, eventually, she did, thanks to the world of avon. her mother started selling out of boredom but then it turned out she was good at it, so good that she could easily buy a place once she got bored of her rich boyfriend, and move out with regan.

thankfully, her mother got out of the pyramid scheme before she got in too deep. she was hired by an actual, reputable cosmetics company and given a desk job to work in sales, which she was still a natural at. because she had a full time job now, regan spent a lot of time with nannies...and that’s nannies plural because regan was one of those kids who drove her caretakers to quit on a regular basis.

but not because she was a handful. she was pretty self-sufficient, actually, and totally well-behaved, she was just kind of...weird. she’d leave her room for dinner with all of her clothes suddenly on backwards and say nothing as if it was normal and act confused when her nanny asked about it. she’d stare at the tv when it was off, she’d spend one day only speaking in whispers, she’d write vaguely threatening messages on the mirror with her mother’s red lipstick.

all of this was because regan knew it was scary to adults, which made it fun for her. she wasn’t, like, actually disturbed. well, aside from the dreams she had sometimes. she’d have a dream about a baby bird falling from a nest, she’d watch its chest move for minutes before it died, then she’d wake up the next day and find a dead bird outside the sliding glass doors to the backyard.

for a while she thought they were coincidences. then she thought she was making things happen in her sleep, and that it was her job to stop bad things from happening, to save every baby bird that asked for help in her dreams. it took her a few years to accept that just because she sometimes saw the future didn’t mean she had any power to change it. she was warned so she could prepare herself, which only made her feel more powerless.

but being regan, she chose to cope with this aspect of her life with avoidance and humor. she doesn’t want to pick and choose what she worries about and what she doesn’t, so she decided a long time ago not to take anything seriously.

for reasons unknown, regan’s mother actually decided to have another child after regan. but she was unconventional, too, hence regan being...the way she is, so she never actually married the father of regan’s half-brother, but they have been together for the past 15 years, so.

her brother is eleven years younger than she is, so in regan’s mind, a baby. whenever left with the task of babysitting him while the two were growing up, it would be regan who suggested ice cream for breakfast and sock sliding around the living room at dangerous speeds.

RANDOM FACTS

i want to v*mit saying this but.....she’s kind of like........the female version of stevesuptic. except for she’s cute <3

her entire twitch account is kind of satirical, like it’s very hard to gauge what her actual personality is. i don’t think her viewers bully her the way they bully steve bc she would bully them back LMAO but they ask her a lot of random ass super weird sometimes borderline disturbing questions and she answers them like it’s normal

she def has weird/creepy drawings whenever playing gartic phone tho /:

ig you could say her channel is like shit posting but make it a streamer. she has a really nice set up and she always looks made up in her streams but then the content is her playing like a cat dating sim for four hours

she’s actually pretty shit at most games that require any level of skill and her following comes entirely from her personality and her Brand ig, she’s just entertaining to watch bc she says and does the most ??? things. like she’s not a gamer girl and doesn’t say she is she just has a twitch and plays games for the attention

also she has a cat named muffintop (best part of the muffin, not the offensive term for a woman’s stomach, though she will say that’s what it means if someone asks) who she regularly posts memes of and like most of her twitch emotes are her cat. you can find examples on her pinterest board lmao

i think it’s pretty hard to get an actual vision out of regan? she mostly keeps those to herself and just lies about her dreams. she’ll just be like, “yeah actually i had a dream you were gonna choke on some oatmeal so stay safe out there.” she’s also only partially sure when a dream is actually about the future.

her like <3 symbol that represents her is butterflies, she has a ton of butterfly shit

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS

idk if i am requesting a roommate for once, idk if i wanna subject anyone to that

someone naive who believes her any time she says something is Going To Happen, no matter how stupid it is and no matter how many times things simply do not happen??

a bestie because...............................i just feel like she wormed her way into someone’s inner circle and they’re just stuck with her now

[mitigatedchaos]

On predicting the “right side of history,”

gene control will be the new gun control once genes can be altered

I said this, but it’s just a provocation.

The general divide between Left and Right is about external locus of control vs internal locus of control, and “oppression” being the reason that things go wrong, vs “entropy” being the reason.

As an extrapolation of the direction of general attitudes, “Capital,” “Patriarchy,” “Society,” “Colonialism,” and so on are generally considered the causes of crimes like burglary by Progressive types, rather than a decision on the part of the burglar.  A lot of the impulse is that you aren’t supposed to judge the burglar, or attempt to solve the problem by capturing and physically isolating the burglar.

On the other hand, Progressive types are quick to condemn “gun violence” or knives - a matter of something you are, vs something you have.

Right now, of course, a gene is something you can’t change (except via risky experimental medical science), so it’s generally considered something you are.  Like let’s say you have red hair - the current Progressive perspective is that you are a redhead and not that you have red hair, and they would then seek to make you into a member of an interest group on that basis.

On the other hand, people can apply dyes to their hair to give them truly exotic hair colors, beyond even the level of anime characters.

But let’s say that I have a genetic treatment that can alter your hair color - red, blonde, brunette, black.  In fact, let’s go one more and assume a rainbow of colors are available, like it’s Second Life.  (Maroon hair can be a nice choice.)

Let’s suppose you were born into a world where genetically green hair was always a choice.  Is green hair still something you are, or is it something you have?

In the (extrapolated) Progressive view, external locus of control forces like “Society” are thought to be acting through the burglar as he commits burglary, rather than the burglar acting on his own.  (Guns and knives are tools of this force working through the burglar - this is why denying them is thought to reduce crime.)  Agency is assessed in consciously supporting or opposing the vast external locus of control forces.  Rather than no condemnation, you can be condemned for being X-ist or Y-phobic, with the belief that once X-ism or Y-phobia are gone, all the other problems will more or less solve themselves.

This is where the behavior of the Progressive movement, if it gets its hands on genetic alteration technologies, becomes undefined.

Suppose you have some kind of genetically-induced Glass Leg Disease (GLD), which you have a very high risk of transmitting to any children you might have.  Under current conditions, the only option to avoid passing it down is not the have children.  Applying this limitation is deemed unacceptable, a violation of human dignity, and so on.  (Should a state even be trusted with that much power?  Imagine the typical politician in congress deciding whether you get to have children.  I think not.)

Suppose we develop near-perfect robotic legs that can replace your own legs so well that you move as well as an able-bodied person.  These are distributed to you and installed for a modest fee.  Are you still the person with Glass Leg Disease, or is your identity now “cyborg”?  If the legs are good enough, do you even think about Glass Leg Disease anymore?

Alternatively, should “has Glass Leg Disease” be considered a “culture”?  Should you be prohibited from getting the cybernetic legs because it “erases” that “culture”?

Now from the other direction.

Suppose we don’t have good-quality robotic legs, so if you have a child, that child will suffer from the full effects of Glass Leg Disease. However, we do have embryo selection, and the state has agreed to supply it for a modest fee, well within your income.

If you refuse and your child suffers as a result, is that your fault?  After all, you wouldn’t have been prevented from having children - including children that are biologically yours - by using embryo selection.

Now, this is where it really gets interesting.

What -ism is that?

We had a large burst of anti-religious and particularly anti-Christianity sentiment during the Bush Administration.

In terms of ideological formation, an “-ism” or “-phobia” of this kind could be defined within decades.  For instance, it might be “bioconservatism” to unnecessarily refuse embryo selection and thus pass on ‘dangerous’ genes.

There is likely to be substantial opposition from religious groups, who are right-wing coded, and thus the process that managed to politically polarize Ebola might decide that the two sides are “genetic engineering is a Babel-like attempt to climb to heaven, and defaces Man, who was made in the image of God; it is the work of the Devil,” allied with “fuck you the second amendment guarantees my right to have as many ‘dangerous genes’ as I want!” versus “keep interrogating your intrinsic bioconservative biases until you adopt what we believe to be the correct package of genetic alterations” combined with “gene siloing favors those born with greater biological wealth - those who seek to preserve it are supremacists and will be the first against the wall during the revolution! Commence Operation: Gene Expropriation!”

However, it’s difficult to be sure.

[youngdreamer3214]

Unexpected

Assume Standard Disclaimer

The story of Jason Todd and Raven from ‘Too Late’. I would recommend reading ‘Too Late’ first.

Summary- The most unexpected person sitting on his favorite spot in the city with the most unexpected conversation and added to that an unexpected attraction to her. Seems like life is unexpected for Jason but he wouldn't have it any other way.

0O0O0O0O0O0

Music flowed through her veins, hips moved with the rhythm like water; her mind too far gone to care about her surroundings. She moved with such ease, such grace that for a moment every eye around her was on her. Some looked at her with envy, want and admiration while one of them was burning with desire, affection and the need to possess.

They had been playing this game for too long now, she had teased him enough. It was finally time to take action, to finally get the prize, her.

Their game of cat and mouse had been going on for almost three months now, he grinned remembering their chance meeting, his eyes unwavering from her.

It was a full moon night when he was wandering around the city as Jason Todd not the infamous Red X enjoying the peacefulness of the city to clear his head after a stressful mark and was heading towards his favorite spot in the city, the roof of the highest building in Jump City.

The cold, harsh wind greeted him as he reached the final step and he exhaled loudly, it felt like he was releasing all the stress from his body. There was just something about heights that exhilarated him. It was almost as if he could breathe clearly as he felt the city in its purest form. That was partly the reason he loved patrolling Gotham with Bruce.

He shook his head at that last thought; that was a dangerous can of worms to open.

He took slow steps towards the edge but stopped when he saw a figure sitting with its legs dangling off the edge and scowled. He wanted to be alone, was that too much to ask for? He was so not in the mood to deal with some civilian who would probably annoy him. Scratch that it would most definitely annoy him.

He took more purposeful steps, deciding to politely or maybe rudely tell them to vacate his favorite place in the city. But as he got closer he saw the unmistakably violet hair of who he now guessed was Raven.

Great, he thought, he had to deal with a titan now. But at least it isn't dickhead. He consoled himself. Out of all the titans Raven was the only one he couldn't understand and decipher. She was different, intriguing and –

"Are you going to stand there or go away? Honestly I prefer the latter." A smoky monotone voice called out, pulling him out of his thoughts and making him deepen his scowl, right an empath, he thought.

He stubbornly sat next to her and said with a smirk evident in his voice "Thanks I don't really care about anyone's preferences." He looked at her just in time to see her rolling her eyes and smirked as she looked ahead at the amazing view choosing to ignore him and he also sat in silence for a moment before saying in a mocking but filled with cockiness voice "Don't you have a crime to stop, oh great Raven of the titans."

They were silent for a couple of moments before she smirked and said "Don't you have something to steal, Red X?"

His eyes widened as he stared at her shocked and her smirk only widened seeing his expression before looking ahead as if nothing happened. As if she had not just uncovered the identity of one of the most trouble making anti- heroes in Jump City.

"How-what-?" he sputtered and she chuckled before looking at him and saying "Oh come on, I am an empath I can sense your emotions. I knew who you were as soon as you reached the final step to this roof."

"Aren't you going to arrest me?" he asked, his posture stiff and ready to bolt if she says yes. But instead she shocked him again by looking at him with a bored expression and rolling her eyes again as if very annoyed with his question and asked in a bored tone "Are you committing a crime right now?"

"No."

"Then even I am not arresting you right now…you need to be caught while stealing something and for all I know you are just Jason Todd right now and not Red X."

Now he turned a little white, she knew who he was, who he really was. Then she must also know that he was resurrected. Has she told the bats? But he can't see any of them right now so maybe she didn't tell them. Or are they waiting for a better time to show up?

She looked at him again and said with a sigh "No need to be so worried, I haven't told the bats. That's your truth to tell not mine, and to answer your other question I am a half demon so don't you think that I would know when somebody has been resurrected through the Lazarus pits. I know the trauma of being resurrected from personal experience.

…I could feel your heightened emotions since the day you came back and I know it would take time for you to adjust again so I let it be."

He was speechless for a few minutes just staring ahead at the glittering lights of the city against the dark sky before he looked at her and said a soft "Thank you." This girl who had been called emotionless and cold by everyone was one of very few people who understood what he needed even if she had never met him before.

They sat together in comfortable silence when it was interrupted by the ping of her communicator, she took it out and whatever was on it turned her eyes glossy before she took a deep breath and tossed it as far as she could.

"Woah, what happened? Boy issues?" He laughed but then stopped when she turned to look at him. He saw her amethyst eyes welled up, showing what her face wasn't, vulnerability, hurt and sadness.

"Sorry." He said sheepishly and looked at the horizon before adding a couple of moments later "You can tell me, if you want." And when she gave him a look he raised his hands in mock surrender and added "Sometimes talking to strangers really helps and it's not like I am going to judge."

She stayed silent and looked back at the city for minutes and then said softly "I don't know why I am telling you this but here goes…I confessed my feelings and got rejected…with the very firm belief of his that it won't work out and now he is drunk and going around with fangirls of Jump City…goddess, I don't know why I am telling you this."

"Hey, it is okay I completely understand. He has always been like this, commitment phobic and anti- oh come on don't give me that look. It's obvious that the guy is boy wonder…. and hey, I know from first-hand experience that dick sometimes really justifies his name." he shrugged, anyone could see from seeing their interactions that the dark beauty had feelings for the titan leader and he didn't know why a pang coursed through him thinking about the empath and his older 'brother' together but then he heard the most wonderful sound, her laughing and he forgot all his previous dread.

He turned and took this time to fully study her. He didn't think that he ever saw her fully, clearly, either she had that hood covering her or her team had her attention.

She had beautiful amethyst eyes, her straight violet almost black hair touched her waist, her rare and precious smile made his heart skip a beat. She had a small, petite frame that even while sitting she reached his shoulder and his eyes almost bulged out of their sockets when he saw that she didn't have that cape to cover her, she was sitting in her leotard with her legs bare in this cold wind. Must be that demon heritage, he thought to himself as his eyes lingered on her bare legs, a wave of desire coursing through him but he forced his eyes away and thanked the gods above that it was dark so that she couldn't see his blush clearly.

After that chance meeting, they met on that same spot almost every night, sometimes sitting in silence and other times talking about anything and everything. She was someone he could open up to and he always felt lighter and happier after talking to her. They started hanging out together, visiting various places, having fun and just behaving like normal humans who were not burdened like they both were.

Slowly her feelings for the Boy wonder began to fade away and something new, something different, something intense began blooming for her new and unexpected companion.

And now here they were in a club together and tonight was the night, when he would make her his. He gulped his drink in a single sip and walked towards her with strong, purposeful steps, his gaze never moving away from her.

The light touches, the inside jokes, the flirting and the way his heart starts beating like he had just ran a marathon when he was near her. He felt like himself when he was around her, not like Red X, or like a Gotham street rat, or someone who was trying to fit in with the high society, but like Jason Todd, who he was in his purest form without his demons weighing him down, making him something he was not.

It was funny that a half demon empath was the one who freed him of his demons. But he wouldn't have it any other way.

He felt happy, free and like he could breathe more clearly, like oxygen was rejuvenating every cell of his body, now he was alive. And it was all because of the empath that he wanted to call his.

His eyes raked over her entire being as she moved her hips, while biting her lip. An action which drove him wild, sending shocks of desire through his entire body as she weaved a hand through her tresses and her body moved to the beat. Her eyes locked with his, inviting him, teasing him with her body.

He finally reached where she was and walked around her as she danced, examining her entire being when he suddenly pressed his front to her back, trapping her between his strong and protective arms and moved their body together with the beat.

Their hips joined and she melted into him as she rested her head on his chest and reached back to rest one of her hands around his neck and pulled his face closer to hers while the other rested on his which were holding her waist to his.

No words needed to be shared; they spoke through their eyes, their bodies as they moved together. He pressed himself close to him softly breathing in her ear as she felt the splendor that Jason Todd and what splendor it was. Both of them forgetting where they were, feeling like the only two people present in this moment, this moment which was theirs.

She could feel the warmth of his touching burning through her dress from where they were splayed on her waist almost like leaving a mark on her body, telling her that she was his. Conveying to her that he was here to claim, to put an end to the game they both were playing.

He leaned down, his breath tickling her neck as he whispered "Don't you have a crime to stop, Raven?" Reminding her of their first meeting and she smiled as she leaned further into him and replied "Don't you have something to steal, Red X?" making him wrap his arms tighter around her and started placing feather light kisses on her neck, making her head roll back as she suppressed a moan when he paid more attention to her sweet spot all the while their hips never moving.

She with sudden and swift movements spun around taking him by surprise but he was quick to regain his senses as he pulled her closer to him, pressing their entire beings together. Her flushed face from the dancing and her red bitten lips making his groan as she teasingly lifted her leg slightly, loosely wrapping it around his thigh and pulled his neck down. But with quick movements he shifted making Raven wrap her leg tighter around his upper thigh, making both of them feel everything.

He dipped down, taking her with him. Her hands wrapped around his neck with one of her legs wrapped around his. His one hand wrapped around her waist and the other supporting her neck as he further leaned down and said feeling her hot breath on his face and their chests heaved together from all this dancing.

Their noses were touching and he struggled to control himself when he saw her half hooded eyes filled with desire and affection looking at his lips and then in his sea green ones. He pulled her even closer and said with his eyes mirroring hers "Only if it's your heart Raven…nothing else interests me anymore, nothing else that I want to possess, treasure and cherish... You have bewitched me."

She smiled making his heart beat even faster and slowly leaned up to capture his lips with hers. And he lost all his senses, as white hot electricity flowed through their veins making them gain all their senses but at the same intoxicating them as both of them lost themselves in each other. He knew at that moment that he would never ever let her go.

A fire burned through them both threatening to leave nothing in its wake and they were happy to be burned. Their bodies pressed so tightly together that they more or less melted into each other not knowing where one began and where the other ended, they were one.

Fin. I hope you enjoyed reading this.

Thank you.

[ellanainthetardis]

Otp asks hayffie 13,17 19

13. Name something they would never do for the other person.

Mmmm Interesting. For Haymitch, I think it depends because pre MJ that’s a lots of thing but post MJ there’s very little he wouldn’t do for her (book!verse wise). If it’s within his reach, he will try to give it to her. I think maybe my obvious weird obsession for kids fics aside the only thing I really can’t see him doing for her no matter how much she wants it is purposefully getting her pregnant. I think it’s one thing if it happens by accident but I can’t see him agreeing to trying for a baby, ever. He would sooner let her go for her own sake if it’s really something she wants because that’s probably the one thing he can’t give. Even marriage isn’t as big a no-no as commitment phobic as he is, I don’t think he would go for it immediately but a few years down the line, that’s not a hill he would die on. 5/10 years post mj, she wants a wedding, she can probably get one. But the babies... That’s the thing he wouldn’t give. 

As for Effie, she has such a desperate need to please I can’t see her say no to much. I think... The one thing Effie wouldn’t do for him is let him die. Because there probably comes a point post mj where Haymitch’s body - and his liver - starts getting weak and there are probably treatments (that work miracles because Haymitch isn’t dying on my watch and because it’s a futuristic society with incredible technology given the arenas etc) but I’m not sure he would have the will to go for it, particularly if the treatments mean going to the Capitol for an extended period of time or if the options come from mutt technology like I hc. He might manage to convince the kids somehow that his time has come and he wants to accept that but Effie would never give up and never give in and she would never never let him go down that road without a fight. Even if it was desperate, she would want him to try and fight. So I guess... Yeah, that’s the one thing I think she wouldn’t be able to do: let him go. 

17. What senses (sights, smells, feelings, etc). remind them of each other?

For Effie: Every time she smells liquor, whiskey particularly, she is reminded of him - which is damn inconvenient given the number of parties she attends every week. Blueberry muffins too, because that’s Haymitch’s favorite pastry and it also happens to be her so that works out. Tugs on her hair because he loves doing that and she might or might not tugs on her own hair with her eyes closed sometimes and pretend it’s him doing it. 

For Haymitch: lavender because that’s what she always smells like when you strip her of the very expensive perfume that changes every year. That’s her favorite bath salts and he never purposefully buys lavender scented stuff in Twelve during winter - never where did you get the idea? The glint of the sun on metal because she’s always wearing jewelry and she always shines like a disco ball and he will mock her but he actually love it and every time he sees something shiny he thinks about her. Anything soft to the touch has a good chance of reminded him of her skin too because she’s always so damn soft under his calloused hands. 

19. If they could each write a single line in their marriage vows, what would they be?

That’s hard. I wrote a lot of toastings but it’s always difficult to write vows because Haymitch isn’t the most articulate XD I guess... One line... Mmm... Let’s imagine it’s way post Mj and he’s over the emotional constipation a little. 

Haymitch: “You’re always on my side, by my side, and I wouldn’t have it any other way ‘cause you’re my whole fucking world...” 

Effie (after probably berating him for his language) “You are infuriating, impossible on a good day and you delight in making me furious but... you are also the love of my life.” 

The list is here and My ask box is here! 

[extasiswings]

Nonnie again Lol. Can we talk about adding Eddie's sexuality into this mix? The complexities of his identity, including his complicated relationship with himself? And I don't mean the lazy trope of "latin cultures are macho and homophobic." I am queer. EVERY culture is homophobic, just in different ways. Poor Eddie was deprived of a lot, emotionally, including permission and the tools to feel his actual feelings. What on earth is he supposed to do with the enormity of Buck's feelings for him?

PHEW! YES WE CAN! I’ll be honest, when I’m writing Eddie, I don’t even think about homophobia because: 1) as you say, all cultures are homophobic; 2) I’m also queer and don’t feel like writing about it when I don’t see it as being particularly relevant here; and 3) to be perfectly honest there are a million other more interesting things to talk about that are relevant.  (This got long and rambly so I’ll throw a cut in here)

I’ve touched on this vaguely in fic, but yes, Eddie’s background is hugely important to how he forms and reacts in relationships.  It is clear from the snippets that we know about his childhood that his father was physically and emotionally distant and there’s no evidence Eddie ever learned how to express himself in really healthy ways.  He’s great with Christopher now, but it’s clear he really worked at that, and I would guess probably did something along the lines of considering how he was raised and committing to doing the exact opposite with his own kid.  But with other people, other relationships, both platonic and romantic, we see him holding back, being reserved, struggling to open up, to connect, to be vulnerable.  At times he struggles to even identify what he’s feeling, let alone have any real discussion about his feelings.  In terms of sexuality, I think it’s very possible that struggle could extend to a difficulty recognizing attraction to men as attraction, recognizing which feelings are romantic and which aren’t.  Being attracted to multiple genders is in itself a difficult and complicated thing because U.S. society is phobic toward the plethora of various polysexual identities.  I know so many bi/pan/queer folx, including myself who spent years brushing off attraction to people of the same gender because we also felt attraction to people of different genders.  I don’t see why Eddie’s experience would be any different.

I may be driving this Buddie clown car, but I am entirely convinced that Eddie doesn’t have a clue how he really feels about Buck right now.  And, yeah, he might not even realize that he’s not straight.  And even if he does realize all of those things, should they manage to get together, Eddie would still likely struggle to articulate his feelings explicitly verbally.  In a way, that ties into what I touched on in the original meta about cultural constructions of masculinity exacerbating difficulties acknowledging and discussing emotions, but it’s even more than that too.  Eddie blames himself for things easily.  He carries a lot of guilt, a lot of self-loathing (wheee, that cultural Catholicism will do a number on you), and then on the flipside, clearly has a lot of baggage about being good enough and part of his difficulty with forming connections, for me, reads as a fear that they will leave.  

Shannon left. Twice.  And you hear the struggle in Eddie’s conversation with Bobby—the rawness of  (paraphrasing) “I did everything I could think of and it still wasn’t good enough.”  Buck left.  (The lawsuit arc is nonsense and so inaccurate that it makes me want to spit nails because there is no reason why there should have been a lawsuit to begin with and even if there was it wouldn’t have precluded Buck from talking to his friends, but since that’s what the writers decided FINE, that’s what we’re going with I GUESS).   And it was probably easier for Eddie to move past that because unlike with Shannon, Buck’s reasons weren’t about him, but that kind of logic and rationality doesn’t help the emotional sting in the middle of the night when you’re thinking about how everyone you’ve gotten close to has walked away.  I look at Eddie and I see someone who is so afraid of being left again that he would rather just not risk anything as a coping mechanism, and it’s going to take some serious work to unlearn that.  (This kind of thing is, relatedly, why I can’t relate to easy love/feelings confessions in fics).

(Side note: what’s interesting to me is that I view Buck and Eddie as having the same or very similar issues with this, but where Eddie withdraws, Buck takes the opposite approach of feeling everything very loudly and trying to shape himself into whatever everyone around him needs the most regardless of whether that’s good for him in order to be loved/validated/accepted)

And then, you have Eddie’s war trauma and PTSD which are bound to create their own barriers to opening up to people and come with their own layers of shame and guilt and messy, complicated feelings that would have been hard to talk about even if Eddie had otherwise been perfectly good at talking about his feelings which, as noted, he is not.  

All this to say, I actually think that in canon, Eddie does need to date someone new and work on being able to connect with the rest of the 118 and get better at relationships.  He needs to learn how to get in better touch with himself and his own emotions in general.  And if he doesn’t already know, he may very well need to do those things to even realize he’s not straight.  Our boy is a mess.  I love him.