#conker: WELP

[edwardallenpoe]

another bagginshield story idea because the writers block is still kicking my ass but I need to write it down.

What if Bilbo lies about his and Thorin's relationship and tells whoever asks that they're partners. HERE ME OUT! I know this sounds shitty BUT

What if he does it so that people can leave him alone. Or to get discounts/tax benefits (however taxes work in Middle Earth/The Shire). What if he uses his Scary Boyfriend Privileges. What if people already assumed they were together and he was too exchausted with Everything to correct anybody and at some point after wearing the mithril armor everyday and having braids Thorin put in and doing traditionay hobbity and Dwarvish courting customs he's says "fuck it we practically are at this point" lmao. Like they share food and spar together and both of them have continually refused marriage proposals and Bilbo's like "well if he doesn't know we're married then sucks to be him" about Thorin.

WAIT BETTER IDEA HIT WHILE I WAS WRITING THIS

BOTH of these cringefail losers lie. :00 Imagine: after months of living in Erebor and doing traditionally Dwarvish courting customs and Bilbo keeps being badgered about it he lies and tells people he's courting Thorin. And also uses this as a way to keep potential suitors from marrying Thorin. He's intercepting letters from suitors and being like "oh whoops sorry news must travel slow to Ered Luin but Thorin is already engaged:(( yep I know. Welp. Good day."

Then. For some reason both he and Thorin travel back to The Shire right. They're staying there for a month or two. rumors obviously start about why and where Bilbo had left. And while they're there they do traditionally hobbity courting customs and so nosy cousin's and neighbirs start badgering Thorin about their relationship and their adventure and Thorin's just like "yeah we got married back in Erebor. Yep right after he slayed a dragon. Yeah he was too cool to not marry. Yep."

And so someone like random like Drogo Gamgee or smt mentions what Thorin's been talking about to Bilbo and a dwarf from Ered Luin sends Thorin a raven and they both find out what the other was saying behind each other's backs and make out so hard Mordor explodes. Or something.

Idk it is like. 5:30 am rn. I had maybe an hour of sleep before I woke up in a cold sweat to write this down and read @/conkers-thecosy fanfics. You're welcome.

Edit: chapter one of Dragonfly is now here :>

[theknucklehead]

Finally! After all these years, Banjo-Tooie has returned to Nintendo!

And we will be in for a real treat if this is the updated version from XBOX.

Welp I guess it's time to purchase the online expansion now.

And hopefully it won't be longer until we get Donkey Kong 64, and I'm still praying we also get Diddy Kong Racing & Conker's Bad Fur Day.

[ask-conker-and-honker]

conker: uh.......your welcome??

[blazestarninja13]

Hamanda Week [Day 6: Au (Game store/College AU)]

@hamanda-week

This one is the longest of the bunch! 

Both Amanda and Hannah are 19 in this one and are also attending Luna Nova University. 

Also special thanks to @amanda-oneill for helping me come up with ideas for this one!

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25257931/chapters/61536790

It was early April, stores all around the town of Blytonbury were putting up decorations for the Easter season. Over the next few weeks, customers would be rushing into the town’s many stores to pick up Easter gifts. 

 One of these establishments was The Game Shack, a small video game store located on Woodward st that had been operating for well over ten years. 

 Around the corner from the store was Hannah England, a student of Luna Nova University (also known as LNU) and an employee of The Game Shack.

 Hannah had been running late for her shift that had started ten minutes ago. The only reason why she was running late was because she had slept in after a long night of studying and had also forgotten that she worked on weekends.

  She was dashing down the street in the rain with her store uniform under her hoodie. She was in such a rush that she didn’t even know who she was working with tonight, though it would be a surprise since she hadn’t met every single staff member yet and she had only been working at the store for around a month.

 As soon as she found herself outside of the store, she took her hoodie off, revealing her employee uniform. She walked in and immediately started warming up.

 However, Hannah saw something strange. There was someone sitting on an office chair behind the counter reading some sort of gaming magazine with their feet up on the front desk. 

 She couldn’t tell who the mystery reader was since the magazine was right in front of their face.

 She decided that this was no way for someone to act and surely wasn’t one of the store’s hard-working team members. So she had no choice but to tell them off.

 “Excuse me but you shouldn’t be here and don’t you know that it’s rude to put your feet up on desks?” 

 The magazine reader groaned a little before putting the magazine down and standing up from the chair to reveal herself. A tall, well-built redhead with dazzling emerald green eyes.

 At the sight of her face, Hannah was in complete shock. It was the last person that she thought she would be working with today or at all. It was someone she knew but wasn’t exactly friends with. It was the person she’d be working with for every day of the weekend over the next month due to a lack of staff.

 “Amanda O’Neill?! You work here?!” she cried out as her co-worker gave a cocky grin and laughed.

 “Yep. Didn’t wanna ruin the surprise for you and damn, was it worth keeping it a secret because you should’ve seen your face!” 

 Amanda O’Neill was another student of Luna Nova University that Hannah was all too familiar with. Not only was her good friend, Diana, dating Atsuko Kagari who was great friends with Amanda but as well she was known as the best person on LNU’s well-known fencing team, winning several awards for the university. 

 Though she was annoyed by her presence, Hannah thought that Amanda actually looked good in the store’s tacky looking bright red uniforms, which was rare since no one seemed to be able to pull off even looking half-good in the stupid shirts.

 “I didn’t even know you were into gaming whatsoever considering how you seem to be always flaunting your fencing wins when you’re not slacking off.”

 Amanda rolled her eyes and chuckled as her shit-eating grin stuck to her face.

 “England, first of all, I am an absolute gaming expert, and second of all, why wouldn’t I want to be proud of my wins?”

 Hannah sighed, this was not going to be an easy month of work.

  “You better not make this hard for me O’Neill.” She replied, ignoring Amanda’s response to her previous question.”

 “Eh, to be honest with you, I think this’ll be quite easy,” Amanda said with her signature toothy grin on her face while doing her signature finger guns.

 And so began a long day of work for Hannah and an apparently easy day of work for Amanda.

 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Though the store had opened around half an hour ago, no customers had come in yet. So, in the meanwhile, Hannah decided to talk to Amanda but only because she had already done every other task and chore that needed to be done as of then. 

 Amanda was still flipping through her gaming magazine which seemed to be an issue on the best retro gaming consoles of all time. 

 Hannah was interested, she had grown up playing many of her dad’s older consoles that he brought back from his business trips since he was an avid gamer himself. That was why Hannah was working here, because of her somewhat secret interest in gaming that only a few people, including Amanda, knew about.

 “So, what is your favourite retro console?” Hannah asked, genuinely curious as to what the redhead would respond with.

 Amanda looked up from her magazine and smiled. 

 “PS1, no doubt about it.” 

 Hannah decided to try to pick Amanda’s so-called ‘expert’ gaming brain.

 “And why would that be?” 

 Amanda knew exactly what England was thinking and trying to do. Doubt her gaming expertise and try to pick her brain. Many people had done this before and were surprised to see the star fencer blurt out many facts and other bits of information about many different consoles.

 “Because of all the amazing games in its massive library, duh”

 Hannah still wasn’t convinced by Amanda’s ‘expertise’. 

 “Well, I wanna know why you think it’s better than the N64 even though I admittedly love the PS1 a lot as well”. Hannah grinned. “I too, know many things about gaming”

 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 After a lengthy and surprisingly intelligent conversation, Both girls had surprised each other thanks to all of their useless facts and opinions about various consoles. In the end, they both agreed that Resident Evil, Tomb Raider, and Metal Gear Solid were the best PS1 games. However, Amanda wouldn’t give up on her opinion that Conker’s Bad Fur Day was the best N64 game despite Hannah’s protests of saying it was obviously Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

 Suddenly, a customer had finally come in.

 A short and chubby, 30-something looking man with a long beard, glasses, and balding hair strolled into the store. He took a few glances around and then squinted his eyes at Amanda and Hannah as he approached them.

Hannah looked at Amanda, who was swinging around in the office chair in boredom. 

 I guess I’ll have to take this one. Hannah thought to herself as she greeted the custom with the usual “Hi, how can help you”. 

 The man had an annoyed look on his face. 

 “Uh is there someone I could talk to that has a little bit more gaming knowledge?” 

 This question caught Amanda’s attention. She had knowledge of these types of gamers and what they did. 

 If he said anything more like that to Hannah, Amanda would come up and kick his ass.

 “Um, why?” Hannah responded, offended by the fact that this man thought that she knew nothing about gaming. 

 “Because I want to talk to someone who actually knows something about video games instead of people of your kind,” he said snootily.

 Hannah had no time to even respond because Amanda had already gotten up from her chair with anger in her piercing green eyes and was standing right in front of the man, in an extremely intimidating fashion.

 “Listen up, bucko…” She started with a low growl.

 “Just because we’re women doesn’t mean we have any less gaming intel than you if anything, we probably have more so if that’s how you’re gonna think, leave and don’t ever talk to her like that ever again if you do come back! Understood?” Amanda said with pure anger in her voice. 

 She was not going to let anybody come in and treat either of them in that way.

 The man simply gulped and backed out of the store in terror. 

 Hannah was in extreme awe. Seeing Amanda protect her was something she never expected in a million years but also made her blush a little for some odd reason.

 Amanda took several deep breaths to calm herself down. She was glad that she was able to protect Hannah even though the two of them weren’t really friends.

 “Amanda that was… amazing…” Hannah managed to utter out as the redhead turned back to her with a smile on her face.

 “Thanks, I guess.” Amanda awkwardly scratched the back of her neck. “Are you ok?” 

 Hannah smiled but was confused on the inside. Why did Amanda O’Neill of all people want to step up and protect her? 

 “I’m fine but seriously, how did you do that?” she curiously asked.

 Amanda flashed a proud grin. 

 “I simply just don’t take shit from sexist assholes like that. They mess with me or my friends and they won’t like what they get.”

 Hannah was even more confused. Was Amanda referring to her as a friend?

 “You see me as a friend?” she asked 

 “I guess so” 

 They both smiled. Though they may not have been too familiar with each other, they both had a feeling that this usually long and hard month was going to be more bearable with each other. 

 Hannah didn’t know why Amanda suddenly wanted to protect her but damn, did she want to learn how to intimidate like that. 

 Amanda, on the other hand, was amazed by the myriad of knowledge of gaming history she had. Though she may have done heaps of research through magazines and websites, Amanda didn’t know all too much about consoles that were reasonably obscure whereas Hannah knew all about them since her father was always bringing them home to her as a kid. She had no idea why she suddenly had the urge to protect Hannah but all she knew was that she felt like it was her duty to do so. Surely there was a good reason behind why she felt like that.

 “Welp, I guess we’re gonna be stuck together for the next month” Amanda gave a mischief filled smile.

 This could either be the best or the worst month of my life. Hannah mused to herself as sighed.

 Amanda just kept grinning, she didn’t know why she wanted to protect Hannah like that but it felt nice knowing that she was safe.

 “Please don’t make me regret this, O’Neill,” Hannah rolled her eyes up.

 The two of them didn’t know why they suddenly felt fine in each other’s company but maybe, just maybe, there was something more going on...

[smol-chugi]

A LITTLE LATE, BUT IT'S HERE. This is a gift that I made for my friend @conkercat21 Welp today is his birthday, so I decided to drew a one character of her called Clavis <3 Actually I drew her the past year too, but Clavis had another design so... It's not the same thing (? I don't know if Conker's going to see this here or in DeviantArt, but despite of that I hope you like it! :D

[bl00dalchemist]

so, i was cleaning my closet and i found my old Nintendo 64 and... welp, guess wich game was on it...

the good ol’ Conker