#convo : helena & klaus

[helenadobrasil]

There she stood on the landing looking for refuge in the glimmering crowd of beautiful gems. Today should run smoothly. It marked a new for the Giovanni, a person she believed would make a difference; but that didn't always come without a price. No amount of glam could erase the nature of their torture on that island but she refused to be crestfallen dressed so beautifully. Finally, her eyes met the man she was looking for, the comfort he brought was immediate.

"You look like someone I know but I don't think we've met," she bowed her head politely. @niklausses

[helenadobrasil]

“Hmph.” A sound of stubborn acceptance. Klaus supposed he’d take it, with some sort of supervision was better than without. But still, was it too fast? Was this what her physical therapist would want? It’s not like he could be there enough to be sure. So he’d have to take her word for it, he’d have to trust. He didn’t have to like it, though. It wasn’t enough to change anything, not that he really could, but it was enough to boil up in his chest every time he saw Helena. This overwhelming want to protect her, even if it was from something small like walking on a treadmill. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t do it on the island, he couldn’t do it when he was in Basel, and he wasn’t even sure he could do it when he was here, in person. “Just be careful, okay?” It was advice he’d never been great at following himself, but Helena didn’t know the full extent of it, so maybe it would be heard more earnestly, as he meant it to be. “If I start holding you, I don’t think I’m going to let go,” Klaus said, his tone flirty, though he did wonder how true it would be. He couldn’t imagine not wanting to spend as much time as possible intertwined. Not when he had so little of it left. Though, he supposed, it might get in the way of a picnic, if he couldn’t use his arms. The first few blindfolded steps, he’d felt relatively comfortable in his navigation, but the further they got, the worse his orientation got it, and the more uneven his steps got, swaying in his lack of direction. “Sensitive paws? Is he getting allergies?” Or something else that Klaus just hadn’t been around enough to know? What else had he missed? Had been forgotten or simply fallen through the cracks between the bubbles of their text conversations? “Don’t let me walk on the blanket”

Helena, in her own distorted view of the world, knew that to appear normal and careful would be enough to ease his mind. She banked on being able to leverage the weight from his shoulders with some sticky sweet scheme or false display of stability. Her foot hurt but not nearly as much as her heart did seeing him leave. If she could pour all of her emotions into making memories with him, it would make the inevitable goodbye sting a little less. Foolishly, it never did take the bite of his absence away. “I will and so will you, right?” Helena’s concern curled into some one liner or quip. She refused to dampen the time they shared but she couldn’t help the building protest in his participation in this war. Shaking off the festering anguish, she leaned happily into the warmth of his presence in such a beautiful place. They could still be locked in the tundra that was Regina or rotting on some island in Italy. Helena smiled fondly at the time they were afforded because tomorrow was never guaranteed. “Then don’t let go. I think I’d look pretty cute in army fatigues, don’t you think? We can fused at the hip and no one would know the wiser.” Helena hung tight to him to help stabilize his gait. Note to self, no more blindfolds and long distances. “I think it might be the treats. I wanted to talk to you about this when you came. I’ve narrowed potential allergens to salmon and chicken.” Finally, in the lavishly laid pergola draped in wilding flowers and an elevated wicker daybed dressed with the finest treats. their fleet of canines with a color coordinated bandanas, and champagne chilling beside it. 

“You can take off your blindfold now.” 

[helenadobrasil]

Her fingers itched to trace the unfettered joy that wove in and out of his expression. She had missed the way his smile used to reach his eyes. The long lasting side effect of his participation in this war had been his levity. Each time they met, she noticed how the stress siphoned off the innocent joys that used to live peacefully in the grand spaces of his soul. No matter how she'd applied pressure on the wounds, they continued to bleed beneath each nimble set of fingers. She had to endure this part in order to patch it all back together like a silver thread meant to mend the tapestry of his mind. "Good because so do I. Every time I look at you, it's the first time, and my heart grows a little bigger." Helena cooed. "I think she went into the coat room, if you want to follow me, I bet we can find her." The teasing nature tucked away the sloppy corners of her concern. The only thing that mattered in this moment was now.

Curious fingers reaching out to fuss and fiddle with the top button of his shirt; a projected nervous habit. "I know," her words hushed. It was all she could muster in light of his reassurance. This conflict seemed unending and climbed to dangerous heights with each passing day. Helena foolishly allowed him to go without a fight. Maybe if she threw a tantrum or begged, he would stopped leaving. It was a selfish thought but she just wanted him to stay with her even when he was gone. "Oh no, I think your love sickness has progressed to stage four." Helena brazenly stepped farther into his orbit, a clear breech in the "appropriate" distance outlined for people of their status. Her free hand smoothed down the lapel of his jacket before pushing the buttons from the eyelets to allow the stiff material to part. She ran her hand along the sculpted curve of his side before snaking it around his waist. Her cheek pressed into his chest to listen to his heart. "We may have to make a quick exit to assess the damage, what do you think?"

Klaus pretended to wince, sucking air against his teeth as he pulled his bottom lip lower. "Maybe a little. Actually," Klaus said, a shit-eating grin spreading on his face, and a mischievous twinkle in his eye. It was a rarer facial expression, these days. Whether out of duty or from his own thoughts, it wasn't often anyone had seen the man being so cavalierly self-amused these days."Can you tell me where you twin went?" He feigned stepping aside to leave for only a half-step before giving up on his little charade, settling into Helena's presence.

"Just a little longer, alright?" His thumb rubbed lightly against the back of her hand. This wasn't what he really wanted. None of this was. He didn't want to be separated for months at a time, he didn't want to be doing all of this for show, for fear, of the permanency of his position. But it was beyond him, at this point. He just needed to get through....this and he could get onto his normal life, whatever normal would look like on the other side. Hopefully Helena would still be there waiting, but he could never be too certain about anything these days. "Oh no, did you feel that? I think I felt a murmur." Klaus said, putting his free hand to his chest.

[helenadobrasil]

The rosy rouse warmed the apples of her cheeks; at this rate, she felt his affect on her would hold permanence on her perfectly even complexion. Helena once believed that all of the hype around love had been just that, an over inflated idea that was endorsed by businessmen to sell fantasies. Yet, she found herself perpetually cycled through varying emotions ranging from sickeningly smitten to overwhelmingly concerned about his every move. No matter how many times he smiled that special smile her way or the way his dimple sunk gluttonously into his cheek after a salacious quip, her heart fluttered. "If that's the case, you wouldn't be type to believe in love at first sight?" Helena's head tilted softly to the side to bask in the glow of his smile. "..because I've fallen in love you." The last drifting sentiment that rang off her tongue held most truth in it than jest.

"We can do whatever you feel is right," and within your level of comfort. She couldn't begin herself to weigh down the lightness that colored their words with her concerns about his sleeping patterns. She was sure that there wasn't many nights where he rested comfortably in Bern. When he did return to the program, he made it his mission to fill up every inch of his schedule to retain some sliver of normalcy. Helena worried that he'd run himself ragged at his rate but she'd whisper these concerns into skin once she'd gotten the chance, our of the view of the onlookers of course. Helena would have left already had it not been out of respect to Giovanni. A soft laugh escaped her parted lips at the way he had stood a little straighter, his chest puffed with confidence. Her touch starved fingers curled around his at his collar, a foolish attempt to keep them both anchored in this tiny pocket of time reserved for them. "Well if you feel your heart is about to give out, tell me and I'll give you mouth to mouth." Helena tipped her head down to shake out the thought of him leaving from her mind. "Tomorrow will be tomorrow's problem. I've got too many plans for today to keep your mind occupied."

"I knew it. There's no way just one woman could be running through my mind all night." Klaus responded, a small, dumb little smile on is face. He knew it was corny. It was the kind of thing he'd tease his brothers about if he heard them say it. But none of them were here to hear him say it. And Helena was. It sounded almost like a line out of a rom-com or something. Which made it all the more perfect for the beautiful stranger in front of him.

"We don't have to stay all night." Klaus reassured, his tone quieter, not wanting to be overheard. "People will understand if I take my leave earlier." How could he not be tired with everything going on, after all? Of course, he wasn't about to abuse that assumption. He was still going to stay long enough. Certainly longer than those who didn't want to be here. There wasn't a plan, necessarily. He'd feel it out. But as long as he left a good enough impression on the Italians. Enough that they wouldn't need to defend another border anytime soon. Klaus puffed his chest out a little more as her fingers met his collar and he reached his hand up to lightly touch hers. "And you, you look more and more beautiful every day. I don't know how I'm going to make it tomorrow."

[helenadobrasil]

In this light, the dust that collected on his shoulders from the massive weights of this conflict seemed to glow brighter. Helena shook off the urge to brush off his shoulders to rid him of the shadows of a decision that had been made all too lightly. She made sure to keep her comments to herself; the ideal of alienating herself over the overprotective streak that cut through her soul seemed like a worse death. Instead, she protected his peace in her own ways.

"You just missed her," she motioned behind her with a soft click of her tongue. "I bet you would have loved to meet her but I guess it's my lucky night." Helena peered around, a precaution sowed into the social fabric of these kinds of events, physical affection between the unwed would surely furl a lip of the few practicing catholics in the room. Thankfully, she didn't care too much because her skin craved the feeling of his. "I want to be anywhere but here when you look this handsome..which is always." She reached out to touch his collar; it was a clumsy attempt at subtlety.

Klaus had come looking for Helena. He'd done his best to be on his best behavior, to try to behave like his mom or Sylvie or Heinrich would. He'd had enough of fighting one neighbor, he wouldn't risk another. For some reason, the impulse to say something stupid or get a rise out of someone else wasn't as strong these days. It felt weighed down, dragged down, by the images he'd grown far too familiar with these days.

"Your highness," Klaus said, bowing his head in return. A routine he'd performed probably a hundred times that day, but it was a little more special for Helena. "I could say the same, do you have a twin, by any chance?"

[helenadobrasil]

“On your treadmill?”  Klaus asked, his concern mixing with surprise in a way that probably sounded a little judgmental. And to be fair, maybe there was a touch of judgment. Going from the boot to out of the boot but walking on a treadmill seemed a lot like going from walk to the 5k, no physical therapy, if you asked him. And if you asked him, he sounded more stunned than judgmental. If he’d been sane or rational, he might have thought that ‘I’ve been gone for a while, maybe Helena is better healed than when I was last here.’ But Klaus had never been known for his sanity or rationality, so the concern remained. Klaus took the silk scarf from her hand. “I’ll still carry you, if you need me to,” he said, tying the scarf over his eyes. It was only because of his concern he didn’t make some comment about having dessert before dinner. It almost made him behave like an adult. Gross. Klaus reached out, a little more disoriented, having to wave his hand around to find her shoulder again. Technically, she could have just let him by his ass (or technically, hand in his back pocket, but whatever), but it seemed better not to be pushed along or to have a slightly better sense of orientation. “How’s he doing? Has he learned ‘shake’ yet?”

On your treadmill? Helena winced internally at the slight twinge of judgement that soured his inquiry. “Under supervision,” she offered to smother out any concern. Physical therapy had become a chore that cut into her productivity throughout the day. Juggling various projects and another string of failed trials, she couldn’t be bothered to go at a snail’s pace. She had to compromise with virtual sessions and a few too many afternoons working it out on her own. “I limit myself to short sessions here and there.” She was far too proud to accept the idea of slowing down. It mirrored the same stubbornness that jolted through Klaus with every decisions made between Regina to Basel, “If you want to hold me, you just have to ask,” she teased. Once the scarf was secured, she waved her hand over his eyes before smiling to herself. Who said a good silk scarf couldn’t come in handy. Helena carefully guided them through the beautifully flowered pathway. She had tirelessly orchestrated this timeless “oasis” look over several hours once he announced his short return. Excitement, wantoning, and sorrow had overtaken all of her rational thinking. She couldn’t tell if this would be one brief pitstop before another fleet of missed opportunities and silence days of longing. Helena grasped at the one patch of light that streamed through the thick overhang of chaos that hung over her. Between a war, a hostage situation, and the unrest at home, she was beginning to loss touch with the warmth of true comfort. “He’s gotten the sit and roll over. His paws are a touch sensitive so the shaking skill is being workshopped.” Helena smiled at the perfect little line of pups and their hammering little tails waiting to celebrate today. “We’re almost there,” she rubbed his chest tenderly.   

[helenadobrasil]

Helena smothered the flickering flame of doubt and worry that stoked in the wake of his absence. She could handle the whispers in closed rooms and the unusual furrow in his brow when he slept. All of the secret he carried etched into the delicate pout of his lips that pursed with each breath. What she could handle was the radio silence that crackled between each mismatched good morning in the evening or goodnight as the sun rose.  "Don’t look at me like that,” she cooed. Her left hand tracing the ghosting frown that hide in the smooth curve of his cupid’s bow. The deeply resonated ache that echoed between her ribs had only slowly dawned on her. A deeply bonded connection warmed in the light of love she had only experienced in the after glow of others. It was like falling asleep. She couldn’t pin the moment it all happened but the buzzing sensation of being awake and aware. She couldn’t unknown the feeling of wishing and wanting to put his happiness and safety above her own. “I am! I’ve been testing it out at home in my office. I won’t be doing a 5k anytime soon but I’ve mastered walking again.” Helena beamed at his willingness to follow her down the rabbit hole. “I’m one step ahead of you,” she pulled the silk scarf from her pocket. “Put it on and I’ll lead us into wonderland. If you hear a little squeaky bark, it’s queijinho. We’re working on inside voices but since we’re outside, my teachings are out the window.” 

[helenadobrasil]

He always had room for dessert. 

The thought of "loving” him right into a peaceful rest had crossed her mind a couple times since this conflict arose in Basel. Sleep seemed to be the rest remedy to the any and all ailments. Even when she was too sad to smile, a nice nap was enough to untwist the copper wires that had been rigged to her ugly parts of her brain. Helena chose to see the world through the rosy tint because it became suffocatingly boring to see all the bleak grays. She often wondered what shade colored his view when standing on the front line. It was a thought that often kept her up at night. “I promise it will not disappointed and nor will this,” she lifted her leg to reveal a softer material than the clunky boot. She begged her physician to move the process along a little faster in anticipation for his arrival. Her foot would still be broken but a little less ugly. Helena squeezed him a little tighter, her leading hand slipping into the back pocket of his pants. “You’ll just have to trust me, okay? The dogs are already there.”