#count basie and wife catherine

[kingsbridgelibraryteens]

Books On Film: Donkey Skin (1970)

Here is a movie that I didn't know existed, which was based on a fairy tale that I didn't know existed. I was curious about this movie because it starred Catherine Deneuve (famed as one of the most beautiful women in the world), because it was a musical, and because the plot sounded absolutely BONKERS.

But I really had no idea just how weird this story would get.

Are you ready to take a long strange journey through a super-strange fairy tale? Okay, let's go!!!!!

So, once upon a time, there was a king and a queen who had a daughter. They also had a donkey who provided them with gold and jewels on a regular basis by ... uhmmm ... excreting them. Just go along with this fairy tale logic, okay?

So, the beautiful queen gets a mysterious illness. While she's on her deathbed, she makes her husband promise that when he marries again (because, you know, male heirs are important), that HE WILL ONLY MARRY SOMEONE AS BEAUTIFUL AS HER.

Do you see where this is going? No? Well, count yourself lucky. Because things are going to get weird. I'll give you a hint: Catherine Deneuve plays both the princess and her mother the queen. Hmmm.

The king is sad that his beautiful wife is dead. He's so depressed that he basically shuns his daughter while they're at the queen's grave:

Okay, so first things first. Yes, I agree that saying "I never wish to see you again" after the poor girl's mother has just died is pretty terrible. But now let's move on to the next topic ... I've heard of glass coffins, but why does THIS one look like a giant Pop-o-matic bubble?

Dear Reader, I have no frigging idea.

I will say, though, that this is just one example of the time and attention that was put into the visual style of this movie. The costumes, the props, and the sets are all pretty amazing. Sometimes they're amazingly bizarre, but they're amazing nonetheless.

Anyway, the king's advisors tell him that he has to marry and produce a male heir. But the king made that promise to his dying wife, so he's looking at all the portraits of all the eligible royalty, and none of them are beautiful enough, except --

OH NO. TELL ME THIS ISN'T HAPPENING --

Ohhhhhhhh boy.

Honestly, "I love you, my daughter, and wish to marry you" is NEVER what you want to hear. His lovely daughter is super-duper upset and confused, and she runs off to see her godmother the Lilac Fairy, who sums things up this way:

"Children do not marry their parents, my child."

Well, I mean ... YES, OBVIOUSLY. It's kind of one of those things that you shouldn't have to say! But anyway, we're in a fairy tale, so here we are.

So, the princess' godmother tells her to stall. She's supposed to come up with more and more outrageous and impossible demands, like I want a dress the color of the weather or I want a dress the color of the sun or I want the skin of that magical donkey of yours.

Meanwhile, the king is getting impatient. But he keeps his eyes on the prize ... the prize being marriage with his daughter, as you may remember.

*shudder*

Okay, so in one of the many conversations between the princess and her father, he says:

"And then you'll marry me?"

Okay, but what part of this is blowing your mind more right now ... that the king wants to marry his daughter (which is SUPER GROSS) or that his throne is ... a gigantic stuffed cat (which is SUPER BIZARRE BUT ALSO SUPER AMAZING)???

I mean, I TOLD you this was going to get weird, right?

Okay, so under the advice of her godmother, the beautiful princess disguises herself in the donkey skin and lives incognito in a faraway land. No one there sees her true beauty, although there is a handsome prince who sees things that most people don't, like this weird rose that talks to him about finding love ...

OMG. What. Is. Happening.

Seriously, if this was any other movie, a talking rose with a human eye in the middle of it would be the strangest thing you'd see. But in this movie, there's some tough competition in that department.

Anyway, I misspoke earlier. HERE'S where it gets weird.

Okay, so the handsome prince falls in love with the princess-in-disguise, who goes by the nickname of Donkey Skin because WHY NOT? He's in love with her, but he doesn't know her real name, and his parents throw a fancy ball at their palace, and ...

Okay, I was wrong. HERE'S where it gets weird.

But, come on! Dressing like cats and birds is part of the special occasion!

Right ... so ... the prince sends word that Donkey Skin must bake a cake for him. She's super-happy about this, and plans to make him a "love cake" with her ring baked into it.

She even makes the cake while singing a duet with herself.

Hmmmm. Maybe THAT'S when things get weird???

Anyway, he finds the ring, says that only the woman who fits this ring will marry him (well THAT sounds familiar), Donkey Skin shows up, the ring fits her, and TA-DAAAAAAA, she's beautiful again!

BTW, that's the famous "dress the color of the sun," and it really is something to behold!

So, now the prince marries the princess, and everybody's happy, and their wedding guests include her father the king and her godmother the Lilac Fairy, and they arrive in a ... a ...

... A HELICOPTER? WITH A GIANT CAT ON IT?????

Okay, I misspoke. HERE'S where it gets weird!!!

Oh, and as the movie comes to a close, the Lilac Fairy and the king approach the princess. The Lilac Fairy says that SHE will be marrying the king (WAIT. THAT WAS AN OPTION???), and the king says that it's good to see her again. It's like that whole weird incest suggestion is just swept under the rug, and we just ... forgive and forget???

So, right about now you might be wondering just what is going on here. What's with this fairy tale? What's with this movie? And what's with the storyline about fathers wanting to marry their daughters? Because this must be the ONLY story where that ever happened ... RIGHT???

Prepare to take a deep dive into the weird world of Donkey Skin!

Donkey Skin (1970):

IMDB

TCM

The Criterion Collection

JustWatch

Internet Archive

Donkey Skin by Charles Perrault

Even MORE Stories About Fathers Who Wanted to Marry Their Daughters [OMG, there are SO MANY!]

Charles Perrault Fairy Tales at NYPL

[mamapriest]

Ella Fitzgerald and Count Basie Documentaries Coming This Fall!

Two documentaries will honor the Queen of Jazz and the King of the Swing Kings, Lady Ella and Count Basie.

August 26, 2020. *denofgeek.com

At the first ever Grammy Awards, legendary songstress Ella Fitzgerald and bandleader Count Basie become the first African Americans to win Grammy Awards. (May 4, 1959)

It doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes to clue us in on who is the Queen of Jazz. It’s Ella Fitzgerald, my dear Watson, Lady Ella. William Basie began to boogie-woogie piano keys at a Harlem club catering to “uptown celebrities.” After a quick stomp through Kansas City, he came back as Count Basie. There are few true royalties among jazz, ask anyone waiting for residual checks, but as Duke Ellington made clear, these two had that thing which made them swing. Eagle Rock Entertainment is dropping two documentaries celebrating these American jazz icons: Ella Fitzgerald: Just One Of Those Things and Count Basie: Through His Own Eyes exclusively on digital formats on Sept. 11.

“Recently enjoying a hugely successful Virtual Cinema release, Ella Fitzgerald: Just One Of Those Things presents a deep, insightful look into the life of The ‘First Lady Of Song,’” according to the press statement. “Ella Fitzgerald’s journey is thoroughly explored, from her youth as a kid on the streets of Harlem during the Great Depression, to her meteoric rise to renowned jazz singer, innovator, and international superstar against the odds of severe racism and sexism.” The documentary was directed by award-winning filmmaker Leslie Woodhead and produced by novelist Reggie Nadelson.

Ella Fitzgerald and son Ray Brown Jr.

Ella Fitzgerald: Just One Of Those Things combines never-before-seen footage with conversations with Smokey Robinson, Tony Bennett, Johnny Mathis, Itzhak Perlman, Norma Miller, the late Andre Previn, and a rare conversation with Ella Fitzgerald’s son, Ray Brown Jr.

Count Basie, the legendary bandleader, is revered for his musical achievements. During his 60 years as a musician, he helped elevate jazz to a serious, respected artform. He took the genre from clubs to concert halls, and was the first African-American to win a Grammy. Directed by Jeremy Marre, Count Basie: Through His Own Eyes “unveils the man behind the music, as Basie tells his story in his own words, according to the press statement. “A revealing biography of this jazz pioneer, the film uncovers his inspirations and passions, as well as his private and family life.”

1964: Count Basie and Frank Sinatra backstage in dressing room. (Photo by John Dominis/The LIFE Picture Collection/Getty Images)

The film layers home movies and photo albums around rare performances Basie did with artists like Frank Sinatra, Billie Holiday, and Sammy Davis Jr. The music underscores Basie’s “conversations of his relationship with wife Catherine (whose work in African-American causes placed her at the side of Martin Luther King) and his protective, undying love for his daughter Diane, who was diagnosed with cerebral palsy,” the press statement reads.

Basie and Billie from a film still

Basie and Sammy Davis Jr.

1957: Count Basie and wife Catherine with daugher Diane, 13, listening to tape recording of newest Basie rendition.

Ella Fitzgerald: Just One Of Those Things and Count Basie: Through His Own Eyes will be available exclusively on digital formats on Sept. 11, 2020.

💕💕💕

[loiladadiani]

What happened to the children of Alexander II's marriage to Catherine Dolgorukaya?

Emperor Alexander II had four children by his second wife, Princess Catherine Dolgorukaya: Alexander, Prince Yurievsky (1872 -1913), Olga, Princess Yurievskaya (1873 -1925), Boris Alexandrovich Yurievsky (1876 - 1876) and Catherine, Princess Yurievskaya (1878 - 1959). They were all born out of wedlock (Alexander and Catherine married in 1880). Their father legitimized and ennobled them before his murder by a terrorist in 1881.

Prince Alexander Yurievsky married twice. His half-brother Emperor Alexander III would not let him enter the army, so he joined the navy under his uncle Grand Duke Alexis Alexandrovich. Although Alexis tried to help him, his performance and behavior were so dismal that Alexis had to dismiss him. Eventually, Nicholas II allowed him into the army, and he retired as a captain when he married. He was a prominent figure in Saint Petersburg society.

Princess Olga Yurievskaya married Georg Nikolaus, Count of Merenberg, a morganatic son of Prince Nikolaus Wilhelm of Nassau by his wife, Natalia Alexandrovna Pushkina, daughter of Alexander Pushkin. Her husband was a brother of Sophie of Merenberg, the wife of Grand Duke Mikhail Mikhailovich (Miche-Miche)

Princess Catherine Yurievskaya married, firstly, Prince Alexander Vladimirovich Baryatinsky; secondly, she married Prince Sergei Platonovich Obolensky. She was distantly related to both.

 A biography of Princess Catherine was written by Princess Marthe Bibesco. This biography was the basis for two films. The first film, Katia, was released in 1938 and the second also named Katia, released in 1959 featured Romy Schneider. (gcl)

[readingandwritingandreading]

The Day Before You ~ Part 7

My Blurb: Sorry for the delay in updating, it was a crazy week and weekend. My little man turned 4 so I have been in full time mommy mode! That’s also why this is just a short and sweet chapter. As always if you didn’t write it don’t post it anywhere. And if someone else is interested in being added to my lil tag list feel free to message me!

Disclaimer: Alas, I own nothing. 

Summary: Forced into an awkward dance with a stranger at Sheamus’s wedding, Ridge doesn’t think he’ll ever see her again until she turns up at a show a few months later with Sheamus’s wife and he gets a second chance.

Pairing: Ridge Holland x OFC Lyssa Hutchinson

Warnings: None 

Tagging: @pioched @snarkandsarcasmftw @pikapuff-316  @rayna69​  @thebookwormcat

Read First: The Day Before You Masterlist 

Also Check Out: Main Masterlist  

I hummed to myself, pouring creamer into my cup while the coffee pot finished. I had woken up before Ridge, carefully extracting myself from his grip, before stealing a shirt out of his bag and throwing it on. I was tempted to wake him up to resume our activities from the night before but he looked so relaxed, sprawled out on my bed hugging my pillow since I had gotten up. The grumble in my stomach warned me the last thing I had eaten was cake so I headed to the kitchen instead. 

Stretching as the pot gurgled its last few drops, I grinned at the ache between my thighs. I had more than a few hickies and some suspiciously finger shaped bruises as well but I couldn’t bring myself to be upset about it. I’d lost count of orgasms. Probably should have realized a rugby player turned wrestler would have some stamina. I jumped when arms wrapped around my waist, relaxing immediately when Ridge pressed a kiss to my shoulder, treating me to a gravelly “good morning” in his gruff accent. 

“Your voice is sexy in the morning” I leaned back into his embrace, smiling up at him. 

“Your ass is sexy in my shirt.” he replied, pressing more kisses to my shoulder. I grinned in response, turning to wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down for a kiss. It started out innocently enough but turned heated when he picked me up to set me on the counter, spreading my legs to stand in between them.

He was shirtless but had pulled on his boxers and a pair of jeans. They were unbuttoned, probably when he realized I had stolen his shirt. I could feel him hardening against my core and I whimpered, coffee forgotten behind me on the counter and using my legs to pull him closer to me. My hands were running down his chest to take care of the jeans when I heard a knock followed by my door opening and my mothers voice filling the space. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Lyssa! You weren’t answering your phone and we’re late for…” Lyssa’s mom trailed off when she saw us in the kitchen. There was an awkward moment where all three of us froze before Lyssa extracted herself from me and jumped down, standing in front of me, presumably to block my erection and I quickly buttoned my pants. 

“Mom! What are you doing here? Ridge put a shirt on!” I stifled a laugh as the last part was whispered in my direction. I was in front of a live audience wearing less clothing on a weekly basis. 

“You’re wearing it.” I whispered back to her before stretching my arm around her, hand extended to her mom. “Hi, I’m Ridge.” 

She recovered then, eyes switching from Lyssa’s blushing face to my outstretched hand. “I’m Catherine. Nice to meet you.” I nodded in agreement. Then she turned towards her daughter. “You were supposed to have lunch with me and your father. We called and texted you saying we were on our way but we didn’t hear a response. I thought you may have overslept so I told him I'd come grab you.” She didn’t look mad, more amused at the situation and Lyssa groaned, hand held to her head. 

“I’m sorry, mom, I completely forgot. The wedding was late and then…we got to bed late.” She recovered with a weak smile. 

I barely managed to suppress my chuckle. “I can head out and let you guys get going.” 

“You should join us! Christopher would love to meet you, he had so much fun talking to Isabella’s husband.” Her mum jumped in before I could move. I opened my mouth to reply, looking at Lyssa for guidance. We had made some huge steps in our relationship last night but we hadn’t talked about meeting each other's parents.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was a grown adult with a career and a car payment, but I felt like a teenager when my mom opened the door to find me and Ridge seconds from ripping our clothes off in my kitchen. He handled it smoothly while I could do nothing but stand there with my hand on my head. He was waiting for me to indicate whether I wanted him to join us and I knew he would take the blame himself if I shook my head. Making up some excuse about work or something. I smiled at him, pretty sure I had fallen a little harder for him.

He took that as his cue and answered my mom with a smile. “I’d be honored to join you.” 

“Great!” Mom smiled brightly, “I’ll let you two get dressed and meet you downstairs!” she headed out the door and I exhaled, resting my head against Ridge’s chest when he wrapped his arms around me. 

“Did I tell you my mom is competitive? Now her daughter is dating a wrestler just like her niece was. I can hear her telling their friends now.” I groaned. 

Ridge chuckled before replying, “I garnered from the wedding.” He pulled me towards my room. “I’m going to need that shirt back.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So how did you two meet?” Dad asked after the waitress had taken our order. We had followed them to the quiet little restaurant, my mom commenting on Ridge being a perfect gentleman the whole time. He opened the car door, helped me out of my coat and pulled out my chair. I shrugged and smiled, I didn't know how to tell her that he wasn’t doing it for their benefit, it was just who he was. Astaire had only done it when we were at a function where cameras might be watching. I couldn’t remember him ever agreeing to lunch at a small restaurant either, always trying to impress others with fancy reservations at expensive restaurants. 

“I work with Sheamus in WWE. He took me under his wing when I moved up to the main roster and we are in a stable together. I caught the garter at his wedding and Lyssa got forced to dance with me.” Ridge shrugged, grinning at me. 

“Oh, I remember that now!” Catherine cut in. “I don’t think she was forced…”

“Mom, you literally drug me onto the floor for the bouquet toss and then Isabella literally drug me over to meet Ridge.” I raised my eyebrow at her. “It worked out in my favor though,” I winked at Ridge, pressing my hand into his. 

The rest of the lunch went smoothly. Ridge told us about the upcoming world tour and entertained my dad with rugby stories, thankfully mom hadn’t mentioned what she walked into at  my apartment. Before leaving the restaurant she pulled me aside, “He seems really nice, Lyssa. You look happy but also…” she paused, staring at me for a minute, “you’re glowing, I guess is the best way to describe it.”  

I caught sight of Ridge shaking my dad’s hand before approaching us, “Ridge makes me happy and he makes me feel cared for.” I shrugged before giving her a hug and taking Ridge’s arm as he escorted me to the car. 

[blackboar]

Every rebellions, plots, conspiracies, and seditions against Henry VII, by chronological order.

1485: Henry VII becomes king after his victory at Bosworth. Two hundred men from the Calais garrison flee to Flanders.

1486: attempted murder against Henry VII at York. The Stafford brothers rebel and take Worcester, while viscount Lovell rebels in Richmondshire. Eventually, the Stafford brothers are captured and one executed, while Lovell flees in Flanders to the court of Margaret of York, dowager duchess of Burgundy.

1487: Lambert Simmel's rebellion. A Yorkist conspiracy proclaims a commoner Lambert Simmel to be the escaped earl of Warwick from the Tower (Edward Plantagenet, nephew of Richard III and Edward IV). He is proclaimed 'Edward V' in Dublin by the Anglo-Irish aristocracy and joined by 2,000 german mercenaries led by viscount Lovell and his cousin John de la Pole, Earl of Lincoln. With a mixed german-irish force, Landing in Lancashire enjoyed limited defection in northern England (mainly lord Bolton of Scrope, lord Bolton of Masham, and Sir Thomas Broughton). Their ~8,000 force is beaten at Stoke by a Tudor army led by the king and the earl of Oxford. Death of Lincoln and Lovell, Simmel is spared. Before the rebellion, Henry VII preemptively jails some key Yorkists, including his mother-in-law Elizabeth Woodville and his brother-in-law the Marquess of Dorset.

1489: Anti-tax rebellion in Yorkshire. The rebels led by Sir John Egremont murder the earl of Northumberland and take York before dissolving at the arrival of the royal army. Egremont flees to the court of Margaret of York.

1491: At Cork, a man proclaims that he is Richard of Shrewsbury, the disappeared second son of Edward IV. His true identity remains unknown. ‘Richard’ receives immediate support nonetheless from some Yorkists such as John Taylor, a former supporter of the duke of Clarence (Edward IV's brother).

1492: 'Richard' land in France, where he was welcomed by Charles VIII, who is at war with England. Henry VII retaliate by an invasion from Calais and sign the treaty of Etaples. Charles VIII agreed to stop supporting English rebels and give the Tudor king a pension.

1492: The peace treaty is unpopular in England, and 'Richard' is welcomed in Flanders by Margaret of York and Maximilian of Habsburg, ruler of the Burgundian estates. Maximilian is angered by the separate peace Henry VII made without consulting him. He recognizes him as the rightful king of England. The news of Richard's survival and reappearance began to be known in England and test the allegiance of Henry VII's subjects.

1493: Henry VII retaliate by imposing a blockade on the Netherlands. Counter-measures ensued, leading to an embargo from both parties, which lead to riots in London. 'Richard' assists at Maximilian's coronation as Holy Roman emperor and is promised support for his restoration. Scotland and Denmark recognize his legitimacy.

1494: Maurice Fitzgerald, earl of Desmond, revolts against the Tudors and leads a rebellion in Munster.

1495: an essential group of plotters is arrested. It consists of the king's own Chamberlain and the most powerful knight in England, Sir William Stanley (he was mighty in Cheshire and had £10,000 of reserve in cash at his castle of Holt). Lord Fitzwater (important Calais official and landowner in East-Anglia), Sir Simon Mountford (significant landowner in Warwickshire), William D'Aubeney, Thomas Cressener, Thomas Astwode, and Robert Ratcliff. They were mainly former supporters of Edward IV, and some had connections with duchess Cecily's household. Sir Robert Clifford, one of the plotters, betrayed the entire plot and was pardoned. Others were fined or executed, like Stanley.

'Richard' prepares to invade England by East-Anglia with a force of exiled and Flemish mercenaries. Stormy winds scattered his forces and made him land in Kent, and his force of 300 soldiers is beaten by the Earl of Oxford at his arrival at Deal. He flees and lands with the remainder of his troops in Ireland, where the revolted earl of Desmond joins him. Their combined forces fail to take Waterford. After this defeat, 'Richard' and his supporters arrive in Scotland.

1496: restoration of trade between The Netherlands and England, as Henry VII join the Holy League against France. The earl of Desmond also makes his peace with Henry VII. A Scottish army invades England as 'Richard' promised to give Berwick £50,000 to the Scottish king James IV. Little result ensues except for some small raidings.

1497: 'Richard' marries a cousin of the Scottish king, Catherine Gordon. As the king of Scotland makes a truce with England, he tries to land once again in Ireland with Sir James Ormond's support. However, Ormond's murder led to the failure of the uprising, and 'Richard' flee from Ireland with three ships. Taxation for the Scottish war led to the Cornish rising. A blacksmith, Michael Joseph, leads the revolt with lord Audley and brings many gentrymen from Cornwall to rebellion. The rebellion extends to neighboring counties as the rebel take Exeter and march to London, virtually unopposed. A 25,000 royal army face some ~15,000 rebels at Blackheath, near London, and triumph. Once again, the earl of Oxford's vanguard is instrumental for the victory against the rebel. 'Richard' finally land in Cornwall, hoping to bolster his support with the Cornish's discontent. An uprising in his favor occurs (second Cornish rebellion), and his 8,000 men fail to take Exeter. His attempted fleeing after the encirclement of his forces by the Tudors led to his capture at Bealieu abbey.

'Richard' confess he is an impostor and a Flemish by the name of Perkin Warbeck. He and his wife are welcomed at court.

1498: 'Richard' tries to escape court and is captured and jailed in the Tower of London. 1499: A Cambridge scholar by the name of Ralph Wiford dreamt that he would become king if he claimed he was the earl of Warwick. His uprising in East Anglia failed, and he is executed.

Edmund de la Pole, earl of Suffolk and brother of the Earl of Lincoln (thus nephew of Richard III), leave England for Flanders after killing a commoner in London before agreeing to come back.

The French hand over many supporters of 'Richard' in France, including John Taylor. Many are executed, but Taylor's life is spared.

An attempted escape made by 'Richard' and his cousin Edward, earl of Warwick, fail, and they are both executed.

1500-1503: Henry VII lost his wife in childbirth and two sons (Arthur and Edmund). Dynastic fragility ensue as Henry VII have only one surviving male heir.

1501: Edmond de la Pole and his brother Richard flee for the Flanders. Henry VII promptly jail their brother, William, with Sir James Tyrell and Lor William Courtenay. Royal officials are sent in East Anglia to monitor the de la Pole affinity. Sir James Tyrell 'confess' before his death the murder of the Princes in the Tower for Richard III.

1504: 'treasonous' talks between Calais officials. They argue about who would be the successor for a declining Henry VII and hesitate between the duke of Buckingham and the Earl of Suffolk, omitting Henry VII's children. 1506: The Habsburgs deliver Edmund de la Pole to Henry VII, who jail him at the Tower of London. In exchange, Henry VII loan them immense sums of cash, such as £108,000 in April.

1509: Henry VII dies, leaving the crown to his adult heir, Henry VIII.

I might have missed some small, aborted plot, but there it is.

With this chronology, it's evident that the War of the Roses (or, more accurately, the war of the succession crisis of 1483) didn't end at Bosworth. Henry VII could have been overthrown in 1487 or the late 1490s. There is also a clear distinction between the rebellions of the 1480s and those of the 1490s. The plot following HenryVII's advent is mainly coming from RichardIII's basis of power. It's his men (Lincoln, Lovell, many northerners), his bases of support (the North and Ireland) who try to overthrow the first Tudor. The plots of ''Perkin Warbeck'' known in historiography, were perilous for Henry VII. Most of his dynastical legitimacy comes from his marriage to Elizabeth of York. A true surviving son of Edward IV would nullify this and put into question the support of every former servant of the late Yorkist king. Hence, Henry VII tried to depict 'Richard' as an impostor and to demonstrate that the Princes of the Tower were dead. Still, he couldn't convince everyone and had to resort to force and the systematic use of a spy network.

Some of those plots might have been exaggerated. The 1504 Calais plot was undoubtedly not a carefully crafted conspiracy but more a manifestation of Henry VII's difficult succession. This chronology also doesn't show the dubious role that many magnates had during this period of unrest. The loyalty of Lord Abergavenny (dominant in Kent) was put into question, as was one of the earls of Derby in the 1490s and Lord Daubeney. Henry VII didn't have many magnates on whom he could truly count.

As you can see, Henry VII was never wholly free from dynastic uncertainty. At his death, Richard de la Pole was still free to push his claim if his brother Edmund died. Henry VIII himself was very wary of potential claimants toppling him. His execution of Edmund de la Pole in 1513 and the duke of Buckingham in 1521 are the best manifestations of this insecurity.

[aethelfleds]

Victims of the Childbed - Anne of Foix-Candale, Queen of Bohemia and Hungary & Anna Jagellonica, Queen of Hungary and Bohemia, Germany, and the Romans

A mother and daughter who led quiet lives as royal consorts but shaped the future of Hungary and then the Holy Roman Empire. 

Anne belonged to a cadet branch of the noble French family of Foix. She was a child when her mother, Infanta Catherine of Navarre, died. Her father, Gaston de Foix, Count of Candale (or Earl of Kendal as he was styled in England) came from a line of soldiers who had fought in service of the English crown. When Anne was around seven, Gaston sent her to be fostered at the court of Anne of Brittany and Louis XII of France. This was a common practice among nobles, particularly in the medieval era. Under Queen Anne’s instruction, Anne de Foix was expected to become a learned and accomplished lady, and hopefully make an advantageous marriage.

     By early 1500, Anne had been orphaned. The Queen took responsibility for her protege’s marriage. It just so happened that Anne of Brittany had a knack for matchmaking, so when the recently divorced King Vladislaus II of Hungary sent envoys to France in search of a suitable wife, she seized her chance. Two portraits were sent to Hungary, on of Anne of Foix-Candale and one of her cousin Germaine de Foix. Anne’s portrait was found to be the most agreeable to Vladislaus and they were soon betrothed.

     In May 1502, eighteen-year-old Anne left France with a queen’s escort. She traveled for 4 months and was fêted in several cities before arriving in Buda in September, where she was greeted by King Vladislaus. They were married on September 29. Anne was naturally homesick in the early days of her marriage, but she soon made a new home as Queen of Hungary. She and Vladislaus got along well and grew to be friends, with her acting as his personal advisor. Yet at forty-six and despite two previous marriages, Vladislaus had no surviving children. He did not have to wait long, for less than a year after their wedding Anne gave birth to their first child, a daughter who would be known as Anna Jagellonica, in July 1503.

     Anne’s popularity in her new country grew over the next few years. Her popularity and influence would have reached its zenith on July 1, 1506 when she gave birth to a son, Louis, born prematurely but alive. But Anne contracted puerperal fever and died on July 26 after fighting the infection for three weeks. The baby boy was said to have been incubated in the bodies of newly slaughtered pigs, but he survived the first uncertain weeks of life.

     Anna Jagellonica and Louis grew up without knowing their mother. They were then orphaned in 1516 when King Vladislaus died. The children came under the protection of Holy Roman Emperor Maximilian. From this point, Anna and Louis would have very different upbringings, as the ten-year-old boy was now King of Hungary. Anna was intelligent and well educated. She would learn to speak Latin, German, and Czech in addition to her native Hungarian.

     Emperor Maximilian arranged Anna’s marriage to his grandson Ferdinand, son of Juana of Castile and the late Phillip of Hapsburg. Anna and Ferdinand were married on May 26, 1521 and were both in their eighteenth year. From this point onward, Anna would seldom be separated from her husband. One stipulation of the union was that Ferdinand would succeed Louis if the young king were to die without an heir. This event must have seemed unlikely until five years later was killed fighting against Sultan Suleiman the Magnificent at the Battle of Mohaćs. He was only twenty and had not fathered any legitimate children.

     Ferdinand quickly laid claims to Bohemia and Hungary. He was soon elected King of Bohemia, but the situation in Hungary was complicated by the Ottoman presence. There were also rival claimants to the throne, but Ferdinand’s claim was certainly strengthened by Anna’s.

     Anna was a model of the traditional queen consort. She was pious and devoted her time to good works, religion, and her children, which began arriving with alarming quickness. Since Anna was always by her husband’s side, the royal nursery was kept well stocked. Their first child, Elisabeth, was born in 1526, followed a year later by the future Emperor Maximilian II. After her firstborn’s birth, Anna would give birth on an almost yearly basis. From 1526 to 1547 she would bear an astonishing fifteen children. On January 24, 1547, Anna gave birth to her last child and eleventh daughter, Joanna. She died three days later, possibly from puerperal fever like her own mother, or simply from the physical toll so many pregnancies had taken on her body. Anna was interred at St. Vitus Cathedral in Prague. Ferdinand never remarried and became Holy Roman Emperor nine years later.

Sources: Pauline Matarasso, Queen’s Mate: Three women of power in France on the eve of the Renaissance

Martyn Rady, Customary Law in Hungary: Courts, Texts, and the Tripartitum

[art-now-italy]

DEMON, Polina Ogiy

DEMON-Evil spirits — the "fallen angels, servants of Satan, his messengers, the angels, the messengers of God. The gospel claim that sickness and brain fog occur as a result of the intervention of demons, because of their exile (often with the help of a stick) is depicted as a small black figures flying out of the mouth of the sufferer. They are depicted carrying away to Hell the soul of the sinner, as the angel carries the soul of the righteous to heaven. Or they fight with the angels for the possession of a human soul (ARS MORIENDI). Usually Satan represents paganism and demons can appear in scenes of conversion to Christianity or victory over the heathen. Have similarities with Satan (the wings, horns and tails), armed with a spear or a pitchfork. Cast them out by SV. Varfalomey SV. Zenon poverzheny at the feet of the SV. Norbert (his conversion to Christianity) SV. Geminiani (the expulsion of the spirits) SV. Catherine of Siena (overcome temptation). the attack of the demons of temptation SV. Anthony the Great is trying to tip the scale of SV. Michael's last judgment convicts pulled into Hell the last judgment the soul carry the unrepentant thief Crucified Christ being dragged soul to Hades Eurydice Orpheus whispers to Judas Iscariot blow out the candle the nuns of St. Genevieve as servants of Satan, kill children, job support in the air Simon the sorcerer SV. Peter the Apostle defeated the demons before Christ's Descent into Hell in front of the preacher (they were hunted angels) Ignatius of Loyola depart from the ship in a storm SV. Mark (cast them out three saints). Classification of demons the Origin of Demons are fallen angels: this is the official teaching of the Christian Church. I think the story of the rebellion of the angels are familiar to everyone - hints of it are in the Bible, appealing to her Christian thinkers, a brilliant literary description of Anglomania is given in j.Milton. I remind you this story briefly. Light one of God's angels named Lucifer ("light-bearer") became proud of their power and intend to take the throne of the Lord. He raised rebellion in heaven and took a third of the angelic hosts. Against the rebels was made by the Archangel Michael with the faithful God of the heavenly armies. In the resulting battle the rebellious angels led by Lucifer (Satan) were cast out of heaven into hell and became demons, whose only aim now is to sow evil. This story has many interpretations, but here we present just a completely original version of the origin of demons, is fundamentally different from the Orthodox: 1. In the middle ages there was a view that demons were originally created by God to commit evil. Advocates of this idea was based on a quote from Isaiah, where God says: "I create the waster to destroy" (54, 16). In rabbinical treatises States that Satan was created on the sixth day of creation at the same time with eve; evil spirits were created "between the suns", that is, between dusk and dawn on the eve of the first Sabbath, when God created their souls, already dawn approached Saturday, and he had no time to create bodies for them. 2. In the heretical doctrine bogomilov, as well as in folk beliefs, not get rid of pagan dualism, Satan (Satanael) is not God's creation, and the independent opposing God figure, much like the Persian Ahriman. Both forces, good and evil, participate in the process of creation of the world; in contrast to God's angels, Satan creates his demonic army, striking his staff on the flint. 3. The apocryphal Book of Enoch recounts the history of the cohabitation of the "sons of God" (angels) with the "daughters of men". The angels exchanged out of lust the Kingdom of heaven on earthly Vale, were cursed by God and became demons. This theory in the middle ages was shared by many Church authorities (eg. Thomas Aquinas). 4. In the same Book of Enoch says that marriages of fallen angels with earthly women was a tribe of monstrous giants. When God destroyed the giants, from their bodies came forth the evil spirits. 5. The ancient Hebrews believed that many evil spirits were born from the intercourse of Adam with female spirits (or eve mens perfume) within those one hundred and thirty years that Adam and eve were separated after the fall. Many demons birthed from Adam and his first wife — Lilith, later she turned into a demon. 6. In demons of three types — Shedim, Rukhin and Lilin — was turned into the part of the people, scattered after the failed construction of the tower of Babel 7. Finally, according to later popular belief, the armies of hell continually replenished by souls of great sinners; children of the damned parents, and offspring of Incubus and succubi. However, all the demons of the lowest discharge, as various vampires, ghosts and werewolves, also make up the army of Satan. The number that the demons there are a great many, no doubt. However, since the first centuries of Christianity, theologians and demonologists with remarkable tenacity practice math, trying to calculate the exact number of infernal spirits. Maxim of tyre in the 2nd century calls the very modest figure of 30,000, but subsequent centuries have inflated the part of the devil's troops to incredible limits. Alphonse de Spina in 1459, on the grounds that from God have disappeared exactly one third of the heavenly host, called the number of demons 133 306 608. In the 16th century, a researcher, taking as a basis the biblical number of the beast", it counted 66 infernal princes, commanders of 6 660 000 devils. Johann Weir, the famous disciple of Agrippa, claimed that in hell live 7 405 926 demons, managed 72 princes. The demons form 1111 6666 units for each. All surpassed the Lutheran theologians, who called a fantastic figure— 2 665 866 746 664 demon.Greek. Daimon In Greek mythology, a generalized notion of some vague and unformed divine power, evil or (sometimes) beneficent, often determines the life the fate of man. This instantly arising and instantly leaving a terrible and fatal force that can be called by the name with which you cannot engage in any communication. Suddenly maglinov, he immediately produces an action and then disappears. In this way, obvious vestiges of the so-called sudden pianism (in the terminology of G. Usener, Doctor - not that other, as "God of this moment"). Sometimes the Olympic gods, too, are called on, but only in generalized or indefinite sense in the case when God has not shown himself individually and hides your name. D. acts directly on the person preparing trouble (Hom. Od. 295 XII), tempted (XVI 194), sends trouble (XIX 512), ominous dreams (XX 87). D. directs man to the path leading to any of the events, often catastrophic (Hom. Od. VI, 172; VII, 248; Il. XXI 92). D. suddenly causes a particular idea (Hom. II. IX 600; Od. III 27). Sometimes beneficent acts. D. (Od. IX, 381), found the epithet olbiodaimon, "schastlivenko". D. is equal to destiny, all the events of human life are under his influence (Aeschyl. Pers. 825; Soph. frg. 592; Eur. Andr. 971). There is D. of birth (Pind. Ol. XIII 105), D. of good and evil (Pind. Pyth. III 34), human nature - its On (Heraclit. frg. 119), each person in life gets your D. (Plat. Phaed. 107 (d). Demons are thought of also inferior deities, intermediaries between gods and men. In Hesiod's generation of the "Golden age" after his disappearance turned into a "blissful." that guard people and look to the right and wrong of the case (Hes. Orr. 121-126). In Roman mythology D. corresponds to a genius. Early Christian ideas about D. are associated with the demonic image of evil, demonic forces (see Demons). Lit.: Losev A. F., classical mythology in its historical development, Moscow, 1957, p. 46-60; Horst P. C. van, Daimon, "Mnemosyne", ser. 3, 10, 1940, pp. 61-68; H. Nowak, Zur Entwicklungsgeschichte des Begriffes Daimon, Bonn, I960. A. F. Losev In the descriptions of the mythologies of various peoples. D. - the symbol of those supernatural characters who are not gods and occupy in comparison with the gods of the lower place in the hierarchy (or are at lower levels in this mythological system). In a more narrow and precise meaning. D. and evil spirits. According to the classification proposed by Uthenera and supported by E. Cassirer, we must distinguish between (spirit) as a symbol of random mythological image that is generated from any object within the field of action of mythological thought, and genius as a symbol of the mythological symbol of the destiny and personality of man.

https://www.saatchiart.com/art/Drawing-DEMON/826122/3012577/view

[mimicofmodes]

(Not fashion. I wrote this as an answer to a question elsewhere and nobody saw it.)

Mary Tudor was the first queen regent of England. Was this noted at the time? Was there any significant reaction, positive or negative, to having a solo female ruler?

The only previous time in English history that a woman attempted to rule in her own right as her father's natural heir was Empress Matilda (1102-1167), the daughter of Henry I and granddaughter of William the Conqueror; at this time, it hadn't even been fully established that princesses could pass inheritance rights on to their sons, so it's remarkable that Henry decided to make her his heir in the absence of other legitimate children of his own. The following summary of the situation may sound familiar to you if you read or watched The Pillars of the Earth. When Henry I died in 1135, his nephew, Stephen of Blois, was able to get crowned in London since Matilda, married to the count of Anjou, wasn't able to make the journey immediately - the idea of the heir immediately becoming ruler on their predecessor's death wasn't yet a tradition. In 1139, she did travel to England, though, and sought out the support of local barons to wage a military campaign against Stephen. She prevailed and ruled for a short time in 1141 but didn't make it to a coronation before being dethroned, and kept on being "Lady of the English" until her half-brother and chief supporter, Robert of Gloucester, died in 1147. She then left for France, giving up on her own personal claim to the English throne.

In the very small number of primary sources left about Matilda's short reign and longer campaign, there's a lot of discussion of her gender. Without any precedent for a woman ruling England (though Anglo-Saxon queens had been able to wield their own kind of power as kings' wives or mothers), she had to construct a version of female kingship that led to her taking on a lot of masculine features. Henry had had her take the same normally-masculine oaths her late brother had made as heir, and while her gaining this position required her to remarry far beneath herself in order to produce her own male heirs, instead of taking on that new title she was considered largely as her father's daughter and an empress (her first husband had been the Holy Roman Emperor) and held onto most of her dowry. Once she began her quest for the crown against Stephen, she threw off conventions of gendered behavior and acted quite openly in her own interest: she captured opponents and held them in chains, legally appealed Stephen's succession, and, well, acted as a king among her own vassals.

Although there hadn't been any explicit opposition to her claim just on the basis of her gender, opponents did use her status as e.g. the wife of the Count of Anjou as tools to delegitimize her standing. Once she had some power, though, her lack of feminine reticence and modesty became a problem even in the chronicles that otherwise supported her. It wasn't so much an issue that people said, "hey, women shouldn't rule," but that once a woman was actively exercising power on her own behalf without cloaking that in concern for her son(s) or a pretense of not wanting to do it. Most kings had queens to project softer, interceding, and more forgiving royal power by their sides, rounding off their corners while they were able to make the hard choices and do nasty, bloody things. Matilda simply didn't have the advantage of this kind of partnership, and couldn't be both the king and queen.

So, Mary. While in general Matilda is not considered a proper queen regnant because she was never crowned (let's note that nobody has this problem when it comes to Edward V, one of the princes in the Tower, just saying), there is no doubt that Mary I ruled officially. Matilda was her only pattern when it came to English queenship, and due to the above, she was more valuable as an example of what not to do - despite the centuries between them, it would still not have gone over well if Mary had flouted what was expected of a woman and simply behaved like her father as a monarch.

Mary's Catholicism was a much bigger issue than her gender as a fact on its own, in a kingdom that had recently switched to Protestantism as the state religion, with a government full of people who'd fully bought into it. Where her gender came into it was the concern about where her husband - someone she was regarded as needing in order to produce her own heirs to keep feuding cousins from starting another civil war - would stand in relationship to the throne. Married women were considered femes couverts in English law, subsumed into their husbands' legal identities, which implied that a queen's husband perhaps might automatically be in charge of the country. Edward VI's "Device for the Succession" (which outlined who would follow him to the throne, since he had no heirs) excluded both Mary and the Protestant Elizabeth out of concerns about their marrying foreign princes - as would be appropriate to their station, being born princesses, even if they'd been later declared bastards - and subjecting England to foreign rule, diverting the line instead to Jane Grey, already married to an Englishman, "and her heirs male". (Jane was, technically, of course, another precedent for Mary. She planned to make her husband a duke, rather than allowing him authority over herself.)

Once she'd declared herself the queen, Mary quickly attracted support from the local gentry and nobility despite her gender: she didn't have a husband ruling over her yet and was also no longer a ward of any man, and therefore feme sole, a totally independent woman. While Mary did have to start off with a bit of military violence, unlike Matilda she had no real challengers and was therefore able to drop the masculine-coded aggression in defending her right to rule, inhabiting the office of kingship as a "normal" woman without really upsetting the overall patriarchal power structure. (It was also enshrined in law by this point that daughters could inherit from their fathers and brothers, so it simply made logical sense to most people that she was now the monarch.) She went to her coronation in cloth of gold and with her hair down, as in the famous coronation portrait of Elizabeth I, the traditional way for a king's wife being crowned to appear, and later billed this ceremony as her marriage to the realm, a marriage in which she was obviously the bride. In general, she modeled herself on her pious mother, Catherine of Aragon, rather than her powerful and somewhat arbitrary father - typically, this is presented in pop culture as just a part of her fanaticism, rather than the use of a traditional aspect of queen-consortship. She was publicly rather submissive to her advisors and ambassadors, confirming her status as an unmarried woman above her status as monarch and allowing them to believe that she was naive and trusting, as they expected her to be due to her gender. Before she wed Philip II of Spain, she talked up her desire to remain chaste and made it clear that her main reason for marriage was the succession (the ensuring of which would make her pregnant and therefore extra-womanly); she allowed it to appear that she was totally uninvolved with the negotiation process for his hand, as though the men were deciding her fate. (Despite all of this, she made it clear in her marriage paperwork that she would continue to be the ultimate authority, reducing him to the traditional female role of intercessor and soft-power-holder, and that Philip's title of "king" was only a courtesy, and she also brought no dowry at all to the match - far from the expected behavior of a royal bride, in general!) Rather than bringing herself into the masculine role of king, basically, she brought the role of kingship to herself while staying firmly in the female sphere, and while her sister's reign was longer and more successful, it's clear that Elizabeth took a certain amount of direction from the way Mary handled her gender.

Both of the two "first" queens regnant of England had a great deal of trouble in ruling (and in later biographies) as a result of the way that others perceived their gender and their ability to conform to its conventions. Their problem was the social practices surrounding their gender, that is - not just their gender in and of itself. It's difficult to get into the historical mindset that saw women considered the property of their male relatives throughout their lives (unless they were lucky enough to become rich widows) and yet also considered women not biologically unfit to rule a country. In part, this difficulty is supported by hundreds of pop cultural depictions of historical men as total chauvinists who thought women were simply stupid across the board, which ignores the reality that elite women did a lot of work in estate management and diplomacy, and which they recognized as valuable. It's a contradiction. People have a lot of contradictions, even today - we don't run on pure logic, although many think they do and use that to prop up their own internal contradictions.

You might be interested in reading The Lioness Roared: The Problems of Female Rule in English History, by Charles Beem (2006), which is 100% about this issue and was my major source for this answer. It's great! In general, I recommend all of Palgrave Macmillan’s Queenship and Power series.

[writecome-blog]

Going Eye Ball To Eye Ball With A Thousand Pound Cow

Originally posted 2020-01-19 05:02:13.

…when it comes to remembering dates, things like birthdays even my own kids, escapes me sometimes.

My wife’s birthday is a different story, it never leaves my mind, probably because I know I’d be killed if I forgot it.

…that’s another thing, women and birthdays.

My wife is like a Rolodex when it comes to who’s birthday is when. Me, my head’s like a sieve. But that’s for another email.

Anyhoo..

…back to the story.

It all began on a cold, damp and foggy night.

I was travelling home on my motorbike, after visiting Catherine at her house in the local town of Dundalk.

We’d only been going out a while, and she’d told me to be careful on my way home, especially as it was late and I was on a motorbike.

…hey what can I say…she loved me.

At the time I was still living at home, so it was a ten mile journey, but  one I did on a daily basis.

I knew the road like the back of my hand, and even on a foggy night, I knew where every pot hole, corner, and piece of gravel was.

The one thing I didn’t expect to see, and didn’t see until the last second, was a cow standing in the middle of the road.

I’ll never forget whistling past it at 70 miles an hour, mere inches from it.

To say my heart skipped a beat was an understatement. If it had moved a foot or two into my lane, I’d had it.

I looked back in my mirror at the black and white shape that disappeared in the fog, and thanked the man above. He’d let me off that time.

Although I can’t remember the date, that moment will always be stuck in my mind.

I’d imagine in thirty years from now I’ll still be able to recall that moment when I came eye to eye with that cow.

But ask me about any other date and I’m left scratching my head and counting with my fingers.

What can I say…I’m a man. Not too much stays for long on the old hard drive in my head.

That’s where calendars come in handy. Even with all the technology that we have, a calendar on the wall is a God  send.

And especially if you’re a man and there’s a birthday coming up. You can’t say you didn’t see the date with the big red X on it.

Alessandro Zamboni has just released a new course that’ll show you how to add another income string to your bow…making and selling calendars.

I know you’d think that they’re old school, but they’re just as popular as ever, and you could be selling your own too.

Click here to try it out.

Imagine how many you’d have for next year if you started now.

The post Going Eye Ball To Eye Ball With A Thousand Pound Cow first appeared on WriteCome.com.

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[sayaaensland]

Whenever I see a fairy tale with a king with one or more daughters and no sons, I always start thinking about inheritance.

England and the Iberians were Europe's odd ducks for letting women inherit thrones on regular basis**. Austria fought an entire war because Europe disagreed with the emperor about letting his daughter inherit the throne.

Who is the heir to the throne? Does the daughter's husband have a claim? Is that why the king is so eager to marry his daughter to the first schmuck who does a particularly impressive party trick? Does he have brothers or male-line cousins so he figures the inheritance is already handled?

I think about Princess Peach and her absent parents, and how she isn't Queen Peach. (Is the Mushroom Kingdom actually the Mushroom Principality? Is Peach the ruling monarch?)

But mostly, I think about Snow Fucking White.

The Evil Queen is the dead king's second wife. She has no business ruling over anything. The only way a queen consort could have any sort of administrative power was... if she was an underage monarch's regent.

That means that Snow White isn't a princess, she's the ACTUAL FUCKING LAWFUL QUEEN REGNANT OF THE COUNTRY.

How does her stepmother get away with making her a maid?! Why isn't the nobility in revolt?

Or is this a Catherine the Great situation? The Evil Queen's husband was so incompetent that the nobles revolted and executed him and raised the Evil Queen to the throne? But that still makes Snow White the heir to the throne! How is nobody complaining that she's not getting the education and treatment allotted to someone of her status?

Is she concerned Snow White could gain enough influence to dethrone her in turn? In that case, why hasn't she remarried, popped out a new heir and quietly poisoned Snow White? It's the Vaguely Renaissance Era, people were dropping like flies; just shed some crocodile tears and say it was illness.

Is Snow White not the heir? Does she have a cousin who's the legal heir? In that case, why did the nobility install the Evil Queen in the coup instead of that guy?

No matter what way you try to spin it, the situation doesn't make any sense.

But the clusterfuck gets even worse. At the end of the movie, the Evil Queen dies, and Snow White fucks off with this dude she's known for like 2 minutes total, presumably heading off to his native kingdom.

WHO IS RULING THE COUNTRY?!

The regent is dead, the heir is MIA, presumed dead. Who gets the throne?

Does a random noble descended from a royal bastard claim the throne? The king's cousin crawls out of the woodwork he should've crawled out of years ago? Is Snow White gonna come back with her husband's army and fight a civil war over the throne? Is her husband the eldest or only son? Are their kingdoms gonna form a personal union?

DISNEY EXBLAIN!

**Russia doesn't count as Europe.

[aion-rsa]

Ella Fitzgerald and Count Basie Documentaries Swing By on Sept. 11

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

It doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes to clue us in on who is the Queen of Jazz. It’s Ella Fitzgerald, my dear Watson, Lady Ella. William Basie began to boogie-woogie piano keys at a Harlem club catering to “uptown celebrities.” After a quick stomp through Kansas City, he came back as Count Basie. There are few true royalties among jazz, ask anyone waiting for residual checks, but as Duke Ellington made clear, these two had that thing which made them swing. Eagle Rock Entertainment is dropping two documentaries celebrating these American jazz icons: Ella Fitzgerald: Just One Of Those Things and Count Basie: Through His Own Eyes exclusively on digital formats on Sept. 11.

“Recently enjoying a hugely successful Virtual Cinema release, Ella Fitzgerald: Just One Of Those Things presents a deep, insightful look into the life of The ‘First Lady Of Song,’” according to the press statement. “Ella Fitzgerald’s journey is thoroughly explored, from her youth as a kid on the streets of Harlem during the Great Depression, to her meteoric rise to renowned jazz singer, innovator, and international superstar against the odds of severe racism and sexism.” The documentary was directed by award-winning filmmaker Leslie Woodhead and produced by novelist Reggie Nadelson.

Ella Fitzgerald: Just One Of Those Things combines never-before-seen footage with conversations with Smokey Robinson, Tony Bennett, Johnny Mathis, Itzhak Perlman, Norma Miller, the late Andre Previn, and a rare conversation with Ella Fitzgerald’s son, Ray Brown Jr.

Count Basie, the legendary bandleader, is revered for his musical achievements. During his 60 years as a musician, he helped elevate jazz to a serious, respected artform. He took the genre from clubs to concert halls, and was the first African-American to win a Grammy. Directed by Jeremy Marre, Count Basie: Through His Own Eyes “unveils the man behind the music, as Basie tells his story in his own words, according to the press statement. “A revealing biography of this jazz pioneer, the film uncovers his inspirations and passions, as well as his private and family life.”

The film layers home movies and photo albums around rare performances Basie did with artists like Frank Sinatra, Billie Holiday, and Sammy Davis Jr. The music underscores Basie’s “conversations of his relationship with wife Catherine (whose work in African-American causes placed her at the side of Martin Luther King) and his protective, undying love for his daughter Diane, who was diagnosed with cerebral palsy,” the press statement reads.

Ella Fitzgerald: Just One Of Those Things and Count Basie: Through His Own Eyes will be available exclusively on digital formats on Sept. 11.

The post Ella Fitzgerald and Count Basie Documentaries Swing By on Sept. 11 appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[catie-does-things]

“You are not under the authority of anyone who has disqualified themselves as a spiritual leader.” This statement has no biblical basis, and begs the question of what counts as a disqualification. You can say Timothy 3 again, but Timothy 3 does not say say that anyone who fails to meet those criteria loses their authority.

“You are not under the spiritual authority of anyone who teaches something different from the Word of God.” You are certainly not under obedience to follow any teaching which contradicts the Word of God, but the sins of a particular pastor or pope or other person in authority do not necessarily entail that all of their teachings contradict the Word of God, and thus the general duty of obedience remains. For a timely example, if your pastor sets it as a rule that anyone coming to services at your church must wear a mask to prevent the spread of disease, and then you discover that your pastor has cheated on his wife, you are not therefore absolved from your duty to obey him and wear a mask to church services.

And I did look into whether or not St. Catherine of Siena actually said this quote before I responded to this post, and presented what I found, which was not a single citation that can give me a primary source for it, while none of the available primary sources contain it. If that is not enough to convince you that the quote’s attribution to St. Catherine should be at least taken with a grain of salt, then I don’t know what else to say. But this quote was being used to defame not only St. Catherine, but the entire Catholic Church as a whole, which I felt compelled to defend. I have attempted to do so by both pointing out the dubious nature of the original quote and by recontextualizing and explaining the ideas it alludes to. You are the one who has repeatedly insisted on the exact literal wording of the unproven quote, not I.

And if we are to have any obedience to any earthly authority at all, then we all must follow sinners in some capacity. If you obey the laws of your country, you are following the sinners who made and enforce those laws. If you listen to the advice of your pastor, you are following a sinner who gave you that advice. If you rely on your own judgement of what is and is not in line with the Word of God - guess what, you’re a sinner, too, as am I and as we all are, so you’re following a sinner again. Our highest and first obedience is of course due to God and God alone, but there are other people in legitimate positions of authority under God to whom we also owe obedience - secondary to God, but very real - as God himself has repeatedly told us.

Quote from Catherine of Sienna, alongside her mummified head

[hadnothing]

&& stats.

name. catherine adams.  nickname. cat. alias(es). miss .45 & the black widow killer. species. human. age & dob. 28 & november 2. gender & pronouns. cis woman & she/her. orientation. bisexual. occupation. hitwoman. residence. varies. 

&& appearance.

height. 5′6″ / 168 cm. build. slim.  hair color. brown.  eye color. brown.  scars. tba.  tattoos. none. piercings. earlobes.  face claim. aubrey plaza.

&& medical.

mental. profile incomplete. noted misandristic, psychopathic, narcissistic tendencies. physical. tba.  phobias. atychiphobia. alcohol use. recreational.  drug use. none.

&& miscellaneous.

mbti. istj-a. alignment. chaotic evil. zodiac. scorpio.  hogwarts. slytherin.

&& context.

ethnicity. biracial. puerto rican & eastern european. relatives. daniel adams - father, status unknown. laila adams - mother, deceased. birthplace. ponce, puerto rico. languages. spanish & english. education. high school ged.  abilities. excellent marksmanship & adaptability.

&& history.

catherine adams was born to daniel adams and his wife, laila; throughout her childhood, cat suffered major abuse at the hands of her father, both physical and emotional. laila did her best to provide for cat, and took the brunt of the abuse, but was unable to shield her daughter completely. both cat and laila were in and out of different local emergency rooms on a disturbingly regular basis. 

over time, reports of teachers and other unrelated adults accumulated, and the adams family began to be scrutinized by child protective services. this gave laila the confidence and impetus to actually file charges against her husband, placing cat in the foster care system - daniel then killed her and got away with it, effectively staging his wife’s death as an accident. cat knew exactly what he’d done. she would never forgive him for it. 

cat would be shuffled through the system for the rest of her adolescence. she was a bright kid, but angry, and didn’t socialize with other children well. she scared them, along with being cruel and callous towards family pets, and this meant she was moved again, and again, and again, until she finally landed and stuck with a child-free couple. 

her foster father proved to be just as abusive as her biological father, even if his methods differed, and he tormented cat when her foster mother was away. she took a page out of daniel’s book and murdered her foster father. she was a suspect briefly but was released due to lack of evidence, and the death was declared a tragic accident.

cutting contact with her foster mother, she moved on, taking odd jobs and constantly plotting how to take her revenge on her father - daniel had fled the country and been impossible to track since around when she’d turned 15. cat became a hitwoman under the moniker miss .45, and in fact a member of a loosely connected group of highly effective hitmen - the only member of the network to prefer killing her targets up close and personal, taking great pleasure in tormenting them first. she also chose to work (at times) with one other member of the network serving as a partner and backup, an explosives specialist who was known simply as the bomber.

while she was faithful to the majority of her contracts, she had a special interest in a certain subset of client - and consistently double-crossed and killed any male client who had contracted to kill their wives, as they reminded her of her father, who she continued searching for.

unless otherwise specified, i’m going to keep cat’s “main verse” set to pre-criminal minds first appearance, as i feel that gives the most room for exploration & development, so in-show events are not included here.

&& victim count.

confirmed. 204+. attempted. 2. by proxy. 1.

[adambstingus]

5 Terrible Tragedies Exploited By Cash-Obsessed A-Holes

Everyone loves a good scary movie, but wouldn’t it be great if you were actually living in a scary movie? That’s the business model in play for some luminaries out there, who think you really want to relive some of history’s most horrifying moments. They’re convinced that the tragedy-junkie dollar exists, dammit, and they’re going to get that green, dammit. So what’ve they come up with?

#5. Haunted Houses Based On Real Serial Killers

People who go to haunted houses are getting increasingly jaded — once you’ve chained live, naked actresses to the floor, there aren’t many places to go — apparently prompting the sort of people who design haunted houses to ask themselves, “What about actual murder?”

So, for the last few years, haunted houses have begun reenacting the real murders of notorious serial killers like Jeffrey Dahmer and John Wayne Gacy. One New York production even featured an exhibit of the creepsters’ personal belongings, donated by a murder memorabilia collector who requested to remain anonymous. Let the speculation begin!

It’s always the quiet ones.

If you haven’t cottoned on to what’s wrong with that, here’s a hint: The victims’ families are still alive! And lo, they aren’t thrilled about jump-scare peddlers using deceased loved ones as props. (And at $30 to $60 a ticket, wildly profitable ones.) To really rub it in, some houses are specifically focusing on local killers, just to make absolutely certain that someone will stumble upon their worst nightmare.

For example, a Sacramento house tried to cash in on the local notoriety of Richard Trenton Chase. For those of you who didn’t live through Chase’s serial killing spree, the short version is that he killed six people.

Then he mutilated and ate them.

Among his victims was a pregnant woman whom he shot, killed, stabbed, sexually assaulted, and drank the blood of, in that order. And her husband was the one who found her when Chase was done. So you could imagine the husband’s horror when he found out that 36 years later a local entertainer was selling tickets to staged re-creations of his wife’s murder. The only good news to come out of this story is that the Sacramento house shut down their fun little show when the victims’ grieving families complained.

Also, there’s a warm seat in hell reserved for this newspaper layout editor.

And the only reason the horrific story above is considered “good news” is because Rob Zombie didn’t have the grace to do the same thing after people complained about Rob Zombie’s Great American Nightmare in Chicago, which featured a Gacy room.

When the Gacy victims’ families complained about a haunted house room featuring a clown blowing up balloons while surrounded by child-sized dolls dressed as Boy Scouts, Rob Zombie said he thought the room was “funny.” And in case you’ve forgotten John Wayne Gacy’s shtick, it was raping and murdering at least 33 Chicago-area young men. To be fair, everyone who’s seen his Halloween remakes knows that Rob Zombie is a renowned authority on comedy.

Finally, London recently opened a Jack the Ripper museum that — not even fucking kidding here — initially branded itself as a new “museum of women’s history.” The museum’s press release invited visitors to experience Jack the Ripper’s crimes “through the eyes of the women who were his victims,” by which they meant “take selfies with their mannequin corpses.”

#TransformationTuesday #dead

No, really: “A picture with Jack in Mitre Square together with the body of Catherine Eddowes” was one of the advertised selling points. The museum’s spokesperson insisted that the morbid selfie station was “done in a very respectful way,” and those words somehow didn’t sound like nonsense when he heard them come out of his mouth. In another statement issued by the museum, they explained that they just wanted women to “be able to experience the London of 1888 in the presence of Jack the Ripper.” That’s a good point — where else could a woman ever experience the fear of violence just from walking down the street?

#4. An Annual Nazi-Themed Christmas Party

In 2014, a Minneapolis newspaper received a photo of a literal Nazi party, complete with cheerful swastika flags hung between Christmas lights over a group of men in SS uniforms. The anonymous sender provided no other information, making it seem like a really vague and bizarre threat, but the newspaper’s reporters eventually discovered that it was not, in fact, a Shining-style snapshot of a ghost ball but a group of historical reenactors partying like it’s 1939.

After the local Jewish community issued a call to shut down the event, its organizer made a statement, insisting, “By no means do we glorify the edicts of the Third Reich,” before pulling out the smelling salts in case he got a case of the vapors at the mere suggestion.

“We just like to get drunk and spend the evening heiling, like any fun-loving American.”

This little group just likes to get together for a bit of wholesome Nazi fun every Christmas and hand out swastika T-shirts to the restaurant staff, that’s all. Another partygoer explained, “Because they dress up like Germans from World War II, it’s cool to go to a German restaurant, eat German food, and drink German beer.” Dude, cultural appropriation is not the problem here.

As for why it was necessary to actually hang up Nazi decorations and give out Nazi party favors, they’re, uh … really into method acting? He compares it to “a Star Trek convention but for WWII enthusiasts,” failing to grasp the galaxy-sized difference between those things. He may not win any awards for cultural sensitivity, but he gets first place in self-dug holes.

#3. There Are Two New Titanics In The Works

Apparently, there are people who watch Titanic over and over for reasons other than Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, and the furious masturbation they inspire. Indeed, the ship that famously claimed the lives of approximately 1,500 people has enough fans that not one but two actual-size replicas are being built.

One will be a functional cruise ship that its commissioner, Australian billionaire Clive Palmer, fully intends to sail, because some people have no fear of irony. Of course, the construction of Titanic II will comply with modern safety regulations, and it’s set to sail a completely different path. Don’t wanna tempt fate too much.

Crewmen shouting, “Iceberg! 2,500 miles north!” while not exactly in great taste, is a lot more reassuring.

The people building the other replica, however, are actually counting on it sinking. That’s because it will be part of a “6-D” Chinese theme park where people can experience the sinking firsthand with a simulation featuring an orgy of special effects and/or go insane exploring the two dimensions beyond time itself.

The guy funding it excitedly gushed that visitors “will think, ‘The water will drown me; I must escape with my life,‘” unwittingly unmasking himself as a robot with no comprehension of the human concept of fun. Aside from the questionable judgment of using a tragedy as the basis for a freaking theme park, what is even the point of a Titanic simulation that doesn’t include Kate Winslet’s nipples?

#2. A Reality TV Show Simulating Life In Nazi Germany

If you could travel back to any time period and experience how people lived in that era, what would you pick? The Ren Faire types might choose Renaissance Europe, the chemistry enthusiasts might choose the ’60s, and so on. That covers both of our readers, which means none of you picked Eastern Europe in the 1940s. Huh, why might that be?

“OK, before we set up the time machine, who votes ‘Hendrix concert’ and who votes ‘Nazi occupied Czechoslovakia’?”

Even though everyone knows what life was like in that particular place and time — to wit, super horrible — that hasn’t stopped those paragons of taste, reality TV producers, from bringing us The Real World: Nazi Europe. It was actually a short-lived series in the Czech Republic called, for serious, Holiday In The Protectorate. There was no time travel involved, just a modern family shut in a house with little food and period-appropriate accommodations while fake Nazi soldiers prowled outside, because they had a really weird idea of leisure.

“You have your Survivor, we have ours.”

The global Jewish community wasn’t impressed, namely because of one tiny anachronism that the director, whose stated goal was “to show life in another era while ensuring the highest level of authenticity,” had absentmindedly overlooked: The very real threat of death, which claimed 82,309 Czech Jews. The greatest danger faced by this family, on the other hand, was a falling stage light. Luckily, that means there was an easy way for the producers to make everyone happy: Just abduct one member of the household every week, never to be seen by their family again. For some reason, they went in a different direction.

#1. 9/11 And Trayvon Martin VR Games

It’s not a mind-blowing revelation that people like to play video games to live out fantasies, the most famous of which is pretending to be an Italian man who’s addicted to psilocybin and tortoise murder. There are also all kinds of Counter-Strike maps that allow you to play out real events, like the Boston Bombing and the standoff at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge. They’re taking some pretty massive liberties with the facts, however. For example, the setup for the wildlife refuge includes fictional hostages the terrorists never took.

Apparently, long diatribes about the Bureau of Land Management don’t really work in a first-person shooter.

We already base most of our shoot-’em-up games on real wars and the like, so that’s only slightly below par for the course. Then there’s the 9/11 virtual reality game.

The plot? You’re not making a mad dash for survival. In fact, not dying isn’t even an option. You start out in an office in the North Tower, where you receive a few commands to fetch files for your boss and things like that, but once the first plane strikes, you just go where the game takes you. Where it takes you, in fact, is to the office of a stranger who quickly becomes so distraught that he jumps out the window. Then you watch your boss call her mom to say goodbye before you both suffocate from the smoke.

That’s it. Just 10 minutes of watching people cry, and then you die. It’s bleak as shit.

In terms of sheer pointlessness, though, the winner is — no, seriously — the VR reenactment of the shooting of Trayvon Martin. The experience is reconstructed from the 911 calls placed by George Zimmerman and, later, members of the community from inside their homes. So that’s the viewpoint we take. It’s literally just a bunch of people on the phone in their living rooms. We never see or hear anything of the actual shooting except for a flash of gunfire and the boy’s real screams for help. The designers insist that reenactments like these could be helpful to investigators, but failed to explain how animated phone calls starring the goddamn Sims tells anybody anything.

“We didn’t see anything because we were drowning our kids in the pool.”

Ready to learn about some more incredibly dickish people? Then check out The 8 Most Shameless Attempts to Cash In On 9/11 and The 6 Most Clueless Assholes To Ever Exploit Tragedies.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/11/5-terrible-tragedies-exploited-by-cash-obsessed-a-holes/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/165238661882

[writecome-blog]

Going Eye Ball To Eye Ball With A Thousand Pound Cow

…when it comes to remembering dates, things like birthdays even my own kids, escapes me sometimes.

My wife’s birthday is a different story, it never leaves my mind, probably because I know I’d be killed if I forgot it.

…that’s another thing, women and birthdays.

My wife is like a Rolodex when it comes to who’s birthday is when. Me, my head’s like a sieve. But that’s for another email.

Anyhoo..

…back to the story.

It all began on a cold, damp and foggy night.

I was travelling home on my motorbike, after visiting Catherine at her house in the local town of Dundalk.

We’d only been going out a while, and she’d told me to be careful on my way home, especially as it was late and I was on a motorbike.

…hey what can I say…she loved me.

At the time I was still living at home, so it was a ten mile journey, but  one I did on a daily basis.

I knew the road like the back of my hand, and even on a foggy night, I knew where every pot hole, corner, and piece of gravel was.

The one thing I didn’t expect to see, and didn’t see until the last second, was a cow standing in the middle of the road.

I’ll never forget whistling past it at 70 miles an hour, mere inches from it.

To say my heart skipped a beat was an understatement. If it had moved a foot or two into my lane, I’d had it.

I looked back in my mirror at the black and white shape that disappeared in the fog, and thanked the man above. He’d let me off that time.

Although I can’t remember the date, that moment will always be stuck in my mind.

I’d imagine in thirty years from now I’ll still be able to recall that moment when I came eye to eye with that cow.

But ask me about any other date and I’m left scratching my head and counting with my fingers.

What can I say…I’m a man. Not too much stays for long on the old hard drive in my head.

That’s where calendars come in handy. Even with all the technology that we have, a calendar on the wall is a God send.

And especially if you’re a man and there’s a birthday coming up. You can’t say you didn’t see the date with the big red X on it.

Alessandro Zamboni has just released a new course that’ll show you how to add another income string to your bow…making and selling calendars.

I know you’d think that they’re old school, but they’re just as popular as ever, and you could be selling your own too.

Click here to try it out.

Imagine how many you’d have for next year if you started now.

The post Going Eye Ball To Eye Ball With A Thousand Pound Cow appeared first on WriteCome.com.

from WordPress https://writecome.com/going-eye-ball-to-eye-ball-with-a-thousand-pound-cow/

[jimdsmith34]

5 Terrible Tragedies Exploited By Cash-Obsessed A-Holes

Everyone loves a good scary movie, but wouldn’t it be great if you were actually living in a scary movie? That’s the business model in play for some luminaries out there, who think you really want to relive some of history’s most horrifying moments. They’re convinced that the tragedy-junkie dollar exists, dammit, and they’re going to get that green, dammit. So what’ve they come up with?

#5. Haunted Houses Based On Real Serial Killers

People who go to haunted houses are getting increasingly jaded — once you’ve chained live, naked actresses to the floor, there aren’t many places to go — apparently prompting the sort of people who design haunted houses to ask themselves, “What about actual murder?”

So, for the last few years, haunted houses have begun reenacting the real murders of notorious serial killers like Jeffrey Dahmer and John Wayne Gacy. One New York production even featured an exhibit of the creepsters’ personal belongings, donated by a murder memorabilia collector who requested to remain anonymous. Let the speculation begin!

It’s always the quiet ones.

If you haven’t cottoned on to what’s wrong with that, here’s a hint: The victims’ families are still alive! And lo, they aren’t thrilled about jump-scare peddlers using deceased loved ones as props. (And at $30 to $60 a ticket, wildly profitable ones.) To really rub it in, some houses are specifically focusing on local killers, just to make absolutely certain that someone will stumble upon their worst nightmare.

For example, a Sacramento house tried to cash in on the local notoriety of Richard Trenton Chase. For those of you who didn’t live through Chase’s serial killing spree, the short version is that he killed six people.

Then he mutilated and ate them.

Among his victims was a pregnant woman whom he shot, killed, stabbed, sexually assaulted, and drank the blood of, in that order. And her husband was the one who found her when Chase was done. So you could imagine the husband’s horror when he found out that 36 years later a local entertainer was selling tickets to staged re-creations of his wife’s murder. The only good news to come out of this story is that the Sacramento house shut down their fun little show when the victims’ grieving families complained.

Also, there’s a warm seat in hell reserved for this newspaper layout editor.

And the only reason the horrific story above is considered “good news” is because Rob Zombie didn’t have the grace to do the same thing after people complained about Rob Zombie’s Great American Nightmare in Chicago, which featured a Gacy room.

When the Gacy victims’ families complained about a haunted house room featuring a clown blowing up balloons while surrounded by child-sized dolls dressed as Boy Scouts, Rob Zombie said he thought the room was “funny.” And in case you’ve forgotten John Wayne Gacy’s shtick, it was raping and murdering at least 33 Chicago-area young men. To be fair, everyone who’s seen his Halloween remakes knows that Rob Zombie is a renowned authority on comedy.

Finally, London recently opened a Jack the Ripper museum that — not even fucking kidding here — initially branded itself as a new “museum of women’s history.” The museum’s press release invited visitors to experience Jack the Ripper’s crimes “through the eyes of the women who were his victims,” by which they meant “take selfies with their mannequin corpses.”

#TransformationTuesday #dead

No, really: “A picture with Jack in Mitre Square together with the body of Catherine Eddowes” was one of the advertised selling points. The museum’s spokesperson insisted that the morbid selfie station was “done in a very respectful way,” and those words somehow didn’t sound like nonsense when he heard them come out of his mouth. In another statement issued by the museum, they explained that they just wanted women to “be able to experience the London of 1888 in the presence of Jack the Ripper.” That’s a good point — where else could a woman ever experience the fear of violence just from walking down the street?

#4. An Annual Nazi-Themed Christmas Party

In 2014, a Minneapolis newspaper received a photo of a literal Nazi party, complete with cheerful swastika flags hung between Christmas lights over a group of men in SS uniforms. The anonymous sender provided no other information, making it seem like a really vague and bizarre threat, but the newspaper’s reporters eventually discovered that it was not, in fact, a Shining-style snapshot of a ghost ball but a group of historical reenactors partying like it’s 1939.

After the local Jewish community issued a call to shut down the event, its organizer made a statement, insisting, “By no means do we glorify the edicts of the Third Reich,” before pulling out the smelling salts in case he got a case of the vapors at the mere suggestion.

“We just like to get drunk and spend the evening heiling, like any fun-loving American.”

This little group just likes to get together for a bit of wholesome Nazi fun every Christmas and hand out swastika T-shirts to the restaurant staff, that’s all. Another partygoer explained, “Because they dress up like Germans from World War II, it’s cool to go to a German restaurant, eat German food, and drink German beer.” Dude, cultural appropriation is not the problem here.

As for why it was necessary to actually hang up Nazi decorations and give out Nazi party favors, they’re, uh … really into method acting? He compares it to “a Star Trek convention but for WWII enthusiasts,” failing to grasp the galaxy-sized difference between those things. He may not win any awards for cultural sensitivity, but he gets first place in self-dug holes.

#3. There Are Two New Titanics In The Works

Apparently, there are people who watch Titanic over and over for reasons other than Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, and the furious masturbation they inspire. Indeed, the ship that famously claimed the lives of approximately 1,500 people has enough fans that not one but two actual-size replicas are being built.

One will be a functional cruise ship that its commissioner, Australian billionaire Clive Palmer, fully intends to sail, because some people have no fear of irony. Of course, the construction of Titanic II will comply with modern safety regulations, and it’s set to sail a completely different path. Don’t wanna tempt fate too much.

Crewmen shouting, “Iceberg! 2,500 miles north!” while not exactly in great taste, is a lot more reassuring.

The people building the other replica, however, are actually counting on it sinking. That’s because it will be part of a “6-D” Chinese theme park where people can experience the sinking firsthand with a simulation featuring an orgy of special effects and/or go insane exploring the two dimensions beyond time itself.

The guy funding it excitedly gushed that visitors “will think, ‘The water will drown me; I must escape with my life,'” unwittingly unmasking himself as a robot with no comprehension of the human concept of fun. Aside from the questionable judgment of using a tragedy as the basis for a freaking theme park, what is even the point of a Titanic simulation that doesn’t include Kate Winslet’s nipples?

#2. A Reality TV Show Simulating Life In Nazi Germany

If you could travel back to any time period and experience how people lived in that era, what would you pick? The Ren Faire types might choose Renaissance Europe, the chemistry enthusiasts might choose the ’60s, and so on. That covers both of our readers, which means none of you picked Eastern Europe in the 1940s. Huh, why might that be?

“OK, before we set up the time machine, who votes ‘Hendrix concert’ and who votes ‘Nazi occupied Czechoslovakia’?”

Even though everyone knows what life was like in that particular place and time — to wit, super horrible — that hasn’t stopped those paragons of taste, reality TV producers, from bringing us The Real World: Nazi Europe. It was actually a short-lived series in the Czech Republic called, for serious, Holiday In The Protectorate. There was no time travel involved, just a modern family shut in a house with little food and period-appropriate accommodations while fake Nazi soldiers prowled outside, because they had a really weird idea of leisure.

“You have your Survivor, we have ours.”

The global Jewish community wasn’t impressed, namely because of one tiny anachronism that the director, whose stated goal was “to show life in another era while ensuring the highest level of authenticity,” had absentmindedly overlooked: The very real threat of death, which claimed 82,309 Czech Jews. The greatest danger faced by this family, on the other hand, was a falling stage light. Luckily, that means there was an easy way for the producers to make everyone happy: Just abduct one member of the household every week, never to be seen by their family again. For some reason, they went in a different direction.

#1. 9/11 And Trayvon Martin VR Games

It’s not a mind-blowing revelation that people like to play video games to live out fantasies, the most famous of which is pretending to be an Italian man who’s addicted to psilocybin and tortoise murder. There are also all kinds of Counter-Strike maps that allow you to play out real events, like the Boston Bombing and the standoff at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge. They’re taking some pretty massive liberties with the facts, however. For example, the setup for the wildlife refuge includes fictional hostages the terrorists never took.

Apparently, long diatribes about the Bureau of Land Management don’t really work in a first-person shooter.

We already base most of our shoot-’em-up games on real wars and the like, so that’s only slightly below par for the course. Then there’s the 9/11 virtual reality game.

The plot? You’re not making a mad dash for survival. In fact, not dying isn’t even an option. You start out in an office in the North Tower, where you receive a few commands to fetch files for your boss and things like that, but once the first plane strikes, you just go where the game takes you. Where it takes you, in fact, is to the office of a stranger who quickly becomes so distraught that he jumps out the window. Then you watch your boss call her mom to say goodbye before you both suffocate from the smoke.

That’s it. Just 10 minutes of watching people cry, and then you die. It’s bleak as shit.

In terms of sheer pointlessness, though, the winner is — no, seriously — the VR reenactment of the shooting of Trayvon Martin. The experience is reconstructed from the 911 calls placed by George Zimmerman and, later, members of the community from inside their homes. So that’s the viewpoint we take. It’s literally just a bunch of people on the phone in their living rooms. We never see or hear anything of the actual shooting except for a flash of gunfire and the boy’s real screams for help. The designers insist that reenactments like these could be helpful to investigators, but failed to explain how animated phone calls starring the goddamn Sims tells anybody anything.

“We didn’t see anything because we were drowning our kids in the pool.”

Ready to learn about some more incredibly dickish people? Then check out The 8 Most Shameless Attempts to Cash In On 9/11 and The 6 Most Clueless Assholes To Ever Exploit Tragedies.

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/11/5-terrible-tragedies-exploited-by-cash-obsessed-a-holes/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/09/5-terrible-tragedies-exploited-by-cash.html