#cradlerobber au

[sssilverstoned]

memory lane ꩜ ln4

type: instagram/twitter au

A trip through time as everyone's favorite kids in love grew up.

lily said: back to back ahhhh! hopefully part three tomorrow. wanting to get this out asap bc I’ve been stewing over posting for so long! glad you all enjoy :)

also, i think I’ll be opening requests soon, but please feel free to inbox me anything you’d be interested in seeing <3

part 1

Liked by yourbestfriend, yourusername, and 32,619 others

landonorris Happy birthday y/n! #19

maxfewtrell Happy birthday y/n/n!

yourusername thank yaaaa maxy!

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Liked by yourbestfriend, maxfewtrell, and 93,679 others

yourusername Happy birthday Lando! Welcome to 19 :)

yourbestfriend Dawwww so cute

landonorris Thank you! Love you old lady

yourbestfriend it's only 8 months difference between you two????? yourusername he's so annoying landonorris hey. It's my birthday

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Liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo, and 300,991 others

landonorris y/n's sleeping through her 20th birthday so I'm here to post about it in case she misses it.

user1 long neck ass

user2 facts. but hbd y/n 💯

danielricciardo quite the angle here, how long is your arm?

yourbestfriend Slaying while sleeping, love her

yourusername I try

yourusername: So this is how we're doing 20?

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Liked by kaiagerber, romeobeckham, and 688,142 others

user1 BAHAHAHA is this payback from your birthday??

user2 omg they're so aggravating 😭 favs fr user3 posting this with absolutely no caption on his bday is so funny

yourbestfriend the biggest little shit to ever walk the earth

landonorris aw thanks for the birthday wish x

landonorris: Love you too baby

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Liked by pierregasly, danielricciardo, and 411,997 others

landonorris Happy 21 my love! Wait for me so we can club together in NYC finally like we always said #cradlerobber

user1 CRADLE ROBBER

yourusername The club awaits!

carlossainz55 happy birthday y/n/n!

yourusername thank you carlosssssss! landonorris too many s's for my liking

yourbestfriend wait is this in my house??

yourusername nothings broken. trust

user2 this photo is so chaotic

user3 him constantly calling her old like SIR

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Liked by kendalljenner, lewishamilton, and 700,817 others

yourusername Cheers baby! 21 21 21

landonorris Head's spinning still

yourusername So I'm "old" AND I hold liquor better? Pick a struggle

maxfewtrell Mate she's winning this round landonorris Always does

user1 oh this is cuteeee

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Liked by pierregasly, alex_albon, and 800,131 others

landonorris 22. Hope it's the best one yet

user1 so cozy so domestic omg

user2 dating for 3 years, 30 years, same thing

user3 awwww he's wearing the bracelets she made him for their anni

yourusername Lovessss ya

yourusername Was very surprised I will admit you got me good

user4 THIS WAS A SURPRISE? user5 This man flew across the globe so he wouldn't miss her birthday...my word

charles_leclerc: He almost missed his plane back btw

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Liked by lirisaw, yourbestfriend, and 900,878 others

yourusername Scorpios, you've got to love them #22 #CradleHasBeenRobbed

user1 color coordinated suits...every post you make me even more bitter

user2 the loving look in their eyes...can't wait for the 79th bday posts

user3 right im here for the long haul!

lilymhe you all will never stop this joke

yourusername he started it!! lilymhe and yet you have not ended it landonorris she's older than me, this is a fact

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[nevertheless-moving]

My actual point writing this here is that a year into the war when Obi-Wan (36) starts really bonding with Cody (14/28) he feels super weird about it on a bunch of levels because its Cody who’s loyal and hot and smart but does this make Obi-Wan a creep? Or is it more offensive not to sleep with him? (Not to mention it’s easier to think about consent in terms of numbers then the insane command structure and slavery thing because they’ve got a pretty healthy relationship all things considered and he’s already promoting the man as fast as possible anyway but clones have no legal rights) 

Obi-Wan sleeps around with various terrible choices, sexual tension builds. FINALLY after two years of war they get stuck in a cave, naturally huddle for warmth, things escalate positively and Obi-Wan’s like WAIT I CAN’T

There’s some horny exasperation, but they care about each other, and don’t want to sour what they have with regrets. Eventually Cody (15/30 at cave time) and Obi-Wan agree to wait another 3 years so they’ll both be at the legal human age of consent and the age difference will drop to just 4 years. By then the war will be over anyway, right? So the whole jedis-own-the-clones thing that’s really underneath all this will HAVE to be resolved. 

They spend the rest of the night cuddling with uncomfortable boners.

Another year passes. Lots of longing glances, lingering hand touches, tender bandaging of wounds, suggestive lightsaber holds...you know. YOU  K N O W. Plus a little private teasing about the jailbait thing because they’re literally running a war together

Order 66. 

When asked, CC-2224 can’t believe he ever considered himself close to a traitor. He doesn’t think about it the rest of the time. 

Obi-Wan has plenty of regrets. This is probably the easiest one to bear, and the only one that makes him smile to think of.

Things could have been left at that, but once Fulcrum disseminates the knowledge on exactly why the clones turned, a number of early rebellion task-forces dedicate themselves to de-chipping/disabling the chips. Beyond the whole sentient rights thing, its good tactical sense. They’re a well placed MAJOR military asset that could quickly start providing immediate returns if suborned. Worst case you’ve just activated a number of extremely effective suicide bombers

It takes over a year and a lot of good men die, but a desperate rebel cell manages to infiltrate purge trooper barracks. They go undiscovered just long enough to plant a few extremely well-calibrated electrical devices. Bomb sweep fails to register them. The whole terrorist group is wiped out of course, but the EMPs activate overnight as planned. Massive damage to Imperial Military resources and overly hasty brain surgery follows.

Like I said, a lot of good men die. 

But Cody, now that his head is more or less his own, has a little more hope than the average CC (not a lot, but enough to stave off going out in a blaze of glory). General Kenobi’s body was never found after all. He knows- he looked.

He quickly joins up with the Onderran campaign- he can’t go on many imperial raids- he understands that his brothers would rather die than live as they are but that doesn’t mean he can pull the trigger. But black ops? yeah. Rumour is they’ve even got a Jedi on the next mission- he’d be irritated at the bad operational security but that specific rumour passes around so often its essentially useless to spies anyway.

Team members are independently directed to assemble at a safe house, their arrivals deliberately staggered. Cody steals and ditches two different ships, not to mention spends a week in a sewer, before finally arriving. Organa himself had stressed that one of the crew is taking time off of a top-secret long-term protection detail for this and no chances are to be taken with being tracked. 

He arrives late at night, with two days left to spare.

Two unknown near-human fighters (Guerra trained by the looks), a Mon-Calamari smuggler, and a Gand mercenary who he’s fairly confident used to work for the separatists greet him cordially enough at entry; his reputation proceeds him. If anything, the former Marshall Commander of the 7th Sky Corps is overqualified for this sort of mission. He’s vaguely pleased to find another trooper present- a heavily scarred arc commando wearing 187th colors. The commando is actually smiling, seated across from and deep into conversation with a robed figure,

Cody’s heart jumps to his throat. Their conversation halts. Everyone watches. And General Kenobi slowly turns to face him. The air’s too heavy with tension for the others to think about leaving discretely, even if they were willing (the chips are a poorly-understood open secret at this point, and the five bystanders are well trained enough to brace themselves for the worst case reunion).

“Cody,” Obi-Wan says softly. “It’s good to see you.” 

The Jedi looks terrible. In the two and a half years since the end of the war and the start of the empire, the man seems to have aged faster than a botched clone. 

He’s using his stupid earnest voice where he means what he’s saying and its important that Cody know that. Like he’s actually, truly happy to see Cody even after what the clones did to their Jedi. Even after what Cody tried to do to Obi-Wan. Cody’s had plenty of time to think of what he might say if he ever saw the man again, but he hadn’t used it- it was too painful to imagine anything personal anymore. What apology could be enough? What right did he have to express grief in the face of Obi-Wan’s unfathomable loss? To Cody’s absolute horror, what comes out his mouth is

"I’m not jailbait anymore, you know.”

The words hang in the air, and Cody is now ready to die. Maybe if he moves suddenly enough one of their captive audience members will reflexively shoot him. 

Sure, after their long talk in that cave, Cody had spent an unhealthy amount of time daydreaming variations on ‘I’m a real man now we gonna fuck or what’

but that was before he became a kriffing PURGE TROOPER what the actual hells was wrong with his brain 

Obi-Wan...Obi-Wan blinks rapidly. Then grins. It was honest delight mixed with Negotiator smarm crossed with an about-to-get-laid-leer.

Cody’s heart starts back up with a vengeance.

“I’m afraid I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about it,” Obi-Wan drawls. He shifts in his seat, straightening from a weary hunch to lean back cockily, hands behind his head and legs spreading even wider than their customary sprawl. 

“Oh, did I miss your 18th decant day? I’m ever so sorry my dear, I do hope I can make it up to you somehow. Incidentally, have I ever mentioned that contrary to popular opinion, the Jedi Code doesn’t actually require celibacy?”

Cody let out a strangled noise at the pickup line that had, almost impressively, become even less tasteful since the last time he heard it. He must have moved forward somehow, because the next thing he knew the General’s chair was toppling back and his legs were wrapped around the Jedi’s waist and Obi-Wan’s tongue was doing incredible things to the inside of his mouth. There's a sense of hasty movement, the slam of a door, then a bed.

-

The next morning, Cody stares intently at the briefing’s logistical diagrams, carefully avoiding everyone else’s eyes. There was next-to-no-chance that their moaning and thudding had gone unheard. But they were all professionals, not to mention used to people letting off tension in high stress environments.

He does, however, desperately hope that everyone somehow missed the hours of incoherent crying that interrupted and followed otherwise fantastic sex. 

Plans are finalized, weapons are loaded, and comms are distributed. Two more rebels arrive. Pre-mission banter stays fairly tame, even after claiming one of the two bedrooms for themselves for a second and not significantly quieter night.

All things considered, when it comes time to establish operational codes, they don’t really have it in them to put up a fight against their unanimously designated callsigns.

They are a little less gracious on future missions when the code names repeatedly return.

 Nearly two decades later, at the physical ages of 72 and 58 respectively, Cody and Obi-Wan have more or less resigned themselves to being officially introduced as 'jailbait’ and ‘cradlerobber.’ 

[alifeasvivid]

Spoof idea on the student/teacher AU: Arthur is a university professor and his younger-than-Arthur-but-not-that-much-younger husband is a gorgeous, baby-faced adult who dresses like a college student. When one of Arthur’s students finds a photo on social media showing Arthur making out with a young man wearing a university hoodie (Arthur gets free uni swag and he hates hoodies so he always requests Alfred’s size and who, really, is Alfred to say no to a free, high quality hoodie???) it goes VIRAL on campus and everyone’s trying to figure out which student Dr. Kirkland is fucking and some might even ask him about it and Arthur is sleep deprived from working on his book and he is just *SO* confused and the Dean is Concerned™ but not sure what to say anyway eventually Alfred finds a tiktok about it and stitches it just cackling until he cries for a solid two minutes before holding up his left hand to show off his ring “I’m twenty-fucking-eight oh god I’m never letting him live this down Jesus chRIST my face hurts my stomach hurts I can’t- a STUDENT- hey! Honey! Babe, your English 406 kids think I look 19, you fucking cradle robber!”

It's like if HBO did a Disney Channel original movie. ANON YOU ARE SENDING ME

I love this!!!

[nevertheless-moving]

Ey you know that scene at the beginning of this au where Cody and Obi-Wan almost have sex but decide to wait until they’re older and cuddle with uncomfortable boners instead? I wrote that scene. Rated E.

[uchihasavior]

Do you see the post war konoha as more accepting of same sex couples? Would this Itachi be able to come out?

[[ Unfortunately, no, I don’t, since post war Konoha did the expected thing to do after a war and had a baby boom. I imagine Sasuke personally wouldn’t care about Itachi’s orientation, but that’s not to say the rest of the village would accept him. He’d just end up keeping it a secret, but thankfully be under no harsh pressure to marry, just normal societal pressure (like well meaning comments about finding a girl and settling down, etc.) ]]

[uchihasavior]

well if you have more details about the au, please do bring them all forward

[[ Cradle Robber AU ]]

Sasuke doesn’t do it silently. He picked a general location in time, but not an exact date. He didn’t care much for being too stealthy, and by the time he reached Itachi’s room, he’d woken Mikoto up, who woke Fugaku up.

They found him in the room. This tall, cloaked figure, holding their little 8 month old, who’d never cried and still wasn’t crying. 

Mikoto’s pleas for the stranger to release their son safely fell on deaf ears, and Fugaku fell by the Mangekyo Sharingan when he went in on the offensive.

The last words he left them with were “You don’t deserve him.”

Sarada’s 4 by this time. Sasuke has to do a late night run for formula, bottles, and diapers in a small neighboring village before he returns to Konoha. 

While Sakura does come to accept him, she worries for weeks that Sasuke was seeing someone else, and this is the result. Each time she gets the same answer. “He’s Itachi.” It takes her months to realize Sasuke literally means it. He’s Itachi.

Naruto takes two days to put two and two together. Sakura clearly wasn’t pregnant, and he is well aware of how obsessed over Itachi Sasuke is. Kurama senses the same chakra. He freaks about the disruptions it would cause to the timeline he was pulled from, but Sasuke just tells him he’d be better off dead. Naruto doesn’t bring it up anymore.

Kakashi’s disapproval is all with expressions. Never says a word to him. It’s not like he considered Sasuke trustworthy or particularly close to him anymore.(thanks, Kakashi Hiden.)

Kabuto also recognizes the chakra, but his disapproval is only temporary. Another chance to make it up to the Itachi that saved him.

Itachi grows up with a supportive family, and a ‘Father’ who pays attention to him and spends just a little less time traveling to make sure Itachi isn’t neglected. Always a boy that’s eager to please, Itachi fully understands when Sasuke says he can’t be here all the time. 

Itachi still picks up being a shinobi easily, and shows his talent. It worries Sakura (who still unfortunately doesn’t know the truth), but Sasuke guides him. Sasuke also tells him there’s no real pressure to be a shinobi, and that he can quit anytime he wants.

Sometimes people make jokes that Itachi is “prettier” than Sarada is. 

Naruto casually jokes that Itachi could be Hokage some day. He begins to think about it seriously. Sasuke gets really pensive when Itachi mentions he might want to be Hokage. It should be someone like him who is Hokage.

Itachi never awakens the Sharingan. Sasuke is glad he never has to see red in those eyes again.