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snowbellewells · 7 years ago

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A Fic-aversary and an Apology

Okay, folks, I really hate to do this (and have tried really hard not to up until now) but I am going to have to skip a week on my CSSNS MC “Run to Me (in the Dead of Night)”. I’ve been really busy with my job, plus lots of crammed weekends running here and there where I didn’t have time to grade or write. Then, I started feeling like where I was going in chapter ten and on from there needed to deviate from my initial plan, and it just wasn’t going to happen in two days’ time. I’ve been a couple days late the last two weeks and then it’s even less time to get the next one written, and so on. So, I really apologize and don’t mean to keep you waiting too long, but it will be next Friday before I have chapter ten for you. What I do have instead is a fic I wrote about a year and a half ago, before I was terribly good at posting on Tumblr that I’m bringing back for a bit of an anniversary. It’s near and dear to my heart, and I would love for more folks to see it.

Most importantly: It has gorgeous cover art now, which I am just in love with, made for me by @hollyethecurious !! She really made it more beautiful and eye-catching.

Anyway, to tide you over until next week (and I hope to also FINALLY update my CSRomCom au again this weekend as well) enjoy “Looking for a Heart (that’s not Walking Away)”!!!

(Liam x Belle multichapter fic, canon divergent from about 5x15/5x16)

(This one was a completely new and different fic attempt for me. Not only does it go AU from about the middle of 5b, but it changes a lot of what happened with Liam in 5x15, and while some of 5x16 and 5x17 happened, some of it didn’t. Beyond all that, it’s putting a large focus on characters I haven’t written much before, and one that we really haven’t seen a lot of to characterize in the same way that I can work with say Emma and Killian. Still, I couldn’t get the idea out of my head, and finally found that I had to give this a try. It doesn’t explain how everything happened right away, but events will be filled in as the story progresses. I feel like this is a bit of a mix between canon divergence and AU. Slow burn friendship/relationship for Belle and Liam; sideline CS and others. I definitely don’t own them, just having fun imagining. I’d love to hear what you think!!)

*I will also attempt to add ff.net links to the rest of the chapters at the end...

“Looking for a Heart that’s Not Walking Away”

chapter one: like ships in the night

In the wee, cold hours of the morning, anyone walking Storybrooke’s town square would have seen only peaceful, vacant storefronts and the dim stillness of a little hamlet still fast asleep; or they would until they reached the library and found one solitary light burning stubbornly in the back of the building. Most residents and visitors knew the building and the sweet, brunette librarian who kept the place with pride, but even without the whole story, they also knew she had not been the same since her return from the Underworld with the rest of the heroes. The light burning in the middle of the night, and the large, dark circles under the clearly sleepless woman’s eyes when one saw her in Granny’s Diner the next morning picking listlessly at her pancakes and syrup, were only outward signs of her inner turmoil and pain.

This particular night turned earliest bit of morning, Belle Gold sat at the circulation desk, a cup of lavender tea, which she had hoped would soothe her and induce sleep, long gone cold at her elbow, and a large, gilt-edged book open before her. In her insomnolent state, she had returned to this once-favorite story for help, but instead she found herself wishing to violently rip the pages from its spine, more troubled than ever as she huddled on the high stool pulled up to the counter to perch on as she read and wrapped her dressing gown more tightly around herself against the now-familiar questions swirling in her mind: ‘What did I ever see in this story?’ ‘How stupid could I have been?’ ‘What ever made me think I could influence anyone or be a hero?’ ‘Every attempt I’ve ever made went wrong and only made things worse…’

Shivering against the drafts of a still-chilly April night and the cold certainty that she was nothing but a fraud; so naively convinced of her pretty ideals but completely ineffectual at doing anything with them when the moment of truth had come, Belle knew rest and peace were far from coming. A tear ran silently down her pale cheek as she thought of all that had happened – the tangled, progressively darker events which made up her own story – and she sucked in a ragged breath, trying to keep it from turning into the wrenching full-bodied sob she felt rising within her. Though she had fought so valiantly hard, it would seem her tale could not possibly end in happily ever after now. All her efforts at love and bravery – at goodness – had turned to dust in her hands, crumbling like the shriveled brown flower Hades had used to taunt her after Gaston’s fall into the River of Lost Souls.

The only thing keeping her from falling apart completely, she thought ruefully as one small, graceful hand lowered to rest protectively on her slightly protruding belly was the tiny being she had wished for so long. This baby should have been a lovely, innocent symbol of her and Rumple’s love, a living hope and second chance – for her husband, and for herself – and now Rumple would never even know his second born child. Though Belle was not sure what she had left to give this unborn babe, her hope and belief nearly dried up and vanished forever, its growth inside her was what kept her from lying down on the floor of her precious library and never rising again. All of her gumption, her resolve, her joy, were gone, deserting her as completely as they had ever filled her before, and the fact that her child would need her was all to which she could truly cling.

Eventually, just as the dark night turned early morning and lightened to grey, and the faintest traces of sunrise began to streak the sky, Belle’s head lowered, the side of her face coming to rest on the printed page of the book she had so loved once upon a time, her impossible, idealized version of a hero pressed to the soft, pale skin of her cheek as she slumped over the counter in a restless sleep…

As she dreams, she is once more in the Underworld, brought by the man she has tried so hard to win back from the Beast within – the pressing roar in his ear of magic and power – the man who, despite it all, she has never ceased loving, to the very throne of the Lord of the Dead. Rumple’s hand clenches her forearm so tightly it hurts, and she realizes with stark clarity that even the Dark One is no match for a deity. Rumple is sorely afraid, though he doesn’t let his outward appearance show it.

From there, the moments progress like an inexorable nightmare. So soon after her inadvertent actions against Gaston, things already seem hazy and unreal; she can barely comprehend the showdown forming between her husband and Hades. Fire and light shoot back and forth, crashing against one another in the middle and neither attack striking its intended target.

Winded, panting, nearly falling to his knees with exhaustion, Rumple finally raises a hand in surrender, as she runs to support him and help him back up, seeing the drained former spinner without his precious might and the upper hand. Putting a bracing hand beneath his elbow, she steadies Rumple as he stands once more and intends to do so as he moves forward, until he turns to her, bringing them to a halt.

Meeting Belle’s eyes in that moment, Rumplestiltskin’s gaze shows pain and infinite regret; only somewhere beneath those emotions is the love lingering for her, love that she had always wanted to believe would triumph over the Dark One’s lies. “I am so sorry, Belle. For so many things…” he whispers brokenly, the back of his hand stroking her cheek as lightly as the mere brush of air in a breath, as if hesitant to hurt her more than he has already. “I have put you through more pain than any love should have to bear…only to have it all come to this in the end.”

Pulling his gaze away from her face, Belle sees her husband’s eyes slide back to meet the god’s controlled, implacable stare and subtly shifts forward to stand in front of her, partially shielding her from Hades’ view. Her heart is swept up in pride for him at this moment of real, selfless bravery, even as it then breaks when his next words sink in. “Very well, Hades,” Rumplestiltskin hisses, sounding as reptilian and menacing as Killian has always insisted, his sharp eyes flashing even as he concedes. “You know that I cannot best you, but with the powers of the Dark One and its immortality, you cannot end me either. Let Belle and our child go, and I will serve you by finding you a replacement soul, one that will prove much more satisfactory than a mere infant.”

The silent air crackles around them, and Belle opens her mouth to cry out, “Rumple, no!” and pull him back, both terrified at what the Lord of the Underworld might do, and horrified anew that Rumple could once more offer up another person’s soul as if it were his to barter, even as she had thought for once he was making a heroic sacrifice. But she feels his fingers curl around her even more firmly, and a tingle runs up her whole arm, holding her in place, words bottled in her throat no matter how she tries to force them out, until she realizes that Rumple is using his magic to hold her back and keep her silent. Emotions rise in a confusing swirl, and Belle is not sure if she is moved by his desperate bid to protect her or impotently furious at his overriding her free will.

Hades tilts his head to the side, coming closer as he studies his nemesis calculatingly. “Let me see,” he mused, wearing a face that gives the sense of bored unconcern, even Belle with no magic or powers beyond human intuition knows the god is toying with his prey – if pressed, she has seen much the same look on Rumple’s face too many times as the Dark One. “An intriguing proposition,” he drawls out the words slowly, as if tasting the flavor of some delicacy on his tongue, “…but do I believe you?”

“You would do well to take me seriously,” Rumple vows, iron in his voice and threat on his tongue. “I may not win, but you will be battling me until the judgment day, neither of us able either to triumph or to pass on.” He steps forward as well, standing taller with a hint of the malice that shows at the heights of his power, limp nearly unnoticeable as he meets Hades and reaches out his hand. “You want to take this deal, trust me,” Rumplestiltskin asserts, nearly baring his teeth as he does so. “I will be your right hand, Hades – if you spare my wife and my unborn child, never to trouble them again.”

Hades tilts his head, studying the Dark One with amused curiosity as if he is some new species the deity has never seen before. “I’d be a fool to trust you for even a moment,” he replies coolly, “and I know you will only serve me as long as it takes you to find an escape. Yet…” he takes a moment to muse as if there is no trouble or threat at all, Belle resenting all the while that he can balance all their lives in his hands while appearing not to have a care in the world. Finally, he gives a quick, decisive nod, his pondering resolved. “If I’ve already gotten what I need from you by then, why shouldn’t I be free of your tiresome, disloyal presence?”

Belle is sure there is some horrible drawback, some hideous fine print somewhere which has been missed – added to the fact that Rumple is bartering someone else’s soul for their safety – and she hates being forced to stand idly by, no one paying her any mind. Her husband moves to shake the god’s hand, and she begs silently, regardless of whether either of them can hear, “No, Rumple, please don’t do this! There must be a better way!”

Without deviating from his original intent, Rumplestiltskin leans even more toward the Lord of the Dead, not allowing himself so much as a glance at her, solely focusing on Hades, alert for any move or threat from his dangerous adversary. Their hands meet in between, as if to shake on the arrangement, and a burst of magical power so ground shaking shoots out sparks, tossing both Hades and Rumple apart. It topples Belle to the ground, momentarily blinded by the white hot flash and breathless from the impact, her awareness shattered. For a time, she knows no more, and when she comes back to herself, she is lying on the moving floor of the library elevator they had taken down to Hades’ inner sanctum, and the door is sliding open to reveal the Underworld’s version of her beloved haunt. As the lift reaches the top and halts, Belle sees that she is also utterly alone…

A few scratching sounds and a thump against the outer door of the Storybrooke Library, followed by the sound of something metal picking at the lock, the doorknob rattling, and an accented male voice calling her name hopefully, before the tell-tale sound of the lock clicking free, awakens her just a couple of hours later, still early morning, but light now. She hears the sound of more than one pair of booted feet striding toward her as she blinks dazedly and surfaces from the flashback-dream and her tormented rest. Shooting upright quickly, hoping they haven’t seen her pathetically asleep where she fell, Belle nearly loses her balance and topples off the stool she’d been perched on. Wincing at the pain in her lower back from sleeping in such an awkward position, Belle tiredly rubs her eyes and tries to focus on her early visitors.

Only a second later, she registers Killian Jones’ voice jovially greeting her as he walks toward her across the open entryway and also hears the low, warm chuckle behind him from Liam, his revived older brother. She had been introduced to him as they were all working together to leave the Underworld, but she has not had much occasion to be around him since, and so she is surprised by his seemingly easy good humor, and the sparkle in his eyes that much resembles the one she’s often seen in Killian as they’ve researched some Big Bad threatening the town or discussed favorite books over lunch.

Startled, she lets hesitant brown eyes come to meet his friendly, open gaze and gives what she hopes is a welcoming smile as she teases Killian in hopes of keeping his usual perceptiveness from picking up on her disheveled, unhappy state. “What brings the Jones brothers to my library at the crack of dawn?”

Killian flashes her a devious wink, before nodding his head to her briefly in a playfully slight bow, “Ah, but wouldn’t you like to know, Lass?” he teases. His voice is bright and jovial, and there is a happy twinkle in his ocean-blue gaze that has been absent in many instances where she has seen him appear dazed or haunted since his return to life and the world above. She simply has to return the mischievous grin – happy for this former enemy who has become a true friend, proud of him (though it may not be her place) that he has found the strength Rumple never quite mustered to change for the better, make right the wrongs within his power to mend, and became the man he was always meant to be.

Tilting her head to study both of the men before her with friendly curiosity, she begins checking in the small stack of books Killian has carried in with him to return. Liam meets her eyes but doesn’t speak, his smile warm and friendly, but his general bearing more restrained than his younger brother’s. They certainly resemble each other – well-formed, strong features, straight noses and piercing eyes – but Liam is a bit taller, slightly broader of shoulder, and with fairer hair beginning to grow out enough to show curls that Killian’s straight, dark, shaggy locks don’t possess.

Deciding to get to know the intriguing man before her a bit better, Belle chooses to ignore Killian’s baiting and glances at his older brother from beneath lowered lashes. “And what about you?” she asks softly, “Do you enjoy reading as much as Killian does?” For some reason she has to fight a tremor in her voice as the words leave her mouth, and a thrill of nervous awareness racing up her spine as Liam Jones’ lips angle up into a fuller smile.

“Aye, Mrs. Gold, I do indeed,” he replies, with a succinct, definite nod of his head as he steps closer, right up to the counter of the circulation desk between them, while Killian wanders away into the stacks to look for new volumes. “We share our love of the written word, ever since I first taught him to read when we were boys, though Killian has always tended more toward daring adventure tales, epic fantasy and the like. I’m a bit of a history buff myself – love learning how kingdoms rise and fall and how leaders are formed. There is much to garner from such real events that have come before.”

Belle bobs her head in an excited nod, warming to the topic as she leans over the counter, absorbed by his words in spite of herself and forgetting the pain and confusion of the dream vision to a more pleasant topic. “I know exactly what you mean! There are so many good records, biographies, accounts of battles, journeys, and expeditions – it’s amazing to learn what that must have been like, to imagine traveling alongside such great adventurers when such momentous enterprises were being undertaken.” She pauses to draw in a breath, having begun to speak quickly in her excitement. Amusement shines in the look Liam Jones levels at her across the desk, but understanding and a sort of relief that intrigues her glows from his expression to warm her as well.

Belle makes an impulsive decision in that moment, wanting to share something she still loves and finds joy in with someone else who has weathered and survived much and clearly loves it too. Moving to stand quickly, with the intent to take Killian’s brother to their nonfiction section and show him some of her favorite tomes, Belle forgets for a moment how much her subtly widening stomach throws her off balance and pitches forward as she slips off the stool, then cries out softly as overcorrecting to catch herself pulls at her back painfully.

Liam is around the counter and at her side in an instant, one hand on her arm to steady her, the other coming to rest at her waist. “Steady on, Lass. Easy there,” he murmurs with soothing concern.

Killian darts back out from where he’d ventured, good arm full of novels and brows pinched together with worry. “What is it? What’s wrong?” he asks.

Belle shakes her head, offering Liam a grateful smile, even as she blushes in embarrassment and also feels warmth flood her at his contact with her body. She tries to calm both of them – conscientious, old-fashioned, chivalrous gentleman through and through – and step away. “N-nothing. I’m fine. Just lost my balance is all. …Th-thank you though, Captain Jones,” she adds sincerely to Liam. Unthinkingly, she raises her hand to her neck which feels cramped and stiff as well, wincing slightly before she even realizes.

Killian, observant as ever and an especially intuitive friend when it comes to her, notices her moving gingerly and guesses at her sleeplessness, speaking gently as he touches his metal appendage to her shoulder and impels her to look back up at him simultaneously. “Still not resting, Love?” he asks, already seeming assured of the answer. “You’ve been sitting at that counter all night, haven’t you?”

Sheepishly, the tiny brunette dips her chin to her chest in the slightest of nods, feeling even smaller under the concerned scrutiny of these two tall, strong former naval officers. It isn’t worth denying the fact; Killian already knows the truth. She had confided in him long ago, even before their trip to Camelot, her sleeplessness from a broken heart. He is certainly astute enough to realize that the organ is now only more broken.

What startles her however, is his proper older brother’s reaction. In interactions, Liam has always been friendly but reserved; now, he ushers her forward, an arm coming around her waist to guide her toward the reading lounge she has set up by the windows and into an overstuffed, comfortable chair. “Milady Belle, sit, please. You’re with child. You must take care of yourself.”

She doesn’t fight him, letting him lead her to the seat and settling into it with an actual sigh of relief. And he surprises her again by kneeling before her and grasping her delicate hand in his much larger one, enveloping it completely. There is an open, earnest look on his face that both soothes and puzzles her as he gazes up into her face and asks her if there is aught else they can do or fetch for her.

Liam himself doesn’t understand what has come over him as he looks up into the weary, hurting face of this lovely but lonely young woman. All he is certain of – and he knows he will speak to Killian about why she isn’t sleeping, what she has been through – is the concern for her he feels. He wants to find out why she is so sad, and to find a way to make it better. His resolve is firm, even if not fully understood, and he senses the beginning of a new mission, a new adventure.

Link to Chapter Two: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12138837/2/Looking-for-a-Heart-that-s-not-Walking-Away

Chapter Three: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12138837/3/Looking-for-a-Heart-that-s-not-Walking-Away

Chapter Four: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12138837/4/Looking-for-a-Heart-that-s-not-Walking-Away

Chapter Five: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12138837/5/Looking-for-a-Heart-that-s-not-Walking-Away

Chapter Six: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12138837/6/Looking-for-a-Heart-that-s-not-Walking-Away

Chapter Seven: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12138837/7/Looking-for-a-Heart-that-s-not-Walking-Away

Chapter Eight: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12138837/8/Looking-for-a-Heart-that-s-not-Walking-Away

Chapter Nine: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12138837/9/Looking-for-a-Heart-that-s-not-Walking-Away

Chapter Ten (Epilogue): https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12138837/10/Looking-for-a-Heart-that-s-not-Walking-Away

Tagging a few who may enjoy (sorry if not, or if you’ve already read it, but thought even previous readers might want to see its new art! ;) : @kmomof4 @searchingwardrobes @winterbaby89 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @effulgentcolors @aloha-4-ever @winterbythesea @hollyethecurious @laschatzi @jennjenn615 @therooksshiningknight @ohmakemeahercules @shireness-says @resident-of-storybrooke @spartanguard @revanmeetra87 @teamhook @vvbooklady1256 @xemmaloveskillianx

#ouat ff #liam x belle ff #ouat au mc #5b canon divergence fic #cs supporting ship ff #chapter one #anniversary repost #now with fic art

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sailtoafarawayland · 4 years ago

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Walk Me Through The Dark (1/1) Alpha/Omega one-shot

Summary: There are no guarantees that life will be easy or happy, but Emma had finally found all that and more in the form of Killian Jones, her best friend, her alpha and mate. She’d forgotten what it was to fear, to run, to have the hope knocked from her body, but she’s about to remember, and so is he.

Rating: Explicit, read through A/N for trigger warnings, or skip to after the cut for spoiler-free

A big thank you to @the-darkdragonfly for beta reading and supporting this story!

AO3 or FF

Author’s Note: This is a hurt/comfort omegaverse based fic for CS. It is rated E for a reason. Tags/Trigger Warnings are as follows: Attempted rape/non-con, Attempted Sexual Assault, Heavy Angst, Sexual Assault Recovery

-Walk Me Through The Dark-

Emma hung onto the rail above her as the subway lurched into motion, her long curls falling around her face and giving some sense of privacy in the crowded car. She stared down at the screen on her phone, a soft smile on her face. Tapping a quick reply to Mary Margaret with one finger, she swiped back to the previous screen, selecting Killian's name and letting go of her hold on the rail so she could send him a message. The train swayed and she widened her stance, regaining her balance. Her stomach churned slightly at the motion and she frowned. She shouldn't have eaten the curry from the food truck for lunch, it never sat well.

She tapped send and reached for the support of the rail again.

E: What are you doing for dinner, babe?

Her eyes traveled the length of the car as she waited for his response. He'd mentioned earlier that his latest overhaul may keep him at the ship yard for some late nights, but the picture Mary Margaret had sent – something simmering in red sauce with a crispy layer of cheese – left her wondering what her mate would be doing to feed himself that evening.

Her cell vibrated in her hand.

K: If I'm lucky, there will be some takeaway left in the work fridge, though I'd much rather be enjoying the evening with you, love.

Heat rushed into her cheeks as she read his words, the echo of his voice in her head. He loved his work at the ship yard, and though it had taken her a long time to realize the sincerity of his words, she knew now just how much truth was in them. Despite having a job that he'd long dreamed about, his favorite place to be was always at her side. The way he made her feel, loved and wanted, was a far cry from how she'd felt her entire childhood into her adult life.

E: I miss you too. Don't forget there's leftover alfredo at home, if you end up not staying too late.

E: Looks like MM is making lasagna.

Their apartment wasn't too far from his office, and she hoped the idea of fresh food would lure him away from whatever dried out leavings had been abandoned by his coworkers.

K: Both of those sound very tempting at the moment. Give MM and David my love.

Emma smiled and slipped her phone back into her pocket, settling in for the rest of the ride out to the Nolan's. Friday night dinners had become something of a tradition between the four friends, but things had been so overwhelming at the ship yard lately that Killian missed them more often than he liked. Luckily, his latest overhaul was coming to an end soon, and they were both hoping things would be a bit more manageable.

The car rocked again and Emma swallowed, a sudden wave of nausea creeping up her throat as they moved, something about the steady creaking of the wheels and the sway of the train making her feel sick. Honestly, that was the last time she went with spicy food, it always made her feel off, despite how delicious it was. She closed her eyes and wrapped her fingers, sweat beginning to dampen her palm, more tightly around the rail, wishing she were anywhere else as the nausea worsened, her stomach churning and cramping. A tingling warmth worked its way up through her body, spreading along her arms and legs. Another cramp twisted deep in her abdomen, and that's when it hit her.

Her heat was coming on early.

Panic surged beneath the burning heat and nausea as she sucked in a deep breath. It was too early, by a week and a half at least. She would have never dared take public transit if she thought there was even a chance...and now she was stuck on the T with a crammed car. Her eyes darted to the digital map above the door, the light that indicated their position creeping along slowly to North Quincy station. They were only a quarter of the way along, and she cursed her luck.

The doctor had warned her more than once that she could end up suffering from unmanageable heats down the road due to her early use of suppressants, but so far she'd escaped having to deal with any of that. She'd thought she was in the clear.

She could feel the instincts that became heightened during her heats start to spike, the panic only making them sharper. She needed to get off this train, the locked doors and windows and the sheer press of people triggering an instinctual need to run, to get to a place that was warm and safe, a place that was familiar – their bed at home with the blankets piled high and smelling of her mate.

She needed Killian.

She needed her Alpha, but he was already too far, and she was stuck on a train heading in the opposite direction.

Another sharp cramp twisted her insides and she bit back a whimper, adrenaline pumping through her veins and sweat beading on her skin as she shifted, stealing a glance at the people surrounding her. Almost everyone seemed unaware of her predicament, which made sense. Her heat was only just at the beginning of its climb, and it was unlikely that betas would notice much difference in the pheromones her body was producing – not this early on. Only alphas and omegas possessed the hyper-sensitive ability to pick out those scents from the air at such an early stage.

Then her eyes fell on the far corner of the car, and she saw him.

He leaned casually into the corner, but his eyes were narrowed and hard, his lips touched by the start of a smile as he realized that she knew he knew. Flexing his shoulders, he lifted his nose to the air and drew in a deep breath, his mouth twisting into a feral grin.

Emma's eyes widened with fear and she snapped her head back down, breathing heavily as a shiver washed over her body, the hair on her neck prickling. That had been a mistake, she realized, looking away – too submissive and sure to goad the strange alpha into action. She should have stared him down, and normally she would have, but somehow, being stuck in a confined space so far from her mate, her heat bearing down on her in a way that was faster and worse than normal – she was utterly terrified.

The man staring her down – she could feel it, even if she refused to look back in his direction – seemed to be a typical alpha from what she'd briefly seen. He wielded his large, bulky frame with the ease of someone used to getting their way and being obeyed, looming over the people beside him with an air of authority. He'd made a show of scenting the air when she'd laid eyes on him, and the fact that he was so blatantly displaying his interest had the taste of bile stinging sharply in the back of her throat.

She wanted to be anywhere but here.

She wanted it to be yesterday, before her body betrayed her and she was stuck in this nightmare.

Another cramp twisted in her gut, longer and sharper, her teeth digging into her lip as she tried to hold back the whine she could feel building in her throat – a call that was always answered by the reassuring rumble of her mate, except he wasn't here.

He was too far, and despite the flush of heat consuming her, she was so cold, her body insisting that she needed the warmth and security only he could provide.

She wanted to call him, the urge to do so almost irrepressible, but she knew he'd be a frantic mess, worrying for no reason. As long as the alpha in the corner kept his distance, she'd be fine – and it's not like he was crazy. Her claim mark would have been clearly visible when she turned toward him, and she knew that her scent gland was in overdrive, producing copious amounts of not only her own signals for heat, but the potent scent of her mate as well, broadcasting to any other alphas in the area that she wasn't a free omega. The guy had to know, so she felt reassured that he'd leave her alone.

She had to believe it, because the alternative was too frightening to consider.

No, there was no reason to call her mate and worry him over nothing. She had time. She'd jump out at North Quincy and grab a car straight back home. Then she would call Killian and let him know that he'd need to cut his work night short. If she was lucky, he'd already be there, drawn in by the promise of chicken alfredo.

Sweat slid from her cold grasp on the rail down the inside of her wrist in into her jacket.

She had to believe that everything would be fine, and for a few minutes it felt that way. It was the movement in her peripheral vision that betrayed that hope. The stray alpha was leaving his place at the other end of the car, people parting around him as he made his way closer. His body was tensed as he took another deep whiff of the air around him, a look of impatience on his face.

“Sorry,” Emma stammered, apologizing to the woman she'd accidentally pushed against in her futile effort to put more distance between herself and the threat the man posed.

Another shiver racked her body, adrenaline amplifying every normal inconvenience that her heat brought out – the cramps, the chills, the clawing need for her mate, and with that, the steady rush of slick that was just starting to slip from between her thighs. She wrangled with her own body, fighting for control and losing, her attention so caught up in maintaining some sort of normalcy that she didn't realize the alpha had moved closer until she felt his hot breath against the back of her neck, the air around her thickening with a sour, deep musk that was simply wrong.

She wanted to scream, but when she opened her mouth nothing came out, instead she fell forward, nearly on top of someone in the seat. She'd just managed to pull her feet back beneath her when she felt a firm hand wrap itself around her bicep, hauling her backward.

“Now, now, Omega,” the man chuckled close in her ear, the heat radiating from his body making her want to vomit. “Seems like you need some help.”

“No,” she ground out, almost unable to hear her own words, the hammering of her pulse in her ears drowning them out. “No. I'm claimed.”

She tore herself out of the man's grip and moved quickly toward the small circle of space near the door, uncaring of the people she elbowed or pushed aside to get there. The map above her was starting the blink, the little bulb beneath N. Quincy Station finally lighting up.

Thank god.

With any luck the man had taken the hint and wouldn't risk making a scene. At this point, there had to be at least one or two others on the car aware of what was happening, and there was no way any sane alpha would risk the trouble he could get into for pushing himself on a claimed omega. She hoped – but her heat always gave her tunnel vision, and the only thing she could think of was Killian, of how badly she needed him and how she'd never felt more vulnerable than in that moment.

The train finally slowed to a stop and the doors slid open. She'd never moved more quickly in her life, shoving aside the few people that tried to cut her off as she bolted from the train, never even hearing the muttered curses a few commuters send her way.

Her vision blurred in time with her heart, pinching and expanding as her heat slipped into the next gear. She stumbled forward and leaned heavily against a concrete support not far from the train as another cramp jolted through her core, leaving her nerves tingling in pain. She chanced a look back through the thinning crowd as the doors slid shut, but she didn't see him in the station.

Fearing what she might not see, she looked into the window of the car, but she couldn't make out his bulk there either. He wasn't on the train, but she hadn't seen him in the station either. She would have noticed.

The wave of nausea and cramps passed and she pulled out her cell, punching in Killian's number, her breathing echoing in her ears as she waited for the call to connect. He was at work, and she hardly ever called him there, so of course he picked up immediately, concern tainting the voice she'd needed so desperately to hear.

“Emma, is everything alright, love?”

Hearing his actual voice broke something in her, the wall she'd been holding up out of sheer determination, needing to believe that everything would be fine, that the alpha on the train was just going to forget her – but there was a small, niggling part of her brain warning that she would have seen him in the car if he'd stayed, if he hadn't followed her out.

“Killian,” she whimpered, every bit of that fear communicated through the tremor in her voice, in the way her breath fell in short pants as she moved farther out of the station, her eyes darting to the dark corners around her as she hurried toward the back parking lot.

“Emma,” he rushed, his voice laced with dread. “Emma, where are you? What's wrong?”

“My heat, it's early,” she muttered. “I was on the train when it hit. It's bad...”

“I'm coming to get you. What station?”

She nearly dropped the phone as another cramp rocked her, more slick cooling her thighs and dampening her jeans, her breath cut short as she struggled upright again.

“Emma!” Killian snapped just as she brought the phone back to her ear. “What station, Emma?”

“North Quincy. Killian...there was an alpha on the train.”

She could hear the sharp intake of his breath, something in the background dropping to the ground.

“Emma, I'm coming. Can you stay where there are people?”

“I don't know if he followed me,” she admitted, finally saying the thing she hadn't wanted to confront aloud. She hadn't seen him as the station emptied out around her, but there was no denying the odor of his musk that still drifted toward her occasionally. She wanted to believe it was lingering from where he'd wrapped his sweating hand around her arm, but she couldn't be sure. “There's no one here,” she whispered, blanching when she finally realized how far she'd walked in her daze. “I'm in the parking lot. I was gonna grab an Uber home.”

“Are there any cabs? Any cars, love?”

“No, it's so empty, Killian. There's no one here...”

“Stay on the line with me, Emma. I'm coming – right now. I'm on my way.”

Her mate's voice was wrecked, cracking with fear that she knew he was trying to keep at bay. In her gut she knew he was probably more frightened than she was, because she at least had the luxury of her heat muting everything it didn't deem important, but he didn't even have that. Entwining with hers, his fear only made her desire to burrow into their bed that much stronger, everything other than her need for him and a safe place dimming slightly. She wanted home, nestled in warmth with his weight on top of her. She'd be so full and sated, content with him curled around her back...

“Emma.”

Killian's voice broke through the fog, strained but firm, and she found herself humming in response, his voice sending a pleasing vibration through her body.

“Omega!” he snapped, and her purr turned into a whine at the sharp tone of displeasure, but his attempt to pull her back to reality worked, and some semblance of clarity came back to her as she hurried further into the parking lot.

“I'm here – I just...it's bad, Killian. It's coming fast and hard.”

“Just stay with me, love. Look around, do you see the alpha from the train? Did he follow you?”

She turned in place, trying to focus on her surroundings, the sidewalks and the slight glow of the lobby in the empty station, the parked cars and streetlights that cast wide circles of light across the pavement. She didn't see him, but there was this feeling, this warning in her gut that she'd learned to trust.

“I don't see him, but I think...oh, god, I think maybe he did. I don't know. I'm scared, Killian.” She stumbled backwards over the concrete lip of a planted median and grabbed onto the mirror of a car to steady herself. She needed to get farther from the building, someplace dark and hidden and safe – someplace he wouldn't see her. “I have to get out of sight. Maybe he'll just give up...”

“Can you get somewhere with people?”

“Not without going back through the station to the front...there's no one here,” she whispered, the tiny, logical part of her brain still working thinking how insane it was that the parking lot was this empty, like all of her bad luck had saved itself up for one day. “He could be inside still, if I try to go back.”

Just as she was threading her way between two vehicles, her eyes still locked on the station, she saw the silhouette of someone large approaching the doors she'd left mere minutes before, and she knew it was him. Before he could spot her, she dropped to the ground in a crouch, ignoring the sharp cramp that twisted in her gut with every ounce of determination she had left, gritting her teeth and moving farther through the parking lot.

“He's here,” she whispered, sliding her back against the front wheel of a car, her already soaked jeans pressed against the damp pavement. “He's here.”

Everything slowed, her heart beating like a dying drum against her chest, her breath shallow and drawn out on a tremble. She tightened her grip as her phone nearly tumbled from her sweat-slicked hand, her mouth dry with the taste of bile and metal.

He was going to find her. He would find her, and there would be nothing she could do.

The pain in her stomach had doubled, her body caught between fear and desperation, and she knew she wouldn't be able to stand, let alone run.

“I'm coming. I'm almost there, I promise. I'm not going to let him hurt you, okay? Just stay quiet, love. Please, just stay with me, Emma.”

He was too far, so far.

“I'm here,” she breathed. “Killian...I'm so scared.”

For a moment there was nothing more than the sound of his wrecked breathing and her quiet pants. Her hearing was sharpened, but she didn't hear any footsteps, didn't know if she even would over the rapid flutter of her pulse in her ears. There was a chance, if she had any luck left, that he'd glanced out the door and hadn't seen her. Maybe he was gone.

She exhaled and the air around her finally shifted, a gust of wind sweeping over the lot and cooling her heated skin. She almost sighed, the relief it brought making her forget for a second that she was drenched with slick, feverish and freezing at the same time – but then she smelled him, the alpha from the train.

He was close, the scent strong and just starting to deepen with notes of an alpha in rut, but nothing about it was heady and intoxicating like her own mate's. It was all wrong, and something feral in her snarled, wanting nothing to do with the male following her.

“Killian,” she broke, her whispered words nearly a cry, tears mixing with sweat as she realized her time was up, her vision blurring.

If she could smell the alpha, then he could smell her.

He would find her.

“Emma, I'm so close. I'll find you, I promise.”

“Killian, I love –”

Her phone clattered to the pavement at her feet, her words stolen as a strong hand grabbed her arm, ripping her up from where she'd been hiding. A pained yelp flew from her mouth as her shoulder twisted painfully, the world spinning as she was pinned against the hood of the car, a heavy body covering her back.

Her attacker's face pushed roughly into the crook of her neck, scenting her with a groan. She shuddered, squirming beneath him, her cries muffled as the suffocating weight of his arm pressed into her face. She sucked in meager, burning gulps of air, vomit rising in the back of her mouth as his tongue swept over the claim mark on her neck.

“You really gave me a chase,” the alpha groaned, his hips rutting against her backside, thrusting her own sore and cramping body into the wheel well. “I like a good chase though, and I've never smelled anything like you before.”

Twisting as much as she was able, she latched her teeth into an exposed section of his hand, her stomach lurching as the taste of blood filled her mouth, his angered snarl cutting across the dark parking lot. For a brief second the pressure eased and Emma hoped she might have a chance, but before she could even draw in a full breath he was back on her, changing his hold and wrapping his bloody fingers around the back of her neck instead. Cold air whipped between their lower bodies and she screamed as his other hand moved to her jeans, her knees banging against metal as she struggled.

“You don't know your place, Omega,” he growled, enjoying her whimper of pain as he pushed her more forcefully against the car, the sound of his zipper making her freeze. “I'll teach you. You'll thank me too. By the end you'll be begging for my knot.”

He kept talking, but his words were slipping away, everything moving farther away – even the piercing noise that Emma thought might have been her own screams, but she didn't know. She couldn't breathe, let alone scream. His fingers were tugging at her zipper, the wet, stubborn material of her jeans scrunching slowly down her hips.

She fought, struggled through the heavy fog settling around her. She didn't want this. It was all wrong. Not her mate, not Killian.

Then the world collapsed around her, lights and sounds finally folding into nothingness like a house of cards as her attacker grew more impatient, her body rocking against the car with each jerk as he struggled to lower the soaked material down her body, her position making it near impossible for him to get the jeans low enough with one hand.

Everything felt so distant, her breath on the hood of the car spreading like smoke and then fading away.

Then in a sudden rush the world snapped back to her, the hot weight against her back and fumbling hands torn away – the sound of something crashing into metal. The sound of a struggle as something was dragged across the pavement, grunts and curses and the sound of a fist hitting something over and over. There were voices now, shouts that come to her like a light through the fog. The sound of her jacket dragging against metal as she slumped to the ground. The sound of her sneakers pushing back gravel, and then the sound of her own voice as her knees hit the pavement.

“Killian,” she rasped, smelling him before she saw him, movement and light and clarity returning to her just as he rushed to her side, his blue eyes shining with tears and his hand, bloodied and swollen, moving to cup her face as he pulled her from the ground, as if she weighed nothing.

To him she never had.

She wanted to cry, finally enveloped by the heat and the scent and the person she needed, her hands twisting in his shirt as she strove to somehow get closer. Sensing her need, Killian shifted her carefully, juggling her in his arms as he shrugged his jacket off, draping it over her and shielding her in safety and comfort. His sweat and musk were soaked into the material, his scent flooding her, calming her frayed nerves and the part of her that still wanted to jump and kick at every noise reaching her ears.

His body was shaking with adrenaline, the tremors vibrating through her. She nestled against him, rubbing her cheek and neck along his skin in the way she knew would stir her own scent gland, easing his worry and calming him. She felt him settle around her, but then he started to move, growling out something unintelligible – it was then that she realized there must be people standing nearby. He paused and she clung to him tightly, his arms responding in kind. Fear crawled along her spine at the thought someone might be trying to separate them. From a gap in his jacket she could see the flicker of lights, red and blue against the metallic sheen of the cars. She knew he must be talking with a cop, that help had come, but she couldn't focus on the words.

Now that she was where she should be, the reality of her heat was falling back over her like a familiar weight.

The gentle swagger of his body resumed and there was the sound of a car door opening – a brief moment of terror when he let her go, her response immediate and frantic, but then he was back at her side, scooping her from the seat and back into his lap as he barked their address at whoever was driving.

The car pulled away, the fog of fear lessening and eventually falling away from her entirely as she basked in the comfort that was her mate, his arms wrapped solidly around her as he whispered her name over and over into her hair, his fingers caressing her sweat-soaked skin and soothing the writhing need inside of her, wordless promises that she wouldn't feel aching and empty for long, that he would take care of her.

~ * ~ * ~

She isn't sure how long the trip back home takes, but every moment she slides further away from the trauma she'd been put through and into the instinctual need that feels like it just may rip her apart. She's bathed in the scent of her mate – the deep, spicy musk heavy on his skin, laced with notes of sea salt and sweetness and something unique only to him. It's everything she's ever needed. Adrenaline and fear had triggered his rut in the same way they'd worsened her heat, and the familiar intoxicating tang that it edged his scent with was driving her wild with need, slick pooling once more between her legs as she core throbbed violently.

Her attack seems so distant, and far less important than finally getting into the privacy of their own home, to the place where her mate can soothe her and give them what they both desperately need. She wriggles in his lap, unable to hold back the needy plea that she presses into his skin, delighting in the low growl vibrating through his chest as he tightens his grip. Words are snapped at the driver and then Killian is tipping them both to the side as he digs into his pocket. A moment later the car slows to a stop and he's tossing something onto the front seat before easing them outside, her body still caged tightly within his arms.

His jacket is still draped over her, his arms holding it in place, but the collar had settled around her neck and she looks up into his stormy eyes, his pupils blown-wide, just as surely as her own are. There's an unquenchable need there, but below it she sees the fear, the regret and guilt, the anger. Her fingers drift up and cradle the tense line of his jaw, stroking until his muscles unclench, hoping he understands that everything is alright, everything will be alright.

They're together, and she's never felt more safe than she does right now.

He doesn't put her down, not once, despite the struggle it gives him in getting into the apartment, but she doesn't want him to, doesn't think she could stand to be separated for even an instant. She knows there are a lot of things to be said, to be asked, to be cried over, but right now she can't think past tearing off all of the layers that are keeping them apart.

They don't make it farther than the entryway, the door slamming shut behind them as he fingers the offending material of her jacket, the stench of the other alpha still wafting from the wool into the air. When he peels it carefully from her body, clearly resisting the urge to tear it from her, she sighs in relief, shrugging off the weight of it as he tosses it violently across the room.

Killian normally loves taking his time with his mate, using his fingers and mouth to bring her to completion before finally giving in to the crushing need to fill her and knot her, but her need is too great right now, too desperate, and his sudden rut is making it near impossible for him to walk her to the bedroom, let alone take care of her in the way he wants – to sit her down and ask what he can do, what she needs – he knows that she needs this, and he'll give it to her, to them both.

“Alpha...” she begs, suddenly falling to the floor at his feet, her chest pressed against his legs as she rubs her cheek against his crotch, her fingers trembling as she struggles to undo the button of his pants “...need you, Alpha.”

The air between them is thick with the mix of their scents, his blood pounding in his ears, need and fear and desire rolling together like some wild thing, the sweet scent of her slick so strong he can taste it on his tongue, wants to taste it on her soaked flesh.

“Omega,” he rasps, his vision sharpening to see her and only her, his cock hard and throbbing and every instinct in his body telling him that his omega needs him, that only he can give her what she craves. His hands settle tightly on her shoulders, turning her gently on the entryway carpet. “Present for your Alpha.”

Small, expectant whimpers tremble from her throat as she drops to her belly and slides her knees up behind her, her fingers hastily grabbing her rumpled jeans and pushing the sodden material over her ass and down her thighs, wriggling her legs to get them to her knees as an overpowering wave of her scent plows into him.

The sight of her sex, swollen and exposed, presented so wantonly in the air for him has his knot swelling at the base of his cock, his pulse racing as he shoves his jeans down his own legs and kneels behind her, holding the beast in him at bay so he can snatch one last human moment before he's lost completely, burying his mouth in her folds and greedily lapping her juices up, his tongue sweeping every inch he can reach before he pulls back with a growl, images flashing through his head – another alpha's hands on her, another male scenting her, imagining what she would feel like.

Somewhere in the back of his brain he knows that this isn't about that, but gods he needs to feel her to know that she's really there, that they're both here and he made it to her in time, that he didn't let her down completely when she needed him most, that she needs him in this way just as urgently as he needs her.

“Emma,” he whispers, her excited pants driving him on as he pulls back and hovers behind her, the swollen head of his cock throbbing against her scorching folds as his hands settle on her hips, “my Omega...”

“God, yes, yours, Alpha, always yours...”

“Mine.”

And then he's burying himself inside of her, her walls seizing around him the instant he does, her cries of his title and name muffled in the carpet as she gyrates her hips, trying to impale herself further. He wants to savor that first, heavenly wave of pleasure that sinking into her always brings, but the beast inside of him is unrelenting, needing to remind the both of them that she is his, and he is hers. Everything other than the ecstasy of their joining and her delicious noises falls away from him, lost beneath the haze of instincts he can't escape – his hips pistoning as he drags his cock from her grasping channel and thrusts back in, slick running freely from his omega and soaking the floor beneath them as she begs and pleads for all of him.

“Is that what you want, Omega,” he pants, the wet sounds of him pulling out and driving back into her filling the air, her firm ass bouncing as he rams into her again and again. “You need your Alpha's knot?”

“Please, Alpha, please, need it so bad,” she mumbles, her words running one over the next as she lets out a moan and shudders around him, so close to falling apart, but needing the fullness of his knot stretching her. “Just yours, just yours, Alpha...”

She tries to struggle upward, unable to shake the urge to feel her alpha covering her completely, his chest pressed against her back as he thrusts into her, claiming her entirely and leaving no inch of her body unmarked by his firm hold and powerful scent. She's shaking, her limbs barely able to support her own weight as he continues to plow into her, his knot fully swollen and catching the edges of her opening with each push deeper, but he senses what she needs, that the separation between them is too much, and he pauses for a second to move his hands from her hips, grabbing her arms and yanking her upper half closer, their two bodies bent together as he pulls her tightly against his chest, swallowing her small frame entirely as he holds her up, his rut bringing with it a strength that doesn't answer to weariness, but only to need.

His grunts are hot and rhythmic against her neck as he moves within her, his teeth sharper and gently razing the swollen gland that already bears his claim mark, sweat running from both of their bodies and sliding between them. Still riled by the threat to his omega, the beast inside of him is wild and frenzied, driving him to mark her again, to claim her once more – the only thing that will sate him. Beneath him her whimpers spiral into something keening and primal, her legs trembling despite the fact that he's holding both of them suspended as he thrusts, and he knows she's almost there, can feel her swollen walls spasming around him.

He slides one hand down her stomach, changing their angle and forcing himself deeper, his knot brushing further within her swollen walls as they begin to pulse around him.

“Mine, Omega...” he growls, completely lost to the beast as she keens beneath him in answer.

She is his, always his.

“Need it, need it, Alpha, please,” she cries, her walls pulling at the throbbing edge of his knot with each teasing thrust. “Need to feel you fill me up, make me yours, please...”

“Open up for me,” he pants against her skin, his teeth gliding down to clamp around the swell of her shoulder. He moves his hand lower and rubs against her clit, his calloused fingers pinching roughly, his words like liquid sin rolling over her, his cock thick and hard and stretching her in all the right ways, everything flowing and surging together in a brutal wave that crashes over her all at once, her vision fading and slipping into darkness as she shakes beneath him – the familiar sting of his teeth marking her shoulder a vibrant shock of blinding light beneath her lids, drawing every last pulsing moment of rapture from her body.

He thrusts into her one final time, his own peace finding him as he forces the swell of his knot into her tight sheath, the coil in his gut snapping and exploding outward as pleasure rocks his body, her walls milking every last drop of his seed – the beast inside of him quelled.

They come down together, Emma collapsing as he releases her shoulder and cushions her fall with his arms, stifling a groan at the pull between them where he's tightly joined with her still. He carefully maneuvers them to their sides on the damp carpet, Emma's breath leaving her in a gasp as the movement shifts him within her slightly, her walls shivering around him and drawing a last spasm from his still hard member.

“Killian,” she whispers, her voice tired yet serene, her head rolling against his chest so their lips can find one another. “Alpha...”

There are a few blissful minutes where their bodies breath as one, sighs traded between their lips and fingers tracing heated skin, but then the fog of need disperses and the weight of the evening falls back onto them, her body shaking in his embrace.

“Oh, love,” he murmurs, wishing he could pull her more comfortably into the safety of his arms, or that he’d spared a thought to getting them to the bedroom before they’d joined.

She reaches for his hand, pulling it to her lips and pressing small kisses into his skin, her tears running along her cheeks and into his palm as she weeps. He tries to hold and comfort her as best he can, his own tears darkening her hair as he presses her closer, whispering soft noises between them. He wants to tell her how sorry he is that he wasn’t by her side, that he hadn’t been able to prevent that monster from ever laying a hand on her, but he knows saying the words won’t make them true, and the last thing he wants to do is burden her with his own failings. With no words strong enough to soothe the hurt that’s been done to her, he simply offers what he can with his presence. As soon as their bodies slip apart, she’s turning into him, burying her face in the warmth of his chest and sighing into his embrace, neither of them sure of the next steps to take, or where those steps might take them.

~ * ~ * ~

It was never going to be easy – taking broken things and making them resemble what they once did never is, but its almost impossible when a new, jagged memory sits among the rest, waiting to find its place.

It wasn't easy the first week that swung violently between frantic couplings and emotional upheaval, a man and woman in uniform sitting opposite their couch as Emma recounted what happened, her hands gripping Killian's like a lifeline. He sat on the edge of the cushion, his body slanted between her and the police. Still mid-rut, his instincts to protect and shield her were at war with the man who understood she needed to tell her story, to do what she could to put the monster who had assaulted her behind bars.

It didn't get any easier the next week when her body finally gasped and released its need, her heat dissipating and leaving her an empty, broken shell that every happiness seemed to run straight through, spilling on the floor.

And none of the hours, or days, or weeks that came after were better. She'd wake at night with the memory of hands on her arm, pressing against her neck – the wrong hands – but there was never more than a second of panic before she was wrapped in the rightness that was her mate, her fears soothed if only for a few moments.

It wasn't easy when she sat on the couch with her therapist, sometimes talking, and sometimes saying nothing at all, but always wondering if those pieces she'd been broken into would ever amount to the strong, capable woman she used to be, or if that one dark piece meant they'd stay forever on the floor, waiting for the next blow that would crush them into an even finer dust.

It wasn't easy for Killian either, not the first week when he bent to the instincts they were both driven by, man warring with pure, primal need, unable to do anything but give in, but fearful that it was too much too soon – both the man and the beast left rabid with fury when the police informed them that while they suspected her attacker had a similar history in other cities, without corroboration or a record, he'd most likely be able to bargain down to a slap on the wrist.

It didn't get any easier after their rut and heat ended, reality slipping through their doorway as they searched for a new normal that didn't disturb the broken pieces that littered the floor and met them each day in the mirror. Killian confided that he'd decided to walk home for dinner when she mentioned the leftovers, that if he hadn't, if he'd decided to stay at the office, he was terrified to think of how much longer it would have taken him to get to her – how one little decision had meant so much. What other decision could he make that would be the wrong one?

None of the hours, day, or weeks that followed were better, waking from his own nightmares to comfort his mate, images he'd never forget still etched behind his closed eyes as Emma shuddered in his arms – the police holding him back from a scene he didn't want to see, Emma bloodied and broken on the ground because he'd taken too long to reach her, because she was a fighter, because he'd failed her.

He'd finally agreed to see someone, to try to find a way just as Emma was, but even then the weight of fixing things felt like a burden he'd crumble beneath, one infinitesimal crack away from shattering. How could he take the guilt, the anger, the resentment, the fear and wrap them up neatly into something that wouldn't drag him down with each step he took? How could he be there for Emma if he couldn't hold himself up? How could he forgive himself?

It wasn't easy, and it took more days and months than they could count, some of them passing in moments of brightness and others lingering like a sickness they couldn't shake, but they had each other. They had help, and gradually, like seasons shifting, the minutes between dark moments grew a little longer, the days between nightmares stretched.

It was months before they took anything but a car to get around Boston, and even then never alone. Emma still hated confined spaces, leaving the doors open to every room she was in, even at work or home, and neither of them were as comfortable with long absences than they once were. When Killian mentioned a transfer to a small ship yard in New York, Emma could see through his reassurances that he would be happy there. She knew his heart, and she also knew hers, so she knew it wasn't right for them.

This was their home, and she wasn't going to let that monster take it away from her, from Killian, from the future they'd always envisioned here.

So they fought for it, through the days that were easy and the ones that weren't, which a year later were few and far between, and on the day that Emma told Killian they would need to move his office out of the spare room, it had never been easier to forget that brief moment of darkness in the face of so much light and promise.

And on the day they painted it a beautiful sea-blue that peeked through the slats of the crib Killian had put together himself, they barely ever thought of all those broken pieces – the few that still lingered were familiar and softened by time, as ingrained into the foundation of who they were now as anything whole – instead, they chose to look ahead to where there was a happy beginning to a new story – and above all else, there was Hope.

#Captain Swan #cs fanfic #cs ff #emma and hook #sailtoafarawayland #omegaverse

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into-control · 4 years ago

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so you really stopped shipping them?// a lot of people stopped shipping them me included. i support them individually. there is no denying they did have something whilst they was in the band. yes laurens podcast did leave a lot of question marks. but I think the podcast was the last hit. lot of good writers said goodbye and took down their ff. twitter, instagram tiktok camren account gone. i just wish the ex cs don't turn into haters. camila hasn't label herself. that was my i had enough moment.

regardless of what did happen i didn’t feel like pushing back anymore it just wasn’t making me happy and it’s not my job so why would i continue? i genuinely just don’t think about it anymore

#ask #anon

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lizacstuff · 8 years ago

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CS FF: In Her Corner

Summary: As Emma broods over Henry, and Hook broods over Emma, a chance encounter makes them both feel better.

This is for my lovely CSSS, Amanda aka @Leiandcharles! It was my pleasure getting to be your Secret Santa and getting to reconnect! My apologies for being late with this, but it’s always nice to get something after Christmas, isn’t it? I took this bit from our conversation as a prompt:

“I also would’ve loved to have a scene of them talking just after they get back from Neverland with Emma confiding in him about her worries with Henry and him believing her and supporting her and letting her know she isn’t alone.”

Can also be read on ff.net or AO3

It was the right thing to do, backing off, giving Emma space. However, just because it was the right thing to do, didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell. It did. Just the idea of her with Baelfire sent a jolt of revulsion through him, but he owed it to her, he owed it to Baelfire, and mostly he owed it to Milah to let her son have his shot at happiness. She would have wanted that, since she hadn’t been able to give it to him herself.

How and when had this blasted woman come to mean so much to him? How, after so many years, a century even, had he allowed another woman to enchant him so completely? He’d never thought it would happen again, had been sure of it. He’d been wrong.

It wasn’t her sharp, blue-green eyes that reminded him of the waters of a particularly lovely lagoon he’d come across once on his travels, or her cascade of golden locks, or her winsome figure, or any of her fine features that had captivated him so completely. The problem was he didn’t know what it was. Exactly.

He knew she was beautiful, but she was also possessed of a keen intellect, and she was resourceful, and spirited.

It wasn’t any one thing; it was that as a whole, she was magnificent.

Bloody hell! He wanted nothing more than for her to be his. And to be hers in kind. In the current circumstances, that was not an option and he cursed the decision he’d made a week ago to turn his ship around and sail back to this godforsaken place. Had he kept going he wouldn’t be in this predicament. He wouldn’t have escorted her to Neverland, and he wouldn’t have kissed her and, well, he wouldn’t be on the docks of Storybrooke brooding over her right now.

Killian took a deep breath and opened his eyes. The air had grown cold as the sun slowly disappeared and the breeze held moisture from the sea. Moisture that in the cold air turned to icy pinpricks against his skin, but he didn’t turn away.

He invited the pain; it gave him momentary reprieve since the effects of the beer he’d drank earlier at Granny’s had worn off. He’d done the right thing. It left him feeling bereft and out of sorts, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t been the right thing to do. He’d just have to find a way to live with the ‘right thing’ and not spend the next century pining after a woman he couldn’t, or rather shouldn’t, have. He contemplated leaving Storybrooke. Setting sail, but making his departure permanent this time. No turning back.

It was a fleeting thought, though. He couldn’t leave Emma. Or rather, he wouldn’t leave Emma, even if she were with another man. She might need him, his ship, or his services. Besides he’d meant what he said to Neal earlier, he wasn’t at all sure Emma would give his romantic rival another opportunity. However, it was the chance she would, that was making his gut feel as if a rather large cannon ball had taken up residence in it.

He needed to stop dwelling on it. He should get back to Granny’s and find a distraction. With that decided, he turned to go. That’s when he saw her.

For a moment, he wondered if she were a mirage. An image sent by his brain to torture his soul. He had just been thinking of her, it wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibility for him to imagine her visage.

Emma hadn’t seen him. She was walking, but without purpose. Once he decided she was not an image sent by his subconscious to torture him, his first thought was that he should honor his promise to Balefire. Leave, before she saw him, make himself scarce. She was staring ahead, but she didn’t seem to be looking at anything, lost in thought perhaps. Something in his gut twisted, even at a glance he could tell all was not right with her.

He discarded that first thought, the one that told him to leave, as quickly as it had come. He watched her for a moment and became even more concerned. There was something in her bearing, the way she was holding herself; it was without her usual confidence. He knew with certainty something was wrong.

That made the decision for him, before he could change his mind he strode in her direction.

By the time he reached her, she’d stopped walking, and was looking at the sea. He found it heartening that she was drawn to it, just as he was.

When he was standing about five feet behind her, he finally spoke. “There’s a mighty chill rolling in, it’s a touch cold to be strolling on the docks.”

At the sound of his voice, she whirled around to face him. “Hook.” The name slipped from her lips, half in question, half in statement. She looked if she were going to say something, but changed her mind and instead she uttered, “It’s not that cold.” The mist her hot breath created in the cold air exposed her lie as she continued, “What are you doing here?”

He cocked his head sideways and then nodded at the next dock over to where the silhouette of the Jolly stood proud against the ever-darkening sky. “I live here.”

“Oh, right,” Then she crinkled up her nose in befuddlement. “Wait, I thought you were staying at Granny’s?”

At that, Hook smiled widely at her. He hadn’t told her that; hadn’t had a chance to talk to her at all since they’d returned to Storybrooke. She must have heard that from someone else, which meant she had been talking about him. It was such a small thing, but it made his heart soar. “Checking up on me, love?”

She rolled her eyes at his cheeky response, as she always did, and then gave him her best sardonic glare.

He shot her a playful smile in return and shrugged as if to say, ‘I am what I am.’

She turned back towards the water, but replied, “Granny mentioned it earlier, in passing.”

His instinct had been right. There was definitely something bothering her. He could see it in the hunch of her shoulders, and the tight lines that formed around her mouth. Hook took several steps until he was standing to her side. “What brings you out tonight, love? I thought you’d still be at Granny’s with Henry and your family…” he paused for a moment and then added softly, “and Neal.”

Emma grimaced almost imperceptibly at the mention of her ex’s name, but Hook saw it; her reaction gave him more hope than it probably should have.

“What is it?” Hook asked; his voice tinged with sincerity and kindness.

“What do you mean?” Emma turned so she was looking at him; pulled more by his tone, than by the question itself.

Hook took a step closer and searched her eyes. “Something is bothering you.”

Emma shrugged and shifted her gaze down, no longer meeting his eye. “It’s nothing,” she murmured, but the worry lines that marred her expression said otherwise.

All he wanted was to kiss her forehead until the crinkles were soothed away. He would take away all her pain if he could. Since the moment he’d met her, all she’d wanted was to get back to her boy, she’d done it, he was safe, they were all safe, so why was she still pained?

“Stop,” Emma said, pulling her gaze from the dock and back up to study his face.

“Stop, what?”

“You’re staring at me like you’re trying to read my mind.”

“Why don’t you spare me the effort? Come, Emma, clearly something has you distressed.”

She took a deep breath and was about to demure, but then she thought better of it. Something in the tone of his voice made her want to confide in him. He’d proven himself steadfast during the last week on the island; they’d been together constantly then. It was odd, it had only been a day or two since they’d returned from Neverland, but in that time she found she… well, she missed him. Missed not being around him, missed not having someone in her corner. It was a surprising revelation. That is what he had been in Neverland, in her corner. Boy, did she feel like she needed someone in her corner right now. Suddenly, all she wanted to do was confide in him.

“Henry is acting… strange.”

“How so?” Hook’s question was a mixture of curiosity and concern.

“I don’t know…” Emma shook her head and shrugged. “It’s a lot of little things that might mean nothing. Maybe it’s just a gut feeling I have. Earlier, he wasn’t interested in his book, he loves that book, and then he wanted to spend the night with Regina instead of with me, it’s… it’s just a gut feeling I have.”

Hook was silent for a beat, then opened his mouth to reply, but before he could she interrupted, “Look, I know what you’re going to say, he’s been through an ordeal, Regina is his mother too, it doesn’t mean anything. He’s an adolescent. Give him space.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything of the sort,” Hook replied matter-of-factly.

“You weren’t?” Emma cocked her head, studying him carefully. She wasn’t sure what sort of response she hoped for from him. Part of her feared she was over reacting, but deep down she knew she wasn’t, and that thought was even scarier.

“No.”

“What were you going to say then?”

“I was going to say that there is not much I would trust more than your gut.”

“Oh.” That took her by surprise. She should probably stop being surprised when he said those sort of things to her. The frequency with which it happened, that he said something supportive or complimentary, should have rendered her used to it by now. She wasn’t. She wasn’t used to anyone having faith in her, except possibly Henry, and that didn’t help much in the current circumstance.

“Really?”

“Aye. Swan, you’re a perceptive woman. If you feel something is amiss, I wouldn’t disregard it.”

“You don’t think I’m crazy, or jealous of Regina, or being overprotective?”

“No, I don’t think you’re any of those things.” Hook’s words were meant to be reassuring; however, they did not have the intended effect.

“So you think something is wrong?” Emma asked, her worry evident in every word she spoke.

“I don’t know, Swan, but you’re right, your boy has been through quite an ordeal-”

“I’m not sure if that makes me feel better or worse,” Emma interrupted.

With a small frown, Hook quickly replied, “My apologies, the last thing I want is to make you feel worse.”

“No, I meant…” Emma paused. What did she mean? “I meant that I appreciate you, uh, not thinking I’m crazy, or jealous, or over protective, but I would obviously prefer to be those things, rather than there be something wrong with Henry.”

Hook gave her a small smile. “That is quite understandable.” He took a step towards her so they were only a foot apart, a jolt of energy shot through him at their nearness, as it always did. With great patience, he ignored the physical affect she had on him and focused on the issue at hand. “The lad has indeed been through quite an ordeal and the truth is Pan is evil and as far as I know there is much that’s not known about Henry’s time with him and the Lost Boys on Neverland.”

Emma nodded thoughtfully. That was true, Henry hadn’t been very forthcoming at all; it was one of the things that had her worried.

Hook took a deep breath before continuing, he was about to ask a question he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer to, however, he would do anything to help Emma, even if it entailed a suggestion that she spend time with Baelfire. “Have you spoken to the boy’s father?”

“Neal?” Emma was surprised, that was the last thing she expected him to ask.

“Aye,” Hook replied softly.

Emma indicated she hadn’t with a shake of her head.

“I see, perhaps you might consider it. Before Echo cave, he was in Pan’s camp, maybe there is something he saw or heard that would shed light on Henry’s behavior.”

Emma looked thoughtful. Could Neal know something that would be helpful? That would mean she would have to talk to Neal, and she had been avoiding him. However, judging by the way he had cornered her earlier to ask her out, he hadn’t really taken the hint. Perhaps that was it? Could Henry sense that she was avoiding his father? While Neal was clearly open to reuniting? She sighed deeply and then blurted, “The truth is, Henry’s odd behavior might be about Neal.”

Hook opened his mouth to respond, but then realized he didn’t know what to say, so, instead, he quirked a questioning eyebrow at her.

“I think he would like us to get back together,” she replied in explanation. She knew she was entering a danger zone, but there was part of her that wanted to gauge his reaction. Which was silly, she knew how he felt. He had declared his intentions to win her heart after all. Had that happened only days ago? Still there was part of her that wondered how serious he really was. Life had taught her not to trust anyone; she was particularly weary of handsome men who said all the right things, throw in him being a centuries old, notorious pirate, and all bets were off.

“Does he?” Hook tried to sound noncommittal. His pirate’s desire to jockey for position was at war with his earlier decision to stand aside and allow them a chance to be a family without his interference.

Emma nodded her head in the affirmative. “It’s natural, I suppose, but…”

“But?” Hook prodded when she’d trailed off into silence, hoping that she couldn’t tell his pulse had picked up a few beats.

Emma’s frown returned, this time more pronounced. “It would make Henry happy, and it would make my parents happy, but I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t make me happy.”

“Oh,” he replied quietly, hoping that his elation at her reticence wasn’t writ clearly on his face.

“Maybe making them happy is enough; maybe I shouldn’t be concerned with my own happiness.” Emma felt her insides tighten at her own words as if her body were rejecting the notion.

Hook watched her, as he clenched and unclenched his fist. It took a concerted effort, but he tamped down the ire that bubbled just to the surface. How dare anyone make Emma feel like her own happiness wasn’t important? Henry was just a boy, but he wondered if her parents knew the turmoil they had caused her?

“Swan…” The bit of fire in his tone got Emma’s attention. He paused a beat, his eyes searching hers in the light of the moon, the intensity in them unmistakable. “Your happiness is everything.”

Emma let out a pent up woosh of air she’d been holding. This man had a way of surprising her. No one had said anything like that to her and meant it. She might not know a lot about trust or relationships, but she knew in that moment that he was sincere.

He continued, feeling his words passionately, but maintaining control. “Forgoing your own happiness, won’t make your family happy, it will only lead to misery for all involved.”

As Emma let that sink in, they stood there silently in the cool night air, Emma’s gaze flicked from his eyes, down to his lips and back again. She licked her own lips and felt herself sway towards him as a flutter began deep in her chest. It would be so natural to keep going until she was melting into him, his arms circling her, steady and warm, and her lips meeting his, tender and hot.

Emma felt a shiver and wasn’t sure if it was from the sea breeze or from the realization that she was sharing what felt like a very intimate moment with Hook. What was she doing? Henry was acting weird; her parents were pressuring her to be with Neal. Now was not the time for this, whatever this was. Emma shook her head as if to clear it and took one-step back, trying to break the tension that seemed to bind them a moment earlier.

Hook’s heart was racing; he focused on controlling his breathing. It had taken everything he had not to take her in his arms and kiss her. Blast the affect this woman had on him.

Emma swallowed roughly and then breaking the last of the spell stuttered, “Um… I guess… uh… either way, you’re right. I should talk to Neal. About Henry, I mean. He might know something.”

The desire to object vehemently to her talking to Neal overwhelmed him, but he tamped it down. It was highly irrational to begin with since he suggested it in the first place. He also took the opportunity to remind himself that he was supposed to be giving them a chance. So instead, he swallowed roughly and then asked a bit hoarsely, “Is there something I can do?”

“Actually…” Emma rewarded him with a small smile. “I think you’ve done it.” Truth was she felt lighter after talking to him. That feeling from Neverland had returned; that feeling of having someone on her side, someone in her corner.

Hook returned her smile and felt his heart swell. He didn’t know exactly what he had done, but it appeared as if he’d helped. However, even though he was gratified by her words, it wasn’t enough. He’d do anything for her, and find a way to help he would. “Perhaps there is another way I could be of service. Tomorrow morning I’ll seek out the refugees from Neverland, have a chat with some of the Lost Boys, see if there is anything I can glean that would shed light on what might be going on with Henry. They’re a tight lot, but we need only one to break their silence; perhaps I can… encourage them to be forthcoming.”

“Whoa, what do you mean by ‘encourage?’” Emma asked, a sense of foreboding flooding her. “Not violence?”

Hook gave her a knowing wink, then relented by saying, “Not to worry, Swan, I was thinking more along the lines of bribery. There’s not much in the way of sweets on Neverland. Maybe a visit to Any Given Sundae would loosen their tongues.”

Relieved, Emma let out a soft, humorous snort at the image of the fearsome Captain Hook bribing Lost Boys for information with ice cream. “You would do that?”

“Of course.”

“That would be good,” Emma smiled, realizing that she felt better than she had all day. There was a plan. She would talk to Neal… about Henry. If it turned out Henry was upset about her lack of relationship with his father, that could be dealt with, but if it were something more, maybe he would remember something helpful. Hook would talk to the Lost Boys. It was a load off her mind to have an actual plan. And to not feel crazy.

Satisfied that she seemed less worried, the crease in her brow now gone, Hook gestured inland. “Now, I’ve seen you shiver several times, you must be quite cold. May I escort you back to town?”

“That’s okay. I’ll be fine.” Emma’s natural instinct was usually to refuse any offer, this time she also wanted to cover the fact that her shivers might be more from her proximity to him and less from the dropping temperature.

“I know you’ll be fine, however we’re headed the same direction.” Hook reminded her, “I’m currently a guest at Granny’s.”

Right. Emma knew that. “Okay, then, fine, let’s go.”

He bowed slightly and gestured for her to lead the way. As she turned to go, he fell into step with her feeling better about things than he had since they returned from Neverland. He would still back off, but that just meant he would leave things up to her, and be there when she needed him. He felt good about that. Very good, indeed.

They walked, side-by-side, in companionable silence for several blocks. When they hit Main Street, Emma glanced over at Hook, marveling at how comfortable it felt. He felt her movement, turned, and smiled at her; an easy, companionable smile that demanded nothing in return and that’s when it hit her.

She wasn’t alone. She had a friend. She had an ally. She had Hook. It was a novel feeling for her, but she found she liked it. She liked it an awful lot.

The End.

#captain swan #csss #cs ff #cs fanfiction #cs secret santa #csss 2017 #leiandcharles #my fic #in her corner

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captainswanluver · 8 years ago

Text

CS FF: Forever Yours

Summary: My version of how season 7 should open. Set in the future during a time of peace in Storybrooke, Emma and Killian are living a blissfully happy life with their seven year old twins. But this is still Storybrooke. And things can change in the blink of an eye.

Rating: PG

Note: Thank you for the responses to ‘Never Stop Fighting’. Since Emma is only guaranteed to be back for one episode, we know that CS will have to be separated somehow. Given what we know so far, this is how I would like things to go in the season premiere. Oh and there is no mention of Henry in this because I’m still trying to wrap my mind around how that whole thing is going to work and what exactly will happen to him in the future. Hope you enjoy it! ~Steph

...Forever Yours: Part 1/1…

Killian came up behind his wife, as she stood at the stove making pancakes. He wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled his nose into her neck.

“Something smells delicious,” he muttered.

Emma giggled as his lips moved to her neck.

“Don’t start,” she warned. “The kids are already up and in the living room.”

“What?” he asked, nibbling on her ear. “I was talking about the pancakes.”

“Sure you were,” she replied with a laugh.

Emma spun around in her husband’s arms and snaked hers around his neck. His lips came crashing into hers, his tongue quickly diving into her mouth. He pulled her body up against his, as Emma threaded her fingers through his hair.

“We can’t,” Emma breathed before kissing him again.

Killian reached behind her and turned the stove off, as his lips moved down her throat to her chest.

“Perhaps if we are quiet, we can make it up to our bedroom and the children will simply think we are still asleep.”

Emma squeezed her eyes closed, as she held his head to her skin.

“Only one problem with that: they already saw me making the pancakes.”

Killian pulled her robe back a bit with his hook and kissed her shoulder.

“We can think of an excuse for our disappearance later then,” he said.

His lips moved back to hers for a quick kiss and then he grabbed her hand, leading her to the stairs.

“Let go!” Leia screamed.

“You let go!” Liam yelled.

“MOM! DAD!” they both bellowed.

Killian and Emma stopped dead in their tracks, mere feet from the stairs.

“Bloody hell. They must have inherited their grandmother’s terrible timing,” Killian mumbled. “Why did we decide to have children again?”

Emma laughed, as she kissed his cheek. “Because we wanted to share our love and watch it grow everyday.”

Her husband bobbed his head, as he placed a kiss to her forehead.

“Aye, that’s right. Sometime I forget.”

“Come on,” Emma said, as she dragged him to the living room.

Once there, they found their seven year old twins engaged in a tug-of-war with a plastic sword.

“It’s mine! Give it back!” Liam screamed.

“You’re supposed to share!” Leia yelled back.

“What the devil is going on in here?” Killian asked.

“Dad, Leia took the sword Grandpa gave me and she won’t give it back.”

“He wouldn’t share it with me,” Leia countered.

Emma looked at their son. “Is that true?”

He shrugged. “Well, yeah. Swords aren’t for girls.”

Emma’s jaw tightened and she crossed her arms over her chest. Killian chuckled as he slapped their son gently on the back.

“Oh, lad, now you’ve gone and done it.”

“Excuse me?” Emma said. “You know I am quite skilled with a sword, as is your grandmother. What would make you say such a thing, Liam?”

Leia smiled. “I know why. He’s afraid I’ll be better at sword fighting than he is, so he doesn’t want me to use his sword.”

“Liam,” Killian began. “Is your sister right?”

Liam shrugged and dropped his gaze to the ground. “She’s better at everything. School, sports, even video games. I just wanted to be better than her this one time.”

Emma and Killian’s faces softened. Emma took the sword from them.

“Have a seat on the couch,” she ordered gently.

The twins sat down on the couch as their parents sat across from them on the coffee table.

“You are not in competition with each other,” Emma said.

Killian nodded. “Aye, you both have your own talents and gifts. All we ask if that you try your best at whatever you do.”

Emma bobbed her head. “Your father is right. And if one of you happens to be better at something than the other, then you should be proud of each other. Just like I know your father is proud of me, even though I am better at sword fighting than he is. Right?” she said, turning to her husband.

Killian’s eyes widened and he chuckled nervously, “Well, love, I’m not sure I’d say you’re better than me. After all, I do have a few centuries of practice on you.”

“True, but at this point, I’ve defeated countless villains, so that has to count for something,” she said.

“Aye, that it does. But to declare you are better than me is a bit of an overstatement,” he said.

The children stared at their parents. Emma and Killian were suddenly aware that their parental lecture had gotten away from them.

Emma forced a smile. “The point is, I am proud of your father for being so good at sword fighting and he is proud of me.”

“That’s right. And we want you to support each other and be proud of each other,” Killian added.

“Okay,” they replied begrudgingly.

Emma held the sword out. “So you have two choices. You can either take turns playing with the sword or we keep it and no one uses it. What’s it going to be?”

Leia and Liam exchanged a glance, then sighed heavily.

“Take turns,” they mumbled.

“Brilliant,” Killian said with a grin, as Emma handed the sword over to Liam.

“But it’s time for breakfast now and then we need to get ready for our fishing trip on the Jolly Roger today. Go get washed up,” Emma said.

The twins scampered out of the room.

Killian grinned at his wife. “Love, you don’t truly believe you’re better at sword fighting than me, do you?”

Emma shrugged. “Well, when we dueled in the Enchanted Forest, I did beat you.”

Killian leaned in close to her, his eyes scanning her face and stopping at her lips, as he replied softly, “I was distracted.”

His lips moved to her jaw and he began to leave a path of kisses down it.

“Oh yeah, by what?” Emma breathed.

“Your beauty,” he mumbled against his wife’s skin.

“Sounds like an excuse to me,” she giggled, as his mouth trailed down her neck.

“Perhaps a rematch is in order then,” he said, lifting his lips from her body and meeting her eyes.

“Maybe so,” she agreed. “I’ll give you this though. You made good on your promise.”

“And what promise was that?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Emma grinned. “Every time you jab me with your sword, I definitely feel it.”

Killian laughed and kissed her again.

…

It was nearly noon by the time they made it onto the Jolly Roger. The twins helped Killian ready the ship and soon they were sailing away from Storybrooke. Once they were far enough out, Killian dropped anchor. He handed each child a fishing pole and they hurried to the side of the ship. Emma and Killian watched the twins as they waited for a bite.

“Can you believe we made them?” Emma asked.

Killian put his arm around his wife’s shoulders. “Sometimes it’s hard to believe.”

“They’re a product of our true love,” she said.

Killian pressed a kiss to her temple. “Sometimes it’s hard to believe that this life we have built together, this family, is real. These years we have spent together have been the happiest of my life.”

Emma nodded. “Mine too. I love our life. I love our family.” She paused and then met his gaze. “What would you say to adding another little pirate or princess to it?”

Killian raised his brow and then grinned. “I’d say that making the two we already have was an awful lot of fun. I certainly enjoy the process.”

Emma took his hand in hers and brought it to her belly. “And what if I told you that the fun we so frequently have has already produced another little pirate or princess?”

Killian’s eyes grew wide in shock. “You mean…we’re…you’re...you’re with child? We’re going to have another baby?”

Emma nodded, a smile spreading across her lips. “Yes,” she whispered.

Killian’s lips gave way to a huge grin. He pulled his wife into his arms and pressed a kiss to her lips. He then looked into her eyes.

“You are an incredible mother, love. I can’t wait to bring another child into this world with you.”

Emma felt tears fill her eyes. “You are an amazing father, Killian. This adventure certainly hasn’t been easy, but I have loved every minute of it with you. I can’t wait to see what comes next!”

They kissed again, but were soon interrupted by their children.

“Mom! Dad! Come quick!” they screamed.

Emma and Killian parted and ran over to their children.

“Liam has something on his line,” Leia said.

Liam pulled on the rod as the line jerked back and forth.

“That’s it, lad. You’ve got it,” Killian said. “Now reel it in.”

Liam held on tightly, as he reeled the line in. Their eyes widened as he pulled and a huge striped bass leapt out of the water. Liam kept reeling it in and then pulled again, dropping the fish onto the deck.

“Bloody hell! It’s massive! It must weigh at least 10 pounds!” Killian said in disbelief.

“Great job, honey!” Emma said, giving him a hug.

Leia smiled at her twin and then lifted her hand to high five him. “Awesome job, Liam!”

Liam grinned proudly and slapped his sister’s hand. “Thanks!”

Killian picked the fish up. “I think we’ve got breakfast for tomorrow.”

His wife and children scrunched up their noses and replied, “Yuck!”

Killian shook his head. “It’s good for you. Not like those toaster tarts you all insist on eating.”

“They’re called Pop Tarts, Dad,” Leia corrected.

“Whatever their name, they are absolute rubbish,” he said.

Emma and the twins simply shook their heads and laughed.

…

They fished until the sun began to set. All four cuddled up close on the bench Killian had built for them, as they watched the sun turn the sky into a rainbow of colors. Killian wrapped his arm around his wife. Leia rested her head in her mother’s lap, as Liam did the same in his father’s. Soon, the children drifted off to sleep.

Emma looked up at her husband. “So what do you think? You think we can handle another one? We’ve already got our hands full with these two.”

Killian nodded. “I think there isn’t anything we can’t do as long as we do it together.”

Emma sucked in a breath, her expression suddenly growing serious. “I think we’ve been spoiled these last couple of years, Killian. We’ve been villain-less and curse-free. It’s made things easier. But this is Storybrooke. That could change at any moment.”

Killian nodded and pressed a kiss to her hair. “Aye, love. And whatever comes our way, we will deal with together.”

Neither had any way of knowing that the very next day their lives would change forever.

…

The next morning, Killian went to retrieve the newspaper from the front lawn. He had just picked it up when his eyes caught sight of something down the street. His mouth dropped open at what was before him. Killian turned and ran into his house.

“Emma!” he screamed.

Emma came running down the stairs, her eyes widening at the fear etched across her husband’s features.

“Killian? What is it? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know exactly, but it looks as if there’s a curse coming. There’s an enormous blanket of blue smoke heading this way.”

“Oh my God. I have to warn my parents,” she said, heading to retrieve her phone.

Killian gently grabbed her elbow, stopping her movement.

“There’s no time, love. It will be here any moment,” he said.

Emma squeezed her eyes closed and sucked in a calming breath.

“Leia! Liam!” Emma called, as she cradled her stomach with her hand.

The twins scampered down the stairs and came to stand before their parents.

“What?” they asked in unison.

Their parents knelt before them. Emma cupped Liam’s face, as Killian did the same to Leia.

“There’s a curse coming. It will be here any minute,” Emma said.

Tears immediately filled their children’s eyes. The fear suddenly present in them broke their hearts.

“What is it going to do?” Leia asked softly.

“We don’t know, sweetheart,” Killian replied.

“Will it separate us?” Liam asked, his voice trembling.

Emma and Killian exchanged a look. They had always been honest with their children.

Emma slowly nodded. “It might,” she said.

“No!” they screamed, as tears began to stream down their cheeks.

Emma and Killian pulled their children close to them, rubbing their backs soothingly.

“Shh, loves, it’s going to be okay,” Killian said comfortingly.

“Your father is right,” Emma said, as they pulled back and looked at their parents. “We have been through alot and we always find our way back to each other. No matter what happens, hold onto that. And always remember we love you.”

Emma and Killian hugged and kissed their children one last time. Then they stood and faced each other.

“I love you,” Killian said, as he blinked back tears.

“I love you,” Emma replied, her voice cracking with emotion.

Killian placed his hand on her stomach. “No matter what happens, I will always be with you. I will always be by your side, even if you can’t see me.”

Emma cupped his face and stood on her toes as she brought her lips to his. Tears streamed down their cheeks as they kissed. When they parted, their foreheads remained touching.

“If we are separated again, then we will find our way back to each other. Nothing has ever stopped us before and nothing ever will,” she said.

“Aye, love, I’ll never stop fighting to get back to you and our family,” he vowed.

Emma sucked in a breath and wiped at her cheeks with the back of her hand. She swallowed roughly and then quickly moved to the table by the door. She grabbed a Sharpie out of a cup on the table and returned to stand in front of her husband.

“Give me your hand,” she ordered.

Killian extended his hand, palm up.

“What are you doing, Swan?”

“Something to remember me by,” she whispered.

Emma wrote with the Sharpie across his palm: Forever Yours. Love, Emma.

She met his gaze. “These curses have a way of wiping our memories. If that happens, and assuming this remains on your hand, I want you to know that somewhere there is someone who loves you and is waiting for you to get back to them.”

Killian smiled sadly and kissed her again. Then he took the Sharpie and lifted her hand with his hook. He was about to write the same thing across her palm when the blue cloud enveloped their home. Emma and the children became frozen to their spots, while Killian disappeared.

…

Killian’s head was pounding. He felt like he had consumed an entire barrel of rum. He felt the warm sun on his face and the hard ground on his back. Slowly, he pried his eyes open. He was met with the sky, which seemed to be spinning. His body ached, as he finally managed to lift himself into a sitting position on the sidewalk. Killian rested against the brick building behind him, as he took a deep breath.

Where in bloody hell was he?

He stretched his legs and arms, trying to determine if he was injured in anyway. His eyes moved to his left hand, his brow furrowing at it for some unknown reason, as if it didn’t belong to him. His gaze traveled to his other hand and he flexed it. His brow wrinkled curiously as he noticed something was written on his palm. He held his hand up in front of his face.

“Forever Yours. Love, Emma,” he read aloud.

Emma. Emma. The name rolled around in his head. He felt his heart skip a beat and his breath catch in his chest at the sight of it.

He didn’t know who Emma was or why exactly her name elicited such a reaction in him, but he knew that she must love him and that she must be waiting for him somewhere.

Slowly, he stood, a determination he couldn’t explain boiling up inside of him. Deep inside of him, he knew he had to get back to her. Someway, somehow.

...THE END...

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. Please consider taking a moment to let me know what you thought. ~Steph

#cs one shot #cs future fic #cs spec fic #cs ff #cs fanfics #cs fic #captain swan fic #captain swan fanfiction #captain swan fanfics #captain swan ff #cs family #cs married #swan jones family #cs future #cs #captain swan

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tnlph · 8 years ago

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Two years ago today I had brain surgery. And sometimes I get stupidly emotional about it. I think "why? I survived. I'm fine. Any side effects I have are so minor I should be glad and get over it." and then I'll talk to a doctor and they'll say "hey, you went through a pretty major event and even though everything is okay, the experience fucks you up and you're a little scrambled physically and emotionally." They say at three years you're as healed as you're ever going to be. 2 down. 1 to go. Here's where you guys come in. I hadn't joined tumblr yet, but CS got me through that period of my life. I was devouring FF over on FF. Net, and stalking Instagram for photos. I honestly don't know what I would have done without Once and CS to get me through that period of time from the diagnosis to surgery and through the recovery. And then I found Tumblr and it became so much more than a show and a ship. It became a whole world of kindred spirits. You guys have supported me in ways you can't even understand and I truly appreciate it. I know people will start to fade out. It's inevitable. But for me, the time I've had here with you guys has been amazing and I want to make it last as long as possible. Who knows what OUaT will bring? Who knows what new obsessions we'll find? But for now I appreciate that we found each other.

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flslp87 · 8 years ago

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Having a baby can bring every emotion from exhilaration to terror. Come along on the journey with Emma and Killian as they experience all the emotions that creating a new life can elicit. Chapter 1- Pregnant -Emma’s POV - here, Chapter 2 - Pregnant - Killian’s POV - here, Chapter 3 - First Doctor’s Visit - Emma’s POV - here, Chapter 4 -First Doctor’s Visit- Killian’s POV - here, Chapter 5 -Heartbeat - Emma’s POV - here, Chapter 6 - Heartbeat - Killian’s POV - here ; Chapter 7 - First Movement - here; Chapter 8 - Ultrasound - here; Chapter 9 - Cravings - here; Chapter 10 - Delivery - here.

Can be found on FF. Net and AO3.

word count ~4600 Rating - K+

Killian looked out the window, watching his Swan climb into that yellow contraption she liked and drive off down the road. Sighing at her stubbornness, he turned to the kitchen where Henry was finishing his usual morning Pop-Tarts, "You need anything else, lad?"

"She okay?" he asked instead.

"Aye lad, she's fine. Just being Emma."

"Stubborn, you mean?"

Killian laughed, "That she is, but I was thinking more along the lines of 'savior' Emma. The Emma who doesn't like to burden others with what she perceives as a problem."

Henry sat there a minute contemplating what had been said and finally as if accepting there was nothing he could do, cleaned up his plate and ran upstairs to get his things for school.

Killian wiped down the table, grabbed his jacket and walked the lad to the bus stop. "See you after school," he called as Henry climbed on.

As the bus drove around the bend, Killian felt a vibration in his pocket and pulling out his phone, was surprised to see Emma's mother's picture flashing on the screen. "Milady, is there trouble?"

"No, Killian, nothing like that. I just wanted to tell you what happened with Emma as she just left Granny's."

"How was her appetite today? Lately, it's been hit or miss, with days where she eats well and then turns a pale shade of green and dashes off to the lavatory.”

Snow clucked sympathetically, "Poor thing. Well if it's anything like when I was carrying Neal, it will last a few more weeks. Just continue doing what you're doing."

After saying their goodbyes Killian hung up the phone and started walking toward the docks, deciding a day spent on the Jolly Roger was just what he needed. As he walked he thought back on what Whale had reminded him of outside of Granny's one day over a month ago

......Just remember that this medication may negate any oral protection so to be safe, you may want to take other precautions during relations....

And they had, mostly. However, if he were honest with himself, there were a few times when they were out of the house and they were in too much of a hurry to give it more than a passing thought. Maybe he should have tried harder to remember, but this was Emma, and he had never been good at resisting her. Perhaps they had known what might happen and hadn't cared. Whatever the reason, he couldn't regret any action on their part. The only regret was the fear he suspected was holding his Swan back from acceptance. Thinking a gentle push might be necessary, he set about making a plan. He was a pirate after all. cs~cs~cs

His phone rang again just as he had climbed onto the Jolly Roger and was staring out to sea, but this time it was Emma's father's face blinking at him, "Dave, you calling to report on my wife too?"

David laughed, "Actually I am. I think today is worse than other days this week. It's a good thing I've been through this before as she's a might scary."

"Aye, my wife has a formidable temper. How do you think she came by that?"

"Touché Hook. But that's not why I called. Emma's in the bathroom again, been in there every day this week. What are you going to do about it?"

"I plan to give her a little push in hopes that she'll share with me."

David started to say something else but suddenly said, "I've got to go - she's coming out now."

Killian turned off the device and forcibly shoved it in his pocket, before kicking a loose pebble across the deck of the ship. He needed her to open up about this, and while he knew she would come to him when she was ready, he hoped it would be soon.

Feeling very grateful that he had confided his fears to her, no, their family and they had been there to give him advice was what had helped him maintain some semblance of normalcy during the past month. What fear Emma must be feeling to keep all this bottled up, he could only imagine, and stress couldn't be good for the baby or for his Swan. Dropping down the stairs into his cabin, he fell onto what had been his bed of many years and recalled that conversation with her father. He had been sitting at the table outside of Granny’s lost in his thoughts when he heard:

"Hook, why are you out here all alone?"

Taking a drink from his flask, which he rarely did these days, he looked up at the prince, and quipped, "Because I'm alone?"

David dropped down into a chair across from him, "I can see that. The question is why are you alone?"

Killian scratched his neck with his hook, "I needed some fresh air," he answered snidely.

Laughing David answered, "First disagreement as a married man?"

"There was no disagreement that I am aware of. One minute Emma was fine and then the next she burst into tears and ran upstairs. When I inquired as to what was troubling her, she yelled go away. I was not aware I had caused her despair.”

David didn't say anything for a moment and then he tossed out there, "Sounds just like her mother when she was pregnant."

Killian's mouth dropped open, "Pregnant?"

"Yes, you know, with child," David started to say before noticing that it hadn't been a question asked to him, but one Hook had been asking himself. "Is it possible?" "You know I'd never kiss and tell," he joked before quieting to think about the possibility. "Should this be true, besides these emotional fluctuations, what else might I notice?"

The prince squirmed on the hard seat, not all that comfortable with the question because while Killian had earned his trust and respect, this was his daughter they were discussing. But taking pity on the man, he began, "If she is like her mother, you will feel like you are constantly into and out of a storm. For the first few months, you will not know how to respond and responses that brought a smile one day might bring tears the next."

"That sounds right and it's bloody awful. What can I do to ease her discomfort?"

David squirmed a little, "That's the frustration for the father. There's not a damn thing we can do now. Just love her and hold her when she allows it. But watch out and not too tight because," and he made a face, "tender parts I was told."

"Aye those I notice when we...,"

"Ah, ah ah, no further, please." He held up his hand to stop the conversation.

"Sorry mate, right." He hesitated and asked quietly, "Is it normal to feel helpless?"

"That's very normal and I'm sure will happen several times over the next few months." He sat there for a few minutes before asking, "Do you think she suspects?"

Killian smiled at him, but by the look in his eyes, he was far away, "Aye I believe she suspects. I've seen her rubbing her stomach, staring at Henry several times, but the look on her face I see is still fear."

"Give her time, Killian. She's come a long way but inside she sometimes still feels like that lost little girl who was too scared to hope."

"I'm a patient man, as you well know. I'll give her all the time she needs." He frowned as he thought of another question. "In this realm, how does one discover they are with child?"

David thought back to his cursed self when Katherine had brought home a test, "There's a little stick that they purchase at the store and it tells them."

Killian frowned, "And just how does a small stick tell them they are with child?"

"That I'm not quite sure about but I hear it's accurate."

"Maybe Emma will look into this. I just hope soon." Killian stood up, "Your information has been most insightful. I thank you."

"No problem. Snow and I consider you family. Let us know if we can be of help." Killian remembered thinking about what he had learned from his talk with Emma's father. That his happy ending was no longer just about having Emma and her family, but also about having a child of his own. How did he get so fortunate?

Knowing that Henry would soon be home, Killian made sure the Jolly Roger was secure and made his way home. His agenda for the evening involved giving his Swan some support in hopes that she would let go of her walls and finally share with him so they could celebrate, together. cs~cs~cs

Arriving home just as Henry got off the bus, Killian followed him into the kitchen and watched him search for something to tide him over until time for the evening meal. "Something specific you wish to have for the evening meal?" Henry stopped his scavenging long enough to ponder the question, "Maybe tacos? I know they are easy and Mom usually likes them." That being said, he picked up an apple and a banana and disappeared upstairs with a call me if you need me tossed over his shoulder. Killian was left standing in the kitchen thinking about tacos, and how they had them one night the previous week and that Emma had taken one bite before disappearing into the bathroom. Obviously, baby had issues with them. Should he use them for a subtle push? Hearing her car drive up, he looked out the window to see her lean her head on the steering part of her vessel. "Poor thing," he whispered. "Please Swan, lean on me," he said as she started the walk into the house. Killian met her as she opened the door, "Swan, you're just in time to choose what we have for dinner. I thought chicken, the lad suggested tacos. So, what shall it be?" He knew immediately that the combination turned her stomach as she brushed by him in a hurry to make it to the powder room slamming the door in his face.

Hearing her retching behind the locked door was almost enough to cause him to knock it down but the thought of Emma's reaction should he do that was enough to allow him a simple knock on the door. "Swan?" He called just before she opened the door and walked into his arms. Standing there with her having come to him willingly felt so wonderful, he had to bite his tongue to keep himself from saying something that might upset her. He felt her relax and tightened his hold to keep her upright, but when he heard her hiss in pain, immediately felt guilt and loosened his hold. Leaning back he waited for her to look up, "Emma, your father called earlier today and said you weren't yourself. Don't you think it's time you shared your burden?" Her face immediately took on that caged look and he knew he had pushed too fast tonight, especially when her tears spilled over and she ran up the stairs away from him. Hearing the upstairs door shut and the water turn on, he knew she was climbing into a warm bath to try to soak away her worries and would probably not be back down again. Needing something to do, he settled for warming some soup and making her a sandwich, which he left for her next to their bed. "You may think you can run from this, Swan, but I will always find you," he whispered to the closed bathroom door as he walked back down the stairs. Killian was putting away the remains of the soup when Henry walked into the kitchen, "She’s still not ready to share with you is she?" Killian took a deep breath and after setting a sandwich and milk in front of the lad, sat down next to him, "Aye, lad, she's scared, but she's coming round." "How can you be so sure?" Smiling gently, Killian took a bite of his sandwich so Henry would do the same. Once he swallowed he offered as best an explanation as he could, "When you love someone you just know." "And you really love her, don't you?" "Aye, son, I really do." Henry finished his sandwich and put his plate in the sink. As he turned to walk out of the room, he stopped next to where Killian was sitting, "Mom's going to have a baby isn't she?" Killian's breath caught in his throat, as he knew that Swan would have wanted to be the one to tell him, but when he looked into the lad's concerned face he knew he couldn't keep this from him any longer, "Aye, Henry she is. I'm sorry you had to find out this way as I am sure your mother would have wanted to tell you herself." Killian felt Henry put his hand on his shoulder, "I'm glad I know so I can be here if she needs me." "I know your mother would appreciate hearing that." "Oh, and Killian?" "Aye?" "I'm here for you too, after all, you are family." Killian smiled after the boy as he went back upstairs to finish his homework. He had come a long way in the short time they had known each other. A boy any mother would be proud to call her son. Thinking about Emma's son made him wonder, would his baby be a boy? One with his dark hair, blue eyes, and his Swan's spirit. Or would he have a daughter, a little lass with the blonde hair and green eyes of his Swan? He didn't care as long as he, or she, was healthy. Shutting off the lights, he wearily climbed the stairs to the room he shared with his wife. Seeing that she was asleep in her place in the middle of the bed, he shed his clothes and after climbing into bed, moved behind her and pulled her back against his body and whispered, "I love you, Swan. I’m here for you," before drifting off to sleep.

cs~cs~cs

The next morning, he came awake slowly, and with Emma still asleep slid out of bed and went down to see Henry off to school. Hoping she would sleep a few hours later than normal he was disappointed when he heard the shower start, quickly stop and then heard her walking down the stairs.

"Good morning, love, shall I make you something to eat?"

She looked like she was about to argue with him but finally relented, "Maybe just some dry toast and juice?"

He pulled out a chair for her to sit down, kissed her on the head and went about making her two pieces of dry toast and pouring her a small glass of apple juice since orange seemed to upset her stomach. "Here, Swan, eat up."

Knowing she would be uncomfortable if he were to watch over her too closely, he busied himself around the kitchen but surreptitiously kept an eye on her and was satisfied when she finished her meal without running from the table.

As she got up to leave for the day, he held her coat out and with a hug and a kiss let her go. "Have a good day. Shall I bring you lunch?"

She didn't answer right away, but with reluctance finally responded, "No, that's ok. I might meet my mom for a quick lunch if she's not busy."

"Alright then, you will call me if you change your mind?"

"I will." One last kiss and he let her go, closing the door before she drove off.

She hadn't been gone long when he received a call from an unknown number and when he answered it, Leroy was on the other end. "Pirate, that you?"

"Aye, dwarf, what do you want?"

Grumpy bellowed, "It's the savior. She left town!"

Killian frowned and tried to make sense out of what he was hearing. "Emma's left town?"

"That's what I said. The savior's left town." He shouted again.

Without saying anything else Killian turned off the phone, put it in his pocket and left the house. Why would Emma be leaving Storybrooke? He knew she was scared and that her past self might have tried to run, but the woman she was now wouldn't take that path. His Swan was a fighter, sometimes she just needed a little reminder.

Without realizing where he was headed, he ended up at her parents’ loft. The door opened before he had even knocked and he looked up into the face of Emma's father.

"Killian? What's going on? Come in." David let him in just as Snow was coming down the stairs.

"Killian?" She moved to stand next to her husband.

Killian looked from one to the other, "It's Emma. Leroy called and said she drove out of Storybrooke." He rubbed his hand over his face, before asking with fear in his voice, "Why would she drive out of Storybrooke?"

Snow walked over to him, took his hand in hers and drew him over to the table where she pushed him down into a chair, "Killian, look at me," she said quietly. "She loves you. She loves Henry, and David and I and her life in Storybrooke. There has to be a logical explanation. She'll be back."

The conviction in her voice that there was a good reason for Emma's trip, helped decrease some of the fear he could feel bubbling just under the surface. "Think she could be going to see a doctor?"

"Possible," David told him.

And Snow finished, "But improbable." She smiled at him. "Does she have a lotion or a food that she can only buy outside of town?"

Unable to sit any longer, Killian stood up and moved across the room. "Don't you think I have asked myself that same question?" He leaned against the counter wanting to hit something, but not willing to completely lose his temper at the moment.

The clock ticking in the background reminded him that he had been there a while. "I should go," he started to say, but before he could finish a call came in and seeing that it was Leroy, he quickly answered. As he listened to what the dwarf had to say, he couldn't keep the smile off his face. Hanging up he answered the question before they could voice it, "Emma's back and at the station. Seems Leroy questioned her actions," he smirked at that thought, "but she told him she bought some lady things.”

David kissed Snow, "I'm going to head into the station so I can keep an eye on her." And then he was gone.

"Do you have any idea what she might have picked up?" Killian asked Snow.

She smiled at him, "Let's just say this. I think the time for this family to celebrate is almost here."

"I hope you're right."

"I think I am. Why don't you see what you can do regarding operation Give a Little Push?"

Killian gave her a little bow, "Your advice is much appreciated." He left the loft and on the way home decided that it was time to see what baby thought about grilled cheese and onion rings. Something told him the night would be interesting.

cs~cs~cs

Arriving home, realizing Henry was with Regina for the night, caused him to feel at loose ends. Unable to settle, he found himself roaming through the house, noticing the special touches that Emma had gathered and set around to make it their home, not just her home. Hearing her coming up the front steps, he met her just as she opened the door. "Hello, love," he kissed her gently. Do you feel up to accompanying me to Granny's for our evening meal?" While he waited for her answer he allowed his want and need to reach his eyes, and when she kissed him lightly and responded with, "That sounds great. Let me change," he allowed himself to relax for the first time all day. "Do you need some help?" He wagged his eyebrows at her playfully. Her answer brought a smile to his face and as she ran upstairs to change, he contacted Granny, preordering what normally was her favorite meal, hoping that they could have a relaxing dinner with no interferences. Walking into Granny's they found a booth in the back, and because he had a need to be close to her he slid in next to her instead of across the table. "Oh this is new," she whispered as she leaned her head against his shoulder. Looking into her beautiful face, he noticed she had dark smudges under her eyes and as he rubbed his fingers along her jawline, leaned in to whisper, "I've missed you." He hoped that she understood that his words had many meanings, and not just that he had missed her today. Her smile told him that she understood completely and when she answered he really wanted to kiss her but was interrupted by the arrival of the waitress with their food. Emma looked at her food and then at him, "Wait a minute, I don't remember ordering." Hoping he hadn't overstepped his bounds he responded, "Since you always order the same thing, I called ahead so it would be ready. I hope that's alright." Watching her sit there and stare at the sandwich as if she had never seen one before, he worried. "Eat up, love," he said as he dipped an onion ring in ketchup and ran it along her bottom lip until she opened her mouth and took a bite. When she smiled at him and started chewing, he set the rest on her plate and concentrated on his own food. The meal continued quietly for quite some time, and as she was finishing her sandwich he was feeling confident that this had been a good idea when suddenly she pushed against him, with panic in her voice. "Killian, let me out." He slid out of the booth and held his hand out to her. "Alright, love?" Emma barely glanced at him before turning toward the lady’s room, and tossing over her shoulder, "Fine. I'll be right back." Feeling helpless he made a move to follow her but had only taken a step before, Granny put a hand on his arm, "Stay. I'll check on her." While she was gone, he took care of the bill and waited next to their booth. She looked pale and he wanted nothing more than to take her pain and send it far away, so with a, "Come, Swan, let's get you to bed," he led her out, tossing a silent thank you to Granny as they walked past. Once back home, he stood quietly by as she changed, and after she had climbed into bed, pulled the blanket up around her shoulders. "Sleep, love. I'll just shut off the lights and be right up." Walking back down the stairs, he poured a splash of rum and took it out onto the porch, wondering what he was missing; wondering if she was any closer to allowing him in so they could face their fear together.

cs~cs~cs

Being a light sleeper, he felt Emma lift his arm and slide out of bed. Hearing the bathroom door close, he sat up, pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms he kept next to the bed and walked quietly into the hallway. Deciding to give her a few minutes, he leaned against the wall and waited. When she opened the door, she was pale, scared and in shock, he thought. Seeing him, she backed into the bathroom and pointed down at the stick still on the counter before breathing out quietly, "We're pregnant." Feeling so relieved his knees almost gave way, he smiled at her tenderly and waited for her to find her voice. Thankfully he didn't have to wait long until she asked, "How can you be so calm?" He moved closer to her and pulled her into his arms. "I knew. I was just waiting for you to share." And then he pulled back far enough to see her face, "How do you feel?" "Scared, excited, freaked, elated, panicked, happy, shall I go on?" "Why scared, love?" "Killian what do I know about babies? What's more, what do you know about babies?" Just as he suspected, his brave lass was worried that she might not be able to do something new. “I've never seen you fail, why would you start now? And what we don't know, we'll learn together. Our child is very blessed to have you as its mother." He meant every word he said to her and hoped she knew that he would always be there and she would never be alone. When she started weeping uncontrollably in his arms, he picked her up and carried her to their bedroom. Sitting on the side of the bed, he tucked her body against his and let her release all the fear and anxiety she had been carrying alone for too long. He could tell immediately when she had made peace with her feelings as her body relaxed completely against his. She nuzzled her face into the bend between his neck and shoulder, "When did you know?" His foolish Swan, thinking he wouldn't know when something important was happening with her, he smiled, "Would you believe me if I said I knew right away?" She leaned back in his arms and rolled her eyes, "Seriously? You're going to go with that?" He cupped her jaw, wiping the tears away with his thumb, "You don't think that the father can know these things?" Opening and closing her mouth several times she finally responded, "I'm not even sure when it happened, how can you be?" Pulling her closer against his chest he said quietly, "Remember when you were ill a few months ago and took that pastille that Dr. Whale gave you?" Emma hummed in agreement. "Do you remember what he said to us when he handed me the bottle?" Emma frowned trying to remember the specific words, "Something about being careful, right?" "Aye, love, he said we would have to use extra precautions during relations and I can remember a few times when we..." She put her hand over his mouth before he could elaborate, "I remember those times, they were hot." And when she giggled his heart took flight. "I'm sorry I waited so long to take the test," she continued, "Forgive me for being scared?" "There's nothing to forgive. Are you truly happy?" Her smile told him all he needed to know, but worried about his feelings, she answered, "Are you?" Showing her that he too could be a man of action, he kissed her, pouring all of his love and passion into the kiss as he maneuvered them horizontally. "Having a family with you is something I thought of but never dared to hope would come true. Now shall I show you properly how happy I am?" Waiting not so patiently for her to give him an answer, he kissed her on one cheek and then on the other, before hovering above her lips. Her response had barely left her mouth before his lips met hers and all worries faded for both as time stood still in their little corner of the world.

~fin

#cs ff #captain swan ff canon #cs baby #cs pregnancy #cs mafia

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canwetalkaboutcaptainswan · 8 years ago

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280 Days

Finally finally the fic you all requested...Pregnant!Emma galore. It’s a long one folks. I hope you enjoy it!!

@justcheckingstuffcs @dark-ones-dont-need-sleep @losttalongthewayy @leatherjacketsandrum @mrandmrsswan @naiariddle @raggedyclaraa @mayquita @thegladelf @flslp87 @onceuponiwishmytime @galadriel26 @captainswanslay @captainswan710 @allofthismatters @mxltifandoms @caaptain-swan @jennjenn615 @kmomof4 @justcheckingstuffcs @blowmiakisscolin

Don’t forget, if I missed you in the tags, just shoot me a message and I’ll tag you from now on. And if you just got here, this piece is a companion piece to this, but you could still enjoy it if you haven’t read anything from the Nth Time Series.(But if you want to read all the parts, just go to my blog and check the cs ff tag.)

Enjoy this big fat heaping dose of CS family fluff!

~ Jenn

*************************************************

~ Day 78

She hates it. She forgot how much actually being pregnant sucks. 280 days of pure, undiluted torture. She’s queasy in the mornings and sweaty at night and she’s only known she’s pregnant for two weeks but god, it already feels like it’s been an eternity. Today is especially bad because this morning she woke up and she wanted eggs and Killian, of course, because this is Killian, made her eggs but then the smell made her sick, which made him feel bad which made her feel bad which made her cry which made him feel even worse which made her feel even worse. And her belly is already so round and in charge, and god, she’s 11 weeks pregnant and how dare her stupid perfect husband pump her full of so many babies?!

~ Day 83

They find an obstetrician that specializes in multiples at a Children’s hospital in Boston. The drive there is a little too far for Killian’s liking (45 minutes, 40 if you speed) but Emma assures him that it’s worth it and that she’d rather make the drive than trust Frankenstein to deliver their twins. Their first visit there is a Tuesday, and they’re delightfully surprised when the friendly obstetrician offers to get out her ultrasound machine. It’s the first time Killian’s seen the babies and he’s transfixed on the screen, watching those little blobs dance with the happiest of expressions. He cries when he hears their heartbeats for the first time, and before they leave, Dr. Cameron whispers to Emma about how lucky she is to have such a supportive partner. “Oh believe me,” she agrees, offering a smile, “there’s no way I could do this with anyone but him."

~ Day 90

Today is lovely in every sense of the word. It’s a lazy day, that Saturday, a perfect day off. Emma sleeps in and misses the morning sail, waking only to the patter of little 3-year old feet and the feeling of sea salt dusted lips against her hairline. She opens her eyes just as Leia clambers up on the bed, intent on telling the babies about her morning even though they can’t hear her really, not yet. “The wind was perfect, little loves,” the three year-old explains, and Emma watches Killian quietly sigh on account of Leia’s now-perfect “L” sounds. His only consolation is that his heart is warmed by the fact that she’s mastered the sound by using her own special nickname on her brothers ("or sisters, Killian.” “No, Swan.").

~ Day 112

There’s a crisis. What a surprise. Some villain with an ample supply of magic knock-out powder is going from shop to shop in town, taking money from the tills. Granny and Gold were both found unconscious, and August had been hit with the powder at the top of a staircase, which he’d then fallen down and broken a leg and a collarbone. Enough was enough and it was time to catch the bandit. Emma scurries around the house, fetching her jacket and loading her gun before snapping it into the holster. She’d had to expand the buckle on the thing to accommodate for her expanding girth already. (Ugh, are you kidding me?) She's pissed because it's her day off and now she has this to deal with. Her and Killian had been having a much needed nap together while Leia played with Henry, and it nearly killed her to leave his arms. Killian follows her around the house as she readies herself, and one look at his face lets her know something's bothering him. She goes to the front door to put on her boots, and he trails behind, busying himself with straightening the rest of the shoes in the foyer while she ties her laces. “Hey,” she says when she's finished, reaching for him, “I won’t be long, okay? Gunna nab this asshole and then my dad can deal with him. I’ll be back in no time to finish our nap.”

Killian takes a deep breath but forces a smile. Still, Emma can see that it doesn't reach his eyes, and can tell he’s unsettled inside. Unfortunately there's no time for her to figure it out now, as she really does have to go. He leans down and kisses her forehead. “Aye. Be…just be careful, Swan, alright?”

She nods, kissing his cheek before darting out the front door and going down the porch steps, toward the bug. She reaches into her pocket to retrieve her phone, intent on calling her dad and figuring out where they should start searching for this bastard. But before she can dial, she hears the front door open behind her. She spins, expecting it to be Leia wanting to say goodbye to her, but it isn’t. Killian is standing on the front porch, a heartbreaking expression of desperation etched on his face as he gazes at her. Well actually, she realizes, he isn’t really gazing at her, but rather at the small protrusion underneath her jacket that’s currently housing his two tiny humans.

“Please don’t go, Swan,” he says then, and the words are a quiet, desperate plead.

Understanding floods Emma almost instantly, and she mentally kicks herself because how had she failed to realize before the obvious reason why he looked so terrified?

“Oh Killian, I won’t,” she says automatically, and she immediately steps toward him, releasing her hold on her phone. Killian exhales in obvious relief and rushes toward her, meeting her at the bottom of the porch and pulling her into his arms. She wraps her own arms around him tightly, carding her fingers through his hair to soothe him.

He nuzzles against her ear. “I’m sorry, love. I know you can handle yourself, but I was just afraid that-“

“Hey, hey hey. Don’t be sorry, Killian, you’re right. I love you so much, okay? I’m not going anywhere. We’re all right here.”

He exhales again, nodding against her, and she still feels guilty for even considering endangering their unborn children. What if she’d been knocked out? Or fallen down a flight of stairs like August? She shudders in his arms at the mere thought, and does her best to throw all that out of her head. She’s safe here, he has her. “C’mon,” she smiles gently, nodding toward the house, “I’ll call my dad and we’ll resume our nap.”

~ Day 120

"Do you know how amazing you are?” he asks her one night when they’re settled intimately in their bathtub, Leia asleep, candles lit and bubbles abounding. Her back is pressed against his chest and his hand is settled under the water against her belly, her abdominal muscles quivering as he circles her navel with his pinkie finger. They’re cheek to stubbled cheek, so she’s sure he can feel the heat of her blush.

“Hmm,” she hums quietly, unsure of how to respond to his grandiose, complimentary statement.

“You’re just constantly amazing me, my love. First I got to watch you learn to be a mother to a little boy who is now our beautiful, astute young man. And then I got to watch you fiercely deliver our little screaming daughter into the world and have the pleasure of helping you raise her to be the perfect little ray of light that she is. And now here we are again, you’re blessing me with the greatest gift again, of carrying not one more but two more little creatures whom I already love so desperately that it makes me half-crazed. I’d have nothing if not for you, Emma Swan-Jones. You quite literally rooted me up from a place where I had nothing and you gave me everything. And I love you so, so much. So much.”

Emma just stares at him, tears gathering bountifully in her eyes. “...okay, well. I have absolutely no idea how to follow that speech, so I guess I’ll just kiss you now, okay?” she tries.

Killian just beams at her, the love in his gaze setting fire to her skin. “Okay,” he whispers.

~ Day 126

The paint is cold, but it feels nice. She's sprawled out on a hammock she let Leia conjure in their creepy-basement-turned-multi-purpose space, her belly jutting out proudly towards the ceiling. It's splattered with patterns of blues and pinks, Leia's paintbrush sweeping smoothly in a rhythmic motion that's halfway lulling her to sleep. Killian sits nearby in a lazy boy, yet another book about raising multiples perched on his lap. Noticing her mother’s eyes shut, Leia turns to her father. “How much longer until we can find out, Daddy?”

Killian smiles widely at his daughter’s artwork before looking at her. “Just two more weeks now, little love. I promise.”

~Day 140

No matter how hard anyone tries, the piñata just will not bust open. The backyard is all but packed to the max, literally all of Storybrooke having gathered for the grand celebration. Pink and blue decorations a la Mary Margaret are everywhere, and all that stands between everyone and the truth is a giant, pirate-ship-shaped piñata. All the kids - Leia, Robyn, Neal, Alexandra, Finley, etc - have been taking turns whacking the thing for the past half hour. Henry even took a mean swing, followed by Charming. But still, nothing. Killian is all but vibrating with excitement, swallowing curses every time somebody hits it.

“Why are you so nervous?” Emma elbows him playfully, oddly feeling calm despite the gravity of this situation. “You’ve said from day 1 you know they’re boys.”

“Aye, Swan, but it’s been a bloody eternity. I need that candy to fall so I can be certain.”

Emma clasps his shaking hand, rubbing the back of it with her thumb. “Patience, grasshopper. I’m sure one of these times—”

They’re interrupted by a thunderous crack, Neal having hit the ship particularly hard this time. The piñata swings wildly and everyone’s eyes watch it in anticipation, and then there’s a collective groan when it simply swings to a stop, virtually unharmed. “Emma there has to be a better way,” Regina whines, throwing her hands in the air. “Can’t I just blast the damn thing with a fireball?”

“No, wait!” Leia interjects, throwing the bat Neal handed her to the grass and scampering over to her parents. “Daddy. Hook please?”

Emma laughs at her little firecracker’s drastic plan, and releases Killian’s hand so he can remove the hook from its holster. His face is a mask of suspense, and his fingers shake ever so slightly. Leia of course, doesn’t miss it. “Come with me, Daddy? We can do it together!”

A smile breaks out on his face as he hands Leia the curved metal, the sun glinting off it in the afternoon light. Leia holds it carefully and Killian scoops her up, unable to resist the urge to kiss her rosy little cheek. “My smart little pirate,” he chides her, striding towards the piñata. “Are you ready?”

Everyone falls quiet. Emma’s heart rate quickens as she watches Killian and Leia go, and she brings her hand to rest against her belly. Mary Margaret fusses for the rest of the kids to back up, and Killian catches Emma’s eye for a brief moment. “Love you,” he mouths.

“I love you too,” she mouths right back.

And all at once, Leia swings her arm and plunges the hook deep into the piñata, yanking fiercely. And suddenly, finally, there’s an outpouring of candy, and Emma rolls her eyes and smiles because every piece is blue.

~ Day 148

No matter how hard she tries, she just can’t stop crying. Leia’s spending the day with Killian and his brother and Henry’s at school, so it isn’t like her loud sobs echoing around in the empty house are bothering anyone. She’s curled up on Killian’s side of their bed, and she stares in anger at the book of baby boy names she’d just chucked across the room. The tears roll hotly down her cheeks as she tries to untangle the knot of frustration coiled in her chest. There’s still time, Emma. Don’t worry, Emma. Somehow you’ll come up with names for not one but two little boys, Emma. She tries and fails to calm herself. Why the fuck had naming Leia been so easy? It had been the first of 3 names either of them suggested and they both fell in love with it. Why couldn’t this be easy, too? A fresh sob escapes her throat and she reaches for her phone, jamming her fingers irrationally hard against the buttons as she dials. Killian answers on the first ring, concern all too thick in his tone when he hears her sniffling. “Swan, what’s wrong?!” he demands in a hurry.

“C-can you pl-please come home?” she stammers, immediately hating herself for sounding like the hormonal pregnant lady that she is, “I’m hungry and I need you and your sons both need names.”

~ day 165

“Woah, Mommy!” Leia exclaims, her little hands pressed against Emma’s tummy, “Do it again!”

“I can’t make them kick, Leiabear. Try talking to them. When Daddy would talk to you, you would go crazy in there.”

“Hi, baby boys,” Leia coos at Emma’s tummy. “Are you warm and cozy in there? You talk too, Mommy. They like you.”

“Hello in there, sweet boys,” Emma coos, and Leia squeals excitedly as the kicks start up again. “We love you so much, all of us out here.”

“We DO love you,” Leia agrees, patting the spots she felt kicks. She giggles infectiously, and Emma reaches up to tuck her wild hair back behind her ears.

The front door opens then, Killian having returned from his quick run to Granny’s. Leia screams for him the minute she hears the door click, not wanting him to miss out on the fun. “Daddy, come quick!”

Emma rolls her eyes and laughs as she hears Killian’s thunderous, rushed footsteps carrying him up the stairs to where his girls (and boys) are. “What’s wrong? What’s happening?!” he demands, his face frantic.

“Did you seriously leave my onion rings at the front door?!” Emma scolds him.

“The babies are kicking us!” Leia explains excitedly.

Killian gasps and rushes over to the bed, and Leia jumps to the side so he has room. “And I missed it?!” The horror and sadness in his tone makes Emma laugh while simultaneously making Leia visibly upset.

“It’s okay, Daddy. It’s okay. They’ll do it again, I promise. They kick really hard when Mommy talks. Talk, Mommy!”

Emma, feeling the slightest bit like some riveting zoo exhibit, heeds her daughter’s request. “Little babies,” she begins, and Killian hovers his hands over her belly, letting Leia show him where to place his palms. “Your Daddy’s home now, little loves. He rushed up here so fast he forgot our food downstairs. Say, ‘we’re hungry, Dad!’’

The furious kicking starts then, and Killian gasps and chuckles in delight. “My lads!” he exclaims, rubbing gently where he can feel the tiny pushes. “Do you love your Mummy’s voice oh so very much? Dare I say she’s your very first love?”

“Oh, you bet I am,” Emma teases him, and Killian winks at her.

“That’s alright,” he teases back, “They’re they only two men I’ll ever surrender you to.”

~ Day 175

Building cribs is more difficult than it looks. Killian had refused help from Emma’s father, determined to accomplish the task all on his own. He’s literally sweating, even after cracking open the boys’ nursery window and taking off his coat and shirt. Despite the difficulty, he’s almost done…assembling one of the two, at least. Just a few more screws to tighten in and it would be on to the second one. He daydreams to pass the time, thinking about how one day soon Emma will bring their boys into the world. He physically aches with the need to meet them, to see their sweet little faces, to hold them and love them and never let them go. At the same time, though, he doesn’t want to meet them quite yet, for he knows how important it is for them to stay inside Emma for as long as there’s room. Emma’s doing a wonderful job carrying them, he thinks to himself. Despite the fact that her back aches and she pees every half hour, to Killian she’s an utter vision, his love, the grandest beauty there ever was. He’s so lost in thought that he fails to notice that the object of his affections is leaning against the doorframe, grilled cheese for him balanced against the top of her bump.

Emma too, is lost in thought, gazing down at her sweaty, chiseled, half-naked pirate. He’s a mess of furrowed brow and rippling muscle, and she swears that if he tries to build the second crib before taking her to bed she’ll kill him.

~ Day 197

At one of their ultrasound appointments, their regular ultrasound technician Amy asks Emma if it would be alright if a student joined her and helped. Emma smiles at the student (who looks nervous and terrified) and assures her that she’s fine with it. Normally Killian sits right by Emma to watch, but seeing as there are two technicians instead of one, he instead sits in a chair in the corner of the room so as not to be in the way. Emma makes small talk with the women, honestly doing her best to calm the student down. Her hands shake as she applies the gel, and apologizes for the temperature with a speech she’d definitely memorized. “It’s okay,” Emma tries to comfort her. “You’re doing great.” The student offers her a smile, and Amy tells her to find baby A’s heartbeat. She moves the probe and does so with ease, the fast rhythmic thudding music to Killian’s ears, as always.

Once it’s recorded, Amy tells the student she can do baby B now. The student nods and moves the probe, stopping the noise. She slides the thing upward, and presses it down. No thudding comes, and Emma smiles at the girl again when she notices her start to panic. “Try sliding it posteriorly a bit,” Amy instructs. The probe moves again, and still no sound. The student now looks like she wants to crawl into a hole and die, and Emma feels terrible. She turns away to share a pitied look with Killian, but is startled profusely when her gaze lands on her husband’s face. Killian looks white as a ghost. His face is contorted and his eyes are bulging wide, and he honestly looks like he might faint or throw up. Quickly reading his mind, Emma jerks suddenly, looking at the women again.

“Uhh, I’m sorry. Me and my husband were having a…huge fight in the car on the way here and I uhh..don’t feel settled because we didn’t resolve it. Could you give us like, 3 minutes alone? I’m so sorry. You’re honestly doing a great job,” she assures the young girl, patting her arm and feeling bad for lying.

“Sure Emma,” Amy agrees, motioning for the student to follow her out of the room. I’ll just let Alana look at your charts if that’s okay with you.”

“Of course,” Emma says, trying to get them out of the room as fast as possible. The minute they walk out of the room Emma moves faster than she’s moved in months, jumping out of the chair and going to Killian’s corner. “Killian, look at me. Killian,” she says firmly, his gaze lost far away still, but her voice snaps him out of it and he looks in her eyes, the terror in his face nearly blinding her. “Listen to me. That baby is fine. Absolutely, one hundred percent fine. That girl is a student, Killian. She’s just learning. The heartbeat is there, do you hear me? She’s just a kid. She’s just learning and she doesn’t know exactly where to put the thingie. But the actual baby is fine. It’s okay. I promise you.”

Killian starts to cry and she yanks him into her arms, the gel on her belly most likely smearing onto some of his leather. “Are you sure?” he croaks against her, and her heart almost shatters.

“Yes, babe. Yes. I promise you, he’s fine. They’re both fine. I’m so sorry you got so scared. Here, come here.”

She drags him over to her chair and grabs the probe, which is thankfully still on. Emma places it on her own belly, and within a few seconds she finds the right spot. Thudding once again fills the room and Killian presses his forehead to hers, basically collapsing with relief. She rubs his cheek with her free hand, kissing all over his face. “See? It’s okay. Your babies are fine. They’re both fine, I promise. I’m so sorry, Killian. You don’t have to be scared. Everything’s okay.”

Killian slowly collects himself, breathing deeply and rubbing at his eyes. Emma threads their fingers together, squeezing his hand. “She’s just learning, Killian. And she’s so nervous. Amy is probably her teacher and she’s afraid she’s gunna screw up. Are you okay now?”

Killian takes another deep breath. “Aye, Swan. I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Killian. You were just scared and that’s okay, okay? Here, pull that chair over here. Sit right by me, okay?”

Killian pulls the chair over, and kisses Emma's forehead. “Shall I go tell the ladies we’ve resolved our fake fight?”

Emma chuckles, squeezing his hand again. “Yes, please."

~ Day 212

She isn’t allowed out of bed anymore. Last week she’d been dizzy, and because she didn’t want to worry Killian she didn’t tell him. And then today, she’d fainted. Thankfully she was standing next to Killian when it happened, thankfully he caught her, and thankfully Leia didn’t see. She’d come to only minutes later, wearing no clothes and covered in cold towels, Killian crying and on the phone with the OB. For a split second she felt like laughing at the image of him freaking out and literally ripping her clothes off her (they were in a pile of shreds next to her) but then she felt like an ass because the whole thing had scared him tremendously and probably shaved years off his life. The doctor told him on the phone that it was probably her blood pressure dipping and that she should be on bedrest from now until the babies come. But nevertheless, he insists on driving her to Boston for a checkup. Thankfully everything is normal, aside from the fact that her blood pressure is dipping, and then the doctor repeats again, that she isn’t to get out of bed anymore.

~ Day 222

10 days in bed and she feels like she might die of boredom. Emma Swan does not lay in bed and do nothing - not her style. So it’s tremendously hard to let Killian do everything for her, even though he does it with zero complaints. Thankfully she has an entertaining 3 year old to help her pass the time. Today Leia’s activity of choice is to practice magic, and she does so by laying next to Emma and flicking her wrists to change the colour of the walls. And as she watches her tiny daughter wield her power, Emma errantly wonders whether the twins will have magic. Then she gets too wigged out by the idea of two identical male toddlers with magical fists, and promptly sends Leia to tell Daddy to make Mommy an ice cream sundae.

~ Day 230

“Mom. This is a little out of hand, you have to admit.”

“Oh, I fully admit to that, Emma. But just think. We won’t get to dress them ourselves forever. We have to take advantage.” Mary Margaret had went shopping in Boston, and Emma was fairly certain there isn’t a stitch of infant boy clothing left in any stores in the whole city, on account of they are all splayed out in front of her. Overalls and moccasins and sleepers and cable knit sweaters and onesies galore (2 of each, of course).

Emma smiles at her mother, who is so obviously proud of herself. “Thanks, Mom. I’m sure they’ll love all of it. So much so that I’m sure they’ll spit up or poop to prove their gratitude to you.”

~ Day 240

She wakes up in the middle of the night, and Killian isn’t in bed with her. At first, she just assumes he’d crawled in with Leia like always, but then something inside her makes her want to check to make sure he’s okay. She hauls her larger-than-life body out of bed (which secretly is a blessing because these days she never gets to use her legs. Killian has even taken to insisting she be carried to the bathroom) and walks down the hallway.

Sure enough, he isn’t in the giant Jolly Roger bed. Instead, she finds him across the hall, in the twins’ nursery. He’s sitting on the floor between the cribs, his legs curled up and his chin resting on his hands. He’s so lost in thought that it takes a few seconds for him to notice his whale of a wife in the doorframe. But he does, eventually.

“You shouldn’t be out of bed, love,” he scolds her lightly, and she just rolls her eyes at him, coming into the room. It takes great effort, (and a little of his help) but eventually she sits down on the floor next to him. She offers him her hand and he takes it, linking their fingers.

It’s silent for a moment as she waits for him to speak.

“It’ll be soon, aye?”

Emma blows out a puff of air. “I think so. I hope so. I’m tired of being pregnant. I hate it, you know.”

Killian chuckles quietly. “Never would’ve guessed,” he jokes.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love having babies with you. I just don’t enjoy the carting-them-around-on-top-of-my-organs-for-hundreds-of-days part.”

“I understand. I’m sorry. I wish I could do more.”

“Hey, you. You know you give me everything I need and more. Now, talk to me. What’s bothering you?”

“I’m worried about them, Emma.”

Emma crinkles up her nose. “What? Worried about what part?”

He sighs. “There’s two of them and there’s one of me. What if they both need protecting and I can’t-“

“Hey, now,” Emma interrupts, raising a hand to cup his face. “First of all, I have complete confidence that if for any reason one or several of our children were threatened, you would find a way to protect them. And second of all, you’re right. There is only one of you. But there’s also one of me. So there’s two of them, and two of us. You’ve told me from day one that we can handle this, so now it’s my turn to tell you. We can do this, Killian. Together, just like we’ve always done everything. It’s gunna be a hell of a crazy ride, but we’re going to love every second. I know it.”

He smiles then, putting his arm around her. She leans into him, and promptly yawns. “Best back to bed for you, my love,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Fine,” she agrees, wiggling in an attempt to stand, “but you’re gunna let me walk there myself.”

~ Day 246

He wakes up in the middle of the night to the sound of her sniffling. He reaches for her instinctively, but soon realizes she’s sitting on the edge of the bed and out of reach. He jolts upright, jostling the bed. “Are the babies coming?!” he asks her frantically, shaking his head to wake himself up.

“No,” she sniffles, and her answer comes out in somewhat of an angry snarl. He crawls to her, reaching with his good hand to massage her shoulder, but she shrugs his touch away, leaving him confused. “What’s troubling you, darling?” he asks gently, trying to get her to meet his gaze.

“I’m so big,” she cries, frustration in her tone. “I’m tired of it.”

“Hey now,” he clucks at her, and he climbs to sit next to her so he can pull her against his side, but she again resists his touch.

Then she starts yelling. “I’m tired of your “hey nows!” And I’m tired of your side hugs! And I’m tired of being the little spoon and then waking up with you having rolled away from me. I miss when you could hold me all night long with my face against your neck and your chest chair against my nipples. When you hold me like that I feel safe. And I’m just sad cause I can’t remember the last time I actually fit in my favourite spot and I woke up and had to pee of course and when I came back to bed there was no foreseeable way for me to get myself close to-”

She’s rambling now, and working herself up to cry harder, so he deems it an appropriate time to interrupt her. “Oh, my love. I’m so sorry, sweetheart. Come right here, darling. We’ll fix it. You’ll fit right here, right where you belong. Emma, my love. Let me hold you, sweet.”

She tries to argue but he just pulls her with him to the middle of the bed, her towering belly peeking out from under her tank top. He pulls off said tank top before laying on his back, beckoning her to follow suit. She refuses and it’s difficult, but he is determined to please her. He continues pulling at her and it’s awkward at first, but he situates them so that she’s on her side facing him and her ginormous belly is resting on top of his flat one. She fusses about crushing him and he just hushes her, yanking pillows to tuck behind her so she’s comfortable and maneuvering his arm so she can use it to rest her head on and ensuring that his chest hair is fulfilling its rightful duty. After many wiggles and huffs, she finds she can miraculously cuddle against his collarbone with ease, and his arms are tight around her, his good hand trailing lines up her arm.

“Would you magic the blankets over us, love?” He asks, and she sniffles a final time, summoning the sheet and duvet to drape over them the way she likes. One of her legs is tucked between his, and she realizes she can feel the warmth of his skin in a way she’s missed desperately for what seems like forever.

“Better?” Killian whispers, and she kisses his jaw, letting the scent of him calm her further.

“Yeah,” she sighs, and though he feels like her belly might indeed suffocate him, he does admit to himself that he missed holding her like this, close, where he knows she’s safe, where he can see her lovely face and watch her fall asleep. He can feel the babies kicking then, and he pauses rubbing her arm to rub the side of her belly.

“See? You fit. No matter what, you’ll always fit right here, Swan.”

She wiggles a bit, sighing contentedly, and he tightens his hold on her. They lay in silence for a few minutes, just holding each other, and Emma closes her eyes.

Killian’s lips play at her forehead and he whispers his love to her, his voice a soft cadence that he’s used many a time to get her to sleep. Just when he thinks sleep is about to pull her under though, her eyes snap open and she practically growls.

“Fuck my LIFE, KILLIAN. I HAVE TO PEE. TELL YOUR SONS THEY NEED TO GET OUT.”

~ Day 249

It’s movie night. Henry insists they watch Star Wars again, and everyone struggles to get settled on the couch as the opening monologue of episode IV slides across the screen. (Thankfully, everyone in the house has it memorized. Even Leia.) Leia ends up on Killian’s lap, and Emma sits between them and Henry. Her belly makes for a perfect table for the popcorn, until a baby kicks so hard that the bowl tips over and pieces fly everywhere. Emma screams and Henry startles and Leia tries to clean it up quick with her magic, but she accidentally makes the whole couch disappear. The four of them land on the ground with a thud, and they all laugh so hard tears streak down their faces. Once the couch is conjured back they focus on the film, Leia zonking out midway through, as always. Emma dozes too, her head on Killian’s shoulder, but Henry swats her periodically and tells her to pay attention. She does her best to comply, for she knows the days are numbered, and that it’s only a matter of time before a duo of tiny jedis take over their home.

~ Day 251

In the early hours of the morning on the 251st day, she wakes to the feeling of a gush of liquid rushing down her thighs to soak their bed. Shit. Shit. She realizes in that moment that her days are up, that she’ll never make it to day 280, that these boys are coming and they are coming now. She turns over to the sleeping man next to her, to the man who has been her rock and her strength for the past 251 days and well, eons before that too, of course. His hair is tousled and his face is peaceful and all she wants in life is for their sons to look like him. “Killian,” she whispers, voice cutting through the silence, “Killian, hey. You’ve gotta wake up.”

#captain swan #cs ff #cs fluff #cs crew #daddy!Killian #canwetalkaboutcaptainswan #cs + L #+ twinsies

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shasanpipingsolution · 1 year ago

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kmomof4 · 7 years ago

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Have not read this yet, but as I love Marta and her writing to the moon and back again, I’ll have to soon.

A Fic-aversary and an Apology

Most importantly: It has gorgeous cover art now, which I am just in love with, made for me by @hollyethecurious !! She really made it more beautiful and eye-catching.

Anyway, to tide you over until next week (and I hope to also FINALLY update my CSRomCom au again this weekend as well) enjoy “Looking for a Heart (that’s not Walking Away)”!!!

(Liam x Belle multichapter fic, canon divergent from about 5x15/5x16)

*I will also attempt to add ff.net links to the rest of the chapters at the end…

“Looking for a Heart that’s Not Walking Away”

chapter one: like ships in the night

Keep reading

#ouat ff #liam x belle ff #ouat au mc #5b canon divergence fic #cs supporting ship ff #chapter one #anniversary repost #now with fic art #for later

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shasanpipingsolution · 1 year ago

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ASME SA694 CS F52 Slip On Flange Specification Schedule

Specifications

ASTM A694 / ASME SA694

Dimensions :ANSI/ASME B16.5, B 16.47 Series A & B, B16.48, BS4504, BS 10, EN-1092, DIN, etc.

Standard :ANSI, ASME, BS, DIN, EN etc.

Grades :F42, F46, F52, F60, F65, F70, A36, A516 Gr. 70,60

Size: 1/2″ to 48″

Class / Pressure :150#, 300#, 600#, 900#, 1500#, 2500#, PN6, PN10, PN16, PN25, PN40, PN64 etc.

Flange Face Type :Flate Face (FF), Raised Face (RF), Ring Type Joint (RTJ)

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EMAIL ID: [email protected]

If any enquiries please contact us our support team will connect you as soon as possible.

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seriouslyhooked · 4 years ago

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Feels Like This (Part 11)

Emma Swan is a once lost girl who is now making good. She has made a way in the world for her and her young son, Henry, and after years of hard work, Emma is in her last stretch of schooling for the career she’s always wanted. Unexpectedly, she finds herself in a tiny nation no one’s ever heard of for her last year of study. She knows nothing about the place except that it’s beautiful, has a world-renowned child life program, and is filled with possibility. Meanwhile, Prince Killian is hardly happy with the title he received at birth. As the second in line for the crown, Killian has long tried shaking his royal duties. He built a career in the royal navy, and has stayed out of the limelight, but his ship has been called to port indefinitely at the request of his brother, the King. Fate (in her many forms) brings Emma and Killian together and the resulting fic is a cute, fluffy, trope filled romp featuring heart felt moments, a healthy dose of insta-love and an assured happily ever after. Story rated M and will have 12 parts. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10. Available on FF Here and AO3 Here.

A/N: Hey all! I am so excited to share this chapter for a number of reasons, one of them being that we get a new POV that is not Emma or Killian. That’s right, today I am including Elsa as one of our storytellers too. But don’t worry, as much as we’ll be learning about Elsa and Anna’s past and Elsa and Liam’s attraction to each other, there will still be some CS cuteness. Because it is me, there is also a LOT of fluff and feels abounding. It’s hard to say much more without spoiling, so, without further ado, I hope you’ll enjoy this chapter and thank you so much for the support and good vibes!

Wandering through the woods at the far reach of the Institute, Elsa did her best to stave off the worry that had clung to her heart all night. She hardly slept, tossing and turning, gripped with agitation, and all because today, at long last, the truth would come out.

It wasn’t that she enjoyed lying all this time, or that Elsa was desirous to keep her story hidden any longer. This was simply reflex. For years she and her sister had guarded their real origins from nearly everyone they met. Only a select few people in the world knew anything of Elsa and Anna’s past, and those secret keepers had not been chosen by her or her sister. They were thrust into this situation as children, but today they would take a leap of faith and share the truth with a new, but genuine friend.

Emma is deserving of our trust, Elsa reasoned to herself, continuing an argument she’d had internally for weeks. She and Anna had both agreed Emma was someone they could confide in and they believed in her goodness and her ability to keep a secret. They had both yearned for the chance to share this truth with someone – anyone - and now they had it. But it had gotten so much more complicated at the same time, and all thanks to the royal visit that happened yesterday.

When she and Anna moved to Montenarro and began working at the Institute, they both knew the slight risk that existed of their being found out. Public curiosity had long ago waned about their family, enough so that they felt capable of using their real first names in applying for the job, but members of the aristocracy were different. They memorized lineages, and studied other families of note, across country lines. The royal family of Montennaro may not come to the Center often, but they did sponsor and fund this charity. As such, there may come a time when they encountered the royals. This was, theoretically, not a huge issue, at least not in Anna’s eyes. After all, Anna had never actually met any member of the royal family, and so had no chance of being recognized. She assumed that Elsa was in the same boat, and that would make sense, for the sisters had done nearly everything together their whole lives.

Selfishly, Elsa allowed her sister’s assumption of their past run ins with the royals to stand, even though it was not accurate. She omitted the truth, about a moment in time that felt light years away and yet so cherished even now, because she wanted to stay here in Montennaro. It was her and Anna’s dream to do good works, to make use of all their many years of study back in France, and to leave the world a little brighter than how they had found it. After everything they had been through, Elsa so dearly wished to give back to children in need alongside her sister. There were no other opportunities like this one, no Centers that provided as much for their pupils, and no other place that felt like a home, not since the passing of their Grandmere. So Elsa had bit her tongue, and enjoyed the years of obscurity they found here with the children, always praying that her secret from her sister would never come to light.

Things obviously changed when Killian arrived, and when it was announced that the youngest son of the royal line would be here, working alongside them, almost every day. The panic Elsa carried with her was profound, but after hesitation in the beginning, Elsa realized there was nothing to fear from the Prince. Prince Killian had no connection to her, and he was instantly consumed by his attraction to Emma. There was no fear of him discovering who she and Anna were, not when he was distracted and totally besotted by her friend.

Only when she and Anna spoke with Killian after the parade did Elsa begin to worry again, not because she thought her friend would lose out on the clearly true love she’d found with Killian, but because it was clear as day that Emma and the prince would one day be married. That was a wonderful thing, but it would make a friendship between Elsa and Anna and Emma so much harder. Guarding this secret would become even more difficult if they regularly saw people who held so many breadcrumbs from the past. Elsa had grown more and more worried about it, but it was ultimately Anna who made the decision.

“There’s only one thing to do,” Anna said the night of Killian and Emma’s reconciliation. “We have to tell Emma the truth. I think the danger for us has long since passed, but even so, it’s best to tell her what we’ve been through. Just in case. That way, when they marry, as we both know they will, we can sidestep the whole awkward RSVP thing. It’ll be a shame to miss it, but it can’t be risked. Not if we want to keep hiding.”

Elsa was simultaneously relieved at Anna’s idea, and guilty at the fact that she still wasn’t being totally honest. In truth, it was eating her up inside, and she just didn’t know how much more of this she could take.

Not much longer now. You’ll tell them both everything today. As soon as Emma gets here.

At that moment, Elsa came to the part of a wooded clearing where green grass met the bank of a bubbling stream. The clear spring water flowed across rocks and moss, gurgling along in a measured, soothing melody. It was nothing like the mighty river they’d grown up on, which was loud and thunderous and strong, but still, a lullaby from her childhood filtered through Elsa’s mind, and a memory of their mother singing to her and Anna transported her back to the life they used to have…

“Sing it again, Mama, please?” Anna pleaded, snuggling into bed and holding Elsa close as she did. The two of them had their own beds, and their own rooms, but every night Anna made her way here, insisting that she and Elsa needed to be together. Elsa never tried to fight it. She loved Anna, and she always slept better with her sister beside her.

“Anna, darling, it’s late. Far too late for my two little princesses to still be awake. How will you ever rise with the sun if you never go to sleep?”

Their mother’s green eyes shone with mischief, but also so much love. She was pretending to deny them, but she could never say no to Anna. It was only a matter of time before she repeated the lullaby again, and Elsa couldn’t wait. She loved her mother’s voice. It was like warm honey in her father’s favorite tea. A splash of simple sweetness that made all the difference in the world.

“I promise to go right to bed. Look, I’ll even close my eyes,” Anna said eagerly, shutting her eyes so tight her face scrunched with the effort. Elsa shook with silent laughter and watched her mother do the same. Then their mother sighed and yielded to the request.

“Oh, all right. Now let’s see here. How does it start again…?”

Anna’s eyes popped open as she fed her the line. “Where the north wind meets the sea!” she exclaimed, and their mother shook her head even as she smiled.

“Ah, ah, ah. Eyes closed remember?”

Anna nodded and closed her eyes again before whispering. “You help her, Elsa. You and Mama sing. I love it when you sing.”

“Ok, Anna,” she agreed, taking her sisters hand and squeezing it gently. Then she and her mother looked at each other and started the song together.

“Where the north wind meets the sea There’s a river full of memory Sleep, my darling, safe and sound For in this river all is found

In her waters, deep and true Lay the answers and a path for you Dive down deep into her sound But not too far or you’ll be drowned

Yes, she will sing to those who’ll hear And in her song, all magic flows But can you brave what you most fear? Can you face what the river knows?

Where the north wind meets the sea There’s a mother full of memory Come, my darling, homeward bound When all is lost, then all is found”

In the short time they sang the song, Elsa felt Anna’s hold on her soften, but she wasn’t quite asleep yet. Elsa held a finger up to her mother, a signal that they should sing it through once more, and by the time that was done, Anna’s breathing had evened out and she was already dreaming. She was nearly impossible to wake once sleeping, so Elsa felt free to speak to her mother in a quiet tone.

“Anna still thinks if we search hard enough by the riverside, we’ll find the magic in the song.”

“But you don’t?” Her mother asked and Elsa shook her head.

“No. I think magic like that is just in stories.”

“Perhaps, but I like to think our magic – real magic – is just a little bit different.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well you’re right, the lullaby goes hand in hand with our old folk stories, the legends of Arendelle shared for hundreds of years. In those stories people had abilities that no ordinary human should have.”

“Like superheroes,” Elsa offered, and her mother smiled.

“Exactly. But just because we can’t wield water or ice or flames doesn’t mean we can’t make a difference. And you know how you make the biggest difference?” Elsa shook her head. “With love and with kindness. The way you love your sister, the way you love your father and I, the way you love everyone here in the manor, that is your greatest gift, my dear. And someday you will change the lives of so many people all by showing them great love and compassion.”

“You really think that’s magical?” Elsa asked, letting the idea wash over her. She always tried her best to do right and to be good to other people. That was what her parents had taught her. She liked the idea that by being good she was using a superpower, and the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Everyone did seem so much happier when she was kind and patient, and at the end of the day, that was the greatest gift – to be happy.

“Oh yes. It’s an old magic, one that is so much more powerful than people give it credit for. But once you know of it, it’s your job to keep it strong. You must never give up hope, and you must always follow your heart and do the next right thing.”

“The next right thing,” Elsa agreed, not thinking too much of it as sleep was beginning to creep near. The hour was late, and she was tired too, but she wanted to stay awake and enjoy this time with her mother. She and Anna often had to share their time with their parents, and it always made Elsa feel special to be with her one on one. As if she could read Elsa’s mind, her mother pressed a kiss to her forehead and made a promise.

“We’ll talk more tomorrow, my darling. Now, get some sleep.”

Elsa had no idea that that night with her mother would be the last, and that everything she took for granted as the pillars of her world would be stolen in an instant. They’d gone from peace and contentment to total upheaval in the blink of an eye, and she and Anna were whisked away immediately, saved by little more than luck and the will of fate herself. The pain of that day would be etched in her soul forever, and so would the grief of losing the only home she’d ever known. But now, after decades of wishing things were different, Elsa could look back and be grateful, not for the troubles that had come, but for the sacred moments they did have with their parents before they were gone. It was hard to look back, but it was also a blessing. To have been so deeply loved that death could not sever the tie, that was something that had kept Elsa strong, and what she would cling to today especially.

Unwillingly, Elsa’s mind wandered at just the thought of love, to a man who bewildered her and drew her in all at once. He was always meant to be a beautiful memory, a boy she knew one summer’s day who showed her kindness and kissed her senseless. She could never confess how much she’d thought of him that summer. It was a girlhood infatuation that rivaled any other. Truth be told, he never was fully forgotten. He was always there in the back of her mind, until they’d moved here and she’d seen a random tabloid in the corner store. On the cover was a picture of a beautiful man – the King of Montenarro – and staring back at her were the same blue eyes from her girlhood dreams, if a little colder than she remembered.

That night she’d poured over the gossip rag and scoured the internet, waiting only until Anna went to bed before falling into a sinkhole of information. She read all about what he’d done since they had met, and how he’d stepped up to rule in a country that needed more than a little bit of hope. He was fair and wise and just, and passionate about making this country prosperous for all. Most recently he’d been working on his initiative to give all people in the country more say in government, and she thought that was admirable and knew how hard a task it must be. For years she’d watched and read the headlines, tracking his progress, while trying to avoid the speculation on things like his future and his love life. There was always talk about who the King would one day marry, and though Elsa knew she would be nothing but a forgotten blip in his past, it still hurt her to think of the boy who’d touched her heart belonging to another.

“Touched my heart,” she said aloud, scoffing with the foolishness of the thought. “As if I haven’t been secretly giving it to him for years. God, what a mess this all is.”

At confessing her feelings, which had mostly developed from afar, Elsa’s hands began to shake. Even if she’d thought of him often, it never in a million years occurred to her that they would ever reunite. But yesterday they had, and it was even more intense than she remembered. All day she felt his eyes on her, watching her every move. At all stages of the visit she could feel his presence, and it spun her whole world upside down. Never mind seeing him with the children, and watching him come out of his shell to offer them genuine affection. That had truly done her in, and almost made her forget herself. A few times they’d managed to speak, but Elsa always found an opportunity to run or to distract. She longed for that closeness, but was scared to death of letting someone – especially him – behind her many walls.

By the time she made her way back to her and Anna’s home, it was nearly time for Emma’s arrival and Elsa was nowhere closer to composure. She tried to breathe deeply, using some mindfulness to clear her thoughts, but her pulse was racing and her hands still shook. No matter – it was too late to run now. She had to face this head on. There was simply no other way.

A minute later she opened up the door, and within seconds, Anna was on her, enveloping her in a huge bear hug and prompting an emotional reaction in Elsa. Her sister was scared too, but Elsa could tell that underneath it all Anna was excited. She didn’t even need to see her face to know that there was relief in sharing their story. Anna had never liked living a lie, and the burden of it weighed on her always. Knowing that, Elsa hugged her back and whispered words of encouragement.

“It’s going to be all right, Anna. Remember what Mama used to say.”

“All you can do is the next right thing,” Anna replied shakily before nodding. “This is the right thing.”

Elsa had just enough time to agree before a knock sounded at the front door. “Are you ready?” Elsa asked and Anna nodded.

“I’m ready.”

“Okay, then let’s do this.”

………….

Sitting in the kitchen of Elsa and Anna’s small but charming house, Emma could practically taste the anxiety in the air. Whatever was going on with her friends was electric, and the room crackled with unsaid words Emma was increasingly eager to hear. Despite that, she could tell her friends needed a bit of an ice breaker, and she used one of her surest tactics to provide one.

“I’m sorry I’m a little later than we planned. Henry was on another level this morning. I love him more than anything, but he’s just so…”

“Helpful?” Anna offered.

“Curious?” Elsa countered.

“I was going more for something like ‘verbose.’ I swear he’s always got a dozen stories he can tell and today was no different. Actually, it was worse, because Killian was there last night, and you know how he gets with Killian.”

“He loves him,” Elsa said automatically, prompting Emma to smile warmly.

“He told Killian last night. It was so easy for him. He didn’t think twice, he just said exactly how he feels.”

“Oh, Emma,” Anna said, happily taking her hand after putting a tray of pastries on the counter. “That’s wonderful. What did Killian say?”

“That he loves him too.”

“I knew I liked that man for a reason,” Anna replied glibly. “Though, to be fair, it’s impossible not to love Henry. He’s the cutest, even if he hates me saying it.”

“Killian said something else too,” Emma said, waiting for Elsa to sit down with their tea. She watched her friends slightly shaky hands pour each of them a cup before spilling the beans. “He told me he sees a future, for us, the three of us. He said… well he said he loves me, and that no matter what he wants to be with me. Forever.”

The sounds of secondhand joy that came from both her friends made Emma even happier, though it also prompted a blush she’d been trying pretty hard to fend off.

“And what did you say?!”

“That I love him too.”

“Forever?”

“Definitely.”

“Oh my God, this is exactly what I needed today,” Anna said happily. “You don’t even know.” Belatedly it seemed to dawn on her – that was actually why Emma was here in the first place.

“I really don’t want to push, but it sounded yesterday like the two of you had something you really want to tell me. I promise whatever is said here, it’s between us. I’m still kind of new to the whole having good friends thing, but I can keep a secret.”

There was only a moment of silence between them before Elsa replied. She centered herself with a deep breath in to start and then let it out and looked directly at Emma. “You have to understand that all of her hesitation has nothing to do with you. We trust you. We do. It’s just been years of training ourselves to hide this part of our past, and keep the story in check so no one ever questions it.”

“Years?” Anna barked out hollowly. “More like our whole lives. Honestly, I barely remember a time without the secrets. It’s like they’ve always been here.”

“You’re right,” Elsa acknowledged, squeezing Anna’s hand gently. “This has been our burden to carry for as long as we can remember, and though time has passed, and we believe the physical threat is long behind us, old habits die hard.”

“Actually, in our case they don’t really seem to die at all,” Anna quipped. “You’re the first person we’ve ever told, and we can’t even seem to do that right. God, this is so hard. Why is this so hard?”

“Probably because there’s no easy way to say this,” Elsa admitted. Emma reached out for her hand in a show of comfort and Elsa looked up at her immediately. Emma wanted to assure her she was here to help, never to judge, and if they needed more time to make peace with their decision to share, that was fine too.

“Just tell me what you can. Start wherever you need to.”

Over the next hour, Emma patiently listened as they unfurled a truth that had been wrapped up tight for twenty years. They told her about their parents, two young Europeans who had met on foreign holiday. They were neither of them in their country of birth, and both eager to avoid the shackles of their real worlds, at least for a little while. Together they’d succeeded in doing this, and they had spent a week falling hopelessly in love with each other. From the way Elsa and Anna described it, Iduna and Agnar (yes, those were apparently their real names) had woven their strings together so tightly, the braid could not be broken.

The ‘problem’ stemmed from their father, for though he loved their mother endlessly, he had obligations – royal obligations. It turned out that Agnar was a Prince, of a nearby European principality that Emma had actually heard of. Arendelle was a small place, but it had undergone a revolution when she was a child, and even in the States there was endless conversation about it for a while. At first Emma was shocked, how was it possible that their Dad was a prince? But it took only a few moments for the surprise to dissipate. It explained why Elsa and Anna had always been so jumpy and yet very knowledgeable at multiple instances. It also explained why they were so hell-bent on keeping a secret, since the things Emma had heard about this country had hardly been positive.

According to Elsa and Anna, at the same time that Prince Agnar miraculously found love with their mother, his father, Runeard, had grown ill and passed away, leaving him as the heir apparent of the kingdom of Arendelle. Their father was eager for that role, and had been preparing for it all his life, until he was confronted with a truth that destroyed every plan he’d ever had. He could not remain the ruler of his country and pursue a life with the woman that he loved. He was bound as King to marry someone from a royal bloodline, and so he’d made a choice, to relinquish his crown and to hand it over to his younger brother. Their Uncle was a good man, and so they believed he would be a good King, but after a peaceful transition of power, and ten years of quiet where Elsa and Anna’s parents married, had children, and made a quiet country life for them all, something happened. Their Uncle had begun trusting the wrong people, and a coup had taken place. The palace was overrun, the royal family was imprisoned, and the country was thrust into darkness.

In the thick of that fighting, Elsa and Anna’s parents had also been targeted. They knew it was coming, as no coup could allow for anyone of the royal bloodline to live, but they didn’t have the time to all get out safely. Instead, their parents stayed behind as Elsa and Anna were taken with their father’s one-time nanny. She had lived with them all their lives, caring for them as if she were their own relation, and she brought them to France, through untraceable means, to the only other living relative they had left. Technically the older woman who became their lifeline was their father’s Aunt, but to them, she was forever Grandmere.

“It was a few weeks with Grandmere before we had confirmation that mother and father were gone,” Elsa said, sadness, even all these years, later taking hold of her quivering voice. Emma ached for her friend, and she couldn’t comprehend that kind of loss. She had never had parents at all, and that had been so painful in so many ways, but in some respects this was an even worse fate. “They were strong, and they protected us until the very end, but some battles simply can’t be won. Some heartbreaks cannot be avoided.”

“I’m so sorry, for both of you,” Emma said softly. “I cannot imagine the pain at knowing your parents and their goodness and then losing it like that.”

“It was difficult,” Anna agreed, “Especially being in a new country and having to hide who we were and basically stay at Grandmere’s estate all the time. But even when they passed, our parents were never truly gone. They’ve always been with us. Their love lives on in us, right Elsa?”

“Right,” Elsa agreed, offering a smile to her sister. “We stayed in France with Grandmere for years, and even though we were hurting, it was still a happy time. Grandmere adored us and spoiled us like any grandmother should. She gave us all the love and attention a person could stand, but she also took her role as our protector very seriously. As Anna said, we never really left the manor. It was a great estate, but for all intents and purposes we were under house arrest for years. We had private tutors for our schooling and no nanny except for Grandmere. The household staff were either sworn to secrecy or told an unassuming story about how we were two distant cousins who had fallen on hard times. The core of the story was true, of course. We had been orphaned through a series of tragic circumstances, but everything else was an illusion, including our names.”

Emma’s look of surprise had Anna clarifying quickly. “Our full names are Elisandra and Annadella, but our parents always called us Elsa and Anna. Those other names were family heirlooms, but these names were our truth. That’s what Mama used to say. Still those nicknames were a luxury we couldn’t afford when at our Grandmere’s. So we chose new ones. Selene for Elsa, and Soleil for me.”

“Totally different,” Emma said casually.

“They were,” Elsa agreed, “But they kept an important part of our story intact. My father called me his ‘little Luna’ since the night I was born, under a full blue moon. An ice-solstice, as it’s referred to in Arendellian tradition. It’s supposedly a sign of great fortune for babies born to be born on those rare nights. Meanwhile Anna was born at high noon on the sunniest, most beautiful day of the year. The kind of day that was a gift, as Papa would say. From that day forward, Anna became his ‘sunshine.”

“So let me guess, Selene means moon and Soliel means sun.”

“Yes. It was hard to get used to, but Grandmere helped us every step of the way. She was devoted to us completely, and in truth, I think she loved us as much as any mother could. She had no children of her own, but she had us, and thank God we had her.”

“But you never went out, you never left your home?”

“Not for a long time. Eventually we were allowed small indulgences. We went to Grandmere’s house in Paris every Christmas season for the shopping and the sights. We visited her sister, Aunt Josephina, on the Spanish coast in August, when the weather was hottest and the beach was pure bliss,” Anna acquiesced. “But we never went to school or sports or that kind of thing. All we really had was each other, until I made a dear friend in our next-door neighbor, Aurora. She didn’t know the truth about our past, but Grandmere fully trusted her parents. They were diplomats, and always had ample security. A few summers I was allowed to go for a week or two to their summer home. Elsa was always invited, but she preferred the quiet for a change, deciding to get lost in her reading instead of adventuring with me.”

Emma noticed that Elsa flinched slightly at the words, but it escaped Anna’s notice. Emma looked at her curiously, wondering if Elsa would comment on the claim, but when no words came from Elsa, she decided to ask some more directed questions. Emma wondered about what had happened to Arendelle and how they came to be in Montenarro. Arendelle, luckily, was much recovered from the tumult of the past. The heinous coup had been righted by the people, and a new democratic government instilled. Unfortunately, their Uncle had not made it through that dark time unscathed. He grew very ill while in confinement and died some years later. The country was now transitioning to a fully democratic state, but there was, at least reportedly, great respect amongst the public for the royals that were. Their parents and Uncle were highly regarded, with a memorial service each year held in honor of their bravery and dedication to the country. Whispers about whatever happened to Elsa and Anna, or if they had even existed remained, but it had been a long time since any real attention was paid to their fates.

Despite those changing tides, Elsa and Anna’s grandmother had always been hesitant in exposing the truth. She believed it wise not to open the door to a grand reveal. Why tempt fate when they could instead pursue, simpler, less complicated lives? Elsa and Anna had waivered at first, but ultimately decided that the best way to honor their parents was to do as they’d instructed – share their love and their abilities to make the lives of people who needed it better. Their personal experiences sparked their interest in working with orphaned children, and they both went to school to study in Paris, staying at their Grandmere’s home all the while. It was only after the unexpected death of their dear Grandmere that they’d decided on a change. The jobs here in Montenarro had been discovered, and the rest was history. Anna and Elsa had chosen their simple, balanced life, and they’d been keeping the secret all the while.

“So, I guess keeping the truth from the rest of the world now is less about any danger to your life, and more about your privacy. I can only imagine how it would go – the press discovering two long lost princesses who lived through that kind of turmoil. It would be…” Emma trailed off and Anna filled in.

“A nightmare.”

Now there was no denying the reaction from Elsa, and in truth, it looked like her friend had been struck by something. She was suddenly pale, and clearly agitated, and Emma suspected it was all to do with a certain King who’d paid her extra mind upon his visit to the Center yesterday.

“Elsa, are you all right?” Anna asked, pulling Elsa in from her own wandering thoughts. Still she looked almost haunted, and was unable to convince either Anna or Emma that she was well.

“I’m fine,” she said, but the whispered words were hardly reaffirming.

“You are definitely not fine. Elsa, you’re white as a sheet.”

“I’m always pale, you know that,” Elsa tried to joke but it was a pitiful attempt at humor.

“Elsa, seriously. What’s wrong?” Anna asked, looking, for the first time all day, actually afraid. That distress in her sister’s eyes prompted Elsa to hug Anna fiercely, and admit an unexpected truth for both Anna and Emma.

“I have to tell you something. Something I never told you.”

“Okay,” Anna agreed quickly, with nothing like anger in her expression. “You know you can tell me anything. Anything at all.”

This time the revelations shared were questioned mostly by Anna, though Emma had questions as well. Who wouldn’t, given the surprise twist in an already surprising tale?

It turned out that in one of those times where Anna was traveling with her friend, Elsa had gone with their Grandmere back to Paris. One afternoon they received an invitation from their grandmother’s oldest friend for a garden party. With Elsa now 16, it was their grandmother’s belief that she was ready for such an event. Elsa promised to keep to her story and mind her manners, but when she arrived, she was so nervous about doing or saying the wrong thing that she wandered off, away from the party all together. Deep within the hedgerow she’d met a young man who was also hiding. The bond of shared discomfort and an instant attraction made for a magical day where young love had a chance to bloom. At the time Elsa knew him only as Liam, and while she had planned to ask her Grandmere for more information on him, the old woman was in a state of panic when they finally reunited. It turned out more people were there than she ever realized, including some who could have discovered the secret. Elsa saw how much relief her Grandmere felt when she fibbed and said she’d been alone out in the gardens, she hadn’t the heart to tell her the truth. The lie was typical, especially for a teenager, but it was clear it still ate away at Elsa.

“I felt awful keeping it from her. I kept trying to get up the courage to confess, but then you came home early after Aurora broke her ankle on her horse, and the summer ended, and nothing ever came of it,” Elsa said, looking to Anna. “Eventually I came to believe that even if he seemed remarkable to me, he was just a boy. Our secret was still safe, and I had had my day in the sun.”

“So you didn’t realize who he was?” Emma asked and Elsa shook her head.

“It never came up,” Elsa asserted. “He only referred to himself as Liam. He told me he was seventeen and that his mother knew our hostess and that was it. I didn’t ask questions. Well, not about those kinds of things. We talked for hours, about everything and nothing. I didn’t have the time for basic details.”

The feeling was familiar to Emma. When she first met Killian, she felt the same way. They were so busy connecting with each other, so busy feeling the spark between them, that the words almost seemed to matter less. Knowing that Elsa had experienced that explained every part of her reaction yesterday, from the barely veiled interest to the severe trepidation every time she was within touching distance of the King.

“But when did you know the truth of who he was, Elsa? Please, please tell me it wasn’t just yesterday,” Anna begged, surprising both Elsa and Emma with her acceptance of the story and genuine want for Elsa to not have been blind-sided.

“It wasn’t,” Elsa admitted. “I found out when we first came to interview here. I saw a picture in the paper and I knew. I should have told you then, Anna, I know I should have, but we both felt it, our calling to this place. I swear it was like Mama and Papa brought us here. There were all those signs, and that feeling we just hadn’t had since we were kids. I thought that if I shared the truth we’d have to leave, and I couldn’t do that, to you or to me.”

“I’m so glad you didn’t,” Emma admitted. “Perhaps that makes me selfish, but I know for a fact how much staying has meant not just for me but for the kids. This place is like one big family, and it’s thanks to you two. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“I comforted myself with that thought for years. We were making a difference, we were using the magic Mama taught me about. But that doesn’t mean what I did was right. I shouldn’t have kept it from Anna, and now we may have no choice but to run.”

“No choice but to run?” Anna parroted, astounded at the idea. “Elsa, what are you talking about? We are not running. You are definitely not running!”

“We’re not?”

“Absolutely not. And you know why? Because this is love, Elsa. If yesterday is anything to go off of, and if your day together years ago was even half as romantic as you described, it’s full blown, love at first sight, once in a lifetime stuff. And you want to talk about signs? How about the fact that we could have landed anywhere in the world for work – we had no limits and no plan – and we ended up here, in the same place where Liam is King. The chances were so slim, I know that was Mama and Papa’s doing.”

Tears had spilled onto Elsa’s cheeks at Anna’s declaration, but it didn’t stop Anna from continuing on, even though her own eyes were misting over with the emotion of it all. “Our parents would never ever want you to run from love, Elsa, and neither do I. You deserve it, and here it is, back again after years of being parted. You’ve never really connected with anyone else, and I thought it was just a matter of waiting for the right man to come along, but now I know you were waiting for him again.”

“But it’s hopeless, Anna. He is the King.”

“So? You’re a princess.”

“A princess in hiding. A princess who’s story belongs squarely in the past. I can’t ask him to keep the secret, but I also can’t keep it from him. I’m caught up in this web I can’t get out of, and Liam is too honorable. He would never deceive his people like that. I wouldn’t ever ask him to.”

“So we let the secret go,” Anna said adamantly. “It’s simple Elsa. We just tell the truth.”

“You don’t mean that,” Elsa replied earnestly.

“I do.”

“You just said it would be a nightmare.”

“That was before I realized our alternative, and believe me, Elsa, there is no question of which is worse. If giving up obscurity and facing the press is what it takes to get you your love, it will be the easiest decision I ever make.”

“That’s assuming he even wants me,” Elsa said prompting Emma to chime in.

“Oh, he wants you. Believe me, and if you don’t believe me, then believe Killian. He talked about it most of the night, and he knows his brother better than anyone.”

“Maybe he wants me, but he doesn’t know everything, and I have no idea how he’ll take it.”

“Well there’s only one way to find out,” Anna said, standing up and pulling Elsa with her. “You have to tell him.”

“Now?” Elsa squawked, looking at Emma for help and Emma intervened.

“Let me call, Killian. He’s at the palace today. He can help us figure out a time.” No sooner had she said the words than her fingers were making the call. It rang only twice before the sexiest voice she knew picked up.

“Miss me already, Swan?”

“Something like that. Listen, I’m here with Elsa and Anna and I think it would be good if Elsa and Liam talked.”

Emma heard murmuring and then something that sounded like the phone banging on a table. She flinched from the sound, but then heard Killian once more. “Sorry, love. Suffice it to say my brother is enthused by the prospect.”

“When?” Emma asked, and she heard a resounding ‘Now!’ from the background. It was Liam’s voice and it prompted a smile for Emma. Elsa and Anna looked at her curiously as Killian responded.

“The sooner the better it seems.”

“Okay, so in an hour then?”

“Aye.” Again there was fussing on the other line, and it sounded like someone was pacing, until Killian spoke once more. “Might I suggest my place, so they may have some privacy.”

“Perfect,” Emma agreed. “She’ll be there.”

“Brilliant,” Killian quipped, “And Emma?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” she murmured, hanging up and putting her phone away in her pocket.

“And?” Anna asked.

“He wants to meet at Killian’s in an hour.”

“So soon?!” Elsa asked and Emma laughed.

“By the sounds of thing, an hour may as well be an eternity in Liam’s eyes.”

“He’s not the only one,” Anna agreed drawing Emma and Elsa’s gazes immediately. “What? Oh, come on, Emma, like you aren’t totally excited to see what happens. The suspense is practically killing me.”

“It may actually kill me,” Elsa said, putting her hand to her heart.

“It’s going to be all right,” Emma insisted, prompting Elsa to look up at her with hopeful but still skeptical eyes. “Don’t ask me how I know, but I do. I can just tell.”

“See!” Anna said excitedly. “And you know Emma’s gut is legendary. She can sense these things.”

“She didn’t sense Killian was a prince,” Elsa replied, not in a mean way, but as a frantic response from someone currently dealing with a lot.

“Touché,” Emma said with a laugh. “But I did know he was it for me. So, let me put it this way: I don’t know exactly how it will happen, but I do know you and Liam are going to work things out. Is that better?”

“Only if you really mean it,” Elsa whispered.

“I do,” Emma said softly.

“Ok,” Elsa agreed after a moment’s pause, straightening her spine in a show of determination. “Ok, I’ll do it.”

And with that the three of them set out to help Elsa get ready, knowing today would be a turning point, and that soon a much-needed conversation would lay it all out there once and for all.

Post-Note: Not going to lie, this chapter took SO long to craft, partially because of my muse being fussy, but mostly because, in the end, I needed two chapters to do this whole bit justice. I know I am leaving you on a bit of a cliff hanger, but I promise that next chapter we get the entirety of the Elsa/Liam story, and some added CS scenes to boot. Anyway, I really do hope that you enjoyed this chapter, and that it brightened your day, even if there were parts that were a bit sad. I love seeing what you all think, and knowing so many of you have enjoyed reading so far. I am still pretty busy with other things at the moment, but I promise to do my best to get an update written soon. Hope to see you next time, until then, hoping you are safe, healthy, and well!

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seriouslyhooked · 8 years ago

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A Pirate’s Perfect Birthday

Short Post 6-B fic where Emma throws a party for Killian (and gives him the best possible gift). Also available on FF here.

A/N: Hello everyone! Surprise! I know I am on vacation AND to top it all off my laptop died earlier this week (so I am dealing with a whole lot of denial about the work I lost) BUT I could not let today come and go without some CS fluff. Because I have a number of readers with birthdays today (hi Jenn!) and coming up, it seemed fitting to write something new, and since last year I did a birthday for Emma, this year I’m making one for Killian. . Anyway hope you guys enjoy and thanks for reading!

Staring at the fully decorated and brightly lit living room within her and Killian's home, Emma had to admit that things were going better than she'd at first anticipated.

When she originally came up with the idea of a celebration in Killian's honor done in the style and with the purpose of a birthday, she'd had understandable concerns. After all her husband, fond as he was of celebrating her and the other members of their family and friends in town, wasn't usually predisposed to moments celebrating him or providing him with what he felt for were undue accolades. For a man who was so charming and who often played at roguish swagger Killian would rather not be the center of attention at the end of the day. But Emma knew in her heart that Killian more than deserved to be celebrated and that even if he resisted today's activities, she would be sharing a gift with him that would make it all worth it.

"Are you sure you don't want to go a little bigger with the decorations?" Her mother asked in a genuine tone, pulling Emma from her quiet musings as she did. "You know it's not too late for us to embellish the theme a little bit. We could do something with sailing or the ocean or anything really... Oh I know! Pirates of the Caribbean! Killian’s seen those movies, right?"

Emma smiled her mother's ideas knowing that Snow meant the best when she put forth plans for an extension of the party's merriment, but if she gave her mother too much leeway then Emma would run the risk of ruining the party before it even began. If they went too flashy or too big that simply wouldn't be a party for Killian and that would be a shame, especially when Emma believed that she had found the perfect balance that would make this party both enjoyable to Killian and to all of their eager guests as well. It was old world meets new world in many ways but there would be good food and music and even a cake with rum infused frosting for dessert.

"Everything looks perfect as is, Mom. You've already done such a wonderful job and you've been a big help."

That response allowed Emma with a way out that didn't hurt her mother’s feelings, and she hoped that her Mom would believe her praise because Emma meant every word. The truth was Emma wasn't exactly cut out for party planning and none of these little details and thoughts had ever mattered much to her or ever came naturally. In this marriage there was one partner who was predominantly the thoughtful one with grand gestures and big surprises aplenty and that was Killian, but now Emma was trying to take a cue from his playbook so to speak.

"I think this is incredibly sweet Emma," Belle said as she approached from the kitchen where she had been getting much of the food for the evening plated and ready to go. "And it’s also very symbolic. After all, this is the anniversary of when he came back to you, right?"

Emma nodded, unsurprised that her and Killian's friend had figured out Emma’s underlying intentions. One year ago today in the midst of some of the worst pain Emma had ever endured, where her heart has been broken and all hope seemed lost, light returned to her world once more when Killian was brought back to her through a magic too strong and too powerful to fully comprehend. That day had been the start of a whole new chance for both Emma and Killian to do this whole true love thing right and they had made the most of that opportunity living every day like it might be their last but hoping all the while that they would have the happily ever after that was promised to all heroes. In many ways both of them had been reborn on that day, and so it only seems fitting that a day like that should be cherished and remembered and that on this day Emma should try and make her husband see just how much he meant to her.

"It is, yeah. But it's crazy to think how different our lives are now. We might never be ‘normal’ but this whole not constantly fighting the forces of evil thing... Well it’s pretty amazing."

"It's nothing less than you both deserve," Emma's father quipped from the other end of the room. "I think this family and this town have had just about enough trouble to last a lifetime."

Everyone easily agreed with David's shrewd analysis and Emma felt a surge of warmth in her chest at the thought that everyone she loved and everyone she cared for truly had found peace in the aftermath of the final battle. Each person here had played a role in Emma’s being strong enough to overcome her fate, but the one person who had done the most and whose love had shown throughout every moment no matter how dark with unwavering strength was Killian. He had been her rock when times were hard and he had been her faith when all hope seemed lost, and Emma knew that he would always continue to be her biggest fan and most adamant supporter as long as they lived.

At that moment the front door flew open and in a rush that was unexpected Emma watched as Henry came clamoring through with an earnest look on his face. For a second fear overtook her and there was a return to the old worries of the past. A look like that might mean there was some big bad knocking on their door poised to wreak havoc or that someone might be in grave danger, but then Emma noticed that though Henry seemed frazzled he wasn't truly upset and her gut told her that whatever he was about to say she could handle.

"Henry what's wrong?" Snow asked quickly but Henry's eyes stayed on Emma.

"We've got a slight hiccup in our plan. I know I was supposed to bring Killian after we were finished sailing on the Jolly, but he wanted to stay behind and short of saying you were in trouble I don't think there was anything I could do to get him to come."

“Well this is typical. We throw the pirate a party and he’s too wrapped up in that precious boat of his to even come,” Regina said with attempted sarcasm that Emma could plainly see through. No matter what she said, Regina had grown to consider Killian a friend and she did care about him underneath all of that dry wit.

“I tried to get him here, I really did. I even floated the idea of letting him make that mackerel stuff he’s always talking about for dinner, but he didn’t bite.”

Hearing more of what had happened and just how much enticement Killian had denied to avoid coming home made Emma smile despite herself and she began to piece together parts of the puzzle that might escape the others in the room. If she had to guess Emma would say that Killian, smart and ever observant as he was, was likely onto them and trying to stall, but there was a way to get him here and Emma knew the time had come to make her move.

"That's all right kid I've got it from here," Emma promised as she gave Henry a hug before saying goodbye to the others and heading out the door in search of the docks. She chose to walk instead of using magic and the journey was quick and the weather outside was mild enough that it was more than pleasant, but the best part undoubtedly was when she was finally aboard the Jolly Roger and was reunited with the man she loved.

"So... where you planning on returning to us land bound folk any time soon, or is this your move to get the hell out of dodge?” Emma asked after quietly sneaking up to the deck and watching Killian for a few seconds where he stood at his perch at the ship’s edge. When her voice sounded out between them he turned immediately and Emma could see even through the clear intensity he was grappling with that he was relieved to be reunited with her again. It was just the way he always was, and that quiet but ever present concern was an amazing and unspoken reassurance that Emma was loved completely by her husband and that nothing would ever change that.

“You joke, love, but you know there’s no leaving for me. Not without you at least.” Emma let out a light laugh at the thought of them leaving every care and responsibility behind them for a life on the high seas before stepping forward to take the hand he offered willingly and feeling that spark of connection as soon as they were joined. “What do you say we set sail and go wherever the winds take us?”

“I say it sounds pretty perfect as long as I’m with you, but tonight’s not so good. We’ve got plans.”

"Aye, I know about the party, Swan,” Killian announced, as if somehow he’d been keeping that little fact secret when his awareness was written all over his face.

"I figured as much when you gave Henry the slip with no clear reason," Emma confessed, prompting a surprised look from Killian before understanding infiltrated his piercing blue eyes and a softness returned to his features once more. Instinctively he pulled her into his arms wrapping her up in his embrace, and Emma welcomed that, stepping into him and into the place that had come to feel most like home to her in the whole wide world.

"It's not that I don't appreciate the gesture, my love, because I do, and timing it so precisely with my coming back from the Underworld was brilliant on your part. As I’ve said before my life truly began anew when I was given another chance to be by your side, and it’s as good a day as any to be grateful for. I just... Well truth is I've never had one of these, at least not one I can remember."

Hearing that (even though Emma had anticipated that might be the case) stung in a painful way and her heart went out to Killian as she thought about the stories she had heard from his less than happy and wholesome childhood and the largely unfortunate years that followed. They were very alike in this, in how life had robbed them of so many simple pleasures a person should know, but now Emma was hoping to rectify some of those old wounds and also share new joys that would grant them more of those miraculous second chances their love was prone to creating.

"There's no better time to try it out than now," Emma offered as her hand came to cup his cheek and she smiled at him and the feelings of rightness only he could bring into her life.

"Oh really? And why is that?" Killian inquired, teasing a bit more as he did and allowing himself to leave behind his earlier worrying. It was a beautiful sight for Emma to see him do so too, for she knew how hard it was to battle ghosts of lives past and she was always in awe of Killian’s willingness to try even when the going was tough.

“Because I'm hoping we will have at least another sixty years together and it’s only fair that we both get a birthday to celebrate," Emma murmured, picturing in her mind’s eye where they would be ten, then twenty, and fifty years down the line. The visions were hazy of course, and they were open to changing since she couldn’t really see the future, but the one thing Emma was certain of was that she and Killian would be a team and they’d be happy. "And besides, this year I have the perfect gift to give you.”

“You needn’t have troubled yourself, Swan. You know the best thing in the world is you. What else could possibly compare to calling you mine?”

His words were touching and heartfelt and Emma let them wash over her skin as she felt the rumble of his lilted voice flow over her as well. Tears pricked at her eyes and she could feel the swell of emotion inside her brought not only by the good fortune she was about to share, but by this unique and remarkable man who loved her so. Killian didn’t try to be perfect by any means, and he was clear with her and with everyone that he was only human and that he would make mistakes, but for Emma he was every ideal made real. He loved her with everything in him, brought passion and joy into her world every single day, and he looked at her as he did now - like she was the rarest gem of all - so often that it was almost commonplace. But this feeling in her heart would never be common, and the magic they’d found together would never dull in any way, especially not in the sight of what she had to tell him now.

“Maybe finding out you’re going to be a father?” Emma whispered, her hand taking Killian’s in hers and bringing it over her tummy that hadn’t yet begun to show but was destined to do so soon since right now a little girl or boy was growing bigger and bigger with each passing day.

“I’m going to - a father – you mean – you’re – I mean we… Swan?!”

The mumbled words and incoherent babbling was so unlike Killian in every way, but to Emma it was beyond endearing, and watching the whole host of reactions that crossed his face was brilliant. He went through every phase she’d been in since finding out she was pregnant, excitement, glee, a little bit of trepidation, but mostly there was this love infused thankfulness that only someone who had lost everything before could know. The two of them had seen the darkest depths of what life could offer, and so it made this moment where things were so totally and completely good all the more wonderful.

“Yup. You and I have roughly six months to get ready for a new addition to the Jones family, and then you’ll get a new, slightly less ‘colorful’ moniker: Daddy.”

That was evidently the final straw for her husband, and the next thing Emma knew she was being pulled closer, her lips crashing against Killian’s as he kissed her with so much feeling and emotion that it superseded all other things. It was heated and yet sweet all at once, intimate but unabashed in its publicness, and truthfully Emma couldn’t tell where she ended and where Killian began because she was so wrapped up in him that she lost the ability to decipher anything but that she loved him and that she was really and gloriously happy.

The rest of the world faded away for a while then as one kiss turned to two and then three and then more than Emma could count, and all that remained in the meantime was the two of them, both thrilled and elated at the new adventure they had waiting for them and this next chapter of their lives that would be so worth all that hard work and fighting they’d put in the past few years. This was a part of that whole happy beginning they were after all along, and with Killian by her side Emma knew she was more than ready for this new challenge and this next step they would take together.

“Every day you give me more and more reason to love you, Emma, and today has been no different,” Killian said when they finally pulled apart, their foreheads resting against each other as Emma closed her eyes and just soaked in this perfect moment with her one true love. “I don’t know how a man can possibly be this blessed, but I swear to you this child will know just as you do that there is nothing and no one above our family to me. This, right here, is the most important thing, and it always, always will be.”

The power of those words for Emma, a woman who had at one time had considered herself to be nothing more than a lost little girl, was immense, and again those happy tears fell, spilling over her cheeks before they were wiped away by Killian as he whispered more words of affection and love. In response the only thing Emma could think to do was tell him that she loved him too and then kiss him senseless all over again, waiting party guests be damned.

Eventually, however, the two of them did face the music, arriving at the party and telling everyone the good news (because Killian couldn’t bear to keep the secret). There was, of course, the obvious hope and joy Emma had expected from their family and friends, and in the end the night was a great one that was more than worthy of remembering because of all the laughs and enjoyment that was had amongst them all. And every year from that point on when that same date rolled around, Emma didn’t hear any complaints from Killian about his ‘birthday,’ because he agreed that there was more than enough cause to celebrate and more than enough blessings to keep the Jones family happy and grateful forever more.

Post-Note: So there we have it, another fic where I give Emma and Killian more pieces of the happily ever after puzzle I am so hoping they manage to find. I truly don’t think I can write enough of these, but I will certainly try in the absence of seeing it on the show itself. Anyway I hope that this chapter found all of you in the midst of good days. Thank you all for reading and happy birthday to my lovely readers celebrating in the coming weeks!

#captain swan #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #cs fic #cs ff #cs fluff #cs married #pregnant cs #emma swan #killian jones #belle #regina #henry #snowing #ouat fic #it's raining cs fluff #a pirate's perfect birthday

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captainswanluver · 8 years ago

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CS FF: Say You Won’t Let Go

Summary: Emma struggles to accept Killian abandoned her, as Snow lends her advice and support. Meanwhile, Killian fights to get back to Emma. (My version of things.)

Rating: G

Note: So this is how I would write things if I wrote the show. I fully expect Emma to feel abandoned because of her past issues, but I did not like that second sneak peek. While drunk Snow might be amusing, that’s not who Emma needs right now and I don’t believe Emma would just try to move on so quickly, no matter how much she was hurting. So this is pulling bits and pieces of what we know from the promo and sneak peeks. Also, I have no clue how Jasmine, Aladdin, and Agrabah fit into this story, so I am not even going to address it. I just wanted to make it so Killian could get home, they could reunite, and work through things. Hope you enjoy it! ~Steph

...Say You Won’t Let Go: Part 1/1...

Emma sat in the dark in the living room all night long. She hoped that he was just out getting some air, doing some thinking, putting a bit of space between them. She never imagined that he would leave her. Abandon her like everyone she ever loved who had come before him. Not him. He was the one person who would never do that.

Every time she heard even the slightest of sounds, she jumped up from the couch and ran to the door, throwing it open. And, every time, her heart sank into her stomach at the sight of an empty porch and snow falling before her.

The house seemed so empty without him. When she had bought this house as the Dark One, the house Killian had chosen for them, she had imagined it filled with her family and with him. She had even imagined their future children running around it. She had never imagined being alone in it.

Emma didn't go upstairs until the sun had risen into the sky. She moved to Killian's chest that sat on the floor in their bedroom. She opened the top, her heart sinking once more. A bag and some of his belongings were missing.

Her worst fear had come true. He had abandoned her. He had left without saying a word.

Emma reached around her neck and removed the necklace with the ring hanging on it that he had given her. While he was in the Underworld, she had used it to feel close to him, to feel connected. After all they had been through, how could this be how it ended?

Tears stung her eyes, as she clutched the ring to her heart.

"Where are you, Killian? Please come back to me."

...

Killian pounded his fist against the porthole.

"Bloody hell! I need to get off this damn vessel!"

Nemo sighed. "I realize you are frustrated, but abusing my submarine will do you no good."

Killian's eyes flared at his old friend. "You don't understand. Emma's going to think I abandoned her. If I hadn't changed my mind, then I was going to call her to say goodbye. To explain that I would be leaving until I could be the man she deserves. I knew I couldn't bear to tell her face to face. I would lose my courage to leave. But then I spoke to Snow and I knew that leaving was not the answer."

"I'm sorry things happened the way they did."

"Emma is going to think I am just one more person who abandoned her. I always swore I would never be that man. And she is in danger. Gideon won't stop until he has eliminated Emma. I have to find a way to get back right now!"

"I'm afraid that's not possible. We need Kraken’s blood to be able to cross realms, of which we have none."

Killian sighed heavily and sank down onto a barrel. "Every minute I spend down here is killing me. And I might never see Emma again if Gideon has his way." He paused and met Nemo’s gaze. “We need to get that Kraken’s blood.”

...

Snow threw open the door to the loft, revealing her daughter. She immediately knew something was wrong. Emma's eyes were red rimmed and she looked exhausted.

"Emma? Are you okay?"

Emma walked right past her into the loft.

"He's gone. Hook's gone."

Snow's eyes grew wide. "What? What are you talking about?"

"He never came home last night and some of his things are gone. I can't find him anywhere."

Snow placed a hand on her arm. "Sweetheart, there must be some kind of explanation. You just got engaged. He would never leave you."

Emma dropped her eyes and Snow looked down at her hand.

"Where's your engagement ring?"

"We put that on pause," she replied softly.

"I don't understand. Why? You were so happy the other day."

"There's something I need to tell you and dad, but not right now. Let's just say that things are strained between us at the moment."

"Okay, so maybe he just needed a little space and time to think then. Now that I think about it, when I saw him down at the docks last night, he did seem a bit troubled."

"Wait. You saw Killian at the docks last night?"

"Yes. I told him about Regina and how happy I was that you two were getting married. He-...

Snow stopped abruptly.

"What?"

"Well, he did have a bag with him. He said he was just getting some things from the Jolly Roger."

Emma felt a knot grow in her stomach.

"I need to go down to the docks."

"I'll go with you," Snow said.

...

Killian looked down at Emma's engagement ring in his palm.

"Please, love, be safe. I know you can feel me, Emma. We've always had such a deep connection. Please hear me now. I would never abandon you. I will do everything in my power to get back to you. Please don't give up on us, Swan. Please don't give up on me. I love you, Emma. Don't ever forget that."

He squeezed the ring in his hand.

...

Emma and Snow arrived at the docks.

"He was standing right here," her mother said.

Emma looked out at the water, a lump growing in her throat.

"The Nautilus. It's gone. Killian must have left with Nemo."

"Emma, I don't know what happened between you two, but I just don't believe Killian would leave without telling you."

"I told him he wasn’t acting like the man I fell in love with. He kept something from me instead of coming to me so we could work through it together. I told him that when he was ready to do that then we could talk about marriage."

Snow sighed. "Then maybe he believed some time away would help him find that man again. He only took some of his belongings and his ship is still here. He must plan on returning. But, Emma, you know he would have called you, at the very least left a note, if he believed this is what he needed to do right now. Something doesn’t seem right."

"I never thought he would abandon me," Emma said in a whisper. "Maybe he's not the man I thought he was."

"That is your pain talking, Emma. That is your past issues with abandonment rearing their ugly head. You know how much Hook has changed. He loves you so much. There must be some other explanation."

“I just don’t know what to think right now, Mom.”

Snow put her arm around her daughter’s shoulder. "Come on, you need a break. Let's go somewhere to get your mind off everything."

Emma shook her head. "I don't think I'd be very good company right now. I'm just going to go home."

"Honey, I don't think it's a good idea for you to go home and wallow alone.”

“I am not going to wallow. I don't wallow,” she replied sharply.

"Emma-..."

But Emma turned on her heel and walked away without another word.

...

Liam sat down beside his brother.

"I realize you're frustrated and worried about Emma, but do you really believe attempting to retrieve Kraken's blood is wise?"

Killian met his brother's eyes. "I don't have a choice. It's the only way to get back to Emma. I don't know if she'll ever be able to forgive me and trust me again, but even if she doesn't, I need to know she's safe. I need to be there to help her defeat Gideon."

"You truly love this woman, don't you?"

Killian nodded slowly. "More than I ever thought possible." He paused, swallowing hard and dropping his gaze. "But I am well aware I don't deserve her. I am well aware I am not deserving of a happy ending with her."

Liam licked at his lips slowly. "Why do you say that?"

Killian's eyes widened as he met his brother's gaze. "You should understand more than anyone, Liam. I killed our father and left you all alone. You became consumed with seeking revenge. I destroyed lives, families, as a pirate. I cared about no one but myself. I left so many families without their loved ones and I didn't care."

"But you do now. Killian, you've changed. You're a hero now. You've helped so many people."

"It doesn't change the terrible things I did in my past. My past continues to haunt me, as it should. Why should I get to have a happy ending, get to be with the woman I love, have a family, when I stole that very thing from so many others?"

"Are you truly sorry for the things you've done, brother?"

Killian nodded. "Aye, that I am."

"Then I think it's time you stop punishing yourself and try to forgive yourself instead."

"Easier said than done," Killian replied.

Liam nodded. "That it is. I don't remember much about our father, but I do remember this. He always said anything worth doing shouldn't be easy. It's in the struggle that we grow and learn. I know Father would want you to live a full, happy life, Killian."

"Thank you, Liam," Killian said. “I appreciate that more than you know.”

…

Hours later, having been tricked into coming to the bar, Emma sat across from her mother and Regina, staring forlornly into her drink.

"How about a game of darts?" Regina suggested, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

Emma glanced at the dartboard, replying softly, "Killian was playing darts when I asked him out on our first date."

Regina rolled her eyes and picked up her glass, muttering into it, "So you're going to be that person."

Emma shrugged. "I'm sorry, but I warned you I wouldn't be good company. I can't pretend like I'm not thinking about him. Two days ago, I was the happiest I had ever been. I had everything I had ever wanted. And now it feels like it's all falling apart. I know what you want me to say. You want me to say I need to move on, but I can't. I don't know how."

"Sweetheart, you just need to give yourself some time to process everything. And, no, I don’t expect you to just move on,” Snow said.

“I do,” Regina chimed in.

“Regina,” Snow said through gritted teeth.

Regina shrugged and took another swig of her drink. Snow turned back to Emma.

“I think assuming this is the end for you and Killian is a mistake. There is always hope. I still believe you two will get your happy ending."

"Maybe there really isn't a happy ending for me."

Regina sighed in defeat. "Your mother is right, Emma. If the Evil Queen can have a happy ending, then so can you and the pirate."

Emma shook her head. "But every time something good happens to me, it never lasts. It all falls apart. For a long time, I ran away from love because I was afraid of getting hurt again, afraid of losing love again. And then I met Killian. It took a long time, but he made me believe that love could last. He helped me realize that I needed to stop running, that this was my home. He helped me realize that this is where I belong and, in time, I came to believe that I belonged here with him. I just...I never thought he would end up running."

Snow covered her daughter's hand with her own. "Killian loves you, Emma. I know he wants a life, a future, with you. I am as sure of that as I am of anything. But maybe he is scared too. You know what it feels like to be scared to tell the people you love something difficult. You’ve kept your own secrets. Killian feels he failed you. And maybe he just needs some time to prove to you and himself that he is worthy of your love."

Emma took a deep breath. "I guess I wasn’t exactly fair to him. I reacted pretty badly. You’re right, I’ve kept secrets too. And he’s always been understanding and forgiving with me.” She paused for a moment. “But I just don't understand why he thought running was the answer and then left without telling me."

Regina shrugged. "I have to admit that doesn't sound like the pirate."

Emma stood up abruptly, shaking her head, as she blinked back tears. "I'm sorry, I just really need to go. I need to be alone right now."

"Emma," Snow said.

"Thank you both for trying to help," she said, before exiting the bar.

...

The Nautilus arrived in the deep, dark waters where the Kraken dwelled. Killian stood before Nemo, his brother, and the crew.

“My apologies for forcing you to go near such a dangerous creature. It was not fair of me. As you can see, I am desperate to get back to the woman I love. But it is my risk to take, not yours.”

Nemo shook his head. “My friend, please think this over. The Kraken is far too dangerous to battle alone. It would be a suicide mission.”

“I have to try. I have no other choice.”

“Then let us help,” Liam said.

Killian shook his head. “No, I have destroyed far too many families as it is. I will not do it anymore. I was a selfish man as a pirate. I took what I wanted without a care to the consequences. I am not that man anymore. Emma fell in love with a man who put others before his own selfish needs. That is the man I need to be. I will go alone.”

Nemo stepped forward, placing his hand on Killian’s shoulder. “From what you have told me, Emma fell in love with a man who knows that some things must be done together. That sometimes you must rely on the people in your life who care about you, rather than tackle things on your own. That is the man you must be for her.”

Killian moved his gaze from Nemo to meet his brother’s eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Aye,” Liam replied.

Killian nodded and turned back to Nemo. “I cannot thank you enough. But please do not give this as an order to your crew. Please allow them to decide for themselves if this is a risk they are willing to take.”

“I will, but I know my crew. They are always on the side of what is right.”

…

Emma returned to the docks, to the spot where Snow had last seen Killian. The sun was beginning to set as she looked out at the water.

"Why did you leave me? I miss you," she said, her voice breaking.

Emma leaned forward on the railing and looked down into the water. Her brow furrowed as she noticed something lying on a rock jutting up out of the water. Emma waved her hand and the object flew up onto the dock, landing by her feet.

Her eyes widened at the black bag that was in front of her. She knelt down beside it.

"It's Killian's," she breathed.

She unzipped the bag and found the items missing from his chest inside.

"Why would he leave without his things? Mom said he had the bag with him when she saw him. What could have happened?"

A moment later, Gideon appeared in front of her.

"I just couldn't bear to watch you cry over your beloved pirate one second more."

Emma stood and shook the bag at him, her eyes flaring. "It was you, wasn’t it? You made Killian disappear. What did you do with him?!"

"Don't worry. He's safe...for now. I just couldn't have him around. On the bright side, at least you know he didn't abandon you. He was planning on leaving for just a spell, but changed his mind. I am sure he would have said goodbye, but I didn't exactly give him a chance."

"Tell me where he is."

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. I can’t have him here for what I have planned for you.”

Emma’s brow furrowed. “What are you planning?”

“And ruin the surprise? I think not.”

He then waved his hand and disappeared.

Emma clutched the bag to her chest. “I should have known you would never abandon me. I will find you, Killian.”

…

Once in their diving suits, Killian and the others loaded onto a smaller sub. They navigated through the murky waters until they could see a huge figure up ahead, tentacles stretching out before them.

Killian pointed. “Up ahead. Right there.”

Nemo slowed the boat and then brought it to a stop. “We must swim the rest of the way. If we are to succeed, it must not see us coming.”

Killian held up the spears. “We must attack from all sides.”

“Attack each tentacle,” Nemo added. “Then it will show its head. Once it does, we attack its head together.”

“Aye,” Killian agreed.

Nemo opened the door and the men swam out. They spread out, approaching the beast from all sides. Killian was the first to attack. He jabbed his spear into one tentacle. The other men followed suit. The Kraken began thrashing its tentacles violently. It hit Liam and sent him flying to the ocean floor.

“Brother!” Killian yelled, as he looked down at him.

Liam gave him a thumbs up, as he quickly swam back up.

Killian was distracted by his concern for his brother and didn’t see the Kraken raise its tentacle. It hit him across the face. He went flying backwards, but quickly recovered. All of the men attacked the tentacles again, causing the creature to reveal his head. Two huge, glowing eyes appeared before them.

“Now!” Nemo yelled, as he pointed at the head.

The men charged forward, attacking the head with their spears. The Kraken let out a howl as its tentacles moved about wildly. The men were relentless, dodging it tentacles as they continued to jab their spears into its head. Finally, it let out one more long, anguished howl, before the glow of its eyes disappeared and it slowly fell to the ocean floor.

Killian quickly followed it to the ground, removing the vessel from a pouch hanging around his neck. The Kraken’s blood was slowly seeping from its many wounds. Killian pulled the top off the vessel and held it up to one of the wounds. It quickly filled with the Kraken’s blood. Killian replaced the top and gave a thumbs up to the men.

Killian and the others swam back to the small submarine and entered it. Killian pulled his helmet off.

“We did it. I can’t thank you all enough.”

Nemo patted his shoulder. “Let’s get you back to your love. Your happiness is all the thanks we need.”

Killian felt a smile pull at his lips. He only hoped he wasn’t too late to help save Emma and salvage their relationship.

…

Emma pounded on the loft door. Snow opened the door a moment later.

“Emma, what’s wrong?”

Emma came barreling in, as she held up the bag. “He didn’t abandon me. You were right, Mom. He was thinking about leaving to try to find the man I fell in love with, but I know he would have told me before he left. He never got the chance. I found Killian’s bag on the rock in the water and then Gideon showed up. He told me he sent Killian away.”

Snow’s eyes widened. “Where? Why?”

“I don’t know where. He said he didn’t want Killian around for what he has planned for me.”

“That means he must be planning on doing something to you that could be reversed with an act of true love.”

Emma let a small smile pull at her lips. “He didn’t abandon me,” she said softly.

Snow took Emma’s hand in hers. “See, I told you there was hope. You just needed to look for it.”

“But I need to find Killian now, Mom. There’s no telling where Gideon sent him. He could be in danger.”

“I don’t see how we can find him. He could be anywhere and Gideon didn’t give you any clues.”

Emma’s eyes lit up. “A locator spell. This bag belonged to him. Regina can use it to do a locator spell.”

Snow nodded. “Great idea. But you know it will only work if he’s still in this realm.”

“I have to try,” Emma said, as she turned on her heel and exited the loft.

…

“Hurry, please,” Emma said to Regina.

“Patience, Ms. Swan. You do realize that if Hook is in a different realm, then this will not work, right?”

“Yes, I know.”

Regina finished doing the spell. Suddenly, the bag began to float into the air.

Emma smiled. “That means he’s in this realm.”

It made its way to the front door, as Emma followed. “Thank you,” she called over her shoulder.

“Good luck!” Regina replied.

…

Emma followed the bag as it turned onto their street and then made her way down the sidewalk. The bag stopped in front of their house and then dropped to the ground. Her heart sank into her stomach.

“Something must have gone wrong,” she said softly, picking up the bag. “It brought me back to our house. It must have been going back to one of the last places he was, rather than where he is now.”

Slowly, she made her way down the walk and up the porch stairs. She went inside, the quiet and emptiness of the house hitting her like a ton of bricks again. Her mind became flooded with questions. What if she couldn’t find him? What if he never came back? What if Gideon’s plan to eliminate her could only be stopped by Killian and he’s nowhere to be found?

Emma shook her head, as tears stung her eyes. Her hopes had been dashed again. She wanted to be optimistic like her mother, but they had been torn apart so many times that it was getting harder and harder to do. She could only hope that things would seem better in the morning.

Emma dropped Killian’s bag onto the floor by the door and made her way to the stairs. All she wanted was a hot shower, her warm bed, and to forget about everything. But she dreaded that big bed, Killian’s side glaringly empty. She decided to sleep in the guest bedroom tonight. Emma entered their bedroom to shower and gather her things before going to bed. She hadn’t even crossed the threshold when her eyes landed on his figure standing in front of their bed.

“Swan,” he breathed, his heart racing at the sight of her.

Killian didn’t know what kind of reaction to expect from her. After all, they had parted on bad terms and she thought he abandoned her.

“Killian,” she said, her breath catching in her chest.

Emma stood frozen to her spot for a long moment, before finally gaining the power to move. She crossed the room in record time, flying into his arms so hard she nearly knocked him down.

Killian’s eyes widened, as she snaked her arms around his neck and he wrapped his around her waist. It certainly wasn’t the reaction he had been expecting. Emma buried her face in his neck.

“I missed you so much,” she whispered, as she finally pulled back and met his eyes.

Killian brought his hand up to caress her cheek. “I missed you too, love. I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“I’m glad you’re okay too. I’m so glad you’re here,” she said.

Killian licked at his lips nervously. “I am so sorry, Emma. I know you thought I abandoned you, but I would never do that. I knew I wasn’t the man you needed me to be so I was going to go on the Nautilus to try to find him. But I swear to you I never would have left without telling you. After I talked to your mother, I changed my mind about leaving, but then Gideon sent me away.”

Emma took his hand in hers. “I know. I was hurt and it made me believe things that I should have known better than to believe. I know you would never abandon me, Killian. I’m sorry I ever thought you would.”

Killian swallowed roughly. “It’s okay, love. I understand. After what happened between us, I suppose I gave you good reason to doubt me.”

Emma shook her head. “No. Listen to me, Killian. You made a mistake, but I understand why you did it. You were afraid of hurting me and losing me. And you were scared of living with the truth. I know what that’s like. I wish I had been able to see that and hadn’t reacted the way I did.”

“Emma, please don’t blame yourself for my shortcomings. I should have told you the truth when I planned to. I should have come to you so we could deal with it together. I know I wasn’t the man you need me to be.”

Emma nodded. “You are the man I need you to be, Killian. If you weren’t, then you never would have even considered telling me. You didn’t need to go anywhere to find that man. Running is never the answer. Trust me, I should know. We need to figure things out together, no matter how hard or painful it might be.”

“Aye, love. No more running. No more secrets. No more lies.”

Emma bobbed her head. “We will go to my parents and tell them the truth and we will deal with the consequences together.”

Killian sucked in a breath. “Okay.”

She brought her hands up to cup his face. “I know it’s hard, Killian. You and I were alone for most of our loves. We learned to fend for ourselves, to rely on no one. But we’re not alone anymore. We have family and friends who love us. We have each other. I know sometimes it’s easier to revert back to those people who had no one, but easier isn’t always right.”

A smile pulled at Killian’s lips. “My brother reminded me of something my father used to say. He always said anything worth doing shouldn't be easy. It's in the struggle that we grow and learn.”

Emma smiled. “Your father was a wise man.” She paused and then pressed her lips to his in a kiss. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” he whispered. “Emma, you must know I fought like hell to get back to you. I knew you were in danger and hurting because you thought I abandoned you. I knew I would stop at nothing to get back to you as soon as possible.”

“I’m so glad you did. Once I realized what Gideon had done, I was trying to find you, but the locator spell led me here. I thought it was a mistake...and then there you were.”

Killian sighed heavily. “Gideon isn’t going to stop until he eliminates you, Emma.”

Emma’s expression grew serious as she met his gaze. “I know. He wanted you out of the way for a reason, Killian. That means you could be in danger, too.”

“I’m not worried about myself.”

“Well, I am,” she replied.

Killian squeezed her hand in his. “Listen to me, love. We will figure out his plan together and then we will defeat him. If there’s one thing I vow to never again forget, it’s that we are always stronger together.”

Emma nodded and smiled, as she kissed him again.

...THE END…

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. I’d appreciate hearing what you thought. ~Steph

#cs ff #CS fic #CS fanfics #cs spec fic #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #captain swan fanfics

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