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thenameswinterfics · 21 days ago

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BETWEEN DARK AND THE VOID

Chapter 1 - L'Appel Du Vide

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Pairing: Thunderbolts!Bucky Barnes x MutantFemale!Reader Setting: Thunderbolts* Summary: Reluctantly, after a call you accept to help Bucky, your ex-boyfriend, with a task. What should have been a simple impeachment becomes a New York rescue mission, swallowed by a mysterious dark fog. After failing to save two innocent people, and overwhelmed by guilt from your dark past, you answer the call of The Void and abandon yourself to the uncertainty of nothingness. It's up to Bucky to save you and bring you back. Word Count: 6.2 K Chapter Warnings: Thunderbolts* spoilers, Reader is a mutant with the molecular reconfiguration powers, angst, hurt, mention of past trauma, typical canon violence, mention of torture (not described), Reader being mean at first, protective Bucky, no use of y/n. If I have missed some CW, please let me know and I'll add them!

AN: I'm back, this time for real! I never thought that a Marvel movie and my old obsession with Bucky Barnes would bring the writing muses back to me. This is the first fic after some months of writing's block, so apologize if it's not perfect. Many thanks to my wife @sylasthegrim for helping me with the title and to my love @bcksbarnes for beta reading, brainstorming through the fic outline, being my cheerleader and simply bear with me. You're the best, I love you with all my heart! I highly expect this to flop, so thank you for the few ones who will read it.

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE. I APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE FOR MY GRAMMAR AND VOCABULARY MISTAKES.

BUCKY BARNES MASTERLIST | BETWEEN DARK AND THE VOID MASTERLIST

Appel du vide: "The call of the void". French term that explains an urge to do something dangerous even though you don’t intend to.

The streets of New York had never been so dark.

The skyscrapers that once towered over the city, imposing and gleaming, now disappeared into a veil of darkness, their figures swallowed up in an ominous embrace. Even cars and people seemed to suffer the same fate, falling into a dark hole that slowly, but dangerously, spread through the streets; swallowing everything in its path.

Above this dark fog, Void stood, now in full control of Bob, watching the chaos unfold beneath his feet, not blinking at the high-pitched screams of people running for safety. As he stood, like a god descending to earth to judge mankind, he slowly raised a hand, transforming people into powdery silhouettes stuck to the ground, soon to be moulded by the impending darkness as it moved swiftly towards the crowd.

It was like the scene of one of the most terrifying horror films: planes crashing next to buildings, piles of rubble falling from the sky and destroying everything in sight, cries of children looking for their parents. People ran with every ounce of strength they had left to escape this dark nightmare that was spreading across the city like a living shadow, swallowing up hope, light and every trace of normal life in its relentless path.

But this was the reality. And nothing would seem willing to stop this madness.

You paused under a porch with the rest of the Thunderbolts, your cheeks flushed as you placed your palm against the cold plaster of the wall, your chest rising and falling at a fast pace. You could hear Bucky muttering a few words as he watched the city go pitch black, Walker holding an unstable Alexei, ranting about losing Yelena and not forgiving himself. Ava was the only one silent, pondering her next move, and you were glad that your powers did not allow you to read people's minds, or you would go mad between your own thoughts and those of others.

You knew something was wrong the moment Bucky called you after months of silence; given the strained relations between you two, you were even surprised that the former Hydra assassin - now Brooklyn Congressman - had the time to dial your number and ask for your support with a mission.

You were different from the other heroes and villains who lived among humans — there was something deep and unpredictable in your genetics that set you apart. Most of them chose to become one voluntarily, undergoing genetic experiments to enhance their physical abilities. Others were tech geniuses who compensated for their lack of physical strength with their intellect, building armour and other technical equipment to support civilians. Then there were those who were simply highly trained agents and assassins, who had spent most of their lives honing their bodies into weapons for use for either good or evil.

But you? You were born with powers; your genes had been mutating naturally ever since you were in your mother's womb. There were no labs, no special training, no choices. It was just you, emerging with untamed powers cursing through your veins, marking you as someone superior to the humans.

In the same way you didn’t choose who to work with, you were too young to understand the wrong hands you had fallen into. You were a victim of your own father’s plans to rule the world, seeing you as both his cherished daughter and his precious weapon.

After years of being chained against your will, you became a free spirit, travelling the world and playing the role of the hero you'd never been, helping people and saving them from the clutches of enemies. No matter how strong or bizarre the villains were, whether they were dangerous aliens from another universe or little bullies tormenting the weak boy at school: you would be there, steady and vigilant, protecting every human in your sight. Whether this was your sudden calling, or simply a way to lift your shoulders from the burden of your past, orto keep your hands clean from the innocent blood spilled, was hard for you to know.

But as you listened to Congressman Barnes' voice - low and soft, which was how he usually spoke to you - rattle on about a crucial task for the New York citizens, you realised how high the stakes were.

He called it “impeachment”, a way to remove Valentina and her shady business away from the CIA and the government, and valid witnesses were still on the loose. Four former assassins who cleaned the mess the woman made, four valid testimonies that would make Val’s empire fall like a house of cards. Who better than you to know the best tactics to track down a group of former criminals and catch them?

A part of you wanted to refuse — you were “cleaned” from that shady business. And how could you ever work for the political machine that still had a price on your head, after being a former criminal yourself? The same twisted mechanism that drove a wall between you and Bucky?

Yet, the shivers that ran down your spine when you heard Bucky's voice, the way his tongue rolled deliciously every time he called you 'doll', the pleading tone of his request, the puppy-dog steel-blue eyes that you could almost feel through the screen…it made it hard for you to decline.

And so there you were, stuck with your ex-boyfriend and a bunch of people you barely met less than 24 hours before, one of them lost into the darkness.

Not the best situation to find yourself in the last moments of your life.

“I’m going after her,” Ava said, breaking the silence as she marched quickly through the dark fog that continued to spread.

Bucky grabbed her arm with his vibranium hand, stopping her from carrying out her plan. “And then what?”

“If she walked there, she did it for a reason,” Ava answered quickly, nervously looking at the black fog spreading.

“What if she’s dead? What if there’s no coming back?” Bucky countered, the frustration and worry in his voice clear to hear. They had already lost Yelena, as well as many others who had fallen victim to Void’s actions. Deep down, he was regretful for not being the hero he wanted to be, and for letting down all the people who had applauded him just minutes before the disaster was unleashed.

It was a sight that reminded him of all the sleepless nights and looming nightmares, and of that damn little notebook with all those names marked in it, deluding him into believing he was absolved of sins he himself was not the main perpetrator of.

Your heart ached to see him so defeated. So remorseful.

"He's right, Ava," you said, standing up straight and joining the conversation. Your voice was still slightly breathless from the previous run. “Did we all see what happened to Yelena?” She was there with us, flesh and blood, with just a few scratches on her pretty face. And now? Puff! Vanished! Gone!” You grabbed your knees, allowing your lungs to catch as much air as they could before continuing. “Let’s get one thing straight. We lost. Just… how can we protect the people of this city if we aren’t able to defend ourselves? We can’t win against that thing. It’s over.”

A heavy silence fell over the group, and you almost cursed yourself for what you had said. Had they lifted the group's spirits? Of course not.

“You know? You have many great qualities, but comforting people isn’t one of them” said Ava, breaking the silence once again. Her voice was decisive and carried a hint of disdain. Then, she faced Bucky again, her gaze sweeping over the city. “And about Yelena. What if she isn’t gone?”

“How do you know that?” Bucky replied, his voice a little lower as he resumed his argument with her. You turned your head to look for any human who had escaped the powers of the Void, and that was where your world stopped.

And Bucky's words were the last you heard.

Everything around you grew muffled and distant, as if you were sinking underwater. You could hear Walker muttering something to the team, but his words seemed to come from miles away. Alexei's voice was next, you were sure of it, but this time you couldn’t make out his exact words. A third voice called out to you - who was it this time? Ava? Bucky? You imagining Yelena’s witty comments over you? You couldn't tell - it sounded like distant echoes.

You seemed gone, your mind disconnected from your body, travelling to another universe. But the truth was that something - or someone - caught your attention.

Your gaze was drawn to a small figure in the distance, wriggling through the rubble, and the rest of the world faded away. You could hear and feel the child’s loud cries in your ears and in your heart. You could feel your eardrums ringing and your chest tightening in an uncomfortable vice. Next to the child was a woman who quickly scooped him up and ran as if her life depended on it. They were running away — or at least trying to — desperately seeking refuge to save themselves temporarily.

They were like the same civilians that you had tried to help before but failed to save, and who had now been sucked into the void.

And suddenly your words ceased to make sense.

“We lost”, suddenly echoed in your head. “How can we protect the people of this city if we aren’t able to defend ourselves?” These words made you wrinkle your nose in disgust. How could you ever call yourself a hero when your mind was clouded by such pessimistic thoughts? Had you not sworn to protect the most vulnerable after leaving your brutal past behind?

The shame of your words gnawed at you, raw and relentless. Hearing the mother reassure her son, keeping her nerves steady despite the situation made you feel the urge to act again. They were a reminder of how hard they were still fighting. How they were still trying.

This gave you a new sense of hope. Maybe the war was far from over.

You quickly stood up, your hands trembling and adrenaline suddenly rushing through your veins as if your body had awoken from a paralysed state. Without thinking, you started running towards them, your mind filled with a new sense of purpose.

But your dreams of glory were cut short by a firm grasp on your arm and the coldness of metal beneath your leather tactical suit. You turned your gaze and saw Bucky watching you with a clenched jaw and a severe but worried look in his steel-blue eyes.

“Where do you think you're going, doll?” he asked in a low, gravelly voice, pulling you close with a firm grip. It was bruising, but not tight enough to cause pain.

“Let me go, Barnes!” you replied through clenched teeth, jerking your arm free. He loosened his grip and you stood facing each other while the rest of the group watched, ready to intervene if either of you lost your temper.

“There are still civilians out there who can be saved. I’ll go and keep them safe-”

“So what? Do you want to end up like Yelena? Disappearing inside that black thing and leaving no trace?” Bucky snapped at you, your sudden recklessness was the last thing he needed. There was no venom in his words, only concern and… Was it protectiveness what you felt?

“You've seen how devastated Alexei is. Do you think we can face another loss like that? Well, let me tell you something, doll. We can’t take another loss like that. I can’t bear the thought of losing you!”

You stared at him, stunned by his words. You noticed how his voice faltered when he said he couldn’t bear your absence, how his body trembled when he was overcome with anger and fear, and the apprehension lurking beneath his words. Suddenly, memories of your past together rushed wildly through your mind, making your breathing quicken and your heart hammer in your chest.

That was the Bucky you fell in love with. The damaged super soldier who struggled to find his place in the world. The man who would scream in the middle of the night, beads of sweat on his forehead, and you would rush to his side, cradling him in your arms and mentally curse Hydra for the damage they had done to him. The sweet, caring and overly protective man who would always watch your back on missions, check your wounds and kiss every inch of your bruised skin to ease the pain. The man who would not hesitate to sacrifice his life for you.

But that part of him died the moment he chose to run for Congress, hiding behind a cloak of righteousness that felt uncharacteristic. You could see it in the way he immersed himself in the country's twisted politics, pretending to read file after file and barely acknowledging your presence in the house. You could see it in the way he came home late and stressed from endless meetings, barely having time for you. And when you chose to run away and find your own place in the world? There were no messages, no missed calls and no attempt to trace you.

You became strangers. Never before had you considered going back to when life was easier for the two of you, when you would cuddle up together, feeling the ghost of his lips on yours.

No, there was no time to regret what had been. The lives of ordinary people were more important than a futile argument.

“James,” you called him, his real name felt strange on your tongue. “I saw a mother and child running through the streets, trying to find shelter. They can’t save themselves if we stand here mulling over what to do.”

You saw Bucky moving around nervously, his hands firmly on his hips and his gaze darting between the black fog and you. “You will fail like all the others we have saved before. Like we failed to keep Yelena with us. If they're not dead, they're stuck in that nightmare from which there's no escape."

“We don’t know if we don’t try!” you countered back, frustration rising in your voice as you heard the few people’s screams die behind you, making you more and more nervous.

“Oh, so Miss ‘We-Fail-Because-We-Suck’ feels guilty and decided to return to action?” Walker joined the conversation, a hint of mockery in his serious voice.

“I don't need you to remind me of what I said before, Walker, thank you,”' you replied, annoyed. “Stay here and mutter all you want, but those two people outside are still our last hope, and I won’t be the one to let them down.”

You approached Bucky with slow and deliberate steps, your hand raised in an attempt to cup his cheek but you stopped mid air, afraid that he would not welcome your gesture. It was the intensity of his gaze that made you want to give up, but then your hand was on his cheek, gently rubbing his stubble.

“I’ve seen that look of yours, James. Every damn time. You think it’s because of you why we’re all stuck here, you feel guilty because you brought us with you and see the failure of your actions in our eyes,” you spoke to him, low and soft, as if you were talking to a frightened child, “You have done more than enough. You couldn't have foreseen that this would happen. You have all played your part. Now it's my turn. Let me make things right for once in my life.”

You were about to turn and leave the group when you felt a sudden warmth anchor you in place — a firm, slightly trembling hand covering yours. Bucky's hand held yours with an intensity you hadn't felt in years. In that breathless instant, his steel-blue eyes met yours, no longer guarded or distant. Behind them was something burning and pleading, like a man standing at the edge of a cliff, desperate to be heard before the wind carried everything away.

“I won't allow you to sacrifice yourself, doll,” Bucky replied firmly, his voice contrasting with the anxiety he was feeling. Drawing on the last of your mental strength, you slipped your hand out of his.

“I'm not going to ask your permission,” you said, turning your back on him. Before his hands could reach you again, you were gone, like sand carried by the wind.

The city opened up before you, revealing a surreal scene: the dusty streets were strewn with debris and parts of places had been destroyed amid the chaos that had unfolded. But it was the deafening silence that struck you the most, so atypical for such a huge, lively city.

In the distance, you could hear the soft, quick footsteps of the remaining survivors, the gradually fading noise of cars, and several thuds that echoed in the air — a sign that they had been sent into that darkness with no apparent escape.

You were now standing in an open field, easily navigating the debris as you scanned the area for the mother and son running away in the distance. Maintaining your focus, you pressed your palms against the boulders, which shattered into many small pieces as they fell softly to the ground. Dust swirled in the air as you moved forward with fluid, measured movements, turning over large boulders and clearing the way for the civilians still fleeing.

From a young age, you had the ability to manipulate matter and turn it into whatever you pleased. You first demonstrated this ability when you were with your mother at home. A soft crackling sound came from the ceiling, startling you both, but it wasn’t serious enough to cause any alarm. Then the crack spread further and splinters of wood began to fall to the ground. When you saw that the entire beam was about to collapse, something inside you snapped.

At first, it felt as if time had stopped and the wooden beams were gracefully floating above your head. Then, as if in response to an unspoken command, you could feel the air humming around you. The matter melted and reformed as the splintered wood bent and flowed like liquid silk. The newly formed jagged shards fell to the ground like a thousand needles.

Your father called this a blessing. You called it a curse.

As you grew up, you learned about the dangerous paths you could take with your abilities, and your father forced you to do things you would later regret. You reshaped walls, floors and ceilings whenever you needed to break in unnoticed; you turned a broken chair into a weapon whenever there was a fight; and you were quick to disarm enemy weapons. You could still remember how easily you turned an endowed rifle into a puddle of dark liquid, giving you an advantage in close encounters.

It wasn't just the objects that could be mutated; the enhancements to your powers also enabled you to reshape human molecular structures. At first, the changes were subtle – a quick realignment of a shoulder or cauterisation of a wound. Then, under your father’s command, you were pushed further and soon learned how to break and reform bone density, alter muscle tissue and dull pain receptors in others to force compliance or enhance physical performance.

You couldn’t count how many people you'd fixed before breaking them in the most vicious ways, some of them not surviving at your powers. You wore their pleading eyes and cries of help as a second skin, and the helplessness in their eyes was the purpose that made you escape from a reality that had become suffocating, that brought you only regret and endless nightmares.

And you swore to keep this part of your life buried forever.

After looking around, your gaze finally fell upon two figures stumbling around on the ground, recognizing them as the mother and child you had seen with the group earlier. Behind them, the black blanket advanced threateningly. It would only take a few minutes before they, too, would become black silhouettes on the ground.

Mustering all your remaining strength you moved hurriedly, your adrenaline winning over your aching legs. Clearing the path of debris, you were quick to reach the two people, swiftly reaching for their arms and helping them up, before turning and running in the opposite direction of the fog.

“Keep going and don’t look back!” you called out, your voice slightly hoarse from the fatigue, “I’m here. You’re safe with me.”

The woman blinked rapidly and placed her child safely at her side, a flicker of gratitude crossed her frightened gaze. This stirred something new inside you, filling your chest with a sense of contentment. You were used to people looking at you with fear and submission, as if you were a monster walking among them. But this woman thanked you silently with her eyes? It made you believe that you were finally doing something right in your life.

You took a deep breath before resuming your run. Controlling two bodies while sprinting through wreckage was no easy feat, but you didn’t let that deter you. Your resolve was hard to falter.

As you scanned the horizon, only one safe place emerged in your mind: the porch where the Thunderbolts were watching you - silent and still while holding their breath - the only place in the whole city untouched by the spreading darkness, the only place that could shelter two civilians before coming up with a plan to stop that madness.

You were both halfway through the run when you felt your lungs burning inside, the muscles in your body desperately pleading mercy - you felt the need to stop and give yourself some time. But you couldn’t, no. You won’t stop.

This wasn’t about your endurance anymore. This was about safety.

And so you kept pushing harder with your legs, sprinting firmly but under control to prevent the people holding hands with you from falling during the path. Step by step, you could see the arch approaching on the horizon, and a sense of relief washed over you: you were almost there. One more little effort and your mission would be accomplished.

You could do this. You had to do this.

And then you felt it.

Thud.

A piercing, howling sound reached your ears, sending shivers down your spine. For a moment a part of you feels lighter, as if you were running faster. But it was when you turned back and checked the mother and child’s health that reality stuck at you as a loud smack in your face.

They were gone, turned into powdery silhouettes, stuck in the ground and sent who knows where.

The realisation hit you, fear crept into every bone in your body and, for a moment, you forgot how to breathe properly. Your body was completely spent after being pushed to its limit, and you felt your legs giving in, collapsing under your weight.

The air felt heavy, your surroundings blurring into emptiness as every sound faded until complete silence was reached. But only one noise crept into your mind: an annoying little voice repeating a phrase that had been your mantra all your life.

You failed.

The thought was sharp and cruel, gripping your heart like a vice and making you feel sick. 'You failed' repeated over and over again like a broken record, a merciless reminder that no matter how hard you tried to be a hero and do things right, you failed.

How could you protect the people of this city if you just kept getting them into trouble?

The dark fog continued to advance undisturbed, engulfing and reclaiming the mother and her son's shadows. The group's attempts to bring you back were in vain: shouting and inviting you to join them on the porch, you couldn’t hear them, too focused on the darkness reaching you. Soon, you would become part of that nothingness — a nothingness you thought belonged to you.

It was there that you raised your head, and you finally saw him clearly.

The Void.

The dark figure floated motionless in the air, looking at you with white spotlights that seemed to peer into your soul. You didn’t see his lips curl into a mocking smile, nor did you feel the judgement leaving his mouth – if you could have seen it – instead, he just looked at you as if waiting for your next move.

He tilted his head slightly before finally speaking up. His voice was deep, and its measured pace reflected the weight of her words, which hung in the air like an approaching storm.

“Is that why you're so sad? We're all alone. Hopeless. Without redemption.”

And you never felt so understood in your life.

You were used and abused countless times, your mind bent by the will of people who wanted to use your powers for ulterior motives, and you were too young and scared to break free.

By the time you realised what they had turned you into, it was too late. You looked in the mirror and didn’t recognise yourself: not your face, not your eyes, and certainly not your hands. Hands that you had washed almost maniacally every day, watching the water turn red in your eyes when it was actually crystal clear. You couldn’t find comfort in the silence; only the cries of men and women begging you to stop torturing them and leave them alone filled your ears. It was all too much for you to bear. How many of them had families who would never see them again? The same happy family that was ripped away from you when you were just a child, a victim of your father’s ambitions?

You thought Bucky could be your beacon in the storm. Hell, that man’s life was a horror story, and he could empathise with your sins and past mistakes. But you were too afraid to tell him about your past, afraid that he would turn you away after learning that you had committed crimes possibly worse than his own. Now your paths were divided by an invisible wall, and you had never felt so alone.

Nothingness is all you have left.

Acting on impulse, you stood up and marched silently towards the dark fog. There was no wavering in your actions, no second thoughts.

The Void was calling you, and you were eager to answer its call.

You heard someone - a very familiar voice - shout at you to turn around. But this didn’t stop your silent march; your body moved towards the dark needles approaching you as if on autopilot.

All you had to do was take a step, and all your pain and remorse would disappear with you.

While hearing a muffled, raw, broken scream, your foot stepped onto the black ground.

And your body moulded into the darkness.

Bucky felt as if his world had collapsed in on itself. Destroyed, disintegrated in the same way his own body had turned to dust years ago when Thanos claimed half of the population's lives by snapping his fingers.

This time, however, the Avengers would not be there to save the day. No one would build a time machine and retrieve six powerful stones, nor would anyone snap their fingers and bring back all the people swallowed by the void.

You were gone, just like Yelena. Just like everyone else.

His mind short-circuited, the guilt of not being able to save New York’s people mingled with the regret of not being able to stop you and your selfless actions. Countless images and what-ifs crossed his thoughts — what if he had followed you and pulled you away sooner? What if he had been more insistent and said no? What if he had been strong enough to counter your stubbornness, to hold you in his arms and never let you go again?

But there were no answers in the echoes of what-ifs. Only silence.

Unlike his former self, Bucky was never one for many words. His time in the clutches of Hydra was enough to break his spirit, strip him of his confidence, and rob him of his cheerfulness. All that remained were the emotional scars that would never fade. He became a shell of his former self: a grumpy, introverted 110-year-old man who believed that pain was an inevitable part of life and was more inclined to expect negative things than positive ones.

Since being released, he had spent most of his days trying to make amends and find a way to redeem himself. He would sit in the eerie quietness of his apartment, muttering about a past that still haunted him, and about the ghosts of all the people he had murdered and who came to visit him in his sleep. Then he would wake up with short, frantic gasps, his gaze fixed on an empty spot, while the sound of the television in the background tried — in vain — to calm his racing heart.

Bucky slipped into a daily routine that he struggled to adjust to: mandatory therapy sessions in the morning, undertaken more out of a sense of duty than for relief; solo missions throughout the day to erase the names of people on his list who wanted closure. Loneliness in the evening and nightmares at night. Each day was the same as the previous one, and the day after that would be the same again.

But you? You were the one who shattered his monotonous routine.

You slipped quietly into Bucky's life and became the spark that ignited it. Despite the aura of mystery that wrapped you like a veil, you gave him a sense of purpose, helping him to break free from his endless cycle of pain and self-loathing. With you, he rediscovered the meaning of love and being loved. His fear of being touched melted away beneath the warmth and delicacy of your touch. His body trembled and demanded more, his flesh burned under your fingerprints. Whenever he felt insecure, you would remind him that every part of him was perfect, kissing and adoring the scars on the joint of his metal shoulder — the part of him he disliked the most, but which you were immediately drawn to.

But your love was not enough to appease his desire to help others and redeem his past, and when the world of politics opened up, something between you cracked. Soft whispers of love turned into heated arguments and nights curled up in bed together became a distant memory. You grew further and further apart until you disappeared without trace.

In the silence of his feigned apathy, Bucky’s heart was breaking; your distance was far worse than the torture inflicted by Zola and his men. Relief filled his chest when you agreed to help him, albeit reluctantly, and part of him promised that, once Valentina was out of the picture, he would take you in his arms and kiss every inch of your face, murmuring endless apologies against your skin. His arms would wrap around your waist as he promised that he would never push you away again, in the hope that you would both have the restart you deserve.

But now The Void had taken you, trapping you in his dark fog, and with you, every possibility of reconciliation had disappeared.

Bucky could feel his legs trembling beneath him. If it were not for Alexei’s strong arms supporting him, he would have fallen to the ground. The group stood in silence, watching as Bucky’s face contorted with desperation and misery. His blue eyes were glassy and devoid of light, and his mouth moved involuntarily, whispering apologies that could not be heard. It was a sign that he had given up, that all your efforts to stop Bob were in vain, and that giving him the whole city was the only solution to this never-ending puzzle.

Just when he felt he had hit rock bottom, a glimmer of hope took him by surprise. His head turned slightly towards the darkness, and he was struck by a sudden epiphany.

His mind darted back to the conversation he had had with the Thunderbolts just minutes earlier, before your stubbornness had won out over your rational thinking and led you to your suicide plan. He remembered how Walker had approached him and Ava, admitting that she was right and that there was indeed something lurking in the darkness. The former Captain America recalled the dread he had felt after touching Bob, reliving for a bit the period in his life when everything had fallen apart, when he had failed both as a father and a husband.

A part of him was partially relieved that this could not be the end, that somehow you and Yelena could be saved. It was the reviving of the past that frightened him, more yours than his. Bucky had always been unaware of your history, having confessed at your behest your despondency at reliving certain stages of your life. He feared what you might be forced to witness and how you would change after returning to him. How broken you would be.

With a newfound strength Bucky stood up, his gaze resting on the dark fog, which had almost engulfed most of the city.

“She must be trapped somewhere there,” Bucky muttered with his jaw clenched, drawing the group's attention. “I have to get her out of there.”

Ava was the first to respond, almost nodding in agreement with his idea. “Thank you,” she said. “Someone who supports my plan!”

“So, what’s the plan? We go in, find Yelena and our mutant friend, and then what?” Walker mused, his hands placed on his lips. He watched Bucky moving his first steps, almost leaving the porch and facing the fog alone.

“Stay there. I’m going to drag her out of this and we’ll be back,” he growled, his eyes flaring with anger and determination: your safety was his priority.

“What!?” echoed Ava and Walker together, their faces contorted in dismay at the former Winter Soldier’s sudden declaration.

“Hey, hey, slow down a bit” Alexei interrupted, wrapping his strong hand around Bucky’s vibranium shoulder and forcing the ex-assassin to turn and look at him. “I know you’re the mighty Winter Soldier, and you’re cool enough to be unstoppable and kick everyone’s ass along the way. But you can’t face this alone. We must stick together as the Thunderbolts!”

Bucky looked down and his jaw tightened as he absorbed the Red Guardian’s words. Although temporarily blinded by his protective instincts towards you, he had to admit that Alexei was right. He could not face the threat alone if the enemy had expanded their powers on a large scale.

He closed his eyelids, inhaling deeply before resting his gaze on the remaining team, looking at them with a solemn expression.

“We'll go there together, then. Try to find Yelena once you’re inside. I’m going to find my girlfriend, and then we’ll manage to meet up together. Is all that clear?” he said solemnly, the word “girlfriend” still spilling easily from his mouth despite your relationship having ended years ago.

At first, silence was their answer. The group quickly exchanged glances, as if looking for implicit confirmation from each other. Then, after moments that seemed like an eternity, the three looked at Bucky, approving his plan as a new sense of hope lifted the group’s spirit.

Walker turned his gaze towards the dark hole and took the first steps towards it. “Try not to get stuck there, Bucky,” he said dryly, the super soldier’s faint smirk was his only answer.

“Let’s go, Thunderbolts!” Alexei roared in support, his spirits lifted again by the slightly increased possibility of seeing Yelena alive.

All four of them entered the ghostly city, the fresh air of New York caressing their skin for the last time before darkness consumed them. Ava was the first to step inside, her body being claimed as soon as her feet touched the black ground. Walker and Alexei followed, marching with no hesitation as their bodies turned into shadows and were claimed by the darkness.

When it was Bucky’s turn, he hesitated at first. He stood still and watched the dark needles advance quickly, covering the shadows of his friends and then going to claim him.

He lifted his gaze slightly, looking into the heart of the darkness. Countless images of his past flashed before his eyes and his spirit was weakened by the thought of reliving a past that he had spent his whole life trying to redeem, wearing its scars like a second skin.

But he remembered the purpose of his actions, and a new wave of determination pushed him into action. He would rewatch his torture and brainwashing, he would fight his former self as the Winter Soldier, he would never let the souls of the people he had tortured and brainwashed leave him, haunting him with their desperate cries and laughing at him every time he woke up trembling on the floor after another nightmare.

If walking back from that darkness meant pulling you out from there, then no trauma would be able to stop him from reaching his purpose.

Bucky took a deep breath before continuing his advance, his feet almost touching the black floor as he entered the tunnel.

And after taking the last step, his world went black.

If you've come this far, thank you so much for reading my fic! Hope you enjoyed it! Please, leave a comment if you want to be added in the taglist or be removed.7

Bucky Barnes Taglist: @volklana @sylasthegrim @watermeezer

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x y/n #james barnes x reader #james barnes x you #james barnes x y/n #bucky fanfiction #bucky fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fic #bucky angst #bucky barnes angst #thunderbolts*#thunderbolts bucky #marvel fanfiction #marvel fic

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panthrology · 1 year ago

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ok first off love the geto fic!!!!! but i was thinking geto checking readers attitude. shes been on one all day and he just is finally over it. (maybe pussy slapping if comfortable with)

hii ‼️ thank you so much, appreciate the love from everyone 🙈☺️ MWAH

context

cw : pussy slapping & brat taming. that's it tbh.

but yeah anon I hear ya. though since suguru's generally on the more chill side, I don't feel like he'd brat tame you in a way that's more hands on..at first.

in fact I think his way of brat taming you is simply doing nothing in your favor until you cave.

I doubt he'd mind at first, simply taking the unnecessary arguments, eyerolls, and snide comments all day. maybe even return your energy back a little.

but as time goes on his patience would thin, and your bad attitude would gradually start to piss him off. love takes patience, he knows that much; but when you bug him about this, or that in an argumentative manner with no valid reason, he finds you difficult to put up with.

especially after that little stunt you pulled last night.

“hey.” suguru interrupts your meaningless rant about him buying almond milk instead of regular milk and blah blah blah. if you really gave a fuck, you would've joined him on the grocery shopping.

“is this what we're doin’ right now?”

the ambiguity of his question makes you falter, meeting his gaze which..seems to be unusually intense.

“what?” your face scrunches up in confusion, “what are you even talkin’ about?”

oh, okay. he tongues the inside of his cheek slightly, it's milk for christ's sake.

“don't be like that. you know damn well that you need to fix that attitude and calm down.”

you scoff, not believing that your attitude is the most irksome.

“yeah, ‘cause my attitude is the biggest problem right now. don't piss me off suguru—you can't avoid and evade with your nonchalance out of this one.”

oh.

okay.

“it's like I gotta discipline you like a little girl, d'you even think about that?”

suguru asks, voice breathless as he watches you from above. arm slung over the back of the couch and you—kneeling between his spread knees and gagging with his cock stretching your mouth. “but I bet you didn't even do that. can't think with dick down your throat, can you?”

he sees the dip in your brow and grins, taking pleasure in the current power imbalance between you both. he could get used to this.

but as you raise your head to argue again, he simply keeps a firm hand atop your head, forcing you to take him down deeper. “..it'd be in your best interest not to argue with me, sweetheart.”

fine, you sharply inhale through your nostrils. if you ignore the sodden panties sticking to your skin—pussy calling for his name in morse code, you think you can soften him up a bit.

you suck him, slowly but surely while your hands stroke where your lips can't reach, your challenging gaze meeting suguru's own.

he keeps his hand firm on your head, lips parted and head tilted back against the sofa, making sure he keeps your mouth fully occupied. his toes curl inwards under his socks when you begin to bob your head, pleasure liquifying his legs.

you make a gargled noise when his bulbous tip nudges the back of your throat, reaching another hand further down—right down to give his balls a gentle squeeze.

“fuuckk—mhmm..you know what I like,” he moans in appreciation before closing his fist around your hair in a makeshift ponytail and yanks you off of him. “alright, enough. get up here.”

that didn't take very long, you think.

wiping your mouth from the spit and his pre, you rise with wobbly knees and plop next to him on the couch. he spreads your thighs in no time at all, kneeling between them. you sigh, sinking into the couch while your lids slip shut. waiting for his touch.

but nothing comes.

when you reopen your eyes, a smug suguru stares back at you and even lets a little chuckle slip. “funny how you just assumed that i’d give you what you want after your poor attitude.” suguru's eyes twinkle with amusement, tracing light touches against the gentle curve of your abdomen. gentle, soft, nowhere near enough.

“god, suguru, please! i said i was sorry.” frustration creeps into your tone, and you toss your head back onto the armrest.

“did you?” that simple question and the look he gives you makes you question yourself, the realisation that you in fact did not hit you like a truck.

shamefully, you avert your gaze. “..sorry.”

yet all you get is a head shake from suguru, lips pursed in a thin line, trace, trace, trace.

“the nerve. all that rudeness ‘n for what? i’m nothing but good to you..”

he trails off, observing the way your skin rises when his feather-like touch grazes your belly button, dipping his fingers lower to tug your underwear all the way down, flicking it off your ankle. “i still don't know where you get the audacity.” he smirks.

your pulse quickens, watching the way his knuckles brush against your inner thigh, going up, up.

you feel it before you hear it—a swift ‘smack!’ against your bare cunt has you whimpering and seizing up. the pain knocks you off your guard, before it bleeds into pleasure, the new feeling making you completely disoriented.

once suguru sees your shocked, wide-eyed gaze, his ego swells and he folds his arms, staring you down as if he were daring you to say anything—to backtalk him again.

beats of silence pass and the weight of what suguru just did barely has time to sink in before he does it again. it's wetter this time and has more momentum. the collision you makes your hips jolt violently, and your legs hike up to your chest as you flinch and cry out his name. hot tears slip from their confines and roll down your cheeks.

suguru, however, is having a time. he brings his hand up to the dim lighting of the room, watching your glistening slick coat his fingertips and palm before he speaks, his tone almost scrutinising.

“of course, you'd get wet from me rightfully putting you in your place. nasty girl,” he purrs before popping two fingers into his mouth, the familiar taste of you flooding his senses.

“sugu—” you choke on a little sob, wiping your tears with the back of your hand. you can still feel the sting right on your clit.

“i'm sorry, i'm so so sorry. won't happen again.”

“yeah, it will. you're not foolin’ anybody here.” suguru rolls his eyes, swiping his forefinger against your swollen nub and your legs jitter at the contact. “y'know this is what happens to brats who can't check themselves, right?” he asks rhetorically.

he meets your gaze. “and I like to think that I have a good girl, who can behave in a way that doesn't have to make me do things like this.”

you nod weakly.

“thats what I know.” he nods once and pulls away. “i'll think about accepting your apology, but that depends on how well you can make me cum.” you hate to hear it. it takes everything in you not to groan or roll your eyes..but your heart jumps at the chance of redemption.

“c'mon then, on your knees pretty.”

#geto smut #jjk smut #jujitsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader #gojo smut #★ — niyah responds !#★—spicy ☄️#★—neptnszn #BRAAAAAAP HERE WE GO AGAIN 🗣#the suguru rot is real

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onlyinyourdreams404 · 1 year ago

Text

Tragedies. . . 🩹 König x M!Reader

word count: 1.4k

CW: talk of death, alcohol mentioned, reader is 20, then 21. (i don’t do angst much, but this is more of a “this happened to me” thing, so im more of ranting, so please let me know how i did with this🙏🏻 LOVE YOU GUYS! tysm for all the love on my last post!)

summary: reader lost his mother at the young age of 17. grief is hard to overcome, but when you have someone to be there for you when you need it, i guess it isn’t so bad.

|grief| |grēf|

Noun

-deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone’s death.

some days seemed easier than others. well when you lose a mother at 17, the years seem to go so fast but days, seem endless. for (y/n), nothing seems meaningful. after losing his mother just 21 days after he turned 17, he hasn’t had a meaning to life. he barely scrapped by in school until he graduated. he grew up telling his mom that he was worried she was not gonna be there for his graduation. she used to reassure him that she would, she wouldn’t miss it for the world. so when she passed, he found every reason to graduate just for her. after graduating, he didn’t know what to do with his life, joining the military was the only option left, it has kept him sane and busy.

könig had not really talked to him other than the interview for the position in kortac, they need another man since the last one had been KIA. könig read (y/n)’s file, seeing the man’s grades questioning if this was a good idea, until he actually met the guy, who turned out to be a very good fit for kortac, very stoic, and kept to himself, but seemed nice. (y/n) ended up getting into kortac, since they needed a sniper. (y/n) had been excited to be the new sniper, since he could sit still, and his stats showed he was capable.

after weeks of training, he was ready for the next mission. he was assigned this position with könig. all (y/n) had to do was kill anybody könig didn’t see while he was searching the building for information. while being helicoptered to their destination, (y/n) had picked up the habit of listening to “lose yourself” by eminem before anything he had to do to hype himself up, to get in the mindset, just like his mom did. könig watches (y/n) with a close eye as he bobbed his head ever so slightly listening to the song. könig found it strange, but i guess everyone has their quirks.

they get to their destination and (y/n) sets up his spot while könig goes down to the building there the information is. (y/n) radios in first on the comms; “can ya hear me sir?” he says looking through his scope, finding könig easily, then switching to different windows to watch the enemies. “ja loud and clear Soldat” he says quietly into his comms his accent apparent over the comms. (y/n) nods, “good thing sir.” (y/n) adjusts himself slightly to get comfortable, listening to the silence was a little awkward. (y/n) watches as one enemy goes down as könig takes him down easily with a knife to the guys throat. “the room to your right sir, two enemies.” (y/n) says into the comms. könig sneaks into the room and takes down one solider as (y/n) shoots the other dead center. “good shot soldat” könig says into the comms. “thank you sir.” (y/n) says back. “i know this isn’t time for small talk, but tell me more about you sir” (y/n) says, trying to cure the awkwardness. “i’ll tell you more about me later soldat, pay attention” könig responds. ‘well, there goes small talk’ (y/n) thinks to himself.

they finish up the mission, a successful mission. (y/n) meets up with könig while waiting for their helicopter. “good job sir.” he says looking up at könig. könig looks down at reader, and nods, “good job out their soldat, i’m glad to have you on my team, ja?” könig says, smiling somewhat under his mask. (y/n) looks away, fidgeting with his hands slightly while waiting for the helicopter.

“what happened to you soldat? if you don’t mind me asking. what’s with ‘lose yourself’?” könig asked, not looking away from (y/n). (y/n)’s shoulders tense slightly from the question. to avoid konig’s gaze, (y/n) doesn’t stop looking at the ground, thinking about how he should answer this question, he isn’t ready to tell könig just yet. “oh uhm, nothing really. my mom would play that song for me on the way to football games i played when i was young. she would do the same when she was in softball. more of a traditional thing between me and her i guess” he answered half honestly and half lying. könig keeps looking at (y/n) and nods, looking up to the helicopter that is approaching, “oh ok. it’s good to have a good bond with your mother. that’s a cool tradition.” he says, knowing something about that answer isn’t right, he can tell, but he won’t pressure the male. (y/n) blinks back any tears, picking at his gloves, out of anxiety. time to go back to base.

after a year of being at kortac, (y/n) starts to open up more. well, a little too much due to the alcohol, now that it’s his birthday, he wanted to spend that, at the bar. (y/n) and könig had become close friends, sharing small things from childhood. now that (y/n) was under the influence of alcohol, he didn’t care sharing what happened to his mom. “könig, remember when you wanted to know more about me?” (y/n) slurs, looking up at könig with a pink flushed face. könig, having only a drink, knowing he had to the two back to base, he looks down at the male. “ja i do. are you ok with sharing?” he asked, austrian accent apparent. (y/n) nods, looking at his glass of jack daniels, thinking for a minute. “yea ‘s fine” he slurs, trying to think of how to word it. “i’ll just get straight to it, my mom died when i was 17. 21 days after, to be exact. i was devastated. i was just starting junior year of highschool,” (y/n) stops, blinking back tears. “i always had a fear when i was little, that my own mother wouldn’t be alive during my graduation, since she was 30 years older then me, that would make her 49 when i graduated. she always told me, ‘i’ll be there, i wouldn’t miss it for the world’. you can guess how i reacted when i found out she had died, a year before i graduated. my worst fear and nightmare had come true.”

(y/n) slurs slightly, taking a drink out of his glass. he looks down at it, only to push it away and put his head down into his arms. “why did she have to leave me könig? i don’t get it. please take the drink away. i don’t want to drink when im sad.” he says desperately. he knows what will happen if he gets into the habit of drinking while sad. könig calls the bartender over to take (y/n) glass, “i don’t know kind, it wasn’t fair for you, you were only a kid” he says softly, lifting (y/n)’s head slightly to look at him. “it will be ok, you’ve got us now. your mutter would be proud.” he says smiling under his mask, his eyes crinkling slightly as he does so. (y/n) looks up at him, and smiles, and leans against könig, face a light shade of pink, “thanks könig..” (y/n) slurs, “i’m sorry” he says quietly. könig looks down at the male, head tilting slightly, “what for kind? you have nothing to apologize for” he says to the male. (y/n) wipes his eyes gently to wipe away any stray tears, “for just, dumping all of that onto you, you shouldn’t have to deal with my trauma, i’m sorry” (y/n) says, voice wavering slightly. könig puts his arm around (y/n) shoulders and brings him closer, putting the male’s head to his chest, “i’m glad you told me schatz, i’m glad to get to know you better, i’m not mad. it’s good to get things off your chest, thank you for trusting me with that information, i’ll always be here if you need a shoulder to cry on schatz, always.” he says, his thumb running circles in the males back, soothing him. (y/n) hums and puts his arms around könig, just enjoying the embrace.

maybe grief isn’t so bad when you have someone there to cry on when you need it.

#konig x male reader #konig x reader #konig x y/n #konig cod #angst with slight fluff ending #fanfic #cod x male reader #konig call of duty #könig angst

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eatinghammers · 2 months ago

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Snirius fic thingy

1506 words.

Story summary: Teasing Severus goes way too far. They tell jokes about his father, his looks, his house, his style, literally everything. Usually, he could handle it, but now he can't. He runs off from their laughter and collapses into the floor, clutching his chest and sobbing. His sobs turn into a panic attack, and Sirius finds him. Originally, he pokes fun at him, but soon he realizes just how badly it affected him, and he helps him through it.

Ships: Snirius (snack)

Additional information: Set in the marauders era, somewhere after 4th year

Percents??: hurt 60% comfort 30% romance 10% maturity PG-13, it's nothing too bad.

Cw: Swearing, insults, teasing, minor violence, panic attacks.

Tw: Bullying

He couldn't escape their words, their cruel actions. Remus laughed as James picked him apart, piece by piece. He laughed at his hair, the texture and color of it. He scoffed at his body in general, bony and lanky, his features jagged and rough, abrupt and pale. His eyes, dark as coal. He teased him about his father, drunken and stinky whenever he showed up near his family, which made him want to cry even harder. He ranted about his voice, how it was deep but still nasily. He judged him for taking an interest in the dark arts, for liking potions, and for not even showing up to quidditch matches. Sirius laughed and joked about him in general, performing mocking acts in front of his friends. Eventually, when Peter mentioned his interests again, he couldn't handle it. They laughed as he rang off.

He didn't know where he was running, but he trusted his legs to get him somewhere safe. Tears blurred his vision, their teasing voices filling his head. Eventually, his breathing speeds up. The quick breaths got to him, causing him to lean against a wall. His black robes caught on the designs engrained in the oak walls slightly, but the friction quickly dissipated as he slid down the wall. His knees were brought up to his chest, arms hugged around them. His books and bag were scattered beside him, papers flown about carelessly. Suddenly, he heard a voice, raspy and dramatic, a teasing tone to it.

"Jeez, drama queen." The words, however a considerably less harsh intent and tone as the previous ones, still hurt.

"Really living up to the name Snivellous, eh?" He outstretched his hand, shooing him away.

"Go.. Go 'way," he rasped out, trying to conjure up a barky tone, but he couldn't manage to.

"Oh- oh, so you're like- like actually freaking out?" His voice dropped the mocking tone, the harsh intent, just minor shock and concern. Severus' hand gripped his chest, still trying to create a snapping time through his unease and gasps.

"I-.. I said- said go away!" There was a bit of an involuntary pleading tone to his words, one that tugged at the empathy in the others heart.

"No. I'm not leaving you to pick up my mess right now, just deal with it." He kneeled down, trying to get the distressed man to look at him or something. He grabbed the man's hands, which were pulling at his hair.

"I said-.. said go away!" His voice contained a bit of a snarl, but it wasn't strong. His head was bobbing slightly and black dots clouded his vision. His hand was placed on the calm ones chest.

"Just follow my breathing." Severus' fingers curled around the fabric, maybe a feat of desperation, trying to keep the touch close, or perhaps an act of dominance, trying to prove to himself that he was still totally in control, but he wasn't. He was completely at the mercy of his own panic, and that thought terrified him more than any teasing, pranks, or bullies could.

However, it was probably the fact that he hasn't had a proper hug since he was eight, and having been so long, he yearned for any physical touch he could get, even if it came in hits or shoves, which could also be why he was quite literally clinging onto him,. although he would never admit his to his thirst for human contact.

"Seriously, you're going to pass out. Just breathe." He managed to suck in a ragged, short breath, but it wasn't as speedy or shallow as the others that came before it. He bit back a sob, but some of it escaped, coming out in the form of a pathetic cry.

"Seriously, go- go away."

"No, not happening. Like I said, deal with it." His eyes narrowed ever so slightly, presenting his anger in whatever exhausted format his body could. Although, he couldn't lie, the hand lightly gripping his wrist, his hand pressed against his chest, warmth piercing through the layered robes and dress shirt, was quite relaxing.

"Just look around and tell me something green." He looked around, his obsidian eyes tracing the corridor, searching for anything with a hint of emerald.

"My.. tie." Sirius nodded.

"Something red." His eyes shifted down.

"Your tie." He couldn't lie, his breathing had gotten a bit better. Sirius placed a hand on the other boy's shoulder, which made him practically melt. His shoulders instantly dropped from their perched position. He let out an uncontrollable hum of contentment.

"Something brown, Sniv." The nickname snapped him out of his dazed and possibly content state, rewinding all progress done. He snapped his shoulder away, tugging his hand out of the other's grip.

"Go- go away!" He slammed his hands over his ears, similar to a child having a tantrum, but he couldn't care. He just needed him to leave him alone, the harsh truth shining through the curtain. When the hand reached out again, he jerked back.

"Go away!" His panic mixed with fear, and it wasn't a good concoction. Angry, rage-filled huffs mixed with panicked breathing, hot tears of anger and panicked sobs escaping him. He shook, whether that was the cold air of the late fall rushing in through the open windows, or the anger surging through him, sending rushes of adrenaline to spike through his veins, or the panic and sadness of the hurtful words. Sirius reached out again, grabbing his wrist.

"I said- said leave me-.. me alone!" His breathing was evidently getting worse, proven by the pauses and steamers in his sentences. However much it hurt to turn away comfort, he knew it would only hurt more once the kindness was proven fake.

"No, I'm not going! You're going to deal with this!"

"I know- know you're just doing this to-.. to talk about me with your-.. your stupid friends! You're just going to- to laugh! Leave me-.. me alone!"

Sirius was done verbally fighting with the man, arguing about a point that wouldn't change from either side. He grabbed the other's wrist and pulled him into a hug, which caused the other to freeze, stunned by the sudden act of kindness.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called you that, especially when you're like this, that was... excessive. Just let me help you." He couldn't fight with himself anymore, giving into the touch. His body relaxed. As if on cue, he heard the thumps of footsteps, a duo, laughing. He recognized those voices far too well. He instinctively peered over his shoulder, anxiously trying to find them, where they were so he could know which way to run, but of course, they had chosen hallway left and backwards from him. He tensed up as he heard them laugh, shouting his nickname from afar.

"Hey, Padfoot, hugging Snivellous? That's gotta be a new low," James bellowed.

"Aw, we go too far?" Peter called out in a baby voice, obviously mocking Severus. Sirius however, was not laughing. He had just helped him calm down to a reasonable degree, and now he was getting wound up again.

"Fuck off," he barked. James laughed a bit.

"What did you say?"

"I said fuck off, James. Just leave him alone for one damn minute! He's having a hard time." With a scowl present on his face, he tightened his grip on Severus and glared at James, who scoffed and toddled off, probably to go tell Remus and laugh about Severus, but that didn't matter.

"Just keep breathing, you're doing great." He kept it steady before it got ragged again.

"No, don't start up again, everything's alright." While his tone was harsh, the arms wrapped around him weren't. Severus was promptly exhausted, a headache already making its way into his head.

"Are you okay, now?" Severus nodded, quickly pulling away from the embrace and backing away.

"I'm-.. I'm sorry for how I acted earlier." Severus nodded.

"I'll- I'll tell the guys to lay off. See you around, I guess, Severus." And with that, the curly haired man left, but not without a glance over the shoulder to see Severus picking up his books, wiping his face dry off all the tears he cried.

---

Idk how to end fics, so deal with this ig, chat.

#ao3 #fanfic #fanfiction.net #wattpad #fanfiction #snirius #severus snape #snack #sirus x snape #sirus black #idk how to tag this #is this a fic?#im pretty sure it is #might die tomorrow so thought I'd get this out?#hurt/comfort

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hoppingonjim · 1 year ago

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I just love how much you love Jackson Healy too! I had a fun little idea if you wanted to explore it for him. On an unexpectedly rainy day in LA, Jackson pulls over to give the reader a ride so she decides to thank him by riding him too 🤭

RIDING DIRTY- healy !

note: he's my fav, ever. i'm so uggggh in love w him. #jacksonarmy . i'm more in love w this idea though omg but so sorry for the wait on this! if it sucks, lmk and i'll rewrite ofc

cw warnings: riding, afab!reader, sex as payment, car sex, dad bods, pet names, unprotected sex (dont be silly, cover your willie), fat cocks, jackson healy and his stupid little rants, p in v, nipple suckling, brief spanking cause jackson loves ass, mentions of aftercare, horny fucks.

the forecast forgot to mention the abundance of moody clouds that doomed the sky. their tears hammering down on your head. you didn't prepare for this, you were overjoyed in the morning with the proposal of a jog. you didn't need your car to get to work, you didn't need your car to get back from work. the day was supposed to bloom with hues of blue and green, bubbling from every surface.

except the meteorologists must've not predicted anything right. read all of the signs wrong. here you were, sidewalk, thumb up, begging in the persistent rain for a stranger's commitment to kindness.

a 66 healy pulls up. the cream color molding in with the rain. you vigorously raise your thumb, bobbing it upwards repeatedly. just to catch his attention. it's a miracle when he pulls over, opening the door for you.

"thank you, thank you-" you're stammering over your own grattiude as you hop into shotgun. then you get a full view of the man. he's tall, you can tell that by his posture- he's bigger, scruffy, looks almost like the danger that follows you home on an empty street, but those eyes are soft. the smile is gentle and almost like grandma's homemade treats. though despite the bigger figure of the man, there's strength in his grip. his knuckles clutching tightly onto the wheel, his triceps peeping through only slightly through the tropical shirt he wore.

a deep laugh bellows from the man once he resumes driving, "no problem, where you headed?" like his laugh, his voice is even low. deep. like his facial hair, his voice is scruffy.

you smile, "home. two rights, then a left.. i didn't expect it to be raining today."

"don't think anyone did honestly, damn meteorologists. y'know- i always wanted that job. can be wrong every damn day and still make a good living. i'm just not good with.. science and that- crap."

his own vernacular slips from his curved lips in a homely fashion and it's clear to you that it embarrasses him. there's a flush on his cheeks, he wants to seem more proper to you. as if you should feel completely fine about being in the car, on a rainy night, with a stranger. a man, for that matter.

though his eyes widened slightly when you laugh, the flushed color on his cheeks wisping away, "my dad used to always say that!"

"dad's a smart fella then." he nods, his wipers squeaking just slightly. clearly the beaut of a ride isn't so creamy wheeling as the colors leads you to believe, "names jackson, jackson healy- and yours?"

you smile as you tell him your name before perking an eyebrow upwards, "healy? is.. that a reason why you bought this car then? an austin-healy?"

a small shrug complements another chuckle, "i guess so, yeah. jimmy-rigged it a bit though, had to for days like today. but i mainly bought it because of the look. it's classic- don't find many classics today, and this new generation wants to keep up with the minimalist colors. i wish people could still appreciate the beauty in color." with passion he drives more cautiously, eyes flickering over towards you. taking in the sight he didn't observe before.

though his rants translates into something more poetic for you. you've known the man, jackson, for nearly five minutes- or was it ten? in such a short time he was sharing concerns with you, leveling a conversation. it was magnetic. sure his outward appearance pulled you in, you liked the dad bod type, but now his words kept you there. this stranger had a force you just couldn't seem to halt.

"i like the classics too, a lot prettier. mustangs, my dad had one.. always my favorite. a green one too, i like that color."

"green is a nice color."

the car ride goes slightly silent. he's concentrated on the slippery road, not wanting to danger either one of you. the directions you provided him repeat in his mind. his turns are graceful, he slows down, he checks every which way, you see it through the stare in his eyes that safety is the most important thing to him. it only fuels your attraction.

it wasn't like the sun was out moments before, the rain dulled it away. though now it only seemed to be a memory, the dark sky implanted with foreign light screeching from posts down the street. flickering in their neglect.

"tell me which one it is, then i'll be on my way." the gentle air of his voice never deserts him, it sweeps you closer.

nodding, you wait till he reaches the small, narrow box you call home. his tires slip just a tad when he pulls into your driveway, he expects you'll be rushing out the door- eager to get away from the stranger.

"well, here's your place i guess."

a chuckle rumbles his body, you undo your seatbelt, but your door hasn't even been opened yet, "you really helped me out jackson.." you begin, voice almost sultry as you shift your body in order to face him better.

the words you hum force the flushed red color to return to his cheeks. there's an incantation in your tone, he's sure of it, "well it's not problem-"

you're biting your lip now, in that sex icon type way. a bombshell needing to show thanks, "still, you didn't have to do it.. i can pay you back-"

"no." he cuts you off instantly, his breath stuck in his own windpipe. his throat choked out by the thick atmosphere suddenly gassing his car, "you're sweet honey, but i don't need money, i like helping people out.."

it's your turn to cut him off, not with words, but just with a laugh, "who said i would pay you back in money?"

a gulp flushes out his entire flustered demeanor. it's a different man now, one in the driver seat for this conversation. a smirk plays out on his lips, the click of his seatbelt whisking away, "what thought have you got going on in that pretty mind of yours then, huh? you really gonna pay a stranger back, in sex? you don't know me, you barely know me." a predatorial gaze falls onto you, he sees you squirming in your seat. his words driving you mad. your breathing fills up the void, until he pats his thigh.

crawling over the armrest, you situate yourself into his lap. those big hands flock to your waist, already beginning to guide you into the rhythm of grinding, ensuring you feel the affects of your words.

"you're so hard," and you're already letting the man slide down your pants, fingers teasing the dampness slowly ruining your panties.

"my words get you all wet?"

only a stiff nod is given before his thumb drags over your bottom lips. when lips part, his thumb drags down the bottom one, all delicate. though his eyes find more amusement in watching the way yours so intently focus on each move of his. the way he then orders you to kiss him, through a migration of his thumb- down to your chin.

his lips are refreshing. they don't taste of casual smoke or a bottle of whisky. there's no pungent taste, only the refreshment of wannabe crooners and style. he's hungry, he's pulling you closer and a hand is already tugging down your panties. the taste of your tongue is leaving gold in his senses and he feels he needs more. gripping and groping every last inch of you. raising and lowering you. slipping a hand downwards just to feel what he's really done to you- index finger swiping your slick.

"you're so beautiful."

into your lips he mutters more compliments about your scent, your sweetness, he way you turn him on. your beauty, never calls you sexy however. never calls you hot.

with extreme reluctance you pull away, needing every breath you can get, "i need you, let me pay you back-" "fuck yeah, okay, okay.. okay princess." he's finding something to do in the means of lifting off your shirt, unhooking your bra. it's impressive, how swift he is with it. meanwhile you're undoing his jeans, unbuttoning that beach kissed shirt. you attempt to slip the shirt completely off of him, though he shakes his head. if there is a later- you'll ask him about that.

his cock is hard, needy. his tip engorged and dripping with precum. ready for you to rock him properly for payment, "c'mon princess." his encouraging words leave you sliding on top of him. letting his thick cock fill you out.

a groan flees from him in shock at how you didn't even ease into it. his hands migrate to your hips, nails digging into the supple skin, "good girl, such a good girl." after he bucks his own hips upwards, you begin to rock on him.

you start off slow, this time you're easing into it. moans already falling from your throat- begging. begging for yourself to go just a little faster, grow more accustomed to this heavenly sensation. groans fill the car, bouncing off of your pretty sounds. the ones he can't get enough of.

"you're already so good, you know that? so good, so good already?"

the encouragement prompts you to pick up the pace. careful rocks quickly turning reckless. you're attempting to feel every inch of him, squeezing his cock with pleasure. a hand lands a blow onto your ass, but it doesn't sting. it only accelerates the thrill. those moans raise in a pitch, stumbling over one another. a new sound emerges in the car, tangoing with the sinful audio from your mouth and his- the sound of skin slapping, hard. it's as if this will never happen again. every rock, the eventual bounces, they're all desperate. your nails dig into his broad shoulders, feeling his strength. adoring his strength. you want to speak to him, the words won't barge through.

similarly he tries speaking to you, but the low grunts and groans barricade any praises. the most he can do is continue to squeeze your ass cheek, sprinkling in a spank when he deems it necessary.

the sound of rain is drowned out by the payment of sex. with your back arched, jackson realizes he has a better view of your nipples. just to throw you increasingly off the edge, he leans in, suckling on one. swirling his tongue around the hardened bud, groaning against the sensitive skin. begging to feel you release your serendipity onto him.

"holy shit- holy shit what're you- what're you-" it's becoming too much. your hands leave his shoulders and find solace in gripping on tightly to his slicked hair. the premediated waves crashing from your unwavering grasp. victims to the way you pull whenever your bouncing forces his cock to hit a special, sweet spot of yours.

he's twitching now, you can feel it. it sends you into a flight, working overtime to feel every inch of him. losing yourself on his lap. it's hectic and he finds it amazing, heavy breathing and gasps bombarding his conscious.

"gonna cum- gonna cum, oh fuck.."

you do. it's heaven. the gates are in front of you when you are embraced by the enchanting kiss of an orgasm. cum coating his cock, remnants of the way you worked so hard.

"me too, princess, gonna- gonna give it to you-"

the severity of his own forces him to pull away from your suckled, swollen nipples. a string of saliva breaking down onto your breast. with force he takes brief, very brief control, and slams you down upon him. the biggest motivator for him to shoot his load inside of you was feeling you cum. that was enough for him. and an extreme turn on.

it feels otherworldly when you feel him unload inside of you. a stranger. filling you up with his hot cum. decorating your insides with arousing moments.

while trying to catch your breath, you two stare at each other. eyes looking for disapproval in each other. you don't find any. just satisfaction, and hints of longing.

amidst the gasps and beckons for air. helpless pants. the rain peeps through the windows, shattering every sense of urgency. tapping along the hood.

fingers trace circles on your back, gingerly grazing, "stay here for a moment."

#jackson healy smut #jackson healy #the nice guys smut #the nice guys fic #the nice guys 2016 #the nice guys #nice guys smut #jackson healy x reader #jackson healy fic #russell crowe smut #holland march #holland march smut

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april-showers86 · 3 years ago

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Here's one thing I will never understand: Bob Morley takes a break from The 100 for his mental health and gets hated on because of it. Lindsey Morgan leaves Walker for the same reason and gets unconditional support. The hypocrisy of the CW fanbase 🙄

#rant #bob morley #lindsey morgan #double standards #men's mental health matters too #bob deserved better #Cw cesspool #The 100 #Walker

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notafinalgirl · 5 years ago

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This happened weeks ago but the amount of people that were willing to comment hate or shamming me for posting about being happy for a couple because they got married was ridiculous .. it’s not our job to belittle there happiness when you don’t know the story. I don’t care who said what or anything all I said was how cute and happy they looked and y’all acted like it was the worst thing someone could say. You don’t get to judge them for why they got married , how they got married, or anything because guess what you are not them!!

I know it was only like 4 comments and I being ridiculous but it just really bothered me and I felt like I had to say this!

#sorry for my rant #the 100 #eliza taylor #eliza and bob #bob marely #bellamy blake #clark griffin #bellarke #100 #cw

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kleftiko · 2 years ago

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❦ IF YOU’LL LET ME

cw: mature, early seasons spencer, loss of virginity, soft sex, fem!reader, praise, mentions of alcohol

“hey, spence. it’s late.”

his eyes dart down to your chest, words stuck in his throat but you don’t seem to mind. instead you continue to dab your shirt, holding open the door and turning your back as you head in to allow him to follow you into your hotel room.

the plush duvet folds under your weight as you sit on the bed, spencer stands awkwardly eyeing the table beside the fridge.

“you were drinking?” he asks.

you chuckle a bit and motion to your wet shirt. “i was trying, but the mini bar had other ideas.”

his nimble fingers pick up the small bottle, briefly glancing over the label before bringing it to his nose and grimacing at the smell.

“didn’t know you like whiskey.” he says.

“spencer.” you lean back on your hands, eyes trailing over his lanky frame and combed back hair. “what are you doing here?”

“am i not welcome?”

“you’re always welcome,” you shake your head. “if you let me know why. we’re flying back home in the morning, something bothering you?”

spencer attempts to place the bottle back on the table, but his clumsy fingers knock it over, causing a disruptive sound to ricochet through the room as the glass comes in contact with the wood. he awkwardly tries to catch it, placing it back up right and taking his hands far away from it.

the boy’s gaze moves back towards you, his mouth opening to answer your question when he looks back down at your chest and flushes, turning his head towards the door.

“don’t you want to change your shirt?” he asks.

the dark fabric clings to your skin, highlighting your silhouette and putting your tits on display.

“it’s my room.” you say and stand up. he doesn’t look towards you.

“i can’t imagine wet fabric that reeks of alcohol being preferred to a clean and warm shir—“

“—spence.” you cut him off, standing in front of him. “what’s wrong?”

his focus flickers to your face for a split second.

“nothing is wrong, i just… i was thinking…”

your instinct is to pull a joke at his words, but with his demeanour you could tell this was really bugging him, so you refrain.

“about?” you prompt softly.

“you…” his fingers travel back to the mini whiskey bottle, tinkering with it. “i’ve been thinking of you a lot lately…”

you couldn’t help the small smile that tugs at your lips.

“you have?” it comes out in a soft tone, and spencer nods. “what about me?”

you had an idea as to what has been bugging spencer. with the warm weather finally making a comeback, morgan has been going on his yearly appreciation rants about spring break. women having fun and warm weather we’re two of his favourite things, the sex that usually leads to that was just a bonus.

everyone figured spencer hadn’t had an experience like that, not having gone through the typical childhood, after all. and it didn’t take a room full of profilers to notice the way his eyes stayed on you for a second longer than everyone else.

spencer sighs.

“morgan said i should just go for it.” he mumbles.

you take a step closer to him, looking up through your lashes at his handsome face. “i agree with him.”

you see his adam’s apple bob from a harsh gulp.

“can—can i kiss you?” he whispers.

you nod your head.

and his lips are soft. spencer is so gentle and awkward as he kisses you that it’s you who grabs his hands and guides them to your hips. it seems he has a hard time touching you and kissing you at the same time, alternating between the two every few seconds and setting a choppy pace. you feel him start to get angry with himself at not being able to do both at once.

you pull away. “it’s okay, spencer.”

“i’m sorry, i’m new to this.” he rambles quickly and you giggle, taking his hand and pulling him to sit on the bed.

you take the place next to him and look into his eyes, bringing his hand back to your waist.

“you can do whatever you want.” you give him permission.

his hands start to wander your body. those curious fingers that clumsily knocked over the whiskey now exploring the curves of your body. his focus followed his hands, and you watch his face, smiling at the look of wonder on his face as his touch travelled higher up.

when they reach your face, his hands cup your jaw and he pulls you slowly towards him. you hum softly into his mouth, getting lost in his gentleness.

it’s not longer before you find yourself pressed up against his body, enjoying your own exploration of him until you come down to his pants.

“do you want to continue?” you ask him after feeling his hard on.

spencer gulps a bit, but nods. “please, if you’ll let me.”

you smile at him and move back, finally taking off your wet shirt, his eyes once again zone in on your chest. he reaches out a tentative hand, and when he doesn’t get a slap on the wrist he touches your skin.

it gives him a surge of confidence and he goes back to kiss you. the make out session staying slow but heating up as you two began to undress each other, both looking with wonder at each other’s bare bodies.

you find him mounted on top of you as you lay on the soft duvet, his fingers between your legs as he listens to the noises you make.

“how are you so good at this?” you gasp, eyes screwed shut.

“the clitoris has over 10 000 nerve endings, more than any other part of your—”

you kiss him, not meaning to shut him up but you just couldn’t help it, he was too cute.

he lets out a small whine when you pull away from him, and you can’t help but coo as you grab a packet from the nightstand.

“don’t worry, spence, it’s not over.”

he breaths a sigh of relief, allowing you to roll the condom onto him before you fall onto your back again.

“are you sure about this?” he asks, grabbing the base of his dick to line up with you. you nod.

“please, spencer, if you’ll let me.”

your eyes close in content as he fills you up.

“you feel so good.” you mumble, and he pulls back a bit to thrust softly.

you don’t hold back on noises, wanting spencer to feel confident that he’s doing a good job.

“w-wow.” he gasps.

“i know, baby, i know.” you reach your hand up to card through his hair. “you’re doing so good.”

he picks up the pace again, breaths becoming heavy as he gets the hang of making himself feel good.

you feel him going quick, muttering about being close as you tell him, “you’re making me feel so good, spencer. please cum, i want you to feel good, too.”

he groans your name, voice catching in his throat as he cums into the condom, but he doesn’t stop. you hear his pained noises of over stimulation as he continues his thrusting.

“spencer, what are you doing?” you ask, a bit concerned.

“you didn’t cum. ‘need to make you feel good, too.” he mumbles.

“oh, baby, no.” you go to kiss his lips, drawing his attention away from thrusting as he melts into you. “you made me feel so good already, this night is about you.”

“but—”

“—no buts.” you give him another kiss. “lay down with me now, you need rest.”

you can tell he wants to argue some more, but his body betrays him, falling into your embrace as you hold him.

“you did so good, spencer.” you reassure him, fingers in his hair as you coax him to relax.

“i did?” he asks, tone unbelieving.

you kiss his forehead. “so, so good.”

#criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds #criminal minds smut #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer x reader #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader

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cpidsworld · 4 years ago

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☆ 𝐂𝐀𝐍'𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐌𝐘𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 - 𝐀.𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓 ☆

sub!armin x femdom!reader

wc: 3.3K

cw: alcohol consumption, breeding, cockwarming, choking, overstimulation, cock milking, mommy kink, modern au, MDNI

a/n: okay this is my first time writing femdom reader smut so i hope i did it justice. i also have really checked the grammer of this so im sorry if there are any errors :)

cold breeze brushes upon your face as you walk through the seemingly never-ending corridors. you take just a second to glance down at the utterly useless map of the college they gave you before you bump into something, or someone. you almost go flying to the ground but they instantly catch you by your wrist, pulling you too close to them, almost too close.

you look up at your saviour, to find eyes blue like the sky as it turns into the dark of night, dancing with little white stars begging to be shown to the world. his eyes told a story that you couldn't even begin to decipher. before you could say anything, the boy drowned you in a plethora of apologies. he checked almost every inch of you to see if you were hurt in anyway. his short blonde hair swaying as he bobbed up and down, his hands frantically searching for any sign of damage. the only thing that came to mind was 'cute'.

you assure him that you were okay before he could continue on his first aid spree. when he finally stopped and looked at you, his eyes grew wide and the faintest of pink blossomed on his cheeks. he shifted his weight from left to right before extending his hand to you. you smiled brightly before taking it. his soft skin brushed against yours before firmly grabbing onto your hand.

"armin. armin arlert. i'm a sophomore. it's nice to meet you."

his shy demeanor slowly fading away as you introduced myself to him, telling him how you're a transfer student, and a junior. his eyes almost burst out of his skull when he hears you're older than him. he starts apologizing again, asking if there's anything he can do to make it up to you. you look down at your schedule and up at him. you did need help finding where your classes were, and where the dorms were. you couldn't pass up on his offer to help you.

you showed him your schedule and sheepishly asked him if he could show you to your class. his eyes lit up with an unknown sparkle. he nods his head so many times it looks as if it's going to fall off. he eventually leads you to your first class before waving and leaving to go to his first class. armin was a breath of fresh air, you thought. a man among boys, and you liked that.

after your first couple of classes before lunch, armin had waited for you, to make sure you knew where to go next. he was so accommodating, doing his best to make you feel welcomed, safe and happy. you had no idea how big the college was until armin gave you a tour of the campus during lunch. he pointed out all the 'need to know' places as well as the 'off limits' places. he was like a mini tour guide with the cutest glasses.

after all your classes that day, armin had walked you home. he just couldn't leave you to walk by yourself, he'd never forgive himself. he used this opportunity to show you more of the college. he went on a rant about the college's history while he pointed out stuff on your way to your dorm. his eyes were bright with joy, like a kid talking about their favourite toy. you couldn't help but smile at his childlike wonder. you hoped you'd get to see more if it. after a while he turned to see you staring at him. he immediately turns away, blush adorning his neck and his ears. he sheepishly apologises for his incessant talking but in all honesty you find it endearing.

when you've reached your dorm, you give him a tight hug and the biggest smile, before running off and shouting a 'thank you!, see you tomorrow!'. he stood there, dumbfounded. he was frozen stiff. his body had betrayed him. his body was on fire and all that blood had rushed straight down. he couldn't believe a single hug from you, someone he had met today no less, has made him hard, especially this hard. he was aching for release. maybe it was your words, or the way you looked at him, but god was he flustered.

he may not want to admit it, but that night, laying in the dark confines of his dorm room, he touched himself to the thought of you. his mind and heart raced at the prospect of you massaging his cock with your small soft hands, edging him till he couldn't take it anymore. teasing him and making his whole body extremely sensitive before his whole body gives in. he was a whining and sweaty mess, fucking his hand till he came so hard it left his body twitching. not once had he cum that hard before, and it was all your fault.

for the next month, your routine was the same as always. armin waits for you outside your dorm, you walk to classes together, eat lunch with him and his friends, he walks you home and ,without fail, he fucks his hand to the thought of you. some days he tries to hold out, he truly does, but that smile of yours is enough to tip him over the edge of no return. the way he acts around you doesn’t go unnoticed by you. he blushes when you get too close to him, his hands slowly moving towards his groin as he leaves them there inconspicuously, or at least inconspicuous to him.

you notice the small things about him. how he scrunches his nose when he concentrates, the way his eyebrows twitch when he hears something he doesn't agree with or when his breath quickens every time you say his name.

you're no different. his caring smile makes your body feel warm, and the compliments he gives you trail out of his mouth like honey, sickeningly sweet. his hand always seems to make it to your lower back when you're walking around a lot of people, and it sends tingles up your spine and he always tend to brush your hair out of your face while looking at you with those intoxicating sapphire eyes. your mind goes red with need: the need to break him.

one day he invites you to dinner, just 'something casual' he clarifies. he sees this as the time to make his move, and so do you. two plans with the same end goal. but who will achieve their goal first?

dinner time soon arrived when you heard your doorbell ring. outside your door stood a dashing armin, with his casual suit, no glasses and ring covered hands. your tummy did a flip at how stunning he looked. he bit his lip slightly at the way you were staring, trying his best not to shudder at the primal look in your eyes.

"why are you staring at me? do i look bad?"

he tries his best to fix his already perfect outfit when you catch his hand in yours, lean in and whisper in his ear.

"you look perfect."

you take this opportunity to pull him along with you to get this night started. after a while you had reached the restaurant. you were surprisingly still holding hands. armin made his way to the front desk, asking for the table he made a reservation for. so much for 'casual'. he leads you inside and like a true gentleman, he pulls out your chair before he sits down himself. there was a slightly bolder side to armin that was leaking out, and you couldn't get enough of it (thank armin's shot of liquid courage for that).

the night was filled with laughter and sweet words as well as looks filled with hunger and lust. both of you had been drinking quite a bit, and as it seems, armin was quite the lightweight. after paying the bill that armin in his delirious state insisted he pay for, you brought him back to your dorm. you gave him a bottle of water before sitting next to him where he had plopped himself on your couch. a couple of minutes had passed an armin had seemed to become a little more sober from what he was. his speech wasn't as slurred, but he was just as giggly. he continuously gave you compliment after compliment and they grew increasingly dirty as they went on. firstly he told you how he loved how pretty your hair was, how much he adores your soft hands, how much he loves the look in your eyes to how he always wanted to grab onto your hair, how he wanted your hands all over him, and how much he wanted to see that dangerous look of lust glimmer in your eyes once more.

it's like something in you snapped, and in a matter of seconds, you were on top of armin, straddling him with your hand slowly closing in on his neck. he couldn't wrap his head around what was happening, the alcohol in his system still clogging his brain. his body had reacted way before he could even register your ass on his cock. he whined beneath you trying to buck his hips up into you. you grabbed him by the throat and pinned his body to the couch.

"move again and i'll make you regret it."

your harsh words went straight to his cock, making him unbelievably harder. you could see his cockprint in his dress pants and you smirked. your other hand roamed down his chest, opening his shirt slowly. button by button you go, down until his chest is exposed. you kissed all the way from his collarbone, to his nipples, sucking and biting on them. he moaned so sweetly as his hands found purchase in your hair.

he was beyond overwhelmed, his body incredibly sensitive. your knee was rubbing against his clothed cock as you sucked and nibbled on his pretty pink buds. he couldn't do anything but moan and plead.

"please! please i- i need it! please!"

you release his nipple from between your teeth and you sit up, looking down at him. your gaze harsh yet loving. your grip slightly tightens around his neck as you lean cloer to him, your noses touching.

"use your words pretty boy. tell me what you want."

armin almost melted into your touch. your praise contrasting with your cold gaze made his cock ache. he mewled softly before looking at you, his eyes almost glazed over.

"kiss me. touch me please. wanna feel you!"

your heart skipped a beat at his little request to which you gladly obliged. you brought your lips slowly towards his before he pulled you closer to kiss you. his hands desperately wrapped around your neck as he kisses you deeply. your hands went to rest on his cheeks as you pulled him closer. your tongues dancing around each other in such harmony. both of your mouths tasting of alcohol but faintly sweet.

armin couldn't get enough. he was drunk of off you more than anything else. he whined and groaned as your clothed cunt rubbed against his cock that was begging for just a little more friction. you broke the kiss, the both of you panting, needing to catch your breath. you started to get impatient and moved down armin's legs.

"strip."

armin arms whipped down towards his pants as he fumbled with his belt before he got it undone and pulled down his pants and underwear, revealing his cock. contrary to popular belief, armin was big. his cock was so pretty n' pink, just begging to be touched and milked dry. your fingertips trailed up his shaft, feather-like touches driving armin completely insane. his cock was drooling with anticipation, precum making his tip glisten.

once you reached his tip, you swiped your thumb across his slit which made him throw his head back. armin tried his best to be quiet, biting down on his bottom lip, afraid that if he does something wrong you'll stop. your eyes trailed up his body to his face. he looked fucked out, panting and cheeks flushed, eyelashes sparkling with the faintest sight of tears. he looked absolutely perfect. you released his cock before slowly sliding your dress off, showing off the pretty black pair of lingerie you had chosen to wear. armin's eyes almost popped out of their sockets. his eyes roamed all over your body, from your thighs, to your breasts then up to your face. he was practically salivating.

you didn't fail to notice how his eyes darted across your body, looking at your breasts every few seconds. your hands went to the clasps of your bra, slowly unlatching it before throwing them on the floor somewhere, with all the other discarded clothing items.

"come on. don't me shy. i know you want to touch them."

you massaged your breasts slowly in your hands before leaning down towards him. his gaze was filled with doubt before you grabbed his hand and placed it on your right breast, sighing from the pleasure of feeling his soft hands on your body. in a matter of seconds, armin's hand is groping and massaging your breast like theres no tomorrow. he's other hand makes its way to the other and does the same. your hips start grinding into his, feeling the slick of his cock rub all over your lace panties. you groan softly trying not to move too fast. armin turns to look at you, lust filled eyes begging and pleading.

"can i- can i suck on them? please?"

your heart melted at his plea, his voice dripping with need. you nodded slowly as his lips attached to your hard nipple and a jolt of pleasure was sent through your body. you had never imagined he'd make you feel this good. his mouth lapped and suckeled at your breast like it was his last meal on this earth. moving from one to the other, he looked up at you with the kindest eyes and moaned out of satisfaction.

armin was lost in the pleasure of it all. his lips on you, his hands grabbing your waist, your pussy rubbing against his cock. he could almost burst at this point. he released your breast from his mouth with a pop as he tried to grind you harder against him.

"please! need to cum. please i- i need to cum! m-mommy!"

the words left his mouth before he could stop himself. his eyes went wide with fear as he looked up at you, apologizing before you shushed him with your lips against his. your lips felt like heaven to him and he couldn't get enough. after breaking the kiss, you kissed his forehead lovingly.

"it's okay baby. mommy will make you come."

you sat up, taking his cock in your hand and stroking it as fast as your hand could move, slightly grazing the tip every few thrusts. armin's mind was racing and his body was shaking as his orgasm approached. he was a whining mess, you could feel he was close as you played with his balls in the other hand. armin's senses were engulfed in pleasure; he could barely string a coherent sentence together.

"gonna- fuck! m'gonna cum! gonna cu-"

before he could finish his sentence, he came with a high pitched moan, your hands and his chest were covered in white. you helped him through his orgasm with a couple more strokes, his body shuddering with each one. you leaned down and peppered his face with kisses, praising him for being such a good boy, and for doing so well. before he could even respond, you moved your panties to the side, and lined up his still hard cock with your entrance.

"wait- i'm too sensitive! please m-mommy wait!"

without any warning, you slammed yourself down onto armin's cock until he was balls deep inside of you. that alone had your legs trembling. armin's mind was clouded in pleasure. he could feel your walls clench and unclench around his cock and he could almost cum from that alone. his hands came to rest on your hips as he patiently waited for you to move. you smirked down at him, raising your eyebrows, seemingly waiting for something.

"you can- you can move now. please move."

he was desperate now. he needed to feel your cunt slide up and down his cock. he needed the friction of your pussy. he was whined and squirmed in hopes of getting some movement. you looked down at him, your eyes showed a glimmer of something armin couldn't place, but it made him shiver.

"beg. if you want mommy to fuck you, you're gonna have to beg."

you smirked when you saw armins already red cheeks get the slightest bit redder. he tried his best, he really did. his eyes were pleading with him, his voice thick with want.

"please mommy! please bounce up and down on my cock! wanna feel you! your pussy is so good. god i- i can't handle anymore of this!"

your resolve was slowly breaking, the need to feel him move inside of you, as well as his delicious pleading, you couldn't wait anymore. with no hesitation, you started moving up and down his cock.

armin was mesmerised by your cunt. the way it flutters when his cock his a certain spot, the way it clenches just at the right time, and how incredible it made him feel. he was a mess. babbling and moaning about how good you feel, his head buried in your neck. your hands had found purchase in his hair, as you fucked yourself down onto his cock.

your ground your hips against his, hitting a particularly sweet spot within you that made you curse under your breath. you could feel armin's cock throb inside of you, indicating to you that he was close. you too were reaching your end, that knot inside your belly just waiting to be undone. you whispered in armin's ear, breath tickling his skin.

"when i tell you to cum, you'll come for me, won't you? you'll come for mommy like a good boy."

armin couldn't do anything but moan. you fucked him stupid. the boy's mind was a mess and all he could do was feel good and do as he was told. his hips started bucking into you as he was nearing his orgasm.

"m'gonna- mommy can i cum? can i cum inside of you? please i need it! i need to fill you up!"

how could you refuse? your body needed his cum as much as he needed to release it. your pussy walls clenched around his cock as your orgasm washed over you, mind hazy, eyes glossed over. armin was in heaven. he grabbed your hips and fucked up into you, riding you through your orgasm and getting to his own.

"feels so good! your pussy feels so good around my cock! gonna cum so fucking hard!"

before he knew it, he was painting your insides white, your body shuddered at the feeling of being filled, while armin slowly fucked his cum into your pussy. his cock twitched from the sensitivity, making his body shake from his orgasm. you leaned down and grabbed armin's face by his chin and kissed him. this kiss was different from the others. it was slow, kind and filled with love. after pulling away you kissed all over his face, making sure he was okay. his arms snaked around your waist and pulled you closer.

"i'm okay. i'm better than okay. that was...that was amazing."

you couldn't agree more. what you two had done was something you'd never done before. it was a feeling you had never felt, and you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. you laid your head down on armin's chest, listening to the beat of his heart as it slowly lulled you to sleep.

armin slowly brushed the hair out of your face, admiring how beautiful you were. he could've never imagined that this was how the night would end but he was glad it ended with you in his arms.

tagging: @jeanslove @kazuk3n @babydai

all works belong to @r1nf4iry ! Do not claim as own or reupload without permission!!

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house-of-slayterr · 3 years ago

Text

Night of the Living Red: I See Red Pt. 3

CW: Smut like I promised, lol.

I’m too lazy to focus on the magic spell part of the story, so just assume the boys work like vampire diaries vampires now, and they’re free from Max’s site bond.

Your POV:

The rest of the night was fairly uneventful. I snuggled up to Marko on the couch as I barely listened to the stories the other boys were telling. They didn’t really feel like leaving the cave again. I noticed Paul shifting in his seat, looking uncomfortable.

“What’s wrong puppy?” I asked him.

His skin flushed at the pet name.

“It’s nothing.”

I frowned, uncrossing my hands from around Marko’s shoulders, and crawling across the couch over to Paul. He gulped, his adam’s apple bobbing slightly. It was a delicious sight. He tried to look away, but I held my fingers under his chin and turned him to face me. He licked his lips, his breathing getting heavier.

“It’s clearly not nothing, I can smell it on you. What is it?”

“Really, it’s no big deal.”

“Paul-“ I warned.

“Ok ok, I tell you.”

“Good boy.”

“I’m the only one who didn’t get to feed before you changed our plans for the night. I’m hungry.” He whined.

I chuckled lowly, the sound purring in the back of my throat.

“We’ll why didn’t you just say so baby? I think a little demon blood is just what the doctor ordered.”

“We- we can drink from you?” He blinked.

“Our blood is highly sought over by many groups.” I explained, “hear we taste better after we’ve fed ourselves though.”

He locked his lips once again. Poor boy must have been starving.

“How do we know this isn’t a trick?” David finally spoke up.

“Do I have any reason to lie?”

“You lied to get up here and hold us hostage.” Dwayne said flatly.

It was clear he was still upset about my little display of dominance earlier.

“No, I said I wanted you go with you. Not my fault you assumed my intentions.”

He rolled his eyes.

“And why would you do that for him?”

Gosh, still so paranoid these too.

“I told you I liked you. Trust me you’d all be dead right now if I didn’t. I could have had my fun and left you here to rot. But I didn’t. Why? Because you guys seem fun, and anything I can do to piss off my ancestors is a plus in my book.”

“Your family seems complicated.” Marko chimed in.

“You don’t know the half of it lover boy. Diplomatic families are seriously energy vampires. That’s why most of us don’t live past our 20s. When you have everything, nothing really feels like it’s worth anything. Sounds privileged, I know, but I’d rather live on the streets then ever go back there.”

“You could stay here.”

All heads in the room snapped to him in an instant.

“Now don’t go making promises you can’t keep.”

“I’m serious, I don’t see why she couldn’t.”

“Maybe the fact that she’s a vampire hunter.” David pointed out.

“Yeah, one that’s going to give us the ability to walk in the sun again. She could probably even free us from Max if we ask nicely.”

“And who is this Max?” I asked intrigued.

“The bastard that turned us. Fucker said we’d be a family, but all he does is boss us around. And leave us to fend for ourselves. You know I had to teach them all how to vampires?” David ranted.

I frowned. What kind of Maker doesn’t stick with their fledgling.

“And he’s not very nice.” Paul pipped it.

“Is that so?”

“He’s always yelling at us for something.”

I ran a hand through Paul’s hair, swiping it out of his face. A small smile crept onto my own.

“What?” He asked.

“Nothing, just thinking about how nice his head would look as a foot stool.” I said.

He laughed, it was a sweet and additive noise. I desperately wanted to hear it again. God, these vampires were doing something to me. I could barely even hear the voice in the back of my head telling me to kill them. Normally humans had to try to get me in the mood. Half of the people here didn’t even like me, yet their annoyance with me was making me wet. What were they doing to me?

“You’d really do that?” David asked.

“You kill my priest, I’ll kill your daddy. You won’t even be confined to this shit brick little town anymore. We could go anywhere you want!” I offered.

Some travel companions would be nice. Vampire souls were much more filling than human souls. Just the energy radiating off of Paul right now was enough to keep me full for the night. But I wanted more, so much more. I looked back down at him, shifting a little so we were sat at the same height. I just starred at him for a bit, and he started laughing again.

“What?” He asked once more.

I placed a hand on his cheek.

“Can I-“ he didn’t even let me finish my sentence before his lips smashed into mine.

The kiss was hungry and desperate. Any other person would be able to ignore the other boys, but I could smell their arousal from here. They were turned on by me kissing Paul, so why not give them a show. I deepened the kiss, biting down on his tongue hard enough to draw blood. But he didn’t even flinch, not stopping the flow for a second. When I finally pulled away for air, I licked the small dribble of blood off his chin.

“You’re sweet.” I smiled at him.

I could tell I was torturing the poor boy. He was hungry and I’d just selfishly taken from him. But the blush on his cheeks was so damn cute. I gave him one more peck on the lips before crawling onto his lap. I leaned in so my back was against his chest, and moved my hair to one side of my neck.

“We’ll go on, it’s only fair.” I said.

He didn’t bother hesitating, I could already see his face shifting. Damn he was hot. I drew in a small breath as his fangs pierced the skin of my clavicle. God did it feel good, I leaned my head back, giving him more space to play around with. I couldn’t even keep my eyes open. I heard David chuckling from a crossed the cave. My spinning head probably making him sound further away than he actually was.

“Is this turning you on little succubus?” I could hear the smug tone in his voice, and it was not helping.

I pried my eyes open and looked at him the best I could.

“I’ve only heard stories of vampire souls, never been this close to one before.” I said.

A guttural growl sounded from Paul’s throat and I nearly lost it at that.

I snapped my legs shut and threw my head back again.

“Christ, baby you have no idea what you’re doing to me right now.” I purred out.

“He’s hardly even touching you” Marko laughed.

“I don’t see your hands doing anything-“ I snapped.

In less than a second Marko was in front of me kneeling on the floor. He ran his hands up my leg and his skin was so cold it sent goosebumps through my skin. I could feel David’s eyes trained on me from across the room. But he made no attempt to move, just watching with intent while sipping his beer. Dwayne was trying desperately to hide his arousal but he couldn’t hide from me. I chuckled to myself as he turned the other way in his chair, his back toward us.

Marko’s hands stopped when they reached the hem of my dress. I grit my teeth, frustrated that he wasn’t moving fast enough.

“Marko, I swear to Lucifer if you don’t rip this dress off me right now I’m going to stake you in your sleep.”

He didn’t need to be told twice, the sound of tearing fabric echoed off the cave walls. Oops, sorry mom. I was glad I wore my good lingerie set today, the red lace moulded to my every curve. I heard David clear his throat as he clearly choked on his beer. A shit eating grin crept onto my face. This was probably the closet to heaven a demon like me could ever get.

Marko’s hands tightest on my thighs as he pushed my legs apart. I was helpless to even try to tease him right now. This all felt so backwards, me submitting to someone. Normally my prey loved to beg before me, letting me do anything I wanted to get them off. But right now, these two vampires had me putty in their hands. And I wasn’t going to complain. It felt nice to not have to work for it. I felt his teeth nip at the inside of my thigh, and I let out a shocked gasp. My hands instinctively went to Paul’s hair, trying to gain some stability. He growled into my neck. He likes having his hair pulled, good to know.

I felt the slight sting as Marko bit down into the flesh of my plush thighs. His right hand stayed dug into the flesh of my hip, as his left hand reached up to rub circles on my clit. His hands felt amazing and I could hardly get out a sentence right now even if I tried. And somehow knowing David was watching shamelessly, and Dwayne cowering was just making everything so much better.

Normally I had to do a lot to get even a fraction of this wet. I hardly even orgasmed anymore when I fed from my clients. No matter how hard they tried, or how desperate they were to please me, I always had to take it. But as long as they orgasmed, I could get my fill. Sex had never really been about my pleasure before. I almost wined when Marko’s teeth left my skin.

“God Kitten you’re so wet.” He slurred out.

I couldn’t help the blush that spread through my checks.

“A succubus only needs the other person to orgasm to feed. And god those humans are boring.” I whined.

“You’re telling me nobodies ever made you cum?” David chimed in.

Now Paul’s teeth were out of my neck as well. He brushed some hair behind my ear as he readjusted his grip on me, keeping me steady.

“Not even in the room long enough to get wet usully. Human men are feeble creatures, all you have to do is touch them a little and then they’re done. They don’t know the difference between real or fake moans. One time this college boy had summoned me, and it was his first time. Barely had him in my mouth for a minuets before he was screaming. Poor boy was so embarrassed, I didn’t even want to try more, afraid I might break him.” I confessed.

David let out a light laugh.

“God, you’re more of a saint than me. I’d be pissed with the amount of pent up frustration you must have.”

“What do you think the killings for?” I quipped.

Marko’s hand was still on me, and don’t get me wrong it felt amazing. But I could at least think right now, long enough to have a congestion. But if I’m honest, I just wanted David to shut up and kiss me. And it seems my intentions were heard loud and clear. David set down his beer and moved over to the couch. Paul scooched us over so he could sit.

“Nice bra.” He complimented.

“What can I say, reds my favourite colour.”

“You’d look pretty bathing in it” he said.

He moved my hair out of the way and began leaving hot kisses on my neck. I could feel his little smirk after each one.

“Paul, baby, you full already?” I asked.

God I sounded like a concerned mother right now. Not the vibe I was going for.

“I’d much rather be eating something else.” He purred.

I shifted my weight so I was leaning most of it on David. Marko simple followed along, and Paul’s lips were back on me. He pulled away much to quick for my liking. But between Marko licking the wound on my thigh, and David trailing his hands down my spine, did I really have room to complain? I could taste a bit of blood in my mouth.

“You see, that’s what you taste like baby.” Paul complimented. “Most delicious thing I’ve ever sank my fangs in”

Why was I blushing so damn hard? I never blushed. I’d heard almost every line in the book from all the people I fed on. But something about the way Paul spoke just made my stomach Erupt in butterflies. I felt David’s hands reach the edge of bra, and a soft click was heard as he undid it. I let him take it off and throw it somewhere in the cave. Paul’s eyes had gone wide and he was practically drooling.

“Wanna know what I think?” I asked.

Paul nodded, his yes never leaving my chest.

“Your head would look much prettier between my tits.” I smirked.

The way his eyes lit up was practically adorable. I head David chuckle from behind me, the sound breathy in my ear. Paul latched his mouth onto my right breast and swirled his tongue skilfully around my nipple. I leaned my head back into David, you played with my left nipple with his hand. My body felt like it was on fire.

“Keep your eyes trained on me sweetheart, we’re going to make you feel so good.”

I heard Dwayne get up and footsteps disappear. I tried to move, thinking maybe we should stop. I felt bad. But David just pushed me back down.

“Don’t worry about him, just focus on us kitten.” He said.

And I could I say no to that? I pushed Dwayne from my mind for now, sad that the forth wouldn’t be joining us. They were cruel with it, bringing me to the edge several times and pulling away just to hear my winds. Every time I would squeeze my eyes shut, David would make me open them again, calling me a bad girl for not following the rules. Right, keep my eyes on him, I could do that. It shouldn’t be that hard.

Was this was all my clients felt like? No wonder I had regulars who kept coming back for more. I wished I could feel this blissed out all the time. It’s as almost painful. But the good kind of pain, the pain that reminded you you were alive. Despite my fathers best efforts, I was still here. And right now I’d say I was winning at life. Two have three hot vampires with their attention solely on me. It was like a dream.

“You haven’t had a taste yet” I pointed out.

I knew my blood would work as an aphrodisiac to them, I just casually left that part put. What they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them, besides they wanted to jump my bones the second they laid eyes on me.

“You want me to bite you, don’t you you little slut?” David asked.

I wanted to be cheeky and snap back, but instead a small “please” passed my lips.

What in the name of Lucifer was going on right now? I never beg for anything, let alone sex! What kind of succubus would I be if the others found out I was out here being a little bitch? But then again, none of them ever even dared to try a vampire.

“Ooo, I like it when you beg kitten. Say that again.”

“Please David! Please bite me!”

“How could I say no when you beg like that?”

Paul had taken over David’s work on my nipples so the boy could readjust. He licked a stripe up my neck and it sent shivers down my spine. I could feel his fangs gently scraping my skin and it was driving me crazy. No, I wouldn’t allow him to tease me. I grabbed his head and pushed it down, causing him to bite me. I could feel him chuckle into the bite.

“Somebodies desperate.” Marko teased.

I didn’t even noticed he had slipped two fingers into me, too distracted by David. The way he looked under me, smiling at me lazily as he played with my pussy, it was indescribable.

“Hell you’re pretty” I breathed out.

He stopped his movements for a second thrown off by my comment. But he quickly regained focus.

“You think I’m pretty huh?” He teased.

“Since the second I laid eyes on you. I couldn’t bring myself to look away. I’m so glad I entered that alley.” I said.

My words seemed to get him to pick up the pace. Praise kink, noted. Now I just had to figure out what David’s tik was.

“I wanted to fuck you so bad baby you don’t even know the things I was going to do to you.” I kept going.

My sentences came out shaky and breathless.

“You looked so pretty covered in that man’s blood. It’s the only thing I could think about all day.” I confessed.

Paul’s hands began roaming my body feverishly. It seemed he wasn’t happy all my attraction was on Marko. Neither was David, who bit harder into my shoulder, making me let you a gasp, as my back arched slightly.

“Oh fuck!” I called out.

Paul chuckled, pulling away to switch to my other breast. He bit down on the skin around my nipple, and I should have been angry but he looked so beautiful doing it. He couldn’t even keep his eyes open, he moved to straddle my thigh and was grinding down against it, desperate for any type of friction.

“Yeah, that’s it baby, just like that, you’re making mommy feel so good.” I praised.

David completely drew back at that, and my eyes moved to meet his. His eyes met mine in a glare. I smirked.

“Awww, is daddy mad I’m not giving him any attention?” I cooed.

I could feel his erection pressing up against my ass. Bingo, I’d hit the Jack pot.

“Im sorry Daddy, I promise I’ll be good. You can use me however you want. Show them how it’s done.”

The growl that came from his throat was mouthwatering. I felt high out of my mind. It was like they were made for me, and I for them. Marko seemed to take that as a challenged as he changed the angle of his fingers and I swore I was seeing stars.

“Oh shit! Fuck!” I cried out.

“You can’t even think right now can you baby?” David said.

And he was right, I could barely comprehend anything that was happening right now. I watched as he reached into his pocket and lit a cigarette, and brought to his lips. He took a long drag of it, and with cigarette still in hand, he wrapped his finger around my neck and craned my head backwards. He pulled me in fro a hungry kiss, blowing the smoke into my mouth. The slight tingle of the nicotine making my mouth feel hot. I strangled out a moan, and David squeezed his hand tightly around my throat.

I knew I would last long now, so I stopped trying to fight the orgasm they’d been building for almost an hour now. My breathing was shallow and rugged.

“It’s ok, cum for us baby” David gave me permission.

There was no time to think about it. Almost as if his words commanded it. I could feel the hot coil burning in my stomach was about to snap.

“Come on baby, I know you got it in you. Can you cum for daddy and his brothers. Show us how pretty you sound.” He encouraged.

Half his words didn’t even reach my ear drums a is threw my head back, arching my back, grinding my hips down on Marko’s fingers. I couldn’t even decide who’s name to moan, so I threw it to the wind and just let out a guttural cry. Every once of my body was on fire and my heart was pounding. Holy shit, if that’s what a real orgasm felt like, I never wanted to feel anything else again. I’d let them fuck me for hours just to get a taste of it. I couldn’t even tell who’s hands were hear as I tried to come down from my high.

“That’s it baby, you did so good for us. Such an obedient little girl.” David cooed.

I could still smell his cigarette.

“Can you look at me?” He asked.

His voice was more gentle then I expected.

“There you are.” He smiled at me.

I still couldn’t bring myself to speak.

“Feels good doesn’t it?” He asked.

I simply nodded my head.

“Aww, I think we broke her David. She can’t even speak.” Paul said.

Normally I’d smack him for that comment, but right now I was thanking Lucifer for this boy. There was still blood on his lips. I pulled him in for a kiss, and heard David chuckle. I laid back against David’s chest, still trying to speak. Paul lifted my legs to lay against his lap, and Marko adjusted himself to lean his back against the couch. I watched as he brought his soaked finger up to his mouth and kicked them clean. I swore the sight alone was already making me wet again. Damn it!

David’s eyes followed my line of sight and he smirked.

“It’s a shame only he got to taste you.” He said.

“You can taste me anytime you want” I said dreamily.

As a succubus, orgasm were so much different than they were as a human. Everything was 100 times more intense. For all intensive purposes, I felt like I could kill god right now, ironic, right.

“Your legs are still shaking.” He pointed out.

And that they were. Every part of my body felt tingly.

“Need more, want more.” I cried.

“Such a needy little thing aren’t you? And to think you wanted to kill us earlier.” He teased.

“Still might if you don’t kiss me right now.” I said.

I leaned up to bring him in for a kiss. My stomach muscles were sore from how hard I’d tensed. Suddenly I heard foot steps approaching. We all brought our focus to the sound.

“Omg, sorry!” A girl called.

She turned around and covered her eyes. I chuckled slightly. Next to her was Dwayne, and on the other side was a brunette boy. Dwayne made eye contact with me, pointedly avoiding my naked body. Such a gentlemen.

“I was wondering where you went dude.” Paul said.

“We never told Star or Micheal we came back to the cave.” He shrugged lazily.

Really? That’s all he had to say right now? So Star, that was her name.

“You don’t need to apologise Star, a succubus is never ashamed of her body. It’s not a sin too look you know, Lucifer himself told me.” I said.

I crossed my legs, and brought them to my chest, at least attempting to cover myself for her sake. My goal was never to make anyone uncomfortable, that was gross. Paul whined at my sudden lack of touch. Such a sinful noise that I wanted to hear again and again.

“You can turn around now.”

I told her after Marko had removed his jacket and draped it over my back. I’d notice Micheal never once tried to overt his yes. Maybe he thought I couldn’t see them through his sun glasses. Star moved over to the other couch to sit by Dwayne, but Micheal stayed put. And I knew why, he was miserably failing at trying to his his sudden erection. I chuckled darkly.

“Come on Micheal, I don’t bite, not unless you want me to.” I winked.

The poor boy was practically trembling as he walked over to his seat. He quickly pulled a pillow down on his lap.

“Dwayne didn’t think you guys would still be at it.” Star explained, still bashful as ever.

She was positively adorable, and god did I want her. Women were very different than men, much more complicated.

“No worries doll, you have nothing to be sorry for” I cooed.

“God, you’ll flirt with anything that walks won’t you?” Dwayne snapped.

The fuck was his problem?

“If said think had the cutest face I’ve ever seen, then yes.”

She covered her cheeks with her hands, only serving to make her more cute. Maybe it was because I was still high on vampire soul right now, but I couldn’t stop my heart from swelling anytime she moved. Everything about her was adorable, her style, her long curly hair, the way she figured with the ends of it when she was nervous. It made my heart flutter. A completely different experience to the one I had just moment ago. Something most Succubi never get to feel. We were creatures of sex, not love.

“You’re the one who brought her here,” I pointed out, “how could I not, pretty girls like her deserve the world.” I said matter of factly.

Dwayne rolled his eyes. That was it.

“You do know I can smell you right? You can keep denying it all you want Dwayne, if you don’t want to have any fun tonight, then be my guest. But let the lady and her friend speak for themselves.”

“Y-you can smell him?” Micheal asked.

I knew what he was really asking.

“You too. It’s almost like you’ve never seen tits before” I giggled.

He groaned clearly embarrassed.

“It’s ok baby, everyone has their own pace. No need to get so blushy on me.” I cooed.

Paul cackled beside me.

“Aww little Mikey want to play.” He said.

I couldn’t hold back my laugh. Paul almost seemed more proud of that then helping me reach my orgasm. I reached up and stole the cigarette from David’s fingers. Smirking as he glared at me. I let out a long puff of smoke before speaking.

“It’s ok, I have more than enough juice for tonight. We can just chill and enjoy ourselves.” I said, “but I’m not completely opposed to round two.” I finished.

David angrily swiped the cig back from me. I watched as Star squirmed in her seat. Interesting, her eyes were trained on Micheal. She had a crush, how cute.

“Unless of course, you want to help the poor boy out Star. Wouldn’t want to step on any toes here.”

She couldn’t even stutter out any actual words. Poor girls brain much be running a hundred miles an hour.

“I wouldn’t even know how.” She finally muttered.

“That’s ok sweetness, I could show you. Nobody better to learn from really.”

She blushed even harder if that was possible. I wrapped Marko’s jacket around my shoulders and stepped over him on the floor, crossing the room to her. I bent down beside the couch like Marko had earlier. I gently took her hand in mine when she showed no apprehension.

“Do you want to?” I asked.

Her eyes met mine, and I understood why her name was star now. It was like she held the whole galaxy in her eyes.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to Love, I’d be more than content to just sit by you.” I said truthfully.

The boys were clearly alarmed by how different I was with her Vs them. So sweet and gentle. Even I was a bit taken aback, never really feeling this way before.

“You intrigue me, Mon coeur, I would be honoured to show you.”

Dwayne’s eyes were on me. The jacket barely did anything to cover my exposed skin. My lace panties now soaked and barely leaving anything to the imagination.

“I could show Micheal how to please you too, wouldn’t you like that?”

I rubbed my thumb against her knuckles. Her skin was so soft, unlike the boys. Her hands felt nice in mine and I couldn’t fight the smile that broke on my lips. She was making my heart do summer salute just by looking at me. I saw her eyes scan the room. She was uncomfortable by the audience.

“Marko?” I asked, drawing his attention to me.

I didn’t even have to ask, he already knew where I was heading.

“There’s a nest in the back of the cave, we wouldn’t even here a thing.” He offered.

“Do you want me to make you feel good baby?” I asked her.

She gave a shy nod. I was quick to pick her up from the couch, my demon strength making her feel like a teddy bear in my arms. She let out a squeal, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and burying her face into my neck. I could have sworn my heart stopped. I’d never heard a cuter sound. I used one arm to hold tightly onto her legs so she felt secure. I held my other hand out behind me for Micheal to grab.

I lead them both away to the back of the cave. Micheal seemed tense and I gave his hand a gentle squeeze. I already had more than enough fun for tonight. I was more than content to just focus on their pleasure. I had to admit, they’d make quite the couple.

“Dwayne was telling us about you” Micheal spoke.

His voice came out horse and strained.

“Oh?”

“He said you’re going to help them.”

“What can I say, I’m a charitable demon.” I laughed.

“Are you really a demon?” Star asked, sounding a bit scared.

I shushed her. “You have nothing to be afraid my mi amour, you’re in good hands tonight.”

This was going to be a long night, but I didn’t mind one bit. I’d finally found people that made me feel alive, made me feel almost human again. And once I got a taste, I was addicted. But there was still Dwayne. The only man alive to ever resist my charms. He was like a forbidden fruit, dangling right in front of me. And by Lucifer did I want to take a bite!

Tag: @vechkinfan @henhouse-horrors @iloveslasher @oceansrose2002 @tohuntafreak @queer-and-utter-chaos @judeknight @phantomenby @patient1666074 @auntvamp @lazuli-leenabride @2525sc

An: Sorry it took so long lol, I forgot I said I was going to make this a trilogy. You guys can decided what happens from here 😏 as an asexual I’m still really bad at writing smut lol. I have no idea what I’m doing. Why do y’all keep asking (not saying you should stop, this was fun) but I hope you enjoyed none the less. Everyone got a happy ending this time, unless you count Max and the priest who would surly die the next sundown. 😂

I totally wasn’t listening to this song while writing or anything… 👀

#the lost boys #paul tlb #David tlb #Dwayne tlb #marko tlb #max tlb #micheal emerson #star tlb #Spotify

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chemicalcarousel · 2 years ago

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okay so i have this theory that even neurotypicals & singlets don't always know who they are

cw // fakeclaiming , identity confusion , identity disturbance

what i mean is that we dont always consciously think "i am bob, i like to read about birds and i need my morning coffee" or something like that. we just exist. we just do things. and then if we run into some situation that require us or just reminds us of recognising who we are, most people would probably be able to define themselves, but even then a lot of the immediate response is something we have learnt and just automatically reply with, like the made up example i put in quotation marks earlier. most people, no matter the brain, will be confronted with the fact that they actually dont fully know who they are. especially in your teens and as a young adult, but also later in life. here erik erikson jumps to mind with his theory of identity conflicts at certain life stages, which i think many people can relate to

well, my personal experiences have lead me to this understanding at least. whenever i've attended something and people have to present themselves, many actually struggle a bit. and how many of yall saw people around you figuring out that they actually were trans/gay/queer/ect when we all had to socially distance and got more time to realise more sides of ourselves? I know i did. i have friends who did

okay now this is just a rant. this always happens, my apologies. idk i just find personality psychology and the concept of identity super interesting and honestly i could discuss it for ages (i feel sorry for my friends /lh)

conclusion: no one knows who they are at all times, so if you feel like it is a sign of faking when you dont know who you are and have to think about it - just know that even people with one single identity to manage can get confused too and have to do some soul searching to learn who they are besides "basic characteristics"

peace & love, an alter in a system who's not sure who they are <3

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orionsangel86 · 4 years ago

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SPN Conspiracies - Applying Logic to Chaos

Its been over 2 months now since the Supernatural finale aired. I am still so angry, hurt, and confused by it and I don’t think I will ever get closure unless someone like Andrew Dabb, or Jensen Ackles, actually opens up and gives us an explanation that makes sense.

What annoys me most right now is people trying to gaslight fans into believing that we should accept the narrative we have been given at face value: That the finale was always planned to be that way, that Destiel was never on the cards, that there was no Network interference, that the only changes made were due to covid and were minor at best.

This harmful gaslighting is FALSE.

NO ONE KNOWS THE TRUTH OF WHAT HAPPENED.

Look, I don’t agree with some of the crazier conspiracy theories. I don’t believe that there was some huge campaign among the CW Network execs to remove anything remotely gay out of homophobia. I don’t believe that the finale was changed because of some desire to make it into a Walker promo. I don’t believe that the finale was really bad on purpose in protest by Dabb for not getting to do an ending he truly wanted. I don’t believe that Dabb left us smart fans a bunch of secret messages in the finale to hint that he was on our side all along and that everything was fake.

I do, however, believe that all of these conspiracy theories have some elements in them that are plausible. At least, more plausible than the bullshit narrative mentioned above that some people are pushing in some desperate attempt to defend the Network (which imo is really strange behaviour anyway - why would anyone care about a TV network with a history of terrible behaviour?!?)

We have facts, based on information provided before the covid lockdown, which for some reason, people like Misha have since backpeddled on. So let me try to outline some of the information that makes no sense.

Below the cut I go on a deep dive into the conspiracies and statements I have heard about the SPN finale and try to make some sense of this whole fucked up situation. It gets long.

1. “Cas was never gonna be in the finale”.

False: We have many fan accounts of Misha confirming that he was filming the finale. We have video evidence of Misha confirming he was going back to film the finale after the lockdown. We have confirmation from fans in Misha M&Gs from March that he had about 5 days of filming left.

We also had fan accounts of discussions with Alex Calvert (I think) where he confirmed the final shot of the final episode was all four of them though I would LOVE if someone can find a source for this.

2. Okay, Misha was gonna be in the finale, but only as Jimmy Novak

False: I heavily side eyed Misha when he said this. But I think I can come up with a plausible explanation for it. Per above, Misha was supposed to film for 5 days. This does not align with the half a day he described of filming as Jimmy Novak. My own belief is that after Cas was cut from the finale (for whatever reason we don’t know) someone (probably Jensen Ackles) put up a fight and complained that Misha should be there for the final episode. The writers probably tried to come up with a way to bring Misha back without having to deal with Cas, and pitched the idea of Jimmy Novak being in Heaven. Misha, obviously annoyed about this, turned this stupid pitch down.

3. Destiel was never a thing, never planned, never part of Dabb’s ending. Bobo and Misha pushing the confession was the part of the season that was Wrong.

False: We have a SPN writer on record saying that Castiel’s confession was the first thing written for Season 15 when the writers returned to the writers room. If it wasn’t planned, why was it the first thing written, why does it align so well with the rest of season 15? Look I know some people either a. hate destiel and refuse to see it even if it slaps them in the face, or b. have major heteronormative goggles on, or c. are just homophobes in denial, but 15x18 fits in perfectly with the narrative of season 15. Everything Cas says, everything that happened in that scene was so in character it just works. It fit. If you just rewatch the season whilst applying some critical thinking skills and pay attention to the narrative and character arcs, trust me, the confession fits in with pretty much every other plot point, and character story in the season.

Also: We have known for a while that the network did market research into Destiel, wanting to know if it would go down well or not. They were well aware of its popularity and considering it. Where would this have come from if not pitched by the showrunner? Dabb must have at least been considering it. If you take all of Dabb era into consideration, starting with mid season 11, all the way through the season 12 build up, season 13 grief arc, and then Bobo’s Destiel break up arc in late season 14, early season 15, it is clear that there was some toing and froing on the issue of Destiel, but ultimately, I still believe that Dabb was on board. He wrote 13x01 for christs sake. No way he wasn’t taking it seriously.

4. It’s always been about the brothers. The finale just stays true to what Supernatural is all about.

*rubs temples* Fundamentally FALSE: The show has time and again reasserted the message of “Family don’t end with blood”, as well as the messages of AKF and YANA. Sam and Dean may be at the heart of the show, but a heart can’t exist without a body to support it. Without bones, and lungs, and blood, and muscles, and a BRAIN. The finale abandons the shows core messages. It forces the characters back into their season 1 characterisations and the whole thing becomes hollow and souless. But I’m not here to complain, I’m here to lay down the facts. Dean’s heaven was supposed to be surrounded by loved ones right? We know OG Charlie Bradbury was gonna be in his Heaven, we also know CAS was gonna be in there. So this idea that the finale as it currently stands was how it was meant to be is wrong. Dean was supposed to die and reunite with his found family and loved ones. This alone would have been a far better ending than the one given. Do I think this was solely a covid issue? Fuck no.

The randoms that WERE in the finale are proof alone that they could have got people in and quarantined. We also have several actors on record saying that they WOULD have quarantined for the finale had they been asked to return but they WEREN’T.

Lies have been told. Samantha Ferris and Chad Limberg have confirmed that we have been lied to about the original plans for the finale.

This alone is proof enough that there is more plausibility in some of the conspiracy theories than any bullshit narrative some people are pushing in defence of the barbaric mess of a finale we were given.

So lets address some of the conspiracy theories now:

Conspiracy No.1: The CW Network reviewed Supernatural during the covid break, and due to homophobia, refused any Destiel arc that wasn’t already filmed, shut down any potential reciprocation from Dean, and forced Dabb to change his finale.

I don’t think this is entirely what happened. But I do think it is very strange how there is a such a huge disconnect particularly in Dean’s characterisations between what had come before the lockdown, and what came after. The one fact we have here, and please someone provide a source if you can find it because I know there is one, the finale script was still going through changes up to only 2 weeks before it was filmed. We know that there was some weird editing in 15x18 (which was still in post and uncompleted before lockdown) and we know from Jensen’s own mouth that there was more to the confession scene on Dean’s side that was cut. We also know that this isn’t the first time that Destiel heavy moments have been changed in post - the prayer scene is another big scene that went through a lot of changes and Bobo fought to have his script play out the way he wanted it.

There are certain things that in my own opinions, are basically true of SPN which I have put together from years of keeping one eye on the writers room, the network, and all the various comments made. My opinion is this:

The writers room has always been split on Destiel. Some writers heavily supported making it canon, others did not care, or were against it.

The Network considered it over the course of several years, did market research, green lit it, then changed their minds, possibly several times over the course of Dabb’s era. Destiel was pitched to the Network early in Dabb era.

The crew on set were also split. Some people heavily supported it, and worked to assist the reading, whereas others did not care/did not support it. The same can be said for the editing room.

Bob Singer supported the subtextual homoeroticism, but never supported bringing it into text (this is an opinion, but I think it aligns with everything we know about him.) IMO Bob Singer also supported subtextual homoeroticism between Sam and Dean - the guy is gross is what I’m saying. He isn’t exactly a progressive person.

Fun fact - a while back our old enemy Sera Gamble went on a Twitter rant about writers rooms and the ways a script goes through changes. I don’t think this was in relation to the SPN finale wank but she basically inadvertantly confirmed that the Network can step in and make sweeping changes to a script if they want to and if they decide they don’t like the direction of a story. Sera Gamble confirmed this as a fact.

Now. I’m not saying that this is what the CW did with Destiel. I just think its very strange how pre lockdown, the last thing filmed is a heartfelt homosexual declaration of love between Dean and Cas, and we have a finale script that Misha had not seen, but knew that he was meant to film as Castiel for 5 days (5 days on set is over half of an episode as far as I know). Then all of a sudden, Covid happens, and Cas is cut from the finale completely, a desperate attempt to bring Misha back only as Jimmy Novak takes place, which Misha rightly refuses, leading to a finale which makes zero sense narratively and appears in every way completely and utterly butchered.

The only explanation provided by anyone involved is that Covid meant changes had to happen - but that covid didn’t change the actual story at all.

But this makes no sense because we know that Cas was cut from the finale. This is FACT. Do not let anyone gaslight you into thinking otherwise. Misha was preparing to quaranting to return to set as Cas post Covid, so whatever happened to cut Cas from the finale, it wasn’t Covid.

I’m gonna have to Occum’s Razor this and say that the most logical explanation here is the one that is most likely true. Someone got cold feet with the Destiel story, and to prevent any possible interpretation that included Dean reciprocating, any hints of Destiel were removed from the finale script, including Castiel’s whole appearance.

Now, this isn’t me saying I think that Dabb’s original finale was full of Destiel love confessions and a homosexual kiss or whatever, but I am asking you all to really think about it and ask yourselves WHY Cas would have been totally cut from an episode he was supposed to be in at LEAST half of?

We will probably never know the real reason Cas was cut, but he WAS cut. I’m not saying it was all homophobia, but some fuckery went down.

Conspiracy No. 2: The CW Network changed the finale to make it into a Walker promo because they only cared about raising up Jared and not Jensen and Misha as they were losing them anyway.

I don’t agree with this in terms of the finale being butchered solely to make it into a Walker promo. There are however moments in the finale that are clearly supposed to be Walker Easter Eggs and added to excite fans of Jared/Sam in particular such as Sam’s gratuitous and unnecessary topless scene, as well as the call on the “case in Austin”.

I will take this moment to say something pretty damn controversial though.

*Deep breath*

The fact is, Dean Winchester has been the “lead” character of Supernatural’s narrative for years now, with Sam often being sidelined and not given great storylines himself. Even in Season 15, right up until the finale, I myself felt bad for Sam sometimes because so much of this show has become all about Dean. Jensen Ackles is clearly the better actor when it comes to emotional story arcs, so the emotional heart of the story has most often leant on him.

So you can understand my confusion, when this is turned on its head in the final episode, to make Sam carry all the emotional weight, and have the most lines/screentime, and story resolution (even if his story resolution was just as crappy as Dean’s).

If we pretend that Destiel is not a thing, and ignore Cas’s confession, the story change in the finale from Dean focus to Sam focus is still rather suspicious. Again, I’m not saying I completely approve of or agree to the conspiracy theory that Walker influenced the butchering of the script, but I can believe that perhaps a note went down from the CW to someone like Bob Singer, to emphasise Sam/Jared more than they perhaps would normally, because the CW wanted to shine the spotlight on Jared to raise excitement for Walker.

I can also believe this note might have said something like “we wanna cater to fans of Sam/Jared the most - don’t do anything to piss them off.” but now I am getting into my own conspiracy theories so by all means dismiss this as me being bitter.

Conspiracy No.3: Dabb purposely made it bad, as a secret message to Destiel fans that he had been silenced, by layering meta clues into the episode that he knew fans would notice.

I doubt this one is true. Though some of the theories are quite compelling. The old vampire silent movie theory for instance starts off quite well, but loses me the moment it brings up Urban Dictionary slang.

Sometimes I have just had to accept that Supernatural is a bad show that is sometimes accidentally a masterpiece. However, some writers really did go That Deep with their stories - anything by Ben Edlund or Steve Yockey for instance, their episodes are meta masterpieces with a hundred different layers of beautiful subtextual storytelling and are a joy to analyse. Bobo Berens has certainly done some A+++ work especially now we KNOW that he was working hard all this time to bring Destiel to canon text (so any analysis of Destiel in the subtext in his episodes is very accurate). There have been many other key elements analysed over the years which have been confirmed true. Cas’s death in Season 12, Dean’s time as a demon in season 10, Season 11 ending in unity of dark and light, these were all plot points predicted by meta writers just by analysing the narrative. Sometimes the writers really have been very smart and they do add things to the show to aid us in our meta.

Richard Speight Jr for instance, confirmed that SPN has a visual library that the production team use to give clues and hints in the narrative. Pizza, for example, always means a lie has been told. Whenever Pizza is being eaten or even just mentioned on screen, there is dishonesty in that particular moment.

The beers also have a very specific message and the one thing I can’t let go about the finale, was that Dean was drinking El Sol beer. The beer his dad gave him, that was terrible.

El Sol has been used in the show to indicate something being wrong, a fake reality, or another lie, for the longest time. It is the beer of deception.

The fact that in the final episode of this entire show, Dean is in Heaven, supposedly at peace, and then he gets handed an El Sol beer to drink? Thats a HUGE red flag for any meta writer watching who can read SPNs visual library.

If they had given him the Margiekugel beer of family then it would make sense. Dean is in Heaven, with Bobby, his family, at peace. Margiekugel should have been the beer of choice. But nope. El Sol. Something is wrong.

I don’t know if it was Dabb, or Singer, or some disgruntled ADs and crew members who added these elements into the finale, but their very presence confirms some message of Wrongness.

I could go into a huge rant about Vampire Mimes not making sense and the very glaringly obvious symbolism of cutting out peoples tongues too, but that is high school level film analysis. It’s obvious. It means to silence someone. There is validity in interpreting this as Dabb saying he was silenced. I don’t know how true it is, but i can’t 100% dismiss it, because as I said, this is high school analysis levels of obvious subtextual storytelling.

So in summary, whilst I don’t think that Dabb intentionally went out of his way to sabotage his own script, and leave a breadtrail of secret messages for savvy fans to put together to confirm that he was silenced by an evil network into not getting what he wanted... I do think that there is validity in questioning these odd choices for the finale. Cutting out tongues? Vampire Mimes? El Sol beer?

The evidence is somewhat compelling is all I’m saying. I don’t believe the full conspiracy theories, but as I have said many times before, some fuckery went down.

So What Do I Believe?

That some fuckery went down and whatever company line they are pushing is bullshit.

I believe that the original script included Cas (since thats fact). I believe that the original script probably always had Dean dying on a vampire hunt (due to Jensen’s issues with it and in particular, his sarcastic comments about vampires in the past year or so which in hindsight are hilarious and prove he never really came to terms with Dean’s idiotic death). I believe Dabb’s original script was some less crappy version of what we got, which potentially included showing Jack rescuing Cas from the Empty and resolving the outstanding Empty plot points (potentially this was actually a 15x19 plot since Mark P commented that his final scenes were supposed to be with Jack and Cas), had Cas reunite with Dean in Heaven and had them have a discussion about Cas’s confession. I believe that there was probably a lot of back and forth over how to handle that with some people wanting Dean to obviously reciprocate and others believing they should keep it ambiguous. I believe that Dean and Cas would have reunited with Charlie Bradbury, and Bobby Singer, and possibly others (though if this was the case it must have been very early on since no one ever looped in Sam Ferris, Chad Linberg or any other Roadhouse people).

I believe that Sam’s ending probably didn’t change much, but I do feel that initially they were planning on him ending up with Eileen, because it is the only thing that narratively makes sense. Cutting Eileen and giving him a blurry wife is something I won’t ever understand and Jared’s bullshit explanations are quite clearly pulled out of his ass to appease bronly types. I believe the reunion on the bridge would have included Cas and Jack, with a final shot of all four of them together, at peace (as this aligns with Alex’s comments from around a year or so ago that the final shot was all four of them). (I also am not sure it was always supposed to be on a bridge since the foreshadowing in an earlier episode showed Dean, Cas and Sam all in the Roadhouse together).

I believe that script went through countless changes and redrafts, and not even production people or the types that some fandom people claim as their “sources” would even have seen those early scripts, since even Misha never saw it. I believe that these rumours of Dabb never having Cas in his finale and ignoring all Destiel elements likely come from people who only saw later versions, weren’t party to network discussions and felt bitter about the final scripts they did see (being the crappy butchered one that was ultimately filmed). Those “sources” are now spreading rumours to discredit Dabb.

I obviously believe Dabb is a weak ass pushover who either didn’t care enough to fight back, or gave up since he’s been stuck with fucking Bob Singer on his back for years, but I will NEVER believe he didn’t care about the DeanCas love story, because he has been one of the few writers who has championed for it for years. You can’t look back at Dabb’s episodes in earlier seasons and claim he didn’t care. Dabb was a writer whose creative ideas were beaten out of him by an unforgiving Network only concerned about where their future money was coming from. Do I think he gave up too easily? Yes. But I also have one other huge reason for not believing the bullshit about Dabb being this anti-Destiel villain.

Bobo. Because if Bobo truly believed Dabb was gonna fuck that up at the end, I don’t think he would have given us Cas’s love confession to begin with. If he had known it was gonna end like that, I think he would have reconsidered, because had Cas not confessed his love, I don’t think he would have been cut from the finale. Bobo - a gay man, would not have wanted such a horrible message for queer fans being put across in the show he worked so hard on. He started writing that confession scene the day they returned to the writers room. Dabb would have been there, would have seen what he was writing, probably discussed it with him, after all, other episodes were written with the confession in mind. No way was Dabb planning to fuck up the ending knowing what Bobo was giving us. Nope.

Something went very wrong over lockdown. Someone, somewhere up the chain of power caught wind of the confession scene in 15x18, realised that it demanded a resolution which would make Dean Winchester, their protagonist, queer, and pulled the plug. I believe this did not come from a place of homophobia, but of bad business sense.

The CW is constantly trying to win the approval and attention of the one demo group that they seem to fail at getting the most: young straight men. Supernatural was one of their only remaining shows that appeals to young straight men, and Dean Winchester is more often than not the fave character of those young straight men who project onto him. Making Dean Winchester, established Han Solo of Supernatural, queer and in love with his best friend in the finale would have come across as a betrayal to those young straight men. The CW probably feared they would lose that demo group for good, and with a show like Walker starting soon with Jared at the helm, they couldn’t take the risk.

Hence there was probably a whole bunch of back and forth script redrafts with the Network, with Dabb and Singer fighting to make a finale that would appeal to everyone. There was most likely no way that they could bring Cas back without addressing what had already been filmed, because any resolution of that plot would either a. make Dean queer, or b. address it awkwardly by having Dean reject Cas (this storyline would probably have been slammed by critics worse than the finale because it meant addressing it. It might have got the attention of LGBTQ activist groups and caused a bigger shitstorm than what we got). The best option was therefore C. Bury it and Cas, pretend it never happened. Never address it again and distract Dean with other things. Hope that Destiel fans will accept no answer from Dean as ambiguous enough to imagine a future reunion rather than shutting it down with a rejection, and still keep hold of the blissfully ignorant heteronormative straight boys so they can carry over to Walker when it starts.

I also believe (controversially probably) that there was concern that any resolution of Dean and Cas would have overshadowed network darling Jared Padalecki. If Dean and Cas had come together in the finale, with a very clearly textual homosexual reunion, then that would have been all anyone talked about. The reviewers, the critics, the audience, everyone. It would have been nothing but Dean and Cas (and look, if they did think this, they were right, Destiel trending over the US ELECTION.)

So what is the network to do, when they are losing the two stars who would get the most attention from this storyline? The one star they were holding on to and getting his own show, relegated to third place in the finale of the show where he was first on the call sheet? Nope. That’s pretty unacceptable. Even without Walker I can imagine people at all levels side eyeing the Destiel thing over the years. This IS a show about two brothers, and their relationship should be the core relationship, we can’t have one brother pushed aside in the finale to make way for a queer relationship that will get all the attention instead. It was never gonna get approved for this reason ALONE.

At the end of the day, if I look at it from a business perspective, it makes far more sense that the CW shut down Destiel, rather than “oh Dabb never cared and ruined it because he’s an idiot.” The writers cared, and had built on that story over years. But their mistake was leaving any Destiel resolution to the finale. If they had instead gone and got Dean and Cas together in early season 15, then they could have ended it in a way that satisfied everyone. Destiel wouldn’t have threatened pulling focus away from Sam and Dean, and the show could have gone out on a high.

When I lay out all the conspiracy theories, and line them up next to the cold hard facts, the conspiracy theories in some way or another, make more sense. To believe the company line, the narrative we have been fed, is to ignore your own eyes, ears, and memories pre March 2020.

All I’m asking people to do is take a look at the show, the narrative presented in the show, and the information presented above. I’m not telling you to believe what I’ve written here, half of which is just my own opinion. I’m asking you to ask yourselves if it makes sense to you. Because it sure as hell doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied.

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embrassemoi · 4 years ago

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Surrounded by the Moon and Stars ✷ 23

Pairings: Sirius B, Remus L, [F]Reader CW: Drinking, slight internalized homophobia A/N: The first part dives into Lily's sexuality. It’s pretty innocent but may make readers uncomfortable. If you want to skip, go past the line break and I bolded the words ‘Round round get around’ for when it’s ‘safe’ to continue!

Chap 23 Playlist

【 Masterlist: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter 】

Chapter 23: The Daily Quarrel

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Lily always considered herself to be calm, rational and level-headed, that’s what made her a great prefect and student. But over the last five months, Lily felt herself becoming everything but that.

Lily never concerned herself with dating. Of course, she’d entertained the thought. She had crushes before, many crushes, and dabbled in the idea of romance, love, dates and commitment. Especially now as it seemed like the older she got, those around her fell into relationships and quick snogs in the broom closet that she was forced to break up one too many times. If she were to date, she didn’t want to force it. Lily wanted it to come naturally. It was never that important. If it happened, it happened, and she would welcome it with open arms.

But recently, it was all she could think about.

At first, it was a passing thought. Boys — dating — and then other things she thought she buried deep down began to resurface.

Girls, by every definition, were beautiful. Lily would admire the way they style their hair or religious headwear, how they carried themselves with such effortless grace that they never seemed to notice themselves. Girls, women; Lily thought they were thoughtful, kind and more respectful than men. She felt loads more comfortable around them before her thoughts began to turn more obscure — until her mind quickly shut it down and interjected that she just wanted to be close friends.

That was an utter lie.

It’s not like Lily didn’t feel any sort of attraction towards boys. She did, very much and had feelings both romantic and well… er — unleashed a plethora of other feelings. Lily was not opposed to holding hands, kissing or cuddling them, she really liked the idea and felt herself grow warm. She would do all sorts of things with the right boy. But there was something so exciting, yet frightening when the idea of hand-holding, kissing and cuddling with Y/N. That certainly left Lily with sweaty palms, heart racing and a flustered mess.

Whenever she held her hands, went around holding her arm in the halls, or crept into each other’s beds at night, Lily felt like a puddle of nerves.

She’s managed to force a smile most of the time whenever improper thoughts surfaced. She could be alone, walking the hallways for her prefect duties and something would pop up: when her fingers ran through Lily’s scalp when she brushed her hair. Her smile. Her eyes… her damn eyes… All she thought about these days was her. How was Y/N doing? She’s so funny! Would she like the way she styled her robes today? How would she look on top of — ARGH! Lily was mortified half the time.

Let’s just say that it was a gradual realization.

Lily wasn’t stupid, far from it and knew what was happening and it left her on complete edge, especially around Y/N. It left her face scarlet red and felt as if her chest was about to burst into a bloody mess. She couldn’t even look or be anywhere near her sometimes because it was too overwhelming.

But her feelings… Lily grew up being taught that she wasn’t supposed to feel this way for another girl, let alone both boys and girls...

Her heart, mind, morals, feelings, everything she believed in was at war. Lily felt herself change inside and out. It’s always been there, those… emotions — and suddenly it just ripped at the seams. Y/N was just the tipping point.

But why did it feel like such a crime for something so innocent? Something that is supposed to be beautiful?

And Y/N… out of all people!

It had been a very tiring and stressful school year so far.

Potter��s birthday had coincided with Gryffindor’s win against Hufflepuff and thus, a joint party was thrown. Lily watched from the sidelines as Y/N’s back faced her. The glowing of lights, all charmed red, immersed her as she snapped an abundance of photos of a very plastered Potter having the time of his life. He stood on a table, drunkenly singing.

Another bright flash went off and she brought the camera down, took the photo and shook it. A wide smile plastered on her face as she watched the photo develop and her body shook with laughter. But as if Y/N knew Lily was staring, her head swivelled around with a smile so blinding that it hurt Lily’s heart; now filled with hot shame again.

She shouted over the loud music. “Petals! C’mon, let loose for once!” She pointed to the cup in hand.

Lily looked down, looking at the amber liquid filled to the brim of her cup, untouched. Her gaze looked back, giving her a shy thumbs-up and brought the cup to her lips. The bitter taste of Firewhiskey burned before spreading warmly through her. But, Y/N’s reaction was worth it.

Lily tried to still her heart as she ripped her gaze away. Y/N made her feel everything but calm, rational and level-headed. It was terrifying.

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‘Round round get around, I get around, yeah

(Get around round round I get around, ooh-ooh) I get around’

“Hip-hip —” James bellowed, raising a glass filled with Firewhiskey in the air.

“HOORAY!” The Gryffindors roared back.

“Hip-hip —”

Throughout the night, Sirius danced with probably every girl there before he went to turn the record player louder, re-filling his glass. He watched as James hopped off the table and made his way to Emmeline, peppering her skin with sloppy kisses that made her laugh and eyes crinkle.

They all officially met her that night. She’s sweet, kind and they found out she’s just as crazy as James in the love department and they seemed beyond happy.

Peter was there, who looked at the two, almost enviously, faced stained red before solemnly bobbing his head to the music. Sirius didn’t think much of it, instead just passed it off as a sad drunk.

‘I'm gettin' bugged driving up and down the same old strip

I gotta find a new place where the kids are hip’

Sirius cringed; he was never a fan of the Beach Boys but Wormtail and Prongs loved it…

Students jumped, rocking to the blasting music. Some talked, some were snogging, others tipsy or drunk. Sirius grinned from ear to ears as he looked around the room, searching for Remus. He was already a pole light, he would stick out like a sore thumb. But instead of Remus, Sirius’ eyes settled on L/N; film in hand, talking to another student. He was blond, a year above them, large in stature and Sirius recognized him from the Gryffindor tryouts back in September. Aldrich McLaggen.

His face was beat red as he chatted with L/N, his hand toying with the sleeves as he looked her up and down, wearing a flirtatious yet apprehensive grin. The bastard was flirting with her.

Sirius felt himself grip his glass tighter than normal, his free hand bunched into a tight ball while pressing firmly to his side. Neither she nor Sirius spoke, aside from their Puffskein assignment and it was killing him. From the discomfort or wishing they had kissed that night — he didn’t know. But it was tortuously awkward.

“Padfoot,” came a voice. Remus leant against a nearby table as he sipped his drink. No matter how much he seemed to drink, Remus was able to knock back drinks after drinks without it affecting him. Sirius envied that but then the thought passed, eyes settling on L/N.

“Moomy.”

Remus followed Sirius’ eyes, scrutinizing the situation.

“She’s so annoying,” said Sirius. He didn’t even mean to speak, it just slipped out.

Remus’ brow rose. “Talking about this, again? She’s not. L/N’s my friend and I like her.”

Sirius shook his head. “She’s insufferable. Who does she think she is?!”

“... Who?”

“Just look at her!” Sirius exclaimed, using large hand movements. “She acts like she owns the place. Just because she’s new she assumes she’s better than everyone else! And —” Sirius continued to rant but Remus blocked him out, head shaking.

Fucking idoit, Remus thinks. He wants to slap Sirius silly. When will he stop talking about her?

“— taking all of my friends: Prongs, Lily, Marlene, Wormy, you! I was —”

“You sound like a child.”

“— so smart. The Slugclub? All filled with stuffy pricks — except you and Lily — the kicker, I’ve seen her with Regulus! A Slytherin! Come on. That’s just asking for —”

“Padfoot —”

“— don’t understand how —”

“Crikey! Sirius!” Remus scolded. Sirius went quiet, intimidated by him. Remus took a deep inhale, his eyes fluttering shut but asked, “Why do you hate her? Is it because of that fucking rejection because —”

“What?!” Sirius’s voice cuts, loud and booming to the point where several heads swirled to look at him.

Remus looked at them, making hand movements to shoo them off. “Mind your business.”

“Moony, you know me! Come on! Sure, I’m a dick, but I’m not that much of a dick!”

“Then what is it? It can’t just be that she’s annoying.” Of course, Remus was right again. Always so blunt and never failed to be clear-cut.

Remus then tipped back his drink in one go without a flinch and left Sirius’ side. He’d much rather do his prefect duties than listen to him go on about the same conversation for what seemed like the eighth time that week. With Sirius left to sulk, he sighed and looked back to the scene, feeling irrational jealousy bubble up.

L/N laughed at whatever McLaggen said, who leant into her ear. What an obvious bloke.

Maybe it was because of the mix of alcohol that made Sirius place his cup down and stride up to them, but even he knew it wasn’t just the Firewhiskey.

“I’ve always wanted to visit. How was it like living —”

“McLaggen.” Sirius’ voice came out gruff and cold.

Both their heads turned towards him and she sent him a look, telling him to go. But too stubborn, he stayed put.

“Um… Black. Hello,” McLaggen responded. Sirius continued to stand tall, body language closed off, telling him silently to leave.

Tosser. Pillock. Daft bimbo lookin’ arse —

The boy coughed awkwardly and threw L/N a tight-lipped smile. “See you!” She nodded her head, giving a small, friendly wave. “Bye!”

Sirius took his place instantly. “Finally, you said something right for once. He’s a git.”

L/N’s face scrunched up in confusion. She sent daggers his way and he had to stop himself from smirking. “Surprise,” he drawled, hands going up to shake in jazz hands. “You seem happy to see me.”

“Why are you talking to me? People might think we’re friends.”

“Like we were ever just friends.”

Her mouth hung open after registering what he said and Sirius felt like using an unforgivable curse on himself. Did he have to bring it up like that?

Sirius was all over the place with his thoughts. Point blank, he didn’t know what the fuck was happening. He so badly wanted to draw near, to touch her and hear that damn laughter, but did he?

His… very unwelcomed feelings — whatever they were, were beginning to get in the way of his already messy life. Was it the chase that made him feel so electric, the need to dive into someone else to cover up his own problems? Was this him dabbling in his unhealthy behaviours and would this just set him back? Sirius wasn’t sure and he walked a fine line.

Humans, especially those like Sirius, are social beings. Like most people, they craved recognition, approval and constant reassurance from those around them. People want to fit in that desired image but struggle to find happiness — lost in that perceived image they chase. Desired reality… it’s like a mirage. The constant back and forth only drained him and it had been more apparent than ever since the break. That pretty packaged Sirius — was that him subconsciously crawling its way out, making him lose the little progress he’s made by continuing whatever this was? A game, his true feelings or a way to be social, to fill that void settled deep within his chest?

But he doesn’t think so, and that freaked him out even more. What scared him was that he wanted to get to know all the little parts of her, no matter how much he tried to deny it. It felt like a mantra playing in his head, questions about her he wanted answered. But he could never be sure.

L/N remained silent and he cut in, trying to cover up his internal dilemma.

“Now look who’s the quiet one.”

“Be more conceited, will you?”

“Insolent brat.”

She grinds her jaw aggressively, to the point where he swears he can hear bones crunching but she holds back from a snarky comment. His mouth opens, ready to add on before L/N turns around to survey the room. He watches as she looks up to James and back to him and then a small, separate room that’s cut off from the main room. The last thing either wanted was to ruin James’ night or cause a scene. “Follow me.”

Sirius rolls his eyes, teasingly staying back a beat before another Gryffindor girl comes up to him. He’d danced with her earlier. “Pretty boy,” she greets, “Fancy another dance?”

Sirius’ eyes travel to L/N who’s eyes hardened as she stomped back up to him. “Sorry, but pretty boy” her voice dripping in obvious sarcasm, “Has somewhere to be.” Then, she tugged on the hem of his sweater and the action had Sirius’s heart flutter. He let her lead him through the crowd, nearing the room.

“Pretty boy? So you do think I’m pretty?” He smirked, watching her duck her head to prevent him from seeing her reaction.

Out of the entire student body he could’ve had feelings for — feelings he’s never felt before that caused him to go speechless, heart speeding and the urge to inch closer — it had to be her? She never knew how to take a joke either! How James and Remus were so fond of her, he didn’t know.

She shoved him into the small room, casting Muffliato. It was ill-lit, the only source of luminosity were the red lights seeping in the cracks of the door and the small window; twinkling stars shining just enough. The mixture of lights made her look alluring.

“What do you want?” Her voice is passive-aggressive.

You, he reckons. Or maybe a permanent silencing charm to never have to hear her speak again. Either seemed great.

Her eyes rolled, impatient as he remained silent. “Could you be anymore… confusing? You’re hot and cold! First, you’re nice to me, then mean. Then come up to me, ruin my conversation with Aldrich and now you’re silent.”

“Fine. I don’t want to be here with you, happy?”

“Like you didn’t start this.”

“It’s not my fault you’re infuriating, constantly running your mouth.”

She takes a deep breath, her hands rubbing her face and let’s out a frustrated groan. Her eyes snap back open, “I hate you.” The silence was loud.

Sirius felt himself freeze, eyes turning half-lidded as he took a few steps towards her. She backed up, sliver of a smile there. His chest rose, breathing deeply, “Say that again.”

L/N looked up at him with those eyes he swore looked right through him. Simply being that close made him feel as if he ran a marathon. Then, a wicked, yet timid grin worms its way on her face. Their soft breaths were tense, like if either were too loud, everything would come crashing down.

She repeats. “I hate —”

She doesn’t finish her statement as Sirius pressed himself against her, pushing her back but snakes a hand to prevent her head from hitting the jagged wall.

His voice was low. “Are you sure you want to say that again?”

Her breath hitches. He grins. She swallows. “I. Hate. Y—”

Each syllable was hushed as Sirius pressed his lips onto hers, gentle, sweet and hesitant, contradicting compared to their banter.

When the initial shock wore off, he felt Y/N respond to the kiss, deepening it. Her lips parted and Sirius slid his tongue inside. She was a bit clumsy, hesitant but eager. Sirius smirked at her. Everything felt startling, incredible and better than what Sirius imagined it to ever be like. He felt like a firecracker, a warm feeling spreading through his veins like fire.

She’s soft, incredibly so. His free hand went to roam around before settling on the base of her back, stroking the soft skin up and down. Her hand is threaded through his hair just hard enough that he has to bite back a groan. Her other hand is pressed firmly onto his chest and god — she feels so good.

To Y/N, Sirius tastes like what you think he would taste like. He tastes expensive, smells really good and his kisses are a lot softer than she expected — the very opposite of him: energetic, rough, messy and wild. Instead it’s delicate, sweet and velvety.

She’s the first to pull back and Sirius can’t help but move his head to try and catch her lips but settles on pressing his forehead against hers.

Their soft pants fill the air and Sirius feels like screaming. His skin is boiling and she looks beyond enthralling. Their eyes locked and her eyes washed over him with such an intensity that it could rival any ocean wave.

Neither spoke, just trying to process what happened, letting their eyes run wild before she tucks a fallen strand of hair behind Sirius’ ear. The action, so small and fairly insignificant, made something so bubbly flare in his chest.

Both of their pupils are blown wide and this time, she’s the one to lean in first; with a series of soft peaks before Sirius prolongs it. Both his hands are now on her face, tilting her head up before one goes to graze her neck.

There wasn’t a sinking or horrible feeling in his chest that made him feel used or worthless and he took that as a good sign to continue.

This time, it’s faster, rough and passionate and Sirius leads, his hips pressed against her, caging her against the wall. Her hand then went to embrace Sirius, her nails scratching down his back and he involuntarily slipped out a soft groan into her lips.

Merlin… she’s more intoxicating than any brand of alcohol he’s ever drunk.

Eventually, they simultaneously pulled away, using whatever sense they had left and Sirius was left feeling high and shaky. Y/N looked away first, Sirius continuing to stare wide-eyed.

“Um — w-we should — ugh — get going —”

“— Right, I was just about to…”

Sirius backed up, letting Y/N free as she went to sit on a nearby chair. Sirius ran a hand through his hair and stumbled back into the party. He exhaled deeply, fingers outlining his lips in shock.

He must be mad — blood fucking mad! They’re both equally mad!

God, he must be blushing like a damn fool and certainly, he’s not going to be able to sleep tonight. Blimey…

Once James saw him, he pointed and made a B-line, strutting over, his hips exaggerating until he swung an arm around him.

“Siriusss! You’re my best friend!” James ruffled his hair, “Did you know that? Merlin — you light up my world.”

Sirius felt himself smile, but he’s still not fully there. His mind thinks back to her touch: soft and fleeting and god does he crave more and — what is she thinking?

“In love with me? You’re going to have to get in line.”

“Love with all m’friends… Moony… Wormtail — Whiskersss.” James slurred his words slightly and went on a tangent but Sirius’ eye remained on the door, waiting for her to come back.

She’s taking an awfully long time. Fuck, did he push it?

“Mate — earth to Padfoot?” James says, this time knocking his fist on his head like a door. “SIRIUS! Yoo-hoo! In there?”

“Yeah — sorry. A lot’s on my mind.”

James studied him, looking a lot more sober than he did just seconds ago as he went to fix his glasses and said seriously, “Is it… the nightmares again? We can go and talk about it?”

This caught his attention. Ever since Valentine's, he’s been talking to James about them — or at least mentioning bits and pieces which helped a lot more than he expected. “What? No, no it’s not that.”

“But if it is, you’ll tell me, right?”

Sirius has to stop himself from snorting, but it’s all too endearing. “Of course — I’ve only gotten them two times this week.”

Prongs grins like a mad man, throwing his fist in the air. “That’s one down! Amazing! You are amazing.”

And then he hears the door click open and it’s her. She sent him a small smile, barely there but Sirius felt his heart swell. Marlene bounced up to her, pulling her into a dance along with Mary. He watched as her head tipped back with a smile so dazzling and he felt his skin turn fuzzy again.

She got under his skin like nobody else and he’s starting to love it.

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