#d. evanurisx

[harellanx]

closed starter for @evanurisx location: evanuris' quarters note: oi ma'am u me mom???

"Praise Lloth." He did an exaggerated bow as he stepped through the door. Checking in with Ayi'ig always required several steps. First, he would see the queen. After that, well, he just made his rounds. Belonging had never been something Harellan felt outside of the court so he more than appreciated the queen's entrance into his life. His father was probably rolling in his grave right now about it. The man had spent millennia escaping the Underdark only for his son to end up within Ayi'ig's clutches. The truth was that the hollowborn hadn't felt that he was worth anything because of how Ranaghar had raised him. Hidden away, not knowing what he was truly capable of. Ayi'ig had unlocked that part of him and his father's death became a thing of the past. That was all so boring to think of though. His own mind was of no interest to him. Everyone else's though? He found that putting even the smallest thought in their head held more power than he could ever dream of. He wouldn't do such a thing to Evanuris though. "Looking as beautiful as ever, I see. Preparations all in order?"

[harellanx]

The question of who he should be was probably more difficult to answer than he could've ever anticipated. However, Evanuris always did have a way with words. She was ancient. She never spoke without intent. Perhaps that was why he hung onto her words so vehemently. Everything she ever said meant something to him. Not because she was simply saying it though. No, it was because she spoke to him as if he was no mere monster. People had feared him for seeing who he really was. He'd held onto that anger for decades upon decades, centuries upon centuries. Every time he closed his eyes, he could see that look on their faces because, to them, that was all Harellan ever could be. He'd been so reluctant to accept that he was a monster. He wanted to be anything but what they had made of him. However, when Evanuris looked into his eyes and spoke words so fiercely, he couldn't help but think that he was supposed to be that monster. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing.

That was what the most powerful person in the world looked like to him. It was someone who could accept the fact that they were a monster. It was someone that did not care what others thought of them. It was someone like Evanuris. It was someone like the person she saw in him. His gaze fixed on her own as she spoke and stayed there well after she was done. Another breath fell from his lips as he lifted his hands to her own. "Bel'la dos."

Nurture opposed the nature of her sisters, but Evanuris had a soft spoke for the broken things of this world. The discarded and the disregarded, she wondered if Ayi'ig knew what she had with this one, or if she'd woefully underestimated him. Drow were born into their graces, their fates determined by how their ambition paired with their intellect and talents. It was not Evanuris' intent to soothe Harellan but to reforge him; if one happened to be a byproduct of the other, that could hardly be helped.

"Envision the most powerful person in the world." Evanuris tilted Harellan's chin to lift his gaze from his hands and fix it upon her instead as she spoke, "What does he look like? How does he behave?" She thought about how the hollowborn had suffered and lost, how the nature of all immortals seemed to be put through agony after agony until their shapes were definitively similar. "What will it take to become him. What you do to achieve your goals defines you, your worth, and how this world will come to perceive you. Decide what you want, and don't let anything stand in your way."

[prosperox]

"That's one hell of a way of putting it." Prospero couldn't remember the last time he'd used his magic without feeling the effects of it soon after. It always felt like he was a second away from losing what little of his own mind he had left. And that could only be a bad thing for him. The last thing he ever wanted was to become everything his mother had tried to shield him from. That wasn't what this conversation was about though. This woman was here for some reason and he would have liked to know why. Other than the obvious curiosity about his so-called gift. "You're right. I don't." His head tilted. "If you wanted to kill me, you would have already. Unless you like to play with your food before you eat it. I'm fine with that, too," he stated as a corner of his mouth curled up in a smirk. "Prospero. And you?"

"Anything worth having comes with its share of risks." That was the price of all power and the root of the folly with so many of these demigods, they were plagued and burdened by the breadth of what they could do. She wondered what risk hung over this one's head. Evanuris hadn't asked her question yet, not entirely, instead she paced a fair way and took in the surprisingly comfortable setting that the demigod had set in an otherwise dilapidated building. She'd only entered because she'd felt the press of magic coming from within, on the outside the warehouse hadn't been much to look at, but the demigod himself was both handsome and powerful. "You don't seem to take much issue with my intrusion," Evanuris remained standing, at least for now. "but I'd hear your name first, if you care to share it with me."

[inquisitcr]

Leave it to Evanuris to go on and on about Lloth's blessing and shit. He would've rolled his eyes, but he instead let out a sigh. All she would keep doing is asking of everything he was working on and he really didn't feel the need to answer the question. Ayi'ig was who he had been loyal to and would be loyal to. If she had been the one to come to him with this question, perhaps he would have given an actual answer. Instead, he turned to her again, a brow lifted. "They are being prepared, Handmaiden. I don't just have rats at my disposal and it is best if I do not just hand out every secret I have to anyone who will listen or ask."

How Ayi'ig was managing when she was surrounded by such incompetent, unwarranted arrogance was beyond her. The artificer was playing with toys while their empire faced far more significant troubles, treachery lurked around every corner and this insolent whelp of filth quite clearly did not know his place. "It is by Lloth's great blessing that you have any work to be done at all, that someone so lowborn has risen so high at all." Blessings that could very easily be revoked, "The rest. Inquisitor, where are they? You brought rats to fight the soratami, where are the others?"

[harellanx]

A wicked smile came upon his lips at her words. He was just further reminded why he did so love her presence. Evanuris was certainly a treasure for Lloth to have at her beck and call. Maybe he should've been kissing the ground she walked upon, but he hadn't even done such a thing for Ayi'ig. The queen had taken him in when he needed him most, but she only guided him towards what benefited her most. The drider had made that very much clear to him. Now it was time for him to take matters into his own hands. Once he had finished what needed to be done within that wretched little halfblood house, then he'd be free to do whatever he pleased. Harellan didn't much care for how he accomplished it, just that it happened. It wasn't like he was on borrowed time. He had plenty of life left before he lost his mind. Bowing his body forward exaggeratedly, the hollowborn stepped backwards towards the door. "Lloth tlu laoles; jal ultrinnan zhah ilta xundus."

END.

The hollowborn still had a great deal to learn, he was half of the light and half of the dark and yet was neither all at once. It was true, the demigod could be anything, he could go anywhere, and while Lloth favoured the drow and her Handmaidens above all others she approved of those willing to convert and commit acts in her name. Blind faith did not serve anyone though, Lloth was not the sort of Goddess you went to with your hand out, she approached when your back was turned and guided your blade through the ribcage of your enemy. "Oh Harellan," she stepped in closer, "absolutely not." Evanuris looked towards the door, she'd been otherwise preoccupied when he arrived, "Now, if there's nothing further, you were interrupting."

[harellanx]

Only the strong survive. Well, that much Harellan knew better than most. Of course there were people that had suffered. Everyone in the world had to an extent. It was just a matter of how long they had suffered. The hollowborn had seen hate in its purest form. Rejection for who he was when he hadn't even really known what he could be. His father had never explained it to him and he was pretty sure the old man would have been content to do so for the rest of their eternal lives. What would Harellan have become then? Who would he have been if he had not been caught that night? If his father had not been lost to him because of that hate? Maybe, in some degree, he was looking for vengeance for that. Then there was a much bigger part of him that didn't think it was worth his time. Ranaghar was weak. Harellan would not be. "And should I not trust you, Handmaiden?" It was rhetorical. The demigod knew not to trust anyone in this life or any others. He never had and he didn't think he would start now.

A man without a house was hardly that, the matron mother Nyloth would find use for him, and if he was clever then he could find opportunity within. A Handmaiden had no house, they never married, and they bore no children: Lloth was their entire world, their lives revolved around the Abyss. "Nilodi orhastho shiorell e farul." Weakness is the spawn of contentment and affection. Never become content or happy with your position, Harellan had that much right, but before Lloth all were weak. "Resilsh nielquosthos nilt resilsh," Help freely offered is not free. "su lidos verith." Only the strong survive. Time would tell if Harellan found himself drawn into this altercation, if he withheld then there was every chance that Ayi'ig would punish him, if he was discovered then perhaps the senate would go so far as to put him to death. Evanuris' faith was in Lloth, not the exploits of a man. "Trust no one more than yourself." The Weaver dealt in secrets and hidden missives, victory was her doing but she favoured the successful and the duplicitous. It was fine to play both sides, but if you were caught before your blade slipped into someone's back, or worse - there were witnesses, then there was no shame that could be greater.

[harellanx]

Ayi'ig had been the only one really privy to what had transpired within his life. Harellan hadn't brought it up to anyone else, hadn't spoken his father's name in several years. It was a time in his life that he always would've preferred to forgot, but then he always wanted to remember it, too. Having this home with the drow was something of a godsend to him. When he had needed it most, the queen of the drow had been there to guide him on the right path. What would he have become otherwise? A creature hellbent on vengeance never survived. He could've killed that whole village if he wanted to. He could've gone back and done to them just as they had done to his father. Except he hadn't because he'd been called here. Purpose. Praise. Confidence. All things that he had been given in a dream. However, as Evanuris had spoken, it was true that his will was not his own. It was tethered to whatever the drow queen wanted of him. He looked on at the Handmaiden, looked on at Lloth's will beneath those eyes. "I wish to be free from the will other's place upon me. I am not my own and I never have been." He'd always been told what to do, who to be. His shoulders lifted in a shrug. "I will follow through on this mission because it is my duty. It is what I have been asked to do." A hint of a smile gathered upon his features. "I ask that Lloth guide me if I may not guide myself."

The hollowborns were an affront to the order of the drow, but their ultimate corruption was a boon to Lloth's cunning and manipulations. They were vessels but The Weaver had few allies among the Gods and as far as the denizens of the Demonweb Pits were concerned those that salivated over these vessels were better off left where they were. All drow saw all other life as lesser until proven otherwise, it was only natural that Ayi'ig treated the boy like a pawn, albeit a useful one, what he needed was direction and the freedom to see his own ambitions come to light. That would be the instruction of a proper Llothite, not one who would waste every last life of the drow attempting to outdo her sister. It was her hope that Harellan chose his next words carefully, she liked him, but there was much that waited in the dark. Evanuris had assumed that Harellan had sought her out for a reason, perhaps this would be it. "Go on, we're both listening."

[harellanx]

A bartering chip. If he was an idiot, maybe he wouldn't have given her words a second thought. Harellan had seen a lot in his life though. He wasn't as old as a lot of the people that roamed this court, but he had seen how they operated. It was the reason he fit in here. It was always every person for themselves. He'd learned that well before Ayi'ig had wormed her way into his dreams, but the drow queen had only whispered in his ear of everything he could be capable of if he so desired. He'd not be swayed so easily even if Evanuris' intentions were clear. The Handmaiden's loyalty was to Lloth first and foremost. Harellan was no drow though. Well, technically he was half one, but their traditions were ones he had been directed away from for his entire life. He guessed that was to be expected from a man that had been brought up in a matriarchal society. Perhaps Harellan would've been different if he'd merely been a drow, but thinking on what could've been was beneath him. He'd focus on what he was capable of now. Evanuris had spoken plainly and her words filtered through his mind and played over and over again. "Talk about speaking plainly." There was a pause as he looked around the quarters. "I'll speak plainly, too. If you'll listen? May it never leave you or Lloth's ear."

Men and their arrogance never failed to amaze her, Lloth's chosen didn't fall so easily to the whims of anyone, Harellan's fate could very well fall in line with the Mars vampire who'd unexpectedly found his own compulsion turned against him. "Only this: giving them your blood benefits them and satisfies the Queen's bargain, it does not benefit you. She weighed your value and used you as a bartering chip." Evanuris did not take him for a fool, but he was young and loyal. Loyalty was only valuable though until it got you killed, Lloth prized ambition over the indebted. "There is a difference between being loyal to a Queen and being loyal to a Goddess, and there are many paths to walk through the night." That was about as plain as Evanuris ever spoke, she respected Ayi'ig and she did hope that her campaign was a fruitful one. And yet, all victory was Lloth's doing, not her's.

[harellanx]

"Well, I know you do more than just that." He tapped a finger to his temple, a small smile on his lips. If he wanted to, he could know everything about her. Hell, he could change her thoughts of herself even. Harellan knew what overuse of his power would do though. As much as his past had been vile and full of tragedy, it had shaped him and made him who he was now. He'd never want to lose that and he certainly wouldn't want to forget his father. Regardless of how the man had forced him into hiding his entire life. Somehow, everything came back to his father. He wondered if Evanuris had ever met the man. Ranaghar had been alive for quite some time. As a drow, at least. "The Asphodel are a means to an end. Nothing more, nothing less." He eyed Evanuris for a moment. "You have something to say. Wouldn't you prefer to speak plainly?"

The Handmaiden turned from the hollowborn as she wandered towards the altar, her hand moved across the roughness of the stone, his question wasn't without some humour to it. "Is that what you think I do all day, sargtlin?" Evanuris asked, as she looked back towards the other from over her shoulder, the sweet warrior hidden among the flock: a lion among sheep. She understood something of what that was like. Lloth's will was growing, The Weaver was hungry, and while it was impossible to see the extent of her web by only grasping a few strands, Evanuris did hope that Harellan understood they were only just beginning. "And giving the Asphodel your blood benefits you?" Evanuris asked, "Yes, I know." Ayi'ig bartered and traded him like meat, but he could be so much more.

[harellanx]

Feel. She had told him to feel everything and yet he didn't want to feel anything. Harellan had spent part of his life hiding away so much that he hadn't even known who he was. His father had made sure of that. It had felt like a good thing at the time. Until it didn't. If he had to hide who he was, how was he supposed to know who he should be? How was he supposed to know what to feel? Ranaghar had died right in front of him. Harellan had pushed that grief far down w ithin himself to where he wasn't sure if he felt it at all. Ayi'ig had been found dead and the grief found its way creeping back up within himself. What had pushed him completely over the edge was the fact that he had taken Viktor's pain and suffering and grief from him so that it would be his own. Maybe that had been too much to carry though. He'd never say as much out loud. He'd bare it all and keep it bottled within himself until there was nothing more he could do. Until then? He would do as she said. Let it all in and let it burn him alive. His eyes closed as he took in a breath. Let it carve away the parts that do not serve me. As he let out the breath he had been holding, it came out as labored as he had expected it to. Her hand on his cheek, he took another shaky breath, exhaling again soon after.

And then there was silence. In his head. In the air around him. Everything just went quiet. As he backed away from Evanuris, his gaze pinged around the room looking for anything to get the sound back in his head. As soon as he thought it, he crumbled to his knees, hands gripping his head as everything flooded into his head at once. Every feeling that he had ever felt was at the forefront of his mind. Yet nothing was more potent than the grief that had been within him for so long. A scream fell from his lips and into the ears of anyone in the vicinity before the shadowed version of himself took over and took the grief in its hands. Harellan looked up towards Evanuris before his shadowed form fell to the ground.

It was so true that in life there was a right answer and a wrong answer, things were hardly ever so black and white though. If the choice between good and evil was marked clearly for all to see then the world would unilaterally be filled with good people making the good choices. As it happened they were all cast to wade through shades of gray, once, long ago, Evanuris had been a simple girl in service to a very powerful woman. One who dreamt of a world built upon equality rather than the backs of others; a million decisions stood between then and now, countless lives, Evanuris' needle and thread. Weaver and Handmaiden hand in hand. "Dear boy," Evanuris placed a hand upon his cheek, lightly. "feel everything." That was the advice she could offer him, "all that pain, grief, hatred; let it all in, let it carve away the parts that do not serve you. Let it burn you alive if need be, I promise that when the pain is done you will know what it is you want to do, and all that will remain is how you intend to get there." That was ambition at its core. "Sit with yourself for a while, it will come."

[harellanx]

Contempt. He wasn't sure how long these thoughts in his head would keep playing with him. Harellan was so used to being inside other people's heads that he barely had time inside of his own. Maybe that was why his thoughts felt so confused. Evanuris' words circulated around his head for a bit, several moments passing before he could even formulate some sort of response. "I don't know what you would like me to say." He was pretty sure that was the first time he had ever been at a loss for what to say. The hollowborn usually spoke even when there was dead air between him and the person he was speaking to. Right now though? He was at a loss for what he was supposed to say or do or even think. "My mind is...a mess. If I knew what to feel, I would be feeling it."

While it was entirely possible for Evanuris to conceive a multitude of fates that were far worse, losing control of one's own body was among the things that she would have detested most. "You must hold some contempt for what was done to you." Seemed everyone had an axe to grind with some God these days, the forces that Harellan had contended with weren't alone in that. At the very least Evanuris would have taken into consideration that the crime itself wasn't personal, however sloppily carried out, that had to be the most unforgivable facet of it all. To come so close to completion, to be on the brink of fulfilling their greatest wants and desires - then floundering at the end. Evanuris wasn't sure which would be more grating, to have her body taken from her or to know that it had been taken by a failure.

[harellanx]

Harellan was, for lack of a better word, lost. There wasn't really a lot that kept him going other than his own self-interest. His loyalty to those within the court of drow was because of necessity. Nobody there really had anyone's back at the end of the day. And he hadn't ever expected them to. He always knew that Evanuris was not one he could fully trust. Her loyalty was to Lloth first. Harellan didn't know what it was like to be that way towards anyone. He loved Ayi'ig, but she was no longer here. He loved his father, but the man was no longer here. The people he loved were always gone and the feeling that came with them were just as he was. Lost. Feelings and memories were barely his own, that much he coped with on a daily basis. However, as she spoke, he listened to make sure he would remember. No matter what became of him after. "Hm, thanks. I appreciate that you think so highly of me. Especially given that I am a man." The last thing he wanted to do was disappoint her. He wasn't sure why that was the case, but it was and he was okay with it. "It was as to be expected. You watch someone controlling your body through your own eyes. It's like I wasn't even there." That was how he felt often though. Just a visitor within his own very perfect body. Tragic that something he would have called a gift could be such a curse.

While the court was changing and adapting, they'd all have to learn to adapt with it. The world of the drow was always kill or be killed and that would never change. They value strength, determination, and ambition above all else. "You're capable." For a man. "Bright." For a man. "I've no doubt you'll make use of both." Evanuris considered Harellan for a moment, all that he had endured when the Great Old Ones had descended upon this realm. To lose your body to another had to be... Uncomfortable, to say the least. "You were in my thoughts after I departed for the Demonweb Pitts." Lloth's realm within the Abyss, "What was it like?"

[inquisitcr]

Somniar knew what kind of game he was playing with this Elder Brain. He knew how easy it would be for the ilithids to strike back if they so desired. The Elder Brain was under his control right now though and he would make damn sure that something like that never happened. If it did, he would drag himself back to the streets himself. Maybe Evanuris would get a good laugh out of it. She had clearly come in here to just tell him information he'd already made himself privy to and to tell him what he was already working on. Was there a feminine version of mansplaining? He didn't entertain her with a response to her question as he looked away and back towards the Elder Brain. "You're interrupting my work. Was there something you needed?"

Idly Evanuris wondered if they were successful in this endeavour, not that it mattered, every one of these cretins could go extinct and the Handmaiden wouldn't bat an eye. They were dangerous, but none more than Somniar would recognize that. Powerful psionic magic could disrupt an ilithids connection to the Elder Brain, freeing them. That would be trouble. "It would be a start." Noncommittally as she took in the chamber with flagrant disinterest, it even smelled vile. She wondered if Somniar felt some comfort among these rodents, considering his upbringing Evanusir supposed he'd feel right at home. A found family amidst the flea bitten and diseased. "The rest, Inquisitor. Or have you spent all your time in here playing with rats and fey?"

[harellanx]

This war wasn't particularly his either, but he was nothing if not helpful to those that had helped him. Well, to a degree. Really, if there was someone Harellan was loyal to, it was going to be Ayi'ig. She had come to him in his dreams, had made him aware of just how powerful he could be. He was a demigod, a hollowborn. That didn't come without its own problems though so he was always making sure that some god didn't start whispering in his ear begging to be let in. Weren't they always knocking though? Harellan couldn't let them in. He wouldn't. That was something he'd worry about later though. "I doubt you will simply be in here praying throughout the whole ordeal though, vallabha." Evanuris was very much capable, but she was a servant of Lloth. Deadly was the spider when nobody saw it coming. "I play the part that benefits me most. As I have always done. As we all should do."

"Inorum lo’athi, uvrastes, Harellan." In darkness there is opportunity, Harellan. A typical greeting for Lloth's most devout. She eyed Harellan on his rise, the halfblooded creature was a myriad of the dark and the light; an abomination, but useful one. The drow had uses for monsters and beasts, this one came willingly. Demigods were both rare and dangerous, the mixture of drow blood did not blend easily with the elves that walked under the light of the sun. "I won't be fighting, this war is-" to say it was beneath her sounded like a disservice to the temple stones she stood upon. "not mine." Nyloth had sworn herself to it, but the Matron Mother still believed that Ayi'ig was the one true Queen of the drow: it was Lloth they served, not her. Too many in this court had forgotten that, an offence that would have an answer. "Tell me, Harellan, what part will you play in all of this?"

[prosperox]

A benefactor. Prospero damn well wished he had one. Maybe that would help him figure out how to fix his own mind. The tiefling had learned a long time ago how to use his ability on his own. He'd had no choice in the matter because he had a vendetta at the time that he wouldn't let go of. Once he'd handled that, it was hard for him to stop. Minor inconveniences felt like major ones and major inconveniences felt astronomical. It was better when he used the fire manipulation. It was less likely to mess with him, but he thought he was perfectly fine really. He was still aware enough for now so he'd take what he could get. Still, that didn't mean there weren't people that weren't going to ask. Including the woman standing before him now. He'd been in a warehouse that he had turned into a home when she showed up. Definitely beautiful which meant he'd give her any answer she wanted. As she pulled the flame from him, he dropped down onto his couch, one arm resting on the back of it as he eyed her. "Not me is correct." His head tilted momentarily, a corner of his mouth lifting into a smirk. "You have a question, I'm sure."

@prosperox location: utp notes: propro (but shady)

"It's very interesting," Evanuris commented, she'd become somewhat interested in the demigods of the realms as of late. These vessels had proven themselves to be a threat when in the wrong hands, the last thing she wished to see was more of the grating divinity that had walked this world for a time, returning. "your ability, I mean." She'd conjured an ethereal violet flame, it was cold like ice but still felt hot to the touch. The beginning of a curse that Evanuris was manifesting through willpower alone. Mimicry was among the drider's gifts, all it had taken was for their eyes to meet before the daemon held his power in her own hands. Like something catching prey in her sights, Evanuris pressed forward as she closed her hand and extinguished the curse before it began. "Most require a benefactor for such things, but not you." Necromancers had their God, the drow had theirs, even the witches of this realm had theirs.

[harellanx]

A strange feeling had went through Harellan at the news that Ayi'ig was gone. He wasn't ever sure if the care she showed to him was genuine or not, but he'd latched onto her all the same. It was a weakness of his that his father had given to him, one that he wished he didn't have. It was why he tried so hard to get rid of that memory of his father. With that memory gone, he'd be able to focus on the things that mattered. And the things that mattered were his own interests and only that. Why he'd ended up here though was a mystery. With Ayi'ig gone, maybe he'd decided to try and latch onto someone else. That simply wouldn't do, but Evanuris had given him reason to speak to her. He was sure she thought him weak though. He'd have to fix that and that started with making his own decisions. He turned to her as she spoke, shoulders lifting in a shrug. "I'm figuring it out." He eyed her for a moment. Then a flash of some memories that weren't his own flitted through his mind. They had seemed like they were his, but they weren't. Sometimes a gift was a curse. "Um..." He shook his head, eyes closing for a moment to refocus. "Those halfbloods still trust me. I'll make use of that."

@harellanx location: Llothite Temple, Roman Catacombs notes: a mother

The location had been up in the air for some time, but the dark called to the drow like moths were drawns towards flames. Harellan stood in the midst of the sanctum, though she was surprised to find him here, she couldn't say it was entirely shocking given recent events. By the standards of this realm the drow did not make astounding parents, though Evanuris would argue differently. These surfacers were bred for weakness, coddled and doted on; familial attachments created leverage and there was nothing worse than having something that could be used against you. Something soft and pink, that broke apart with something so simple like a blade. "Well, Ayi'ig is dead." The spell over the drow Queen's name was broken now, she was to be given the proper rites soon enough, but for now she rest in a crypt below what was once her palace. "What will you do now?"