#defeated by the box of tissues geez...

[batri-jopa]

I've read somewhere that one of the easiest and most effective ways to learn new language vocabulary is put labels on objects around you. My thoughts: cool, let's try it! What could possibly go wrong?

I started up with the computer:

ლეპტოპი - phh, obvious

მონიტორი - even more obvious

კლავიატურა - no way, that's just like in Polish!

Encouraged by this I turned to the lamp and the mug:

ნათურა - kind of funny thus easy to remember

ჭიქა - not so obvious anymore but still managable

So far so good, I say looking around me, what's next? A box of tissues maybe?

Now that's something that I can't read out loud for dear life😑

Class dismissed

[kamilah-the-bloodqueen]

Remember Me (3/??)

So it’s been quite some time since I looked at this series, and I apologize for such a long hiatus but it’s back (Someone reached out to me asking when part 3 would be out so I moved it forward in my WIP queue! Basically Amy starts out with Adrian, and it’s perfect but one day Amy gets into a car accident and doesn’t come out the same. Her memories from the past 5 years of her life - and that includes all the events from BB1 (just roll with it). Just a FYI I will NOT be rewriting the first 2 parts, you’ll just have to deal with the shitty writing for the whole series. Honeymoon is the current WIP I’m working on, followed by a f!Blaine x MC angst one-shot, the cafe part 2 and then the first chapter of my university AU. Please be patient with me, I am under a lot of academic stress but I promise these will be finished. 

Pairing: Adrian x MC x Kamilah (It’s not romantic - just a description...for now)

Warnings: This series does include a serious injury, amnesia

Word Count: 2753 

Tags: (Since it’s been so long if you’d like to be removed just lmk - that being said if you’d like to be added to the tag please let me know) @a-raines @bloodboundstuff f @kamilahtopme

Part One    Part Two 

Amy’s eyes fluttered open, Adrian slouched in the chair beside her, sound asleep she sighed softly, her side sore and tighter than usual as she watched Adrian shift in his gentle slumber. Amy squinted as she tried to recall her memories, frowning as she attempted to make herself more comfortable in the bed. Adrian slowly moved, rubbing his eyes and smiling at Amy as he stood to make two cups of coffee.

“Good Morning Amy…” He spoke softly, lovingly. It almost felt familiar to Amy, something about the way he said it resonated with her. She flashed a smile at him, her eyes lighting up as he brought her a cup of coffee, perfectly made the way she always liked it. 

Adrian is very sweet, I could see how I would have fallen for him. His heart is made of gold, and he is the cinnamon roll that Lily said he was and...and I’m breaking his heart...me...Amy, just a regular girl...I’m breaking his heart because I don’t remember anything...oh...

Amy felt her heart break just a little - she couldn’t force herself to love Adrian and he certainly didn’t deserve this pain, but the spark between them was extinguished in that accident. Amy drew a deep breath, catching the scent of the cooled coffee cup in her hands, she shakily held it to her lips, spilling a small amount on her lap as Adrian rushed to grab napkins. He gently placed them down, patting the sheet dry as Amy felt her heart skip a beat. She let out a breath as Adrian sat down, slowly drinking his own coffee. 

“Thank you Adrian, you’re a good friend.” Amy spoke softly, barely a whisper as Adrian grinned, his eyes sparkling in the dimly lit room. He paused before sipping his coffee, his heart dropping as he replayed Amy’s words silently. 

Good friend. Good friend. Over and over again. Good friend. She doesn’t love me anymore, is there any chance she’ll come back to me? 

“Adrian? Are you alright?” Amy tapped him on the shoulder, a concerned look written on her face as Adrian nodded slowly. 

“Yes, my apologies, I just...need a moment. I’ll be right back.” Adrian stood quickly, nearly sprinting out the door as Amy tilted her head in confusion. Adrian shut the door, leaning his whole body against it as he let a tear fall from his eyes. He pulled his phone out, immediately opening his camera roll as he replayed forgotten memories- memories Amy had promised to never forget. He slid down the door, his legs losing strength as he dove deeper into the past she had forgotten. He pulled out a small package of tissues, quickly replacing them with his sleeves as tears flooded his face and the floor. He choked as he stumbled upon a picture of them together in the moonlight, Amy smiling on his back as he had carried her through Central Park that night. He watched videos of Amy dancing, singing and saying ‘I love you’ to him, all recent. He rested his head against the door, looking into the lights as he clenched his jaw, reaching into his pocket to pull out the engagement ring that had lost all of its purpose. 

“Amy...goddammit Amy...I should have been with you that night...I should have driven you myself.” He stood back up, adjusting his suit and tie and wiping his face clear, re-entering the room as Amy sat quietly, gazing out the window. 

“Is something wrong Adrian?” Amy turned to him with that always curious look in her eyes, he took a quiet seat next to her before smiling. 

“No, but I have something to tell you.” Amy pursed her lips as Adrian pulled the velvet box from his pocket, gently handing it to her and letting her open it. She gasped and closed the box before handing it back to Adrian as he smiled, a tear slowly flowing down his face. “I was going to propose to you that night…before the accident happened...” 

“Adrian…I...I’m sorry…” Amy interrupted, Adrian holding the box tightly as he forced a smile. 

“It’s okay Amy. It’s not your fault…” His voice was calming but Amy could sense the broken in him, she could see the heartbreak in his posture and his face. 

“I...I just don’t...I don’t feel that way anymore...I’m sorry…I...those memories...I don’t...” Amy cried softly, Adrian placing a gentle hand over hers as he closed the box, placing it back in his jacket. 

“Don’t worry about it, our relationship is probably one of the last of your worries. I just thought you should know. I am sorry if I crossed a line Amy...I...I love-” Adrian clenched his jaw, Amy brows furrowing as she averted his broken gaze, “I have to go to my office, but...I’ll be back to visit you either tonight or tomorrow. Get some rest Amy.” He stood, his shoulders slumping in defeat as he found the strength to compose himself before he walked out of the hospital room. 

Amy stared out the window, her eyes welling with tears as she tried to comprehend the situation, to be empathic to Adrian and to herself. Amy got so lost in the web of thoughts and worries that she didn’t even notice Lily open the door.

“Hey Ames.” Lily slowly shut the door, a cheeky smile on her face as she laid a collection of electronics in front of Amy. Amy’s eyes fell on the nintendo switch as Lily beamed with excitement, Lily setting up her laptop so Amy could see the screen.

“I thought you could use some fun today, I bought movies and some video games.” Amy’s eyes crinkled at Lily, before using her one hand to pick up one of the switch controls. Lily took the other control in her hands as she started mario kart, adjusting the controls so it would be a fair game. 

“Thank you Lily...now I’m going to blow smoke up your ass.” The beeping to start the race went off as Amy gassed her bike, Lily gasping as she took off too. Amy laughed, throwing a red shell and taking first place as Lily slowly made her way up from 12th to 2nd. 

“I’m right on your ass now Amy.” Lily hit the buttons more aggressively as Amy laughed, leaving a banana and screwing Lily’s position up.

“Fuck!” Lily set the remote down as Amy crossed the finish line, taking first place. “I see you haven’t lost your touch.” Lily laughed as she set up the next race.

“No. Never. Luckily I still reign champion when it comes to Mario Kart.” Amy nodded her head in pride before they played another race, and another. They lost track of time, Lily’s alarm pulling them from their entertainment as Lily looked at Amy, feeling as if she had her best friend back once more. Amy caught Lily’s gaze, both of them happier today than they had both been in the past few days. A soft knock on the door pulled them both out of their moment, Jax’s soothing voice ringing from the other side as he slid the door open slowly. 

“Jax!” Amy’s voice squeaked as Jax put a hand over his heart.

“You guys are racing without me….I’m wounded...having a stroke…” The room filled with laughter as Jax took a switch remote and sat next to Amy on the other side. “Now I’ll have to whoop both of you for leaving me out!” Jax smirked as Lily adjusted her glasses. 

“Oh it’s on!” Lily cracked her knuckles as Amy laughed, raising a brow at both of them as the countdown began. 

“I’m injured, my memory is missing and yet I’m still going to wreck both of you!” Amy tapped her fingers against the controller as the race started, all three of them battling for first place with red shells and bananas. 

“I’ve got it! Oh! ....Fuck!” Amy screamed as a NPC threw a red shell and took first place. All three of them gasping and laughing at their loss to a NPC, Lily exiting to the home screen as Jax and Amy handed her the remotes.

“Geeze. Don’t let Kamilah know I got smoked this badly...” Jax rubbed the back of his neck as Lily took the remotes, put them in her bag and plugged the switch in for a charge. Jax fiddled with his hands as Lily sat back down, asking Amy if she needed anything. 

“I can’t believe we lost to an NPC...this is the end of my career.” Jax chuckled under his breath as Amy rolled her eyes before laughing too. Jax relaxed back into his chair as Amy shut her eyes gently, Lily brewing the group some tea after all of the excitement. 

“Hey Jax...Lily can I ask?” Amy mumbled softly, Lily turning to face her as Jax lifted his head up.

“Of course.” Jax placed a gentle hand on Amy’s shoulder, his soft eyes fixated on hers as she smiled. 

“What’s Kamilah like?” 

Silence. Jax and Lily gave each other looks before Jax cleared his throat. 

“She can be cold if she wants to be, she’s...quite mysterious but she opened up a lot with us, although I don’t know the details of your personal relationship with her. I...I’m not entirely sure how to describe her to you but she wouldn’t refuse your questions Amy, especially given the current circumstances. Why do you ask us?” Jax furrowed his brows as Amy felt a blush creep onto her face, Lily catching the pink cheeks in the corner of her eye. 

“Nothing, just curious to know what my friends were like…” Amy stared down at the blanket as Jax’s phone buzzed in his pants. 

Friends. Friends. Friends. Of course Lily and Jax were Amy’s friends, but Adrian? Kamilah? She felt something towards both of them. She didn’t carry the same feelings Adrian had for her - and they were far from the intensity he felt for her. He made her feel so safe and secure - and his nurturing nature would make any girl fall in love and Amy could sense something there, even if it was small. And Kamilah? There was something radiant about her to Amy, something about her presence that brings Amy a sense of tranquility that she doesn’t feel with Adrian. She didn’t know her but Amy felt herself infatuated with wanting to know Kamilah, wanting to spend time with her and just talk to her. Jax’s panicked voice brought Amy out of her head as Lily placed a calming hand on her shoulder - having watched Amy go through the whole thought process. 

“Nikhil-” His face changed from content to concerned as a muffled voice rang through, “I’m-I’m on my way.” Jax rushed over to Lily, whispering as Lily’s face grew concerned. They exchanged silent whispers as Amy tilted her head, wondering what it could be about. 

“Amy...I have to go...it’s a uh...work emergency..., will you be alright?” Jax squeezed her hand before hastily rushing out the door. 

“Amy...do you...do you have feelings for Kamilah?” Amy’s heart jumped at Lily’s voice, her face turning pink as Lily slowly took a seat beside her, her face full of curiosity.

“I...I don’t know! I-” Amy reached her hand up to cover her face as Lily gently pulled her hand away, giving Amy a reassuring look. Another knock on the door startled both of them as Lily rushed to open it, Kamilah stepping through the threshold. Amy felt her heart speed up, her palms growing sweaty as Kamilah came closer and closer to her. Her maroon suit perfectly fitted, her hair practically shining as her eye softened upon meeting Amy’s. 

“How are you feeling Amy?” Kamilah's voice was like music to Amy’s ears, it was smooth and silky yet firm and commanding, Amy’s heart pounding so loudly she thought Kamilah would hear it. She swallowed the lump in her throat as Kamilah gave a more concerned look to Amy. Amy thought she’d faint as Kamilah placed her palm against her forehead, her fingers rubbing small circles as she asked Lily to get some water. 

“Thank you for visiting Kamilah...I really appreciate it…” Amy whispered softly, Kamilah smiled, her usual exterior melting for a moment before Lily returned with the water. Lily paused before setting the water down on the table next to Amy, her eyes scanning between Kamilah and Amy and the odd sexual tension that lingered throughout the room. 

“I uh...gotta blast!” Lily squealed and dashed out the door, unsure of how to deal with the situation. Kamilah blinked twice, shocked as Amy furrowed her brows before returning to Kamilah. 

“I wonder what that was all about…” Kamilah pursed her lips as Amy shakily reached for the glass, her heart nearly beating out of her chest. She gripped the cup and brought it to her lips, Kamilah watching subtly as Amy spilled some on herself by accident. 

“Amy, here...let me help you…” Kamilah rushed to grab a few napkins from the counter as Amy’s face flushed red, when Kamilah placed her delicate hands on her lap where the water was spilled Amy thought she was going to have a heart attack. Kamilah lifted her hand, gesturing towards the water as Amy shook her head. Kamilah picked the glass up and gently placed it against Amy’s lips, tilting it back so she could drink. Kamilah tried not to stare but she couldn’t help herself but to watch Amy’s lips against the rim of the glass.

“Had enough?” Kamilah brought the nearly empty glass back down, perching herself on the chair next to Amy as Amy wiped her mouth. 

“Yes...thank you…” Amy mumbled, she shifted her eyes to the floor to avoid Kamilah’s eyes, a gaze that would make Amy question her feelings more than she already was. 

Kamilah cleared her throat, her hands slipping into her pockets before she sat forward, placing her hand over Amy’s. 

“Amy, everything will be alright. You have all of us at your side and we will get you whatever you need.” Amy smiled at her gesture, Kamilahs stoic expression that Lily had spoken of was nowhere to be found. Amy nodded in silence, enjoying the comforting touch of the older woman. She must’ve dozed off because she awoke later in an empty room, a small letter placed beside her as she rubbed her eyes. 

Amy,

Many apologies for running out so soon. An urgent matter needed to be handled and I could not address it from the seat beside you. I’ll return to visit you as soon as this matter is taken care of. Feel free to text or call if you need anything. My number is already saved in your phone. 

~Kamilah Sayeed

Amy smiled at the heartwarming note, maybe Kamilah wasn’t as cold and stoic as Lily had previously told her. She took in a deep breath as the doctor opened the door, clipboard in hand as he ran through the tedious checklists to ensure Amy was properly recovering. 

---------------------- Adrian’s Office ------------------------------

Kamilah, how late are you working tonight? 

Not much longer Adrian, just a few things to finish up here. Do you need something?

I could use some of your advice, and company. 

Of course brother. I’m sure the current situation has been exhausting among other things for you. 

Thank you Kamilah, I’ll see you shortly?

Yes.

Adrian leaned back in his leather chair as it gently squeaked, his suit wrinkling as he removed his tie from his neck and tossed it to the side. He turned his gaze towards the ceiling, his shoulders falling - a single tear falling from his face. He took a tissue from his desk and uselessly wiped away as his face became flooded with them, the teardrops staining documents and leaving marks on his jacket. He ripped the jacket off, not caring about how much it had cost him as she rested his head in his hands - his composure falling apart in seconds. His white blouse became disheveled as his breathing grew fast and desperate - his heart racing and beating so hard it hurt. He tried to stand, his legs completely failing him as he leaned against the bookshelf, hiding his face in his knees as he let his bottled emotions out. He stayed there for what felt like hours, until the door slowly creaked open...

[ahiijny]

ShinAya Trauma

@kageprotpmonth Week 3: Daze

Ayano is at the door. "I brought fresh vegetables!" she smiles, a grocery bag in her hands.

Shintarou blinks. "Oh. Er... okay. Come in."

"Sorry for dropping in unannounced," she says, taking off her shoes. "We accidentally bought way more food than we needed because we got confused about whose turn it was to go shopping! Anyway, I thought your family might want some of the food, so I came over!"

"Thanks, I guess," says Shintarou. He walks over and sets out a pair of slippers. "Here."

"Thanks!" she hops into the slippers. "Anyone else home right now?"

"Mom is at work, and Momo has a concert today," says Shintarou, leading her to the kitchen. "So it's just us two."

"Oh, yay," says Ayano, patting him on the arm. "Won't this be fun."

They put the groceries in the fridge.

"Have you eaten yet?" asks Ayano, following Shintarou to his room.

"No... I just have leftovers for today. I'm heating them up later."

"Hm, that's all right, I guess," she says. "I haven't eaten yet either. Maybe I'll make something later~"

In the living room, the clock chimes 11 o'clock.

Shintarou notices that Ayano's footsteps have stopped. He turns back. "Ayano?" For a moment, brief enough that he wonders if he imagined it, he sees a worryingly blank expression on her face.

But in the next moment, it's gone, and she's smiling again. "O...Oh, it's nothing," she says.

Shintarou's room isn't really much to speak of. The curtains are drawn shut,and the lights turned off; his computer screen glowing brightly in the darkness.

"What have you been up to?" she asks.

"Oh, you know," says Shintarou. "Computer stuff."

She takes a closer look, peering over his shoulder. "Isn't this that music program? What was it called... IA?"

"Uh-huh." He takes a seat at his desk.

"That's so cool! I wouldn't have expected Shintarou-kun to be the musical type."

"Ah... It's not like I'm an expert or anything," he says, feeling slightly embarrassed. "This is just something I've been experimenting around with. It's not good or anything."

"Nonsense, Shintarou-kun is smart. I'm sure you can be great at anything you put your mind to."

"...Um, thanks."

"Can I listen?"

Shintarou turns bright red. "N-no! It's... not ready."

Ayano points at the screen. "It says 'Final' in the file name."

"Um... It's... about you, so it's embarrassing." Shinarou fidgets with his fingers. "And..."

"..."

Biting his lip, he makes his decision. Silently, he shoves his pair of headphones at her.

"Ah." She grabs his wrist with both hands. "Thank you." She puts on the headphones.

He clicks play and she listens to the song.

As the cursor progresses through the track, Shintarou feels his heartrate increasing and he starts getting tunnel vision. Oh god, he's never shown anyone his music before. Even Ene, back when she was still in his computer, was at least respectful enough to leave these files in particular alone (or at the very least, she pretended that she had left them alone, which he can respect).

The song sucks. It totally sucks, doesn't it. Really, he hasn't taken a single class of music theory, so what does he know.

When the song ends, he glances back at her with trepidation, dreading her response.

He sees something wet on her cheeks.

His mouth opens in shock. "Y-You're crying!? Why!?"

"Fu fu," says Ayano as she takes off the headphones, her voice shaky despite the forced smile on her face. "Don't tell me you wrote something heavy-hitting like that and didn't even realize just what kind of an effect it would have on your listeners?"

Shintarou doesn't know what to say in response to that, so he just hands her the box of tissues. She nods in appreciation, wipping her face with a couple of tissues.

She tosses the tissues in the bin, and then takes a seat on his bed.

"It's an eternity in there," she says suddenly, the characteristic smile on her face gone, her hands clasped together. "The Daze. I know you all said that I was only in there for two years, but it felt like a lifetime. Multiple lifetimes. So many lifetimes."

She glances up at Shintarou, her eyes red. "The same nightmare, loop after loop after loop. There was no end. I was keeping track of the loops that passed with tallies on the wall, you know? Each loop was about a day, I think, and I thought, if I kept track...

"But I ran out of room on the walls. The tallies spread out across the floor and ceilings of the house, and then out onto the ground outside. Eventually, I stopped keeping track, because just watching the tallies spread, covering more and more area... it was making me kinda depressed, you know?" She chuckles dryly.

"I tried to stay strong. For Shuuya, for Tsubomi, for Kousuke. I just needed to do my part, and then everyone could be happy in the end... But my mind... isn't exactly the most rational thing, you know?" She smiles. "Ayano's dumb brain, not making sense. It should be expected, really."

Shintarou always feels a spike of unease when she calls herself dumb. 'You're not!' He wants to shout. He really needs her to stop thinking those kinds of thoughts. But he's really still not used to talking with other people, and so before he has time to string together a coherent set of words to interject, Ayano is already continuing.

"So, um, I might have stepped in front of an oncoming truck?" she says, looking down at her fingers.

"You what!?" Shintarou says, feeling his stomach lurch. Damn, why is it always the trucks.

"Don't worry," she says, waving her hands. "It didn't work. I just woke up again at the beginning of the loop. Seems like you can't die while inside the Daze. Good to know, eh?"

"Well..." He gets up from his bed and takes a seat on the bed next to her. "In theory, yes... But I think it's really bad that that... happened."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I mean... gah." Shintarou stretches his arms. "It's the circumstances. I mean... I've felt this before. This feeling. The one you're showing me."

Ayano blinks, and then gasps, turning away and covering her eyes. "I'm so sorry. I didn't realize I turned these on. I'm still not used to these..."

"It's fine. It's just that this feeling... is very familiar to me."

And then Ayano peers closely at Shintarou. "Shintarou-kun. Y-your eyes..."

"Yeah, I think it was in an earlier timeline," says Shintarou, staring at the ceiling. "I think I actually succeeded, too." He points at his neck. "Scissors. Here." He makes a cutting sound.

Ayano winces. "Ouch."

"Yeah, come to think of it, it probably hurt like hell. But I think I'd just accidentally killed Ene, and like... I was feeling so terrible and in despair and I was just so overwhelmed that I didn't really notice. I just wanted... out, as soon as possible." Shintarou looks away. "You know? So, yeah. Scissors."

"I'm sorry you had to experience that," says Ayano, her hand brushing his wrist. "...But as for me... I probably wouldn't be able to do that. I'm a coward, so I can only do things like jump off buildings or walk in front of trucks."

"...It's not like this is a competition or anything," he says carefully. "Being better at... that... is probably not a good thing. So you're fine."

"...If you say so..."

They sit in silence for a bit.

"This is super cheesy," says Shintarou, "but if you need to talk, or just hang out and play video games or whatever, you can come over whenever."

"You'd defeat me single-handedly in like every game ever," says Ayano, smiling weakly, her eyes glowing red. "But thanks. I appreciate it."

Shintarou unconsciously grips the covers on his bed. "Um."

Ayano tilts her head. "Hm?"

"You... Your eyes are red." He glances away in embarrassment.

She pauses for a moment, perplexed, and then blushes upon realizing what she'd just transmitted to him. A certain set of feelings... "Well, um... Geez, you had to have known already, anyway! With all the hints that I was dropping!..."

"That's the thing though, you can never be completely sure." Shintarou stares at his hands, fiddling with his thumbs. "Obviously, the possibility occurred to me, but it seemed kind of... too good to be true?"

"Ah." Ayano looks down at her hands as well, her cheeks still faintly red. "Is that so."

They sit in silence for a while.

"So..." says Ayano.

"So..." says Shintarou.

There's another long silence.

Ayano flops backwards onto the bed, her arms spread out on either side. "Do you think I should go back to school?" she asks, staring up at the ceiling. "I mean, I missed two years, so I'll be behind..."

"Well, I dropped out of school as well," says Shintarou. "It's been about two years for me as well."

"Yes, but unlike me, you're smart. You'd probably pass any university entrance exam on your first try."

"I... Agh." Shintarou rubs the back of his head, making a frustrated sound. "There are different kinds of intelligences, you know. There's bound to be something you're good at."

"Maybe?..." Ayano sighs. "I really have no idea what I'm doing, to be honest."

"Is there something you want to do?"

Ayano is silent for a long time.

"For me, well," mutters Shintarou. "I don't really know what I'm doing either. I mean, look at me. Still a hikikomori NEET, staying at home. It's really says a lot about me that my little sister is doing more for this household than I am."

"Potential," says Ayano. "You just haven't reached your full potential yet."

"Hmph," says Shintarou.

"Yeah... I really don't know..." Ayano's eyes shine bright red in the darkness. "I wish I could ask my parents. I mean, they'd have some cool tips and advice for sure."

Shintarou feels a swirling vortex of pain and grief and loss. He clutches his stomach. "Ugh. Yeah..."

There's a long silence.

Unbidden, some memories of Ayano from before the incident arise in Shintarou's mind.

"Why are you always cooped up in a dark, gloomy room?" she had said to him once. "Go out and explore! Exercise is good for the mind, you know."

"Me, I'm more of a sun and outdoors person," she had said in response to one of his comments about the weather one day.

"Hey..." says Shintarou. "Um. Do you want to go for a walk?" he asks.

Ayano blinks, and then sits up, gaping at him. "Oh my gosh. Shintarou-kun, wanting to go outside of his own volition? You've matured so much!! I'm so proud of you," she saya, patting him on the head.

"Oh quiet," says Shintarou, looking away, covering his face out of embarrassment. "...So?"

"...Sure," she says, getting up from the bed. "I'd like that." She wipes her eyes. They're still a little damp. "Ah... Yes, I think going outside would help a bit."

And so they head outside. Ayano waits just a few paces ahead as Shintarou locks the front door.

The cicadas are loud as hell out here.

"Aren't you hot in that?" asks Shintarou, pointing at her scarf as they begin walking out onto the sidewalk.

"Mmm," she says, smiling slightly. "It's fine."

"Why do you wear that all the time, anyway?"

"Well, at first it was just to cheer up the Dan, you know? Way back when. 'Red is the colour of heroes!' But nowadays..." She smiles faintly. "It's kinda become my signature look, you know? So I gotta wear it all the time, or else people won't recognize me!"

"Right..." he says dubiously.

"Also," she says more quietly. "Erm. It's nice and comfy. Like a hug." She wraps her arms around herself. "So it's reassuring."

"I see."

"What about you?" she asks, tilting her head. "Aren't you hot in that jersey?" She pokes him.

"Y...yeah..." he says, tugging on his collar. He really shouldn't have underestimated the heat today. He can feel the sweat starting to soak through to his clothes already.

"Why did you wear it out today, I was wondering?"

"Well, you never know when a red jersey might come in handy," says Shintarou. "So it doesn't hurt to be prepared."

"Right..."

"And also, that time, you said..." Geez, what is he saying. That's silly. Wearing a blatantly out-of-season piece of clothing just because a girl he likes said something good about it once is just silly. He's silly.

Ayano flashes a memory at him, tilting her head inquisitively.

"Yeah, that's the one," says Shintarou, looking away out of embarrassment.

"Ah..." says Ayano. She smiles, fiddling with her fingers. "Well, I'm flattered. But it's really not worth getting heat stroke over."

"...Fine, I'll take it off." He ties the jersey securely around his waist. "There."

She giggles. "It looks like you're wearing a dress now."

Shintarou crosses his arms. "Bah."

She giggles again.

Shintarou glances at her hesitantly, and then turns his attention back to the sidewalk in front of him.

They walk for a while.

As they walk, Shintarou sneaks a few glances at Ayano.

Ever since she returned from the Daze, she's been more... jumpy than usual. He wasn't sure if he had been imagining it earlier, but after observing her more carefully, she does seem to be tensing up a lot... It's happening whenever a car rushes by, and also whenever someone walks past them.

Once again, she twitches rather noticeably as a particularly large SUV drives by.

"Hey," says Shintarou. "You all right?..."

"Oh," she says. "You noticed?" She laughs sheepishly. "Well, the atmosphere was really different back in there... It'll just take me a while to get used to being back here in the real world."

"Should we go back inside?"

"I'll be fine," she says, pouting. "I can handle it."

"...If you say so." He glances away. "Just wanted to make sure you weren't pushing yourself."

She waves her hand. "This much I can handle."

More walking.

"But anyway, I kind of feel you, you know?" she says, stretching her arms. "What you were saying earlier. I'm the big sis, but we're all mainly relying on Seto's income right now. And also Dad's savings, but that won't last long. I need to get a job as soon as possible..."

"Me too, I guess," mutters Shintarou. "What kind of jobs do they have for high school dropouts?... Cashiers?"

"Fancy talking with strangers on a regular basis, Shintarou-kun?" She smiles.

He stiffens. "Urk."

"Fu fu. I thought not."

"Then factory work, or something."

"Hm, maybe." She glances at him. "But you should really finish school. It would be such a waste, with a mind like yours."

"Does it really matter..."

"You could do a lot of good in the world at your full potential."

"Then what about you?" Shintarou crosses his arms, frowning. "There's got to be something you can do. I don't want to see you doing some unfulfilling job for the rest of your life."

"Awww. Shintarou-kun actually cares." She smiles. "But don't worry, some kind of menial low-wage job is probably best suited for me. I was never great with the complicated stuff, anyway."

"There's got to be something. Um... say, a nurse."

"Oh gosh, no. I'd probably just mess up and give the wrong medicine and patients under my care would just end up dying."

"A programmer."

"That's really more Takane-chan's area of specialty... Not so much for me."

"...A manga artist?"

"I want to make enough money to support my family!" she says. "Besides, I'm not great at drawing. Haruka-kun would probably have a much better shot at it than me."

"An idol?"

"An idol, me?" She covers her mouth. "Noooooo... That's so not for me."

"..." Argh, what are some other jobs? He's really starting to regret actively ignoring anything career- or job-related during his two-year stint as a hikikomori-NEET.

"You've been only suggesting jobs that are really out there, Shintarou," huffs Ayano. "Why not something more reasonable, like teachers?"

Shintarou blinks. "Hey, sure. Why not a teacher?"

"Huh? No, I was just giving an example..."

"But you're good with children."

"Y...you think so?"

"And your Dad was a teacher too, wasn't he?" He turns to her and gives her a scruntinizing look. "Hm... Yeah, I can picture you as a teacher."

"Oh?" She beams. "You think?" She thinks about it for a moment. "Huh. Maybe I'll be a teacher, then. Well, kids can be kind of fun." She taps her chin, tilting her head. "Hmm. Maybe, maybe. So what about you, Shintarou-kun? What do you want to do?"

"...Don't know..." Shintarou sighs. "But maybe I can go to university."

"Maybe we'll go to the same school."

"M...maybe."

There's a distant rumble of thunder.

Shintarou and Ayano both look up, and abruptly realize that it has gotten very dark recently. Thick, grey clouds are completely covering the sky now.

"It was sunny half an hour ago!" Shintarou protests.

And then the rain begins to fall.

At first, it's just a trickle, and then it quickly speeds up, getting heavier, and heavier, and heavier...

And then Shintarou and Ayano glance at each other, disbelief etched on their faces.

"Quickly!" shouts Ayano. "Under that tree!"

They run through the sudden rainfall that's somehow getting heavier and heavier, even as they run.

They stop underneath the tree, panting for breath, soaking wet. They turn around and stare blankly at the enormous spray being thrown up by the buckets of rain falling from the sky. The sound of the rain on the pavement around them and on the tree canopy above is almost deafening.

It's suddenly a lot colder now, too. The temperature must have dropped something like 10 degrees in a matter of minutes.

"What. The. Frig." Shintarou shakes his head in disbelief.

"Wow, that's some heavy rain," says Ayano.

"Gah, I really should have checked the weather forecast beforehand."

"You know," she says. "I think I used to hate rain. I learned my Mom died when it was pouring rain outside, you know? But we haven't had any rain for over a month. Rain is necessary for life." She spreads out her arms. "The gods give us rain. Wash away, wash away the Daze. Autumn has come."

"—By Ayano," says Shintarou.

"Huh?... Oh!" She pauses for a moment. "No, that wasn't 5-7-5, though."

"Eh, close enough." Shintarou stares out at the rain, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. "Missed a lot of school / Raindrops falling from the sky / Your marks will fall too"

"Che," says Ayano, poking him on the shoulder. "Cynical as always, I see." She giggles.

Shintarou stares at Ayano's shirt. Her soaked, white shirt.

"Erm. I can see your bra."

"So?" she grins. "I can see your nipples!"

Shintarou looks down and sees that indeed, his shirt has become see-through as well. "Oh," he says. After a moment's pause, he unties his jersey from his waist and puts it on Ayano's back. "But still. Sorry, it's wet, though."

"Hm?" she says. She puts her arms through the sleeves. "That's fine. Thanks. Oh, and..." She takes off her scarf and plops it around Shintarou's neck. It's long enough to hang down and cover a large fraction of his chest. "For you."

"...Thanks, I guess."

They stand there for about 10 minutes.

The rain doesn't look like it's going to let up anytime soon. So, despite Shintarou's reservations, they decide to make a run for it.

There's something exhilarating about running through the rain. Especially this kind of rain—with precipitation thick enough to feel as if they're running underwater.

They're completely soaked within the first several steps, and their shoes begin squishing with water shortly after that.

"Wa ha ha!" laughs Ayano, pointing at the enormous torrent of water flowing down the road and into the drains. "The road is like a river!" she shouts to be heard over the almost deafening sound of the rain.

By the time they get back to Shintarou's house, every square centimetre of their bodies are soaked to the bone, and their clothes feel almost three times heavier with the additional water that they've picked up.

Shintarou pushes open the door, and they hurry inside, gasping for breath. As soon as Ayano is inside, he slams the door behind them and clicks the lock shut.

They stare at each other, the water dripping off their clothes already forming a large puddle underneath them.

And then Ayano laughs, and then Shintarou can't help but chuckle a little as well.

Small steps at a time, little by little... they're getting their lives back on track.

Momo sounds totally peeved when she finds them soaking wet and dripping puddles of water in the entryway. "Oh my god, what are you two doing? What were you doing outside in this weather? I had to really rush to make it back in time before the rain started! Didn't you check the weather forecast!?..."

Shintarou and Ayano just look back at Momo with expressions of mirth on their faces.

Momo huffs and crosses her arms. "You two..." she says, shaking her head. She throws a couple of towels at them. "Hurry up and get washed up right now. You'll catch a cold!" She quickly ushers them up to the bathroom. "Ayano-chan first, and then Onii-chan after, okay? Throw your wet clothes into this bin. I have some dry clothes from my wardrobe that might be able to fit you, okay Ayano-chan?"

The dark-haired girl (wearing Onii-chan's jersey??) just smiles sheepishly. "Sorry about this. Thank you."

"No big deal," she says, crossing her arms. "Just be more careful next time."

"Right," they both say together. They turn to each other, and then Ayano giggles.

Momo rolls her eyes, huffing. "Kids these days."

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Wan High Weeping (Part 8)

For those who have trouble with such themes; this is the suicide mention chapter.

Aang felt caught up in the middle of something he really had no place in. He didn’t know how he got dragged into this one at all. Whatever Suki had said to Sokka, it had the usually upbeat man in a fit. And because he was in a fit, so was Katara.

 Katara who tearfully called him the night before to ask for advice. Apparently, it would be betraying Sokka to continue talking with Suki, but she liked Suki and Suki was her only ally right now and she really, really needed a true companion especially now that Sokka had, as she put it, abandoned her. He sighed to himself before texting, ‘I’m an ally to right?’ He regretted it as soon as he hit send. He had just made things about himself so he quickly apologized and added that she shouldn’t let Sokka control who she talked to. He thought of adding that she should tell them to be adults and talk it over. But he knew Sokka and he was well aware that, as wonderful a friend as he was, had could be less mature than Aang himself. And that right there was saying something, Aang didn’t know many people who acted more childish than he.

 He put his phone aside and popped his earbuds in. He could go for some indie pop and doodling. He wanted to have something to show Yengchan. Even if she wouldn’t be grading it. He groaned to himself, remembering that he didn’t have her for art this time around. No, this time, he was stuck with that kooky new art teacher, Joodee.

He only had a few days’ worth of classes with her and she was already weirding him out. She seemed to have a thing for standing directly behind him, breathing down his neck, as he tried to paint. Not that he was the only one she did that to.

��His phone buzzed and he almost didn’t want to read the message.

 This time it was Sokka. ‘Girls are a pain, dude. You’re lucky you’re gay.’

 He was going to have to respond to that one later. As much as he loved Sokka, the man wasn’t very sensitive. He told the man time and time again not to say things like that, because he certainly didn’t feel lucky with Chan calling him a ‘faggot’ among other, very slap worthy, things. But in that moment, he did feel at least a little lucky; relationships were so complicated. He began to wonder if it was worth seeking one out at all. At least he wouldn’t have to worry about surprise babies with any of his partners.  

 Maybe he should call Toph and ask her how to approach the situation. But at the same time he didn’t want to share secrets that weren’t his to begin with. He peered at his phone. The text alert popped up again reading, ‘Girls are a pain…” He really ought to turn off the second alert so he wouldn’t have to see the same message he was trying to ignore, twice.  

 His phone went off again and he cringed. In general psychology he was learning about good ol’ classical conditioning—he was almost certain that he was being classically conditioned to dread the sound of text alerts. He could probably write his end of the year psychology report on that.

 A buzz.

Another message.

 That time he picked up the phone. There was another message from Katara and one from—he breathed a sigh of relief—Toph.

 ‘What’s good TT!?’

 He chuckled. Since when was she using ‘TT’ to abbreviate ‘Twinkle Toes’. Before jumping into the harder topics, he asked her just that.

 He looked at Katara’s message. ‘Yes, Aang, you’re an ally. But we don’t have any classes together, you know? I guess, but Sokka and I…’ the message cut off. Just as he was about to ask, another comes in. ‘We were always so close. But ever since he went off to university, he’s been pulling away.’

 That message actually brought him a sense of relief. He thought that Sokka was just snubbing him, it would seem that he was distancing himself from everyone. Maybe he had found new ‘cooler’ college friends. He texted Katara back, ‘which is exactly why you should do what you want.’ For good measure he added, ‘Sokka isn’t being kind of a jerk and Suki needs a friend.’

 His fingers hovered over Sokka’s message.

But he couldn’t seem to get any further than that.

 .oOo.

 Aang woke up to the sound of his phone playing TGIF, as completely dorky as it was, little things like that helped boost his mood. If he could wake up singing, then the day might not be so bad after all. He dressed himself and grabbed an apple and a frosting-free cinnamon pop-tart and headed for the bus stop. He was running a little late so he would have to eat on the bus.

 He took his seat and began munching. “Oh no. Oh no!” He leapt out of his seat. “Stop the bus!”

 The bus driver cocked her head to the side, “we’re already moving, kid. What’s the problem.”

 “I forgot my backpack.”

 The woman nodded. “Tough luck, kid.”

 He dropped to his seat feeling completely defeated. “Oh man, this sucks.” Now all of his homework was going to take late grades and he would get ‘unprepared’ strikes in all of his classes. He just hopped that since it was the first week they would show some mercy.

 The bus came to another stop and he thought about getting off and sprinting back to his house. He was pretty quick—so quick in fact that his P.E teacher, Mr. Kuruk asked him to join the track team. But he doubted that he could keep up with a bus. He sighed.

 Toph flopped down in the seat next to him.  She was wearing the same sweater she wore the day before. He didn’t think that he’d ever seen her wear the same thing twice before, she had so many clothes.

Had…

 “You ready for today’s sit ‘n snivel assembly?” Toph asked.

 Aang snickered, he knew that he shouldn’t have, this time around the assembly seemed pretty serious. Ruon-Jian had given him quite a hard time after finding out about the crush Aang had on him, but he was still ready to snivel for the boy.

Truth be told, Aang didn’t know what had happened exactly. There was a party—the very same party Suki and Sokka had dragged him to—and then a few months later there was a body. Aang didn’t know the detail and he was afraid to find out. He didn’t like to think that there was a killer in the school.

 “I guess I’m as ready as I can be, Toph. You know that I don’t like these things.” He was only a freshmen but he has had his share of dismal assemblies. When he was in his second year of middle school one of his grademates was taken in a car accident as her mother was driving her to choir practice. He had no connection to her whatsoever and he still wanted to cry.

 “Geez, Twinkle Toes, you’re a sensitive little guy.” She bumped him on his arm. But he could hear the somber in her voice, he imagined that she liked the idea of an in-school memorial service as little as she. He could only imagine what Chan was going through right now. “If you need to cry, I brought a box of tissues just for you.” She rustled around her backpack—the same one she used last year, a little worn and beaten—and pulled out a box. “I got you the ultra-soft ones, for your baby skin.”

 That time he laughed unburdened. “You’re the best, Toph.”

 .oOo.

 Homeroom passed by too quickly. Even with Smellerbee chucking crumpled paper balls at him. Wasn’t it enough for her to hog the soccer ball during practice? She had to make homeroom difficult too. As the bell rang, one final paper ball collided with the back of his head.

That one had writing.

He knew that he wouldn’t like what he read, but curiosity got the better of him; ‘Hey pixie puff, good luck next hour, must be hard knowing your man crush is dead. Btw, Jet says to try to stop looking at his goods!’

 Aang flushed. For one thing, Jet’s goods were the last place his eyes could be found. He was more of an abs guy. If any of the cool kids had to worry, it was Chan. He put all of his energy into being offended by that, so he wouldn’t have to address the first part of the note.

 He followed the crowd to the auditorium. It was overflowing to the point where they had to bring in extra chairs. He scoped the place for Toph. Once he found her, he snuck away from his class and sat next to her—there went the one rule he allowed himself to purposefully break for the year.  He needed to cut himself some slack, he was going to need a shoulder. He truly wished that he had asked Roku to be exempt from this kind of thing.

 Roku stood at the podium. The backdrop he stood in front of was a large portrait of Ruon-Jian draped with flowers and notes of well wishes. A few candles added a false sense of warmth and comfort to the occasion. “Myself and the Matsanoro family would like to thank you all for coming.”

 “Like we had a choice.” He heard Teo mumble. Aang wanted to think that the words were half-hearted, the product of pent up anger.

 “As you all know, we lost a student last December. One of Wan High’s star athletes and a fine, respectable young man and good friend to many.”

 Aang glanced at Teo in time to catch the eyeroll.  

He scanned the other faces. He first picked out Chan whose expression was curiously blank—a storm was stirring beneath, Aang speculated. Jet stood next to him also seeming curiously uncaring.  He expected to see Azula there, but she was a little further to the right, standing between Zuko—he had finally showed up?—and Mai.

TyLee, next to Mai, was weeping bucketloads. Aang hadn’t realized that she and Ruon were particularly close. Mai herself was as indifferent as always. Zuko, seemed almost delighted at the passing of one of his rivals. Aang made a mental not to keep his distance.

 It would seem that most people either didn’t care that Ruon-Jian was gone or relished in it. He brought his stare to Azula, at first he found the misty-eyed gaze to be rather uncharacteristic of her. And then he recalled at once, that she had been rather close with Ruon, more so than she was with Chan.  The school must be in a state of vileness, if Azula was among the more compassionate.

Usha was crying too, but it was entirely played up, more or less to make herself the center of attention.

“Man, those tears are about as real as her boobs!” Toph crassly confirmed his own speculations.

 “Ruon-Jain’s passing was completely preventable.” Roku noted, leaving Aang to curse himself for missing most of the speech; the important part of it. “Which is why I would like to make everyone aware of what to look out for.” He paused. “Loss of interest, tiredness, and angry outbursts.”

 A part of Aang shriveled up on the inside. He snatched on of the tissues Toph had so kindly given him and dabbed at his eyes. He was putting the pieces together.

 “If you notice any odd behavior—a sudden elation in mood for example—or a friend giving you items a value without warning or explanation, please contact a parent or a staff member immediately.” Roku allowed a moment of processing before continuing. “With that in mind I would like to open up a chance to meet with any one of our social workers.”

 Aang caught sight of Mai shuffling awkwardly.

  “If you don’t feel comfortable doing so, I will be passing out pamphlets with help hotlines.”

 Aang’s chest felt tight. On one had he didn’t have to fret over a school murderer. On the other hand, it was only his freshmen year and he had already attended his first suicide prevention-oriented assembly. Irrationally he thought that he was responsible. If only he hadn’t laid things on so strongly, maybe then Ruon-Jian would have talked to him.  All at once, he wondered if he should check on Suki and Katara, they were having a pretty tough time. “Hey, Toph, you’d tell me if you needed anything right.”

 “Yeesh, Twinkle Toes, you are taking this hard.” Toph muttered. This time she knew when to drop the class clown thing. “Of course I would, Aang.”