#digressing-paths

[orange-sora]

Earlier, to me, Shen Yuan being hell bent on believing Binghe to be manipulative and deceptive when they met in Jinlan City, was a result of his preconceived notions thanks to his PIDW knowledge. But, I do wonder, if a part of it was because, he himself has been lying all this time.

Ever since he transmigrated, he's been deceiving everyone. Partly because of the System and partly because he had decided even before dying that that'd be his plan of action if he ever transmigrated. To him, it had felt like the only sensible option. The only way to survive, to be accepted. But he can't fathom, that maybe, in some sense, that is also true for Luo Binghe.

When Luo Binghe met his shizun after the abyss, Shen Yuan read every emotion on his face as a calculated move. He believed Binghe's acting skills were so good, that he appeared genuine. Like Shen Yuan chose to lie and trick to survive, Binghe does the same for power and revenge. Shen Yuan may have consciously chosen this path but it was under duress. Luo Binghe, however, must be a mastermind for the exact same choices. That's how he was written, after all. How could the OP Protagonist ever be forced to act in a way he never wanted??? Impossible!

I wonder if, like Shen Jiu self-projected a beast onto Binghe, Shen Yuan self-projected a deceiver.

EDIT: part 2

[pearsandrust]

i don't think feixiao was always aware of just how much value a single life holds. she grew up in a borisin war camp, a place where people were constantly killing and dying and being replaced. in such conditions, it's hard to convince yourself that individual lives have any meaning at all. when she first joins the verdant knights, it isn't because she cares about saving others. she was always surrounded by death, so her motive was simple and vengeful. i want the borisin dead.

feixiao learns of the value of life when she loses her friend, and she only fully understands it when she watches the hunt's arrow take general yueyu and her soldiers as well. that day, she realizes the true cost of a "shooting star" -- total destruction does not discriminate between friend and foe. even though her childhood was cruel, it's not nearly as haunting as the chill of lan's arrow. from then onwards, feixiao's nightmares are not about running from her captors; they're about the people she couldn't save.

in her last character story, feixiao takes the long way home, listening to the sounds of a bustling market from the other side of a wall. she marvels at the sound of children, perhaps because the younger version of her could have never imagined so much life in one place. she says to herself, "what a wonderful time this is". and finally, when hoolay asks her what she fights for, she says this:

So that just one more person can live and return to the Yaoqing alongside me.

feixiao was not always altruistic. she was not always willing to give up her life for other people -- in fact, her very first "mistake" was running from the borisin without looking back, abandoning her friend in the process. but honestly, that makes her goodwill all the more admirable.

[burningcheese-merchant]

I hope Burningcheese becomes canon but in a Hollytaya 2 way just to annoy you

Idk if you're being tongue in cheek or actually trying to get under my skin. Either way I actually laughed out loud reading this, thank you

[faux-mance]

noticed that a lot of kross/criller is people trying to put cross in the role that color canonically takes

[reksink]

Furred Attempts at One's Self

[secret--history]

I know that 'The Secret History is a satire' is an extremly prevalent take, and I think it came about as a response to the idea that tsh "romanticises" things like classist ideas/substance abuse/murder, but like. It can be unsupportive or critical of the characters without being a satire. Satire is not the word you're looking for here

[theskeletoninthegarden]

I'm in one of those weird creative ruts where I have an idea, and some threads of what could happen, but I have no idea how to start it

[franeridan]

Thinking about the paths in hsr and how some inform so much about the characters once you figure out the logic behind them, and specifically about ratio longing for nous's recognition but following lan's path - he's obviously a scholar, so him being an erudition character would have made a lot of sense when you don't think too deeply about it, but despite characters with less ties to knowledge walking that path ratio does not. He follows the path of the hunt. And that's a very cool fact about him imho

During his quest screwllum says that more than a scholar he feels like ratio's a doctor with the way he tries to cure people of their ignorance, which isn't strictly wrong and I love that about him (and I love about screwllum that he thinks so poetically too), but the way I see it ratio really is a hunter. He does follow lan's path, when you think about it. His travels are all about his fight against ignorance, after all. Thinking about him and his relationship to the aeons really put a lot of things about the paths into perspective for me - I thought the paths were somewhat more literal, but after all it's about the driving force behind a character's actions, is it not?

Nous is the unrelenting pursuit of the truth, of knowledge and information, and that's why someone like argenti follows that path despite being the furthest thing from a scholar you could think of - his travels are first and foremost about finding the truth about idrila, after all. On the other hand ratio isn't actively devoting his life to finding a truth or amassing more knowledge, and that's why nous won't look at him. He is extremely intelligent and competent, and he does value learning above all else, but his main pursuit is to use that knowledge to rid the universe of ignorance, and that's why he follows lan's path - the hunt is the path of those devoting their life to fighting against something, in the end, be it a literal enemy or a figurative one.

It's really really interesting to me? There's a ton of characters that are given depth by understanding their path, I love to think about it

[deus-ex-mona]

just having natsuyuu thoughts on this totally fine thursday night~~

[araneitela]

Me: Talks about the significance and intimacy (not automatically romantic, folks, but also there's an inherent romanticism) of hands, and touch and who you let into that space of comfort. Pinterest: Did you say hands? Here, we've adjusted your home feed you so that you. cannot. possibly. escape. them. you're. welcome. Me: I just wanted— what did I want, again?

... Did I end up rambling about anything but hands in my tags? Yes. Welcome to me, this is what you sign up for. Not my portrayal, not my writing, my tag rambles.

[weed-hotel]

feeling like neil josten the way i dont give a shit about anyone other than the og foxes

[tow-bees]

I was just thinking about how much I would love to be able to Save My Progress irl but then I realized if the Pokémon Pearl saving animation is anything to go by, that just means I gotta start keeping a diary of every town I’ve visited (a couple), every critter I’ve obtained (many), and how many gym members I’ve beat up (zero)

[shinygoku]

do you see locomotives as demons or angels? (or something else?)

They've got traits commonly associated with both, which makes for some fab contrast! With me mostly talking about Steam, let's have a quick rundown:

Demonic traits: Made out of fire and metal, run on coal dug from the ground or felled trees. Inefficient, extremely labour intensive. Finicky and dangerous, overlooking even one factor may result in a grisly death. They howl like mournful ghosts and cough out embers and poisonous smoke. Used for evil like colonisation. Created by the Victorians, who are largely responsible for starting many problems that we're still dealing with today.

And the other side of the coin –

Angelic traits: Tremendously powerful, even when only using a tiny percentage of their potential. On their rails they never get lost. Leaving a thin line through the land they cover countless miles. Each one has its own way of working, similar to one another but distinct for old hands. They carry vast crowds or goods with little effort and bring people together. They sing and let off pure white steam. They gleam in the sunlight and their fires glow in the darkness of night. Used for good, transporting people to safety, acting as mobile hospitals, just allowing people to leave their locality for a nice change of pace. While the technology has progressed and changed, there's an irresistible charm to the many and various shapes, colours, and ways of running. Still much better for the environment than cars for terrestrial movement.

So even without me talking much about Diesels, Electrics and Hybrid type Engines, there's a Tao-esque balance to them. I admit I'm a little biased, but I genuinely believe the Pros outweigh the Cons.

Still though, the question on if they're Angelic or Demonic, and the answer being "Yes" isn't all. I dig the old nickname that Steam Locos already have – Iron Horses. As they were brought into the world to cover Horse Duties, after all, the oldest railways were built for Equine Power long before a metal contraption had been drawn up or plausible. And like horses, and other creatures, they're beautiful and fussy and messy and difficult, but there's something so magnetic and wonderful all the same.

Alternatively, Dragons (Giant, firey, strong, intimidating) or Cats (in Behaviour) work fairly well too :3 And, the sleeker numbers of this day and age being more Serpentine, long and sleek uniform units and all, offers a neat Giant Snake image~

[digressing-paths]

And as it turns out, we weren't meant to be. Happiness between fighting isn't enough to stay. You are so full of love, and you deserve a kind love, a love that listens to understand, a love that holds space for big and small emotions, a love that feels like home and pushes you to grow. You'll find it one day.

12:19am thoughts// I choose me

[michanvalentine]

Another thing I absolutely love about Astarion’s redemption arc is how some narrative threads introduced in Act 1 find their resolution in the good ending.

The first and most obvious one revolves around the beautiful concept of a gift.

When the player offers their blood to Astarion, he receives a gift that goes beyond mere nourishment. In that moment, what Tav/Durge is giving him, beyond blood, is understanding and trust.

And this concept comes full circle after the ritual, where this narrative thread finds its conclusion. That’s when Spawn Astarion thanks the player for the gift they have given him—gently guiding him by the hand toward a new path where he is truly free.

But not just free. As the vampire spawn himself says in that ending, he is honestly free. And for that gift, he is grateful.

I think that’s absolutely beautiful.

But the meaning runs even deeper than that. This ties into the theme of seeing and being seen—not in a superficial sense.

After all, Astarion’s appearance is both a curse and a shield, something he has learned to wield, just like his mannerisms, his charming words, and the sarcasm he uses as a distraction.

It’s an important concept because it means going beyond the surface, seeing him for who he truly is, feeling him, and experiencing him in his entirety.

Astarion deeply struggles with his condition—not just as a slave, but as a vampire. He’s so happy to be able to act human again thanks to the Illithid tadpole, to do simple, mundane things like crossing running water or entering a house without permission. And let’s not even talk about his joy at standing under the sunlight.

When you meet him on the beach for the first time and reveal what will happen if they don’t get rid of the Illithid tadpoles, Astarion’s bitter reaction, complete with laughter, shows just how much it truly weighs on him: "Of course it’s going to turn me into a monster, what else did I expect?!"

In fact, when his vampiric nature is revealed for the first time during the bite scene, he fears rejection and is quick to emphasize that he’s not some kind of monster. The morning after, when Shadowheart tactlessly points out this aspect of him, his expression changes, and we can see how being perceived as a monster wounds him. It keeps him at a distance, sets him apart as something other. Later, he will even say outright that he wants to be treated like a person—not as a slave, not as a vampire. Just a person. Not superior, not inferior. Exactly like everyone else. Because Astarion wants to be part of the world, to reconnect with people.

This is especially clear when he approves of Tav’s perspective—that he could find a place for himself in the world, where he could be accepted, supported, if he is willing to open up and do the same for others. He approves because the idea appeals to him—it makes him feel like he can belong. Not as a monster, but as a person finding his way back into the world he once inhabited.

But I’m digressing.

The mirror scene isn’t just there by chance—it’s narratively strategic. In that moment, Astarion explicitly asks the player what they see, because he wants to know how the world perceives him. He worries about how others see him precisely because he feels separate, othered, like a monster. And it’s not a matter of appearance—Astarion knows he’s gorgeous. He’s heard it thousands of times over the centuries. But he’s insecure about his place within the group, within society, within the world.

That’s why he appreciates it when Tav/Durge reassures him on the two things that trouble him most—his piercing gaze (the red eyes of a vampire) and his dangerous smile (the sharp fangs of a predator). He relaxes because, in that moment, he feels accepted. Because he realizes his defining traits aren’t the insurmountable barriers he thought they were. Because the person in front of him sees him—not through the lens of prejudice, but for who he really is.

This theme returns later, during the confrontation with Aurelia and Leon, when Astarion deflects the idea of being heroic by saying, "I can’t be what you see in me." Again, the motif of seeing, of looking deeper, of recognizing something more, of reading between the lines—both of the narrative and of his character.

And it’s beautiful when, the morning after the ritual, that relaxed, happy Astarion, with that wonderful smile on his lips, says that Tav/Durge saw something in him. Something different from everyone else. Something beyond his monstrous nature, beyond his darkest intentions, beyond his fear.

Tav/Durge saw him. Saw his potential.

And if you’re in a romantic relationship with him, in the graveyard scene, Astarion will bring up this idea once again. With a heroic Tav/Durge, Astarion feels safe. And he feels seen. Seen, for god’s sake. That’s huge.

This is where this narrative arc—about perception, about seeing him throughout the entire journey—finds its resolution. Astarion is truly more than what Cazador made him to be. He breaks free from the pattern of monster/vampire. He chooses to start living again. To rediscover himself. To reclaim his identity in the most human way possible—through the world and the people around him.

Perhaps his body has not regained its human traits, but spawn Astarion is, without a doubt, the Astarion who has reclaimed his humanity the most.

[drenched-in-sunlight]

one thing that i find interesting is that even though we never get to interact with Marika directly, only knowing her via obscure cutscenes and other characters' dialogue... she actually displays a wide range of emotions as much as any other NPCs.

her statues depict her as having a warm, gentle smile:

the Mimic veil description points to her playful, mischievous side:

(it's a popular theory in the JP/Asian side of the fandom that it's sth from her childhood - hence the "Marika's Mischief", not "Queen Marika's", and she used it to escape the grisly fate befalling her family.

additionally, its equivalence in Dark Souls is also something described as "the mischief of a young girl who sought relief from the solitude of the woods at dusk", aka Princess Dusk who hails from "Oolacile, land of ancient golden sorceries", but i digress)

her portrait, the story trailer's "Queen Marika was driven to the brink" and Gideon's dialogue after the player defeated Malenia pointed out her sorrow:

(back when i first played the base game, this is the portrait that drove my eyes most in Roundtable Hold. i kept gazing at her - the Queen with permanently lowered eyes, and thought "there is a girl in there")

The bat lady's song, Messmer's entire Crusade, all those conflicts to establish the Erdtree, shows her anger, and the cruelty she's capable of:

Then there's Shaman's village, the clinic underneath Shadow Keep, the golden braid, the Minor Erdtree, the sealing of Death - that points to grief, trauma, survivor guilt, kindness, and the ruinous drive for revenge that results in the above path down hell:

(there's also a theory for the Crusade's headless statue being a reminder for the Hornsent of what they put Marika's mother through, but it's not concrete canon so here is the link if you want to check it out)

The fact that all of Erdtree's incantations are heal and protection spells (with only one exception of Wrath of Gold spell which was found after the Elden Ring was shattered), the Capitol's Perfumers originally being blessed healers, and that all Erdtree blessings come in the shape of tears give the picture of Marika's gentle wish at the beginning: to heal everything and everyone.

(and to me personally, there's a kind of vulnerability and honesty in showing your tears to the world and let it be your power to heal at the same time.)

the eye she blessed Messmer with (i do think the Eng translation at some part lost the sentiment of the JP text - that the eye is always referred to as a blessing)

the blessing flask that - unlike its Dark Souls equivalent (which ranges from 6-13 flasks), only have 4 available to us player, heal all ailments and status effect, and specified as sth made for Messmer.

the Marika's soreseal in the Haligtree + the waterfall near Godwyn's final resting place

the Regal Omen Bairn (that was fashioned after the Jizo statue - sth made by grieving parents wishing for protection for their deceased child in the afterlife)

the blessing, gifts, equipment that Messmer and Godwyn's personal knights all get

the fact that Marika's bedchamber and the Impaler's Catacomb (which is the only catacomb in the base game to have the spike trap mechanic used in catacombs in the DLC) remain the proof of Messmer's existence in the base game

how Godwyn's ending is the only ending where the mending rune is placed on the position of Marika's womb (the lower arc or the Elden Ring - also referred to as the basin in which its blessings pool)

that's a whole barrage of motherhood. the love, the fear, the postpartum depression, the guilt and anxiety, (the occasional scheming for revenge with her son). and despite how flawed and tragic that love ends up being for all of them, it is there.

(there's a whole subplot about how Messmer is the only demigod to be called ugly in-game (Hornsent npc dialogue) while Boc's questline is about how his mother being the only one to always assure him he's beautiful, despite everyone else calling him ugly. and how each NPCs questline does reflect a wider theme seen in Marika and her children. but again, i digress)

every time i think of her, Marika is a constantly shifting kaleidoscope, holding everything from within (the beauty and the malign, light and dark, birth and death, she's warm and gentle, she's cruel and unjust, she's strong and kind, she's weak and resentful, she's sweet and she's bitterness made flesh)... and i could only stand there and admire it all.