#does legolas look cis to you?

[mad-jesters]

i call aragorn my creature because for me hes so out of the concept of gender binary and the fact that he was raised by the elves doesnt help either. Do you think the elves were excited to conform to men's binary ideas? Absolutely not!

[spinningalbinoturtle]

The fellowship of the Kinsey scale aka LoTR characters ranked from most to least fruity

Btw this is a joke (well sort of) so don’t take any of my stereotype arguments too seriously. Although I do genuinely think most of these characters are gay.

1. Frodo- Frodo is gayest the character. He’s constantly described as queer, his deepest connection is with Sam and their relationship is incredibly romance coded. Plus he reads poetry all the time, wears his sparkly elvish top and that fall in Return of the King movie? Homosexual. Not to mention he has THE gay haircut. Man looks like a starbucks barista. Galadriel is his gay icon.

Sam- although more masculine than Frodo and also bi Sam has the second most Gay EnergyTM. He’s a bit overemotional he spends the entire series simping over Frodo and is obsessed with flowers and poetry. When his wife dies he leaves his kids to spend eternity with his husband and the elves. Gay behavior

Legolas- Legolas is a petty drama queen and I love that for him. Loves his dwarf husband. Just look at his hair-no straight man cares that much about their hair. Gay gay gay.

Gimli-a bear but in the dwarf way. Galadriel is also his gay icon. Loves his elf husband. Loves some sparkly diamonds and jewels. Lord of the GLITTERING CAVES you say? Sounds kinda fruity

Gandalf-he’s basically a minor god and thus does not conform to human ideas of sexuality and gender. Literally all the LGBTQIAs. Gandalf Big Naturals , Gandalf the Gay are just a few of this bitch’s many names.

Pippin-Y’all on this app have convinced me Pippin is not cis gender. I don’t know in what form trans, non binary, gender fluid? Honestly could be any one.

Merry-pansexual and very open about it. Just seems like a chill queer dude who smokes a ton of weed and is open to a relationship with anybody

Boromir-excessively emphasizes his straightness but has homoerotic battle moments and after battle showers with his comrades in Gondor. Very repressed bisexual

Aragorn- I think its funny if he’s the token straight but THE BIGGEST ALLY YOU WILL FIND. Literal king passes a bunch of laws enshrining LGBTQ rights cause all his friends are gay

Bonus

Faramir- is transfem and you can’t change my mind. Lesbian with her wife Eowyn. Has bi-to drag queen-to trans character arc.

Eowyn-butch lesbian horse girl and ya know what? We absolutely love her for it. After the war she has a buzzcut.

Bilbo-ace icon. I’M SORRY if you ship Bagginshield but I headcanon him as ace/aro. Hates the idea of sex but wanted kids so he adopted his gay little nephew.

[popwasabi]

“Picard” S1 Review: Doesn’t boldly go but is nonetheless engaging

Produced by CBS All Access

Starring: Patrick Stewart, Isa Briones, Allison Pill, Michelle Hurd, Santiago Cabrera, Evan Evagora, Harry Treadaway

Many fans had high hopes for “Picard” going into CBS All Access’s continuing voyage into the Star Trek franchise.

Fans wanted to see the lore finally expanded into the future after its previous three ventures (Enterprise, Abrams Trek, and Discovery) took place in the past, bring modern themes and ideas to Star Trek’s futurist’s world view in a way that felt fresh and relevant, but most importantly continue the story of the franchise’s greatest captain; Jean-Luc Picard, of course.

(He’s the best captain. This is not up for debate. Don’t @ me!)

In some ways the new series succeeds at this. We get glimpses of the previously untouched world of Star Trek post “Nemesis,” new themes that are resonant with real world events and exploratory, even critical, of the Federation’s worldview, and of course plenty of Picard himself as he navigates the strange new galaxy he inhabits.

But Picard ultimately misses the mark due to rushed storytelling, half-baked side plots, and just plain poor execution overall. It’s sad because “Picard” and this very talented cast and production team have their moments throughout this first season’s ten episode run but somehow even with 10 episodes of content to work with fans still end up with a somewhat jumbled mess.

(Me by like the eighth episode.)

This isn’t to say “Picard” isn’t worth your time if you’re an avid Star Trek fan or just someone who likes Patrick Stewart in this role in general but the first season will leave you still hungry for more and not in a good way.

“Picard” continues the story of the titular captain, now retired admiral, many years after the events of “Nemesis” as a retired Jean Luc reflects on his life in Starfleet and of his late friend Data who gave his life for his. A synth ban has been enacted in Starfleet after a major riot on Mars some years prior and Picard is understandably sour on the idea, given his relationship with Data, while also fighting Starfleet on not helping the exodus of the Romulans after the supernova that wiped out their homeworld in “Star Trek (2009).” When a young woman comes seeking Picard’s aid after an attack by mysterious assailants, revealing that she is an android and the possible daughter of Data, and gets killed, it is up to the retired Admiral to find her twin sister before she suffers the same fate.

Before we get started let’s throw out some of the bad faith arguments on why this series wasn’t all that good.

“Picard” doesn’t suck because it has “politics” in it. At this point, if you are complaining about the existence of social viewpoints and political/philosophical discussions in your Star Trek, or let alone any series for that matter, I don’t know what the hell you’ve been watching the past few decades. Star Trek has always been more than just a show about cool-looking spaceships and laser beams, you neckbeards.

(Hell, even the other “Star” got more going on in it than that.)

It’s also not bad because of female representation or “girl power.” Again, Star Trek has always had this and frankly having a few more instances of the women of Trek taking center stage doesn’t even come close to rebalancing the scales on the overall massive representation of cis white men across the genre and even the series anyways.

Also get the fuck over the use of curse words in this series. While certainly some instances in this show felt awkward, the use of the word “fuck” does not dilute Star Trek’s overall story.

(It would have made earlier season’s funnier for sure.)

Now that that’s out of way let’s get into the real reasons that, for me at least, the series fell short of an otherwise promising goal of delivering great new Star Trek.

The main problem stems from the series overall jumping off point in its first episode. Picard is understandably still upset about the death of Data and having him deal with survivor’s guilt is a great way to bring this character into the future and reexplore the humanist viewpoints Data touched on in the older series. But also having Picard deal with his fallout from Starfleet, both from the synth ban AND the Romulan exodus, creates chasmic diverging plotlines that never quite come together. The story really needed it to be one or the other. Either Picard wanting to advocate for the continued existence of synthetic life or the rescue of the Romulans post super nova. The latter is touched on a bit through the addition of the character Elnor but doesn’t quite work given that majority of the Romulans in this series are portrayed as villains.

There is definitely a post Brexit, anti-immigrant hysteria message being told there but not enough depth and nuance is given to make it look like Starfleet was particularly wrong here to abandon them given that they do end up being spies committing espionage in the Federation and the clear villains of the first season. The showrunners could have brought these two stories together by perhaps making Soji a Romulan bent on bringing down synthetic life because maybe her twin sister died in the riots on Mars, making Picard have to choose between his commitment to both minority groups abandoned by the Federation but of course, that’s not what the series goes with.

Also suddenly shoehorning in a convoluted anti-synth worldview into the already ultra-secretive Romulan empire was muddled to say the least.

(A decent summation of the Romulans, pretty much ever. Also why is the only Asian actress in this scene in Osaka depicted as an alien, Mr Kurtzman?...)

Some of these ideas could’ve been saved through better editing and pacing though but not enough is done in this first season to mitigate these issues. Too much of plot is told through plain exposition; people sitting down and talking for five-ten minutes about prophecies and backstory instead of having the story simply show us instead. It makes the pacing often slow even by Trek standards and grinds the action to a halt even when there are lasers being shot at one another in the next scene.

Many of these plots get barely any attention too. The Borg cube, why it’s abandoned, and why Hugh is working for the Romulans through the Federation is given surface level development at best. Seven of Nine returns and at one point is momentarily hooked up to the Collective and she doesn’t really say much about it after it happens. The new character’s Rios and Raffi both have side stories given to their development that get touched on once and never brought up again. Dr. Jurati straight up murders her lover and is set to turn herself into the Federation and it’s just kind of forgotten about in the finale. And Elnor, well, he gets to do his best Legolas impression slicing and dicing fellow Romulans with his sword I guess.

(He is still best boi though :3...)

The main co-star however, Soji the perfect android, has a particularly rushed development going from a scientist unknowing of her nature, to supposed prophet of doom, to predictably the savior all in one season. Her arc needed more time to develop with perhaps her Romulan love affair with Narek being the first season’s main driving force and her realization as an android being the climax. 

Instead we get basically four seasons of Battlestar Galactica’s Sharon arc crammed into one season and it unfortunately makes the story feel half-baked.

(Ok, Boomer.)

Don’t get the wrong idea, all these new characters have great individual moments as well throughout the season but sooooo much side plot is shoved in already into a muddled overarching narrative that it feels like several seasons worth of storytelling stuffed and edited down into a ten episode arc. Why the series felt it needed to conclude this robust story about synth hating Romulans in “Picard’s” first season feels like an unforced error in this reviewer’s opinion even if Sir P Stew only has maybe a couple seasons of extensive acting left in him anyways.

But the season isn’t completely worthless, as much as this review has been spent dunking on its less than stellar parts. The cast is exceptional, even working with the spare parts they’ve been given. Episode 5’s “Stardust City Rag,” in particular, stands out as a good mix of old and new Trek, with a decent dosage of cheese featuring Patrick Stewart trying on a French accent in a space bar. Santiago Cabrera is delightful as the ship captain Rios while also playing various forms of himself in AI form in equally enjoyable roles. Evan Evagora is fun as the deadly yet somewhat aloof Elnor, even if his character doesn’t do all that much except cut up a few Romulans. Seeing Jonathan Frakes and Marina Sirtis reprise their roles as Riker and Troi respectively in episode 6 was heartwarming and felt the most like TNG out of all the episodes. And Jeri Ryan seems liberated in this series in this version of Seven of Nine, no doubt glad to be rid of that restrictive corset and Rick Berman’s meddling hands.

(Big “Fuck you, Rick Berman” energy going on in this scene.)

The production value is obviously high level as Trek has rarely looked this good on the small screen. There’s some great cinematography throughout the season whether it’s Picard’s chateau winery, the haunting nature of the Borg cube, or the synth homeworld in the season’s final beats. The spaceships look cool as always and the world of the future feels well futuristic.

The musical score is also top notch, with a great opening theme that feels very much in line with Trek at its futurist glimpse into a hopeful cosmos.

The season’s best moments though are between Picard and Data and will remind you why they were more than likely your favorite characters on TNG. Generally speaking, exploring the humanist themes of artificial intelligence in new Trek was a good choice and having Picard deal with survivor’s guilt kept the pulse of the muddled story still beating. Brent Spiner is still great as Data and will remind you all again how talented he has always been as an actor and though his age seeps through the makeup a bit he is nonetheless still a perfect android.

Though the finale as a whole is underwhelming, the characters do share a nice final moment that is both touching and reminiscent of everything a fan loves about Star Trek. It’s a great cap to an otherwise ok return to Star Trek for TNG’s top characters and its truly touching in the best way that this franchise has always been known to be.

(Deactivating my emotions chip because I just..can’t! I just can’t, ok! *Sobs*)

But great acting and high production value can only mask so many flaws with a convoluted plot and “Picard” unfortunately suffers from the bloated and uncooked nature of its many ideas. What the story really needed was three season arc not just ten episodes and it shows. I guess the plus side is with this particular plot wrapped up it leaves the door open for new ideas and a fresh start in the second season but it does feel like an overall miss for Picard’s homecoming back into the universe of Star Trek.

Overall, though there are worse ways a Star Trek fan can spend their quarantine than watching “Picard” and there’s certainly enough here for fans to latch onto and have hope for better things in the next season.

Hopefully things are less rushed or at least more focused in the second season and we can see a more proper return to form for both Picard and future Star Trek.

Here’s hoping the producers and writers make it so…

VERDICT:

3 out of 5

Let’s hope we get a return of Q in the next season.

[vivienncs]

❧ make sure you KISS your fist before you PUNCH me in the face ❧

❝  Forgiveness is a war between the head and the heart and my body is a battleground. This is how it ends. I'm built of speed but nobody ever taught me how to back down. I wouldn't know how to outrun a war. ❞

BRIANNE TJU? No, that’s actually VIVIENNE ‘VIV’ CHANG from the NEXT GENERATION ERA. You know, the child of CHO CHANG and NICO TEJA? Only 21 years old, this GRYFFINDOR alumni works as an INDEPENDENT CURSEBREAKER and is sided with THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX. SHE identifies as a CIS WOMAN and is a HALFBLOOD who is known to be CRITICAL, ABRASIVE, and UNFORGIVING but also DAUNTLESS, UNSTOPPABLE, and QUICK-WITTED. — &&. ( JANE, NZT, SHE/HER, 22. )

hellooooo this is jane

viv’s pinterest is here!!! ( she also has a smaller section HERE in my general quantum leap board ) 

viv is mostly a chaotic competitive

this is the girl who decided to try in her classes bc some asshole annoyed her and she decided the appropriate response was to beat him at everything he loves so

anyway it worked out! she found the academic half of her nerdjock truth and ended up taking way too many fucking newts and owls

her history of magic project in sixth year was about how the founders are fake/fables (the real people still existed probs but certainly the names and traits make more sense as fables and anyway surnames didn’t exist like that at the time and she has a lot of points and i bet someone tells her it’s a dumb idea so she devotes herself to it as her history of magic project) so get ready for her to tell u about that if she remotely values ur academic opinions/thoughts

tiny™

like 4′11″

maybe she’s hit 5′0″ now that she’s twenty one (good grief) but chances are no... also wouldn’t make a difference anyway —- she’d be an inch closer to some people and still over a foot shorter than her bf

she was a chaser for gryffindor from a young age, and until she was in sixth year, she’d really intended on playing professionally and had been involved in the sport from her youth, playing in younger leagues and being part of professional youth teams during her hogwarts years. it’s something she’s still v passionate about, but what it really comes down to is that when she was having her academic careers meeting in fifth year, she realised: there were other things she equally wanted to do with her life. before that moment, it had never really been framed that way, like there was anything else she cared enough about to do for the rest of her life, that there was anything else she was good enough to do, but after that meeting and during the months following, she really came to understand that while her notable speed and physicality would always be things she connected to, she truly loved history and academia, and the theory of magic (as well as the practical execution of curses / unravelling them), and something about combining those aspects with her determined and dauntless spirit set her on track for cursebreaking (independently —- we aren’t here for destroying magics of antiquity and other cultures for capitalism n banks y’all)

don’t fuck w her gals 

will break ur nose and not apologise

will help lily bury a body if need be

cho is younger child of weisheng chang, who was brother to jia chang, mother to marlene mckinnon —- marlene and cho were cousins, except marls died when cho was a baby, rip (jia was younger and had her children when she was young, whereas weisheng had them later in life, and cho was his younger child). seeing as jia’s estrangement from their family was due to their parents and weisheng had no beef with her, they reconnected properly a few years before the mckinnons died (except now marlene is alive again, adult!cho’s popped out of existence, and viv’s now got a teenage mother who doesn’t know her and also her mother’s dead war hero of a cousin. it’s a Time™ aight)

in fourth, year she once paid the quidditch commentator a galleon to call al “prefect potter” during an entire game and her defence to her mother was “listen he likes it and anyway it’s re-establishing his authority and reminding all the youths which one he is, as if they could forget a walking mountain”

(she does call him prefect potter)

v ride or die

loves dogs and magical creatures, hates birds and cats

just…. she’s tiny but believe she will fling herself at u if need be

an aries!! god no wonder she’s so competitive

SUUUUUPER into types of magic and magical knowledge like girl took way too many owls just bc she’s so fascinated in the nature of magic and how it can be used and magic from other cultures bc of how magical linguistics work and it definitely fed into her becoming a cursebreaker

v loyal friend but also highkey has excellent side eye for when ur being a dumbass

loves sugar quills and chaos

tends to take her time on some issues bc logically she sees pros and cons from both sides but when she makes an Emotional Decision™ on it, she’ll stand by it. until then, it’s mostly deliberating from a logical standpoint, which is prone to change with new info (things like joining the order tho are like… in her opinion, there’s nothing to debate with that?? like, that was the obvious right choice, it’s not something less clear cut)

dropped herbology and astronomy so fuckin quick after fifth year —- she liked neville a lot, but herbology is just not her cup of tea

stans viktor krum so fuckin hard

she has wanted connections that i will Think About More And Post but i have to send my ass to sleep asap

[ parental death tw ] her mum raised her by herself at first and then reconnected with her dad but he died when viv was about ten [ end parental death tw ]

scottish (always lived in glasgow area)

“swearing in a scottish accent is patriotic, minerva”

recalcitrant, reckless, harsh, impatient, unforgiving, highly critical, abrasive, sharp-tongued, blunt, not... super comforting

but also: loyal, ferocious, tough, determined, dauntless, quick-witted, unflinching, clever, dedicated, wry, perceptive, protective

currently dating al potter, timeline tbd (but recent-ish), lives w lily potter

travelled a bit/was in and out of the uk during her training but is Firmly Back Now other than any work trip she may have

re: time clash —- oof. ooooof. ok. well, not thrilled that her mother has, for all intents and purposes, disappeared. she realises that the cho currently around is literally her mother, but also she very much isn’t, and it’s a weird situation. trying to be there for her though, and also marlene & other mckinnons who have popped up, though from what she’s heard abt the mckinnon side of marlene’s family, she’s not super inclined to be welcoming (touched on in marls’ bio, but seeing as that’s only linked in discord bc her intro is still drafted for now, tl;dr is that the mckinnon grandparents were racist, mostly in the like... ‘i voted for obama!! how can i be racist, even w all these microaggressions??’ sorta way, though there were a few more Explicit Incidents). still, having her family around is weird, but it’s far, far from the worst of it all.

really interested in the actual logistics of the timeclash and is someone who is thinking abt the logical progressions that can occur from here, but also —- in line w being unforgiving, she’s... in theory, she does agree with the idea that you can’t punish someone for something they haven’t done yet. but she looks at people like theodore nott & peter pettigrew & that just burns away, and all the theory and thoughts go out the fucking window and she wants to step on them and grind them to dust with her heel.

character parallels: holly short (artemis fowl), maya hart (gmw), elizabeth swann (potc), zoë nightshade (pjo), leia organa (star wars), thalia grace (pjo), kat stratford (10 things i hate about you), patty (she’s out of my league), xena (xena warrior princess), paris geller (gilmore girls), isabelle lightwood (the shadowhunter chronicles), hands holloway (accepted), drainpipe edwards (vinyl 2012), james rhodes (marvel), and apparently fuckin’ legolas greenleaf lmfaaaaaaao [ many of these r from charactour so... watch me add some as actual ones come to mind, probably ]