#don't blame me if you're brain explodes

[captainadwen]

Damian Wayne vs the World

Sixteen year old Damian Wayne is on the hunt for a younger sibling. Being more discerning than Bruce 'child collector' Wayne, Damian's firm criteria for Batman's latest adoption problem includes but is not limited to: black haired, blue-eyed, tolerable humor, not evil, and most importantly - younger than Damian.

Lucky for him, fourteen year old newbie vigilante Danny Fenton is the perfect fit. Now, to fulfill his end of their deal, Damian must defeat the evil government organization hunting Danny in order to gain a baby brother.

Or, @livinghalfway your post made my brain go !! but in such a different way I figured it was better to make a separate post, hope you don't mind/enjoy still

~~

Damian Wayne re-entered Tim Drake's life like a gnat revealing itself in a closed bedroom space. Tim was in t-shirt and a boxers, maneuvering ramen into his mouth with one hand and scribbling out an epiphany on a murder case with another, when Damian's demonic dulcet voice echoed down from the ceiling. "Drake," said Damian, judgemental, "You live like this?"

Tim nearly choked on his ramen, because the day Damian doesn't attempt to murder him - however doubtfully accidental this incident might be - is the day Darkseid decides to be friends with the Justice League. "Fucking knock," Tim coughed out. "And get out. No one invited you in."

"Put better traps if you don't want me here," said Damian, dropping from the ceiling where he'd crawled in on wall-clamps.

"This is my apartment," said Tim. "It's called courtesy."

Damian sniffed. He padded around to Tim's desk and frowns at his cases, then said, with no further lead up, "I need your assistance."

"No," said Tim.

"You did not even listen to my request."

"Don't need to," said Tim. "Answer's still no. Door is that way. Bye."

"Father says mutually assisting each other is beneficial," said Damian.

"Father," said Tim sarcastically, "blamed me for you exploding a glitter bomb in the batcave two weeks ago."

"That is your fault for not being able to provide evidence to the contrary in an appropriately efficient manner," said Damian. He squinted down at Tim. "And he apologized. Eventually."

"I would not have glittered the batcomputer," said Tim. "Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to backup those servers? No, because you don't like tech work, you just profit off it."

"Blaming me for Father's mistake," said Damian, "Most mature of you. But we must put our differences aside. I have selected a new family member and I need you to dismantle a government organization."

That drew Tim up short. He blinked down at his ramen as though it might explain Damian's words to him, but the ramen remained disappointingly uninformative. "Repeat that," said Tim, gesturing with his chopsticks. "Slower, and with more detail."

Damian pulled out his phone and sent him an email. Silence surrounded them in the brief moment it took Tim to set aside his chopsticks and open the email. The subject line was titled 'New Baby Brother', which birthed all sorts of horrifying nightmares of Damian Part 2: Demon Child Boogaloo. The teen in the inserted picture, however, was reassuringly not in possession of Damian's bone structure.

He did have black hair and blue eyes. "Who am I looking at?" asked Tim.

"Daniel Fenton," said Damian. "He is fourteen years old, enjoys puns, and has recently awakened 'ghost powers' that allow him to transform into the vigilante Phantom to fight other ghosts."

"Is he also an orphan with a tragic backstory?"

"No," said Damian, and Tim relaxed. "But that will not be an issue. We can share custody if they cannot be removed from the picture."

"Jesus H, kid."

"I am joking, of course," said Damian blandly. "Murder is wrong."

"Ha ha," said Tim. "If he has parents already he's not joining our menagerie."

"He will," said Damian, with a smug upwards tilt of his lips. "He and I have a deal."

"So you're coercing him in addition to stalking him. Anything else you want to share with the class?"

Damian considered this query with a serious frown, which was how Tim knew this was not a flight of fancy or a very early midlife crisis (although with their lifestyle and Damian already having died before...).

"He has," said Damian after a moment, "a rogue that calls himself 'The Master of all Technology' and is a technopath." This was clearly meant to be of interest to Tim, and not to be a stereotype, but it kind of was.

"Great." Tim turned his attention back to the email the demon child sent him. He scanned through it quickly. There was apparently a secret and evil government organization dedicated to the investigation and extermination of 'ghosts' and other paranormal creatures in the world. Their latest efforts were focused on the town of Amity Park, Illinois, which was 'infested with ectoplasmic pests'. Their words, not Damian's. (It was specified in the email.)

"Okay," Tim drummed his fingers against his desk. "Before I help you defeat this secret evil government organization so that," he opened the email attachment with a contract on it and squinted at the legalese, "this poor newbie teen you've harassed into signing this joins the family in exchange."

"I did not harass him," Damian huffed. "It was a gentleman's agreement."

"Does he know that?"

"I am not a politician, Drake. I thoroughly explained the terms and legalities before presenting any contract. Now ask your question."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because," said Damian, tone implying 'you are stupid and haven't noticed something obvious, idiot'. "Father has begun saying he misses the noise around the manor and looking wistfully at old pictures."

"We still live there though?" said Tim. Damian looked flatly at him. "Sometimes."

"If you lived there frequently enough," said Damian, "you would already know Father is having...empty nest syndrome." Damian sounded disgusted. "I refuse to tolerate whatever inadequate and incompetent child he will find."

"So instead you found an incompetent and inadequate child for him?"

"Don't be stupid, Drake," said Damian. "I would not have chosen someone inadequate. Daniel is merely lacking formal training. Father can rectify this. It will keep him occupied for at least the next two to four years, which gives me enough time to find another black-haired, blue-eyed, tolerable child I approve of to be his successor and my second younger sibling." Damian paused. "Or until one of you procreates and gives him a grandchild."

"You're really serious about this," Tim whispered in horrified awe.

"I am serious about everything I do," said Damian. "Now, you will help me defeat this evil government organization so that our new sibling joins us."

"Okay," said Tim, but his mind snagged on a minor, throwaway detail, so utterly in odds with Damian 'Demonic Jealous Child' Al Ghul it surely came from another person - "Did you just call this kid your successor?"

[satowooo]

kiss it better

Suguru always hated it when you break up with him when you're having a mental breakdown. So what's he gonna do to make his baby feel better?

contents. slight academic rivals to lovers (barely mentioned), suguru x reader, eventual smut, fluff, cowgirl, bottom suguru, slapping, rough sex, pet names, degration, not proofread.

Do what you gotta do, keep me up all night.

your relationship with suguru became on and off ever since you two started dating. he could vaguely remember why, but he knows one thing.

your relationship with him started off as enemies. he remembers how you were always so angry at him, your bratiness showing every time he was a step further than you in academics.

being a straight A student is something that he likes to brag about, knowing that you're right there to keep him on his toes because you're just as smart as him. he knows how you tire yourself to study every night and day, sleeping and almost living in the library whenever an exam week is coming, never going out of your room and not eating until you understood and memorized all your notes, and how you'd never talk to him the whole time you're busy studying. and what does he hates the most? you breaking up with him for it.

you're a top student, but you're always in second place because he beats you to it. it never fails to make you upset, but you don't really blame suguru for being good at what he does. rather, you blame yourself for not studying enough as if your brain is already not about to explode for every information that you try to force into your brain.

and suguru hates it enough that you have to break up with him just for you to torture yourself in the confines of your room with all the papers and academic works controlling over your body and mind. he hates it everytime because he knows how hard you are being to yourself.

“baby, i’m coming inside, okay?” suguru called outside your door after knocking several times. he didn't wait for another answer as he twists the knob, pushing the door open.

“suguru, no-”

he heard your sniffles. and his heart ache at the sight before him.

you were sitting at your study desk. papers scattered around in a mess, some of it drenched in your tears. your eyes reddened, and you looked at him in frustration as you stood up.

“i told you to leave me alone, suguru.” you said, wiping your tear stained cheek.

he looks over at your bed, to the crumpled sheets, feathers flying around from your pillow, knowing that you probably had been punching it in your frustration. he sighs and walks over to you, immediately cupping your cheeks to look you in the eyes.

“you think breaking up with me would solve the problem?” he whispers softly, kissing your eyes, your tears.

you looked away, tilting your head to the side so as to not look at him. “it's for the better. you're only distracting me from my studies.”

he closed his eyes tightly, before holding your jaw so you could face him properly. your hands clutched his shirt at the proximity between you. “i’m distracting you?” your words sting, his heart clenching at the way you're trying so hard to push him away. but he wouldn't have all that. “come on. i know you're mad. punish me then.”

“suguru-”

“i always tell you that i’m here to help. but you're too hard headed to ask for it.” his tone was firm, his eyes turning dark at the way you tried to get away from his grasp. he lets out an exasperated breath before loosening his grip from you. “don't hurt yourself, baby. hurt me instead.”

“suguru, you don't understand. i am angry, fine, i admit.” the grip you had on his shirt tightened, a shaky breath escaping from your lip as tears started to form on your eyes again. “i don’t want to take it out on you when i’m clearly a mess, suguru. you don't get it because you're always too good and i’m not enough. i can't be enough for you if i’m like this-”

once again, suguru cut you off. your words flying off his ear as he interrupted you with a fierce kiss. his tongue darting out for entrance and you didn't push him away. your words muffled from the way he pressed his lips, making you shut up and revel onto your desires as your lips parted, your tongue delving out to taste him.

all your worries easily slipped away. his thumb swiftly wiping the tear that escaped your eyes while not breaking the kiss. he pulled away for a moment before capturing it once again, this time gentler than the first.

to suguru, it was always the same words no matter how much he reassured you. so what's he going to do? make you feel like the queen you deserved to be.

“come on, princess. just like that.” he grunted, his hand gripping on your hips as he slammed you down on his cock. “come on, tell me how mad you are right now. let me hear you.”

“f-fuck you, suguru…” you gasps, your hips rocking back and forth deliciously on his shaft. your teeth were clenched in frustration, your anger still brewing inside your heart by the way he had you easily straddling him.

“that's it, baby. let it out, let it all out on me.” he coos, gently running his fingers on your spine. the action sent shivers all over your body, your thrust rapidly increasing by each second. “you're so mad, aren't you? you don't like it when i'm doing good?”

"s-stop... ahh..." you huffed, face flushed as your pussy clenched around him. your hips were beginning to ache for how harsh you were slamming against his lap. and he had that annoying look on his face that got you riled up.

you know exactly what he's trying to do. suguru wants a reaction. for you to let it out on him. to be mad at him instead of being mad at yourself.

he gripped your ass firmly, a knowing smirk etched on his lip. “do i make you cry, princess? because i’m better? in studies… and even in fucking you?”

that definitely strikes a nerve right there. your pace increasing, your nails digging on his shoulder from how hard you're holding onto him. “shut up… sh-shut up…”

“that all you got?” he said darkly, sweat forming in his forehead. he gave your ass a firm squeeze before landing a smack, making you jolt in pleasure. “you're so fucking pathetic, princess. you're really crying over that? you look so fucking dumb with my cock inside-”

a harsh slap on his cheek echoed all over the room. your breathing coming in short gasps, while suguru was smiling. he was fucking smiling.

the slap reddened his cheek but it didn't even look like it hurt him. he huffed and squeezed your hip. suguru was drowned in pure bliss as he groaned, your hips thrusting so harshly, squeezing his cock like there's no tomorrow.

“fuck, baby…” he growled, the sting of your slap erotic and pleasurable that it got him ramming his hip upward. you could see the veins on his neck popping out, his eyes darkening as his fingers found your breasts. “fuck y-yeah… do that again, hm? show me how much you fucking hate me…”

you moaned, your back arching and body pressing against his chest. his lips latched on your nipple, while his other hand found your clit. he rubbed circles against it, making you cry and scratch your nails on his chest.

“you’re so worked up for all your studies, and for what?” he sneered, chuckling darkly at you. you bit your lip as another slap went across his cheek, feeling all the anger forcing its way to give him what he wants. you knew damn well that suguru was enjoying on riling you up, coaxing you to take it out on him by saying those words that he knew would gain the right reaction that he needs.

“fuck you, sugu… f-fuck you…”

“doing so well for me, baby.” he leaned forward to capture your lips, his lips grazing your earlobe. “you can do more than that, don't you?”

your thrusts became more erratic as his voice rang over your ears. you grabbed a handful of his hair, tugging it down so he could look at you. your face was a mix of both anger and pleasure, a sight that made suguru feel more aroused. he groaned as your hand flew over on his cheek again, his eyes glistening with lust.

“ohh, f-fuck!” the thumb on your clit increased its pace, as slaps after slaps on his face kept coming, eager to erase that stupid grin on his lips.

suguru grunted, his moans getting louder each second that it syncs with your sounds. your hand traveled up his throat, pressing on gently enough to restrict his breathing.

he let out a strangled laugh causing you to land another slap on his face. he can't believe that he felt so fucked out, enjoying the pleasure and roughness that you were giving him. the angered look on your face made his cock twitch inside you.

your hips thrusts up and down. up and down. unrelenting. it became frantic as his cock hit your right spots, driving you wild in ecstasy.

he could feel your pussy clenching around his cock, your thrusts became more urgent, your gripped on his neck beginning to tighten. his eyes were tied shut, suguru’s chest heaving as your wetness engulfed his cock.

“i’m cumming, baby. f-fuck, you gon’ cum, princess? you're doing so good- f-fucking hell…”

he hears your whines. his name rolling out of your tongue in desperation to reach your high. he bucked his hips, thrusting forward to meet yours, pistoning in and out furiously as the pleasure built up.

“suguru! ahh! hhk-” your hips shattered, your body convulsing with your orgasm reaching its peak. suguru let out a growl in pleasure, his hands squeezing your ass firmly. his own orgasm quickly approached, hot semen spurting right inside your sweet hole.

he breathes heavily, thrusting his cum right inside you slowly, making sure that nothing would come to waste. your hands released his neck, seeing how it turned red by the way you gripped so harshly. even his face was all flushed from all the slapping you did, with a small bruise forming on his temple, but suguru had a grin on his face.

his hair disheveled, chest heaving as you both catch your breaths. “still mad, baby?”

you shake your head, looking at him apologetically. “not anymore. i’m sorry, did i hit you too hard?”

suguru chuckled, his eyes half-lidded from the pleasure you just gave him. he took your hand in his, kissing your palm softly. “i fucking loved it, baby.”

he looks at you lovingly. suguru has already memorized you like the back of his hands, from your body to your heart and beneath your soul. and he'll do anything to make you feel better, to make you feel loved and cared for. he adores you so much that he wouldn't allow letting your insecurities pull you down.

suguru holds your hips, rocking yourself gently on his cock. your eyes rolling back, a soft moan escaping from your lips. he smiled, resting his head on the crook of your neck. “you're enough, baby. always remember that, okay?” he looked up at you before placing a kiss on your forehead. you basked into the aftermath of your lovemaking, your head falling on his chest as you nodded at his words. “don't ever doubt your abilities. failure is inevitable, it's a part of ourselves that symbolizes the efforts we do for trying.” suguru whispers, gently placing kisses all over your face. “and i love you for all your flaws and failures. don't ever think that you're not enough for me.”

🙂‍↕️ i genuinely want to make an academic rivals to lovers fic/series with suguru

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

not sure if you’re taking requests !! but if you are, on my knees 🧎🏻‍♀️and here to kindly request a drunk no doubt! Jake who is a PEAK LOVEY DOVEY DRUNK when he gets home (or refuses to leave unless yn is picking his ass up lol) 🫶🏼

HIII ugh one of my og jakeyn lovers i appreciate u so so so much & all ur comments & love ALWAYS <3333 and YES OH MY GOD i can totally imagine it rn DRUNK JAKE WOULD BE SO CLINGY AND SO CHEESY AND LOVEY DOVEY IM GONNA BE SICK. also this one ended up being longer than my usual requested drabbles WHOOPS SORRY I JUST LOVE SIMP JAKE UGH 😫

──── MY ANGEL, MY UBER, MY EVERYTHING.🍸🍋🌿 ↳ requested // part of the no doubt series !

You hear it first before your eyes even open.

A loud buzz, obnoxiously close to your head. You groan, your arm flailing out from under the comforter to mute your phone off and go back to sleep.

And not even three seconds later—

Buzz. Buzz.

You groan into your pillow.

One eye cracks open just enough to glance at the screen:

jungwon👯

Yeah.

This can't be good.

You answer with a sleepy grumble, "What."

"Heyyyy Y/N," Jungwon says, way too chipper and lively for your liking at this hour. "Sooo...you might wanna come pick up your boyfriend."

You blink slowly, brain still foggy with sleep.

"Huh."

"Jake's, um. Very drunk. And refusing to leave unless it's with you."

You stare at the ceiling above, deadpan, "You're joking."

"I wish," Jungwon sighs, sounding both amused and exasperated at the same time. "We tried everythin—"

A crash. A muffled ow. Some rustling. Then—

"WAIT—ARE YOU TALKING TO Y/N?"

Jungwon groans. "Jake—no, don't—hey, Jake, that's my—dude, give me my ph—JAKE—"

"BABY."

Jake's voice explodes through the speaker.

"BABY I NEED YOU. PLEASE."

You blink at your phone, now fully awake. And fully amused.

"Jake—"

"They're trying to make me go home to the dorm," he slurs dramatically. "Like—to my own room. Alone. WITHOUT YOU."

"Jake, you live with me," you giggle, already climbing out of bed and reaching for your hoodie. "You'll be fine."

"NO. I won't. I wanna be in our bed. With my girl. Smelling like your vanilla shampoo and on your comfy silk sheets. Please. It's a basic human right."

You're full-on giggling now, navigating through your dark room for your keys, because—

Unfortunately, you're in love with him and will do anything for this poor guy.

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Just hang tight and give Jungwon his phone back okay?"

Twenty minutes later, you're outside the bar Jungwon texted you the address to.

And then you see him.

Slumped against the wall, tie crooked, shirt loosened, hair falling over his forehead. His eyes are glassy and pink-tinted, cheeks flushed, ears red.

Sunghoon stands next to him, one arm outstretched to keep Jake upright, while Jay's trying to press a water bottle into his lips.

Then—

Jake looks up.

"BABY!!!"

He launches off the wall. Slightly pushes Sunghoon and Jay off. Trips over his own feet. Nearly collapses straight into you.

"Oh my god, Jake," you're giggling, catching him as he immediately melts into you, burying his face into your shoulder.

He smells like beer and cologne and Jake—his entire body warm and heavy as he wraps himself around you.

"You're here," he mumbles into your hoodie, relieved. "I told them. I told them you'd be here. Said my girl's gonna come for me. She always comes for me."

You glance over his shoulder. Sunghoon looks three seconds away from joining Heeseung, slumped on the sidewalk. Jay's already walking away.

"What happened to this being a wholesome group dinner outing?" you ask dryly, lifting a brow as you still try to stay balanced under Jake's full body weight wrapped around you.

"Don't blame me," Jungwon shrugs, wide-eyed. "Not my fault your boyfriend's a lightweight."

And you can't even argue with that.

Given your current position.

You're convinced Jake fell asleep like this. Standing up. Hugging you.

"Okay, okay. Let's get you home," you say, amused as you wave bye to the rest of the guys and steer your mess of a boyfriend towards your car.

The drive back isn't any better.

Jake refuses to let go to you.

One hand wrapped around your arm. The other holding your hand that isn't on the wheel. Body stretched over the console. Head on your shoulder, a sleepy smile playing at his lips as the smell of alcohol still lingers on him.

"You're so pretty," he murmurs, nose brushing your neck. "Like, so pretty. That's why I call you my pretty. You're the prettiest thing I've ever seen. I'm gonna marry you."

You keep your eyes on the road, but you laugh softly, trying to keep up with his mumbled words, "You say that every time you're drunk, Jakey."

"And I mean it ever time I'm drunk," he pulls back just enough to look at you with a serious look, but it's more like a pout. "And sober. Drunk me. Sober me. Future me. Past me. I love you. Love you so much. You're my angel. My Uber. My everything. My—my forever girl."

You burst out in giggles, "Your Uber?"

"Yeah," he nods, grinning at your reaction. "You picked me up. Best Uber ever. And your car always smells good. Like peaches. Five stars. Infinite stars."

By the time you drag him into the apartment and finally in bed, he's still clinging onto you, professing his love endlessly between hiccups and yawns.

"Pretty," he whispers, his nose nuzzling into your hair, breath warm against your skin. "M'gonna marry you. You know that right? You know I love you? So perfect. My girl."

And you're a goner. Completely wrecked.

"I know, Jakey," you smile, stroking his hair as his breathing slows. "I know."

And you do.

Because drunk or not—Sim Jaeyun is the realest thing you've ever known.

And he means every word.

no doubt m. list

tag list! pt. 1 (open)

@bluxjun @ki2rins @why-did-i-just-do-this @favoritten @lovialymisc @xylatox @vivimura @leehsngs @puma-riki @lezzleeferguson-120 @enhaprettystars @laurradoesloveu @sievenderz @somuchdard @kristynaah @hinryh @ltfirecracker @lov4hoon @taeheexx @niyzu @chunkzdeluluwife @jakeflvrz @fangirl125reader @0429jw @dreamy-carat @yuons @thestarinstarbucks @miszes @llearlert @ppeachyttae @hoomin10 @teddybeartaetae @tanisha2060 @therealmrsbahng @beomgyu-bears @ikeulove @jiyeons-closet @youngheejay @wxnderingthoughts @fuevrois @soobundle1009 @isoobie @enhypenova @zoemeltigloos @lizdevorak @deluluscenarios @bloomiize @hasuyv @ijustwannareadstuff20 @veilstqr @dreamiestay @jakeyyyjakexoxo

[reiderwriter]

😝 brain rot from my character ai scenario… the team goes out to a bar to celebrate and you wear a tiny little dress (just to rile him up obvi) but you also end up attracting a lot of male attentionand he gets SO jealous and protective of you he’s like sitting off to the side just watching you flirt with everyone and the team is like “he looks like hes gonna explode wtf” and then the SMUT HES ALL “they can’t have you, you’re all mine” “you really like all the attention huh? i’ll give you what you wanted” OMG it’s making me crazy i hope i described it good enough 🥰🥰

A/N: Is it really a reiderwriter smut if I don't have to clarify that 'I got carried away' at some point in the authors note? No, it is not. Thank you for the request. My brain is now equally rotted, oops.

Warnings: complaints, dirty talk, semi public sexual activity, partial voyeurism, fingering, hard/rough sex.

You weren't even dating.

Which made the situation even more frustrating for Spencer, and even more exciting for you. 

You'd always flirted with the man a lot, had been told multiple times to knock it off even after getting a little too close for comfort on a case. 

But you couldn't really blame yourself on that one. You'd had to do a quick takedown at a dive bar, and you'd been tasked with pretending to be a touchy couple at the bar to block the back entrance at the staff entrance. 

You'd draped yourself all over him, allowing yourself to get closer than you'd ever been before. 

If you'd just happened to let your hands fall down to his crotch, it was pure coincidence. So was giving his obviously erect length a few strokes through his jeans as he sat staring at you like you were his last meal and he was back in prison. 

Emily had to pull you aside after that one personally. 

You knew she was protective of Spencer, seeing him as a little brother, but it seemed like she was more protective of you at that moment. 

“Are you sure you know what you're doing?” She'd asked, waiting carefully for your answer before she said anything more. 

Two could play at that game. “What is this concerning?” 

“With Spencer.” 

“I'm not sure what you mean, Emily.”

“Yes, you do. Listen, I don't care what you get up to in your personal life, but Spencer has a way of making others feel very… seen. He can get protective and pushy. And I just want to know you're ready for that, and you're not going to let it affect your work.”

“Is Spencer having the same talk?” 

She laughed at that. 

“Spencer? No. I already know it's going to affect his work, because it has since you joined our team. He still gets his job done, but I know where his priorities would lie if there were an emergency.” 

You'd shivered at that and excused yourself. 

If he was that obsessed with you, why had he not told you? Stepped over that line from friends to more than that?

You needed to force the issue, and you had the perfect opportunity when Penelope invited you out for drinks. 

“Y/N! Don't go, it's Friday night, we-” she said gesturing wildly to the team gathered around you, “are going to a bar. No, you can't rain check either.” 

“Can I at least get changed first?” 

“You need to get changed. We're going to a nice bar, Y/N.” Running off again to grab the rest of your team members and force their attendance, you grinned after Penelope. 

It was time to see exactly how focused on you Spencer Reid was.

And how willing he was to let you slip through his fingers.

An hour later, you were stepping out of your taxi, pulling your skirt down as you did. The short black dress had a terrible habit of pulling up your thighs to flash your underwear at anyone in a 10 foot radius. Usually, that bothered you, but tonight, you planned on using it to your advantage. 

After all, you'd left out the underwear tonight for a reason. 

Pulling your jacket around you tighter, you pushed the door to the bar open and scanned the room for your team members. 

“Y/N, over here!” Tara called you over, nursing a beer. Luke sat next to her, Penelope on his other side, and Matt on hers and completing the group was Spencer Reid. 

“Where are JJ and Emily?” You asked, doing your very best to ignore Spencer as you sat down next to him, practically falling into his warmth. You sat so close to him. 

“At the bar. Emily is convinced she can flirt her way to a free drink, and JJ is convinced she cannot. The girl she's working on now has to be 22 at most, so it could honestly go either way.” Penelope answered, and you felt Spencer shift slightly beside you. 

“Speak of the devil,” Luke said as the two women approached. 

“Well? What's the result?” You grinned up at them, letting your head fall back against Spencer’s shoulder as you gently rested your hand on his thigh. He sat silently for a minute, not moving and just taking in the conversation. 

“I've still got it.” Emily grinned triumphantly. 

“Maybe I should give it a try. There are a few hot male bartenders tonight. Who knows, I might score more than just a drink.” 

Spencer choked on the drink he was sipping as you spoke quickly, a few knowing looks passing between every other person at the table. You'd have to be blind to miss it. Or Spencer. 

“Spencer, are you okay? You should be careful, I wouldn't want you to choke. That's how I want to end my night, but it's not for everyone.” That one earned you a few snickers from the others and a glare from the man himself. 

“I'm fine, thank you, Y/N.” He smiled down at you and gave your knee a friendly tap that turned slightly less friendly as he pushed it further up your leg. 

The others had since averted their attentions, moving their conversation onto other things, but you and Spencer were still stuck in each other's orbits. 

Your heart beat faster until you were sure it could be seen, raw and fit to burst out of your chest. His fingertips brushed your hem. He was seconds away from realising that you were going to get the attention you wanted that night. 

Slipping just an inch up the hem, he twitched almost imperceptibly as he searched for your panty line, brows knitting when he couldn't find it. 

“What's wrong, Spencer? Searching for something that isn't there?” You enjoyed watching his frown deepen as he registered your words, but you enjoyed it even more when you gently pushed his hand away as you stood. 

“Well, I need a drink. Let's hope I can recreate your success, Emily.” You said, finally pushing off your jacket. The dress may have been short, but it was also low cut, burning the candle at both ends as your breasts threatened to spill over with any particularly deep breath. 

“Sweet lord in heaven! You didn't come to play tonight.” Penelope exclaimed, practically applauding your body as you twirled for her and showed off the form fitting dress, giggling all the way. 

“You said it was a nice bar, Penelope. I'm hoping there are also some very nice men here, too.” With a wink, you turned on your heel and strode to the bar, making sure your hips swung seductively with every step. 

You couldn't immediately give in and turn to see if he was watching you when you got to the bar, though, not willing to give him the satisfaction. You were doing it all for him, but you still didn't want him to know that.

It didn't take long for men to swarm you. They came one at a time, and you entertained them each as you waited for your unnecessarily complex cocktail order to be prepared. 

In the 7 minutes you'd been away from the table, you'd been approached by three separate men. They all tried lines on you, gave you their numbers and tried their best to woo you, but with Spencer’s eyes burning across your body as you leaned against the bar, you really couldn't have cared less. 

Still, you leaned in, giggled in the appropriate places, and took the numbers, knowing they'd never be called.

When your cocktail was finally ready, and the last one offered to fund it for you  You finally felt a hand at your back. 

“That won't be necessary, thank you.” Spencer ended the conversation, handing his own card over to the bartender as he kept his hand on your back, his body crowding yours. 

The man walked away in defeat, and you turned on him, sipping your drink as you refused to move away.

“Now why ruin all my fun, Spencer?” 

“You're really enjoying all this attention, huh?” He said, pushing your hair behind your ear as he leaned closer to you, his next word a whisper against your skin.

“I can see your pussy from all the way back there,” he said, tugging down your skirt slightly. You weren't surprised though  simply taking another sip and maintaining eye contact. 

“I know.” His hand, having slipped up to your waist, tightened as his gaze dropped to your lips. 

“You want everyone to see your dripping cunt? Want to let all the men here take a turn trying to catch your attention so they can slip in?” His voice was low, practically a growl as he licked his lips.

“No. I wanted to see how long it'd take you to come over and do it. By my count, that was eight minutes, correct?” 

“Good girl. Just remember that you're mine. I'm not letting anyone else have you.” Giving your face a gentle stroke, he let it trail down your body, subtly cupping and squeezing your chest on the way down. 

“All of a sudden, I feel very tired, Spencer. Take me home.” He wasted no time, grabbing your hand and gathering you up, your jacket and bag collected from the desk as he gave minimal answers to the others as you departed. To their credit, they asked minimal questions. 

The cold air hit you hard as you pushed the doors open again, but Spencer was unperturbed, pulling you over to his car silently, a strong hand on your shoulder helping you into the passenger's seat.

You dare not talk the entire drive to his apartment, so sure that any word from you would have him turning immediately to deposit you right back at the bar. 

He didn't, though, but he also didn't look at you or touch you. You sat squirming at the heavy atmosphere, suddenly desperate to know exactly what thoughts were trapped inside Spencer’s impressive brain. 

“We're here.” He announced, pulling up quickly and cutting the engine, climbing out in a hurry. 

You fumbled with your own seat belt as he pulled your door open, catching you up in his arms as he closed the door behind you. You wrapped your legs around his waist as your arms wrapped around his neck, letting him carry you up the stairs to his apartment.

His lips didn't meet yours until the door was firmly closed and locked behind you, and even then, he didn't immediately dive in. He out you down, and a touch of disappointment flooded your body as he completely entangled himself from you. 

It dissipated completely when his hand wrapped around your throat. 

“Let me be clear, Y/N. You are mine. If you want attention, I will give it to you. If you want to choke on something, I'm more than happy to provide it. If you want to dress like a little whore, go ahead, but don't forget who your sweet little cunt belongs to.” His fingers tightened with each word as you gasped for air, back resting on the nearest wall as his body pressed up along your own. 

“Do you understand?” He asked, and you nodded repeatedly, fast and desperate. 

“Good. Now, ass up on the bed. I'll meet you there.” You practically sprinted to the room in question, slinking up onto the bed. He said ass up, but you hesitated slightly as he quietly shut the bedroom door behind you, just long enough to earn a slap on your ass as he finally returned to your side. 

“You have to listen, Y/N. You wanted this, so you have to listen nicely.” 

“I'm sorry, Spencer, it won't happen aga-” He stole the end of your sentence as he slipped his fingers into you, gently working the two longest ones up into a frenzy as he finger fucked you. 

“Sorry, what was that? I don't think I quite caught your words.” You could only moan in reply as you buried your head in his pillows, ass pressing back into his fingers to help him get deeper.

“So needy. Look at this little black dress. You knew this was going to happen, right?” A third finger slipped inside you, and you screamed out in pleasure as he continued using you.

“Burying your head isn't going to work, Y/N. Your cunt is answering for you.” 

You heard the rattle of his belt unbuckling as his fingers finally slipped out, the emptiness only a relief for a second before his cock was hitting deep inside of you. 

Thoughts escaped you as you finally got what you'd been begging for for weeks. His every frustration was pounded into you as he tugged at your hair, pulling your torso up so he could hit even deeper. 

Pulling back your head with a hand on your throat he laid a barrage of kisses across your upper back and shoulders, making sure to bite and suck and nip as his spare hand toyed with your nipples, pinching and pulling. 

In a second, you reached your climax, not having the breath left in you to let him know before you tightened on his shaft and let your body fall limp under his hands. 

“I'm going to mop up our cum with this dress, Y/N, and then I'm going to make you put it back on.” With a final grunt, he pulled out, jerking his cock through his release as he shot his load right over your pussy lips. 

He collapsed on top of you, and you finally gave up your last bit of strength beneath him, enjoying the pressure of his weight pushing down on you again. 

“Thank god that worked,” you gasped, catching your breath. You smiled as he flipped you over and pulled the dress off your head, true to his word. 

“What worked, Y/N?” 

“This. You don't know the lengths I'd have gone to to get you yo finally fuck me if this hadn't worked.” 

“But suddenly, I'm curious, and I have all the time in the world.” You laughed lightly but snuggled into his chest again, meaning to sleep. 

“Unless you want to get dressed again now…?” 

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

When James had many things in his brain that he couldn't deal with he called only one person for advice. His mum.

People used to say he felt things too much and he was too dramatic. He was the kind of person to spot a problem, talk about it, find a solution and move on. He had managed to help his friends before. He was satisfied when they smiled in relief after a problem.

With time, it became harder to fix things. Or even harder to make his friends talk.

Right now, on top of many things in his brain like school, Headboy duties, Rugby, his father being sick, his relationship with Lily (the girl of his dreams), and the leaving the Marauders legacy to his minions, James was aware of other issues.

Sirius was a mess since he left The Blacks over the summer but pretended he was okay.

Sirius didn't talk to him like he used to.

They had gotten distant but Sirius was closer to Remus.

He knew now they were doing more than hanging since he saw them kissing the other day.

They didn't know he knew.

Remus was skipping classes because Sirius asked him. They smoked a lot already but they included weed when they mysteriously disappeared.

On top of that Peter was not okay. He barely ate but pretended it was not a big deal.

James knew Peter felt lonely and secretly blamed them for his breakup with Susan.

Maybe his crush on Mary was more than a crush.

Sirius hadn't told him things and he was not okay and James didn't know how to be there for him anymore and that was killing him.

He missed Sirius. He missed the Marauders.

Why didn't they hang out anymore?

"You know how The Marauders used to be close?" James told his mum over the phone. He missed his parents too.

"Yeah..."

"Well, we are not close anymore!" He was pacing around the dorm "Sirius and Remus are... doing their own things..." he couldn't tell their secret to his mum "Not quite productive things, I may add. I feel like Sirius is in the destructive mood. And I know the things he had gone through with his family. Not detailed because he didn't tell me, his best friend, he told you. But still it feels like he is a ticking bomb that will explode any second. I know he is sad, I know it. And Remus is there but he is too good to tell Sirius what is wrong. I should be there giving him advice and containing him but he doesn't let me. I want to be there for him, mum!"

"Oh honey..."

"And Peter, don't get me started with Peter. He is stubborn as it gets. He looks so lonely and I want him to feel special within The Marauders again. But is there any left? Are we a group again? Are we going to stop being friends forever?"

"James..."

"Remus is a good kid. He is part of the family at this point. But he had gone through so much, mum. Bullying and feeling different. We've gotten along better because he had helped me with Lily. And he listens. He listens about Lily and my problems which is fine. And I understand why Sirius would confine in him and not me. But why doesn't he trust me? I don't want to get jealous of Remus but maybe I am. What if I am, would that make me a bad person?"

"Bloody hell, James!" Effie exclaimed with a soft laugh.

"Sorry, was that too much?"

"I can feel the breeze you're provoking with your pacing from over the phone"

James stopped pacing, but he moved his leg.

"What do I do?" he asked "I miss my friends. I love my friends"

"Have you talked to them?"

"I've tried..." James sighed "They certainly think I am too intense sometimes"

"They don't think that"

"Peter literally said I'm intense the other day" James moaned "He used that word"

Effie was giggling on the phone which made James smile. He needed his mum so badly sometimes. Embarrassing for a seventeen-year-old, but true. Effie and Monty used to be the only people he told things. His best friends.

"James, darling" Effie said carefully "You know it's not your responsability to fix everything, right?"

"I know but I want to" James bit his lip "I just want to see the people that I love be okay"

"Honey, sometimes what people need is space" Effie added "And not all problems are fixable"

James took a deep breath. He wanted another kind of answer from his mother. Something optimistic like he was doing well and with the right amount of love, people were going to be happy.

"Do... you... am..." God, he had tears in his eyes already. He wanted to feel Effie's soft arms around him and smell her sweet perfume "Do ypu think they miss me as much as I do? Do you think they care? The Marauders are crumbling down"

"Jamie, you're growing up" his mother said "You boys will have more complex problems, and life is going to get difficult..."

"Well thanks..."

"And sometimes you might not be together or spend as much time as you used to"

James thought of the years to come, away from Hogwarts, each one of them living a different life. Was he going to lose them?

"That doesn't mean you stopped being friends"

"I want The Marauders back, I miss them"

Though that sounded immature. What did he want exactly? Pranks, jokes, immature bullying to others? He swore not to be that way anymore.

"This is hurting me. I wish I could tell them"

"Why don't you?"

"Like I said, mum. They have their stuff going on. They are not okay. And I have to be strong for them. I can't crumble. They need me. I need to think about them. Especially Sirius"

"You're golden, sweety" Effie sighed "But what about you? Who thinks about you? Or takes care of you?"

His immediate answer would be them, his parents. But he was not a little boy anymore.

"Your feelings are important" Effie carried on "Maybe if you talk to them and tell them how you feel, what worries you, they might take you in consideration..."

James was just about to cry when Sirius and Remus walked into the room giggling about something. Red eyes, they had been smoking again. Swollen lips, they had been probably snogging.

"You cannot help them if you are not happy, love"

"Amm... Okay, thanks mum, gotta go"

James hated it but he hung up before Effie asked to speak to Sirius. He couldn't bare Sirius telling her things again but not him.

"Hey!" he gave them a big smile "Where were you?"

"Around" Sirius shrugged. James wanted him to look him in the eye.

"By the lake" Remus clarified "Is a nice night"

"Was that Effie on the phone?" Sirius asked walking to his bed.

"Sure, she says hi" James answered quickly "And Pete?"

Both boys shrugged. They weren't aware of where they friends were anymore.

"So what did you guys do?"

It was obvious the quick glance between them and the complicent smile. James was no stupid.

"Amm... Chatted" Remus said "Not much"

Sirius nodded in agreement.

"Did you smoke weed?"

Sirius and Remus looked at each other and cracked a laugh. James tried not to be jealous of how they communicated so easily. He was thinking that Remus knew more about Sirius than him. And he hated that.

"Are you my father, Prongsie?" Sirius rolled his eyes. He crumbled into bed making a soft moan.

"We didn't smoke much" Remus clarified sitting on his own bed.

James bit his inner lip. He was worried.

"Okay..." he faked a giggle "Are you doing homework now? It is late"

Sirius whined, covering his face with the pillow. Like he was annoyed of his suppossed best friend.

"Give me a break, Potter" Sirius said under it "Pete is right, you're so intense sometimes"

James tried hard not to get offended.

Remus gave him a pitiful smile.

"I'll make sure he does homework, don't worry Prongs"

"Okay..."

James was trying to act chill. But all the things in his brain felt like he was going to explode.

He wanted to leave it be. But the voice of his mother inside his brain told him to talk.

"When Peter is here, I want to talk to all of you"

Remus raised an eyebrow. Sirius groaned.

"About?"

"Feelings"

Sirius scoffed.

"Bloody hell, Potter" he snapped, getting the pillow away and looking good with his hair all messy. "Are you a girl or something?"

"Sirius..." Remus tutted.

James ignored him.

"The Marauders are in crisis" he declared "So sober up and when Peter arrives, we'll talk" Sirius was about to protest but James stopped him "Whether you like it or not, Black!"

James walked to the loo hearing all Sirius's mumbling about how he was insane.

But James was determined. He had fixed them before. He was going to fix The Marauders again.

[sea-of-dust]

whahsbebshdd i’m rlly shy abt this and i saw the bedman hcs you wrote and i loved it so much it had my legs kicking and my hair twirling

requesting bedman x a really loving kinda clingy reader,,,,,,

Bedman x GN! Clingy! Loving! Reader

There's no summary it's general headcannons annons letting me be werid!!

N: YIPPEEEEEEE, dont be shy about future requests when open asks are welcomed! thank you for the request!

Warnings: spoilers for bedman during strive and xrd, and minor spoilers for bedmans? Story

He's not escaping you, like ever not like he wants to anyway. "I'm leaving!" "Not without me!" You rush toward the door "you're still in your pjs" "does it matter?" He sighs disappintedly, you could probably do a pushup for everytime he sighs and end up swole and then he'd sigh again

You blame him for being likeable for you being as loving as you are. His kisses even though they're just small taps on the cheek from him they always leave you wanting him to do it again. "Stop" "I'm not doing anything tho" "you're about to ask me if I want to let you brush my hair" "....no" "do it" "yay!" Atleast someone takes care of his physical appearance for em, he's getting free spa days without someone complaining over how much he nitpicks. "Under my nails have been a bit dirty too" "I'll get it" "and there might be a pimple near my leg" "I'll pop it" "dirt in my glasses aswell" you stop what you're doing just to stare it him blankly, even though his eyes were closed he could still feel you staring bullets. "What?" "Are they even prescription?"

He'd enjoy the times he got to appear in your dreams, he's awake able to talk...alot...but his voice is pretty it's not like he'll rant so hard he raps about the same topic twice "when we talk about survival of the fittest-" that was all u listened to before just hearing a mumble of his voice, him just going on and on with you nodding your head. Other than the long 12 page essay front to back that comes out of his mouth he can also be quite engaged in dreams, specifically yours. He'd 100% ask you the next dream you have with him in it. "So what did you dream about?" Your eyes widen before your face goes stone cold "a discount at the supermarket and me trying to make homemade ice cream sandwiches that ended up exploding" he pushes up his glasses "is that so?" "Yea" "because a little birdie told me you were dreaming of me" you giggle, foolish mistake infront of him of all people, you'd have to wipe that dream out of your brain before he gets it outta you

He'd act like he doesn't like how much physical affection, hed be all "love is feable it isn't going to last and most people that are motivated by it end up crying in someone's couch" but everytime you headed his warnings, he'd get a tad...pretty annoyed. "Am I disgusting to you?" "What?" "You haven't hugged me for an entire 6 minutes is there a bug on me?" "I thought you didn't like me being that way" "I do" for the first time you sigh disapointedly "Alright buddy" "so you're not even going to call me Romeo now" you somehow can feel him putting hands on his hips, expect him to be ranting in his dreams because he didn't ever expect you to call him anything other than Romeo and not hug him for 6 minutes. You've learned giving him a small kiss is usually enough for him to forgive you.

You're also the person behind how polished the bed is, with Romeo or not. "You've gotten a bit rusty" it gently squeezes your hand "I ment physically, I'll take it off I wonder if it'll hurt you like this" Delilah trusts you a bit with him not knowing the extent of your relationship. "Don't touch him too much" "you think he'll attack me?" "Maybe" you pat the beds hand "don't worry I can fix him" you feel both siblings give judgemental looks. "That's crazy I can hear your brother sighing and calling me a fool"

[bts-hyperfixation]

Can you please write a BTS reaction? They went out on a friendly dinner with their crush (it's friendly for their crush, not for them<3), but their crush had to babysit her nephew or niece (1-2 years old). So she brings them with her. How do you think they will react if they see her being all motherly and patient towards the babies?

BTS and babies are too cute and I am at the wrong point in my hormone cycle to be writing about this...

Please send me asks to keep me motivated while I’m off work! Thirsty thoughts, Most likely to, reactions, life updates, and general gibberish welcomed!!

Namjoon

Completely and irrevocably enamoured with this small child and the way you are interacting with them. Honestly thought he couldn't love you any more than he already did and now he kinda just wants to bash his head off the table in hopes that the stupid part of his brain that won't let him confess will go away. This is a man who had thought he had written off having kids when the world fell apart a couple years ago but now he is sure he is ovulating like a woman.

Seokjin

Jin was a little annoyed at the prospect of babysitting because he likes to be the centre of attention, especially your attention. But he quickly finds that annoyance melting when the baby starts babbling and you start cooing back and now he kinda just wants you to talk to him like that. 

Yoongi

Keeps having flashes of an apartment littered with baby toys and you sitting at the kitchen table feeding a baby that looks suspiciously like a mix of the two of you. Whenever you are preoccupied by the baby his mind wanders away to this fictitious apartment filled with your laughter. He spends a lot of time just watching you interact with the baby. You have to call him to snap back into the conversation more than once. 

Hoseok

Spends more time making faces at the baby than he does looking at you to be honest. He insists you go to places that are kid-friendly. He is not particularly swayed by how great you are with children, he knew you would be, this isn't new information.

Jimin

Not overly fussed about the baby honestly, he wanted to talk to you because you don't have a lot of time together as it is but now you're distracted. Don't get me wrong, he thinks the baby is cute and he loves how caring you are, it's one of the reasons he loves you. Doesn't mean he isn't frustrated and a little pouty about this turn of events.

Taehyung

Has immediately taken the baby out of your arms, he doesn't see how you interact with them, he is too busy tickling and feeding them himself. You get to watch him play dad/uncle instead (He would be lying if he hadn't thought that it might sway your feelings to be a little more romantic for him). Mostly he is just enjoying the baby's company. 

Jungkook

 No, he isn't jealous of a baby... Well maybe a little bit but you can't blame him. He gets a little pouty to start with but when you excuse yourself to the bathroom and ask him to look after the baby, you come back to find him holding baby above his head and giggling. His nose is all scrunched up and he is smiling so wide that he will never beat those cutie patootie allegations. He spends the rest of the meal sighing dreamily as he watches you take care of the baby.

My ovaries nearly exploded picturing Jungkook playing with a baby, especially watching his arms flex as he lifted the baby and his tattoos and his little nose scrunch and... yeah... so thanks for that.

[attapullman]

Morgan Le Fay my darling, I absolutely cannot get over roommate!Bob and the bungalow, it's so cute!!!!!

Oh my God can we talk about how the garden practically explodes overnight??

Bob has a serious green thumb and it shows. That man will raid the entire garden section of Home Depot with zero fucks given (lol).

I also feel like Bob would be a serious herb-crafter. That man is always in the garden or the greenhouse doing some kind of mad science experiment with the plants (I feel like he'd be really curious about using the essential oils and old school techniques for fertilizers, root stimulants and weed and pest control) and would keep all sorts of journals full of drawings and fancy calligraphy about each of the plants, their uses and how to use them.

Mary!! Are you in my brain? It's okay if you are, just tell me!

bungalow!Bob basically lives at Home Depot. The first week he moved in he spent a majority of the time staring into the backyard dismayed at the patchy grass and the handful of weeds you overlooked. Not that he blames you, you're very busy being a hard worker. But this yard? It won't do.

Once he had a firm idea of what he wanted to do - complete with rudimentary sketches on lined notebook paper he stole from your desk - it became the norm to see him out of the corner of your eye coming in from the garage with his arms full of stuff, muscles bulging. "Don't mind me, honey, we can talk about it after your 4 o'clock!"

Every night at dinner he's walking you through this new article he read on re-potting or starting the discussion on bermuda vs. bluegrass. A few times a day he's obsessively checking the basil plant to make sure it has enough water. While watching the next episode of the show you're watching together, you catch him with his phone out, Googling random house things that pop into his mind.

"Bob, babe, you're going to miss what's going on."

Kissing your temple, he rolls his eyes, "You're the one invested in the show, I'm only here to hang out with you."

You give him unamused eyes.

"I'm kidding," he teases. "If I don't look it up now I'm going to forget...and better now or you'll get mad again."

He's referring to calling time out during doggy last night when he just had to look up how quickly concrete cures for the patio stones he wants to install.

[chameleonspell]

HTDC commentary - 23: fix

[Looking back at HTDC after nearly ten years: comments on lore, character notes, influences, art, whatever. May contain spoilers for later chapters.]

chapter text: 23: fix

This chapter title was part of a deliberate little sequence of four titles that begins here: fix->change->grow->heal. A progression of Iriel's attitude to personal development, with increasing degrees of agency and organic stability.

She stood up carefully, as Ire stood ready to support her.

I'm trying not to get caught up doing boring nitpicky self-deprecation every time I find something clunky, like the repetition of "stood", here. Rather, I shall observe it, and grit my teeth, because I am NOT going to edit it, I shall instead contemplate it as an example of my growth as a writer. See, we're all doing some character development.

It had been a long journey, via silt strider, then boat, and he’d had to carry her for the parts in between.

It could have been worse, he could have walked the whole way. When I first played Morrowind, I didn't realise followers could travel with you via guild teleports or striders/boats, so escort missions were long, terrifying gauntlets of shielding tissue-paper NPCs from rampaging kagouti.

Unable to stand it, he sincerely wished her well, and fumbled his way out of the door, away from all those kind, earnest faces, thanking him deeply, not understanding what an utter waste of flesh he was.

This, coupled with the psychological self-annihilation he inflicted on himself breaking out of the smuggler cave, creates a link in Ire's brain between being seen as a saviour, and weapons-grade doses of agonising guilt and shame. This affects him for a very long time. The main lesson Ire takes from the Rabinna episode isn't "I should do more to help others", it's "I should flinch away from people who need help, because it's horrifying and awful and I'll only make things worse."

Growth is messy and painful. I was trying to find a post I saw on here recently about how the brain protects itself in the same way your body protects itself, when you're pushing its limits. If you're not yet strong or flexible enough to perform a particular physical feat, your body will try to stop you, by causing pain, or forcing other parts of your body to shift position, and take the strain instead. Similarly, if your brain tries to perform an emotional or moral feat it doesn't yet have the strength for (such as taking responsibility for your hurtful actions), your brain will try to wriggle out of it, by causing pain, or by shifting the moral responsibility onto other people, blaming them for your failings. Because you're not yet capable of doing it properly, without hurting yourself. You have to practice, start smaller, work up to it. [edit: finally found it!]

Iriel is fundamentally not ready to deal with his actions having any kind of consequences, good or bad. His brain can't handle either extreme, and the combination of both is like suddenly doing the full splits, with no training. He has the mental equivalent of torn ligaments.

“Welcome,” said the Redguard man, snaring Iriel in an aura of warmth and confidence that exploded from him like a glyph-trap, as Ire tried to slip surreptitiously by.

I never intended Ire to join the Imperial Cult, and hadn't given much thought to the type of men he was most attracted to, but Kaye made those decisions for me. Yes, I had a face replacer installed, but one that aimed to upgrade the resolution of the original game faces, not convert everyone into supermodels. I later implied (via the opinions of Ire's friends) that Kaye's beauty might just be Iriel-vision, and he's actually rather more ordinary. The fun thing about text is that the reader doesn't know, and doesn't need to - all that matters is that Iriel thinks he's beautiful. So don't consider this picture canon, necessarily. Decide for yourself where Iriel's image of Kaye falls on the scale of realism vs. idealism.

And even at original-game low resolution, Kaye is clearly a very beautiful man.

Kaye was one of those people who insist on making direct eye contact with everyone they talk to, and Ire found himself pinned like a butterfly by large, dark eyes. oh no.

Lowercase italicised "oh no" spotted! FANFIC DETECTED! Seriously, though, it's fine, silly fanfic clichés are very appropriate for Iriel's silly fanfic crush.

For more about what Iriel considers himself to be attracted to, I filled in some sort of answer-meme prompt about it at some point:

Iriel: I like confidence, but arrogant and domineering people are unbearable to me. I like men who are kind of... gently masculine? Quiet strength is nice, but they have to have some spark to them, too. They need to laugh at my jokes, basically. Cheerful is helpful, sometimes, but ideally not bouncy. More balanced than me, because someone has to be. Secure in themselves, you know? I've had it with fucking closet cases. Definitely not violent or aggressive, please. Physically... well-built is always nice, but the degree of hugeness that some Nords and Orcs get to seems really excessive to me. I mean, I'm not saying I wouldn't, out of curiosity if nothing else, but... it's a bit much. Body hair comes under this heading, too - I thought that was so weird when I first met Reu, but I came to quite like it. I can definitely do without facial hair, though. And if this is an ideal world... and I know I'm being incredibly shallow... can he be taller than me for a change? I've come to accept that leaving Summerset means I'll never be heart-high* to a man again, it's not a dealmaker/breaker, but... I miss it, all right? Hiranel was seven feet something to my 6'4", and though everyone else since has been shorter (Reu by an entire foot, nearly), and I ought to get used to it, it's still weird.

*"I'll never be heart-high to a man" is Iriel being very sarcastic about romance novel clichés of the ideal height for the female lead. He's falling back on camp, eye-rolling self-deprecation as a bit of a defence mechanism, because he does worry that his taste in men is somehow regressive, informed by stupid romance novels he read as a kid, casting himself in a female role against a masculine man, worrying he's replicating heterosexuality, or something. Which is nonsense, but Iriel worries about a lot of things.

Another possible vision of Ire's perfect boyfriend: https://the-toast.net/2015/11/19/if-rami-malek-were-your-boyfriend/

“Well, would you like me to fix that for you?”

Now, in reality, Iriel chafes against authority, and hates being told what to do, because a lot of his emotional development never got past being a teenager with controlling parents. But equally, since he still feels very unequipped to handle adult life, you can see why this fantasy appeals. Especially in his current situation, feeling painfully aware that he's no one's hero, and he hurts far more people than he helps. Can't someone be his hero, for once?

If you feel broken, in ways you don't fully understand, and the thought of dealing with it seems impossibly daunting... what if you could just be fixed? What if there were an expert who could take you in hand, and suck out all of your problems?

oh gods, fix me, fix everything, fix me hard

What if you just went ahead and sexualised that for all it was worth?

“Congratulations. You are now a Layman in the Imperial Cult. Welcome, Iriel, to our community, and may your rejoice in its blessings.”

Altmeri religion is based on ancestry, hierarchy and ceremonial veneration, according to millennia of tradition. It does not appear to involve any sort of personal relationship with the gods, nor to particularly value faith, as such. The gods deserve honour, but they don't want or need things from you, what an insulting suggestion. They're beyond that.

Iriel has always seen himself as right at the bottom of the food chain, religion-wise. He wasn't raised with any suggestion the gods would take an interest in him, personally, and he's never expected it. As far as he's concerned, religion is a public service, like a higher-status version of rubbish collection: important, but not his job. It makes sense to him that local areas would have their own arrangements for these things, and when it comes to the Aedra, he doesn't really judge. Imperials and Altmer both worship the Aedra, even if they disagree on the exact list. The Imperial Cult is a bit more active and personal than Ire is used to, but it's broadly familiar, and maybe even a positive reminder of the Imperial City. Dunmer religions, with their Daedra and Tribunal, are another matter - Iriel would not have been comfortable signing up for their worship. (Well, not unless the priest was very hot indeed.)

Kaye’s skin was warm, and he had the safest hands Ire had felt in a long time. stupid imperial hand shaking thing, i take back everything bad i ever said about you.

I really think hand shaking is, like, at least third base for Altmer. Iriel is shut down completely by this level of physical and emotional onslaught. And, of course, Kaye gets immediately slotted into the "safe hands" category.

The High Elves are a small, tight-knit community on Vvardenfell.

If Iriel wasn't so distracted right now, this comment would be ringing alarm bells in his head. He knows the terrible power of Altmeri gossip networks, and this one's gonna cause him problems, later on.

SHIT my shirt still has Rabinna’s blood all over it, what must he have thought?

Iriel, if you weren't so uselessly guilt-ridden about it, you'd realise Kaye would have been deeply impressed by the fact you're covered in the blood of an innocent you just saved from death and carried to safety! Maybe he would have offered you a clean shirt, and you could have cranked up the sexual tension, getting changed in his office! Honestly, there are so many ways you could have played this whole situation. You could even have slipped up and revealed your drug addiction, shed a few tears, got a little vulnerable. Kaye would have been delighted to save you from yourself, which is everything you think you want, right now.

Really, the more I think about it, Iriel came extremely close to getting scooped out of the whole Nerevarine narrative, and installed into a quiet life as a happily married Imperial Cult alchemist in Ebonheart, here. And he would have been happy enough! He wouldn't have grown in the ways he ends up doing, and it wouldn't be much of a story, but it wouldn't have been a bad outcome.

Why do I have to meet incredible people when I’m such a fucking wreck, when I’ve done nothing but screw everything up, when there is literally no possibility that I could ever be worthy of them? Even if he were remotely interested, which he’s not.

Iriel phrases this as a complaint, but he knows, deep down, that it's so much safer and easier this way. A nice, unrequited crush where nothing will ever happen, but it's fun to imagine. No actual relationship, with all the stress of dealing with someone else's needs and living up to their expectations. Iriel is well aware that Kaye was performing a role, that being charismatic and engaging is his job, and nothing about it meant anything to him. That's fine. Ire doesn't want a real person, with flaws. He wants a fantasy, and, for now, he's got one.

Playlist pick: Garbage - Fix Me Now. My elder millennial is showing, but c'mon, this song was made for this chapter.

next: 24: lies previous: 21: refinement & 22: fragile

[angelic-writer]

Lichtenberg - Bright Lights

Day 27 of @augusnippets

Prompts: Migraine/chronic pain/phantoms pains

Fandom: Cabin Tales

CW: Migraine, referenced torture

Mild spoilers for Lichtenberg

February 10, 2014

Jeremy sat on the bench, winded from practice. Man, Coach is really grilling us this week, huh? Well, I don't blame him. The game is next week, after all. He took a sip from his water bottle when Dan sat next to him.

"Hey dude! Long day, huh?"

"Yep. Been practicing for the game. Whew, I'm tired!"

"Aren't we all?" Dan chuckled. "Hey, me and the others are gonna go out for pizza later. You wanna come with?"

"Yeah, sure. I-" He stopped when a sharp pain stabbed through his skull. Huh, that's weird. Did he hit his head too hard? Probably, but he would've felt it immediately. Then again, concussions are pretty hard to diagnose.

He was suddenly aware of how bright the overhead lights had become. He screwed his eyes shut and leaned forward, holding his head. When did the lights become so bright? His head was pounding like it was about to explode. He could barely hear Dan's voice as his ears started ringing.

What the hell? W-Where did that come from? Oh god, do I have a brain bleed? Do I need to go to the nurse?

He was suddenly aware of how hot his wrists had become. His fingers were tingling. There was a faint sensation of electricity coursing through his body. The ringing was soon replaced with screaming. Screams that were all too familiar to him.

"I had to."

Kevin's screams rang louder, drowning out the others. The smell...

"How am I stuck with you two?"

"He was your friend! Your friend, Sam!"

"Jay? Jay, a-are you okay? Do you... want me to take you to the nurse?"

An all too familiar voice cut through the noise. Sam.

He slowly looked up and sure enough, there he was with Dan, Dante and the others looking at him, worried. He should be saying that he's fine, that he could take care of it, but for some reason, seeing Sam's face caused a burning hatred to grow inside him.

"No. I'm fine." His voice was terse, causing Dan to flinch. His tone was too harsh. It was unlike his usual jovial attitude.

"Jay, you look like you're about to collapse. Let us help you." Dante tried to lift him up.

"I-I'm fine. I just... need a moment." He attempted to stand up, but he felt his knees buckle. Sam and Dan caught him and dragged him out of the locker room. Despite his protests, they were insistent on taking him to the nurse's office. Jeremy went quiet, glaring at Sam the whole way.

Sam, I'm gonna fucking kill you.

[rlainarin]

strike me down, crusader a Daeran Arendae playlist

tracklist + links to lyrics + highlights under the cut

Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance I'm just a man, I'm not a hero Just a boy, who had to sing this song

Don't Stop Me Now by Queen I'm out of control I'm a sex machine ready to reload Like an atom bomb about to-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh explode

Walking Contradiction by Green Day I have no belief But I believe I'm a walking contradiction And I ain't got no right

West Coast Smoker by Fall Out Boy Don't feel bad for the suicidal cats Gotta kill themselves nine times before they get it right

GASOLINE by Måneskin Your ego is dangerous Your own blood is losing trust Neighbors left in the dust

Troubled Times by Green Day We run for cover Like a skyscraper's falling down Then I wonder like a troubled mind

Killer In The Mirror by Set It Off Let weakness disappear There's nobody but me here The killer in the mirror

Choke by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME If I could burn this town I wouldn't hesitate To smile while you suffocate and die

The Sound of Silence by Disturbed And the vision that was planted in my brain Still remains Within the sound of silence

Kill All Your Friends by My Chemical Romance It's been ten fucking years since I've been seeing your Face round here And you're walking away and I will drown in the fear

Goodnight Demonslayer by Aurelio Voltaire Tell the devil its time you gave him his due He should go back to hell, he should shake in his shoes Cause the mightiest, scariest, creature is you

crusader by Stevie Howie You cast judgment on the ones who choose thought They pandered to the devil so they've already lost

Bouncing off the Wall by Green Day Cause it's all that I want And I want to be free I got Satan riding next to me

Suzerainty by Polite Fiction And masturbation's just not as fun If you can't cry when you're done

Are You Satisfied? by Marina & the Diamonds People like to tell you what you're gonna be It's not my problem if you don't see what I see And I do not give a damn if you don't believe

BABY SAID by Måneskin Baby said When you're talking I go dead Shut your mouth, give me your head

Who's In Control by Set It Off Living in fear, living afraid Hysterical every day All because I let your poison paralyze me

Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough for the Two of Us by My Chemical Romance And it's hard to say I'm shaken By the choices that I make And well, I find it hard to stay

Sirens by Bear Ghost They say you oughta dance like no one's watching They're a telepathic chorus in my mind

Blood On My Name by The Brothers Bright Not a spell gonna be broken with a potion or a priest When you're cursed, you're always hopin' that a prophet would be grieved

Blame by Bastille Fall upon your knees, sing: "This is my body and soul here" Crawl and beg and plead, sing: "You've got the power to control here"

Tell Me It's Okay by Paramore And maybe it's been years since I wanted to be a part of anything But lately I've been good You know, I've actually been great

[caradecema]

Too Little, Too Late

Part 12

SUMMARY: years of one sided love when it comes to Isabela, she finally begins to move on from George.

But once George realizes that he did have feelings for her, it's too late -

(Isabela X Cedric, Isabela X Minor George)

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Isabela barely contained her giggles as she watched their prank unfold across the Great Hall. A chain reaction of harmless but chaotic spells spread from table to table—enchanted goblets that refilled themselves too much, causing spills, floating pieces of toast that just wouldn't be caught, and best of all, a few Slytherins finding their robes subtly shifting to a bright shade of pink.

Cedric shook his head beside her, though there was a smile tugging at his lips. "You're incorrigible," he muttered.

Isabela grinned, nudging him with her elbow. "And yet, here you are, my partner in crime."

Before Cedric could respond, the bell rang, signaling the end of breakfast. As Isabela got up, ready to rush to Potions, a familiar arm looped through hers dramatically.

Fred Weasley let out an exaggerated, heartbroken sigh. "How could you, Bells?" he wailed, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye. "Ditching me—your one true partner in crime—for golden boy Diggory? I'm wounded. Truly, I may never recover."

Isabela rolled her eyes, laughing as she shoved him playfully. "Oh, shut up, Fred." She pushed him toward the wall, making him stumble slightly before she darted inside the classroom.

Fred called after her, still grinning. "Traitor! I hope you get stuck brewing with Snape breathing down your neck!"

Isabela just laughed, sliding into her seat. The day had only just begun, and she was already looking forward to what trouble she could get into next.

Fred continued to dramatically clutch his chest as he leaned against the doorframe of the Potions classroom. "Isabela!" he whined, his voice full of mock despair. "When, oh when, will you and I—the real troublemakers—pull another prank? We can't just leave poor Lee and George out of all the fun!"

Isabela, sitting comfortably at her desk, couldn't help but roll her eyes as she packed her things. "Fred, we did one last week that earned us two days in detention," she said, raising an eyebrow at him. "And you want to do another one already? You know Snape hasn't quite forgiven me for the last one, right?"

Fred's eyes widened dramatically, a playful grin crossing his face. "Oh, come on! It was brilliant! I mean, really, who could have predicted that Snape's potion would explode in that particular shade of green?" He smirked, rubbing his hands together. "Plus, it's not like he was going to give us more than a couple days of detention—he loves his little private time in the dungeons anyway."

Isabela raised an eyebrow, shaking her head. "You may love your detentions with Snape, but I don't know about you, Fred, I actually like the freedom of not being stuck in the dungeons." She leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms as she watched him pout.

Fred tilted his head in mock thought, then shrugged dramatically. "Fair enough. But come on! When's the next prank? I need to have a good laugh before I end up being suffocated by all the 'responsibility' that comes with being the best prankster at Hogwarts." He winked and added, "Besides, George and Lee are getting restless—they're waiting on you."

Isabela snorted at the mention of George and Lee. "Oh, you want me to be the 'brains' behind the operation, huh?" she teased, her lips curving into a mischievous grin. "You can't just blame it all on me, Weasley. You know it's teamwork that makes these pranks work." She glanced over at the back of the room, where George was sitting with Lee, both of them looking suspiciously like they were discussing their next mischievous move.

Fred leaned in closer, dropping his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Well, technically, you are the mastermind behind most of the best pranks we've pulled off," he said, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "Come on, just one more before the end of the term? Something small, easy... and totally worth the trouble?"

Isabela gave him a look that said she was seriously considering it. She glanced back at George and Lee, who were both now watching her intently, as if waiting for her to give the green light. With a sigh, she leaned back in her chair again, smirking. "Fine. But if we get caught—again—you're all taking the blame for it. No more blame on me."

Fred grinned widely, clasping his hands together in mock prayer. "Deal! Just let us know when you're ready, and we'll be your loyal accomplices."

With a small chuckle, Isabela finally stood up. "Alright, you've got yourselves a deal. I'll start brainstorming, but don't get your hopes up. I'm not promising anything big." She gave him a playful wink and turned to grab her bag, ready for the rest of the day.

Fred, looking far too pleased with himself, leaned back in his chair, flashing a grin at George and Lee. "Looks like we're going to be busy soon, lads."

Isabela chuckled to herself as she left the classroom, secretly wondering just what kind of trouble she'd get them all into this time.

Class went by fast after that, and so did the rest of the day.

Isabela was making her way to the Quidditch pitch, the cool breeze brushing against her face as she thought about the conversation she'd just had with Fred. She couldn't help but smile a little, wondering what kind of trouble they'd get into next. As she approached the entrance to the pitch, she spotted Angelina and Katie standing together, chatting excitedly.

"Oi, Isabela!" Angelina called out, waving her hand. "You and Diggory are finally dating, right?"

Isabela stopped in her tracks, blinking in confusion. "What?" she asked, her brow furrowing as she tried to process what they were implying. "No, what are you talking about?"

Katie exchanged a knowing look with Angelina before sighing dramatically. "Come on, Bella," Katie said with a teasing grin. "The whole school can see you two together. The pranks, the late-night studying, and let's not forget about that kiss. Are you really going to tell us you're not dating?"

Isabela's face flushed a little as she tried to hold back a laugh, though she couldn't help feeling a little caught off guard. "I mean, we've kissed," she admitted slowly, her gaze shifting as she recalled the moment with Cedric. "But... I don't know, okay? I don't want to rush anything."

Angelina raised an eyebrow. "Is that so? Because it definitely seems like things are heating up between you two."

Isabela ran a hand through her hair, clearly unsure of how to explain herself. "I just... don't want to make things complicated," she said quietly. "We're friends first, and I like that. I don't want to rush into something if we're not ready for it. Besides, he's already a part of my life, so why push it?"

Katie smiled sympathetically, nodding. "Fair enough, Bella. We get it. No need to rush things. But I have to say, Cedric's pretty great. Just... don't let him slip away."

Isabela gave them both a playful nudge. "I'm not letting anyone slip away, alright?" She grinned, a glint of mischief in her eyes. "Now, enough with the gossip, yeah? We've got a match to win."

Angelina and Katie exchanged amused glances but didn't press any further. Instead, they all walked toward the Quidditch pitch together, ready to focus on the upcoming practice and the game ahead. But in the back of Isabela's mind, the conversation still lingered, leaving her wondering if maybe things with Cedric were moving a bit faster than she'd anticipated. For now, though, all she could do was concentrate on practice and not let her thoughts get too tangled up in the whirlwind of emotions she was beginning to feel.

During practice, George couldn't help but feel a knot of frustration building in his stomach. He watched from the sidelines as Isabela and Cedric exchanged a few quiet words while getting ready for the next round. Every time Cedric smiled at her, or when she laughed at something he said, it felt like a sharp sting. It was the way she was always looking at him now, like there was no room for anyone else in her world—especially not George. He grumbled under his breath as he wiped his broomstick with his sleeve.

"Great," George muttered, clenching his jaw. "Now Isabela only has eyes for Diggory. Who cares about me anymore?"

He kicked at a nearby stone, his mind racing. It wasn't like he had a right to be upset, but seeing how close Cedric and Isabela had become recently was driving him mad. He tried to push the thoughts aside, but they kept creeping back, one after the other.

Meanwhile, Fred, oblivious to his twin's mood, was pulling off some ridiculous stunt, trying to impress the rest of the team. A rogue Bludger soared past George, and Fred, in his usual fashion, knocked it in George's direction with a playful grin. George, feeling the frustration bubbling over, swung his bat hard, sending the Bludger at an angle that he absolutely did not mean to direct toward Isabela.

The Bludger flew off George's bat and spun wildly through the air. Isabela, focused on her position, didn't see it coming. A moment later, there was a sickening crack as the Bludger collided with her side, sending her spiraling off her broom and into the air with a scream. She fell hard to the ground, landing with a thud.

"Isabela!" Cedric's voice rang out immediately as he flew toward her, his broomstick cutting through the air.

George's stomach twisted, and he felt a surge of guilt, but it was quickly overridden by his irritation. He flew over to where Isabela had landed, but before he could say anything, Cedric had already swooped in and landed beside her.

"Move, Weasley," Cedric snapped, his tone sharp and protective as he crouched down to assess Isabela, his hands gently brushing over her bruised side. "You've done enough."

George bristled, his face reddening. "I was just trying to—"

"Don't," Cedric interrupted, his eyes cold as he looked up at George. "You're not helping."

George opened his mouth to retort, but the anger fizzled out. Seeing Cedric's protective stance over Isabela, how he was focused on her with a look of concern, made his chest tighten. He was too late.

Cedric carefully helped Isabela to her feet, supporting her as she winced in pain. "You alright?" he asked softly, his eyes scanning her face for any signs of distress.

"Yeah... just winded," Isabela murmured, still a little dazed, though she smiled weakly at Cedric. "I'm okay."

"Let's get you to the infirmary, just in case," Cedric said firmly, lifting her gently into his arms. Isabela's eyes widened slightly in surprise, but then she relaxed into his hold.

"Thanks, Cedric," she whispered.

As they began to make their way toward the exit, George hovered behind them, his mind racing with a mix of anger and helplessness. He didn't say a word, but the weight of the situation hung heavily on his shoulders.

Fred zoomed over to George, a smug grin on his face. "So, George, looks like you've got a bit of competition for Bella's attention."

George scowled at his twin but didn't respond. He knew Fred was just trying to lighten the mood, but it only made him more annoyed. Cedric was taking the girl he liked, and there was nothing George could do about it. "What the fuck is wrong with you today George" Angelina sneered. "You dont get to get jealous now, you were the one that chose that blond over Bella" Katie added as the two of them ran to catch up with Cedric and Bella.

Meanwhile, Cedric and Isabela disappeared into the distance, leaving George standing alone, feeling more frustrated than ever. He had no one to blame but himself for letting things get so complicated. Fred gave him a look. "Mate, we tries to help you but, its too late now, she really and I mean REALY likes golden boy Digory."

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

[karl-raccoon-in-a-teacup]

28 + oscargide, 18 + lemon futon, mango + 14, higugin + 38

You're gonna force my hand into talking about Oscar Wilde BSD on this blog do you realize that. My god.

28: A kiss in parting

"So soon, really?" Oscar asks, leaning against the frame of the door. There's still paint drying on his hands, still droplets of sunlight peaking in through the curtains, and they hadn't even remembered to take off their shoes. "It's wartime, Oscar," Andre says, checking the buttons on his coat. "I'll always be gone soon." "Hm." Oscar slides over, eyes darting outside. "Well, tell your men I said hello, and I wish you all luck." Andre smiles with that easy confidence, laughing as he says, "We don't need that sort of luck. They have me." "As confident as always, aren't you?" And he knows both of their eyes dart around their surroundings, know both of them check the rather empty office. No one's nearby, of course, these halls are long since hollow. And yet still, Oscar waits for Andre's crimson eyes to hover on his lips just long enough, before he leans in and grants him a kiss. "I'll see you," he murmurs, pulling away. "My friend." It's really not the right word for them, not anymore. Not after all they've been through. But still, Andre's response is, "Until next time, my friend."

18: A kiss in laughter

"Kajii-" Katai's voice cracks as he speaks- "really? You're going to interrupt my work for this?" "Of course I am!' he answers confidently, flopping against him so hard he squeaks. "Come on, I know how much you love these things, and you really could use the break!" "It- just- this is ridiculous!" "Well yes, I am, thank you very much." And the usual groan or shoving away doesn't come- instead, Katai's shoulders shake, and he starts to laugh. Whatever Kajii planned to say next dies as Katai laughs, loudly, the grin on his face wide. It must be only a moment, really, that he's laughing, but Kajii feels like it lasts so long and even his giggles are such a rare, golden sound, and- And now he's laughing, too, and it's while both of them are laughing that he can't help but grab Katai and kiss him.

14: A kiss on the stomach

"What are you doing?" Ango asks, suspicion leaking into his voice as he looks down at Mushitaro, who's cuddled up to him. "Oh, I'm sorry I can't admire my lovely boyfriend," Mushitaro says with a scoff, eyes darting to where Ango's shirt has fallen up. "I didn't know you had moles there." "I have moles everywhere." A roll of his eyes, and he turns back to his book. "It's not that special." A hum, and an almost audible smirk as Mushitaro responds, "Oh, really?" "Wh-" And then Ango nearly jumps out of his skin when he feels the soft kiss on his stomach- glaring down- "Hey-" Mushitaro just continues to kiss the speckling of moles, and Ango feels his face getting warmer and wrmer, before Mushitaro starts moving up and it's too much and he smacks him with the book. "OW- RUDE-" "If you're going to kiss me-" Ango splutters out- "at least do it where I'm not ticklish. Please."

38: A kiss while one party is being carried

"You're really strong," Higuchi blurts out, and she decides she's going to blame that on the blood loss if anyone asks about it later, even if her side doesn't feel as bad as it looks. Gin only nods, continuing to walk forward, holding Higuchi in her arms. "Like, do I even weigh anything to you?" she's still talking, apparently, huh. Why is she still talking? Gin raises a brow, as if questioning this herself. "N-nevermind me," Higuchi splutters, looking away. "It's just- me being injured. The blood loss is making my brain weird. And thinking about your muscles, like holy shit, where do you work out-?" Gin shifts her hold, and Higuchi lets out a yelp. "Sorry, yep, I'll stop talking now just don't drop m-" And then Gin slides her mask down, and places a kiss on Higuchi's forehead. "Just relax, Higuchi,' she says, sliding her mask back on. "I've got you." Higuchi is pretty sure her brain explodes.

[mspeevee]

Would it help more to ask you questions so you can vent, or would you prefer comfort? If so, would you prefer reassurance or advice?

I know it's a lot, and I don't want to condenscend. But I do promise that you aren't doing anything wrong by feeling this way. Take as much time as you need <3

i just wish i felt like i was important to my friends enough that i was worth the time i put into them back

i wasn't gonna vent but then i exploded anyways.

the gist is that multiple times now i've felt like i do all this effort, messaging first, making art (i don't do it expecting anything back), sharing my life with people only to receive like, appreciation but not reciprocation. and then i watch them do all of that for other people and i can't help but feel like it's my fault. like i am just so replaceable.

and then when i am hurting so bad i understand they don't know what to say me, hell they prolly have my vent and complaining tags blocked i'm sure, but i feel left to rot and seethe until i fucking hate them. and then i feel bad about it, cuz i don't want to, but i'm so tired of feeling this way every few months. it makes me wish i were dead because i don't see any point in going on if no one genuinely cares if i'm in pain or not. not even a simple "hey im sorry you're going through this but i care". i get ignored. and i feel like it reflects my worth to them.

and rn i can't blame myself for feeling so angry about it too when i feel like i'm bleeding out with their backs turned to me. and maybe that's dramatic but i'm not exactly rational right now anyways so.

and later on i prolly won't blame them or anything, i know this is all because my mental health is bad and my brain tortures me using them against me, but when it happens so often and i feel like i'm finally getting better only for something random to set me off into wanting to stop existing again i'm like, well what's the fucking point??

would they even cry about me for that long? would me leaving leave any impact longer than a week? a month? would they regret not taking every chance i gave them to engage with me? did i deserve their time at all anyways? am i selfish for interpreting continual silence as dismissal?

this applies to literally everything but i cannot blame myself for not knowing how people think when they don't tell me. i can't know if anyone likes my art if they don't like it or reblog it or tell me. i can't know that you told your friends you really enjoyed a post on my blog if that's the only people you told.

and obviously that extends to me, too, how can they know i'm slowly resenting them if i dont say something? but isn't that so cruel of me to mention? isn't it so mean of me to make them feel bad for doing harmless things that just so happen to be used as ammo against me because of my own problems by my own brain? should i just stop making friends? where do i give up here? where do i work on it?

honestly i'd love advice, idk how to cope like this. everything online just says therapy but that's not an option for me. im trying so hard to practice mindfulness and challenging the thoughts but they seem so right and like there's so much "proof". "oh you did all this for your friend but they never did it back but look now they're doing it with this new friend! and it's not the first time either, how many times will you assume you mean as much to them as they do to you."

i wish i wasnt struggling alone. even tho i know i'd just think they're lying if they ever reached out to me at least i would remember they tried when i started to come out of this ditch. but no one wants to try with me anymore, and it's my fault.

[eta--piscium]

✨️This is an appreciation post for my one and only love @schattensaenger ✨️

The year is about to end and we're still together and going stronger than ever. Yes, we may fight as if we're Tom & Jerry, but at the end of the day, we still make up and love each other even more. We can't even stay mad at each other and ignore each other for more than 20mins. Lol. Even if we're both still kinda grumpy, we still stay on a call together and just casually look at the other and then a few mins later, we start sending kisses to each other and we're okay again. Hahaha. You, my love, is something else.

You are the person that I never knew I needed in my life. *yes I know, it sound cliche but it's true* I have made friends with lots of people but nobody can ever compare to you. The way you love me is so different from everyone else. You don't just love me because I'm your girlfriend, you don't just love me because I'm ur person, ur duo, ur potato, ur annoying potato, ur very sassy and loves to tease u so much gf, you love me for me. You told me and showed me that you love me for who I am. You made me comfortable with myself. You made me feel secure. You made me feel so loved. You love me unconditionally.

Honestly, I once thought to myself back then that the person for me would never come. That maybe I'll just be another person. Maybe I'll just serve as a chapter in someone else's story. But, you came. You proved me wrong. You have taught me many many things in life. You taught me all the ways that I could love and be loved. You taught me that it's okay to be vulnerable, that it's okay to cry, that it's perfectly fine and normal to let myself feel things and just let my emotions out. Not keep them in a jar and store it somewhere until they overflow and explode. You taught me how to be patient. To be more understanding. I thought I was open minded enough but you showed me things that I was keeping a blind eye to. You opened up my mind even more. You made me into a better person. You are the only person that came in my life that made me wanna better myself. You made me wanna be the best version of myself.

I'm sorry if I always push your buttons. It's fun to tease u all the time. heh 😏

Okay but seriously now. I'm sorry for all of the things I have done to you. I'm sorry for making you cry. I'm sorry for being so stupid at times that I just can't understand what I should do. I'm sorry for all of the times that I accidentally make u doubt my love for you. I'm sorry for being a huge pain in the ass for you. You still love me tho heh😏 u like me in ur butt. NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY! HAHAHA

I just want to say that you are loved by me and not just by me but by many other people including our friends too.

I also want to say that I am very very thankful that you exist and that you came into my life. Thank you for existing. Thank you for staying. I love you so so so much.

Thank you for all the help you've ever given me. Thank you for helping me learn many things. Thank you for always being very patient with me. Especially when it comes to coding and math. What can I do, the moment I see numbers and formulas my brain immediately goes to sleep. Hahahah I'm sowwy But seriously, thank you for always finding time to teach my bobo ass how to code and all. Thank you for helping with my homework and projects too!! Speaking of project, you have been the greatest help for this website project of mine. You have done waaaaay more than my groupmates. You basically did the whole entire thing on ur own and you're not even getting graded. I am. But you always want the best for me that's why I can't even stop you becaue you get poopy and be like "UR CLASSMATES WILL JUST RUIN EVERYTHING AND HALF-ASS EVERYTHING!!" Cutie u are. I can't blame you tho bec you really made it so pretty and the suggestions u hear from them are just potato. Lol. But really tho, thank you so much for everything. The fact that you are the one that wants to help me with my schoolwork and u get poopy whenever I don't tell u that I have an assignment or quizzes or whatever, I find that adorable. Because it's just you being you. You love to help people. You love to help me. I adore that. But also because I get to secretly stare at u while u do some of my coding stuff bec you look sooooo stunning and beautiful whenever you're too focused on smth. I love it whenever you're so serious and focused, with ur eyeglasses on and ur hair tied in a bun. Oooooofff my heartttttt.😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

I hope our love never grows old, I hope that fifty years down the road you are still the face I see when I wake for the day on a cold monday morning. I hope you are the last person I see after one too many drinks and I hope your laugh is the soundtrack to all of my stories. I hope your body is always beside me and I hope my life is spent loving the only one that could ever find me. I hope that every day of the rest our lives are spent loving each other cause not a single thing in this world could ever convince me to love another, and I hope that the love growing between us two is nurtured by all of the days I will spend loving you.

Ps. I'm sorry this took so long for me to post. I really just have so many things I wanna say but felt like words are never enough. Writing this down on my notepad always makes me giddy and emotional. Lowkey crying rn but u can't see. Lol. Oh and I keep rewriting and adding stuff to it too. Hehehe

Pps. I LOVE YOU SO FREAKING MUCH!😘❤️

[black-arcana]

League of Distortion ➢ What’s Wrong With Her?

[Intro] Da da da da Da da da

[Verse 1] I've heard that I cause trouble There's always one to blame 'Cause there's a horse on my porch I'm declared insane It's like the slightest trigger Turns me from green to red When I explode out of nowhere You feel the dread

[Pre-Chorus] 'Cause I don't give a damn, no You think I'm not okay You feel ashamed that's why you say:

[Chorus] What's wrong with her What's wrong with her What, what, what, what What's wrong with her What, what, what, what What is wrong with her What, what, what, what What's wrong with her I really really wanna know What, what, what's wrong with her?

[Verse 2] And now your blood is boiling When someone drops my name You're tellin' lies 'bout me, why? 'Cause you envy me Caught in your own unsureness You think I've lost my mind And while you sigh I get high, anger makes you blind

[Pre-Chorus] 'Cause I don't give a damn, no You think I'm not okay You feel ashamed that's why you say:

[Chorus] What's wrong with her What, what, what, what What's wrong with her What, what, what, what What is wrong with her (What, what, what, what) Like a bitter liquor never killed a party Just a little bit of venom for your brain I really really want to know What, what, what's wrong with her

[Bridge] She doesn't water the flowers with water She waters the flowers with wine She doesn't water the flowers with water She waters the flowers with wine She doesn't water the flowers with water She waters the flowers with wine They don't get water, she waters them with wine She doesn't water the flowers with water She waters the flowers with wine She doesn't water the flowers with water She waters the flowers with wine She doesn't follow the general order She waters the flowers with white She doesn't do that because she's insane

[Chorus] What, what, what, what What's wrong with her What, what, what, what What is wrong with her (What, what, what, what) Gotta get it if you wanna get it harder Just a little bit of venom for your brain I really really wanna know What's wrong with her What, what, what, what What is wrong with her (What, what, what, what) Gotta get it if you wanna get it harder Just a little bit of venom for your brain I really really want to know I really really want to know What, what What's wrong with her

[Outro] Da da da da Da da da