#don't mind me trying to find motivation to reply to things and do stuff instead of being a lazy shithead

[takes1]

newest drop was fire bro🙌🔥🔥🔥

oikawa crushing on quiet!reader

ts made me smile. much appreciated ❤️ no smut this time; i'm getting smut fatigue. needed a short palette cleanser. thinking about doing some short form stuff while i work through the pre-january requests.

warnings. none, sfw

details. fem!reader / fluffy, feel-good fic / quiet!reader / oikawa crushing / 'weird'!reader / nerd x popular trope / oikawa is obsessed with you / based off of the 'hi wayne/bye wayne' audio / whipped!oikawa / iwa being a good person / 800 words

links. my masterlist. more haikyuu. my ao3.

"Hi, Tohru," You said, just as you did every day, to turn in your homework to the teacher's desk.

Oikawa was leaning forward, engaged in finishing a hushed story with Iwazumi. But your light, airy tone -void of any old, tired motive- took precedence with no further thought.

"-And then he was-- Hi, (Y/n)."

He perked up in many ways, just in time for you to walk by his desk again. Eyes wider, an uncontrollable smile brightening his former, serious expression- his brow softer, as he twisted to watch you return to your seat.

It was unclear why you felt comfortable enough to be on a first-name basis. Oikawa didn't mind. It distinguished you, like many things did, from the girls who only spoke to him because they were after something.

"The fuck was that?" Iwa searched his expression, finding some kind of emotion, or thought pattern at the very least, that he had never seen on his friend before.

Oikawa turned back around, confused, but not defensive.

"What?"

"That," Iwa asserted, shortly before he was called to face forward. He muttered, under his breath, "-That look on your face."

Oikawa was left to figure it out, a hint of effort on his brow, for the remainder of class.

Lunch eventually came around. He was still feeling different, and wasn't sure if it was what Iwa pointed out, or not.

In the process of standing to grab his lunch from his bag, and go eat outside like he usually did with his friend, he caught a quick glimpse of you. You were folding another addition to the row of tiny, paper cranes on your desk.

"C'mon," Iwa shouldered his bag.

Oikawa took a step, but lingered a moment longer.

You were sitting alone, but you didn't look sad about it. The seat in front of you was empty.

He filled it, despite Iwa's quiet protests, and sat backwards to watch you. The bench they usually chose to sit at sucked, because it was regularly bombarded with people he didn't know, all trying to talk to him. He usually never got to eat his lunch.

"Hi Tohru," You smiled, choosing not to look at him, in order to focus on your craft.

His reply was a fond sigh, "Hi, (Y/n)."

From here, he had the privilege of finally getting a good look at your face.

There was a sort of mild, unbothered, pleasantness to you. You weren't worried about anything else. You didn't give a damn that he was here, much less that he couldn't take his eyes off of you.

Iwa flicked him, hard, in the back of the head. It was after he shot back upright, rubbing the sore spot, that he realized he had been leaning slowly forward.

"Don't be a dick," Iwa muttered.

The assumption was such a leap in logic that Oikawa had no idea what he meant. You added another crane, that tiny, permanent smile on your pretty face.

He ignored him. Instead, he opted to try talking to you for the first time, "Um- are you going to eat your lunch?"

Still not looking at him, you were tearing off another page-- "I forgot it."

Again, you didn't seem like you minded such a dismal thing. Without much further thought, he grabbed his and set it in your workspace.

This was the only time you would look up at him.

A shudder wracked down his spine, rendering his voice a bit weak, "Yo-u can have mine."

There was some consideration in your eyes, before you pushed it back towards him, and refocused on your paper, "No. You need to eat. Aren't you playing a big match, soon?"

The way you asked made it seem like you weren't looking for an answer.

"Uh-," He did you the liberty of freeing up your desk space again, lunch box in his clammy hands, "Yeah- yeah, we are."

Iwa was getting tired of standing- you heard him shift his weight and sigh. He was still under the assumption that Oikawa was trying to flirt for some useless, and cruel joke.

"You can sit there," You motioned to the desk next to Oikawa.

His inflection was stilted, and his cadence was slow as he, hesitantly, took a seat.

"Thanks..."

It was quiet for a while, aside from the other students chatting from further back in the classroom. Iwa watched his friend face forward and eat slowly, slouched at the shoulders. It was an unusual sight.

Gradually, it dawned on him that this superficial pretty boy -in a rare, natural phenomenon- held a deeply genuine and innocent crush.

When they got up at the ring of the next bell, you were about 20 cranes deep. Oikawa left you, with another wistful stare, to head back to his seat. Though he loved how you didn't need to fill the silence, he wished he could make more conversation with you.

The classroom began filling up again, getting louder, and crowded for the next subject.

He was flitting his pencil between his sluggish fingers, a frown deep and heavy against his knuckles, when you came into view once more.

Another precious moment of hopeful, heart-pounding glee.

You placed a crane on his desk, then straightened it up, "Bye, Tohru."

This time, you waited long enough for him to properly respond, dawning that uncontrollable grin again, "Bye, (Y/n)."

☆VIP☆

@integers @paradoxicalwritings @yuchacco

my masterlist. more haikyuu

[cinnamon-stheater]

MizuEna - 𐙚˙⋆.˚Infinitely Colorful ₊🖌⊹♡

SORRY THIS WAS SO LATE !!! the ask came like october 13th and i was like "huh i have no motivation. let's publish it NOW instead" anyway established relationship mizuena !! they're already girlfriends :DD something fluffy for your eyes after mizu5 (i started writing this like right after it came out so. yeah) i used they/them pronouns for mizuki !! might end up switching to she/they sometime but also i'm not that practiced in writing characters with two different pronouns so uh. the switch might be a little hard :<< warning: this was written by somebody who does not know ANYTHING about makeup. deepest apologies if you tear out your hair while reading ^ person who looked up headcanons and cosplays to figure out what to do for makeup enjoy the show !! ☆彡

Three brief knocks rapped against the front door of the Shinonome's house, almost drowned out by the Nightcord music Ena had blasting in her earbuds. It wasn't her fault Kanade and Mafuyu were such good composers.

"Oi, Akiyama's here," Akito called from outside Ena's room. The music didn't drown out his voice, unfortunately. "You should let them inside."

"I know," Ena retorted, pausing Lower One's Eyes and ripping out her earbuds. "I'm going right now." She knew that Mizuki usually just went upstairs to her room by themself though, so when she opened the door she wasn't surprised to be met with a pair of pale pink eyes shadowed by long eyelashes.

"Hi Ena!" Mizuki greeted cheerfully, having let themself inside the house. (How, Ena had no idea. Maybe she'd left the door unlocked when she tried going outside for better cell service earlier that day.) Mizuki had also kind of invited themself over - Ena had tried to object that she was busy with art projects and homework, but to be honest, she was really tired, and she knew herself well enough to know that she wasn't going to spend the long weekend they had doing homework. So why not spend it with Mizuki instead?

"Hi Mizuki," Ena smiled, letting them in. "You didn't bring as much as I was expecting." Her mind flashed back to the last sleepover they had, when Ena had trouble fitting Mizuki's stuff through the door. This time though, the other had only brought a single, large duffel bag. "Are you sure you didn't forget anything?"

"I don't forget things like you, Ena," Mizuki replied with a teasing grin.

"Hold on. Who was the one that didn't bring the makeup over last time?"

"Aah, I guess you're right. I brought it over this time though!" Mizuki fished out a cute pink makeup bag from their duffel bag, holding it up for Ena to see.

"That's great," said Ena happily. "Let's get started! I was thinking we could go for this look.."

The two chatted eagerly as they made themselves comfortable on the soft, plush cushions on Ena's bedroom floor. Mizuki started with Ena's makeup, their makeup bag and some other things they'd shoved in their duffel bag last minute strewn across the diamond-patterned rug. Their hand found Ena's as they patted blush on her cheeks.

"Hehe, you don't even need blush with how red your cheeks are already," Mizuki teased.

Ena flushed even harder, considering slapping Mizuki in the face. "Shut up!"

Mizuki's hand felt cold in hers as her girlfriend leaned in for the details in her eyeshadow. How did she fall in love with this person again?

"What color do you want your lips?" Mizuki brought out a few lipsticks from their makeup bag, all different shades of pink and red. Ena had hers in a pile on the floor beside them, with colors she didn't think she'd ever used.

"Surprise me," she decided after a moment of thought.

"Ooh, brave are we?" Mizuki reached out a hand to gently press on Ena's eyelids. "Close your eyes then!"

Ena felt a cold stick trailing over her lips, and her mind raced to try and find out which color Mizuki had chosen. Red? No, Mizuki wouldn't have been that bold. Hot pink? That wasn't right either. Mizuki surprisingly had doubts with that color. They'd mentioned it briefly on a Nightcord call once, Ena remembered. She also couldn't see Mizuki choosing any other color that wasn't in the red-pink shades either, like green or blue. Most of those didn't look right on her.

Meaning that it had to be...

"Done!" Mizuki declared happily. "Open your eyes!"

In the mirror Mizuki handed her, Ena's reflection blinked back at her, its eyes widening. A gentle pink was layered over Ena's lips, not too bright, just noticeable enough that someone glancing over wouldn't be able to tell but another gazing at her would. It was almost like a whispered wish, a wisp of cloud at dawn, a tiny brushstroke painting a flower petal.

It was what she'd expected the color would be. She smiled softly.

"It's great," she said, her heart lighter than a ribbon. "Now I'll do your makeup!"

Mizuki nodded in agreement. "Okay!"

Ena put a hand on her chin. How should she do this? Mizuki wore makeup on a regular basis - usually easier and basic things, like foundation and eyeliner, not too extreme. Ena didn't want to pile on makeup, but... she wanted to do something different. Something that would stand out, but only to someone that knew Mizuki. Only to her.

As an artist, Ena had spent most of her life studying things. Not academic wise, that was Mafuyu - studying how things would look on canvases. If she were to paint a scene of the city, how would she make the sky stand out or blend in? How would she make sure the tiny strokes of fur on wolves were visible or if they were just another wolf in the crowd? She almost laughed to herself. All these things where the answers came easily to her, and she had absolutely no idea where to begin on the beautiful, blank canvas of Mizuki's face.

Something that stands out. With the thought in her head, she began her work.

Mizuki usually didn't bother with eyeshadow - if anything, it was only the lightest pink. Ena wanted to stay true to that, while still adding a special flair. She brushed on a thin layer of pink, then added a second layer of lavender reaching from the ends to a blended halfway point on the eyelid. It almost reminded Ena of twilight.

She grinned. Now for the other eye.

"Hey Ena," Mizuki chattered. "Do you have any outfits planned for dress-up later? How should we do our hair? Do you have any movie recommendations? Because I do! What about -"

"Mizuki, stop moving!" Ena said indignantly. "Hold still." She reached out to rest her fingers on Mizuki's cheek, trying to steady their head. Mizuki fell silent instantly, their body still. The silence dragged on until Ena finally finished their eyeshadow, leaning back to survey her work, her hand slipping down to her side.

"Done!" she declared proudly before glancing down to the floor. "Hold on, I forgot the blush.."

She found the blush beside her leg, flicking it open and taking the already pink-pad out. When she looked up, however, Mizuki was struggling to meet her eyes. She paused, frowning, the pad of blush halfway to Mizuki's already bright face.

"What?" she asked with a small frown of confusion.

"E-eh?! Nothing!" Mizuki stammered for a bit, regaining their composure. Their cheeks slowly faded to their normal color. "Carry on, Ena!"

Ena didn't press further, instead opting to finish Mizuki's makeup. Lipstick wasn't that much of a problem since Mizuki usually used lip gloss, but it still took her a moment to think about. She settled on red, not too bright and softer around the edges. She finished off with a small touch of mascara.

"And.. done!" She set the mascara down and handed Mizuki the mirror, scooting over beside Mizuki to look in it as well.

"Wow, Ena! I look so cute~" A reflection of Mizuki's smile grinned at Ena in the mirror, and there was an involuntary tug at the corner of her lips. She rested her head on Mizuki's shoulder, savoring the warmth that radiated from her girlfriend.

"Yeah, you do," Ena breathed.

They stayed like that for a while, Ena's head on Mizuki's shoulder, Mizuki's head on hers, sharing in one another's presence. Every muscle in Ena's body relaxed, her worries and struggles fading from her mind. With her hand tight in Mizuki's, and their other arm wrapped around her shoulders, a blanket of comfort enfolded the two in a seemingly infinitely colorful tranquility. If only time could stop...

"Hmm.. wanna change into our pajamas now? Then we can draw each other!" Mizuki suggested excitedly. "And after that, we can play board games.. ooh, maybe we can bake something as well!"

"Hah? It's going to take all night to do all of that!"

Mizuki laughed. "It isn't a sleepover party if you don't keep going until you fall asleep!"

"Hold on, I think I've heard that somewhere before.."

"Haha, really~?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was supposed to be a little (lot) longer and they were supposed to do all the things Mizuki mentioned above, but I'd already not posted for a (really) long while and thought this was good enough :')) I'm not getting bored of it but it was hard to write for some reason ?? I'll try to do mizuena justice sometime... *cries*

Hope you enjoyed the show !!☆彡 Curtains closing~

[socstudies]

Hi, as someone who is going to be in their first year of college this fall, I'm curious about the note taking part

Is physical or digital note taking easier?

Is spending money on a laptop nessesary?

What is something you wish you would've done differently during your first year?

Do you have any advice?

If by any chance you see this, your blog and your aesthetic are amazing!

I'm wishing you a wonderful day/night.

If you do decide to reply, thank you in advance <3

helloo! sorry for the late reply & thank u for the ask! :)

ive tried both and i think i prefer handwritten notes, however they both have their pros and cons:

handwritten pros

proven to be better for retaining information

can't get distracted by other tabs

lighter to carry

costs less than a laptop

i've had some classes where we weren't allowed to use laptops so it's good to already be used to taking notes this way

cons:

much slower. sometimes i find im missing stuff and i have to go back to it at the end

have to print out diagrams etc if u want to include them

could possibly lose them, spill something etc

not enough space on desk for both laptop and notebook so u can't get slides up or google something

digital pros:

much quicker

easier to organise & pull up different notes at any time - u don't need to carry around or find older notebooks to be able to study or refer back to past classes

some people make notes directly onto the slides which u would have to print out if u wanted to do by hand

can also use for research and writing essays which u will need a computer for at some point so might as well do everything in one place

cons:

expensive

more stressful if u lose or break it

if u forget to charge it and u don't have paper .......

this upcoming year, im using a combination. most of the time i'll handwrite my notes, but for classes where they talk too quickly i'll type them (it's not worth the stress & extra time having to go back to recordings after). my notes for readings will be annotated straight onto the pdf. i'll be taking pictures of notes to put them all together.

---

unfortunately, i think it is because you'll need computer access to research and write ur essays, as well as to find course information etc. HOWEVER some universities (most?) have laptops that u can borrow and computers in the library, so if u know that you'll be motivated enough to get up and do all of ur work on campus, you could save this cost - bare in mind when u move off campus after first year it might be even harder. definitely look into this if cost is an issue for you! it doesn't need to be a fancy one if u do buy a laptop though, just remember u'll be carrying it around so don't get a super heavy one!

---

as for something i wish i'd done differently: as a sociology student, none of my classes have exams where i have to memorise things, instead it's all essay based. this led me to not 'study' i guess ??? like the stuff that i wrote my essays on, i knew like the back of my hand, but everything else i couldn't remember well. so if ur taking an essay based subject, remember that u still need to study a little & remember these things !! i was so overwhelmed tbh that i forgot about this oopsie!

---

extra advice:

when people say that after u skip one class, u'll skip the rest THEY. MEAN. IT. literally try so hard not to miss class bc you will never go again if u do. my classes would start off with not enough seats for everybody and end up with just a handful of us by the end of term.....

make time for urself !! it can become all consuming, especially if u live on campus, but pls make some dedicated time away from studying !!

u will find ur friends eventually. pls remember that it won't last or be that fun if u stick with friends who u don't have that much in common with just bc they were the first u met. tell me why i was going to bars and clubs with people in first term bc that;s what they wanted to do ????? it's ok to move onto different people bc u will eventually get tired of doing these things u don't like just to be able to hang out with people !! now i go to bookstores and cafes with my new friends and i love it!! don't settle !!

[suzdotranslation]

[Interview TL] Holostars 3rd Anniversary special long interview with 1st gen - Part Two

Source

The flagship raised together with the fans– What kinds of "future" that Hanasaki Miyabi, Kanade Izuru, Arurandeisu, and Rikka dreamed of? Male VTuber group "Holostars" 3rd-anniversary special interview (Part Two)

-The relationship within Holostars-

——Since everyone from the 1st generation is here, is there something you’d like to say to any Holostars members, especially on this occasion?

Arurandeisu: Ehh–! What should I say!?

Rikka: Something to say for the occasion huh...

Izuru: I do have something. At first, Miyabi was a very delicate and sensitive guy, so whenever I started pointing out something he did wrong he usually replied "I see..." with a bit of a dejected expression on him.

Miyabi: Oh yeah! (lol). It used to bother me a lot whenever someone did that to me.

Izuru: We're not that close at first, so doing that kinda stuff might've put extra pressure instead.

Miyabi: Basically yeah. Nowadays we treat it more like a regular banter though (lol).

Izuru: I often told him to go and lose some weight too nowadays–

Arurandeisu: Get a grip Miyabi-kun! You're going to make our juniors at UPROAR!! worried at this rate (lol).

Miyabi: I’m sorry–!!

Izuru: Nowadays we’re mostly chatting like regular friends easily, I think back then Miyabi once thought something along the lines of "engaging with him is no fun at all" when it comes to me (lol).

Miyabi: Ahahaha (lol).

——Ehh!?

Izuru: During our debut period, it was mostly filled with a drive to just do what we can to make this a success, but oftentimes it felt like we were just circling with no ends in sight. We then learned how to balance things eventually and nowadays, we pretty much have a clear goal in mind.

Rikka: Everyone was forcing themselves a lot that we had to take a step back in the end.

Arurandeisu: Was that (lifestyle) too harsh perhaps? (lol)

Rikka: Not really, but it's more like– you guys shouldn't force yourself that bad! kind of thing.

Izuru: That's right. Back then it was pretty much forced, whether it was someone trying to crack a joke or saying something that could be relatable... But now, we can just chat normally.

Miyabi: Yeah. We finally got to know each other well now.

Izuru: We also understand everyone's limit, just look at how much Aru-san is laughing nowadays compared to then.

Arurandeisu: I heard stuff like that a lot (lol).

Rikka: We didn't have that many group collab back then too and it made me worried about our legality as a "group" on its own. But thanks to the meet-up on that day (December 2022), it made me realize just how important it is to meet everyone else properly before anything else.

Miyabi/Arurandeisu: True that!

Izuru: There's a lot of things you'll find out by meeting them directly after all.

Arurandeisu: Huh? Now that you mentioned it Izuru-kun, you kept saying how you didn't want to go to the interview before, was it?

Izuru: (laughs)

Arurandeisu: While you were eating you kept going like "It's fine if I don't go, right". By the way,  I only said this now precisely because it's the only right time for it.

——I guess it is true in a way (lol).

Izuru: It's harder if I have to come up with an excuse after all... Recently I just did most of my work while grumbling at the side too (lol).

Rikka: I understand how that feels though… Going outside feels like a bother sometimes. There's stuff to prepare beforehand and those are just as important so we can't just ignore it.

——I guess that's right. It should be fine if we take precautions, otherwise things could get awry easily. Sometimes it would even kill your motivation.

Arurandeisu: That's true.

Izuru: Now that I recall, recently Miyabi kept saying stuff like "Glad I didn’t quit~" on every occasion he could.

Arurandeisu: Oh yeah! What's up with that?

Miyabi: That's how I truly felt after all. I'm not sure if it's because I was anxious about something though… But everyone has been with me since then anyway, so I think it's time for me to stop saying that (lol).

Izuru: This kind of lifestyle somehow pushes you to do something when you're not resting up I feel. If it wasn’t for weekends and national holidays we wouldn’t even bother taking breaks either. That's why everyone looked like they were always busy during these 3 years, though to be precise– the first 1.5 years was the most crucial of all.

Miyabi: That may be it!

Izuru: That's why I think it is pretty amazing that we could last over 3 years.

——Now that you said it, there is some truth to it.

Arurandeisu: From that alone, it sure is good that we were able to have this kind of talk during our 3rd anniversary I think.

——After hearing everyone talking about their experiences, it seems like things have been in a much better situation now huh...

Izuru: Compared to the early years, I don't think anyone is trying to force themselves as much anymore.

Miyabi: It does feel much easier mentally speaking.

Rikka: Yeah. Having to stream a lot was quite troubling after all.

Izuru: Some streams nearly every day and some others do long-hour streams, having seen it all may have given us the much-needed experience. It almost feels like we've gone through trials and errors just to find "our" own streaming style.

Arurandeisu: After doing that, we managed to present a stream style that reflected each of our personalities.

Rikka: And one thing to note is that everyone moves at a different pace, in a way it makes for a good balance too I think.

Izuru: I also think it's good to have everyone move at a different pace altogether. Now that I remembered, I did tell Aru-san something like "I think it's better to move at a slower pace so don’t force yourself out" as well.

Arurandeisu: I remember that one!

Izuru: Because you’ll eventually tire yourself like that, Aru-san. Nowadays, he has managed to find his own pace thanks to that experience I think.

Arurandeisu: I'm really glad about that as well.

Izuru: In a way, it's nice that the 9 of us don't intervene with each other’s activity as much. We always gather around when we have to anyway, I think that itself sets off a good balance between ourselves.

Arurandeisu: In a way it's like respecting each other's solo activity huh...

Izuru: Not to make a comparison, but this kind of relationship that each Holostars members have toward each other is less common among others, I think.

Arurandeisu: I get what you mean. This is just my own opinion but I do think we're still getting along despite that.

Izuru: As more people join, having a clique formed inside it is mostly unavoidable. But for Holostars, it almost feels like there's no distance between us all.

Rikka: And I feel like everyone also has a soft spot. Like making sure we wouldn't stream over each other and such (lol)

Izuru: And even if we did, most would say stuff like "Sorry!!" and all (lol).

Miyabi: We casually chat with each other using emotes/stickers (on Discord) as well.

Arurandeisu: Though we don't appear as close on-screen, we care about each other a lot off-screen, to be honest.

Izuru: That's the sentiment that applies to everyone right? The same goes for UPROAR!!'s members as well.

-First-hand experience at the 3rd-anniversary event!?-

——Let's move to the last topic of this interview, the 3rd-anniversary event! Regarding the event that will be held on June 26th, can you explain what kind of event would it be?

Rikka: It will mostly feature 3D variety entertainment which will be a different experience compared to our previous events. To be honest, we rarely do this kind of event, to say the least.

Miyabi: You're right, we rarely do something similar.

Izuru: I guess being able to meet everyone in a "venue" almost "directly" would excite most people. Since the situation around has started to lighten up as well, it would be nice if this type of event could become something of a main among others.

Miyabi: It's always nice to be able to meet our fans be it on-site or stream after all.

Rikka: Besides meeting via an in-site venue, I think there's also a different kind of experience you can get through online meet-ups. Not only by watching, but we can also communicate through actions and other things.

Izuru: We'll be having in-site and livestream comment participation as well, so there are various ways to get the audience involved in the event.

Arurandeisu: That's right. Whether you were attending in person or watching through a live stream, all of us will be able to enjoy the events together! In a way, this event will be a joyful one for everyone involved!

Miyabi: Compared to our previous events, it's nice that we were able to have an event where our fans are actively "involved" in it.

Izuru: In a way, it will be our first-hand experience, right!?

——Ohh!

Arurandeisu: I hope everyone will be looking forward to it as much now.

-What does "Holostars" mean for everyone?-

——With the 3rd anniversary getting closer, if there's anyone who has something they like to challenge, a new goal, or perhaps a new dream– please let us know!

Miyabi: Maybe not exactly a "dream", but I’ve been uploading vlog-style videos recently, not a normal type of vlog but one that makes use of my VTuber self. For now, I hope I can keep doing something like this for a while. Also considering that Cover Corp. will surely continue to expand themselves, I'd like to attempt things that aren't done by many VTubers, starting with the 3rd anniversary, I'd like to challenge the limit of VTubers and try out many new things in the future.

——I've watched several of the videos already, and it almost feels like we're being taken on a trip together, it was a satisfying experience.

Miyabi: Thank you so much! I still have some videos to be uploaded soon, so I hope you can look forward to those as well.

Arurandeisu: You did go to a lot of places huh... Trying out new genres of activities is a pretty good dream to have.

Miyabi: I'd like to be the pioneer for a one-of-a-kind genre myself!

——How exciting. We will be looking forward to your future activities! How about Izuru-san?

Izuru: To be honest, I'm in the middle of tidying up some "stuff" right now...

All: Tidying up "stuff"!?

Izuru: It's probably not the kind that everyone initially thought about to be honest (lol).

——Please do elaborate!

Izuru: I was busy taking care of my moving process mostly. Personally, it would be nice if I could make content out of my outdoor activities I guess. Regarding my dream, I'd like to sing in a place where being a VTuber doesn’t matter much. I think it would also help more aspiring VTubers to appear in various media easily. Like doing anime theme songs and such.

Arurandeisu: Oh–!

Izuru: Also we rarely have TV broadcast appearances, so I thought I'd like to try it as well if possible. Lastly, I hope to continue my activity for as long as I can!

Arurandeisu: I share a similar dream with Izuru-kun, but since I like doing 3D streams I'd like to make a TV appearance while utilizing my 3D body. Izuru-kun would be focusing on the music side but as for me, I'd like to use my 3D appearance to go over the limit of the wide web through TV broadcasting. I feel like it would be nice if I could do my activities in a different and much bigger place possible.

——Maybe in the future, you will be the host of your own TV program perhaps...?

Arurandeisu: Talking about the bigger scale already!?

All: (laughs)

Arurandeisu: Though it would be nice if I have something like that in the future, for now, I'd like to focus on what's ahead as I try to broaden my reach and work myself toward that goal.

——It might be interesting to see what 3D Arurandeisu-san will come up with in the future! How about you, Rikka-san?

Rikka: Rather than prefacing myself as a "Vtuber" entity, I'd like to be known as someone who does music as normal people do. "This person makes music huh–", and "So this is what Holostars is about–" are among many comments I'd like to hear from people once Holostars are more known to the public, and I hope it will come to a point where it's more normalized to know about us.

Arurandeisu: How cool~!

Rikka: Once Holostars has spread its popularity, we can look back and go "We really done did it huh," to each other.

Izuru: You're right. It would be nice if Holostars became as popular as a known movie. Being able to be accepted widely for a long years must've been nice.

Rikka: I think everyone had the same thought, that is why we're all doing what we can now.

Miyabi: Yeah!

Arurandeisu: We're gonna get bigger soon surely~!!!

——That makes us excited to cheer for you guys as well...! Our last question is a big one but if it's alright… Please let us know what "Holostars" means for each of you.

Rikka: Wow it's like a contest of passion (lol).

Arurandeisu: So, you guys wanna say it together or–?

Miyabi: Sounds nice~!

Izuru: We'll say it in the count of three then?

Arurandeisu: Let's do that then. 1... 2... "What is Holostars to you?" and 3–!

All: (incomprehensible)!

Arurandeisu: Wait a minute, is everyone saying different things!? What did you say Miyabi?

Miyabi: Club activities!

(Everyone laughed together)

Arurandeisu: But why!?

Miyabi: I mean, it does feel like we're training to try reaching the national-scale competition together...

Izuru: That sure is Miyabi-like.

Rikka: For me, my answer is "family".

Izuru: Me too!

Arurandeisu: I said the same too!

Miyabi/Izuru: Absolutely not! It was "buddies"!

Arurandeisu: Ahhh~~~!

All: (laughs)

Izuru: For now, we have Miyabi with "club activities", me and Rikka's "family" and Arurandeisu's "Buddies".

Rikka: I guess we can sort the other two into "family" in a way.

Arurandeisu: We're like a group of people being bounded by an invisible string of bonds it seems.

——Thank you very much for your time, as a closing remark please tell us your message to everyone looking forward to the 3rd anniversary and those reading this article... Let's start from Hanasaki Miyabi-san!

Miyabi: Holostars will be hitting its 3rd year soon, but this is also where we will continue to grow even further. I believe we were able to do all these thanks to our listener's neverending support, and I hope even more people will check out Holostars from now on as well. Please watch over Holostars in the future too!

——Next, Kanade Izuru-san, please.

Izuru: Personally, this 3rd year also marked the 3rd start of my activity.

Arurandeisu: Whoa! How cool!

Rikka: That sounds nice!

Izuru: I would be happy if everyone continues to support us in the future, and I hope we can have fun together. We'll see you at the 3rd-anniversary event soon!

——And next, Arurandeisu-san if you would.

Arurandeisu: First off, thank you for inviting us to this opportunity.

Izuru: So serious!

Arurandeisu: I always am!

All: (laughs)

Arurandeisu: Everyone has their interpretation about what these 3 years meant for them, as for me– it's something that flashes by quickly. Within those times are numerous moments I've spent with fellow Holostars members, and alongside those who have been watching me over these past years, so it feels like these 3 years are something we all worked on together. I'm very thankful that we were able to hold this anniversary event during such important times. And during these years, I feel like Holostars had evolved much further as well. So to those who only start knowing about us or those who have been supporting us, I'd like to keep them excited for what's to come in the future.

For that, please keep supporting and watching over us from now on too! And to those going to the event, do look forward to it!

——Lastly, Rikka-san, please.

Rikka: Being happy about my fans' support is obvious, but whenever people say something like "I recently started supporting you!" it makes me really happy as well. I always welcome anyone to check us out anytime, and since you can catch us easily through streams or events, it's alright to watch us comfortably and casually as it makes me just as happy. I may say it like it’s an important thing but really, I'm not exaggerating or anything!

Miyabi/Izuru/Arurandeisu: Ahahaha (lol).

Rikka: "So there are streamers like this too huh, maybe I'll check them out", even things like that are just as valid. Trust me. And of course, I'll be doing my best so as not to bore our current fans too, so please look over us in the future too. With that said, let us meet at the 3rd-anniversary event and stream!

——Thank you very much, everyone!

[i-luvsang]

hi!! sorry for the late ass response, i've been wanting to reply earlier but life has been pretty hectic :(.

personally i love love loveeeee pet names!! like even the super silly ones like 'skrunkly' and 'pookie' i always forget not everyone uses those and most ppl probably find it cringe. it's very endearing in my opinion? pet names and nicknames just feel more personal for some reason?? like recently i've started using my nickname more and most of my friends have started referring to me using my nickname and idk it just makes me so happy :,)

and thank you so so sooooo much for the writing advice <333 the 'asking yourself questions to guide your own thinking' tip is so helpful!! i think when i do an attempt at writing or try to progress an idea i get overwhelmed at how much i still need to think through if that makes sense?? like my concept or idea is so small and i have to think abt a plot, and the progress and just the logistics behind everything?

i've also spend some time on pinterest making boards with like locations for visualisations? idk i'm a very visual person whenever i do an attempt at writing so i kinda needed that and it's actually been so much fun!! i've also had some fun ideas for a playlist regarding certain small ideas, i have a few songs that kind off give the same vibes i want to go for and it kinda helps me visualise and create some sort of scene in my head where the song would work as bg music yk? it makes me excited just thinking abt developing my ideas and actually writing it!

sadly i haven't had any time to start writing yet :(. i have some exciting ideas and in general i've been feeling more excited to actually write instead of feeling like procrastinating the process but i've been so exhausted lately bcs of school so i haven't rlly been in the right mindset to write, like whenever i have free time i just want to rest.

my assignments this year are bigger and more important so i'm trying to actually study this year and procrastinate less. so far i'm proud of myself bcs i spend this weekend actually doing my work and writing down important future deadlines instead of procrastinating and doing everything last minute so!! big win for me!!

enough abt me tho!! how are you?? how is college going? how are your classes going? and also if you don't mind me asking, what are you majoring in?

ps. i'm very excited for your upcoming fics!!! — 🎧

hELLOOOOO no worries at all darling !! i'm glad to here that you love pet names because i love using them hehe. i agree that silly ones are so much fun to use and super cute. yk i've always wished i could have a nickname that my friends call me but it's just never been a thing LOL but i have my online friends who call me nicknames and i love that <333

even if you haven't had the time to start writing yet, i'm super glad to hear that you think my advice is helpful for you !! i wish you the best of luck when you do find some time !! i totally get feeling motivation but not having the time or energy :,) it's like DUDE THE ONE TIME I ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE WRITING I CANTTTTT i've been behind on writing too tbh. i have a collab fic due at the end of the month and i'm only a few hundred words in akfjaksjdf

babe you should be so so proud of yourself, the fact that you've been able to battle procrastination and stuff like that is honestly super impressive and absolutely something you should be proud of, so i'm glad that you are !!!! but even if there are times where procrastination gets the best of you, remember that that's alright too! we're not built to be perfect at this <33

in terms of me! lollll i'm not fighting the procrastination too well myself, but that's alright lol. it's a very mixed bag if i'm very honest lol the adjustment has been pretty hard and i'm feeling a lot of old anxieties come back since i'm so overwhelmed. but! i've still been having a lot of nice experiences with new friends and experiences and i think that once i'm able to settle down i'll be having blast far more than i am now hehe. classes themselves aren't too bad though!! i took a pretty light course load for this semester which i think was a really nice choice for me. and i'm majoring in studio arts !!

askdhfjs i'm very glad you're excited, i am too !!! i hope you'll enjoy what's in storeeee

[royallyprincesslilly]

Hi ! Sorry to pop out of nowhere like that but I wanted to ask what keeps you motivated to write ? Because I've been writing for a few months but the more time goes by, the less motivated I feel.

People rarely interact with me, they just like and scroll. I'm trying to engage interactions but it doesn't work like that. I feel like I'm pouring my entire soul and energy in my writing but I don't have get much in return. I really don't know how I should feel. Sometimes, I'm wondering if my writing is the problem. I don't know. You're kind of a popular writer around here so I wanted to have your opinion or advice on the subject. If you don't mind of course.

Sorry for the long rant 😓

Hey anon.

No, you're good, no need to apologize. I am sorry it took so long to reply to this I didn't forget and I wasn't ignoring it. I get asked this a lot and I just wanted to compose something thoughtful and honest and hopefully helpful. Buckle in this will be long. I apologize in advance.

Honestly, I understand your feelings on this. I can understand it gets really hard to write when interaction is minimal. I can understand that it makes you feel like what's the point and make you want to stop or even doubt your ability to write well even when you feel like you are putting everything into your writing. I know so many people who feel this exact way and I get it.

So here we go. The advice I can give, and I hate to give it because in no way do I feel like I am qualified to give any (that damn imposter syndrome is a bi*ch🥴), is instead of writing with an expectation to get something back i.e interaction, likes, reblogs, popularity, etc, write for YOU. Write every single day, write everything you can, especially things outside your comfort zone, and genres you would be normally, try new ways of writing because through that you get stronger and better and your ideas also get stronger and better.

The one thing many don't realize is that most and probably all writers whether indie, traditionally published, freelance, or hobby go through this. Either their work isn't picked up for traditional pub, or their indie work gets such low to no sales, or their hobby writing gets little to no hits. It's a rite of passage I've learned. It is also a test to you not only as a writer but of your character and drive. either one quits and moves on or they say hell no and push forward.

For me, it means I can't just give up on it and mope because of it. If writing is truly something you (and to be clear, I use you loosely and generally, it is not pointed at you) love and wish for as a career you have to push forward through it, you have to develop really tough skin and a seriously strong neck to keep your head high and in the direction of your end goal.

When I started writing on here when the 1st Black Panther movie came out (holy hell it's been such a long ass time) my writing didn't blast off and I didn't gain tens of thousands of likes or readers who interacted regularly by liking and reblogging right away, it took time. There was no instant gratification. In fact, it took a lot of work, dedication, consistency, and effort into developing a way to set myself apart from other writers because there are a lot of us on here.

Nevertheless, for me, writing has never been primarily about interaction and things of that sort. It's been about sanity and finding a way to keep sane in this world as well as escape a little through my worlds and characters. I don't write on here and post for anyone other than me. I've found a way to let all the other stuff fall to the wayside because it will mentally trap you and make you go on this endless loop

And I know this is so much easier said than done. I get it completely. It does take time and work to change your mindset and not allow the things you mentioned to bog you down. I know the work and introspective it takes and it's hard. Yet, it is worth it.

I stay motivated because it is still fun for me. Writing is still something that doesn't feel like a job, it is something I can always depend on to get me out of a bad mood or lift my spirits when I'm not feeling my best. I stay motivated because my head still produces the ideas and it is still exciting to plot out worlds and characters who are assholes, angels, and everything in between and I still have plenty of stories to tell that I know no one else will be able to tell like I can, in the way I can, and the way I envision it.

The same is true for your writing. You have a story to tell in your way and you should write it and share it because no one will tell it like you. No one has the ability to. I doubt that your skill as a writer is the problem. That is always our go-to intrusive thought that maybe our skill is subpar or the content is not engaging enough to capture the readers. If you feel that way truly find someone you trust on here or in RL who can serve as a neutral reviewer and have them provide constructive criticism.

Push forward. I like to hold on to the saying "Build it and they will come". It's stupid but it applies to writing, write it and the readers, etc will come. It may take time but it will happen.

Also, think of it this way a like is an interaction too. Yeah, we may want paragraphs of praise or thoughts and feedback on if it was good and j get it, but a like can also be someone's way of saying "I enjoyed this, I have no thoughts that are worth sharing but I read it and enjoyed it." I know it is the bare minimum that can be done but it is something.

I am all about looking at the small victories these days, the small accomplishments, small gestures, etc. It can help.

I hope this was helpful and it didn't come off preachy, harsh or condescending because it absolutely wasn't meant that way at all.

[mypoisonedvine]

The Perfect Fit | Bucky Barnes x reader (part 2)

(part 1)

summary: after getting fitted by you, bucky’s going to try on the custom-made suits he’s bought.  unless he makes his move now, he may not get to see you again, and he can’t let that happen.

word count: 6.5k

warnings: smut!!, fingering, oral (m and f receiving), a little d/s energy, mirror kink, stomach bulge kink, slight pain kink?, creampie kink, pussy spanking, light bondage, bucky being jealous

Bucky had a bone to pick with Tony, which was usually true but this wasn’t work-related for once.  It wasn’t hard to find him in the same place he’d seen him last— eating his lunch in the kitchen, with Sam nearby chowing down on lo mein with a spring roll.

“Hey lefty, what’s cracking?” Tony greeted, mouth full but talking loudly anyways.  

"I went down to that tailor you recommended—" Bucky began, but Tony was quick to interrupt.

"You went there?  Dude, it's a really nice place, you can just call and she'll come to you instead, way more convenient."

"So now you say 'she'?"

Realization dawned on Tony’s expression.  "Ahh, I get it.  You're not used to a female tailor.  Adds a little spice to getting fitted, huh?" he grinned, elbowing Bucky playfully.

Bucky’s throat felt a little dry when he heard that.  "Don't tell me that's why you use her…"

"Hey now, I'm not a creep, I use her cause she's the best, and those house calls are great for discretion— you know, being a celebrity and all.  The eye candy part is just gravy."

"Gravy candy sounds disgusting," Sam chimed in, missing the point entirely.

"Yeah, well, she mentioned some stuff that sure made you sound like a creep."

"Okay, well, you can't blame me for getting caught staring when I'm surrounded by fucking mirrors.  Makes it hard to be stealthy."

"You could try not staring,” Bucky suggested flatly.

"Is that what you did?"

Tony smirked when Bucky failed to reply immediately.  "Okay, so it's easier said than done,” Bucky admitted with a frown, “but still, I hope these house calls were strictly professional."

“What’s it to you, man?  I think somebody’s jealous,” Tony purred.  

“What?  No, it’s not that,” Bucky denied.

“You love her,” Tony sing-songed, completely ignoring Bucky.  “You looooooove her!”

"You are so immature," Bucky rolled his eyes, even though his heart was racing and he was pretty sure he was blushing.  

"No, it's good for you!  She's a catch, you're all brooding and stuff— maybe she can melt the Winter Soldier's frozen heart, hm?"

Sam laughed heartily.  "Stark, you read too many comic books."

"You're saying you don't wanna see Icy Hot here shoot his shot with my tailor?" Tony asked, turning his attention towards Sam.

Sam pondered that, much to Bucky's dismay.  "Depends.  How hot is she?"

"Mega," Tony smirked confidently.  "Legs for miles, and she wears these skirts that make her ass look—"

"I think I've heard enough," Bucky groaned.  "I'm leaving.  And don't ask when I'm going to see her again," he instructed, interrupting Tony just as he'd opened his mouth to speak, "because I won’t tell you.”

As Bucky left, he could hear Tony calling out into the hall: “But I’d be such a great wingman!”

//

Truth be told, Bucky had put off mastering the use of his smartphone.  It wasn’t just that new technology made him feel old, but that he knew nobody would be calling or messaging him anyways; if the phone didn’t work, he would spare himself the embarrassment of waiting up for nothing.

But once he knew you were going to call?  Suddenly, he was motivated to figure the sucker out.

A few hours later and now all he had to do was stare at it to make sure he wouldn’t miss you.  Luckily, you didn’t make him wait too long.  He recognized the number and decided to let it ring a few times before picking up, so it would seem like he had other things to do besides talk to you.

“Hello?” Bucky asked when he answered, so it would seem like he had other people calling him besides you.

You introduced yourself so formally that he was a little afraid that all that fun energy between you two would be gone.  Thankfully, once he asked what you were calling about, you were back to being cheery and casual again.

“I was just calling to schedule when I could come by with your new suits!” you explained, sounding chipper.

His fingertips were a little tingly just from hearing you talk, nervousness making him antsy (in a weirdly good way).  “I know you said it’s a one-person operation,” he responded smarmily, “but I figured you would outsource delivery.”

You scoffed, though it sounded more amused than irritated.  “It’s not just delivery, I have to check the fit and make sure everything’s exactly to your liking.”

“Oh, well, I’m free all day tomorrow— and I think you already know my address.”  Was it too forward?  Too obvious?  And why did Bucky spend half the time when he was talking to you second-guessing himself?

“Yes, Stark Tower is a relatively common destination for me.  If he doesn’t mind us using it, Tony has a dressing room with plenty of mirrors so you can get a good look.  But, I’d be happy to just go up to your quarters if that’s easier.”

He was not at all ready for you to see his room.  No way he could clean it enough in the next twelve hours; and even then, lots of the team had made fun of how empty and plain it was, so he knew it would just make you think he was boring.

“I’m sure Tony won’t mind you using his dressing room, but he might mind me using it,” Bucky chuckled.

“Well, if he makes a fuss I’ll be sure to set him straight,” you decided confidently.  Somehow, imagining you cursing out Tony was almost hotter than imagining you doing anything else.  “Be sure to bring down your dress shoes so you get the full look and everything.”

“Uhhh…” he trailed off as he scratched the back of his head, trying to remember if he owned anything other than combat boots.  “Not sure I still have those, to be honest.”

"Okay, you'll need shoes too,” you noted aloud, your voice a little distant; he figured you were writing things down, which was why you sounded distracted.  “What size are you?"

"Thirteen."

"I'll bring a selection tomorrow,” you announced firmly.  “And socks, of course.  And some watches, maybe?  And pocket squares."

"Is that it?" he asked sarcastically.

“Oh right, I’m bringing the ties you picked out, too.  I’ll throw in some alternates in case your original choices don’t match the way you were hoping.”

“You really are full-service,” he chuckled.

“I get that a lot,” you replied, a hint of coyness to your tone.

There it was again; that jealousy.  He hated it because he knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t stop it either.  As much as his mind was completely aware that you were an independent, modern woman capable of handling herself, his heart was equally determined to protect you, and spoil you, and do whatever was necessary to make sure you were safe.  

Worse, his gut was less innocent.  Mine, it demanded, all mine.  Nobody else’s.

He pushed it down and just tried to get through the rest of the call without saying something he’d regret.  You confirmed the date and time with him, and he tried not to be too aggressive when he said he was looking forward to it.  

He hung up his phone and sighed, staring off into space.  Now all that was left to do was wait, and be overwhelmed with anxiety.  Thankfully, he was good at the second thing.

//

"So, what do you think?" 

I think you look so damn good from every angle.  I think I might spend all my money on suits just to be sure I can see you again.  I think you need somebody to love you the way you deserve.  I think you’d look like an angel waking up in my bed.  

You waved your hand in front of his face for a moment, calling his attention back to reality.  “Helloooo?”

Drawn out of his trance, Bucky finally looked in the menagerie of mirrors surrounding him and admired his reflection, amazed by the perfect fit of his first suit.  The difference in quality between this and something off the rack was beyond apparent.  Most of all, your talent was undeniable.  "I think it's beautiful."

You smiled proudly.  "Of course it is, but do you like how you look in it?"

"Honestly?  I feel a bit… out of place.  I'm obviously not classy enough for a suit like this."

"Oh, nonsense," you dismissed.  

He frowned, convinced this was all flattery.  "No, seriously, this is… maybe I should just wear tactical gear to every event."

"Well, you'd still look good, but you're not always a soldier.  Sometimes you're only a man.  And every man should own a fine suit."

It was much too profound of a thing to say while you casually straightened his jacket, only to pop out from behind his reflection to smile at him in the mirror.

“Let’s get the next one on you,” you decided, helping him lose the jacket but having him move into a private dressing room to switch trousers and shirts.  “I put a turtleneck in there instead of just a regular button-up,” you explained through the door as he changed, “in case you wanted to see it that way.”

Once he’d put it on, he stepped back out and you were looking at him so proudly— well, you were looking at your handiwork with pride, really, but he could pretend it was for him and hope actually impress you that much one day.

“I went with a shawl lapel on this one, as opposed to the last one which was notched,” you explained as you traced the line with your finger.  “Spoiler: the next one has a peak lapel.  But enough about that one: what do you think of this one?”

“This looks like something my friend Sam would wear,” Bucky decided as he looked at himself in the cranberry suit and black turtleneck.  The shoes you’d had him try on with this were intricate as well, with subtle stitching in the leather and a shine so immaculate he could almost see a reflection in them.  

“Well, is your friend Sam stylish?” you asked.  

“He would certainly say so,” he smirked.

“I’m inclined to agree, because you—” you gave him a thorough glance up and down, so thorough in fact that he felt a bit exposed under your gaze, “—look marvelous.”

“Not pretentious?” 

“No, no, it works on you,” you assured, “you’ve got the looks for it.”

“And what looks are those?”

“Um… good?  Good looks?” 

He definitely remembered a time when that seemed like the obvious answer, because he had relied on being good-looking for a lot of things in life, but that felt very far away now.  Maybe it was just that people who didn’t know what he’d done could still think he was good looking, but everyone else saw the evil within beginning to leak out the way that he did.  

But you knew what he’d done, didn’t you?  You had to.  You knew Tony, you were here at the Tower… unless you were intentionally not up-to-date on current events, you must have heard of the Winter Soldier.

“Don’t act so surprised,” you huffed, “as if it’s a big secret or something.  You’re obviously very attractive.”

Bucky cleared his throat nervously.  “Uh, thanks.”  He wanted to return the compliment, but thought it might be inappropriate or rude somehow.  You broke the silence quickly as you held up two pocket squares in front of him.

“Which of these do you prefer?” you prompted.  He selected the solid gold one, making you smile.  “I knew you’d pick that one.”

“How?”

“I dunno, just fits you,” you shrugged as you folded it and gently placed it in his pocket.  Even through so many layers, your touch on his chest made his heart flutter.  Your fingers brushing over his as you slipped a watch onto his wrist was enough to cause palpitations.

He looked better in this ensemble than he expected.  This version of himself looked much more likely to be invited to parties than any other version.  If only he actually wanted to go to parties.

You put him in the pinstripe suit last, after putting a few pins in the cranberry suit to indicate minor changes you would make later, and stepped back to ponder your work.

"Hm, unbutton those top two buttons for me?" you requested with a raised eyebrow.

I will if you do, he thought to himself, but silently unbuttoned his own shirt anyway.

"I mean, it definitely works like this, but I wanna see you in a tie.  And I've got juuuuust the one," you smiled.  Soon you were approaching him with a red paisley tie, and helping him button up his shirt and tying the tie for him— you explained something about how it was a unique knot he likely couldn't do himself, but he was too lost in having you so close to notice.  It would be so easy to just reach up and grab your waist, pull you into a kiss, finally tell you how bad he wants you.

Well, it would be physically easy, but it would be very scary.  Just imagining it had his heart racing.

“I heard from Tony this morning,” you informed him suddenly, slipping the tie around his neck and popping his collar up for him.

“Really?  Is he in need of a wardrobe update?”

“Yes, but he hasn’t realized that yet so that wasn’t what he called about.”

He laughed a little at the jab, though it also made him a little worried what secret opinions you held about his own style (or lack thereof).

“We talked about you, actually,” you added.

“O-oh,” Bucky stammered, “uh, he’s not exactly my biggest fan.  So whatever he said probably isn’t true.”

“He said that you have a crush on me,” you replied nonchalantly, not even looking up from your work on his tie.

Bucky gulped, and he knew you saw the bob of his Adam’s apple because you were staring right at his neck.

“Like I said, Tony isn’t a very reliable source,” Bucky replied, but his voice cracked in the middle and he cringed internally.

“I’ll write it off as another one of Tony’s off-color jokes then,” you dismissed, perfecting the knot of his tie and stepping back to observe him.  He always felt nervous when you looked at him like that, like he couldn’t hide anything from you.

“What… what did you say, when he told you that?” Bucky asked nervously.

“I asked him what he was smoking and if I could have some,” you laughed.  “I thought it was totally impossible— and don’t worry, I didn’t tell him that you got hard when I did your inseam.”

Bucky’s throat became dry at the same moment that his palms got clammy.

“I— um, I was just—”

“Oh, it’s fine,” you dismissed quickly, still talking about this all so casually which only made him even more confused, “you’re not the first, it happens.”

“I’m not the first?!” 

“Yeah, if anything you were one of the few who didn’t say something creepy about it, which is always appreciated.  It’s just a bodily reaction, you can’t control it.”

“Did Tony ever say something creepy?” Bucky pressed, his hands involuntarily tightening into fists— another bodily reaction he couldn’t control.

“You know, Tony said you were really worried that he had been inappropriate with me, or even that he and I had a fling or something,” you added as you stepped back, giving him a quizzical look, “and now it’s sort of sounding like he was right.”

“No, no, it’s not that, I just—”

“Was he right about anything else?” you pressed, raising an eyebrow.

“I was being nosy, I’m sorry,” he sighed, “it’s just that… and I know it’s none of my business, but the idea of him and you… it isn’t a pleasant mental image.”

You laughed a little, in a way that made him feel kind of small.  “Why not?  You know how he is.  Definitely has a wandering eye… and occasionally a wandering hand.”

Bucky winced.  “I swear, if he ever put his hands on you, I’ll go find him right now and beat him senseless.”

“What if I wanted him to?”

He nearly saw red, but he knew he had no right to be angry.  You were a grown adult and he had no ownership over you… he just sort of wished that he did.

“So it’s true then?  You and him…?”

“No, Bucky,” you laughed, “it’s not.  Nothing’s ever happened between us.  I generally don’t get involved with clients like that.”

“Generally?  Is there an exception?”

You chewed your lip, seemingly a little thrown off by his question.  “Uh, I mean, no— I’ve never been involved with a client, no, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Why would you say ‘generally’ then?”

“Uh, I guess I just… I wouldn’t want to rule anything out, that’s all.  Never say never.”

And for a moment he almost wondered if you were flirting with him.  Certainly not, with him having come across as both a jealous hot-head and a bumbling dweeb who pops a boner faster than a randy teenager, but just for a second the way you looked at him was… questionable.

“I mean, who knows,” you continued, “what if, hypothetically, some gorgeous guy walked into my store one night— a sensitive guy, who made me laugh and put up with me rambling about ties for the better part of an hour— and I was supposed to dress him up when all I wanted to do was undress him?”

Your finger started to trail down his chest lightly, tickling his skin through the dress shirt. 

“I wouldn’t want to think he was off-limits just because he’s a customer… right?” you asked quietly, looking up at him and biting your lip.

He was afraid to make the wrong move, but he really really hoped this was flirting.

“I don’t think anyone would object to being dressed or undressed by you,” Bucky responded, hoping he could stay neutral until he was sure what you were talking about.

You chewed your lip, looking away as if you were thinking about something. 

"I know I certainly haven't.  And wouldn't," he added, feeling the need to say something.

You nodded, placing his tie inside his jacket and seeming happy with your work.

“You know, the fit looks great," you announced, "but I’m a little worried that one of the measurements was wrong.  Mind if I do your inseam again?”

His throat was dry all of a sudden, but he responded quickly anyways.  "Uh, go ahead…"

You looked up at him as you started to sink to your knees, very slowly.  That little move looked real good in the mirror behind you.  “Last time I did this, there was something getting in the way, made it difficult to know if I was doing it right…”

"M-my apologies," he whispered.

"Oh no, I'm not complaining," you purred as you slowly began to run your fingers up the side of his leg, keeping searing eye contact until his knees felt a little weak.

When your hand reached the top of his inner thigh, the back of it brushed against his balls and he shivered.  Delicately, and so excruciatingly slowly, your hand moved higher and gently rubbed his erection through the fabric.  

“Fuck,” he whispered under his breath.

It must have been all the anticipation that made it so intense, made shivers run up his spine every time your hand moved over his length, made his toes curl inside the ridiculously fancy shoes you’d put him in.

“I’m gonna take it out now, okay?  I promise I won’t measure you here,” you winked.

"You can if you want," he shrugged, deciding now was the time for feigned confidence if there ever was one.  “I mean, if you’re worried about fit…”

You bit your lip, and he was proud to see the effect his words had on you.  “I’ll be honest, I am a little worried it won’t fit…”  You were quick with his belt, but slow with his button and fly, apparently having more fun teasing him.  “Fuck, Bucky,” you groaned softly as you took his cock out.

“Don’t look so excited, doll, you’ll give me an ego,” he purred.

“Can’t help it,” you sighed, “looks delicious.”

You licked a long wet stripe up from the bottom all the way to the tip, making a show of licking up the bead of pre-cum before taking his head into your mouth, and Bucky blinked a few times to be sure that this was actually happening.

"Been wanting to do that since I first saw you," you admitted, grinning as you stroked him right beside your face, which only helped to illustrate how big he was compared to you.

"Dirty girl," he praised with a smirk.  

Flirting, he wasn’t so good at.  Conversation in any form typically stressed him out.  But this?  This he was still pretty good at.  And he’d never wanted it so bad before.

When you took him in your mouth again, you didn’t stop until you started to gag; he couldn’t stop himself from moaning through his teeth when you did it.

"Look up at me, princess," he instructed softly, grinning when you obeyed quickly.  "Now look over there at that mirror.  Look how good you look on your knees for me, choking on my cock."

You moaned around him when you made eye contact with your own reflection, and it felt so fucking good he almost lost it right then and there. He held your jaw, almost too tightly, and guided you as your head bobbed on his length.  Your mouth was so warm he thought he would burn up— and it only got warmer the deeper he managed to get.  God, he was so ready to pump his load right into your throat, but he wanted to do so much more to you first.  

In one quick motion, he pushed you off of his cock, pulled you up to face him, and flipped you around, holding you to his chest with the metal arm and letting the flesh one start rubbing your thigh.  This way, both of you were looking at the mirror in front of you, and he loved watching you gasp and moan as you felt and watched his fingers move higher and higher.

“I think it’s time to find out if you really are ‘full-service’,” he purred right against your ear, making searing eye contact with you in the reflection.  “You’ve seen so much of me, but I haven’t seen nearly enough of you yet.  Been daydreaming about what you could be hiding under these tight little skirts.”

As he pulled up the plaid-patterned fabric, he saw that you were wearing white, lacy panties and he groaned deeply.  

“What are you wearing these for?” he teased, rubbing along the edge but never getting where you wanted— and he knew you were getting desperate, because your hips were starting to buck up into his hand.  “Were you expecting something would happen today, sweetheart?”

“I— I was hopeful,” you stammered; instantly, he slapped you right on your barely-covered pussy, just hard enough to make you yelp and squirm in his grasp.  

“You’re so shameless,” he chuckled darkly, “and I love it.  I just hope this isn’t your usual routine— acting all innocent and batting your eyes so your clients will fuck you.”

“No, I swear, it’s just you, Bucky,” you whimpered, “there’s nobody else, please…”

“Please what?  Tell me what you want.”

“I want you to… to touch me more,” you whispered, as if it was a secret and not patently obvious.

He slipped two fingers underneath the thin fabric, finding your clit right away (not difficult at all with how swollen it was) and rubbing it in gentle circles.

“Oh god,” you sighed, “Bucky…”

WIth his hand on your hips, it wasn’t hard at all to push you back into him so he could rub his aching cock against you.  

"What material is this skirt made of?" 

"It's a silk blend," you answered breathlessly, "about 30% cotton."

"It's soft," he purred before yanking your skirt up higher and pressing his cock against your ass instead, "but not as soft as you."

Next to go was your blouse, which he tore open to the sound of buttons flying every direction and bouncing off of the mirrors and floors.

"Bucky!" you yelped, but he could see your nipples harden through the lacy white bra.  If there was any doubt that you had intended to seduce him today, the matching undergarments dispelled it.

After teasing your nipples between his fingers for a moment, he reached back down between your legs— and when his fingers slipped through your folds and moved down to your opening, he actually moaned just from how wet you are.

"Fucking hell," he growled, "you are drenched, princess.  You liked sucking me off that much?"

"Not just that," you clarified, "you look really good in my suits."

He gave you a toothy smile in the mirror, using it to nibble on your ear a bit.  "You deserve most of the credit for that," he purred.

"No, no, I don't," you whined, "you'd look sexy in a paper bag, honestly… you turn me on so much, Bucky."

“Did you… think about me?  After I left your shop the other night?” he asked playfully, already foreseeing your answer from the way your thighs clenched and your lips let out the subtlest gasp.

“Yes,” you whimpered.

“You’re smart enough to know I want you to be more specific than that,” he chuckled.

“I thought about you that night… after I got into bed…” you elaborated slowly, clearly distracted by the way he was moving his fingers: delicately, but with obvious intentionality.  “I thought about what it would’ve been like if you had grabbed me and kissed me, shoved me against the wall, fucked me right there on my desk… in front of the glass wall, where anyone could’ve walked by and seen you claim me…”

His cock was throbbing, and he wasn’t sure if it was from the image itself or from the knowledge that you’d been fantasizing about it.  “Were you touching yourself?” he growled.

“Yes,” you sighed, your thighs starting to visibly shake, your knees bending towards each other in the mirror.

“Show me how,” he demanded.  “Show me exactly how you were playing with your needy little pussy while you thought about me.”

Your hand found its place on top of his, your fingers starting to move his to the specific place, guiding his movements to be faster and rougher.

“Oh, I see,” he grinned, “you don’t like to tease yourself, do you?  You like to jump right into it, come as many times as you can and rub yourself raw in the process?”

You nodded feverishly, panting and whining and writhing in his grasp.

“You’re so desperate, honey… such a shameless cockwhore for me.”

“For you,” you repeated through your trance, “Bucky, ‘m close… keep touching me, please…”

He kept his thumb on your clit but gently slid one finger inside you, both of you gasping at the sensation (if for different reasons).

“So tight,” he hissed, already pulling it back out, “fuck, and just for one finger…”

“More, please,” you begged mindlessly.

“More?  Sure you can take it?”

You bit down on your lip as you nodded, and he pushed a second finger in beside his first.  He felt you struggling with it, both in your walls and in the way you winced a little, but you softly begged him to keep going so of course he couldn’t stop.  You adjusted quickly, your wetness starting to run down his hand.  

“Fuck me,” you whimpered, “now, please, can’t wait anymore.”

“Yes you can,” he encouraged, “and you will, cause I need to taste you first.”

Pulling his fingers out of you, he flipped you around again, finally kissing you the way he’d been dreaming of since he first saw you.  It was intense but not too dominating— in spite of everything.  It was a romantic sort of kiss, maybe too romantic for the situation (that being his cock out and hard and pressed against you, and his fingers covered in your arousal) but perfect nonetheless.

“That’s not what I thought you meant when you said you wanted to taste me,” you giggled when he pulled away.

“No, I meant it the other way,” he smiled, “I just wanted to do that first.”  

He picked you up suddenly, making you gasp a bit, but knelt down to lay you on the floor pretty soon after.  You looked up at him with wide eyes as he lifted your leg and kissed his way up.  He could smell your need, and he worried it would drive him wild before he reached his destination.

Pulling your soaked panties aside, he realized he could probably come just from looking at you.  “Such a gorgeous pussy,” he growled his praise, leaning down to plant a few more teasing kisses over the inside of your thighs.  Finally, he started with one long lick, just like you had with him, but you weren’t so patient to tolerate it.  Nearly instantly your fingers pulled his hair, clearly trying to guide him to tease you less, but he couldn’t be swayed to go easy on you.

“I hope you’re not forgetting who’s in charge,” he smiled hungrily.

“And what if I am?” you returned, clearly looking to get on his nerves so he’d get rough with you.  He was happy to oblige.

Bucky sat up and loosened his tie, slipping it off of his neck with a smirk.  "Now, this is 100% Venetian silk, so it should feel nice around your wrists," he cooed.  You offered your hands willingly, and he got a chance to show off a few complex knots of his own.  "Now be a good girl and keep those hands above your head, alright?"

You did as he asked, freeing him to hold your legs open as he devoured you, alternating between teasing your bud with the tip of his tongue, and fucking you with it.  

"You taste like heaven, doll," he growled when he came up quickly, "and the way you moan when my tongue's inside you?  I swear I could die happy right now."

"I wish you wouldn't though," you whimpered.

He laughed a bit before he got back to it, letting his tongue focus on your clit while he filled you with his fingers again.  Your walls clenched down on him occasionally, and when it became more frequent just as your moans became louder, he knew you were close.

"Stop, stop," you sighed suddenly, pushing him away.

"Are you alright?" he asked, nervous he'd done something wrong.  

"No I'm fine, I just… I don't want to come yet.  I want you inside me first."

"And what about what I want, hm?  What if I want to watch you come just from my tongue?" he offered instead, though he was definitely still very persuadable in this regard.

"I know you wanna fuck me, Bucky, don't make me wait any longer,” you moaned, your back arching up a little from the floor.

Not needing to be told twice, he flipped you onto your elbows and knees, making sure you could support yourself with bound wrists before letting you go.  His hands running over your exposed ass and thighs made you shiver, and he smiled down at you.  At this point, he was probably more desperate than you were, but he was doing a much better job of hiding it, even taking the time to reach up and undo a few of the buttons of his shirt, because wow suits are warm and not meant for his level of physical activity.

Still, he figured he had waited long enough— he needed to fuck you while he still had at least a shred of patience left.  He was going to need it if he was going to give you time to adjust to him.

Holding his cock and rubbing it through your folds, he chuckled when you whined and dropped your head down in a pout.  He loved watching your expression shift into a gasp as he pushed in.

He went slow, but he didn't stop either.  He wanted to test you just a little.  He wanted to stretch you open.

"Fuck," you cried, "god, you're so… you feel so…"

"Look in the mirror," he instructed coldly, although the coldness was just a front for the way he was holding himself back as your body swallowed him so beautifully.

You moaned again, higher-pitched and weak, just as he finally got all the way in.  He waited until he felt your body relax a bit before he asked if it was okay for him to move yet.  You answered with a quick nod, a breathy "please," and he didn't need any more encouragement.

It was probably too fast to start off with, but god, he'd been waiting so long to fuck you like this.

"Baby," he whispered, "you're so perfect."

He held you steady and thrusted deep, so deep that it made you gasp each time.  You looked incredible, and you felt incredible, but the way you sounded was just… divine.  He could never have imagined the beautiful way you would sound when he was bringing you pleasure like this.  Having heard it, he wanted to make you sound like this as often as possible from now on.  Technically he couldn’t even be sure he’d get another chance to, but surely sounds this perfect meant you had to be having a good time, right?  Ideally a good enough time to call him again?

He was snapped back to focus when he saw your eyes flutter shut with pleasure.

"Don't look away from that mirror, honey," he growled, "don't close your eyes.  Look how pretty you look like this."

He could tell you loved it from the way your channel fluttered and flexed.

"You like watching yourself get fucked, princess?"

"Yes," you sobbed as he grabbed your hips harder, hoping to leave a bruise, "it feels so good, Bucky, please don't stop!"

"I won't stop, pretty girl.  Not until you cream on my cock," he grunted. 

"Fuck, I'm close," you whined, "Bucky, I'm gonna come— oh god right there!"

And he was sure it couldn’t be fake from the way your body tightened and released so many times, the way you quivered and your breathing seemed to stop for a moment.  Even though he could barely take it, he kept fucking you through it until you were shaking so violently that he worried about your health.

“You feel so goddamn good when you come, princess,” he moaned softly.  “Tryin’ to milk my cock for all it’s worth, aren’t you?”

You laughed a little, sounding exhausted, but as he kept fucking you he could feel how sensitive you had become.  When he reached down to push your skirt back up to your waist after it had started to fall down a bit, he felt his own movements in your gut and it took so much not to lose his cool in that moment.  Instead, he pulled your upper body into his so that you could see in the mirror the way your lower stomach was bulging a bit each time he pushed in all the way.

"F-fuck, Bucky," you whimpered.

"Anybody ever been that deep inside you before?"

"No, not even close," you moaned.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked gently, kissing up and down your neck slowly to match his lazy, teasing thrusts.

"A little," you admitted, "but it feels good.  Don't stop."

He wasn’t so brutal with his thrusts, still deep but with a patient, measured pace.  It staved off his orgasm a bit longer, and it made you moan all slow and throaty which was not better or worse than the needy, high-pitched moans, but enjoyably different.  You didn’t sound as desperate anymore (probably because you’d already come), instead seeming relaxed and calm— if still arching your back and biting your lip nonetheless.

"I wanna come inside you," he whispered right against your ear; he could feel the way you shivered as a result.

"Please," you whimpered.

"Is that what you want?  Wanna be full of my come?"

"Yes," you sobbed, "yes, please Bucky I need it so bad!"

"Fuck, gonna fill you up so good, doll," he promised gruffly.  "Want me to make you mine, beautiful?"

He knew it was a risky thing to say, but his risks had paid off so far, and he wasn't in his most cautious mood.

"Already yours, Bucky," you sighed, "I'm yours, please come in me…"

It hit him suddenly when you said that, and harder than he expected.  He hadn't come like that in… he hadn't come like that ever.  He preferred not to think about the sudden, wavering moan he let out in that moment because he wondered if it sounded unsexy, but thankfully his mind was distracted by the overwhelming sensation of his softening, sensitive cock still within you.

He managed to maneuver you in the way he needed as he pulled out, leaning you back into him and holding your legs open to the mirror in front of you.

"Look in the mirror, sweetheart,” he instructed, his whisper a little labored as he was still catching his breath, “watch my come leak outta your pussy."

You seemed to be in awe of it, despite it being the obvious outcome of what had just happened.  To be fair, he was in awe of it in a sense, too; a thick, slow stream of sticky white come dripping down from your swollen hole and onto the floor… it was mesmerizing.

Your body was limp in his arms as he finally allowed you to rest, your eyes falling shut as you melted into his embrace.  He took a moment to untie your wrists, tossing the garment aside with an exhausted sigh.  “Bucky…” you mumbled sleepily, apparently just to say his name.

“Was that… sort of what you were hoping for today?” he asked softly, kissing your temple.

“And more,” you giggled.  “Oh my god, I… I don’t even know how to describe that… you’re so… fuck, I don’t know, my brain is totally jelly right now.”

“In a good way?”

“In the best way.”

He smiled, admiring your vacant-yet-pleased expression and feeling satisfied with his work.  You turned over to lay your head on his chest, and he gladly draped his arms around you in response.  Holding you like this felt so purely right, in a way so few things did to him.  Funny enough, even just having fucked you on the floor and already holding you afterwards right now, he felt nervous again that he would say something wrong.  You were a modern woman, after all, and maybe this was this ‘hook-up culture’ he kept hearing about.

“Was that true what you said, doll?” he asked gently, feeling you stir a little and slide a leg up to rest over his.  “Did you mean it when you said that you were mine?  Or was it just, you know, the heat of the moment…?”

You smiled a little, looking kind of embarrassed.  “Um, yeah, I meant that… I’m yours, if you want me to be.”

He didn’t feel as guilty for feeling so possessive over you now.  Clearly it was appreciated, in the right context.  And he was now at least 75% sure that this wasn’t a hook-up.  “Well, I’m yours, too,” he replied with a soft laugh, “whether you want me or not.”

“I want you,” you confirmed.

You laid in silence together for some unknowable amount of time, but it was a purely unawkward silence.  A peaceful silence, and one filled with possibilities, but not uncomfortable.  Maybe it was uncomfortable in the sense that the carpet, while still being very plushy and expensive, was still the floor and not as forgiving as a bed… but it was completely worth it.

Part of him feared to ruin the moment by speaking, but much more of him feared that you would slip out of his grasp if he didn’t say something.  "This may be the wrong time to ask this— or maybe just the wrong order to do this stuff in— but I wanted to ask if you'd like to join me for dinner sometime."

You laughed, but cuddled deeper into his chest.  "Um, yeah, that would be nice."

"I just hope I'll find something nice to wear," he grinned.

[explosionshark]

Do you have any advice for fanfic writers just starting out? I’d love to post something someday, I only started writing fanfic a couple months ago, and keep it all to myself. Some of y’all out there (read: you) are so good at this it’s terrifyingly intimidating. I’m not sure I’ll ever be that good and I’m not sure how to improve, nor how to know when something is worth posting at all. Somedays I wanna be a writer and share so bad, but other days I think “what’s the point?” if I’ll never be that good. It’s tempting just to throw everything I have in the garbage. Also, writing fanfic is a new concept to me and I also really struggle with telling whether what I’ve created is in character. Basically…I love your writing, and, help??

first off, thank you so much for the kind compliments! it's flattering that you like my work so much and that you came to me for advice on this. it's important to keep in mind that everyone's journey into writing is different, but since i've been in fandom over half my life now, i can offer you a little bit of what i've learned has worked for me over the years

i know it's tough not to do, but you should try not comparing your work (especially when you're just starting out!) to others. i know that's not easy - i still have a hard time with this sometimes! but it's rarely helpful. it's good (and even motivating!) to find aspirational work in your fandom of choice, but once you start using that work to undermine your own confidence instead of inspiring yourself, it stops being helpful. i don't want my work to make you feel like it's not worth trying! i want you to create and enjoy the process!

i answered an ask similar to this some time ago. linking it here for a more detailed answer but the bullet points:

read fic! read books! read articles! read!

REVIEW - specifically, leave the kinds of reviews you would like to get on your own work. be specific and detailed. this is nice for the writer, it's good for you because it helps you learn to identify what you like in stories, which means you'll have a better understanding of how to apply those concepts to your own work, and it makes you more active in the fandom! (also, pro tip: if you review frequently and well, those writers will be more likely to check your stuff out and offer feedback too)

piggybacking off that - engage with people's posts! make rec lists. make meta/HC posts. leave replies. send asks. put yourself out there. meeting people in the fandom and engaging in fandom activities will make you more motivated. reach out to the writers you like, leave those good reviews we were talking about (they'll remember you), and if you're feeling spicy offer to beta. i credit beta-ing for friends and people i admired for helping me develop a lot of skill and confidence. it's a great way to learn from other people

re: keeping things in character - this can be really intimidating! if you know people who are familiar with the source material, see if any of them would be down for reading and offering you feedback! if that's too scary or not an option, well - take some notes! what character traits do you want to keep in mind? quirks of speech? what type of physicality do the characters have? what motivates them and how transparent are they prepared to be about it? ask yourself stuff like this, the things you like in other work or find important to your story, and write it down! make your own reference list, until you feel confident enough. sometimes it's nice to have something concrete to refer to, when you're editing or stuck in a scene

don't give up!!!! if i had given up when i was feeling unskilled, inexperienced, and unconfident i would never have gotten to where i am now. keep in mind the work you're reading and enjoying from me is the product of like 16 years of doing the damn thing!

Writing fic can be a really fun and rewarding hobby. For me, it's also a great social activity, because I get to meet so many cool people (yes, this means you too!) through it. The worst thing you can do when you're starting out (or ever?) is need the work to be perfect. Remember - finished is better than perfect will ever be.

At the end of the day, everyone's here because we love the same stuff and we want to have fun. Fanwork is a thing we do FOR FREE for each other! It's a gift you're putting out there for everyone else like you. That's something worth at least trying out, right?

i promise all these anxieties you're having are extremely common (i share or have shared... basically all of them lmao) but it's not worth letting them hold you back from having a potentially really great experience with your fellow nerds. i believe in you! write that fic! post that fic! you can do it!

[sunnysunoo]

Love Letters ; Sim Jake

Pairing: Jake X Reader

warnings: explicit language and cursing

word count: 3k words

genre: friends to lovers au! fluff with tiny pieces of crack lmao

Jake was always known for being this perfect guy in school. I mean, they're not wrong. They always described him as if he's this walking piece of art in the hallways. People would stop to just stare at him. You'd stare at him all day too, but you set priorities first: writing him love letters.

You're no Lara Jean, but I guess you can say that she's what inspired you to write Jake letters. Who needs Peter Kavinsky when Jake Shim exists anyways?

note: Not me completely disappearing off of tumblr for like months and then showing up again suddenly lol. I got really busy the past few months since I was completing requirements for school, and I really didn't have the motivation to do anything at the time so I took so time off to take care of myself first so I hope you understand :) But now since it's summer break, I am given at least 2 more months until I go back to school in August :)) Here's the long-awaited Jake imagine that I completely forgot about lmao hope you enjoy <3

P.S I finished writing this at 1:26 am so please excuse the really shitty plot and grammar ill rewrite it once i wake up

tag list: @cha-raena ( sorry for the rlly late post bestie )

Dear Jake, First of all, I will never call you Jaeyun because calling you by your English name makes me feel like I'm your friend. Calling you by your Korean name makes us feel like we're cold strangers to one another and I don't want that. I want us to be something more than that, but it's hard when you don't even know who I am. I'm surprised how you don't grow tired of me just dropping letters right into your locker every time you open it, and that's one of the things I love about you. You don't just throw away people's efforts and you treasure them with care. It makes my heart beat so fast as if I ran miles away from here.

We're already one year left until we graduate high school, and I don't want to end my high school years without you realizing my feelings for you. I know for sure that you would never reciprocate the feelings that I have towards you, so I want to treat this as closure in case we do forget about each other in the future. Yours truly,

Moon

__

"How is this person not over you? That's like the tenth one this month," Jay said, looking over Jake as he reads the letter from his secret admirer. Jake has always been receiving these letters from the same person everyday for the past four months. He's thankful for the letters because they definitely make his day better, knowing that there's someone out there who loves him as who he is regardless of looks. He's not gonna lie that these little notes and letters make his heart race too. "Do you have any plans with finding the person behind the letters?" Jay asked as he watches his best friend trying to hide the small smile that's been growing. No one really knows who this mysterious person is and why they decided to name themselves the moon, but we don't judge anyone in here. If they want to be the moon in their next life, then so be it. "I really want to find the person who's making these letters," Jake shoved the letter in his backpack, trying to not wrinkle it. "But I don't know where to start." "Who's finding who?" A voice popped suddenly beside the presence of the two boys. You leaned beside the locker beside Jake's, watching him as he grabs his books from his locker. "Did Moon drop your daily letter today again?" "They did as usual," Jake wasn't even surprised. He would expect the letters every time he enters the school in the morning. He would open his locker to see the usual small letter placed inside his locker. He usually arrives at seven or earlier, but he's surprised that he could never even catch a glance of this anonymous sender around the campus. "Should I go to school at five in the morning?" "Five in the morning? Isn't that a bit too early?" You questioned, followed by a shaky breath. "The school doesn't even open until six." "I could just walk to that nearby convenience store I always pass by to grab a coffee." He argues, closing his locker shut before walking towards his classroom.

You and Jay followed beside him, and you sneered under your breath, "You don't even wake up to your alarm clock."

"Why don't you even want me to go early anyway?" He glances as you try to give him an answer. But before you could say something, Jay replies first.

"You’re probably hiding something." He said. You rolled your eyes and narrowed your eyes at him. "You are so weird." You grunted, before walking ahead of them. You feel panicked because you were scared that you made yourself obvious to them.

__

You were inside your classroom sitting on your desk. There were only fifteen minutes left before lunch, but you had eaten your packed meal before instead of going to your school cafeteria. You were fidgeting in your place, conflicted about Jake finding his secret admirer, not knowing that it was you who's been sending him letters the past few months. You're not scared of him finding out that the letters were from you; that was the entire reason why you wrote him letters in the first place. You're scared of how he was gonna confront you about it. Would he like you back? Would he hate you? Would he avoid you?

Your mind was full of scenarios but you were suddenly brought back to reality when a hand planted itself on your desk. You look up and saw Jay standing in front of you, eating sushi with his other hand. His face kinda looks like he knows something, and it's freaking you out a bit.

"What?" You asked, suddenly flustered over how his eyes stared right into you. He took the seat in front of your desk and flipped it so it was facing you. He sat down and blurted the phrase that you were dreading to hear from anyone.

"So, you like Jake?"

You suddenly feel like punching him in the face with his sushi.

"What??" Your body felt like, and you were left a nervous mess. Your heart like it was going to pump right out of your chest any minute, and your hands started to sweat.

Jay's mouth formed into a smirk. He caught you. "Jake may be a bit oblivious, but I can totally see right through you."

“Haha...no you don’t,” You tried to deny, but it was all useless when his expression looked unconvinced.

“Oh yeah? Then why are you all red? You look like a bursting tomato.”

“You don’t know that," You leaned further into your seat, playing with the strings of your hoodie.

“C’mon Y/N, you’re not even trying. Just give up and admit it,” Jay was trying to help you confess your feelings for Jake. Frankly, he knew it was you sending him letters this whole time—how can Jake not see it?

With a heavy sigh, you slumped and laid your head on your desk, embarrassed. “Fine. I like him, okay? Are you happy now?”

The smirk on his face grew wider, feeling proud of himself. You are not dealing with his annoying crap this early in the morning. He grinned and munched on his half-eaten sushi. “I knew it.”

“Congratulations,” It was muffled because you hid your red face away from him. All that was on your mind now was how you could book yourself a flight all the way across the world.

“But seriously, since when did you have a crush on him?” You raised your head to face him, giving him a look that could kill, except Jay finds it entertaining rather than intimidating.

“I started having a crush on him when we were in fifth grade. It was at a friend's birthday party, and he saw me being all quiet and lonely. Honestly, I forgot who’s birthday that was.” You told him the very first time you had discovered feelings.

“He saw how sad I looked so he accompanied me the whole time. He was even trying to feel more included in the games and stuff.” You felt a smile ghosting on your lips as you can still vividly remember how you felt your heart tug the first time. “It was kinda like I fell in love at first sight.”

Jay faked a gag, so you lightly punched him in the shoulder. He may be a bit of an asshole, but he’s one the most caring and kind people you’ve ever met. It honestly felt good spilling out your feelings about Jake to him.

Speaking of, Jake was watching you two play around and laugh at Jay's little jokes from outside, and he felt something burning from inside him. Was it that he felt jealous of you and Jay?

No, he can’t be...right?

Maybe it was because of how he felt separated from you and Jay because of him being a separate class.

Yeah, maybe it's because of that.

__

Dear Jake,

I just had the most bizarre day today, and I felt like telling you about it.

It was chemistry period, and we had to be partnered with someone for a lab project. I ended up getting paired with Yeojin. We kinda created this unexpected friendship, which I love. We would crack jokes at each other, tell funny stories, it was so fun to be with her that we had completely forgotten about our project. So now, we both got a detention slip for making an accidental explosion.

How about you? How was your day? I hope it was just as fun as mine. If you feel like the day just wasn't as happy or you're feeling down, just now that it's okay to feel that way because days like these just lasts for 24 hours. It will be all over before you know it and you'll be greeted by another day. Maybe it will be different, and you would be all happy again just like how my day went. Maybe being with you would be my happiest day yet, and I couldn't wait for that day to come. See you soon :)

Love,

Moon

__

"Yeojin!" Jake called, seeing her walk down the opposite way. "Hey, mind if I ask you something?"

"Hey Jake," She greeted him with a smile. "Sure, go ahead."

"Could you perhaps give me any information about your partner in Chemistry?" He had hopes of getting any kind of description about his mysterious sender, but he was instead given a sad frown on Yeojin's face.

"Sorry Jake, but that person told me not to tell you about their information." She gave an apologetic smile. "I wish you all the best in finding them!"

Jake muttered a small "okay," and sighed before walking away, feeling defeated.

Yeojin knew that he was gonna ask about Moon the moment he called her from across the hall. She couldn't wait to tell you about this.

__

"Hey Y/N," A voice said from behind. You turned around to see Jake with his backup hung on his shoulder. He brought his hand up and raked his hair, and you felt your face grow red. Jake is like a gift from the gods. How can someone look so ethereal even if they're just standing there? You could stare at him all day. You couldn't even understand a thing he said until he started waving his hands in front of you.

"Hello?" You blinked multiple times as you were brought back out to reality. You saw Jake's face grow into concern. "Are you okay? spaced out."

"O-oh..No, I'm completely fine." You reassured him, feeling embarrassed. "What were you saying again?"

"I was asking you if you wanted to go to school with me early tomorrow."

Well, shit.

Your eyes started to go wide, and your hands started to go clammy.

"Tomorrow?" You repeated, voice trembling.

'Well, yeah." He pouted his lips, and you felt like melting into a small puddle in your place. Your heart started to pound heavily.

Oh my fucking god, he is so adorable.

"Okay, sure I can go with you tomorrow," You weakly smiled at him, slightly tense.

How we're you going to give him the letter now?

__

"Good Morning," Jake said as he watches you close the gates of your house. It was past five in the morning, and you were a mess.

"Morning," You replied back before running your fingers through your hair, getting rid of any flyaways.

As you started walking your way to the bus stop, Jake kept on glancing towards you from time to time. He knew you were pretty, but since when did you become really beautiful in his eyes?

The walk was pretty quiet, but it was a comfortable silence. For him, mostly.

Meanwhile, you couldn't stop freaking out. You had written a letter the night before, but you don't know how you were going to slip it into his locker without him taking notice. If he saw you, he would know.

"Are you sure you're okay? You've been like this since yesterday," Jake blurted. You looked at him before heaving a sigh.

"It's nothing," You mouthed, suddenly feeling anxious and gloomy.

"Something on your mind?"

"Something like that." It was hopeless. I guess he would have to miss this letter today. It was the first time you skipped a day, and you're feeling guilty that you would have to see Jake's face sadden that he wouldn't receive it today.

As you two stop at the bus stop, Jake looked slightly panicked as he was rummaging through the pockets of his blazer before looking through his bag. "Hey, do you have an extra pen? I left mine at home and I have a quiz today."

You snickered, "Out of all the days, Sim Jake. The same day you have a quiz is the same day you forget your pen."

"Very funny." He scoffed.

As you unzipped your bag to grab your pencil case, a folded piece of paper fell out without you realizing it. When Jake went to pick it up, he notices that it was folded the same way as the letters in his locker. It looked so identical.

Once you already got your pencil case out, you were about to hand it to him when you saw what he was holding that made your body freeze with your hand holding the case in the air.

"Why were one of my letters inside your bag?" He glanced at you, waiting for you to reply.

If you were freaking out before, this is a whole other thing. The thing that you were fearing the most is happening right before you.

"Maybe it fell into my bag yesterday..." You stammered, making up an excuse to look like it was an accident. You were tightly holding onto your pencil case, chanting many curse words in your head as you watch Jake unfold the letter.

"I don't think I've received this one yet," He said before he opened the letter and read it.

You watch as his expression formed into confusion as he reads through the paper. It only took a few moments before something in him clicked that it was you sending him the letters.

"Y/N," He began, and you started quivering in fear.

You should've known this would happen, but you didn't expect it to happen this sooner. In fact, you believed that this wouldn't happen at all. But it did.

"Let me explain," You eventually gave up and accepted fate and watch as your identity as "Moon" be revealed to your crush. You're now exposed so you didn't have any other choice but to explain everything. "Yes, I am Moon. I was the one writing you the letters that you've been getting in your locker."

Jake's face was unreadable. He looked bewildered and puzzled. He was trying to comprehend what was happening right now. All this time, it was you?

"I started crushing on you when we attended that birthday party before. I didn't want to confess my feelings for you because I was scared that you were going to harshly reject me, so I started writing down letters as a way to tell you how I feel about you without making you feel awkward around me." You continued, eyes suddenly taking an interest in your shoes. They were brand new too.

Jake was silent, and you felt your heart crack into pieces. You were mad at yourself for being so careless about it that he ended up finding out about you as his secret admirer. You wanted nothing else but to run back home, lock yourself in your room and cry with your sad playlist on loop.

You were expecting a harsh rejection coming from him, but what surprised was how he took dangerous steps towards you, minimizing the gap between you two. He placed his hand under your chin, forcing you to look up at him.

"I don't plan on rejecting you Y/N," You stare into his eyes as it reflects the sunlight of the early morning. "I'm actually happy that it was you."

You look at him, puzzled. He lowly chuckles under his breath before leaning over to place his lips against yours. It was a light, quick kiss, but it brought you feeling ecstatic. You've dreamed of this moment before, and now that it happened, you thanked your clumsiness.

As he pulled away, you were sure your face was a red mess.

"Thank you," His smile was as bright as the stars in the sky. It was the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. "Thank you for making me like I'm special to someone."

You felt flustered over his words. You were scared that he could hear the sound of your heart pounding loudly. The butterflies in your stomach were going wild, and you felt like this was all a dream.

"So, what am I to you now?" You broke into a smile as he grabs your hand, intertwining your fingers with his.

Jake acted as if he was thinking, "Hm..maybe my best friend still?"

He bursts into a fit of giggles as he sees your smile slowly disappear, replacing it with a look of disbelief. You removed your hand from his and walked at a faster pace away from him.

He ran to match your pace beside you before holding your hand again, "I'm sorry, I won't ever do that again. Is my girl mad at me?"

"Oh my god, it's only five-fifty, Jake." You too broke into laughter over his cheesiness, but your heart fluttered over the thought of Jake calling you his.

__

HERE’S A LITTLE BONUS! since I've made you guys wait for 4 months :(

"What the fuck?" Was the first thing You heard from Jay as you and Jake entered the classroom. All of your classmates were staring at your and his hands intertwined together.

Jay stood in front of you two, crossing his arms together. "Can one of you explain when this happened?" he motioned towards your linking hands. You and Jake smiled at each other before walking away, leaving Jay in a fit of joy, and confusion.

[kuroos-babie]

Falling in Love with a Single Mom

Sugawara x fem!Reader | Kenma x fem!Reader

[ Headcanons/MiniFic ]

Request: hi!! i absolutely loved your single mum hc and please could you write the same but with sugawara and kenma? thank you so much- you’re doing great!!! — anonymous 

a/n: sorry it took so long!! wasn't feeling motivated lately and didn't want to put out half-assed stuff :(( I HOPE U LIKE THIS ANON!!!!!

❀ suga sat in front of the class, observing his class of 4 year-olds with a gentle smile on his face.

❀ they were all minding their own, occasionally calling out for their teacher when they were short on glue and fancy stickers, checking up on their tablemates to compare their crafts

❀ one particular student catches his eye as the child opted to lay on his arms folded on top of his desk, looking sullen, instead of working on the given task; a father’s day card

“hey, is everything all right? are you not feeling well?”, his voice was soft as he approached the boy and his eyes grew softer when the he shook his head and proceeded to bury his face between his arms.

“why aren’t you making a card, then? look, all your friends are doing one for their dads.”

“i don’t even have a dad to give it to, why would i even make one.”

suga was taken aback by the young one’s words but stood his ground

“give it to me then, i’ll be your substitute dad”, he said with a gentle hand on the boy’s back, smiling even wider when the boy looked at him with a giddy smile

“really?”

❀ the child then proceeded to work on a card; enumerating all the nice things he likes about his teacher-turned-substitute-dad

❀ after adding the final sprinkle of glitter, he excitedly went to show his finished product

❀ suga scanned his work, his smile never leaving his face but the clumsily written bit at the end left his heart soft with sympathy for the little boy

❀ “i wish suga-san really was my dad, we would have lots of fun playing at the park and mama won’t be too lonely anymore!”

❀ when the day came to a wrap, he found himself being dragged through the halls, your child pulling him by the sleeve

"mama said she'll be picking me up today!"

he laughed nervously but continued to match the boy's little steps, "that's great! but why do i have to come with?"

"i want you to meet mama! i bet you'll like her, she's really nice, her food is amazing!! and she's the preeeeeettiest girl ever"

❀ and oh boy was he right

❀ suga couldn't contain the the wild blush that found it's way to his face, tinting his cheeks and the tip of his ears

❀ he hasn't felt this flustered since kiyoko held his hands

❀ he watched the boy let go of his sleeve to run to you, meeting him with a sweet smile

"mama! suga-san said he'd be my dad so i can have someone to give my dad's day card to!!"

you looked shocked. then confused. and then just plainly amused.

"baby, i told you to call your teachers sensei, haven't i?"

"but if he's my dad now should i still be calling him sensei?"

"you'd only cause trouble, baby. besides, i don't think he wants to be a full-time dad just yet, isn't that right sensei?"

you shot him an apologetic smile and he glance at the boy whose eyes are already brimming with tears

"i-i wouldn't mind at all!", he blurted out before he could even stop himself

his face flushed an even deeper shade of red which you found endearingly cute, "I MEAN ONLY IF YOU WANTED TO. IF HE! if he.. wanted to, i mean. yes."

❀ and that is how he found himself sat in your living room floor two weeks later, playing legos with your son

❀ he knew he couldn't be with you just yet, not when he still has your son as his student

❀ but when he glances at you busily preparing food in the kitchen and at the little boy on the floor trying to make turtles out of legos, he knew he'd be able to wait for a bit more.

❀ you and kenma lived in the same apartment complex, on the same floor, separated by a single wall

❀ being a new mom living alone with her 3-month old child wasn't easy

❀ sleepless nights, panicked grocery runs, and a shit ton of noise complaints from your neighbor

❀ noise complaints in the form of small pieces of paper slipped through the crack of your door

❀ "pls quiet down, trying to sleep. ty"

❀ but it was one evening when kenma had a scheduled stream and your baby's been inconsolable for the last 45 minutes, her cries seeping through the thin walls and bouncing across kenma's flat that he decided to come over yours

he knocked at your door, annoyance clearly shown in the way his eyebrows are knitted in a frown

"can you please do quiet down a bit? i'm trying to stream and the mic's picking up your baby's... crying"

he couldn't help but notice your disheveled look; wrinkled shirt, eyebags and tear-stained cheeks while you held your child, rubbing circles on her back in an attempt to calm her down.

"i'm very very sorry, she hasn't been feeling well. i'm sorry for the trouble, i really am"

he couldn't possibly be mad at you still, he figured you had it really tough and kenma's not the type to deliberately make you suffer even more

with a sigh and a quiet, "it's fine, i guess", he went back to his unit, deciding to cancel the stream just this once

❀ that evening, kenma laid on his bed thinking about you, or your situation rather.

❀ you woke up the next morning with a bag of groceries hanging on your doorknob

❀ it was full of cupped ramen, gatorade, a couple jars of baby food and a note in the same neat handwriting

❀ "i'll be next door if u need any help"

❀ you continued finding random treats at your doorstep with little notes for a few more weeks

"i ordered too much, u can have it."

"sponsor sent some stuff i didn't need."

"friend brought food, couldn't finish it all."

❀ you find it sweet but couldn't help feeling guilty having to bother your quiet neighbor like this

❀ so you decided to post your own little note on your door, hoping he'd find it

❀ "what food do u like?"

❀ the same hour you put it up, you heard shuffling outside your door

❀ and as expected there was another bag of instant ramen with your note scribbled with his reply

❀ "apple pie"

❀ a week passed with radio silence between you two, even your baby has been cooperative enough in your mission of trying to make apple pie

❀ soon you found yourself in front of the door right beside yours, freshly baked apple pie in your mitten-clad hands and your daughter blubbering in her carrier on your back

you knocked.

"uhm hi, i'm y/n. i made some apple pie, figured you wanna share."

kenma's eyes were wide and his cheeks dusted pink the same shade of yours.

he ushered you inside and prepared two plates and forks for the both of you.

"thanks for the stuff" was your meek attempt at breaking the silence.

"it's nothing really"

you noticed him silently looking at your daughter whose hands found their way into her mouth

carefully placing her from your lap to kenma's you giggled as panic flashed in his eyes.

he held her nonetheless, smiling softly as she reached out a slobbered hand to his cheeks and letting out curious coos

❀ you both soon found comfort in each other's homes, coming and going as you both shared takeout, home-cooked meals and stories in between

❀ kenma's fondess for your child grew apparent in the way he'd let her crawl all over him and tug at his hair and the way he held her up just to hear her giggles and the way you'd find him passed out on your couch with your baby on his chest and a protective arm around her

❀ what wasn't obvious to you was the way he would stare at you lovingly as you tucked your daughter to sleep in her crib every afternoon, or the way his little notes turned to subtle love confessions

❀ or the way he's been building up the courage in asking you to move in to a new house together and be a real family.

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 32

💖 first time reader click here 💖

Summary: Stephen Strange being a grown-up. Reader being a grown-up. Kind of. Revenge plot starts now - don't be like the mercenary, don't threaten reader's family. Avengers being good.. bros? Good found family idk. More smut + plot coming soon.

The silence hung awkwardly over us. Stephen wasn't the one to wax poetics, usually, and I wasn't in the mood to do anything but curl up somewhere warm, chug a bottle of liquor and fall asleep. Sleep is like death without the committment and after my little outburst, I inwardly prayed and begged for the ground to open up and swallow me whole. Instead, I was directed to sit and drink my tea by the sorcerer, who, by the way, was beginning to look like a kicked puppy.

It was starting to become unbearable. "I'm listening," I finally croaked out, shocked at how raspy my voice sounded. As if someone had forced me to choke on some nails - and I felt like it, too. My hands were shaking, all but spilling the hot tea onto them.

"Princess..." His mouth did the thing when he was worried, lips pursed, their corners upturned. "What we did was not... Right, you were drugged without your consent. I am sure Tony feels the same way."

My eyebrows rose, words bubbling up to the surface as I fought the urge to simply start calling Stephen some strong names. Had he been blind the whole time I flirted with him, had he not seen both me and Tony ogling him when we thought nobody could see? Every time I joked about the sexual tension between them - you know what they say, every joke has a little bit of truth in it.

Or maybe the sorcerer had used the incident as a convenient excuse for our little fuck-fest to be a one-time thing? I expected more, I won't lie, but I wouldn't put it above him. I knew all too well that some men tended to simply... Avoid.

I was angry, probably rightfully so, but it was not the time for me to comfort an adult man. My own life was going to shit, I had no mental energy to unburden his baseless guilt. It was selfish and it made me feel even more like shit, but it was as if someone had flipped a switch inside of me. I just didn't care about someone's heartbreak. I needed to solve another problem, a much bigger than a man that couldn't make up his mind.

I had to find that damn mercenary. It was the only real threat hanging over our heads; unlike any mission that I've seen the team go on before, they had thrown all the forces into catching the man that had gotten into their safe space, their home. That threatened to take what they thought as theirs. Long gone were the days of comfortable domesticity.

"Okay," I replied, nodding curtly. "I wanted it, if it helps any. I thought you were attractive the first day I saw you." I spoke bluntly, beginning to feel like myself more and more with each word that I spoke. "And again, no strings have to be attached. I'm sure Tony will understand it too, it's not his first rodeo."

Stephen's head shot up from where he was examining his clasped hands, to study me with furrowed brows. Cloaky moved where it was wrapped around me, attracting the sorcerer's attention - I, unfortunately, did not understand the Cloak's sign language and what it told Stephen remained a mystery to me. I was just delighted to be out of the cold and and wet clothes.

"I think you misunderstood me," Stephen eyed me with surprise. "I want more, but..." He trailed off, unsure. "I don't know. I'm surprised Banner hasn't gone green on me yet. I'm a doctor, I should have known..."

So, he was pulling a me and wallowing in pity. Is this really how pathetic I looked when I used to mope around the house earlier? No wonder my mother thinks I'm a baby. "Stephen, I'm really not in the mood to listen to bullshit. I wanted it, you wanted it, great, we can move on. Because with everything that has happened to me, I really have no energy to convince you I like you even while sober when you're sabotaging yourself." Sure, I might have ripped off the motivational speech from a self-help book my mother used to have laying around. My patience was wearing thinner with each second. "There, I said it. I like you, my boyfriends like you, you're welcome to the club if you decide to believe the fact that I am telling the truth." And if he wouldn't, well, I could get over it. I was planning to never act upon my feelings for both Tony and Bruce, it hadn't been as hard as I thought it would be. Especially with me being busy enough to just ignore the feelings.

At some point, I had grown attached to Stephen. Perhaps, if I and Tony hadn't decided to mess around with the sorcerer at the party, my feelings wouldn't have bloomed into anything more than physical attraction. Murphy's law had a particularly strong affinity on me, I noticed, because over and over I found myself falling head over heels for emotionally unavailable men. It worked out with Tony, which wasn't as surprising as one might expect, considering we're two halves of a whole idiot, but then Bruce also decided to pucker up - Stephen was bound to be the rock that I trip on.

Or not? Soft lips pressed against my forehead, beard hair softly tickling the tip of my nose. I was pressed against a solid chest, surrounded by warmth and comfort. "I'm sorry, I'm an idiot," Steph whispered, voice quivering.

"Well, it's not like this... Relationship... I've got going on is something commonplace," My arms wrapped around him, a deep sigh relaxing my body into his. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. It wasn't right."

Stephen chuckled, all but pulling me bodily into his lap. "Don't worry, Princess. I deserved it." As he spoke, the Cloak carefully unwrapped itself from me, drifting away with a parting pat on my back. "Now what happened with your parents?" Large palms pushed the hair out of my face, stormy blue eyes looking at me with worry.

"I should probably assemble all my significant others for this conversation," There was little enthusiasm in discussing the incident. I was an adult and had enough money to get by for a few months, at least until I could patent one of my inventions. I had plenty of knick-knacks that should be able to interest buyers, that much I knew, and while the legal side of the process was a blank slate to me, I knew I could be charismatic enough to have someone work it out for me.

"I don't think I'll be able to take Steve seriously when he says 'assemble', now," My third boyfriend chuckled, which - wow, I didn't have boyfriends and now I had three? Should I be considering opening a factory or something? Stephen adjusted his hold on me. "Let's go, I'll portal us in."

"My car's out there with all my stuff. I'll have to drive," I protested but made no move to get out of his lap.

"Tony is a billionaire, he can pay someone to retrieve it," Shrugging carelessly, he produced a golden circle of magic, the common room couch in plain sight at the other side of it. I heard voices and then Clint's head peaked through, a curiously tilted eyebrow morphing into full fledged face of confusion upon seeing the two of us.

Yikes. I had forgotten about the state of my dress and the bruise on my cheek. "Hey, bird. I need a drink," I said the first thing that popped into my mind, causing both Clint and Steph to laugh as the sorcerer carried me into the tower through the portal.

"I'm starting to think you go out there and look for trouble on purpose," The archer sighed, pulling out his phone and texting rapidly. Mine vibrated, too, once he was done, which meant he'd called for a family meeting. Blergh.

In no time, Tony appeared, dark circles under his eyes and yesterday's shirt on, towing a worried Bruce behind him. One after the other, the Avengers tickled in, looking restless and exhausted. Loki's frown was well on its way to becoming a full sneer.

"Talk, please," He requested, eyeing me with concern.

"Good news is I got our rogue wizard back," I poked Stephen in the chest. He was blushing. "Bad news is my mother threw me out and my father didn't pick up the phone, so technically I'm homeless and parent-less," I decided that spitting out straight facts was the easiest way to go about it. I mean, there was no good way to tell what I just told them.

The storm that I anticipated didn't appear. Just a lot of disappointed sighs all around, especially from Tony, who looked twenty years older after I'd confessed to the current state of my affairs. "You're not homeless, you live here," He pointed out, rubbing his face and muttering some very strong words under his nose. Particularly, the expressions involved my mother and various methods of fornication.

"We got your back, doll," Bucky nodded, coming over to wrap me in a gentle hug. He was like a brother from another mother to me at this point, kind and goofy and sensible. "I would propose to teaching that harpy a lesson but I think she's beyond it."

"Perhaps it's for the best," Loki mused suddenly. "If I recall correctly, your mother was against your career of choice, which is idiotic. Science is a noble and prospective path." The Asgardian, too, gave me a hug.

I wasn't crying! There were ninjas, in the vents, cutting onions! "Stop it guys, I'm gonna cry. I already look like shit!" The protest was silenced by Bruce's lips on mine, his tiny smile briefly covering my mouth with tenderness. After that, everybody somehow decided it was their job to try and make me cry; like a bad bitch, I resisted, but eventually broke and started sniffling when Tony began rambling about building me my own lab and Wanda offered to help me decorate my new apartment.

No matter how much my mind screamed at me to refuse, I forced that noise down. Fighting against myself, accepting help despite feeling unworthy of it - it was probably the hardest thing I've done in my whole life.

Bruce volunteered to carry my prone body to Tony's bedroom which was quickly becoming the master bedroom for the three of us - ever since the incident, both of my scientists stuck close to me whenever possible, aggressively cuddling me whenever they decided it was time to get some sleep. Which wasn't much these days, if I was being honest. Persuading Bruce to stay with me was a novelty - usually he didn't resist, but that time, I had to repeat myself multiple times that the team could handle business even without him being present.

I had my ulterior motives, of course. Tony and Stephen needed to talk. I only hoped their egos wouldn't clash without me to mediate - having two boyfriends start a fight wasn't something I wanted to experience. I had zero experience in those matters and had no idea how to manage all that. Are there handbooks for polyamorous relationships? I stuck a mental post-it note inside my brain to check it out.

I fell asleep with Bruce wrapped around me and woke up in the same position, having been too exhausted to move even in my sleep. Voices, rough and quiet, were the first thing I heard upon syncing my brain into a resemblance of a working order, instantly recognizing Stephen's deep baritone and Tony's teasing drawl.

"Expect either Reindeer Games or Kim Possible to come and terrify you," My engineer didn't sound particularly ecstatic. His voice came from somewhere around my feet; the hand wrapped around my ankle, thumb gently stroking the skin, must've been his.

"Duly noted," Stephen's reply was equally sarcastic, sounding a little closer. The warmth coming from my side was him. I could smell the faint spices that surrounded him, smell that I'd come to associate with the Sanctum.

Bruce snored away, not a care in the world.

My body, on the other hand, felt rested for what felt the first time in years. A pleasant ache in my muscles had me begrudgingly squirm out of Banner'd grasp, shamelessly pushing up into Stephen as I stretched with a juicy yawn. "What's poppin'?" I rubbed my eyes, finding the men awake looking at me with fond amusement.

"Just watching," Tony smiled, causing me to giggle at his accidental meme-ing. Was it even accidental? I refused to believe that a man well versed in IT was oblivious to meme culture.

Stephen, on the other hand... "We've discussed some things, wanted to talk to you too." His hand stroked my hair, face expression soft unlike anything I'd ever seen him have. "But you were sleeping. So cute."

Me, cute? There was a puddle of drool the size of a dollar bill on my pillow, I was pretty sure some of it had even gotten in Bruce's hair. Banner's sleep was quiet except for every five minutes when he'd let out a snore with a force somewhere between a Mack truck and a whale in mating season.

Cute, sure.

Bruce groaned, a tell-tale sign of him waking up. I met his eyes, brown, shiny, a narrow edge of green around his irises. Huh. Do I have three boyfriends or four?

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​@sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95 @gladiosamicitias

[spicymayo1983]

Hiya. This is an existential crisis themed smut fest that I came up with because my insomnia hit me hard again. Lol.

You are an X wing pilot whose twin sister has recently given birth to her first child.

Instead of feeling happy for her you just feel empty inside.

You've always wanted a family of your own but your childbearing years are coming to an end. You are single, sad and frustrated.

As you compile a mental list of male friends and colleagues who could potentially help you conceive a child and possibly co-parent together one name springs to mind.

Poe Dameron.

Warnings, breeding kink stuff, unprotected sex, female receiving oral sex, just plenty of gratuitous, raw sex. Lmao.

Seed Part 1

You can't sleep. You find yourself wide awake at 3 AM having an existential crisis.

Your married identical twin sister (any name) has recently given birth to her first child.

You feel guilty and ashamed because instead of feeling joyful for her instead you feel empty and numb.

You don't feel happy or sad. You feel absolutely nothing except for a slight twinge of envy.

You are an X wing pilot for the rebellion and have been since your late teens. You have survived being shot down, being captured and torture at the hands of the first order.

During your adventures you always tried to find time for romance. Being a bleeding heart romantic you always dreamed of returning to your home planet, Yavin 4, with your husband to put down roots and start a family.

But fate had other plans. After a number of disastrous relationships you find yourself approaching 40 and single.

Even in the future your fertility is on the decline and not much can be done to help. You desperately ache to experience being pregnant and the joy of motherhood. You chart your ovulation religiously hoping that someday you might find someone who could help you out.

Every month this happens. You feel the familiar twinge in your uterus and then the depression hits you like a tsunami.

After spending about an hour rolling around in bed you decide to stop fighting it and sit up.

You stare blankly at the wall of your bedroom. And then all of a sudden the tears start.

Your sobbing must have been fairly loud because you are soon interrupted by a soft knock at your door.

You get up and open it, it's your old friend and fellow pilot Poe Dameron.

"Poe, what are you doing here?" You ask as you rub your bloodshot eyes.

"I was walking by when I heard you crying". Poe replies, smiling softly. "I was just leaving...."

"Someone's quarters". You tease, smiling a little. "I've known you most of your life, I know how you like to have a good time."

The two of you grew up together on Yavin 4 but lost contact when he ran off to join the spice runners. Poe has always seen you as a sister, your relationship strictly platonic.

Your paths crossed when you both became pilots at roughly the same age. Your friendship resumed without skipping a beat. In your early 20's the two of you experimented with and kicked around the idea of being more than friends but the two of you decided not to pursue a romantic relationship.

Your relationship is as close as you can be without being married.

You've been intimate with him on several occasions.

The smoothness of his skin, his absolutely perfect body and cock are still fresh in your memory even though it's been years.

"You've been crying again". Poe says with a deep sigh, his smile fading. "Tell me what's wrong".

"It's nothing, really, you wouldn't want to hear it". You reply, sitting down at a small table in your kitchen.

"You're ovulating, aren't you?" Poe replies quickly as gets behind you, leans down and wraps his strong arms around you in an extremely intimate bear hug.

"You always get like this when you're fertile".

"Time's running out and I haven't met anyone". You reply, fighting back tears. "I never imagined I'd be here, at this stage in my life, nearly 40 with no children".

"This might sound crass, or perverted, or both". Poe tells you as he leans down to nuzzle your neck a little.

"But I think I could help you, I could put a baby inside of you if you wanted".

"You've been drinking". You snap back with a nervous laugh. "I'm depressed and your drunk, yeah, this is getting weird".

Poe immediately pulls away, respecting your wishes.

"I said it was getting weird, but I didn't tell you to stop". You reply with a slight smile.

"So do you want me to help you with your situation?" He asks, gently massaging your shoulders.

"Shouldn't there be a little romance?" You tell him with an awkward laugh. "I don't want this to be mechanical, I want it to be a little special".

Poe leans in and kisses you passionately, taking you by surprise a little. With lust burning in his dark eyes he whispers in your ear,

"Of course not, I planned on warming you up a little".

You both decide to start off with a nice shower together.

He begins by lathering up your breasts, and then his hands trail down further.

You can see that Poe is already physically aroused, his strong hands are all over your body, exploring every inch of your soft curves and gently caressing you.

You begin to soap up his thick cock, you can feel him getting harder and harder, you sigh a little as you crave Poe inside of your throbbing pussy.

"I'm going crazy right now". Poe pants, unable to hide his desire. "Let's wrap this up and head to the bedroom".

Both of you quickly towel off and head for your bed, your entire body is warm and tingling from desire.

The two of you hold each other and enjoy a steamy makeout session, Poe slides two fingers inside of you, you are wet, swollen and sensitive, you shudder in delight.

"Mmmmm I want to taste you". Poe whispers into your ear.

His head quickly slides between your legs, you moan and thrash around in delight as he sucks on your swollen clit.

You cum for him, several times, before you wrap your legs around his waist and Poe slides his thick cock inside of you.

This isn't the first time you've hooked up with him. You were once friends with benefits years earlier. But you both decided to end things.

This felt different, though. Like Poe was trying to impregnate you. Which makes you wonder his own secret desires and motivation. Why would a notorious playboy like him be off of his birth control? Were your yearnings and desires his as well?

Poe cums deep inside of you with his head resting on your shoulder. His soft, curly hair in a dissaray. Afterwards you stay relaxed on your back, careful not to move around and lose even a drop of his precious seed.

"I wonder if it worked?" Poe asks with a slight smile, gently placing a hand on your lower belly, where your uterus is.

"Why were you so willing to help me out? If you don't mind me asking". You inquire, placing your hand over his.

"You're one of my best friends". Poe tells you softly.

"You're brave, beautiful, tough, one of the best pilots in the resistance besides me. Why wouldn't I want you to carry my child?"

"Oh Poe". You reply, fighting back tears at the beauty and honesty of his words. "What you just said means everything to me, it really does."

[tartagliaxx]

hmm, i wonder if tumblr ate my previous ask. i hope not but honestly, you're probably not missing out on a lot anyways.

i finally gained some inspiration to complete the previous wip i showed you, but now i have another one on my hands bc when i get overly anxious, i start to write some vv specific scenarios with my pretty boys.

like,,, i have 3 hours before my exam starts, and i know basically nothing. remember how i said that i took a short break (if tumblr didn't eat it)? yeah, i'm sort of regretting that decision now. can i even get a C? my head's hurting and spinning, i feel like this isn't rlly uh, good for me. i'm hopefully gonna take a one hour nap and hope whatever happens last time doesn't happen again.

i don't want to fail, i rlly rlly don't. i feel like failing on your finals that you're supposed to enter uni with isn't the uh, best idea. i'm trying to just, stay calm but nothing i'm studying is rlly getting to me. perhaps i should just get some rest,,, a one hour nap lmao

— r. anon

reply to the other ask lol:

you’re right, i think you totally deserve the break. it’s totally fine. in my experience, the people around me told me to take my time when i legitimately couldn’t even pick up a pen to finish my stuff. it’s weird bc that’s the first time it ever happened to me but my profs were very forgiving and told me i should take a break if i need one.

i understand your feelings omg- i’ve lived my life being everyone’s friend but not anyone’s best friend,, i dont mind receiving messages like this and i’d really want to help as much as i could but idk if it’s okay to post online??? skfjfajhaha it seems v personal for me but if you’re fine w it, then i’m find w it as well. if you happen to have discord or smth, we could talk there instead if you want but i’m really fine w whatever.

CHILDE CAME HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my fucking husband so very pog. and omG?????? bae i’m like,, super happy for you??? omg im like so proud rn im tearing up im not even joking lol. no matter who the motivation is, you still managed to go through it and like,, small victories are still victories to be celebrated. again, i’m so proud and happy for you.

take it easy bby… you seem to have a lot on your plate… if you feel in any way, like… tired or what,, just take a break… i figured thats so much better than falling deeper into a pit of sadness. take breaks when you need them and face your problems when you’re properly rested. it’s v worth it. also, no matter what happens… i want to say that you did so well and i see you putting so much effort into things even if you dont feel like it.

childe’s like…. *dreamy sigh* i love him and the way he works. i rotate him w others v often for reactions so i never had the problem with his cooldown. and??? 28k??? already??? pls he was doing 10k on his first day w me so i think that’s really, really good. and ffs???? those wolf things?? i hate! i hate hate hate hate them </3 fuck corrosion messing w my perfectionist self not wanting to see anything less than a full hp bar…

ON WISHES AND COMFORTS OMG- i remember making that and im like???? how???? how to write venti???? that’s my first time writing for him i think?

//

i didnt go on tumblr for like,, majority of yesterday so i only saw your asks now. i was acc playing genshin bc this is the first time im not behind on schoolwork. i’m making a ghibli themed teapot and so far, the first part’s like 45% done. ….why do i like making myself suffer?

on a side note, I DID SEE YOUR TAG! I’M ATTENDING A LECTURE RN BUT I’LL READ IS AS SOON AS IT’S DONE. IM V EXCITED AND I KNOW YOU DID GREAT! on a different note, i understand how stressful this might be rn but it’ll be alright. if not now, then later. im not sure how to comfort you since i would most likely meltdown if i were you but just remember to breathe. sure, a lot might be on the line but ultimately, one’s self must always be the priority (something i learned from psych btw). good luck on your finals! i’m rooting for you and i’ll support you no matter what!

ps. ily2 <33

[everydaychaotic]

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. "

Charlie x Reader Fic

a/n: i used a writing prompt here because there were some prompts i found on my phone. they're from creative-writing-prompts on tumblr (?) omg enjoy 💕

Word on the street is all about this Charlie Dalton. All the girls in your school can't seem to shut up about him, this guy from Wellton who pulled an infamous stunt in front of everybody.

"Have you heard about what happened at Wellton?"

"God, that Charlie has guts."

"He's single right?"

All this gossip annoyed you. Either they applaud his not-so-daring feat, or they suddenly fancy him. Apparently, this boy has become popular here and you never understood why he would do something so stupid.

You're a real stickler for the rules, future mapped out and planned for, and you always had this thing where everything should be in order. Charles Dalton, that jerk, just disrupted the peace and order you have been accustomed to by turning these girls into boy crazy and lovestruck little girls. His name made your blood boil and it made you lose focus. They never seem to get enough of him, and that's probably because there aren't really a lot of options in boarding school.

Wherever you went, his name would always pop up. Whoever you talked to would ask if you knew. You would roll your eyes and tell them they're wasting time on someone who isn't even worth it. This boy was getting into your nerves, and (rumor has it) another girl's knickers.

There came a time you just couldn't take it anymore. Even your best friend was talking about him with a mix of amusement and disappointment. She thought this boy had potential but wasted it on a foolish prank. Both of you shared the same sentiments, although your friend was obviously intrigued.

You had a lot of homework to do, and with everything that was going on, you decided you didn't have time for this. You sigh loudly and throw a pillow at your friend, exasperated. "Hey!" she said as the pillow hit her face. "What was that for?"

You turned to her, annoyed and stressed from all the homework and drama. Your roommate raises an eyebrow, waiting for an answer. "I'm getting tired of this— this boy!" you tell her and she stifles a laugh.

It wasn't funny, and then she replied, "Who knew that the great y/n would lose focus over a boy?" You ignored her and went back to your homework. There was still so much to do with calculus, and you haven't checked on your science project yet. Your French essay is due tomorrow and it isn't near perfect. You didn't let the idea of Charlie Dalton get to you.

Days went by and the chatter started to lessen. You smiled to yourself, everything was slowly going back to normal. Your focus was back, and nothing else seemed to interrupt it. Right now, everything is perfect for you. Back on the right track to be one of the country's most esteemed lawyers.

Everything was almost back to normal, you hardly even thought about him, and no one

had any more stories to tell about the infamous little pick who caught St. Agnes' by storm. One fateful day, he was once again the talk of the town. Rumour has it, he went out with one of the girls from her class. People kept on talking, asking this girl to tell him about Charlie. All of them would pile around her, and ask if he was what they dreamed he would be like.

You thought it was all rubbish. Charles Dalton? You bet he got under her skirt. Your classmate's story about him being the perfect gentleman was too good to be true. There's no such thing as a gentleman, and you believed Charlie was far from that. People see what they want to see, and you thought this girl just let heard what he wanted her to hear. Quite stupid, you thought.

One day as you were walking around the courtyard, book in hand, you caught sight of him. The infamous Charlie Dalton, in the flesh. You couldn't deny he was handsome. There was an air of arrogance around him, and a hint of brilliance to which you were so. curious about. He was with a different girl, and he gave a smirk you knew all too well that he was up to no good. He dropped her off at the dorms, and you shook your head in disappointment. You saw this coming, but in the back of your mind you always hoped it wasn't true.

He passed by you, and smiled. His brown hair all messed up, with eyes that always twinkled with mischief and chaos. "Hi," he said to you. You gripped your book tighter and ignored him, walking away. Charlie always liked girls who played hard to get. He found the chase to be rewarding. He turned around, "I didn't catch your name."

You muttered something, and continued to walk towards the dorms. There were footsteps following you, and you tried your best to ignore him as he tried to get your attention. "Did you just say your name? I didn't get it the first time." He caught up to you and went ahead. There he was, facing you: Charlie Dalton of Wellton Academy.

You decided to be blunt and said, "I didn't, and no, I'm not telling you." You sighed, "I was asking you to leave me alone." He wasn't taken aback by this comment, after all, it was part of the chase, and Charlie enjoyed every second of it.

"If you say so," he said sarcastically. He is so infuriating, you thought. You looked him in the eyes and you were inwardly fazed by how beautiful he really was up close. You always hid your emotions well, and you certainly didn't want to break that wall in front of this jerk.

"Did I stutter?" you replied coldly. You took a deep breath and once again told him to leave you alone. He chuckled and told you, mocking defeat, "Whatever you say, sweetheart." He waved at you and went on his way. Charlie was amazed, and decided he was gonna try harder than usual. That meant he absolutely had to, because most of the time they just came onto him.

You thought about this encounter for a considerable amount of time, and sometimes wondered if you were to see him again. You were working on your english homework until someone on the phone asked for you. You hate being interrupted, and it annoyed you to drop whatever you've been doing for something so irrelevant. Begrudgingly, you grab the phone and put it to your ear, rolling your eyes. "Hello?"

"Hello to you too, y/n," the sound of his voice made you mad. You tried to keep it together, your friends were watching. You couldn't lose control now, it would guarantee him victory. You whispered, "You're not supposed to call."

"Well sweetheart I did, now y/n, tell me, what are you doing Saturday night?" You ignored the question and said, "How did you get my name you jerk?" You heard people laughing from the other line, who were teasing Charlie. "I asked for a pretty girl and they led me to you," he slurred. For a moment, you felt flattered, but mostly embarrassed. That was officially the worst line you have ever heard.

"Shut up. Now if you don't have anything important to say, I'm hanging up now." You put down the phone and went back to your schoolwork. You can't afford to have any more distractions, especially a Dalton-shaped distraction.

Almost every night, he would call, and like always you would give the phone back, telling everyone you absolutely had no time for this. This boy was persistent. You tried your best not to lose your temper in front of your friends and classmates. That rarely happened. You're y/n, and he isn't your Waterloo.

The day you've been waiting for came. Charlie stopped calling. You thought he got bored and latched himself onto another pretty thing. You were a bit hurt, to know he was exactly what you thought he was but it worked best that way, and you were starting to feel normal again. He wasn't the talk of the town anymore, and that alone gave you the motivation to do everything on your to-do list.

You went out to the courtyard for a stroll and brought your favorite book along. Your eyes widened when you saw him. Messy brown hair with everything undone. There he was again, and he looked like he was waiting. You continued to walk towards your favorite spot in the courtyard, made yourselg comfortable and started to read. "Hey y/n," Charlie said. At that moment, you wanted your soul to leave your body. You closed your book and looked up, "To what do I owe this unwanted encounter?" There was sarcasm dripping in your voice and Charlie raised an eyebrow in amusement. He ignored your comment and asked, "What are you doing tomorrow night?"

You didn't answer. He sat down next to you and looked at what you were reading. "Shakespeare, huh? You've got good taste," he commented. You smiled a little, and felt better that this boy, even for a moment, stopped pestering you. You were a bit glad you at least had something in common, and relieved he wasn't just a prick. He was a brilliant prick who knew his stuff, and you were somehow attracted by this.

You just sat there in silence for the whole afternoon. You were immersed in your book, and all Charlie did was stare at you. The silence was endearing, and you stopped only to find him sleeping. You swore he became more attractive. This boy is beautiful, and when it hit you, you started to think about everything you worked for only to be disrupted by him. You pat his arm gently, trying to wake him up. It was getting late and you had to catch up on your study group tonight.

He blinked a few times and stood up, offering you his hand. You took it and he smiled, looking away. He earned it, you thought. "My friend Neil's performing tomorrow at Henley Hall, and since you love Shakespeare so much, bet you'd try to take a look at it," he said finally.

Shakespeare was your favorite poet, and it's been so long since you've watched a Shakespearean play. It was a hard offer to consider. If you accepted, you would be going with him, and that would make it seem like a date. "I guess you can call it a date," he drawled.

You pondered over it as he walked you back to the dorms. Annoying as he was, he knew how to get a girl's attention, and you were no exception. You didn't answer him, and told him how you were running late instead. You felt his hand on your shoulder, turned you around, and once again there you were: face to face with Charlie Dalton. This time, you couldn't help but feel flustered, and it was evident. He smirked a little bit, and that alone shifted your mood. One moment he was charming, the next one a jerk. You moved away and muttered a curse under your breath. "Come on, I saw that, y/n," he pointed out. "Admit it, you like me."

Once again he was this conceited bastard. You didn't know which was more annoying: his behavior or the fact you were attracted to this boy. You pursed your lips and tried not to lose your temper. Charlie just stood there, waiting.

"Silence means yes, you know," he smiled. You rolled your eyes, and started to lose the cool façade you had going on. "You know what, Dalton? Do whatever you want."

"You're insufferable, and I can't believe I spent an afternoon with you! You're a jerk, and you're too conceited for your own good," you said with so much frustration. "I'm not someone you just plan to fool around with, and I'm sure there's another girl waiting for you to sweep her off her feet. And just so it's clear, I'm not that girl, and I don't want to be that girl." Charlie just stood there, listening.

"You know it's a shame. You've wasted so much time and energy on me, and it's endearing and flattering, and I'll admit you're quite attractive, but you're so goddamn infuriating! And guess what? I could kiss you right now." You ran your hands through your hair, frustration and annoyance rushing through you. His eyes widened as he heard the last thing you said. You realized it was too late, and it's undeniable. Charlie Dalton was so damn attractive and you can't believe it worked on you.

He put his hands in his pockets, and smiled at his feet. You were a blushing mess, and his smile wasn't helping at all. He pulled you in and finally replied, "You're very welcome to do it."

[somebodytolove31]

CW: implication of substance abuse, mentions of alcohol

Hero was simply sitting on his couch, with a gin & tonic in one hand and the remote controller in another. He mindlessly scrolled through every channel on the television, trying to find something to watch, anything. He had forgotten how mind-numbing his days off were, with no family to spend them with, what was he supposed to do other than drink and watch TV?

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts, he got off the couch and went to see who was on the other side.

A quick look through the peep-hole made him realize it was Villain, in their villain outfit and all, what the hell were they doing here?

Hero opened the door, not really caring about what evil plan Villain had made this time, he was simply going to tell them to not bother him on his day off. But before the words could leave his mouth, the Villain gave him a bouquet of roses.

Hero stared dead-eyed at the gift thrust clumsily against his chest.

“Did you get stood up?” the words hung in the air flat and unfeeling, as strong a declaration as any that Villain was in way too far over their head.

“They’re…for you,” Villain fumbled. “I-I bought them for you.”

Hero blinked slowly, but finally took the flowers by their tightly bound stems, treating them gently, as if they were a bomb likely to explode.

“You think I have ulterior motives?” Villain said.

A shrug.

“Good things don’t usually happen to me.”

Villain was about to question what that meant, but Hero interrupted.

"So what is this? A declaration of love?"

Villain's face turned red, avoiding Hero's eyes in fear of getting lost in them.

"Yes... yes it is"

"Took you long enough" he chuckled, opening the door for them, "come in, if someone walks by they will recognize you"

They went in without hesitation, starting to look around, Villain expected an apartment with tacky decoration and furniture worth more than they would ever make in a lifetime, but instead the place was bland, no decorations and no overly priced couches, rather cheap and old ones instead.

Hero went to the kitchen, which was not far away considering the size of the place, and came back with a folding chair, setting it up in front of the couch.

"You drink?" Hero asked.

"Not really"

"More for me then" he grabbed the drink he had left on the table, and downed it in two gulps, sitting down on the chair and signaling Villain to sit at the couch.

"What did you mean with 'took you long enough'?" they asked, finally facing Hero, "did you already know?"

"Darling, your body language betrays you, even when wearing a mask I could tell how you were looking at me" he chuckled.

"Oh"

"The question now is why"

Both stayed quiet for a second.

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you think you love me?"

Hero's glance was impossible to ignore, it seemed angry, yet curious and penetrating, even when looking away, Villain could feel it, almost as if the hero had laser eyes and were burning their face.

"Well... you're strong, and smart" Villain started turning red again, playing with their own hair "you're sarcastic, but not in a mean way, rather a funny one, you actually take my plans seriously, you-"

Before they could finish, Hero stopped them by simply shaking his head.

"You don't know anything about me" he spoke, his voice sounded almost disappointed.

Villain didn't reply, they were confused, and guilty, they felt as if they had caused his sudden melancholy, a side of Hero they had never seen before.

They used their own plans as a creative outlet, a way to express themselves in a way, as chaotic as they wished to be. They were always genuine, and never thought of the fact that maybe Hero was not allowed to do that.

"You don't know about my life, or my bad habits, or how I act behind closed doors"

"Well I want to know" they finally looked at him in the eye, "I want to get to know you, spend time with you, all that stuff couples do"

"And what if you don't like what you see?" Hero was about to leave to serve himself a drink again.

"It's better than never trying"

For the first time in the whole conversation, it was Hero who turned red. He let out a sigh.

"You know what? Let's try it"

Prompt 146

The hero stared dead-eyed at the bouquet of roses thrust clumsily against their chest.

“Did you get stood up?”

The words hung in the air flat and unfeeling, as strong a declaration as any that Villain was in way too far over their head.

“They’re…for you,” Villain fumbled. “I-I bought them for you.”

Hero blinked slowly but finally took the flowers by their tightly bound stems, treating them gently, as if they were a bomb likely to explode.

“You think I have ulterior motives?” Villain said.

A shrug.

“Good things don’t happen to me.”

[a-january-girl]

Hi, I don't know if you take any prompts, but I have, so,imagine, Scully never gives Will up, three of them lives together and one day William( still kid) tell them that he wishes he had a little brother or sister. Can you write something how M/S handle this situation and Scully really wants another baby. Nothing angst( maybe a little bit), just fluffy fluff. Thank you!

Anon, let me thank you dearly for this prompt, and also apologize from the bottom of my heart to have kept you waiting so long to answer it. Thank you @alldolleduppink for the being the best friend/beta/motivation in the world, and also thank you @therobbinsnest for your kind words and never ending support, I love you both 😘As requested, nothing too angsty, but a major MSR fluffy fluff fic! 🎉❤️

NEVER GIVE UP ON A MIRACLE

Mulder ties up the small black Converse sneaker, making the laces form into bunny ears before they turn into a knot. William offers his other foot so he could do the same to that one. The question comes out of the blue, dripping out from his small lips with genuine interest.

“Daddy, does mommy have a baby in her tummy?”

Mulder lifts up his head to look into his son’s eyes. Scully had just excused herself from Will’s room — he can hear water running in the bathroom — and he doesn’t know if he should be sad or relieved that she isn’t here to hear their son’s question.

“No, she doesn’t, why do you ask?”

“My friend Billy’s mom has got a baby in her tummy,” he simply states, but his eyes stay inquiring.

“Does she?” Mulder answers to see if he’ll continue his explanation.

“Yeah, she’s got a big tummy and all,” Will says, rubbing his own stomach to emphasize his words, which makes Mulder chuckle. He retrieves his feet from his father’s grasp and looks up as Mulder comes back to a standing position.

“How come Billy’s mom has a baby in her tummy, daddy?” he asks as his father runs his thumb over the ridge of the coffee mug Scully just abandoned on the bureau of their son’s bedroom before rushing out. With a sigh, he grabs a comb to discipline the short red hair Will has inherited from his mother.

Somehow, Mulder knows he’s in for one of those conversations where his 3 year-old will soon relentlessly ask a question on top of another. He loves how curious and intelligent William is. Whenever these avalanches of questions happen, he can’t help but think about Samantha at the same age, perpetually asking her big brother to explain the world around them. She had looked up to him as if he was the smartest person on earth when he was really only four years older than her.

“Well, I guess Billy’s parents love each other very much and wanted to give him a brother or a sister,” he tries to stay simple for him to understand. Of course, he will, he thinks, he’s so bright for his age.

“A brother…” Will ponders, as if weighing out the word carefully. After five seconds of intense thinking, he exclaims “Mommy has got two brothers!”

“Yes, she does,” Mulder answers. He can hear Scully fumble in the bathroom at the end of the corridor, water splashing and cabinets opening and closing.

“You love mommy, right daddy?” Will asks, his little brows furrowed.

“Of course I do! I love her very much,” Mulder answers with a tender smile.

“Then why doesn’t she have a baby in her tummy too?”

The question is simple, and yet the answer is extremely complicated. Mulder’s heart aches for his son and his honest but heartbreaking request. At his age, he's too young to understand that he’ll remain an only child, let alone why. So he decides to answer with another question instead.

“Tell me, buddy, would you like to have a baby brother or a baby sister?”

“A brother, maybe,” he concedes very seriously. “Not a sister, though!” he adds with a disgusted expression and a wrinkled nose, as if the idea itself was as terrible as the plate of broccoli he was served the night before.

Mulder laughs out loud at his son’s honest reaction, and takes him in his arms for a quick hug.

“Well, buddy, it’s pretty unlikely anyway.”

Will is already escaping his father’s grasp and turning his attention to the train set snaking around on his bedroom floor. He likes to use every minute he has before getting dropped off at preschool.

“But we should never give up on a miracle...” Mulder whispers to himself.

As he stuffs the ET toy next to the Buzz Lightyear lunchbox in the small backpack, Mulder spins around to finish gathering Will’s things and catches sight of Scully leaning on the door frame. She looks small, and he notices her paleness and exhaustion. He will have to gently suggest that she consider taking time off or decreasing her workload but he knows that will not be an easy feat. She had agreed on teaching more hours at the Academy this year than she had after Will’s birth, and it looked like it was getting to her. As if accessing his thoughts, she flashes him a reassuring smile, and he wonders how long she’s been here listening to their conversation and if she’s heard the thought he’s just spoken out loud.

“You okay?” he asks, approaching her and placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“I’m fine,” she automatically replies, even though she knows the expression makes him cringe. “I’m just tired that’s all. Actually, I’m supposed to have a class to teach this morning, and another this afternoon, but I think I’m gonna call in sick… Would you mind driving Will to preschool without me?”

She never calls in sick, Mulder considers thoughtfully. His hand automatically shifts to her forehead. She doesn’t seem to have a fever, but she does look exhausted.

“Are you sure you’re okay? I mean, I will drive Will, no problem, but is there anything else you want me to do for you? Do you need me to pick something up from the pharmacy?” he asks, inwardly relieved that she’s finally willing to take an opportunity to relax.

“No that’s okay, don’t worry,” she raises on tiptoes to kiss him on the nose. “I’ll just make that phone call and take a hot bath while you’re out.”

She exits the room with a drowsy smile, leaving her husband and his questions unanswered.

On any other morning, the three of them would have made their way to Lincoln Elementary together. Mulder would have then dropped Scully off at Quantico. Given her a soft kiss goodbye on the lips. Got some coffee before driving himself to work. Since they’d left the X-Files, he’s been working as a chartered psychologist in town, while still occasionally consulting for VCU and teaching profiling at the Academy once in awhile.

But this morning, looking at the empty seat beside his as he drives to drop William off, he can’t help but let his mind wander over Scully’s health.

Anxiety starts to settle in. For the past two weeks she’s been looking frail and she seems to have lost her abiding energy. She hasn’t been able to go for the occasional jog nor stay awake past 9.30. He also noticed her loss of appetite and he suspects she’s lost a couple of pounds too.

He can’t figure out if her staying home today when she was supposed to give one of the lectures she’s so passionate about should be alarming or not. She would never play hooky without a good reason, so she must really feel unwell to stay home.

Sure, she’s not been at her best lately, but he refuses to let darker thoughts flood his mind. The cancer has been in remission but it’s always a concern. He’s been down that road and doesn’t want to go back. Besides, she wouldn’t keep anything important to herself. They’re done eluding problems and truths with the excuse to protect each other. That’s what she insisted on herself when she agreed to become his wife. Nevertheless, he silently vows to convince her to let another doctor examine her just in case she would have missed something.

Slowly, as he pulls up to the school, a glance in the rearview mirror lets Mulder see Will’s genuine enthusiasm.

“Daddy, daddy, see! Billy’s mom and her big bump!” he points at a tall blonde woman with a yellow coat, walking with an equally blonde toddler by her side. She, indeed, looks like she’s about to burst any second now. “See? She looks like Big Bird!” Will chuckles, and Mulder laughs with him before bringing the car to a stop by the sidewalk.  

As soon as Will’s in good care in the hands of his preschool teacher, Mulder mechanically drives back home, silently rehearsing lines to try to convince Scully to let him drive her to see a doctor. He’s got the morning free and makes it his mission to talk her into the idea.

When he finally opens the front door, the distinct rattle of dishes being moved around in the sink indicates she’s in the kitchen. He drops his keys on the hallway console.

“I’m back!” he announces.

When he enters the kitchen and walk towards her, she turns the tap off and wipes her hands on the dishcloth before turning to face him. She’s wearing her comfy fleece robe, the one she reserves for lazy Sunday mornings around the house. Her hair is still wet from the bath she just took and she smells like lavender.

Mulder wraps his arms around her waist and buries his nose at the nape of her neck and breathes her in. God, she’s intoxicating. Her hands join his on her hips and she intertwines their fingers together.

“Are you feeling any better, Scully?” he asks. “You look so pale…”. He doesn’t mind that his concern is so obvious, his voice sounding uneasy.

“Mulder, I’m just tired,” she answers, and he tries to read her eyes. The blue depths of her gaze look brighter than usual, almost feverish, and he brings his hand to her forehead once again. Nope, definitely no fever, he thinks.

“I just,” she hesitates, trying to find her words, and Mulder’s heart skips a beat — please don’t let her announce some bad news, please… — “I um, heard the end of your conversation with Will earlier.”

Oh. That’s it then. He goes rigid and stands upright in front of her, trying to decipher her feelings. He can only imagine how such a conversation might make her feel. They both would have loved to have another child after Will, but despite their efforts, nothing has come along. They talked about it many times. Yes, it would be a blessing to have another baby, but it was never going to happen. He thought she’d made her peace with the idea, but apparently, hearing Will’s questions had stirred up her emotions, as it had his.

“He’s such a curious and perceptive kid, I guess we were bound to have this conversation sooner than later,” he murmurs in her ear, trying to appease her tension.

“I wonder where he gets that from,” she quips.

His eyes close and he tenderly kisses the soft spot below her ear. He wants his lips to convey how much he loves her, to ease her exhaustion and her frustration. She makes him happy in so many ways, and has been for so many years now.

He never pictured himself as a family man before Scully came along. Everything changed the day he saw her with Emily and envisioned how happy and whole a kid would make her feel. At that moment, he remembers, he’d already been madly in love with her for quite a while. In an instant, he’d secretly hoped he could find a way into both their hearts and be the one to protect them for the rest of their lives. He was as crushed with despair as Scully was when they had lost the little girl. He spent another handful of years loving Scully from afar, trying to protect her chances to become a mother as foolishly as he could. He never hesitated when she asked if he would be her donor for the IVF. He was crushed with despair again as she cried into his arms a few months later, feeling more down than she ever was in her life.

When he came back to her impressively swollen belly after his abduction, the axis his whole world was aligned with shifted. He had turned his life around, making her and Will his top priorities, and leaving his job and his quest for the truth behind for the first time in his life. It was simple. They both had become his new truth. Now that he had it all, he wouldn’t go back. Not for anything in the world. He would die to keep his wife and child happy and away from harm.

“At least he didn’t ask how we actually make babies,” he teases, trying to lighten the mood, and her giggle appeases both their nerves. “I think we have a few more years to get to that question.”

“I love you,” she whispers, and she punctuates her words with a happy grin. The knot in his stomach loosens a bit when he sees her smiling. There is a nervous energy about her that he can’t quite place. Trepidation starts to make its way into his thoughts, again.

Scully’s eyes are watery and glowing with intense brightness. She takes his face into her hands and raises herself on tiptoes to bring her lips to his, kissing him fiercely. He kisses her back passionately. Her tongue grazing his lips, immediately seeking access to his mouth, draws a deep moan from his throat. Her hands slip inside his jacket and her thumbs trace lazy circles on his chest, while his instinctively get lost in her hair.

When the need for air becomes vital, their lips part and Mulder leans his forehead against hers.

“What was that for, Scully?” he pants.

“I told you, I love you Fox Mulder.”

“Ut-oh, use of my full name? What did I do now… or didn’t do,” he jokes and kisses her cheek.

He notices a blush spread across her face.

“You definitely did something,” she states. Her tone is serious and reminiscent of the scientist that would offer rebuttals to his theories.

“What is it Scully?” he asks, his heart rate unable to slow down. She will always keep him guessing.

When she lifts up her face and looks into his eyes, they reflect nothing but pure happiness. She looks pensive and he notices her swallow hard before she finally speaks.

“Never give up on a miracle Mulder.”

At first, disbelief clouds his mind and he can't think straight. But, always offering concrete evidence, she retrieves a white stick from her pocket and places it in his hand.

It has a PLUS sign on it.

His eyes widen, in awe, silently asking confirmation for what he thinks he just understood. When she nods and her eyes well up with tears, his breath becomes short and his chest warms up with the intensity he sees in her eyes. Feeling weak in the knees, he falls at her feet and lays his palm where their baby is growing. He presses his cheek against her stomach and looks up at her as he gently loosens her robe, letting it open slightly. He places an open mouth kiss on her naked belly.

“I love you too, Scully.”

He stands up and kisses her lips, first tenderly, then hungrily again. His hands gently roam over her bare tummy dragging a low groan from her throat.

When his hands travel up and cradle her face, he leans down so that their foreheads meet.

“As incredible as it is, it’s true Mulder,” she says with teary eyes as if she’d sensed his disbelief. “Real coffee makes me queasy again...” she explains, and he’s thrilled he’s finally going to experience all the little details of pregnancy with her this time.

“I’ll buy some decaf. Anything you want, really.” he offers. His face hurts from smiling, but he’s never felt so high on emotions. His own thoughts suddenly make him laugh. “I guess we can expect the ‘where do babies come from?’ talk to happen sooner, after all.”