#dont blame him

[chuuyasmonster]

[bsd spoilers s5]

he's so scared of her its hilarious

[pandemonium-express]

If you drank a regen potion, would it stave off the decay for the duration?

"what is a regen potion?"

[muirneach]

stolarz had enough of the skaters bullshit

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Urgent Call

"I need your phone."

Tim looks up from his laptop. The boy in front of him looks like he's been dragged to Hell a week ago and just made it back: smudges of soot on his face, his not-so-white t-shirt smelling of smoke, and a nasty looking burn on his hand that he somehow doesn't even pay attention to. Tim thinks back to his mental list of 'Rogues currently on the loose', but it's only Ivy and Harley (who don't even count anymore), and Penguin, who is not known for setting things on fire.

"I can call 911 for you, if you want?" He offers, because this is still Gotham. Despite the fact that a slightly scorched guy casually walking into a coffee shop is not something out of the ordinary here, he's not giving his phone to strangers.

The guy grimaces and starts aggressively rummaging through his pockets.

"No, thanks, ACAB and all that, and they won't do shit here anyway," he says, and then pulls a handful of tangled golden jewelry — rings, chains, necklaces with various gems in them — from his pocket and places it on the table in front of Tim. "I need your phone," he repeats.

Tim stares. First, at the gold — these things look antique, and his parents were archeologists, he knows what he's talking about — then, back at the guy. He looks... ordinary, sans the dirt and smell.

But the burn on his hand looks significantly more healed than it did just a minute ago.

Thankfully, Tim has already had his cup of morning coffee. Which means he is thinking very rationally when he does get his phone out of his pocket and hands it to the guy, just to see what he does next.

"Thanks," the guy grins at him, plucking the phone out of Tim's hand and unlocking it. Tim's eyebrows shoot up — there's a password there! — but the stranger is already dialing in a number and pressing the phone to his ear.

It takes less than a second before someone evidently picks up, and the guy starts talking.

"I have less than three minutes before the phone dies, so listen very carefully. Etrigan is fine, Jason is not, Klarion is still being a bitch. Dora won't help anymore, so you're on your own until Sam makes it there with the staff. I'm in Gotham because, apparently, mazes and I don't mix well together, so if you could summon me back, that'd be cool," he says, a look of mild annoyance on his face.

Tim is back to staring at him. He recognizes some of the names, and, well, one could have been an oddity, two a coincidence, but three is a pattern.

"The fuck you mean you can't, I gave you the incantation two months ago!" The guy raises his voice, his foot tapping on the floor in frustration. "Do you think I just go around giving my summons to people for shits and giggles? Like, yeah, have a spell that unleashes a cosmic being of immeasurable power, use it as a bookmark!"

This interaction, despite Tim only hearing one side of it, gets more and more alarming with every word.

But then, the boy suddenly straightens up and stills, his eyes flashing bright, unpleasantly familiar green.

"You what?" He asks, his voice slipping from just angry to quietly enraged hiss, "Sold it to whom?!" But, before he gets an answer, Tim's phone makes a thin, tiny buzzing sound, and the guy takes it off his ear, looking at the screen.

"No, no-no-no," he mutters, shaking it like that would make it work. To no avail, though: the phone screen flashes a few times and goes black. The guy curses. At least Tim thinks it's a curse because he doesn't understand a word, but the stranger's face and intonation are telling.

"Useless fucking moron of a human, I swear I'm going to drown you in cow shit once this is over," he switches to English, dropping the phone on the table right by the small pile of gold, "I'll bargain your pathetic soul from everyone you've ever dealt with and give it to the Observants, and maybe, after a few millenia of endless Council paperwork, I'll have mercy and sell it back to Lucifer and watch him fry you on a skillet."

...Whoever the boy is, Tim absolutely refuses to ever piss him off, okay. That's an impressive threat to even make, not to mention being able to go through with it.

"Do you need help?" He asks cautiously. If he is getting his context clues right, this is something that involves JLD, and maybe John Constantine specifically since Tim doesn't know any other man who is a magic user, sold his soul numerous times, would care about Etrigan's wellbeing, and could invoke this kind of murderous intent.

The boy looks back at him, his eyes back to normal blue.

"Huh? Oh, no, I doubt this can be helped," he waves Tim off and pinches the bridge of his nose, "Sorry about the phone, but, unless you have a way to yeet me across the globe so I end up in London in the next twenty minutes..." he shrugs, smiling in that helpless 'nothing you can do here' way.

Tim picks up his phone. It's dead, wholly and completely, won't even turn on when he tries.

He really, really shouldn't do that. This is definitely none of his business, and very much out of his capabilities and area of expertise.

But he thinks about the zeta-tube in the Cave.

"Actually," he says, and the guy's eyes snap back to him, a bewildered sort of surprise on his face.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

tfa humanformers

[quy-twwo]

size different

[akumamazoku]

birdcage

i do not think 1x would be happy getting sent to the banlands….

they’d just stare like this for the first couple of months

would any of you believe me if i said the funky extra i did took longer than the main drawing…

[starsslut]

Dick’s parents falling to their deaths really led him to making “The Flying Graysons” literal, to ensure it never happens again 😭

Well played Mr Grayson. Well Played.

Look I just find it hilarious that the love of the life of the guy whose parents fell to their deaths… can fly! Like you can’t tell me it hasn’t crossed his mind at ALL that he doesn’t have to worry about losing Kory this way!

[raphaerolo]

I can so clearly imagine him giving a speech to the council but hes just far too pretty for his own good and its distracting everyone

[cowardlykrow]

"NOW BREAK"

this was WAY funnier in my head...

[drulalovescas]

Castiel went from "You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of Hell. I can throw you back in" to wearing a $1 cowboy hat and watching movies about guns and tuberculosis because that made his man happy and I have no choice but to stan

[reds-skull]

Soap "dog-coded" MacTavish my beloved

(This took 5 weeks help)

[natjennie]

when brennan said porter was also the multiclass paladin advisor, zac's "you gotta be fucking kidding me" felt sooo real. I feel like I have rarely seen zac like actually mad. but there was heat on that one.

[mauvemischief]

never forget that Andrew Minyard was probably so convinced that Neil's behavior was something he hallucinated because no one had ever treated him like he was a human being or like he was more than just what he could give. Neil Josten didn't call him a monster to his face or close ranks when things got hard, Neil Josten wrapped the bloodied bedsheet around him and was there when he came out of rehab.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

sentinel cant be a bad person

[oureddie]

eddie taking off with the shared braincell to spare his nostrils 4x12 | treasure hunt

buddie underrated moments part 2/?