#drgn ramblings

[way-to-go-you-funky-little-blue]

love how DE gave us Rell and said that autistic people are still individuals worthy of respect and care who do not need to be fixed and instead should be given tools and support catered to their needs

love how DE gave us Amir and said that AuDHD people can still recognize when others look down on them and can know that there is something different with them and can come to feel like they need to rip out the parts of themself that others don't like just to be accepted

love how DE gave us Kaya and-

[way-to-go-you-funky-little-blue]

part of what got me started (at least in programming) was the autism hyperfocus but the biggest enabler was just an easy and convenient place to start

like if your easiest place to start is fucking around in Lua using computercraft then go wild

because if you feel like you're getting overwhelmed by something going 'okay to get started you have to install these 15 things, change system settings, and okay all these boxes' meanwhile you just want to Start Somewhere, then that might keep you from actually starting, and it's much better to find something that works than it is to keep yourself from ever actually beginning because of analysis paralysis or anxiety avoidance or something

which leads me to: try Python, it's a relatively friendly place to start, there's multiple online tutorial places for it (though i can't vouch for any one in particular), there's generally a lot less having to go around dealing with fuckery to just get it working, and if you want to avoid installing something to start there's Jupyter and Google Colab that let you just do stuff in your web browser (hell i've even used the latter at uni)

beyond language specifics, one of the biggest things of it (at least for me) is admitting to myself that 'hey i have no idea how to do this' and going and asking questions, whether i'm asking That One Friend Who Knows The Things That Work or just a search engine, or checking the documentation, or even something like stack exchange or a discussion forum about the language

there's also having to understand that it doesn't need to be optimized 100%, like, you can make something that maybe could be faster or could use less memory or could be more intuitive, but don't let your fear of not being good at it keep you from doing the thing, because you can optimize a solution that works, but you can't just deliver a nonexistent solution

i get that there's a lot more to it, and the whole "Excellence is not an art, it's a habit. We are what we repeatedly do." really factors into just, knowing how to do stuff, knowing how to do it quickly, but everyone has to start somewhere, and the time's going to pass anyways, just always have to be ready to learn from it and get better

Hi Maia! Do you have any tips for getting started in programing and Computer Science in general? I've wanted to get into the field but just, don't know where to start cause it all feels like a lot vnv

i always struggle answering questions like this cause like i basically got into this stuff just via autism hyperfocus and self learning that way and forcing my way through it like that, but im gonna post this anyways so maybe people in the notes will have better input!!

[thatonesimp-e]

🐓🐛Say one fun fact about yourself then send this to three people you want to know something about to keep the game going!!!🐛🐓

fun fact?

Alright, uh..

The first Fandom I ever actually interacted with online was the DELTARUNE Fandom

But the first actual Fandom I was in (that I didn't interact with online) was the Henry stickmin Fandom.

[adaloreart]

Comm - Zenobox - Navigation Aid

Commissioned by Zenobox, drgn with protogen tech equipment. The navigation voice in this outfit is quite well developed, an ascended AI for reals. --- If you are interested in keeping up with my work and seeing me stream live, I art stream at https://picarto.tv/Adalore and I announce every stream at https://twitter.com/Adalore1 along side general rambling. --- Additionally if you want to support my art in general, my patreon is at https://www.patreon.com/Adalore where I run non-commission based projects and justify their continued operation.

Posted using PostyBirb

[sigmafied]

Just Tricks, No Treats

Ch. 3 - The One With The Boyfriend

Pairing: Osamu Dazai x F!Reader

A/N: i forgot that there was a 10 picture limit ;-; anyways more reasons why dazai is boyfriend material 🥰

- Dazai only watched Romeo and Juliet (the 1996 one with Leonardo DiCaprio) for the ending death scene. He could care less about the "mediocre kissing parts".

- As previously mentioned, Chuuya has helped Dazai 80% of the time with more serious business regarding Y/N (usually when Dazai's drunk). The other 20% of the time Dazai is rambling to Atsushi about all the little details about Y/N (again, when Dazai is drunk).

- Akutagawa had to leave in the middle of the conversation so when he came back and saw that they were talking about dogs, he thought a dog emoji was appropriate since Atsushi has told him to use them more often.

tags: @nameless-shrimp @sky-drgn @confusedinsominiac @cheomain @dazaiaiko @whats-humanity-lol @jacuzziwaters

please reply under this post if you would like to be tagged for the smau!

[gaydelgard]

Hey this is genuinely not an attempt at starting an argument, I am purely just curious, but how can you be bi and aroace at the same time? Like what kind of attraction do you have for multiple genders? (I super get it if you don't want to talk about this, but in that case can you make some sort of post just so I know that you've seen this ask?)

i always expected somebody to ask this honestly. i have a short answer and a long answer

the short answer is:¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that’s a good question and i’ll let you know if i figure it out.

but i also always expected the person asking to be much more of an ass about itso since you were very respectful i will give you the longer more personal (more rambling) answer

ace is something that has always fit me, it’s something i always knew i was as soon as i heard that it existed (in 12th grade. before that i was just massively depressed and worried i would never be able to be happy)

aromanticism is intrinsically tied to my ace identityi tried dating in highschool, sometimes accidentally, most often because i felt like maybe i would like it and be normal if i just tried itmade myself absolutely miserable im not opposed to ever having a romantic relationship someday, but i’d have to find someone i was interested inim not saying it will never happen but aromantic really just simplifies things for me, in conveying to the world (and by the world i mean mostly tumblr, pretty much would never use that word in the physical everyday world) where i am personally and what i want (or dont want) from others in that respect“I’m Not Interested” is what my label says and for now that remains true

(and if it ever did come to that i am sure the negative experiences i had in highschool would not be repeated because im an adult who is comfortable w myself and knows how to set boundaries)

now that’s all well and good externally but internally it’s not completely cut and dried like that, yknow?and i guess i need a disclaimer here bc ok. the “”“”“sp/lit attrac////tion mo//del”“”that’s a way of talking which i feel is ONLY useful for talking about ace people. it’s absolutely not helpful in other communities. i think it certainly certainly can be valuable for ace people but yes it definitely can be quite damaging in other contexts.now that that’s out of the way, i also don’t think it applies to me at all. i put aromantic in my description, again, for the benefit of other people. not myself. if i ever found someone i felt attraction to i believe it would be attraction in all sensesprobably.anyway so when i say romantic and attraction and so on i do mean that to be all encompassing

to a certain extent i do feel attraction, i guess?? this is where it gets more complicated i have a fundamental belief that i am attracted to pretty much any genderbut what ‘attracted to’ means in this context i honestly couldn’t tell you, and to what extent it’s true is i guess debatable. but it feels true. it has just yet to be true in any /practical/ or real world sense

but it still kinda feels important to my identity, yknow? it took me a long time to add it to my description because i was afraid of being harassed about it and not being able to provide any answers to defend myself

(alright so it actually was true One Time in my entire life while i was at my job at a grocery store. they were the most “traditionally” androgynous person ive ever seen in my life they were wearing a vest and they also looked like a cross bw cassandra drgn age and emily dis/honored which is absolutely my type when playing videogames. they were there for five seconds, i had absolutely no idea how to handle what i was feeling, and i never saw them again. and that’s what i meant when i said it had never been true in any practical sense bc yeah the fact that this happened ultimately doesn’t have any impact on my life when it really comes down to it.)

anyway so i guess that’s the gist of it and theres always more to talk about BUT you are very right this was a really personal question and you got a really personal answer to it and to go more in depth would be even more personal and if this wasn’t to your satisfaction well see answer 1

that being said if you have any more respectful questions for clarification or anything you can send em in. (the more nitty-gritty your questions get the more likely i would be to answer them off anon rather than publicly though but you seem like a reasonable enough person)

[way-to-go-you-funky-little-blue]

there's a beast inside my brain

I can feel it, its thoughts, its wants

it feels weak

it whispers

it shows me what I'm missing, what I lack

I want them too

[way-to-go-you-funky-little-blue]

woo finally got mhwilds running normally again

not that I even know what caused it to break in the first place but it is now running at a stable and decent fps

just in time to fight ATFF (Arch-Tempered Fat Fuck) in a week

... and/or get some lagi armour and weapons to do that with

[way-to-go-you-funky-little-blue]

ah yes sometimes you just forget that you're a cognizant being for a little while due to Persistent Stress Of Existing

[way-to-go-you-funky-little-blue]

*misreads part 1* ah yes I totally understand! *accidentally pre-emptively solves what part 2 wanted*

*realizes, fixes* ah yes that's fine now *sees what part 2 is* fuck.

[way-to-go-you-funky-little-blue]

"Does it hurt? They uh, there was a whole big news report about it, I-"

"Fuck, if I get asked that one more time I'm going to end up on the evening news. How'd you feel if I asked you if every joint in your body ached constantly just because another report came out about just how badly the human body sucks?"

"I, uh, fair, but um, I've got chronic pain, it does hurt. Maybe I'd be glad someone's taking me seriously because my doctors sure haven't?"

"Oh. Fuck, sorry, hell, I-"

"No, no, I get it, trust me I do, just uh, man it sucks huh?"

"Fuck, yeah it does."

"This just in doctors ignore the issues they don't want to address, they uh, they just pin it on something else so they don't have to do anything about it."

"Yeah, haha..."

"Does it, though? Hurt, I mean."

"Fuck yeah it hurts, hurts a lot. They said it was growing pains, brushed it off with 'oh wah wah you'll be recovered in a few months'."

"Hah, they uh, they said the same thing when I got a surgery to fix my knees. Still hurts when it's overcast."

"When was that?"

"Want to say it was uh, 8 years ago? Maybe 9."

"Damn, and they're still acting up? Here I was thinking 6 month turnaround was bad."

"Yeah, haha, they tried to uh, pin it on my weight."

"Fuck, really? You were a fucking twig back then."

"Nah, I just pulled off the look I think, I was uh, I think BMI 24 something?"

"Dude that's a healthy weight."

"No uh, preteen, different for kids, I was, I wanna say like 90th percentile or something at the time? Well into the overweight for my age."

"That's fucked."

"It sure is, hah."

"Wanna bet I could put on the silicone layers and have a doctor say my problem is weight and not the faulty sensors?"

"Oh that'd be hilarious."

[way-to-go-you-funky-little-blue]

I feel like advent of code is already trying to troll me into picking up an already-implemented graph structure this year

'haha yeah there's this topological sort' and then I spent over twice as long as it took me to solve manually just to get nowhere with the most-recommended graph crate I could find

I get that I could do it faster if I already had the core parts of it (the graph structure, with methods for toposort, searches, so on) already made for me, but man is it obtuse how to learn, especially with how many spots feel like there's just missing documentation

like yes, learning how to do the thing with the tools someone else made WOULD be faster in the long run, but also they made it horrendous to do so in the short term, and with those two combined my brain just logs off because struggle with delayed gratification

[way-to-go-you-funky-little-blue]

waking up from one of Those dreams with intense phantom limbs is always fun

it's nice getting to remember what goes on in the dream but it always feels like it doesn't last long enough

neither the dream nor just vibing under the covers flicking my tail and wings while they're still particularly vivid

[way-to-go-you-funky-little-blue]

i have been sucked into a veritable hell! i both love and despise every given moment of it!

i have gone down rabbitholes ending in so many dead links on the search for documentation of this fucking nightmare!

and i still will need to learn more about this!!

this fucking sucks, ny:all / 10 would do again

now researching into how to dissolve the existing data results into something more human-readable and it truly is a hell i probably don't even have to do! i love and hate it so very much <3

[way-to-go-you-funky-little-blue]

i need something like a fidget cube that i can just rend apart with fang and claw as much as i want and it resets to do it again

[way-to-go-you-funky-little-blue]

why don't more fantasy settings have magic capacitor type gear, it feels like such an unexplored thing but it's such a neat one to me, and i don't mean the coalesced power/magic batteries like 'magic users charge up this artifact during downtime to have more energy available when they need it' spread out over weeks/months, i mean magic capacitors, the types that can go 0-100 or back in a literal flash, i mean the type where you can see someone charging these during action and unleash it in one massive burst

(more ramblings and examples under the keep reading)

imagine being at some competition and you see this mage rock up with a funky little backpack and some special gloves, and over the course of a fight you see them tiring out a lot faster than you'd expect for what they're doling out, then you notice the pack starting to glow, and then they unleash all of it at once for one Super Big Attack to win the fight by overwhelming force

or consider imagine mage robes with sewn in threads serving as magic capacitors, they channel excess energy into those while preparing the spell as their robes start to glow brighter along those patterns, so they have more energy available in a burst for the instantaneous draw upon completion, or consider the ritual circle itself doubling as that sort of thing, or the arcana placed around it too, even if that starts to verge back into the magic battery (WHICH HONESTLY STILL FEELS UNDERUTILIZED), and that's just focusing on magic as the classic mage doing it

if you want to get really fun with it you can meld these sort of things with combat weaponry, with less conventional magic users, with all sorts of stuff, you can even have fun with things like parrying/countering spells

don't just cast ice/rock/water/etc to counter that fireball, how about just funnel it into a magic capacitor and use that energy for spells, whether it is 'locked in' to what it was cast as or if you can convert it back into a general energy form for other elements, how about blocking it with a shield, or slicing it with a sword, shooting it with an arrow, that now has a temporary elemental imbuement until it's discharged

i mean hell there's one example i can even think of that does close to this and it's fucking league of legends, one of the cinematics has sylas blocking garen's blade, and sylas uses magic absorbed from the strike to conjure a copy of the blade

it's such a cool concept, i want to see more stuff doing it, i want to see some mage crafting a sword they can imbue with spells on a whim just by channeling the effect through the grip, i want to see a mage whacking a conjured iceball with a nailbat to imbue it, i want to see a mage making something analogous to a gun by imbuing magic capacitors with spell effects and doling them out with precision fire, i want to see a knight using a mage-crafted shield to block an attack only to shieldbash whoever thought that such trickery would work with a magic-boosted strike

like come on, there's such an intrigue in not just having a magic system that enables this sort of stuff, but actually using it for stuff, like if your magic system lets users 'catch' another's spell, why not let them effectively field strip it for parts, if you have a massive bundle of energy + enemy intent heading at you why not just carve the enemy intent off of it and stow the energy in a back pocket to use on them in the next 10 seconds

even if it's just a 'only the most advanced can use this technique' thing, just do it, let them have fun, show the extent of it, there can still be drawbacks, what happens if someone tries to funnel a spell energy somewhere but there's no room in what they have, what happens if someone tries to store conflicting energy types, you could have elemental capacitors specializing in select spell archetypes, you could have the energy rebound in certain cases, you could do so much with it and i don't see enough even considering the base of it