#drunk mrs. claus

[vanilladove]

⋆⁺₊❅⋆ christmas w/ the bsd men .ᐟ

⍋⋆*❅ pairing: various bsd men x gn!reader [dazai, atsushi, ayatsuji, ranpo, fukuzawa, kunikida, chuuya, akutagawa, oda, ango, nikolai, fyodor, sigma, shibusawa, jouno, tecchou]

⍋⋆*❅ genre: fluffy headcanons (some crack again hehe)

⍋⋆*❅ content warnings: none! also headcanons are focused more on cultural/winter festivity aspects of christmas, not the religious ones (except for mentions in fyodor's part)

⋆˙ ☃︎ — 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐄𝐃 𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐘

⁺⋆*❅ dazai osamu

you both decide to go out and explore the city!

purposely stops under every mistletoe around town to makeout with you (he somehow knows where all of them are...)

you go bar hopping to try different holiday drinks like spiked eggnog, cranberry mimosas, and whiskey sours

after you both get super drunk, he takes you out to the town square and twirls you around so you're both dancing under the fresh snow and moonlight

you make christmas cards for everyone with custom stamps and bake christmas cookies to gift (he sets aside the ugly cards + burnt cookies to give to mori/the port mafia)

⁺⋆*❅ atsushi nakajima

something cute to heal your inner child

he takes you sledding, and you scream the whole time from how fast you both go

atsushi tries to help all the kids at the bottom of the hill who wipe out (awwww)

you don't tell him, but his nose gets super red from the cold and you think it's really cute

you get hot chocolate on the way back and spend the night talking by the fireplace (he got you both matching pjs)

⁺⋆*❅ ayatsuji yukito

christmas = the perfect opportunity to dress you up, either as a slavic doll or mr./mrs. claus

escorted by security and a sniper ofc, you both go to the mall and shop around (mostly so he can buy more clothes and accessories for you)

you both get some eggnog and take photobooth pictures at the mall

before he gives you your presents back at home, he pulls you into his lap and makes you tell him if you've been naughty or nice like he's santa lol

does the pocky thing with you but uses a candy cane o///o

gifts you all the shopping bags full of clothes he bought for you at the mall

⁺⋆*❅ ranpo edogawa

ofc it's all about sweets so you build gingerbread houses

ranpo can't build one so he ends up eating his and all of the candy you bought

you both make more sweets from scratch (ranpo probably quits halfway through bc he burnt the gingerbread cookies), so it's just you lol

you decorate christmas cookies and make candy cane hot cocoa and eggnog

after voicing your concerns about having too many sweets and baked goods, ranpo assures you that they'll be added to his snack collection/vault and there's no need to share them with everyone else

⁺⋆*❅ fukuzawa yukichi

doesn't like to celebrate much--he originally wanted to go to a cat cafe, but it was closed bc of the holiday :(

he planned on having a cozy christmas dinner with you and some other members of the doa instead at the office (definitely not bc he also still has work to finish)

somehow, ranpo convices the both of you to dress up as mr. & mrs. claus and you have a whole photoshoot at the office

you end the night at a secluded onsen with some warm tea 😌

⁺⋆*❅ kunikida doppo

basically the karen/soccer mom of christmas. he has an itenerary planned out and you're sticking to it.

you start by unwrapping presents by the tree⎯he gets you something you've had your eye on for a while, since he knows you wouldn't buy it with your own money (so he bought it for you)

i can't explain it but he def has the perfect ugly sweater that he only pulls out and wears on christmas

you then go to do something cute outside, deliver presents to the other doa members (he gives dazai bandages + coal...)

probably the type to refuse to go into their houses/apartments bc he doesn't want to waste too much time (he lowk caves in tho)

at the end of the day, you both visit a pretty christmas lights show

⋆˙ ☃︎ — 𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐅𝐈𝐀

⁺⋆*❅ chuuya nakahara

chuuya is extra so he goes all out with decorations. he fills the house with poinsettias and a huge christmas tree (he has to use gravity to put all the ornaments on it lol)

you make a special mulled wine together

he takes you out a nice fancy dinner (ofc he bought you a beautiful red suit/dress to go along)

sings for you by the fireplace hehe

the tree is full of gifts when you get home (don't ask him how much he spent, just be appreciative that chuuya's your lover 🤫)

⁺⋆*❅ akutagawa ryunosuke

lowk hates the cold but wants to make u happy so he goes out with you to a christmas market

you both get a matching black scarf and glove set

u go to a curios and antiques store (one of his fav places!) and stop to get some hot tea

akutagawa is constantly blushing bc of ur cuteness, and when u kiss him under a mistletoe, he turns beet red but insists it's just the cold

periodically hugs you "for warmth" and definitely not bc he gets jealous of other people looking at you

when you get back home, you both take a warm bath and cuddle by the fire, and he gifts you a special antique item he secretly bought from the store ♡

⁺⋆*❅ oda sakunosuke

christmas dinner with the kiddos

gets everyone matching ugly sweaters and you both fill the kids' stockings while they make snow angels outside

you go to the mall to take the kids to meet and take pictures with santa

you all bake and decorate gingerbread houses and christmas cookies together

his present for you is a wedding ring, and the kids are beyond excited to have you as their other parent

you all fall asleep watching a christmas movie

⁺⋆*❅ ango sakaguchi

he was forced to take work off bc of the holiday, but he's relieved that he gets to spend more time with you

he takes you to a fancy christmas ball that's being thrown by some government officials

he gets a little tipsy and can't stop complimenting how nice you look in your dress/suit, and how grateful he is to have you as his partner

when you finally dance together, you swear it's the most lively you've seen him look⎯he has that glow in his eyes ^u^

firm believer that he gets super clingy when he hasn't seen you in a while, so during dinner he pulls you into his lap to eat and always has a hand on you

when you both finally go home after a long night out, he gives you a present, which is a nice watch/bracelet

⋆˙ ☃︎ — 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐀𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐒

⁺⋆*❅ fyodor dostoevsky

obviously takes you to church first

listens to christmas carols from the church choir (he's lowk an old man so he likes them)

you then go to a ballet show to watch the nutcracker

he makes traditional russian dishes for dinner like meat pies, vegetable fillings, and fish, and drink some sbiten (a warm honey + spice drink), which he prefers over hot cocoa

you end the night reading books by the fireplace as he strokes your hair

gifts you your favorite books and some warm winter clothes/coats

⁺⋆*❅ nikolai gogol

christmas is one of his fav holidays after halloween

after decorating the house and the tree, you both go to a christmas wonderland attraction

other visitors/children keep asking if he's santa bc of his white hair, and you giggle innocently as you take pictures of him

makes Sviat Vechir: A 12-dish meal with kolach, cabbage rolls, and other traditional ukrainian dishes for dinner

gifts u a white sweater he knit himself (awww)

⁺⋆*❅ sigma

it's one of his first christmases, so he lets you plan what to do

you make him some cinnamon rolls + eggnog for breakfast

you both bake and decorate some christmas cookies⎯he's surprisingly good at making intricate patterns and designs, and his cookies are so pretty you almost don't want to eat them

you go skiing⎯sigma definitely struggles at first but he gets the hang of it pretty fast

after you get cold, you both go back inside to get some hot cocos and eat some fondue

you both watch the sunset on the ski lift, which is the most beautiful view against the snow-covered mountains (he secretly can't talk his eyes off you tho)

at home, you unbox presents!

he gifts you plane tickets to a nice getaway vacation ( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡

⁺⋆*❅ shibusawa tatsuhiko

(honorary doa girlie lol)

not particularly interested in the holidays, but he likes flashy things so i think he'd enjoy seeing light shows/big christmas displays

however, he likes to spoil you, so he gets you an advent calendar with an assortment of nice clothes, fancy jewelry, and more

watches as you unbox each day's gift and relishes in your cute reactions

lets you paint his nails red, white, and/or green as you sit in his lap

decorates the christmas tree with gems instead of ornaments since he has so many laying around

⋆˙ ☃︎ — 𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐎𝐆𝐒

⁺⋆*❅ jouno saigiku

another winter cabin getaway bc he hates how crowded and noisy the city gets during this time of year

you go iceskating on the lake together

he can hear the position of you feet and corrects your form so you don't slip and fall on the ice

even if you're good at iceskaing, he keep his arms linked with yours the whole time or holds onto your hand

at one point, he feels like showing off and spins you around and throws you up into the air like a figure skater, and he giggles maniacally while you scream

makes snow angels with you

once you get back to the cabin, you both roast some s'mores over the fireplace and enjoy a warm cup of hot cocoa

you snuggle by the fire and fall asleep in eachother's arms

⁺⋆*❅ tecchou suehiro

he takes you to go hunting + ice fishing

you probably get freaked out by the thought of shooting the animals, so you both end up just doing a nature walk in the woods instead lol

while looking for the perfect tree, you find a clearing and build a buff snowman (tecchou insists he's more muscular tho)

tecchou chops the tree you decide on and hauls it back home himself bc he's that strong lol

he decorates the tree while you cook some of the fish he caught for dinner

you also make some berry tarts and jam cookies with some berries you foraged on the walk (.◜◡◝)

[holylulusworld]

How to cure a grump (3)

Summary: You’re losing your job on Christmas.

Pairing: CEO/Boss!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, grumpy Bucky, awful boss, mistaken identity, kinda fake dating trope, snowed-in trope

How to cure a grump (2)

How to cure a grump masterlist

Tonight, you don’t get much sleep. You toss and turn in your bed, knowing your boss, the man costing you your job and future, is sleeping right next door.

How dare he come here to demand shit from you after kicking you out two days before Christmas! Mr. Rogers knew about the password and PIN. He could’ve easily told your boss about it.

“Wait! That bastard!” You sit up on your bed and curse loudly. They are friends. Maybe this is some sick game they are playing. “I won’t be the butt of their jokes!”

When you get out of bed, you push your feet into the Santa Claus-themed slippers your mom got you for Christmas last year. 

Looking down at your body, you chuckle as the shoes look so different from the high heels you wore for work. They look like Santa's face. They have a white, fluffy beard and mustache. A red Santa hat sits atop each slipper.

“Fuck it,” you mutter and storm toward the door. If Barnes wants to mess with you, he’ll pay for it.

You storm into the guest room without knocking, immediately switching the light on.

“What?” Bucky looks at you like a deer in the headlight. He sits on the bed, in nothing but his boxer briefs. While you try not to stare at his abs, muscular arms, or the prominent bulge in his pants, he’s less subtle.

Bucky looks you up and down in your red and white Christmas-themed pajama set. “Are you often wearing onesies?” He snorts. Bucky never spent time with a woman wearing anything but silky nightgowns, or only a smile for bed.

You’re wearing a long-sleeved pajamas onesie style, featuring a fair isle pattern with elves, snowmen, and Christmas trees on a red background with white accents.

You huff. “I didn’t know you hold power over me in the bedroom too. It’s soft and plush, and I don’t give a shit if you like it or not. I want to know why you are here! Is this a trick? Do you and Rogers want to make fun of me?”

“Rogers must’ve forgotten you left the password,” Bucky grunts while wildly gesturing toward you. “I talked to him, and he didn’t mention it. If I knew about it, I wouldn’t have come here to spend the night at a guestroom in the middle of nowhere instead of getting drunk on Barbados, two hot blondes in my arms.”

You wrinkle your nose. “Figures,” you huff. “I’ll call Walt. Maybe, he can help us get you to the airport so you can leave all the little ants working for you behind to spend an annual salary on your vacation!”

“Not my annual salary,” he dares to say. Bucky even smirks, and you lose your temper again. Right when he gets up from the bed to grab his pants, you jump into motion and tackle him to the ground. He yelps as you slap him across the face, once, twice, three times.

Bucky grabs your wrists in an attempt to stop you from hurting him.

“Munchkin is everything—” Your mother chuckles as she watches you sit on top of Bucky. “Oh, kids, I’m sorry. If only I knew you’re celebrating your reunion!” She closes the door behind her, leaving you and Bucky to your fight.

“Tomorrow morning you are gone, bastard,” you growl. “Now let go of me before I castrate you.”

He smirks. “Your mom believed we were having sex. Did you keep her awake often while you were still living here?”

“Says the man whore,” you wiggle in his grip, snarling as he won’t let go. “I’m not the one with an endless stream of women leaving my bedroom.”

“Not only my bedroom.” He still smirks when he finally releases your wrists.

You hurriedly get up and glare at him.

“I don’t care. In the morning, you’ll find a way to get out of my house, and my town. Use your money for something useful for once. And don’t contact me again! You are dead to me”

Slamming the door shut behind you, you huff. How can women fall for your asshole boss? You can’t believe they only see his pretty façade.

“Morning, lovebirds,” your mother chirps as you make your way into the kitchen. She’s humming Last Christmas while you are in a sour mood. Bucky Barnes has this effect on you. “Oh, where’s James?”

You take a deep breath, ready to tell your mother the truth. This is a serious case of mistaken identity. “Mom, uh—do you remember that I told you my boyfriend broke things up with me some time ago?”

“Of course, Munchkin,” she coos while flipping a pancake. “I’m all for second chances, Y/N. Maybe he finally realized how much you mean to him. But—” She points a knife in Bucky’s direction the moment he steps into the kitchen. “If he messes up again, I’ll castrate him!”

“Like mother, like daughter,” Bucky grumbles as he steps further into the room. “Good morning. Please don’t start the new day by castrating me.” He flashes your mom a stunning smile, earning a giggle.

“Oh, I was joking, James,” she says and goes back to preparing breakfast for a whole football team. “What do you like for breakfast? We have waffles, pancakes, bacon, and eggs, or French toast.”

“I usually only eat egg white.” Bucky pats his stomach, rubbing it. “I try to stay fit.”

“For the ladies,” you sarcastically say. “Mom, he won’t stay for breakfast. James will leave now and try to get a flight back to New York.”

“What? No! He must stay for breakfast,” she sniffles and uses her powerful puppy dog look to make your resolve to kick your former boss out crumble. “What about the Christmas dinner? I already planned everything. I was awake all night!”

“Mom,” you sigh. “He needs to take care of business.” It’s not a complete lie. Bucky wants to take care of a few things back in New York. “Do you think we can make it to the airport?”

“No,” she pouts before taking a large bite from one of the waffles. You watch her chew slowly before speaking again. “The streets aren’t the only problem. Maybe we could make it to the airport with your dad’s old truck, but the airport is closed.”

“I got a private jet,” Bucky throws in, earning an angry look from you. Of course, that rich bastard has a private jet.

“James, no plane will take off today, or for the next days. Not even a private jet,” your mother points out. “If you’d excuse me now, I must pick up a few things for Christmas.”

“Mom, what about the snow?” You hate to see her sad face. “Do you want me to get what you need? I was always the better driver.”

“Your dad was the best driver—” She stiffens, and you can see grief flash up in her eyes. No matter how long he’s gone, she’ll always miss your dad. “He taught me everything.”

“I know,” you murmur and hold out your hand to squeeze hers tightly. “Do you want me to come with you?”

“Yeah.” She nods while struggling to hold back a sob. “I forgot to add a few things to my Christmas list. The streets should be free for now. We should hurry before more snow will keep us from leaving.”

Much to your dismay, Bucky decided to join you on your shopping tour. His pilot told him there was not a chance to get back to New York anytime soon. Now he needs a place to stay over the holidays and boots. It’s too damn cold to wear slippers.

“Over there you can buy boots,” you say, and point at the only shop in town selling warm boots. “I’ll get the things on the list, Mom. You can wait here.”

“Alright, Munchkin,” your mom says while watching Bucky look at you, brows furrowed. He dips his head to watch you storm off. “Don’t take it to heart, James. Christmas was always hard for Y/N since her dad passed away, and John left her for some other girl.”

“John, huh?” Bucky asks as you are busy buying everything your mom has on her list. “What happened?”

“It’s not my place to tell you, James. All I can say is that they wanted to marry the next spring and John decided to cheat.” She huffs. “Y/N moved across the county to get away from him, their business, and the girl he chose over her.”

“Their business?” Bucky presses on. “What kind of business?”

“Oh, nothing special. They—” Your mother gasps loudly as John steps toward you at your aunt’s bakery. “No, no! This will ruin Christmas for Y/N!”

“What?” Bucky follows your mother’s eyes, seeing you stiffen as John stands in front of you to chat you up. “That him?”

“Yes, I must stop him from hurting her!”

“Leave this to me.” Your mother smirks when Bucky enters the bakery. She even chuckles as John’s fiancé watches your former boss walk toward you.

Bucky, on the other hand, doesn’t know what came over him until he shoves John out of his way to cup your face and kiss you fiercely.

You whimper against Bucky's warm and plump lips. It's been a while since someone kissed you, and this kiss is on top of your list.

“Dude, excuse me! We were talking,” John grunts as Bucky and you part. You stare at Bucky, unsure what to do. “Hey! This is not the place to make out!”

“What?” Bucky turns around to smirk at John. “Sorry, I didn’t see you there. I was missing my fiancé, is all.”

“Fiancé?” John hiccups as you are too stunned to react. What just happened? Why did your former boss kiss you? Why is John here?

“Yes, fiancé. And I’d appreciate it if you stopped distracting her. Her mom is waiting outside, and it’s damn cold. We don’t want this lovely lady to get sick, don’t we.”

“Sure, sure,” John awkwardly stammers. “It was nice seeing you, Y/N. Have a good Christmas.” John and the woman he chose over you leave the bakery in a hurry.

You’re still shell-shocked and just watch them leave. What else can you do? If you slap Bucky’s face now, John knows this was all just play pretend.

Meanwhile, your mother stands outside the bakery, smiling to herself as Bucky nervously rubs the back of his neck.

How to cure a grump (4)

More tags in reblog.

How to cure a grump@cjand10, @nofingjustaninchident, @pettyjayy, @pattiemac1, @formulas-bitch, @winchestert101, @greatmistakes, @mrsnikstan, @jokersqueenofchaos

[sarnai4]

Athena: So, who's being Santa?

Hermes: Me!

Ares: You're too short. You'll be an elf.

Hermes (pouts)

Dionysus: What about me?

Athena: Santa can't be drunk.

Dionysus: There's such a thing called Christmas punch. Sometimes, it's spiked.

Athena: My answer remains the same.

Dionysus: My cheeks will be sooo rosy.

Ares: NO.

(Ares and Athena look at Apollo, then back at each other. They shake their heads)

Apollo (offended): What's that supposed to mean?

Ares: Kids want toys, not tutoring. We might as well put Athena in a red coat.

Athena (frowning at him, then shrugs): He's not wrong for once.

Poseidon: I should be Santa.

Ares: As if we'd ever trust you around kids.

Poseidon (frowns)

Athena (to Hades): Maybe you, Uncle?

Hades (not paying attention): Hmm? What am I doing?

Athena: Possibly playing Santa.

Hades: I guess I could let the children know that they don't need to fear death. Having a better understanding of what it's like as a spirit could be useful for when they get older or sooner than later. You never know when it'll be your time.

Athena:...never mind. (Looks at Ares)

Ares (crosses arms): I'm not being Santa.

Hermes: Why not?

Ares: If I can't wear my helmet under the hat, I don't want to.

Hermes: That's not the Christmas spirit.

Ares: Deal with it, elf.

Athena: You're good with kids, though.

Ares (gasping): You promised you wouldn't tell anyone!

Zeus (loudly clears throat): I can be Santa.

Everyone:...

Zeus: Maybe I wasn't loud enough.

Ares: No, that wasn't the issue.

Zeus (glaring)

Hephaestus: I could do it. I'll be sitting the whole time anyway and could just make my beard turn white.

Athena (pleased): That'll work wonderfully.

Hephaestus: Now, there's just the matter of finding Mrs. Claus.

Ares (glaring)

Athena (facepalms): You just had to ruin it.

[film-in-my-soul]

Flower Language | 1,281 | softestpunk / @softest-punk

Summary: “How come you’ve got a desiccated rose in here?” Jayce asks, peering into the drawer he’s opened. He was looking for the delicate little screwdriver he’s fairly sure he last saw in Viktor’s hand, but this is more interesting. “You gave it to me,” Viktor says. “You were a little drunk, I think.” Jayce keeps giving Viktor flowers. It probably doesn't mean anything. Viktor keeps them. That probably doesn't mean anything, either.

Armiger | 3,132 | starkly / @ironized

Summary: There is so much red and gold in Viktor's life. On their clothes, on the decor, on the trinkets and knickknacks that litter their desks and their shelves. But more than that there is Jayce. Or: Jayce likes to give gifts. Viktor doesn't understand why.

The Butterfly Effect | 10,051 | Vamillepudding / @vamillepudding

Summary: “Who’s there?” Jayce asks loudly. “Show yourself!” Slow footsteps. And then, from behind one of their prototypes, comes – a boy. Nine, maybe ten years old. Pale, brown hair, golden eyes. Ragged clothes. Limping. Jayce frowns. The family resemblance is obvious, but Viktor never mentioned that he had a brother. “Did Viktor bring you here?” “Viktor?” the boy asks, frowning right back at him. “I’m Viktor.” Due to a failed experiment, Viktor is turned into a child. Suddenly on his own and feeling desperately out of his depth, Jayce does his best to take care of him while also figuring out a way to bring his partner back.

Take As Needed | 2,145 | JangJaeYul

Summary: Jayce ducks down so they’re on a level. “You okay?” Viktor tears his gaze away from the pills and swims it towards Jayce’s face. “You’re being so nice to me.” He doesn’t mean for it to sound teary, but that’s how it comes out - puzzled and touched and a little bit pathetic. Jayce laughs at him.  “Of course I’m being nice to you. Take those pills.”

Redline | 2,744 | lukewarmoatmeal

Summary: By day, Jayce Talis is Piltover’s golden boy. By night, he’s Hephaestus, a grudge racer with everything to prove. When sabotage threatens his biggest race yet, his only hope is Viktor—the elusive Machine Herald mechanic. A deal is struck, a car is fixed, and Jayce walks away with more than he bargained for. Or; the underground illegal racing AU where Jayce drives fast, Viktor talks shit, and things happen.

annihilation: a love story | 2,878 | sulkybender / @sulkybender

Summary: “You’re mad, aren’t you,” he says, realizing it. “You’re angry.” “Of course I’m angry,” Viktor says quietly. “You threw your life away.” “That was my decision.” “It wasn’t even a decision,” Viktor hisses. “Can you look at me honestly now and tell me that you thought it through at all?” Jayce looks at him, lips parted, helpless. “Go on,” Viktor says, with relish. “What was the plan? Tell me your big wonderful plan.” There’s silence, Viktor’s sharp gold eyes, like the fine edge of an instrument that will cut him open. He can feel it starting now. “Don’t… punish me,” Jayce says finally. “For loving you.”

Claus and Effect | 3,238 | punk_rock_yuppie

Summary: “Oh, uh, you might not recognize me without all the-?” “I do,” Viktor chokes out, “You’re very noticeable.” Santa smiles. “You think so?”

Beneath Apocalyptic Snowflakes | 4,051 | muttshrooms / @hornedgod

Summary: The first year of their Hextech partnership, Viktor learns a lot about Jayce. Close quarters and long working hours will teach you many things about a person that you would never think to ask. As the seasons turn and the leaves outside their lab begin to fall he starts to notice new, distressing behaviors.

I heard you like magic, I've got a wand and a rabbit | 3,404 | map_of_mysteries / @map-of-mysteries

Summary: “How about this,” Powder says. “You go flirt with Mr. Muscle over there, and you’ll get first pick on time slots for three months. No matter the outcome. Deal?” Viktor hates that he’s tempted. “You know you want it~” Viktor caves. “One pick-up line.” Powder’s grin is manic. “Deal!"

the heart is hard to translate | 7,693 | jasspurr / @jasspurr

Summary: They don't talk about it. Jayce wants to talk about it. He wants to pull Viktor aside and beg him to say it out loud. To put the unspoken message behind all of these little gestures into words so that he doesn't have to sit there and rip his hair out guessing. But he can't. Because – and this is the punchline – he’s terrified that, if he does, all of it will stop.

Operator, dial 1-800-1-VIKTOR | 2,185 | dioscums

Summary: It’s a school night and Viktor really shouldn’t be using the telephone at one in the morning to talk to his boyfriend, Jayce.

Exclusive Appetites | 2,937 | fenfyre (Jace) / @fenfyre

Summary: After a failed supply run to the Undercity Jayce stumbled upon Viktor indulging in one of his more decadent hobbies. The most noticeable was the mask. A gorgeous, intricate piece of art hewn from bronze coloured metal shaped into the likings of a bird. The forehead was decorated with a smatter of delicate gears that trailed all the way down along the left temple. A round piece of glass covered the right eye, reflecting the low light of flickering candles, and the beak was curved just enough to reveal pale lips at the right angle.

Fumbling Prayer | 3,473 | jackalhowl

Summary: Jayce bends down, kisses the matching dimples at the small of Viktor’s back; he sinks his canines into the gentle rise of one cheek. Viktor’s good leg twitches, kicking out blindly, and he splutters an indignant little laugh into the sheets. “Tenderizing your meal?” he drawls at Jayce sarcastically, but there’s something pulled taut in his voice. Anticipation. His hips cant further upwards by a fraction of a degree, almost invisible but unmistakable. It’s always so subtle with Viktor, but Jayce has learned to read every part of him. He’s presenting for Jayce. It’s irresistible. Fuck, Viktor is always irresistible – but when he relents like this? Offers himself up and allows Jayce to manhandle him? Yeah.

onanist | 3,692 | blue_moon_blooming

Summary: This isn’t the first time he’s done this—long nights alone in the lab have given him plenty of opportunity to…indulge. And he knows what will come after. The guilt, the shame, the familiar disgust with himself. It’s never stopped him before, though. And it doesn’t stop him now. While Jayce is out rubbing shoulders with Piltover’s elite, Viktor broods in the lab. And by broods I mean he jerks off with Jayce’s jacket while being a certified freak.

low ground advantage | 3,877 | animediac / @jaywalkers

Summary: “Come on,” Jayce murmurs, voice low. “Do you need help?” “To sleep? I’m not a chi—” Viktor trails off, when Jayce’s hand moves from the edge of the couch to the buckle of Viktor’s belt. “Jayce.” “What?” Jayce shoots him an innocent look. “I’m just doing my due diligence as a concerned lab partner”

mouth open | 4,912 | frankie_31 / @were-weenkie

Summary: Jayce Talis, the company COO, won’t stop calling Viktor. At first, it just seems like regular IT issues but then Jayce’s equipment starts dying in strange, unusual ways and Viktor begins to think that maybe Jayce is trying to tell him something.

like a stone | 5,533 | bitethehands

Summary: "Wait another hour. If you still feel nothing, you can have some more." He forcibly directs his focus to the book and hears the subtle shifting again. He doesn’t think Viktor realises he’s doing it. The dark thing turns in Jayce’s stomach. It’s not going to take an hour.

zero seconds since | 5,921 | annorii

Summary: There's a first time for everything.

Kinda I Want To | 6,456 | Anonymous

Summary: Jayce doubled over, his body relaxing a little bit as he coughed, still refusing to focus on anything but Viktor. But, now, this focus was less fear and confusion and more… disbelief. When he caught his breath, he slumped down to sit on the floor. “Viktor?” Viktor just nodded. Jayce let out a few raspy breaths from the back of his throat like he was laughing. “Prove it. Prove it, say something that only he would know.” “You don't know me well enough yet for that to work.”

for goodness' sake | 6,717 | WhoTheBuckIsStucky / @kjmsupremacist

Summary: Viktor calls Jayce "good boy" once, casual and offhand, and it feels anything but casual to Jayce. Viktor notices and decides to use this power for evil.

Some Enchanted Evening | 6,994 | AppleSharon / @applesharonfiction

Summary: “Do you ever get jealous of me?” he asks Viktor after taking a small sip. He steels himself for Viktor’s answer. The tapping sound of Viktor’s cane is steady against the stone floor of the terrace. It’s familiar. “No. I do not envy your position, Jayce. If anything after tonight I feel…I feel like perhaps I should have come to a few more of these events with you earlier.” Jayce always wants Viktor at his side. Viktor has trouble understanding why.

In the Spaces Between | 7,443 | Disguised_Bird

Summary: In the gleaming halls of Piltover’s Academy, Jayce and Viktor are more than just brilliant partners—they are soulmates brought together by ambition, trust, and an unrelenting pursuit of progress. But when an intimate moment at a high-society gala blurs the lines between their work and their emotions, Viktor finds himself questioning everything he thought he understood about their partnership. Caught between their Hextech dream and the simmering tension they can no longer ignore, Jayce and Viktor must navigate the uncharted territory of desire, vulnerability, and trust. In the spaces between equations and quiet glances, they may find that they are inextricably bound not just by their work, but by something deeper.

Personal Lies | 7,740 | MarionetteFtHJM / @marionettefthjm

Summary: Once is an accident. Twice is a coincidence. But three times? Three times is someone perpetuating a baseless rumor. The nature of the gossip is much like that of sound waves. Word travels, and it does so at an alarming speed. Whether it were the three assistants or someone else, the rumor seems to have caught everyone ablaze, spreading like wildfire. He needs to put a stop to this before it's too late.

fragile state | 8,222 | notsolstice

Summary: “It appears to be a mild concussion, all things considered. I’ll give him something for the pain and will keep him here overnight for observation, and he should recover soon with adequate rest. Which means he’s out of the ring for at least a month—” Viktor stops abruptly mid-sentence. It’s probably because Jayce has leaned forward to rest his head against Viktor’s collarbone, jutting out prominently under the thin black undersuit. Jayce closes his eyes and sighs contentedly, nuzzling closer. “Fuck, I wish I had a camera right now,” Vi says, clearly trying to stifle a laugh. “Thanks, doc. I’ll get out of your hair before Jayce says or does something even more embarrassing. Stop him if he tries to bleach his hair, yeah? He was really fixated on that earlier.” “Thank you, Vi,” Viktor replies in a strangled tone.

all that pretty love | 11,070 | BeesKnees / @kneesofthebee

Summary: “Hello! I’m Jayce,” the man says. He offers his hand across the table. “I am not interested,” Viktor says, and he looks back down at his book.

With you, without you | 12,894 | Rekki

Summary: "I’m a doctor.” Viktor says, frowning as one of the latches on Jayce's brace doesn’t close. “I help people with their backs.” “Doctor…?” “Dr. Talis.” Viktor says softly. The answer is like a punch to the gut. Jayce has forgotten who he’s talking to. A spouse, in a different life. The notion alone is enough to almost bring those pesky tears back. That insane vulnerability in his brain, the tender and abused place of him that doesn’t know how to quantify such an idea. Jayce would give anything to Viktor, be anything for Viktor. And in this universe, he’d been his husband. Had given him his name. A gift that has lasted beyond even death.

Santa Baby | 15,911 | blossombubble

Summary: For the first time in his life, Christmas sceptic Viktor finds himself wanting to sit on Santa’s lap. OR Viktor never thought he’d meet his future husband cosplaying as Santa for charity.

Seeing Stars or Something | 16,612 | Rekki

Summary: Professor Jayce Talis is really interested in the new Ravenclaw professor Viktor. Like, really interested. “Oh, please. You don’t know if Viktor is interested or not, you hardly know him.” Jayce rubbed a hand over his face, the image of Viktor on his knees with a mouthful of cock flashing powerfully through him in protest. But- Mel was right, though. Jayce had no idea if Viktor was interested or not. Afterwards, Viktor wasn’t even half-mast. Maybe he just has erectile dysfunction?

knottin’, baby | 36,393 | frankie_31 / @were-weenkie

Summary: Viktor gets hit with an early heat, and Jayce—being the good, well-meaning (and a bit too helpful) alpha that he is—steps in to help. They strike a very professional deal to tackle their heat and rut. They’re partners, it’s just another facet of how well they work together! And it’s just a nice bonus that Viktor starts to discover how fulfilling a heat can be with an alpha he actually trusts. It’s a totally platonic, super friendly arrangement. No, seriously, it’s just friendly. They’re partners, not mates.

lovers and invention by perfidiousalbion / @perfidiousalbion

2 Part Series | Rated M & E | Total Words: 7,244

Part 1 Summary: Jayce just smiles again. Viktor knows he’ll never earn that expression. No matter what he does, he’ll never, ever earn it. Every time he sees it it’ll be another penny in the bank of Viktor Having Things He Doesn’t Deserve.

jayvik blood kink by InAllPossibilities

2 Part Series | Rated E | Total Words: 13,010

Part 1 Summary: He stands and walks slowly to the kitchen sink and stands there, still staring wide eyed at his hands. His stomach turns. But the nausea doesn’t hit, instead a warmth spreads from his gut and sends a shiver down his spine. Jayce raises his hands closer to his face to look at where the edges are drying a deep ruddy brown. Then the smell hits him: metallic and sharp, unmistakable. He swears he salivates. And he doesn’t know why, but without thinking, he lifts his right hand to his nose to inhale.

Blog Info ☆ 2025 Reclists ☆ 2024 Reclists

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

[10:16 pm]

(cw: alcohol consumptions, suggestive pick up lines)

The music throughout the frat house was thumping loudly, Fratboy!Jaehyn could feel the beats vibrating through the floor beneath him. The lights were flashing in a red and green pattern, the vodka was vanilla flavored, peppermint flavored schnapps mixed with everything, and every brother of the frat had a Santa hat on. There was no better way to celebrate the end of finals, the end of the fall semester, and the beginning of winter break than the annual Winter Nu Chi Theta party. It was one of their most anticipated parties of the year, sure all their parties were great, but this was their best party.

A party that was so good that Jaehyun was having a hard time finding you, despite having received your ‘here’ text 20 minutes ago. He was walking around, fighting his way through the crowds of people to try and find you. He stopped and chatted to a few familiar faces, stopped to take a shot- or more, and helped clean up some messes.

This was happening eve before the party had started, the frat brothers were passing around bottles of vodka and schnapps while they hung plastic garlands, fairy lights, and placed Christmas trees on varying surfaces. They blasted Mariah Carey and Wham through the house with no shame, singing along with no shame at all. Needless to say, by the time the party had started they were all more than a little buzzed- some more than others. *cough cough* Haechan.

Finally, he saw your friends and walked up with a smile. “Ho ho,” you turned to face him with a bright smile, “…holy shit, you look good.” Yes, Jaehyun had bought the outfit for you, but it was one thing to see the outfit on a hanger, and another to see it on you. Jaehyun had told you he was going to be dressed as Santa Claus so he wanted you to dress as Mrs. Claus. You had no reason to deny him besides the fact that it would look totally stupid but then he reminded you he would also be dressed up. Well, he wasn’t dressed up.

“This is your Santa Claus outfit? A hat?” You ask with your arms crossed across your chest.

Jaehyun laughs as he hits the pompom at the end of his hat, “duh!”

You roll your eyes, “I should have never let you watch Mean Girls. Are you all dressed as Santa then?”

His eyes widened in happy surprise, “Yes! You understood the reference for your costume!” Looking down at your red camisole and fur lined plastic skirt, you really wondered how you didn’t catch his reference before.

“So if I match with you and all the other frat bros also have so called Santa costumes on, doesn’t that mean I’m also matching with them?” You ask slowly.

Just then a very drunk Haechan stumbles by and does a double take before walking back to you with a drunken wink, “Mrs. Claus! My wife! I sure ho ho hope I’ll see you later for a not so silent night.”

Taeyong tugs him toward his room upstairs with an apologetic smile while you look at Jaehyun with a questioning arch of your eyebrow, “And here I thought your pick-up line was original. Are all of you using them tonight?”

“No…” but then you hear Johnny trying “I’ve got a one-way ticket to the naughty list if you’re interested,” on a girl from your political science class.

Jaehyun blushes but clearly not ashamed enough to try, “Wanna pretend to be presents and get laid under the tree?”

You face palm, snatching the candy cane patterned shot glass from Mark’s hand for yourself. You tilt your head back and shake your head to help with the strong minty flavor, “How many of these pick-up lines do you have?”

“Santa’s lap isn’t the only place wishes come true, baby,” Jaehyun winks dramatically with a kiss blown your way.

You bury your face in his chest while laughing. He’s barely able to hear you over the remix of Justin Bieber’s Drummer Boy, but he managed to hear, “Shut up! They’re getting worse!”

He leans down to whisper in your ear, you can feel his breath, “wanna go up to my room and Scrooge?”

You screech, “Jaehyun!”

You can feel your face heating up with embarrassment while you wrapped your arms tighter around Jaehyun’s waist to keep your face hidden in his sweater.

And then possibly worst of all, “Wanna meet Santa’s little helper?”

You shove him away, your face heating while you fan your face from the immense embarrassment you feel. “Jaehyun, people are going to hear you!”

“What’s wrong with that?” He laughs loudly.

You cross your arms, “I’m going to look like a major loser passing by everyone here on my way to your room later.”

He smirks, “so what I’m hearing is the pick-up lines are working?”

“Unfortunately,” you sigh, “take me to your room?”

Jaehyun smirks at you and guides you up the stairs. He closes his bedroom door behind the both of you while you get comfortable on his bed. Then he turns to you with a cocky smile, “You’d be the first gift I’d unwrap Christmas morning.”

-

a/n: I used this prompt list by @novelbear

[wraithchic]

Rogue Roses

Word Count: 3k+

Ship: Valeria Garza x reader

My past is behind me, finally. Now I own a bar called "Velvet," a name that came to me easily after renovating the interior. I chose a rich red velvet for the seats at the tables. I used to think it was way too luxorious for a bar de mala muerte, my opinion changed when a customer came in and told me it made him feel like royalty, and there and then I felt like I had made the right decision. That comment made me get an uniform, which wasn’t really one, as I was the only person working here at the time, I chose a red velvet low-cut square-neck shirt and black flared pants, which made me feel like a slutty Mrs. Claus and way too navideña all year round, but the uniform makes me confident, and most importantly, brings in tips.

I’m used to dangerous people coming into Velvet, most of the customers are, but the bar isn’t my first time dealing with them. I sometimes feel like I’m the only person with morals inside this place, well, *now* I have some morals.

There’s one server at the bar tonight, his name is Constantino. He was the only person to hand in his resume when I was hiring, but he is the best waiter/bartender/bouncer on the bar, besides me, that is. And although he is a young soul, his body is around fifty-five years old, he also is fucking scary looking, he stands at almost two meters tall and ex-militia, so he is also the security at this place. -I should look into hiring some more help.- I tried to make-up for that scariness by giving him an uniform, just like mine, just that his was a red dress-shirt. We look like a Christmas gone-wrong movie, which wasn’t what I intended but, hey! We look good, I think.

Usually Constantino tends to tables while I work as a bartender, serving everyone who sits at the bar counter. And tonight, that’s the case, but we always take turns on the different jobs.

My shift begins with the usual crowd: drunks and football enthusiasts, we have two TVs at the top of the far right and far left wall, there’s some seats at the bar with no visibility of the TVs so they are empty most of the time. Today is a slow day, just the alcoholics that come here every day, the ones I serve despite the voice in the back of my mind telling me not to; so after a couple of hours, when the door opens and a woman walks in I can’t help but turn in her direction.

She’s wearing a black turtle neck shirt, cargo pants, combat boots, and a knife strapped to her leg, I can tell she’s one of the dangerous people. I don’t want to throw flowers my way, but since owning the bar I’ve gotten really good at profiling. I look at her second too long, but I avert my gaze to the cups I’m washing. The last thing I see about her is she sitting down at one of the almost-always-empty seats.

“One rum shot, linda.” I hear her say. She has an accent, that combined with the very obvious usage of Spanish tells me that she’s probably from Las Almas. Her voice is silky but somehow rough, I wonder how she would sound when she’s eating m… I need to stop that train of thought, I can afford an affair right now. “Yes, coming right up!” I shoot a smile her way as I dry my hands on my apron. As I pour her shot, her eyes never leave me, I feel her gaze burn on my face, I wonder what she’s thinking.

When I give it to her she takes a moment to sip it, savoring the taste before setting the shot glass down. I don’t really take pride in my shots though, a couple years back I leaned to mix drinks so the other beverages I serve are way better. I leave after handing her her drink to tend to other clients, although I would stay just to admire her gorgeous face… Oh Gods, stop it Y/N, you can’t get involved with a customer you don’t even know.

The woman’s gaze follows me around, it’s kind of creepy how focused she gets while I work. I try to ignore her, just looking in her general location every now and then. After debating for some minutes I decide to come up to her, that’s what good customer service is all about after all.

“Would you like anything else? To drink of course.” I smirk and can feel myself slightly blushing. I’m not one to flirt often so my skills are quite rusty and I don’t even know if it came across as a flirtatious joke. The woman smiles softly at me, her fingers idly tapping on the bar.

“For now, mi amor, just you. But I’m always open to suggestions.” I pout, as a sarcastic joke of course. “I’m afraid I’m not on the menu, corazón. But hey! This next drink is on the house, choose whatever me want.” The woman grins, her eyes sparkling with an intention I remember quite vividly from my late life, mischief. It can’t mean anything good. “Maybe you should be. But for now… two shots of rum, please. I’ll pay for the extra one.” She raises her empty shot glass in a silent toast to me while she smiles.

I carefully pour her drink and decide to ask something that’s been lingering on my mind. “What’s your name? Every good-looking woman has one.” I feel like my face is going to fall off, I can’t believe I just said that. My mouth is running faster than my head. “My name is Valeria, my love. And you are…” She leans in closer and speaks before I can answer, her voice a seductive whisper.

“Just the type of girl I’ve been looking for.” I audibly laugh “We’ll see about that.” I wink at her, badly, I was never one to control my facial muscles very well, besides, the last time I flirted was back in High School, before life carried me away from any sort of love life and work took over everything. “Name’s Y/N. Not fitting though, you can call me yours... “

I walk away to serve other drunks before she can answer. I need time away from her to gather my racing thoughts and (presumably) high blood pressure. I walk over to Constantino, who already has a shit-eating grin on his face. “She hasn’t taken her eyes off you, miss.” I hate it when he calls me that and he knows it, he is trying to get on my nerves.

“I know, Tino, I can feel it. Now get back to work, you have a family to feed.” We always joke like that, he’s like a father to me, a father away from home. After hiring him I met his husband and their two kids. “Okay boss, but, hear me, you’ve been alone for way too long and, by the look in your eyes, she’s a commitment you’re willing to pursue.” He raises his eyebrows as he walks away to talk to customers.

When I look back at Valeria she takes her drink, sets the shot glass down and leans back on the bar. I come back and serve her the third shot of the night. “Just so you know, the shots are ninety pesos each. Call me if you need anything else.” I say and leave after giving her a last glance. That’s the least sexy thing I’ve ever said. I know the shots I sell were pricey for such a simple drink but they were quality, and Velvet was the only bar in a couple of kilometers to serve 1800’s aged tequila. “Oh, be certain I will, preciosa.” She chuckled, it was like music to my ears.

As closing time approaches everyone starts to leave so I have time to talk to Valeria, I approach her “Oh Gods, today’s been exhausting. There was this guy who was trying to flirt with me, but I couldn’t get him to understand that he wasn’t my type” I laugh at my bad joke.

Valeria chuckles softly, her eyes never leaving mine. “I can imagine. Some men can be quite persistent. Was it the older one with the red shirt?” I lightly laugh at her assumption. “Oh hell no, that’s my employee, and he’s married.” “Sorry about that… So tell me, what is my type?” She makes an emphasis on the last part, I guess she’s trying to get me to say I’m attracted to her. “That’s a pretty easy guess, isn’t it? You tell me” And it is, I’m not super picky with my women. Any of her guesses would be pretty much correct.

“I’m guessing someone strong, confident, and not afraid to take charge... and a bit rough around the edges." Her voice is low and teasing. “You’re right, but what about physically? That’s a pretty easy guess too” I smile and she smirks. “Oh... someone with dark short hair and beautiful with toned muscles and sharp features. Am I close?” Her eyes flicker down to my neck, if I didn’t know any better I would think she’s a vampire. I can tell by her tone that she is still teasing me. Two can play that game.

“Oh now you’re just describing yourself but I’d say you’re pretty damn close. This is a fun game. I’ll guess your type now.” I lean on the counter, giving Val a full view of my cleavage. I know full well that I should change my work clothes to something less Christmasy but that shirt brought more clients than the drinks I served ever would. Her eyes flicker down to my chest and back up to her face, a predatory grin spreading across her face “My type?”

“Oh yeah.” I start describing myself. All I wanted to know is if she is as attracted to me. “And you like playing hard to get, don’t you, princesa?” Her voice is a low growl and her face is twisted in a cynical smile, her fingers now trailing lightly down my arm. “Ahora dime, vida mía, why are you single? I’m guessing you are." “Tell me how you know I’m single and I’ll tell you the reason.” Her knowing I’m single is kind of creepy and my curious mind needs to know. Curiosity killed the cat, after all.

“Well, you haven’t looked at your phone since I’m here, so no one is texting you or if they are, they can wait. And there’s no tan line on your ring finger, so you’re not married.” She says it as if she had been waiting for someone to ask about it. But certainly, satisfaction brought him back.

“Wow, you’re quite observant. So, in this business it’s better if men find me attractive and think they have a chance with me, then they don’t mind the high prices.” I say with a big smile on my face. “For example, you didn’t question the price of my shots even before looking down at my cleavage, and you’re not a man.” I chuckle and walk back to lean on the wall.

She smirks. “Touché. You’re quite the tease. But remember, I’m always in control, even when it comes to my little games.” Valeria’s gaze never leaving my body. “I don’t think so… you haven’t looked away from me since you walked in. You would love it if I just got on my knees and praised me like a God, wouldn’t you?” That’s what I wanted to do, I just needed her to tell me to do it.

Her eyes flash with amusement and desire as she watches my face. “Oh preciosa, you have no idea what I’d really like to do with you. But for now, let’s focus on business.” My playful facial expression dropped to a serious one fearing what she might mean. I ran away, far enough for no one to know me, how could she? “What business are you talking about?” She smirks, her fingers tracing along the countertop “I’m interested in purchasing some of your... unique items.”

My last romantic affair took an unexpected turn during my final year of high school when my then-partner led me down the path of shady business dealings. What initially began as a seemingly harmless and exhilarating escapade soon transformed into a serious occupation after I decided to part ways with her. I used to be an exceptional artifact smuggler, no police, national or international, could ever catch me. I had stolen and sold more than three thousand different artifacts from all around the world, from emeralds to clothes and paintings, I had swiped it all in almost seven years. Roughly five

years ago I stopped. Morals were threatening to catch up to me and so was the CIA, they had never been so close to finding me, so I changed almost everything about myself. I got a new hairstyle, threw away my cell phone, moved to Mexico, decided to never visit again the countries I swiped from and the most painful decision I ever took, never going back to my homeland. I formed a new life in Las Almas, bought a bar and a small house with the leftover money from my past deals and burned the rest. But now all of my efforts se fueron al carajo, she knew who I was.

I walked over to her and whispered “I stopped selling contraband historical items, preciosa, find another place to buy it from.” I haven’t been this serious all night and in general, it’s quite rare for me to be. I can feel the scowl on my face. Vale’s finger traces along the counter, brushing against my hand, “I’m sure we can come to an arrangement.” Her voice is honey-sweet, her dark eyes burning.

“No voy a aceptar incluso si ofreces acostarte conmigo. Won’t happen, although, sí aceptaría lo segundo but no more contrabando from me. I left that world long ago” And I wasn’t lying, even before the CIA came close to me, I was planning on starting a new life with the money I had earned. “Eres astuta, aren’t ya? Hazlo por mí, one last time. I could pay me whatever you’d want”

“In this business, you need to be. I’ll close the bar and then I’ll see what I can do. Don’t worry about paying it’s all on me” I don’t know what came over me but I remembered that I had some leftover items I brought with me as a reminder of my past life, but also because I fled Spain, the country I was at at the time I heard that the C.I.A. was soon to catch me, so fast I couldn’t really decide what things to pack and what to leave behind. This was an opportunity to truly become someone new.

I go over and close all the tabs, then kick out some of the leftover drunk men, the bar had closed half an hour ago after all. Constantino was long gone by now. I come back to talk to Vale but she speaks first. Chuckling softly, Valeria leans against the counter, her body language inviting yet, not completely “That’s quite the generous offer, linda. But perhaps we can strike a deal where you help me find what I’m looking for, and I’ll… well, help you.” Now she´s got my attention “Tell me about it, Vale.” I am quite curious about this deal. Her lips curl into a seductive smile, her gaze holding an unspoken promise, which I can’t really pinpoint.

“I’m looking for some rather... unique items. Something that would pique the curiosity of a collector, perhaps something with a dark or mysterious history. And in exchange, I’ll give you protection and perhaps, some security for this place.” Having security for Velvet didn’t sound half bad. “I have some leftover items in my house, if you want those I’ll give them to you free of charge.”

Her eyes twinkle with interest as she considers my offer “Oh, really? Now that’s intriguing. I’d love to take a look at these leftover items, mi amor. They might just be what I’m looking for. But tell me, vida mía, what are they?” “They are a piece of the Koh-I-Noor Diamond, an original Picasso, and the Nebra Sky Disk… Just let me finish everything here and go home to bring me the things.” Valeria’s gaze flickers between me and the door, her mind clearly racing with excitement “I’d be delighted to see them, preciosa. You’re sure you don’t mind parting with them?”

“I really don’t, I’ve been trying to forget about them for a long time and didn’t know how. Is this a deal then?” I extend my hand for her to shake it, and when she does a shiver runs down my spine, I’m not sure why but ever since I saw her sitting at my bar a couple of hours earlier, I’ve needed to touch her, but not the lingering touch like the lines she’s been tracing on my arm but a whole touch, like this. Now, if this was her effect on me with only a handshake, what would happen when she touches my… Oh Gods, I stop my mind from going in that direction before I blush even more.

Valeria’s gaze is intense as she grips my hand in a firm handshake. “Yes, this is a deal.” I bring Valeria’s hand to my mouth and kiss the top like the true gentlewoman my mami raised me to be, I truly miss her. “I’ll be right back” I go out the door and hop on my motorcycle to get to my residence, it’s a small house a couple of minutes away from the bar. It’s my house, not my home. My home is in another country, with my family and the last bit of my innocence. When I got there I looked for the goods and my gun, I’m not that dumb, for all I know that woman could be part of the C.I.A., and I’m not going to take that risk. I pack the items, put them on a backpack, and head back to my bar.

I open the door to find the bar empty until I feel my chest hit the wall, knocking the air out of me. She was right behind me, breathing on my neck. So now, I’m not breathing properly for two reasons and I feel the wetness slit. She growled. “You left the door unlocked, anyone could’ve come in at any time. You’re lucky I was here to protect my place.” I left it unlocked because she was here, but I’m not about to say that. She backs away and I turn around.

“And you’re lucky I had the backpack in my hand, if I hadn’t you would’ve broken the things.” I huff and place the backpack on the counter. “Take a look, they’re inside” I step back and place my hand inside of my pocket, taking the safety out of my gun. I’m not sure if she heard it but better safe than sorry.

Valeria opens the backpack, her eyes never leaving the items in question “They’re beautiful.” She runs her hands over the crown and disk, her fingertips tracing the intricate details “And the painting... it’s stunning.” “Son todos tuyos, I don’t want to be associated with that part of my life anymore… How did you know where to find me?” I am partly relieved that the contraband is no longer mine but on the other hand, I need to find out if I need to take Valeria out.

“Tengo a mis informantes, and I’m not with the feds, sé que eso es lo que te preocupa. Now leave the gun alone. I’m not a threat to you.” “That still doesn’t relieve me.” I say. “If I were an undercover cop, would I have flirted with you all night before even trying to buy from you? Aparte, los policías son pendejos y jamás te habrían encontrado. I’m not a cop, I’m quite the opposite, actually.” She answered while continuing to carefully pack the items again. Meanwhile, I sit at a bar stool, it’s not quite comfortable but that’s the goal, making already drunk people want to leave and sober people want to drink to forget about it, drinking. “So you are dangerous, huh?” “Of course I am.” She smiles at me, it’s charming. “I think I saw my mouth water at that.” Now she’s laughing at me.

I blush but decide to change the subject. “I never get to sit on this side of the bar, it’s quite refreshing.” Valeria glances over at me once again, having finished packing, a smirk playing at the corner of her lips. “It’s always refreshing to see someone enjoying themselves, mi amor.” I chuckle “Why are you calling me “mi amor”, huh?” I’m teasing her again. “I knew you were into me but not to that level.” Valeria’s smirk grows as she leans on a table. “Oh, but I am, amor mío. You’re irresistible, you know that? And the way you blush so beautifully… it’s quite captivating.” I blush even more at her words. “I don’t blush! It’s the way I did my make-up.” How can she get me so flustered with such simple words?

Laughter bubbles up from Valeria’s chest, a light and airy sound that fills the room. “Ah, you flatter yourself. It’s adorable.” I decide to look in the other direction to avoid looking into her eyes. “I’m not doing that, pesada.” “If you’re not then I will. you’re beautiful, talented, and absolutely irresistible.” I feel a surge of braveness across me and decide to flatter her too. “Well, you’re not bad off yourself. Creative, dominant, and fucking gorgeous.” Valeria’s eyes widen in surprise, her smirk growing. “Oh, you think so?” She steps closer to me. “And I forgot to mention, that gloss you’re wearing looks like it tastes fucking delightful.” I really don’t know where I got this boldness from but I’m speaking my truth.

Valeria’s smirk turns predatory. “And what makes you say that, mi amor?” She glided her fingertips along my jaw, her lips were mere inches from mine. “Out of pure curiosity, nothing else.” I smirk. Vale chuckles softly at that as she leans in even closer. “Curiosity killed the cat but it certainly doesn’t deter me.” After saying that she finally kisses me. I’ve been wating for this all night and its even better than I thought. Valeria’s hands roams up my body, one stops at my hip and the other takes my gun out of my pocket. “Wouldn’t want you to shoot me, mi vida...”

[pintsizemama]

Decorating Cookies

Day 17

Summary: You decorate cookies with Will, Frankie, Benny, and Santi.

Pairings: Frankie Morales, Will Miller x You, Frankie Morales, Will Miller x Female Reader

Fandom: Triple Frontier

Rating: Mature

Warnings: language, talk of crime scenes and blow jobs, drinking

Word Count: 870

A/N: This goes along with the other Frankie/Will Christmas stories.

Day 16 Day 18 Christmas Masterlist Main Masterlist AO3 Join my taglist

You sat on the plush sectional in the cabin surrounded by your four favorite people. Benny and Santi had finally joined you, Will, and Frankie on your Christmas getaway. You were all watching a Christmas movie, but the guys weren’t paying much attention. You eyed the eggnog and saw everyone needed a refill. You stood up and gathered the glasses and disappeared into the kitchen while the guys gave Benny shit about his latest hookup.

Once in the kitchen, you poured more eggnog into each glass and added a hefty dose of bourbon. You made sure to do an extra pour—or two—into Will’s. After the movie you were all planning to decorate cookies together, and you figured the extra bourbon would help Will lighten up and not focus on each cookie being absolutely perfect. You brought the eggnog back in and handed it out to each of the guys. A chorus of ‘thank you’ followed you to your seat. Before you could sit back down Frankie snagged you and pulled you down next to him. He loved to cuddle, and you were surprised it took him this long to grab you. You snuggled in and watched the rest of the movie.

“Who’s ready for some cookie time?” Benny hollered out excitedly.

“Just make sure not to eat all of them before they’re decorated, Benny,” you said with a smile.

“That was one time!” Benny defended himself. You all chuckled and made quick work of pulling out everything you needed and spreading it out on the large table. Will looked a little unsteady, and you worried you may have put a little too much in his eggnog.

“What the fuck is wrong with the gingerbread house?” Benny asked.

“What?” Frankie said.

“Why does it look like two different people decorated it without consulting each other first?” Santi cut in.

“Well, Will decorated one side, and Frankie and I did the other,” you explained.

“Why?” Benny asked.

“Because Will is a perfectionist, and didn’t want us to get into another fight,” you answered.

“Another fight?” Santi questioned.

“Don’t ask,” Frankie groaned.

“Let’s just decorate some cookies,” Will told everyone. You all sat down and got to work. You had to scold Benny a few times for eating too many of the decorations, and Will knocked a few things over as he was reaching for them, but otherwise it was going well. After a while you looked up when you heard Will giggling. You noticed he was still drinking the eggnog. He kept giggling, and had now caught the attention of everyone at the table.

“What’s so funny, Will?” Frankie asked. Will held up his cookie. He was decorating a snowman shaped one and had decided to add a large carrot penis to the lower half, complete with two coal shaped balls.

“My snowman is hung like a horse,” Will laughed. You couldn’t help the laugh that burst out of you. The rest of his cookies were definitely not up to his standard. They looked closer to something Frankie would decorate. The guys looked at his work.

“You feeling ok?” Santi asked him.

“I feel great!” He said happily. “This was such a good idea!” He looked around at the cookies that still needed to be decorated. “Is there a Santa shaped one? I wanna make him getting a blow job from Mrs. Claus.”

“Oh Jesus,” you groaned.

“Is he drunk?” Frankie asked.

“I may have been pouring him doubles…and triples in his eggnog,” you confessed. Frankie sighed heavily. “I just wanted him relaxed for this! He’s always such a perfectionist, and I wanted him to have fun…I didn’t think he’d get this drunk. He usually holds his liquor really well.”

“Oh! The head came off this reindeer!” Will shouted. “I’m gonna make it look like a crime scene!” Benny was practically falling off his chair laughing. You carefully pulled the glass of eggnog away from Will while he was busy spreading red icing all over the reindeer to look like blood.

“I’m cutting him off,” you told the guys and pointed to the eggnog.

“Good idea,” Santi agreed. Frankie was watching Will before he turned to you.

“You know this means no sex with him tonight,” he told you.

“What the fuck,” you cursed angrily. “I didn’t think this through.”

“Just fuck Frankie,” Benny chimed in. “Isn’t that the point of two boyfriends? 24/7 dick on tap?”

“Wow, Benny, you’re so romantic,” Frankie said with an eye roll.

“What? Like you’re not gonna fuck her tonight?” Benny asked defensively.

“Not having this conversation with you, Benjamin,” Frankie said shaking his head.

“You might want to move some of those cookies away from him unless you want them all to be ridiculous,” Santi warned. Will had already grabbed three more to add to his Christmas crime scene. Oh, and there was one with Santa getting a blow job from an elf. You shook your head and moved the tray of undecorated cookies to the other side of the table. Will was all laughs and smiles, and you couldn’t feel too bad about getting him drunk. This was the most fun you’d seen him have in a long time.

Day 18

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[ofermod]

Can we talk about Tom Bombadil and Pony Capitalism?

Bill Ferny’s price was twelve silver pennies; and that was indeed at least three times the pony’s value in those parts. It proved to be a bony, underfed, and dispirited animal; but it did not look like dying just yet. Mr. Butterbur paid for it himself, and offered Merry another eighteen pence as some compensation for the lost animals. He was an honest man, and well-off as things were reckoned in Bree; but thirty silver pennies was a sore blow to him, and being cheated by Bill Ferny made it harder to bear. As a matter of fact he came out on the right side in the end. It turned out later that only one horse had been actually stolen. The others had been driven off, or had bolted in terror, and were found wandering in different corners of the Bree-land. Merry’s ponies had escaped altogether, and eventually (having a good deal of sense) they made their way to the Downs in search of Fatty Lumpkin. So they came under the care of Tom Bombadil for a while, and were well-off. But when news of the events at Bree came to Tom’s ears, he sent them to Mr. Butterbur, who thus got five good beasts at a very fair price. They had to work harder in Bree, but Bob treated them well; so on the whole they were lucky: they missed a dark and dangerous journey. But they never came to Rivendell.

So listen. There's a few things going on here, and they're all confusing. Did Tom sell the ponies back to Butterbur? If so, what did he do with the cold hard cash? Use it to buy Yuletide presents for Farmer Maggot? Does Santa Claus come from Farmer Maggot's stories of Tom Bombadil, but he changed the jacket colour? Alternately: Does "send" mean just that--and the "fair price" refers to what Butterbur had already paid--and that a string of ponies just showed up one day at the Inn, possibly with a handwritten note saying "FREE TO A GOOD HOME" or "REJOICE PONIES BE UPON YE"?

And what kind of work do they do? "They had to work harder in Bree"--Butterbur RUNS AN INN. What kind of manual labour do ponies do AT AN INN? These aren't Beorn's horses, who set tables. These are just generic ponies! Are they kept just for taking drunk hobbit guests (who have not arranged for rooms) back to their homes?

Also the part where "Yes, missing a dangerous journey is a good thing, but man did those Ponies miss out on visiting an elf-house." What goes on at Rivendell that it's such a high-profile Pony destination?

Listen, these are all very important questions.

[spurgie-cousin]

Frosty has a pipe but Mrs. Claus can’t light a cigarette? Can’t have equality even in Christmas I guess.

(Also real talk that 7 year old will probably have forgotten about it in a week anyway)

god forbid women do anything

i'm no expert on Christmas Magic but i've seen pictures of some of the mall Santas my mom took us to visit, and if the stained outfits and fake beards didn't ruin everything for me, i think the kid will be ok seeing Mrs. Clause take a smoke break. that mom is very Like That though, very millennial Karen vibes.

also i read about a rented Santa who showed up to a kids party drunk and was supposed to hand out presents. but he forgot to bring them so he like, grabbed a bunch of canned goods and started giving the kids baked beans and Campbell's lol.

and the parents were understandably mad bc this Santa in particular was expensive for some reason. which yea you don't want to have a drunk stranger at a kids party sure, but also part of me is like, kids aren't going to remember every generic Santa they see in their lives. but i bet those kids will thoroughly enjoy telling the Drunk Santa with Beans story as they get older lol, now *that's* a memory.

[clockwrkcabaret]

Episode 774: Originally Aired on Mad Wasp Radio, 12.22.24

WARNING! This show is for adults. We drink cocktails, have potty mouths and, at least, one of us was raised by wolves.

The Clockwork Cabaret is a production of Agony Aunt Studios. Featuring that darling DJ Duo, Lady Attercop and Emmett Davenport. Our theme music is made especially for us by Kyle O’Door.

This episode aired on Mad Wasp Radio, 12.22.24.

New episodes air on Mad Wasp Radio on Sundays @ 12pm GMT! Listen at www.madwaspradio.com or via TuneIn radio app!

Playlist:

Scythian – Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silent

The Pogues – Fairytale of New York (feat. Kirsty MacColl)

Puddles Pity Party Do You Hear What I Hear?

Insomniac Folklore – O Come Let Us Adore Him

Black Tape for a Blue Girl – Chanukkah, Oh Chanukkah

Walter Sickert & The Army of Broken Toys – Squidmas Don’t be Late

Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats – Santa Baby

Stephen Colbert & John Legend – Nutmeg

The Puppini Sisters – Last Christmas

Charming Disaster – Longest Night of the Year

The Decemberists – Please Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas)

April Smith and the Great Picture Show – Christmas Threw Up All Over You

Arlo Guthrie – The Pause of Mr. Claus

Squirrel Nut Zippers – Santa Claus is Smokin’ Reefer

Murder By Death – Let’s Get Tight

Neko Case – Christmas Card from a Hooker In Minneapolis

Ana Gasteyer – Sugar and Booze

Christina Chong – Fck U 4 Xmas

Crash Test Dummies – God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

Fred Schneider & the Superions – Fruitcake

Asylum Street Spankers – Trim Your Tree

The Hellblinki Sextet – Buy Me Stuff for Christmas

Fable Cry – Kidnap the Sandy Claws

Mojo Nixon & The Toadliquors – Sleigh Ride

Thurl Ravenscroft – You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

Porn Orchard – This Holiday Season

“Weird Al” Yankovic – The Night Santa Went Crazy

GUPPY – A Jew on Christmas

Fountains Of Wayne – I Want an Alien for Christmas

Ray Stevens – Santa Claus is Watching You

Check out this episode!

[ntls-24722]

Hey hi were you the one I saw a while back that had the Santa hyperfixation? You got a lotta Santa lore?

THAT WAS ME. HI

I have my own spin on him but some actual santa stuff i found out, if you're curious:

Father Christmas and Santa Claus are... two different things sorta. The way it went is that Father Christmas's deal is that he is the embodiment of christmas, and Christmas used to be a lot different in England, when it was about getting drunk, getting laid, and feasting - He was this "king of christmas" guy who carried around the yule log, had a crown of holly, and a wassail bowl (bowl of alcohol and spices). But Christmas eventually became about the gift-giving and stuff, and Santa Claus (the U.S-divergent Sinterklaas) did a way better job at being the embodiment of that than the "king of christmas", so Father Christmas became Santa Claus to change with the times. Most sources i found on this called it the "merging" of father christmas into Santa, but I personally like to think there are now just 2, near-identical santas.

Also, contrary to some belief, Father Christmas (and therefore santa) isn't Odin. English Christmas just stole a lot of shit from germanic pagan traditions that was reflected in Mr. "Embodiment of English Christmas."

And on that same note, the reindeer didn't come from Sleipnir - Various species of "Santas," as in, gift-givers of wintertime like Pere Noël and that bitch Sinterklaas, just generally have their own kinds of steeds and the one that became the most well known were a "whole lotta reindeer" when Sinterklaas came to the U.S and became Santa Claus. There's actually a Cajun subspecies of Pere Noël named Papa Noël who has 8 alligators towing his boat, which is the best thing I've ever heard, ever.

I truly don't know where the elf workshop thing came from, it may have just been an inference that he had some helpers the same way a poet inferred he had a wife and now Mrs.Claus is a canon part of Santa Claus folklore - but I can tell you santa used to be an elf! He used to be an elf with tiny tiny reindeer, but the thing is, when you draw a small person with nothing next to them for scale, they just look regular size, so people forgot about that. So Santa as we know him went from human to elf to human again.

[ao3feed-narlie]

Santa Baby

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/3W0vGnH by aprms Charlie is suffering through yet another work Christmas party, sick of his life and desperate for Secret Santa to be over. Enter Nick Nelson, dressed as an extremely unexpected fantasy of his that he’s only just now discovered: the big bearded man himself. An unserious, kinda cracky, smutty Christmas one-shot. Words: 5575, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Heartstopper (Webcomic), Heartstopper (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper), Original Characters Relationships: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson/Charles "Charlie" Spring Additional Tags: Scrooge!Charlie, Santa!Nick, Office Christmas Party, Secret Santa, Alcohol, Unrealistic Sex, Drunk Sex, everyone is drunk, and some people are horny, is it even a work christmas party if HR isn’t having a panic attack, Somebody call Linda, Body Appreciation, Smut, Semi-Public Sex, Charlie wants to be on Saint Nick’s naughty list, Christmas, Christmas Puns, I apologise to Santa and Mrs Claus and everyone else who takes Christmas seriously, Perms pulled a Christmas Crack-er and this fell out read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/3W0vGnH

[oicuperp]

things that made mr happy today

- watvhed some shows with my sister and had a yummy breakfast🤤🤤

- my older sister made smth weird for lunch it was good and had a lot of cheese hehe i love cheese

- chilled super hard watching some youtube videos and doodling a bit

- had a nice dinnar with my family hehe my dad organised a huge chicken war (im sleeoy im not explaining it) and i almost chocked eating the grapes but hehe I ALSO WON 2 KAHOOTS (out of 3) one of them was made by my uncle and the questions were sbout our family it was very silly and i won yipppeee

- WORE MY SILLY MOUSTACHE SEPTUM AND MY SILLY CHRISTMAS SHIRT AND SOME CHRISTMAS EARRINGS AND ALSO A SANTA CLAUS HAT THAT WAS SUPERDUPER POINTY HEEHEHHEHE

- got a bit drunk and played league of legends for an hour with m friend👍

SONG OF THE DAY

[mino-diabolik]

🎄 Mrs. Claus has arrived!

She may or may not have forgotten to tell some people —like Mystic, precisely— about her new job of sorts, so hopefully it won't come off as too much of a shock when he finds a festive Scarlett sitting alone in his room, leg-crossed on an armchair right next to the chimney. Symbolic, of course, the open window to the balcony was a much more reasonable explanation as to how she got there...

But Christmas worked in mysterious ways. 

“Mystic, Mystic…” She sing-sang as soon as her friend came into the room, swinging one of her legs, amused, “someone got a little too many misdeeds this year, didn’t he…?”

Oh, Heavens. Mystic seemed to have ended up on the naughty list… what of all was it? His endless recklessness, the multiple heart attacks he could have given her (if she had a beating heart)? Not like he hadn’t done any good, but… 

Well, the red bag at her feet was still hiding something within.

“Be glad it’s just me, and not the other incompetent… Mr. Claus would have let you go with a slap on the wrist. Fufu, oh, well… I'm in a good mood, so tell me... What would you say was the worst thing you have done this year to end up here? I’ll let you choose, self-awareness if good enough for me to give you a gift... but I cannot let your sins go unpunished.” 

It was funny, actually. The way Mystic had staggered into his room still covered in the filth of his work; dried blood splattering his handsome traits. And to make matters worse, in his hand, he carried a half-emptied bottle; the golden richness of the whiskey swishing about with his movements.

Mrs. Claus was surely asking him to confess for her own amusement, right?

Mystic felt as though he was being chastised, but rather than growing annoyed, he felt slightly flustered. He thought he was being sneaky, but his attempt at hiding the bottle behind him were not subtle at all.

“Oh, woe is me.” The Founder sighed. Quite frankly, he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to react.

Why in the seven rings of Hell was Scarlett playing the role of Claus? Perhaps he had missed a passing fact she had mentioned previously.

Defeated, the Founder placed the bottle over a nearby nightstand, then approached the side of his bed. He spun around once, then plopped down over the mattress. It wasn’t entirely clear whether he was drunk or simply exhausted.

“I’m sure you know very well what I’ve been up to, yeah?” Mystic tilted his head back over the edge of the mattress. “I can’t even remember everything I’ve done this last couple of months. Doesn’t surprise me I’ve landed myself a slot in the naughty list, though. But I’d be lyin’ if I said I didn’t want a gift of my own this season.”

A wide grin spread across his lips. “Now tell me, Mrs. Claus: What do I gotta do to have my sins forgiven?”

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1158: New Donk Morning Parade (Super Smash Bros Ultimate)

9:24 a.m. at the Sidewalks of New Donk City.........

It was a bright, lively day in New Donk City as everyone gathered around to watch over this year's Christmas Parade. And what better way to start the celebration of then with.......

'Soft Piano Playing'

Guy Dressed in a Bowser Costume: (Singing While Playing on the Piano on a Float) Peach, you're so cool~ And with my star, we're gonna rule~ Peeeach!~

Chorus: Peach~

Guy Dressed in a Bowser Costume: Please understand!~ I'M GONNA LOVE YOU TO THE VERY END!~

Bowser: (Scoffs Before Turning at His Villains Peers) You guys are hearing this? (Turns Back at the Performance) I can sing that piece MILES better than those posters up there can!

Hades: Really? (Forms an Evil Smirk on his Face) Your last singing performance seems to prove otherwise.

Bowser: It was three years and I was completely wasted that night, so that obviously doesn't count, Hades!

Sephiroth: Drunk or not, your pianist skill is hardly much to be desired in retrospect.

Pichu: (Nodded in Agreement) Pi.

Bowser: (Turns to the Father-Son Duo) That's only cuz I've been rusty for what? A near decade now? (Crosses his Arms While Putting on a Cocky Smirk.on his Face) I was a pretty one hell of a prodigy back then. Check it!

Bowser shows the trio a video of himself playing the piano at a very young age on his phone.

Baby Bowser: (Playing thePhone. Piano Off Key) DA DA DA DA DADADAAAA! DA DA DA DA DAAAADAAA!

Kamek: (Shed a Tear From his Eyes as He Watches the Young King Koopa's Performance) ('Sniff') My darling little king is a prodigy of the making......I'm so proud!~

Pichu: (Looks in Disgust at the Video in Front of Him) Pi....chu....

Hades: (Already Has a Deadpinned Look on his Face) Yeah, you were a really prodigy alright. Of pure delusional.

Sephiroth: (Simply Shrugs) I've heard worse.

...................................................................................

"Santa": (Sitting on his Red Sledge with Mrs Claus, Waving at Everyone Around) HO HO HO! MERRRRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!~

Sage: (Standing next to Bowser Jr While Watching the Parade in her Hologram Form) So this is what Santa Claus look like, Junior?

Jr: Yep. The big, jolly, fatman himself. A legend among all the boys and girls from across the globe. (Turns to Sage) He's gonna be at mall all month, so we'll probably go he see at some point.

Sage: (Smiles Softly) That sounds fun. (Sighs While Letting Out a Sigh) It's a shame I couldn't physically join you all on this wonderful experience this year.

Jr: Hey, your family comes first, right? There's no need to feel bad about that. Besides, don'tcha guys still have that huge project you still have to finish?

Sage: (Simply Nodded) For the most part. The Homemade Ice Cream Maker is approximately 52,6% in completion, so there's much more work to be thoroughly done. (Smiles Softly) Regardless, that it in of itself, won't ever stop me from missing you dearly, Junior.

Junior: (Immediately Starts Blushing) O-Oh! Well, I'm uh......already missing you already, Sage.....So does everyone else in the Smash Family......

Sage: (Giggles Softly) I can tell~ Your attempts at holding my holographic hands is evidence of that.

Jr: (Looks Down at his Hand Before Quickly Moving it Away From the Hologram) What handing hold? I just feel the need to grab something is all.....

................................................................................

Roy: (Watching Sage Giggling at an Already Flustered Junior in the Distance) ('Tch') Look at 'em. Tryin' to be all cutesy with one another....(Cross his Arms) Gonna be a matter of time before those two start becoming certified lovebirds.

Ludwig: (Too Busy Reading the New Donk City's Guide Book) And yet here you are with little to no one to romanticize.

Kumatora: (Shrugs) Not too surprising really.

Roy: (Glares at the Couple Beside Him) Can it, nimberons! I can get any chick anytime I want whenever I feel like it!

Kumatora: Uh-huh.

Ludwig: (Casually Turns the Page) Highly doubt it, but good for you I suppose.

Roy: Oh screw the both you!

Maria: (Smiles Brightly) I don't think I could ever comprehend how breathtaking these parades are.

Alucard: I've seen more entertaining attractions in my younger years really. But I suppose this.....parade you all speak isn't too bad.

Roy: (Turns to Alucard with his Signature Cocky Smirk of his Face) What's the matter, old man? Afraid of getting out of your comfort zone?

Alucard: (Rolls his Eyes) Far from it. I'm only experiencing the moderation of what this generation has to offer. Which is more than I say about you sulking over having no romantic partner.

Roy: (Starts Letting Out a Offened Chuckle) I'm sorry, was that a remark you made towards me just now?

Alucard: I wouldn't say it was a remark per say. I just happen to noticed a blatant insecurity and felt the need to call it out as it is.

Roy: (Starta Chuckling) Blatant insecurity, huh? Alright. We'll see who's insecure.....(Glares at the Vampire) After I beat your ass in a game of Arm Wrestling!

Ludwig: (Abruptly Closes his Book Before Turning Towards his Brother) What?

Kumatora: (Raises an Eyebrow in Confusion) Huh?

Maria: (Places her Hand on her Lips in Genuine Surprise) Oh!

Alucard: Pardon?

Roy: You heard me! I challenge you to one on one arm wrestle! Winner gets bragging on all accounts!

Ludwig: Roy, have you ACTUALLY lost your mind right now!? This is Master Alucard you are challenging!

Roy: (Turns to Ludwig) AND!? I ain't scare of an old timer like him!

Kumatora: I dunno, ypu should he. 'Heard he's a real tough cookie to crack.

Maria: The toughest cookie I've ever known and love.

Roy: A cookie I'mma bout to crack! (Pounds his Fist to the Palm of his Hands)

Ludwig: (Turns to his Girlfriend and Master) Kuma, grandmother, I'm imporing you to stop encouraging him even further!

Kuma: Luddy, it's fin-Wait. Grandmother?

Ludwig: (Eyes Widened at the Realization of What he Just Said) N-No! I-It's Ms! Ms. Maria I meant to say! N-Nothing else besides that.

Roy: ('Scoffs') Liar.

Maria: (Heart Begins to Melt in Pure Happiness as She Pulls Ludwig into a Loving Hug) Oh my dear, Luddy, I'd be honored to play the role of your Grandmommy~

Ludwig: I-I mean......(Starts Blushing) You don't have to....

Kuma: (Giggles Softly) Awww~ Congrats, babe!~ You just got yourself a grandma to look after!~

Alucard: Is that right? I suppose that makes me a grandfather then?

Ludwig: Master please.....

Roy: (Start Rolling his Eyes) ANYWAYS....(Turns Back To Alucard) Does my request still stands, geezer?

Alucard: ('Sigh') Very well. I accept your challenge. But can we at least do this on a later date? I'm currently enjoying my vacation with mi'lady and our faithful grandson.

Ludwig: (Glares at his Gran- Master) Okay, now you're just doing that on purpose!

Roy: ('Sigh') Aight, fine. We'll do once it's all over and we're back home. Good? Good. (Pulls his Habd Out) Now let's shake on it.

Alucard sighs once more as he reluctantly shakes on Roy's hand, awaiting for his so called challenge. In the near future.

....................................................................................

Diddy: ('Sigh') This is getting ridiculous, big guy. You can't keep wearing that every time you're out in public! You have better clothes to wear back the room.

DK: (Sighs While Wearing a Trench Coat, Hat, and Shades) Yeah, but I don't wanna be given death glares all day! They're reminding me way too much of Wrinkly's glare......

Diddy: (Starts Shivering at the Thought in Particular) Don't remind me.....Those eyes of her could even make Cranky curl up in fear......(Eyes Begins to Widened at Something that Catches his Attention) Hey, DK! This a look at this! (Points at a Float Rolling by of the Original DK Beating on his Chest in Pixelated Form)

DK: (Lowers his Shades Down to see the Float In Question) Hm. That's a pretty good looking float.

Diddy: Right? It's pretty and detailed....It's still crazy for me believe that Cranky used to look like this all those years ago.

DK: (Slowly Shakes his Head) Poor old man must've REALLY let himself go after those glory days ended.......

Diddy: (Shrugs) I can believe that. It would probably explains why he's so bitter and cranky all the time. (Turns Back to DK) Say, you think he'll like some souvenirs?

............................................................

'Horns Playing'

Pauline: (Singing While Riding On her Christmas Float Along with Bandmates) It's time to Jump Up in the air!~ Jump Up, don't be scared!~ Jump up and cares will spar awayyyyy!~

Peach: (Watches the Performance Driving by While Letting Out a Heavy Sigh)

?????: Peach?

Peach: (Immediately Comes Back to Reality) Ah! Um....(Clears her Throat Before Looking Down at Mario) Y-Yes, Mario?

Mario: Sorry for startling you for there. You looked like you were out if it minute there. Is everything okay?

Peach: (Giggles a Bit as She Hugs Onto Mario From Behind) You worry too much, dear~ I'm okay, honest! I was too busy listening to the song Pauline was performing is all.

Mario: (Smiles Brightly) You like it? She wrote for me as thanks for helping her and city out in the past, even went as far as to throw me a huge concert afterwards

Peach: Oooh~ That must've really exciting for you.

Mario: (Smiles Sheepishly) It was more surprising if anything. But I had a great time regardless.

Peach: I'm so glad you did. It seems like a more remarkable reward than some cake.

Mario: (Starts Shaking his hand a Bit) Ehhh.....I think concerts are fine and all, but I prefer receiving cakes more if anything.

Peach: (Eyes Starts Sparkling in Happiness) Even mines?~

Mario: (Chuckles Lightly) Yes, dear~ Especially yours~ You're a wonderful cook. (Kiss the Top of Peach's Hand)

Peach: (Happily Rocks Mario From Side to Side a Bit) Ohh you sweetheart of a plumber, I'm flattered!~ Thank you!~ (Forms a Proud Smile on her Face) (HA! Score one for the princess back home, Mayor!)

Zelda: (Staring at The Couple in the Mid Distance While Standing Next to Mewtwo) Wow. You were not kidding when you said she's jealous fueled

Mewtwo: (Simply Shrugs While his Arms is Crossed) Not surprising really. Her expressions alone were too easy to read.

Zelda: Yeah. Kinda like a certain Legendary Pokémon I know. (Turns to Mewtwo with a Raised an Eyebrow)

Mewtwo: (Turns Away) You're going still on about that?

Zelda: Kinda hard for me not to when you tried to find out what I'm getting you this year with your mind reading shenanigans.

Mewtwo: (Starts Blushing).......Teaching you psychic manipulation was a mistake.

Zelda: Uh-huh sure. Just wait until Christmas morning like everyone else, okay Mewwy? I promise it'll be worth the wait.

Mewtwo: (Pulls Out his Pinky) You solemnly swear?

Zelda: (Giggles Softly While Playfully Rolls her Eyes) Yes, I pinky swear. (Wraps her Pinky Around Mewtwo's) You cute goof~

Mewtwo: Not cute. But also thank you.

@cyber-wildcat

@ma-lemons

@albion-93

@theweebmaster31

[justafoxhound]

WIP whenever

tagged by @dirty-bosmer to share a wip🤗

Today I was inspired by my current fo3 game where i've hired jericho. What if Talia hired him to help her make the trip to Tenpenny Tower?(Honestly i feels like this could be a major edit to Atomic Smitten..!)

tagging @jentucker (you wanted this!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Kid, I didn’t sign on with you to play fuckin’ Santa Claus out here.”

Talia could feel the eyes on her back as she stormed ahead of her companion, leaving the thirsty beggar in the humming Megaton dirt.

“You pull any of that shit again and I’m gone.”

Talia stopped in her tracks and turned about to face the man yelling after her. “Excuse me?”

“You fuckin’ heard me,” he barked, jabbing the air with the bottle of purified water he’d just yanked from the beggar’s grasp. “In fact, if you’re gonna make me repeat myself like you’re some fuckin’ moron, I’m outta here as well.”

Talia blinked in astonishment. “I- Jesus Christ, are you for real? I paid you didn’t I? You’re gonna bail over a sip of water?”

His permanent scowl grew harsher. “Listen, you stuck up Vault bitch. You only paid me half. You fuck around givin’ away useful stuff like this, waste my time, bore me, and I’ll take my half back to Moriarty’s right fuckin’ now. Got no problem getting drunk instead of babysittin’ you.”

Talia’s stomach lurched. “You’ll get your other half. I promised, didn’t I? Jericho, come on.” She urged him to continue with her away from town. She couldn’t make this trip alone. At least not now she’d given him every cap she had after begging Mr. Burke for an advance on the pay he promised on completion of his request. “The caps are yours, but we have to get to Tenpenny Tower to get paid.”

Jericho glared from a few paces away. “And if this turns out to be a fuckin’ merry-go-round? Whole thing’s fucked up. I hope you’ll still be feelin’ so charitable if we find out there’s nobody up there, ‘cause I’m gonna be real pissed.”

Talia stifled a shiver. This was almost definitely not a good idea. Maybe she could have taken her chances alone. But it was too late now. Plus, she’d seen the claw marks on one of the town’s brahmin. Not all of the Vault stories about mutants were exaggeration. “No, sir,” she declared. “There’s plenty of people there. And when I say this guy is expecting us, we’ll get straight in, I swear.” I hope.

Jericho sniffed and took a noisy swig from the water bottle. “Yeah? This guy, Burke, he for real?”

Talia nodded profusely. “He had five hundred caps in his pocket to give me. And he’s from Tenpenny Tower so surely he’s good for it, and he wants the job done.” She put up a convincing argument, partly to assure herself too. The well dressed visitor had offered her one thousand caps for a simple, if extreme, job. She wasn’t sure it wasn’t just his strange idea of a sick joke. People on the surface were different, and he wasn’t like anybody she’d encountered in this town.

Jericho seemed to finish his thought, losing the animal intensity that had briefly sharpened his gaze. “Yeah, I seen him around. Had plenty to spend around town every day. Alright, let’s get goin’ before I change my mind.”

Talia nodded and hurried to match her mercenary’s quick pace, albeit keeping well out of arm’s reach. The old, grizzled, wasteland tough guy hadn’t given her a second glance in Moriarty’s saloon. But she wondered if he hadn’t heard some of her conversation with Mr. Burke, because as soon as she approached him about work escorting her across the wasteland he’d hit her pretty quick with a steep price of exactly one thousand caps. He’d seemed pretty surprised when she actually ponied up half that.

She breathed a little easier once he’d walked more than a minute without complaining. She didn't doubt he’d walk away with her caps and leave her in more of a mess than she already was, so she resolved to try to keep quiet and just get to the tower. But if she had to coddle him to keep him happy, she would. She’d pinned all hope of living beyond a week on Mr. Burke’s outrageous offer, couldn’t back out, and she had to reach him first. He held all the baskets, and she only had one egg, and she’d given it to Jericho.

“The fuck you givin’ this away here for anyway? Won’t do him any good.” Jericho interrupted her thoughts, brandishing the water bottle.

“I was just gonna give him a sip. I thought I was gonna die of thirst when I got out the Vault.”

He sniffed. “I don’t get it.”

She didn’t try to explain. “Can I have it please?”

He tossed a glance her way. “No. Not to waste it on dead men.”

“I’m thirsty. Anyway, I swiped it from Moriarty fair and square.”

“No shit? I thought this was Vault water. That fucker holds all the best stuff back. What was he chargin’?”

“Um, like, thirty caps?”

Jericho snorted. “Man, robbery without gettin’ off your ass. He don’t bother get his hands dirty. It’s gotta get boring though, if you ask me. You get anything stronger?”

Talia shook her head uncertainly, mumbling an apology.

“Shit.” Jericho tossed the water her way. “First bottle of booze you see is mine.”

She agreed, muffling her sigh of relief at catching the water without stumbling. It was going to be a long walk.