#e. y. Washington

[odettecarotte]

Pride is a Dangerous Word: And Other Thoughts on Action, Passion, and Imagination

by E.Y. Washington

1. If your queerness isn’t a call to action, is it even queerness at all?

2. Impelled by a sense of difference and driven by a desire to escape, you venture toward vibrant alternatives and embrace their uncanny consequences.

3. Without warning, you emerged from the magnitude of a strange inheritance that blooms with variety, fragrance, color, and contradiction. This utopia floating down the street is your heritage.

4. No.

5. Pride is a dangerous word.

6. Eden is already here. Didn’t they tell you? Queer sexuality is a living, breathing garden. It runs between your legs, beats inside your ribcage, and rests between your ears. Who will tend and defend it?

7. Y-o-u.

8. At the behest of the sacred and insistence of the profane, you are responsible for keeping this complicated oasis safe.

9. Wake up, sweet one. There are wings on your back and a sword in your hand for a reason.

10. Didn’t a poet say the sword is aflame for you?

11. Beloved, you are cherubim, guarding the path to life, knowledge, good, and evil.

12. Where Adam and Eve failed, you will succeed.

13. Don’t doubt the power of your resolve. Call it flimsy in comparison to your forebears and risk cursing the very thing you’re trying to bless. "When my brother fell,” poet Essex Hemphill wrote, “I picked up his weapons / I didn’t question / whether I could aim / or be as precise as he / a needle and thread / were not among / his things / I found.” Aim with words, shoot with actions. Leave your sewing for leisure.

14. The poet’s name is Agha Shahid Ali.

15. Your marching orders come from your forebears. Suspect memorialization, they might say, it’s merely an invitation to mollify.

16. Then deify.

17. Mollification quells anger, deification quells action.

18. As beautiful as it seems, memorialization can’t save the living or bring back the dead. Fighting, at least, ensures the former. Artistic intervention mimics the latter.

19. Even now, you find Hemphill’s commentary on AIDS all too relevant. He could have written it yesterday; you could have read it today. “It’s too soon,” he wrote, “to make monuments / for all we are losing, / for lack of truth / as to why we are dying, / who wants us dead, / what purpose does it serve?” By killing you legally and illegally, your murderers reify a lie: Queer realities don’t exist, queer realities can’t survive.

20. And yet, through hell and high water, here you fucking are.

21. Please don’t let words like paradise, Eden, and utopia fool you. Loss and its consequences are your inheritance, too. Frankly, “our loss,” Hemphill wrote, “is greater than all the space we fill with prayers and praise.” Your therapist wonders how you have been seasoned by loss and Christianity. You tell them Jesus is walking on the water; You tell them He’s taking you home.

22. Honestly, loss is like a sanctuary; grief makes you holy.

23. Somewhere between back then and right now, you thought lust was enough to satiate you. Lust isn’t enough to absolve you from the systemic oppression of it all.

24. Listen, baby. “[T]he simple spilling of seed,” Essex wrote, “would not be enough to bind us.” Erections won’t keep the garden together. It needs action, imagination, and passion to flourish and thrive. We have a sword in our hand for a reason.

25. Joy makes you holy, too.

26. How to legitimize queerness? Fuck if I know. Try this?

27. Stay in tune with your sense of difference and entertain your desire to escape. Together, they agitate you until you come into more agreeable ways of being and knowing.

28. What is being and what is knowing if not another queer inheritance?

[ruewrote]

𝑠𝑎𝑓𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑.

PAIRING: josh washington x fem!reader WARNINGS: injured reader, no use of y/n GENRE: angsty fluff SONG INSPIRATION: mt. washington by local natives WORD COUNT: 1.5k REQUESTED: yes

navigation | ask | josh washington masterlist

josh trudged through the dense underbrush, his flashlight slicing through the dim, grey shadows. every so often, he shouted out yours and his sister's names, hoping for a response, but the forest only echoed back with silence. 

the deeper he went, the more his worry settled in. then, just as he was beginning to fear the worst, his beam caught something, a flash of fabric among the undergrowth.

he froze, heart pounding as he approached. there you were, slumped against the base of a tree, dirt smudged across your face, scratches lining your arms and legs, one ankle swollen and bruised. blood had dried along a cut on your temple, evidence of a rough fall.

panic tightened his throat as he knelt beside you, hands hovering, unsure where to touch without causing more pain.

“hey... hey, can you hear me?” his voice was a harsh whisper, trembling just enough to reveal his fear.

after a moment, you stirred, eyes fluttering open to meet his. relief washed over him as you managed a faint smile, but you winced, trying to push yourself up only to falter. “josh... sorry, i got lost,” you mumbled, the words barely audible.

without another word, josh slipped one arm behind your back and the other beneath your knees, gently lifting you into his arms. the concern etched into his face softened just a bit as you instinctively leaned into him, adjusting his hold, trying to move without jostling you too much.

“hang on, alright? i’ve got you. you’re safe with me.” his voice was quiet, reassuring, even though he couldn’t quite keep the worry from his eyes.

each step back to the lodge was slow and steady, every crunch of leaves underfoot a reminder of just how close he’d come to losing you. as he carried you through the forest, his grip tightened just a little, as if making sure that you were properly secure in his arms.

josh could feel your breath, shallow and steady, as he navigated through the forest with you cradled close. every now and then, he glanced down to make sure you were still with him, reassuring himself you were still safe. the flashlight beam danced along the narrow trail, illuminating gnarled roots and low branches, shadows stretching and shifting with each step he took. the silence felt heavy, broken only by his quiet breaths and the rustle of leaves beneath his feet.

“josh,” you whispered weakly, drawing his gaze downward. “did... did you find the others?”

“not yet,” he murmured, his voice softened with the weight of his worry. “but we’re going to keep looking. first, we’re getting you back.”

you tried to protest, a flicker of stubbornness crossing your face as you shifted, only to wince at the sharp pain in your ankle. “i can walk... i just need a minute.”

“yeah, i don’t think so,” josh replied gently, his hold on you tightening slightly, as if he was afraid you’d slip away if he let you stand on your own. “don’t argue with me right now. just... let me do this, okay?”

you didn’t have the strength to argue back, and a sigh escaped you as you let yourself relax back into his arms. it was an odd sense of comfort, something you hadn’t expected in a moment filled with so much dread and uncertainty. despite the chill of the forest air, there was warmth where his hand rested on your shoulder, his arm steady and protective beneath you.

as you continued along the trail, the memories of the night weighed heavily between you two. his sisters disappearing into the storm, the frantic search, and the countless fears left unspoken. josh’s jaw clenched as he fought to keep himself composed, each step through the forest dragging up memories of the last time he’d felt this kind of fear, of losing someone close.

after a while, the lodge came into view, it's dark silhouette a welcome sight against the eerie quiet of the woods. the lights inside flickered softly, a beacon that felt both familiar and strange in the midst of the night’s turmoil. josh paused at the edge of the clearing, adjusting his grip on you as he looked down, a glimmer of exhaustion etched into his expression.

“we’re almost there,” he said, his voice a low murmur. “i’m going to take you inside, and... and then we’ll keep searching. the others will be okay.”

you nodded faintly, your eyelids heavy. he carried you up the last few steps, pushing open the lodge door with his shoulder, the warmth of the indoors a sharp contrast to the bitter cold outside. gently, he set you down on the couch, making sure you were comfortable before stepping back slightly, reluctant to let go entirely.

josh crouched down beside you, one hand brushing a stray leaf from your hair. his gaze softened, the intensity of his worry giving way to something quieter, almost tender. “i’ll get you some water, okay? and a first aid kit.”

before you could respond, he stood and disappeared down the hall. moments later, he returned with a bottle of water and the kit, kneeling beside you as he twisted off the cap and handed the bottle over. you took a grateful sip, feeling the coolness soothe your dry throat.

he watched you drink, his eyes tracking each movement as if reassuring himself that you were alright, that you’d really made it back. “this’ll sting a little,” he said as he carefully dabbed at the cut on your forehead with antiseptic, his touch gentler than you’d expected.

you flinched slightly, more from the intensity of his focus than the sting of the antiseptic, and he immediately lightened his touch. “sorry,” he murmured, his brow furrowing as he finished cleaning the wound and taped a small bandage over it.

“thanks, josh,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

a faint smile tugged at his lips. “you’re not getting rid of me that easily, alright?”

a silence settled between you, the weight of the night pressing down. josh stayed close, his hand still resting on the arm of the couch beside you, his thumb brushing lightly over the fabric as if grounding himself.

“what... what if something happens to them?” you asked, the question slipping out before you could stop it, your voice trembling with the fear that had been building all night.

he looked down, swallowing hard. “we’ll find them. we’ll bring them back. all of us.” his gaze lifted, meeting yours with an intensity that seemed to anchor you.

you nodded, feeling the reassurance in his words. exhaustion tugged at you, and despite everything, your eyelids grew heavier, the warmth of the lodge and the comfort of josh’s presence slowly lulling you into a state of calm.

the vulnerability in his words sent a flutter through your chest. “i’m sorry,” you whispered, reaching out to rest your hand on his, feeling the warmth of his skin against yours.

for a moment, he stilled, his gaze shifting to your hand on his. the tension between you was thick, but neither of you pulled away. slowly, almost hesitantly, he curled his fingers around yours, his thumb tracing gentle circles on your knuckles.

“please don’t apologise,” he murmured, his voice barely audible. “just... promise me you won’t scare me like that again.”

your eyes met his, and the intensity in his gaze was enough to steal your breath. “i’ll do my best,” you replied softly, a small smile breaking through.

his hand lingered on yours, the touch a quiet reassurance that neither of you could ignore. when he finally let go, it felt like a certain loss that you both felt. he cleared his throat, shifting to pack away the first aid kit.

“you need anything else?” he asked, his voice gentle. “a blanket, maybe?”

you shook your head. “no, i’m... i’m okay, now that you’re here.”

a small, almost shy smile crossed his face at your words. he moved to sit beside you, closer than before, the warmth of his shoulder brushing against yours. for a moment, he hesitated, then gently wrapped an arm around you, drawing you closer. you let your head rest against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your cheek, its rhythm a comforting lull.

“josh?” you murmured, your voice soft.

“yeah?”

“thank you. for coming to find me. for... everything.”

he tilted his head down, his gaze tender as he looked at you. “i’d do it a thousand times over if it meant you were safe.”

your fingers intertwined with his, he leans down just a fraction closer. you feel his breath against your hair as his lips brushed your forehead in a gentle, lingering kiss, filled with quiet emotion and care.

you closed your eyes, wrapped in josh’s embrace, with the lodge walls shielding you from the vast, daunting forest outside, you felt a profound calm settle over you. his fingers traced gentle patterns along your hand, a silent promise woven into each soft stroke. outside, the forest remained dark and restless, but here, in his arms, you knew you were safe. 

and for now, that was all you needed.

comments and reblogs are appreciated ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

© ruewrote 2024.

[everlastingephemera]

the monkey-sphere | Spencer Reid

— or the one where the ephemeral comfort of alcohol cannot possibly silence your demons the way that the constancy of Spencer’s affection for you can. [Spencer Reid x BAU fem!reader]

Word Count: 5K. Proof-read.

Content Warnings: ANGST + FLUFF (no, really). SECOND-PERSON POV. No use of Y/N. Mutual pining, idiots in love (not that they’d admit it), case details, slight gore, alcohol mention, a lot of self-deprecation, vague mentions of facial features but nothing too specific, light/darkness imagery, barely any dialogue because how the fuck are writers good at that part?, written with (pre-addiction) S2/Glasses!Spencer in mind. Let me know of anything else that should be mentioned.

Author's Note: Bit the bullet and decided to start posting my writing on Tumblr after a decade of trying to master the art of writing fanfiction because nothing can satisfy the Spencer Reid brainrot like this can. This is very self-indulgent and may actually not make a lot of sense, but honestly, I feel proud of it enough to make it my first post on here. Hopefully, someone else can enjoy it just as much as I do!

You didn’t mean to drink so much. 

Truth be told, you didn’t even want to be in a bar right now. Surrounded by music that was infinitely louder than your aching head could tolerate, people who were much too joyful for your liking. You were completely lost as to how the world kept spinning around, how life seemed to always go on, no matter what you’ve seen. No matter what you’ve known. It’s just what you were, you were always so lost.

But Penelope, ever so bright and charming, had insisted that a night out was exactly what the team needed after such a brutal case. It never failed to make you feel better, the lengths that she’d go to ensure that all of you managed to bounce back well enough after exceptionally tough cases. You appreciated the sentiment, were always grateful for her ability to make you smile and forget, to make you notice that the world could and did go on. Because of everything. Despite everything.

But it just wasn’t that easy all the time.

You guys had spent far too long this week examining headless corpses in rural Washington, chasing after an unsub who had managed to evade capture for more than a month. You deserved a break for being the good sports who brought him to justice. And while the team’s company had always managed to offer you that peace after such heavy cases, tonight felt different. 

You had been at this long enough (almost a year now) to understand that some cases would hit harder than others. Whether it was the amount or the force of violence you were faced with, or the inevitability of empathising with the victims and their families, some parts of this job would always haunt you more. It was just the way it had to be.

And so that’s what you blamed the amount of shots you had downed on — the way things had to be. Because you didn’t know what else to blame it on, you didn’t know just what made your heart keep sinking after the case had wrapped.

While anyone would argue that six headless male bodies were more than enough reason, you were afraid that it wasn’t as simple as that. After all, in less than a year with the BAU, you had seen worse, and if Hotch’s words on your first day were any indication of it — This job takes a lot out of all of us. You’ll need a solid support system to keep strong. You’ll see things that you could have never imagined possible. — then you were always going to see worse.

It wasn’t that, it wasn’t just that. So what was it?

With your arms folded in front of you, the strong aftertaste of tequila still burning in your throat, all your mind seemed to go back to was something that Spencer had shared on the flight out to Washington. While you were all looking through the case file, scanning the details and exchanging theories on the unsub’s motive and victimology, the population of the rural town had come into focus. Discussing the unavoidable connections existing in a town of less than 2,000 people, Spencer, in true Spencer-Reid fashion, had explained that it wasn’t necessarily like that. 

You could still hear his high-pitched, lively voice in your head, just like you could still picture the soft smile playing against his lips, and the enthusiasm that his tone was always laced with when he went off on one of his tangents.

There was a study conducted in the 1990s by British anthropologist Robin Dunbar in which a cognitive limit of close interpersonal relationships was suggested. He studied the brain size of primates, as well as their average group size, and then extrapolated his findings to propose that humans can comfortably maintain at most 150 stable relationships. Informally, he used the paradigm of the number of people you would not find it awkward to spend time with if you happen to casually bump into them to explain his study— 

It had turned out that the monkey-sphere, as Spencer had called it, referring to a later blog entry on the theory when you’d asked him more about it during your lunch break, actually had helped you in pinning down the unsub and his MO. In a broad sense, at least. The men that he had killed and beheaded were men that he saw as threats to his already deteriorating relationship with his ex-wife and estranged son. 

For all of the violence that you had so far encountered, you hadn’t become desensitised enough to mentally flinch at the lengths people would go to feel important. To ensure their place in someone’s life. Wasn’t that the curse of manhood? The need — the struggle — to resist change, to cling to any illusion of steadfastness? 

But nothing lasts forever, and everything changes without notice.

That’s what it was, you settled. The fear of being dispensable. The thought of not being good enough, not special enough, to be part of a statistic. Okay, not a statistic — someone’s statistic. Someone special’s statistic.

Someone like the man standing in front of you, with those hazel doe eyes, and that honey-like voice, and an innate gentleness unlike any you had ever known before.

You hadn’t realised you’d made it out of the bar, denying the otherwise friendly bartender’s offer for another couple of shots, until the rather frigid late-February DC air hit your face. 

You were fiddling with your phone inside your coat’s pocket, shifting your weight uncomfortably in a failed attempt to warm yourself up, rushing to send a text announcing your early departure Penelope’s way, when a familiar voice caught your attention.

“Sorry. Yeah, excuse me, I’m sorry—Hey!” You turned around once your name was called, coming face to face with none other than Spencer, who was exhaling heavily and dusting off his signature black coat from the heavy bar air still lingering on it.

“Spencer?” Your brow furrowed in confusion, a faint, rather tipsy smile present on your face as you watched him fix his glasses, “I thought you’d gone home already.”

“I—Yeah, I was going to, but then Morgan challenged me to play darts with him, and when I kept winning—“ Of course he did, you thought, head slightly tilted to the left as you tried to follow his every word, “—I had to come to the bar to get the drinks that he lost in the bet, that’s when I… when I, uh, saw you trying to leave, and…” 

He trailed off, his eyes squinting in that particular way they did when he was paying attention to something. Really paying attention to something. 

In your inebriated state, you didn’t have it in you to swoon over the fact that he was paying such close attention to you. Usually, the mere thought, let alone the knowledge that he could and did do that, was enough to get you flustered. 

“Huh?” You hummed, snapping back into focus, realising that not only had Spencer said something else, but that he was also standing closer to you now. Close enough for traces of his cologne to fill your senses — sandalwood and amber. Comfort and warmth. It had brought you close to tears more often than you’d like to think.

“I just asked you if you were feeling okay.”

His voice was soft as he gathered you, and despite how quiet it seemed compared to the sound of the music echoing through the bar’s walls and the much louder conversations of attendees hanging outside of it behind you two, it was all that you could focus on. All that was clear to you. 

Wasn’t it always like that? Hadn’t it been like that since the start? With gunshots fired, and law enforcement officers bickering, and even the simplest of conversations in the bullpen? 

The moment that Spencer spoke, all else faded away. 

God, you were screwed. You had made your peace with that.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m alright.”

“Are you sure? You seem a little out of it, you’ve drunk a lot tonight…”

There it was again. That gentleness which clawed at your insides and settled heavily across every fibre of your being. Sweet, sweet Spencer, who always seemed to care, who always made it known that he did. Could you ever be part of his monkey-sphere? Could you be special enough to remain part of it? 

“Mhm, yeah, I’m just… I’m just, you know—“ Scared. Terrified. Cold, cold, cold. Always so goddamn cold. “I’m just tired.” You settled, again, like you’d always learned to do.

His expression softened almost imperceptibly. He knew. You knew that he knew. Fuck, didn’t he always?

Feeling way more defenceless than you liked to be faced with his understanding, you averted your gaze from his, choosing to scan the closed shops lining the street aimlessly.

Until he spoke once more, anchoring you to the present moment, to his presence, and suggesting that you take the train home together.

“Wh—You live on a different line than I do.”

His smile only got bigger when he shrugged at your words, “I think that the longer transit might do me some good tonight. Uh, help me clear my head and all.”

You blinked up at him, pondering over his words silently. You didn’t have to, not really. You already knew that you didn’t want to decline his offer, just like he knew that he’d never be able to clear his head the way he so desperately wished he could. It didn’t mean that you both wouldn’t try, wouldn’t choose to fight against the constant, overwhelming current anyway.

“Are you sure? I mean, really, I’m alright, and you don’t have to—“

“No, I don’t have to,” He shook his head, gesturing to his right, towards the nearest metro station, “But I want to.”

And you didn’t say anything then, and you didn’t mind the gust of wind or the smoke of a passer-by’s cigarette hitting the side of your face as you turned to where Spencer’s pointing towards. Because he wanted to make sure you’re truly alright, even if it meant spending an extra half hour returning home tonight. Because in being the recipient of his gentleness, you started feeling less cold than you had since you faced that first headless corpse in rural Washington three days ago. Because right then, you were part of his monkey-sphere. He wanted you to be part of his monkey-sphere, and goodness, so did you. So did you.

And Spencer didn’t really mind that you weren’t your usual talkative self during the train ride to your apartment. He was always kind like that, sweet like that. Sure, he found it hard enough to remain silent for long periods of time, but that was only when silence felt hostile, something it never did with you. He also knew well enough that if he asked, you’d say it was because you were tired, which you obviously were, both of you were, but it wasn’t just that which clouded your features. 

So he stuck to comforting you the way that he usually found himself doing, by gravitating towards you. Standing between you and anyone else who might have tried getting too close to your hazy self in the (thankfully) sparsely-filled train, walking on the outer part of the sidewalk as you circled towards your apartment, tailing after you as you walked up the few stairs to your unit. Even by unlocking the door when he saw you fumbling with the wrong key twice.

It wasn’t the first time that Spencer had been to your apartment. He had found his way there before to drop off case files when you had called-in sick to work, had even spent a night curled up on your couch watching a film with you after a particularly bad case just so that neither of you would be alone. 

In a way, entering your personal space had always felt peaceful in a way that was impossible to deny. Maybe it was the bookcase filled to the brim with your favourite editions taking up most of the space of your living room’s corner. Maybe it was the few artworks lining the nearest wall to it, pieces that you had shared your love for to him before. Maybe it was the persisting scent of your burnt vanilla candles and the cluster of papers spread on the coffee table. Whatever it was, everything about it was so inherently you, and he was grateful for the intimacy that being around you, with you, in your home, came with.

Admittedly, he hadn’t noticed how lost inside his own head he’d got once again, standing by the entryway to your kitchen space. Not until he noticed your silhouette sneaking inside the bathroom on the opposite end of the hallway to his right, your shoes left behind messily.

Spencer didn’t really know if it’d be better to just leave right then and there. After all, you were both exhausted from an awful case, and you had barely even felt like talking to him on the way here. He knew how much you valued your personal space, wearing your solitude like a crown, and truly, he didn’t expect to get you to open up to him about whatever it was that had bothered you enough to drink so much.

But he was also your friend. 

Oh, that he was. 

He had been your friend for so long, since the very first day, it seemed, the connection between you instant and undeniable. 

Maybe it was the fact that no one had ever paid attention to him quite like you seemed to ever before, listening to his more-often-than-not burdened stream of consciousness and engaging in your own, special way. Maybe it was the fact that his heart seemed to skip several beats whenever you found yourself by his side, whenever you actively sought his company out, both at and outside of work. He’d not forgotten that one morning during one of your rare day offs when you’d made your way to his apartment, with books and baked goods, inviting yourself for an impromptu breakfast — Come on, doc, you’re not going to say no to me, are you? These donuts practically called to me, they’re yours, if I say so. As if he’d ever say no to your boldness and your brightness and the delicate way with which you’d announced yourself stepping inside his home. He was just glad you’d not found him as disheveled as he usually was most weekends off, hair unruly and mismatched pyjamas from his college days, a rare choice for comfort over looking smart, as you always put it.

It didn’t matter that Spencer had gradually, since you’ve found your way to the team and to his life, come to realise that he didn’t see you simply as a friend. Not at all. He knew better than to let it matter. He knew better than anyone what happened when you let such audacious feelings and thoughts matter. So, he swallowed it all down in the hopes that it wouldn’t one day spill everywhere and make a mess out of a good thing like you. So far, he was doing well enough.

That’s what he kept telling himself as he silently put your shoes away at the designated space by your front door, before taking off his coat and deciding to be the good friend that he was by making you a cup of your favourite tea. You’d need it, if your stifled yawns and your flinched expressions at every loud noise during your commute were any evidence of it. Skimming through your selection in your cupboard, he knew he was lucky enough to credit that eidetic memory of his for remembering everything he’d found out about your space during his scarce visits. He was a good sport like that, it helped to rationalise the fact that every detail about you was saved into an inventory that was named after you inside his mind. If it was up to him, he’d never run out of things to include there.

He’d only just finished stirring the hot water in your favourite mug when he heard a loud noise coming from down the hall where you must have been, making his way there perhaps a little too fast.

He lingered by the half-ajar door briefly for fear that he’d screw anything up if he just barged in. Until he spotted you sitting on the closed toilet seat, with your make-up bag half-empty down in front of you.

Your eyes were much too soft when you glanced up, finally noticing him. Half-embarrassed, a small groan slipped past your lips, but you didn’t make a move to grab the scattered things from the floor. “I, uh… dropped the bag by mistake.”

Spencer tried really hard to bite back the smile that was already creeping at his lips, “I can see that.”

A beat of silence passed before he had made up his mind, seeing you try to blink away the exhaustion from your eyes. He took a deep breath, not quite moving from his place by the doorway. “Why don’t you let me help you with that?”

“You would?”

Spencer didn’t respond to that, instead instantly moving to kneel in front of you. Fixing his glasses, he desperately tried to focus on putting everything back in your make-up bag and not on how your eyes were practically burning the side of his face. 

It wasn’t your fault, though. How could it be when he was inches apart from you, close enough for you to notice his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed hard, to feel the warmth of his breath hitting your face. From this close, hints of stubble were evident across his jawline, and you noticed the rim of his glasses was slightly crooked the way the knot of his tie was.

You snapped out of your trance when you saw him tip some of your make-up remover onto a cotton pad, and it suddenly felt like you couldn’t breathe. Surely, he wasn’t going to—oh.

You tried not to flinch when he pressed the cloth against the apple of your left cheek, but the contact was so soft, so barely-there, so feather-light, that your eyes fluttered shut without you realising it. “You don’t have to do that…”

“Well, it’s not good for you to sleep with make-up on. It doesn’t allow for your skin to breathe properly, and it can also cause breakouts.” Spencer frowned, wiping at the excess mascara under your eye.

“How worse can it make me look?”

He paused, not missing the cutting self-deprecation in your tone. It wasn’t unusual, he knew how often you resorted to bringing yourself down, even if it was unintentional. It was second nature for you. He didn’t like it one bit. “You know that I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Yeah, I know.” You opened your eyes then, a self-effacing smile plastered on your closed lips. Under the almost clinical white light of your bathroom, Spencer looked far warmer than you’d care to admit. You decided that you’d let him have his way being soft with you just this once. He was always so eager to help, even when there was nothing to help with, but you barely ever gave him the chance. Now, you needed it. And it had nothing to do with cleaning the traces of foundation and mascara staining the cotton pads in his hand. “Spencer?”

He hummed imploringly, immediately pausing his ministrations. He threw the used cotton pads in the bathroom bin, before returning his attention to you, not standing from his crouch despite the dull ache already present in his knee muscles.

“The theory that you talked about during the case… The, uh, statistic, the monkey-sphere…” You trailed off and he nodded, encouraging you as always, his closed fist ghosting the space near your thigh, “Am I a part of yours?”

If the question was silly after Spencer had already explained the theory to you, he at least had the decency not to hold it against you. Certainly not in your current state. Then again, he never would. He would gladly explain everything he could to anyone, take time to break down the intricacies of each topic happily, however long it took him. Especially with you — you who always listened, you who were always interested in him and what he had to say since the moment he met you. But there was a strange kind of comfort in the sight of your vulnerability, in seeing you strip yourself off of your usual armour, the constant fight or flight mode that you always seemed to be in since he first met you. There always had been. And so he welcomed it even more, despite the circumstances.

Spencer’s brow furrowed, the corners of his lips twitching faintly, “Yeah. You are, yeah.” His eyes searched yours, the frown on your lips confusing him, “Of course, you are. We literally work together.” The way you narrowed your eyes at him, as if his explanation was not good enough in the slightest, had him practically smiling. “We are friends, aren’t we?” 

You shrugged, visibly deflating under his ability to see right through you, but still unable to hide the gratitude you felt for it. “No, I know, yeah, I just…” Your right hand was millimetres apart from his closed fist. He didn’t try to move away. He secretly hoped that you wouldn’t, either. “But what if… What if time passes, and you end up meeting 150 new people, and then there’s no place left for me in your monkey-sphere anymore?”

Spencer tried not to chuckle, he really did, but your worrying, however impossibly sweet, was delightfully absurd. As if he could ever imagine a time where you wouldn’t be a part of his statistic, of his tight-knit group of cherished people, of the couple of souls that he wished to know as intimately as humanly possible. Truthfully, he couldn’t imagine a world where you weren’t at the very top of his list. Not that he could ever admit that to you, of course.

“Don’t laugh, that’s not nice!” You pouted, your tone gently admonishing.

“I’m sorry, I’m not—I didn’t—“ He shook his head, practically crooning at your half-hearted attempt to cover your growingly flustered face with your hand, “I just… Your faith in me that I could manage to form 150 new close relationships on top of ours is… uh, amusing, to say the least. I can promise you that won’t happen.”

The tiny yet mischievous smirk now playing against your lips was enough to alert him to the fact that you were about to put him on the spot for his choice of words. 

“We have a relationship?” And there it was, your wit making its return, your ability to always turn the tables on him, to make his admittedly fragile eloquence disappear.

”We—I mean, yeah? Not like, no, you know that I didn’t mean it like—“ 

You did, even in your tipsy state. It didn’t matter that being around him as long as you had this past year, getting to know him as much as you had, made you wish that he could ever mean it differently. You tried and tried and tried not to think about that. Women like you were never allowed to think about men like Spencer, they were never allowed to indulge in the wishful thinking of being enough in such a way. Of hoping that they could ever be enough.

You just liked messing with him. You stuck with that explanation. It worked for both of you, because truthfully, Spencer seemed to like it, too. Even if it left him a flustered, stuttering, but rather charming bespectacled mess, he didn’t seem to mind. Or if he did, he had never made a comment on it. Maybe because he knew that you would immediately spare his feelings, that you would be your ever-kind self and stop offering him your undivided attention more often than not — and that was the last thing that he wanted. So, for both your sakes, you decided to put him out of his misery.

“I know, doc,” You nodded, finally standing up, “I know.”

Spencer followed you with his wide doe-like gaze as you exited from the bathroom, not moving to do the same until you were already hiding behind your bedroom door. He should’ve realised sooner that the case had taken quite a toll on you, that you had been far more invested in what tidbit of obscure knowledge he had chosen to share with you this time around. But to his defence, he never thought that anyone would ever care to be a constant part of his life the way you seemed to do. He didn’t know what to do with it, what to do with you, without constantly fearing that he’d ruin everything. How could he ever know? No one had ever taught him how to deal with such feelings. The countless books that he knew by heart didn’t prepare him for anything quite like your sharp wit, and your earnest glances, and the mellifluous tone of your voice whenever you acknowledged him. 

Spencer had been entirely unprepared for you. 

That was all that he could think about as he paced back to your kitchen, set on getting the tea he’d made for you by your bedside before he could leave. 

He opted for a small knock on your bedroom door, but if you’d heard it, you didn’t respond to it. Eventually, his need to assure you were safely tucked in your bed and not indulging even more in your usual self-torment won him over, and he stepped inside the room.

At first glance, anyone could have thought you were asleep, but Spencer knew better. He had studied your breathing pattern as you dozed off enough times on the jet rides home where you usually nestled in an armchair next to him. Still, he approached your bed as quietly as he could for fear of disturbing you in any way, fixing the untucked covers over your body after he left the still-somehow-burning-hot mug on your bedside table. Debating whether you’d purposefully left the lamplight on, or if it’d be a good idea to remind you to get out of the clothes which still carried hints of dirt and smoke and depravity, he ultimately decided against both.

He also decided against lingering in your personal space far longer than he should. Despite his palpable, innate curiosity, and goodness, was that hard. He wanted nothing more than to take harmless advantage of seeing your safe haven for the first time by studying the number of books left on your desk, the framed photographs decorating any surprisingly empty bookcase space, the small radio which seemed to play almost on mute from its place on the window sill. He hoped that he’d be able to do that, even as a friend, some other time. If he was lucky enough.

Against his better judgement, he did find himself taking in the dimly-lit details of your semi-obstructed profile where your face was half-buried in your pillow. He was almost sure he’d never noticed a particularly clear adornment of freckles lining the side of your jawline. He made note to search for them again another time, when you’d be conscious, and he’d perhaps find himself close enough in your personal space again. He was almost certain that they made up a constellation. The thought made his stomach flutter.

Once he had satisfied his silent pining enough without feeling like a total creep, and you’d assumed the position of sleep, he decided that his time was up. He had already made it to the bedroom door when you called out his name.

Once again, turning the tables on him. Always turning the tables on him.

“Spencer?”

He didn’t make his way back to your bed for he didn’t trust himself not to stay behind and ruin the comfort that you needed. He stilled, his fingertips grazing the door handle. “Yeah?”

From the corner of your eye, his silhouette half-shadowed, half-highlighted by the orange lamplight and the silver moonlight glow where he stood by the door, reminded you of a time when you felt brave enough to believe that no monsters were hiding in the dark. Now, after what you’d seen and what you’d known, you weren’t quite so sure. 

Still, you clung to the remnant of hope, the promise of affection that he embodied desperately. 

“I promise you’ll be part of mine, too.”

Spencer didn’t say anything. He knew that he didn’t have to, that you didn’t want him to, that you’d pretend you’d fallen asleep if he extended the gratitude for your return of his promise. 

He lingered by the door for a few more silent moments, ignoring the contradictory sensations of the goosebumps dancing across his skin, and the heat rising from his neck to his face. Luckily, he was able to. You were in no place to remind him of your effect on him right now. 

You and your turning the tables on him.

He wouldn’t be satisfied if he hadn’t acknowledged your promise in some way before he left, though. 

So, as he slipped out of your room, he made sure to leave the door more than half-open, enough so that the orange and silvers in your bedroom would bathe the rest of the night in your apartment as well. 

In his mind, he found it fitting enough. The promise that you wouldn’t feel quite so stuck in the darkness once you were left alone, once he wasn’t around to try and silence those demons that made you think you’d ever be dispensable. 

He hoped that he had done enough for the night. He hoped that you’d find it easier to believe his promise. To at least try to. Because he knew that he’d already found himself believing yours. Whatever it looked like, whatever it entailed, it was enough for him. The permanent spot you’d hold for him in your monkey-sphere was more than enough for him. It would have to be, if only to quench his wishful thinking, his hope that he’d someday occupy the top spot of your list, too. 

Spencer had been entirely unprepared for you, that was the truth — and maybe that was the best part of it all. The promise of light drowning out the darkness. The possibility that it could. 

It was enough.

It was more than enough.

[p3ndeja6]

-; ✧˖*°࿐ -; ✧˖*°࿐ -; ✧˖*°࿐

summary: you beg Edward to let you ride him, but obviously he denies it. But you convinced him of another method of riding

Content tags: 18+ ,!smut, thigh riding, dry humping! i think, fingering!, squirting! (this was collecting dust in the drafts for like ever)

short and ass (my bad)

e. cullen x reader

it was a chilly afternoon, the wind blowing, creating small tornados of dried up leaves, scratching the pavement. You and Edward are inside, his small cottage he had in the woods of Forks, Washington.

All afternoon you’ve been cuddled up against your cold skinned boyfriend. But you always feel warm around him.

while cuddling, you accidentally nudged him causing him to groan. to him it hurt but for you, you wanted to hear more.

This caused you to get hot. You started to kiss his cheek, then his jawline, then his neck. He enjoyed it too.

you got on top of him, kissing him, straddling him. He knew what you were doing.

“Y/n stop” he said

“oh cmon Edward, please” you continue kissing him, you now start to grind a bit against him.

“No y/n, you know we can’t, I’d love to but I can’t” he says shamefully while pushing you off of him.

You stop, and look at him in defeat. You’ve always tried to get him to continue but his morals just won’t let him.

Until an idea pops up in you mind.

“Edward” “yeah”

“what if- now hear me out, what if you let me ride you”

his palely skin turns a bit pink

“w-what? That still can’t-“

“no no but not with your dick…. With… your thigh”

he looks at you confused but somewhat interested

“yeah you let me .. ride you but on your thigh. It’s very simple, you let me do all the work and you don’t have to do anything”

You started to straddle him again, caressing his clothed chest.

“You just relax, i promise to make you feel good”

Edward was so mesmerized, he didn’t say anything . He let you take advantage of him. he laid his hands on the side of the couch, letting you do your thing

you got onto his cold and rough thigh. You were still clothed from the bottom.

You looked at him with lustful eyes and slowly grinding on his thigh, he knew this was wrong but he just couldn’t bother stopping you from fucking yourself into him. You just looked so good, eyes partially closed slowly grinding and running your hands up to your tits, and giving them a light squeeze.

you know he was watching your every move, so you grabbed his hands and replaced your hands from the previous position

“cmon baby, don’t be scared” you said slightly out of breath

he was scared but he trusted you and what were you doing. you saw the huge erection growing in his tight pants, you slowly crept your hands to the area that needed the most attention.

“no.. don’t touch” Edward huffed out

“please let.. me”

he held you, closing his eyes, feeling you slowly rubbing yourself on him. You were getting so needy, holding on to his broad shoulders, digging your nails into them.

"mmh.. like that.." you said while tiliting your head back, your eyes closing shut, eyebrows scrunting up in pleasure.

Edward holding you so tight, keeping you in place on his dick, wanting more friction.

you got up, and edward looked at you confused and frustrated, but you pulled down your leggings as well as your panties, quickly trying to shimmy your way out of them

"you keep your pants on" you huffed

your wet slick being absorbed by his jeans, seeing the patch of wetness on his dick print

you began to rub yourself on him, moaning loudly. Edward imagining it was his dick that was pumping into you.

you started to aggressively move your hips trying to get to your high

"fuck Edward.." you moaned. Edward needed to see more of you

he dared and inserted two fingers into you, this caught you by surprise, feeling his icy cold fingers pump you so good. your wetness lubing his fingers perfectly, to easily get in there deeper.

"yeah.. yes.. please edward" tears started to well up, "yeah? you like that? cmon.. look at me"

you tried to open your eyes,

finally looking at how beautiful he was. "atta girl, thats it.. how bad you want it?"

"yes! bad.. p-please. please.."

you stopped rubbing trying to let him continue with his fingers, but he stopped as well. "uh uh, cmon pretty, keeping moving"

frustrated, you kept rubbing on him. his fingers now going faster, placing his thumb on your clit, creating circular motions

"f-fuck ed- im com-"

edward was panting.. on his other hand, holding you tight

"m-me too"

sweat beads starting to fall down your forehead, you leaned forward placing your hot, sweating head on his. feeling the coldness of his skin.

feeling your stomach getting tight, holding onto his head, cry-moaning as you felt yourself release.

"come for me"

your head went back as you squirted and making a big mess on edward's jeans. besides the heatness of your cheeks from the sex, they got hotter of embarrassment of edward seeing you like that.

"o-oh my g-god" you panted out

Edward was shocked, and so incredibly turned on that you can do that.

"im.. im so sorry, this is so embarrassing.." "no no that was so hot" he looked at you with lovely eyes

he kissed you and wiped the sweat under your eyes, "you are so incredibly beautiful"

you smiled at him and fell over on the couch, still bare from the bottom.

"fuck edward..." you said in bliss, smiling to yourself

"well now i have to go change my pants.." he said as he got up

"sorry.."

[boom-butterflyeffect]

If you don’t mind can you do a NSFW alphabet for Josh or Matt

check out my masterlist for the Matt one! unfortunately it might be a little underwhelming, i haven't looked into his character as much as the others, and i'm only now getting back into writing so my writing is pretty minimal rn, but anyways!

Josh Washington NSFW Alphabet

im honestly so excited for this one, josh is fine as fuck, and in my mind, he's arguably the kinkiest out of them all

A - Aftercare

Josh would get you all cleaned up, kissing you all over while he does so.

B - Body Part (His favourite body part on himself and you)

He loves your lips. Just mesmerised by how pretty they are. His favourite part of himself would probably be his dick, I can't lie

C - Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Messy! gets off to the sight of you with his cum either ON you or dripping out of you.

D - Dirty secret

Has SO MANY ideas for things you two could do. Wouldn't surprise me if he has them written down somewhere.

E - Experience (How experienced he is)

He's got a decent amount of experience, as well as a lot of ideas from the porn he watches.

F - Favorite position

Tbh I feel like Josh would love fucking you from behind while you're on your hands and knees, and he's got his hands on your hips.

G - Goofy (Is he more serious in the moment?)

Can switch back and forth between silly and serious so fast, and you can never quite tell if his seriousness is playful or not.

H - Hair

He keeps it tidy

I - Intimacy

He loves to get up close and personal, whispering in your ear and touching you all over.

J - Jack off

Honestly, a lot. He's got a lot of pent up energy.

K - Kink

I think Josh could potentially enjoy roleplay and costumes, considering how much he seemed to enjoy his whole Psycho act, and with all the movie equipment he has in the basement, I feel like he'd def be into some of the more kinky stuff.

L - Location

Every. Single. Goddamn. Room. In that lodge.

M - Motivation

Literally just seeing you.

N - No (Hard limits)

Anything that goes beyond your basic sadistic stuff, like nothing that would cause bleeding or permanent damage.

O - Oral

Loves both giving and receiving, loves making you squirm with just his tongue, does wonders for his ego seeing you become a mess, and would def be the type to grab you by the hair when receiving and guide your head.

P - Pace

Much like the seriousness, it can switch back and forth really fast. He always keeps you on your toes.

Q - Quickie

Yes. Quick fuck in a college bathroom before class? 100% he's down.

R - Risk

He's all for experimenting and trying out new things, and can enjoy things on the more daring side.

S - Stamina

He's got a LOT of energy, and gets really riled up once he's started.

T - Toys

I could definitely see Josh using toys on you, all sorts of borderline sadistic shit.

U - Unfair

Oh 100% he will degrade and praise you at the same time and leave you confused and whining.

V - Volume

Loud. Very chatty too, and talks you through everything, with all sorts of praise and degradation and teasing and all sorts.

W - Wild card (Random NSFW HC of my choosing)

I could imagine for Halloween he'd dress up as a masked killer from your favourite slasher movie and "hunt you down", he enjoys the thrill of the chase.

X - X-ray (Size)

7 inches (I think I'm just saying the same for all of them tbh idk)

Y - Yearning

Oh he is eager ALL the time, he's the most dirty minded guy in the group, no competition

Z - Zzz

I don't think he'd sleep for a while afterwards tbh, still too high on the adrenaline rush.

Bro it's crazy how much easier this one was than the others, I do really just imagine Josh to be a horny fucker

thank you for the request! Feel free to request other stuff too!

[swan-of-sunrise]

Heaven-Sent

Summary: The morning after Steve and (Y/N)’s much-anticipated first time together, as shown through the eyes of a romantic and love-struck super-soldier.

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings/Disclaimers: Disclaimer for implied sexy times

A/N: Hi there! Since the last couple of Superhero Snapshots were on the angsty side, I figured that you guys deserved some fluff and a hint of spice, so here it is! Thank you all for reading, I hope you enjoy!

Heaven-Sent November 2015 The Home of (Y/N) (Y/L/N) and Sam Wilson, Washington D.C. (Superhero Snapshots Masterlist)

Ignoring the super-soldier serum flowing through his veins and putting aside his role as the leader of the Avengers, Steve Rogers’ morning routine was remarkably ordinary. He was roused from his slumber by the shrill sound of his alarm clock at five-thirty and was out the door by five-forty-five, embarking on his early morning run; the others found it challenging to keep pace with him, so he often only had his battered MP3 player and its many energizing playlists for company. When he promptly returned to the Avengers Facility at seven o’clock, he took a shower and headed to their shared kitchen to whip up some breakfast just as his sleep-riddled teammates began to emerge from their suites. During missions, his morning run became his morning push-ups-and-sit-ups regiment and his breakfast usually consisted of instant coffee and granola bars, but the routine remained regardless.

That particular morning, however, Steve was slowly roused from his deep slumber by the warm rays of sunlight streaming in through the bedroom windows and the chirping of birds in the trees outside. With a content hum, he unfurled his arms from around his pillow and rolled over onto his back, bringing a hand up to rub at his sleep-filled eyes and stifle his exhausted yawn; he blinked his eyes open, momentarily surprised to find himself lounging in (Y/N)’s bed, but memories of the night before flooded his mind when he spotted some of their clothing strewn across the floor and a familiar black lace bra dangling off of the bedside lamp’s shade, prompting a love-struck grin to slowly spread across his face as he replayed the beginning of their perfect evening together…

“So…” (Y/N) slowly began, a bashful grin spreading across her face as she turned to face him and held her hands behind her back. Her (Y/E/C) eyes sparkled under the dim glow of the overhead porch light, and Steve found himself stunned by her beauty for the umpteenth time that evening; he’d done everything he could not to ogle her all throughout dinner, but the off-the-shoulder black cocktail dress hugged her curves in the most scintillating way and its daring neckline nearly brought him to his knees in the middle of the restaurant.

Steve chuckled and mirrored his girlfriend’s stance with a playful smile. “So…?”

The historical-fiction novelist took a step forward, and the look of desire in her intense gaze forced him to swallow thickly and hold his breath in anticipation. “We’ve had a wonderful evening together and I really don’t want it to end just yet, so would you like to come inside for a cup of coffee?”

“Coffee, huh?” Steve moved closer and pretended to ponder her question. “Well, it all depends, sunshine.”

(Y/N) softly bit her crimson-hued bottom lip and tilted her head to the side in faux inquisitiveness. “On?”

“Whether you’re inviting me inside for a cup of coffee…” One of Steve’s hands moved to rest on her waist while the other cupped the warm skin of her cheek, the both of them leaning in towards one another. “Or if you’ve got something else in mind.”

“You’re a very, very intelligent man, sweetheart.” The historical-fiction novelist’s breath fanned over Steve’s lips but before they could connect with hers, she flashed him a mischievous smile and slipped out of his embrace to stand at the porch railing; he grinned at her unabashed teasing and followed after her, standing behind her and wrapping his hands around the railing to cage her in between his arms “As a matter of fact, there is something else I had in mind.”

Bending down, Steve nuzzled his nose against her neck and breathed in the sweet scent of her perfume, her breath hitching when his lips purposefully brushed against her pulse point. “Yeah?”

“Mm-hmm,” (Y/N) hummed as she turned to face him, leaning back against the railing and looking up at him through her long lashes while a seductive smile played on her lips. “And I’ve got a feeling that you’re thinking of the same thing that I am. Would you like to know how I know?” Steve, entranced by how beautiful she looked in the pale moonlight, wet his dry lips and mutely nodded. “Because you’re looking at me like I’m the most profound revelation of your life.”

“You are…” Steve slid his arms around his girlfriend’s waist and pulled her against his chest, all too aware of her elevated heartbeat and the lustful gleam in her eyes as he met her heavy gaze. “You’re my everything, baby. My Tiny Dancer, remember?”

Bashfully smiling at his use of his special nickname for her, (Y/N) slung her arms around his neck and dreamily sighed. “Just when I think I couldn’t possibly fall any deeper in love with you, you go and say the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard and I go weak at the knees.”

“And I’ll gladly catch you each and every time, sunshine; if I could, I’d hold you in my arms forever, just like this.” Steve’s gaze flicked down to focus on her purple garnet pendant, a wave of insecurity suddenly taking hold and causing his heart to race. “For full transparency, though, I…um, I haven’t really done this since before I went into the ice. I’ve been on dates, of course, and I’ve gotten a couple of bases in but…well, no home-run this century.”

“Sweetheart, we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to-”

“I do!” He hastily interrupted and blushed at his over-eagerness. “Believe me, I can’t think of anything I wanna do more than to take you inside and make love to you, but…” Taking a deep breath, Steve glanced up to meet the historical-fiction novelist’s understanding gaze. “I just want tonight to be perfect for you, and I’m afraid that it won’t be.”

(Y/N)’s eyes softened as she cupped his face between her hands and gently stroked his cheekbones with the pads of her thumbs. “But don’t you see, sweetheart? It’ll be perfect because I’ll be with you.” Steve’s heart stuttered in his chest as he stared at her in silent admiration. “Oh God, was that too cheesy? I’m-”

Steve’s lips descended onto (Y/N)’s and interrupted her rambling apology; he poured all of his love and lust for her into his kiss, holding her even tighter and reveling in the feeling of her body pressed against his. (Y/N) recovered from her surprise and eagerly reciprocated, deepening their kiss and drawing a breathy moan from him when her fingernails scraped along his scalp as her fingers carded through his hair. When they finally broke apart for some much-needed air, Steve trailed kisses along her cheek and jawline, whispering against her flushed skin, “I want this, (Y/N). I want you.”

“I want you too, Steve,” (Y/N) breathed, tilting her head to the side and drawing him closer as he pressed kisses onto the soft skin of her neck. “I think…oh, sweetheart…I-I think it’s time to take this inside before we traumatize the neighbors.”

With great reluctance, Steve pulled himself away and offered her his hand with a smile. “Lead the way, baby.”

The historical-fiction novelist latched onto his hand and practically dragged him over to the front door; when she dropped his hand to rummage through her purse for her keys, he stood behind her and rested his hands on her waist, biting his lip in amusement when she struggled to unlock the door and cursed under her breath. “You’d better not be laughing at me back there,” She warned without any real anger in her voice as she turned the key in the deadbolt. “Otherwise, this night’ll end before it’s even begun.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be on my best behavior…” The moment the front door swung open, Steve scooped (Y/N) up into his arms with ease, grinning mischievously as she burst into a flurry of surprised giggles. “Mostly.”

“Mmm, I’m counting on it.” Smirking, (Y/N) looped her arms around his neck and kissed him, and Steve lost himself in the blissful feeling of her lips on his as he carried her into the house and kicked the front door closed behind him…

With a satisfied smile on his face, Steve crossed his arms behind his head and stared up at the ceiling, happiness blooming in his chest as he let out a content sigh. It had been the single most enjoyable night of his life – their movements fervent yet oh so gentle as they drew both sinful sounds of pleasure and bursts of shy giggles from one another, their joined hands pressed against the soft sheets as they surrendered themselves over to their desires, their shared passion finally reaching its highest crescendo as a galaxy of stars exploded in Steve’s line of vision and (Y/N) buried her face in his neck to muffle her beautiful gasps – and he couldn’t think of any other way to describe it other than divine. He hadn’t been drunk since 1942 but that night, he was intoxicated by her; her warmth, her softness, her scent, her unconditional love…everything about her drove him beyond madness, clouded his mind in the best way imaginable until only thoughts of her remained. Being with (Y/N) was the closest he’d ever felt to anyone before or after emerging from the ice, the closest he’d ever felt to heaven itself, and the culmination of their most carnal passions only confirmed what he’d known to be true for months: (Y/N) (Y/L/N), his beautiful, intelligent and courageous sunshine, was the love of his life.

Steve glanced over at (Y/N)’s vacant side of the bed and was starting to wonder where she’d gone when he heard the faint sound of his girlfriend singing along to a cheerful ‘60’s Motown song in the kitchen; the smell of maple syrup and pancakes drove any lingering immodest thoughts from his mind as his stomach growled, and he huffed out a quiet laugh before getting up to slip his boxers on and quietly padding down the hallway. When he reached the kitchen, he leaned a shoulder against the doorway and crossed his arms over his chest, a familiar warmth blooming in his chest as he studied his girlfriend from afar.

The historical-fiction novelist hadn’t noticed his presence, too engrossed in flipping pancakes on the griddle and singing along to the lively song that was playing from Sam’s stereo system; she was wrapped in a satin cherry blossom-patterned robe and a cheery smile illuminated her features as she sang, a smile that adorably widened when she flipped a pancake high into the air and successfully caught it on its descent with a plate while she swayed to the upbeat tempo. With the ongoing editing of her second soon-to-be released novel and the added stress of balancing their blossoming relationship with his unpredictable mission schedule, it was good to see her so relaxed and carefree for a change, and Steve couldn’t help but feel a surge of masculine pride for the part he played in her cheerful mood.

“Now this funny feeling has me amazed, don’t know what to do, my head’s in a haze, it’s like a heat wave! Yeah yeah, yeah-” (Y/N) twirled around in a circle and yelped in surprise when she finally noticed Steve, almost dropping the heaping plate of pancakes but quickly stopping herself as she flashed him a sheepish smile. “Um…surprise! It’s no secret that I’m not the best cook in the world, but I do know how to read the instructions on the back of the Krusteaz bag and I figured your super-soldier stomach was in need of sustenance, so I hope that you like pancakes.”

Steve hadn’t woken up with the expectation of getting emotional over a plate of slightly-overdone pancakes but there he was, standing in the messy kitchen with his eyes stinging and a lump forming in his throat as his kindhearted girlfriend beamed at him. He couldn’t recall the last time someone had made him breakfast – or any meal, for that matter – and while he’d always thrived as a caretaker to others and valued his independence, a part of him always wondered what it would feel like to be the one being taken care of for a change. I don’t think I’ll ever have to wonder again, he thought to himself as his smile slowly widened. He crossed the kitchen, his hands gently cupping her cheeks and angling her face upwards to give her a tender kiss, pulling away with great reluctance and finally finding his voice. “I love pancakes. Thank you, sunshine.”

(Y/N)’s eyes softened as she smiled back, and it was clear to see that she understood the implications behind his appreciation. “You’re welcome, sweetheart.” She handed him the plate and nodded towards the stools at the kitchen counter. “Now, dig in before they get cold while I finish making mine.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Chuckling, Steve took a seat and began pouring a liberal amount of maple syrup over his pancakes while (Y/N) dolloped more thick batter onto the hot griddle. “So, did you…um, did you have a good night?”

Steve mentally kicked himself for sounding so awkward but his girlfriend thankfully took his discomfort in stride. “I had a fantastic night, actually.” She tipped some coffee into her ‘Professional Bookworm’ mug and slid it across the counter towards him, and Steve caught the apprehension that quickly flashed across her face when her eyes timidly met his. “And you?”

“It was perfect, sunshine. You were perfect,” Steve assured her, his hand reaching across the counter to rest atop hers as he continued. “Trust me, I’m not exaggerating when I say that last night was the best night of my life.”

(Y/N) self-consciously ducked her head at his earnest words and affectionate tone and Steve’s heart swelled at the sight. He started on his breakfast while she finished preparing hers, unable to keep the content smile off his face and unwilling to take his eyes off the historical-fiction novelist as she worked; she seemed to be having a similar dilemma herself, nearly dropping the bottle of orange juice at one point and being forced to rescue a pancake from a charred fate not too long after, all because she’d been distracted by his smiles and heated gaze. When she took a seat beside him at the counter, her bare knee brushed against his and sent a pleasant jolt up his spine, the pleased smirk playing on her lips confirming that she knew exactly what sort of affect she had on him; It took me ninety-seven years, but I finally understand what it means to see heaven on earth, he thought as he smiled contentedly into his coffee mug.

“Can I ask you a question, sweetheart?”

Steve looked up from his pancakes to see an endearingly inquisitive expression gracing his girlfriend’s features. “Of course.”

“When did you finally…seal the deal?” (Y/N) inquired; there was no trace of jealousy in her tone or resentment in her eyes, only innocent curiosity. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I was just wondering whether it happened before or after Project Rebirth.”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind answering, sunshine.” Shrugging his shoulders, Steve took another bite of food and downed it with another sip of coffee before answering. “It was after; I’m pretty sure my asthma alone would’ve killed me if I tried doin’ anything like what we did last night before the serum.” She giggled a little at that and he felt himself starting to blush as he continued. “Yeah, it happened while I was on that damn USO tour of America in the summer of ‘43. We’d just finished up a show in Buffalo when one of the chorus girls found me hiding out backstage and asked me if I wanted a drink; from there, one thing led to another and then…” He chuckled to himself. “It was okay, I guess, and Joanie was nice enough but after a few weeks of sneakin’ around with her, I decided that I’d rather just wait for the right partner and we decided to break it off. Besides Joanie, you’re the only other woman I’ve ever gone all the way with.” (Y/N) nodded in understanding and Steve was suddenly filled with a little curiosity himself. “Is it okay to ask about your-?”

“Of course it is, Steve!” The historical-fiction novelist quickly reassured him, resting her hand on his forearm and giving him an encouraging smile. “Two of the best things about the twenty-first century is the rejection of purity culture and the encouragement of open communication within relationships. My first time was during my freshman year of college, with my boyfriend Travis; just as we were getting into it, he smacked his head on the corner of my dresser and had to get four stitches at the E.R., so I suppose you could say that it was a night to remember.”

Steve winced. “Please tell me it got better from there.”

“With Travis? Nope, that asshat dumped me a week later with the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech, but there were a couple of other guys after him. I dated Kenneth throughout my first year of grad school – he was sweet, but our masters degrees took us in two different directions and we decided to call it quits – and I went on a couple of dates with Marc, a Marine between deployments I met when I went out for drinks with Sam at Barracks Row; we both knew it wasn’t anything serious and while he was a perfect gentleman, I could tell that he was struggling with some personal issues and wasn’t really in the right mindset for a relationship. A couple of months after Marc and I went our separate ways, my dumb-ass roommate decided to try and race Captain America around the National Mall and…” She took another bite of her pancakes and gave him a flirtatious wink. “Well, here we are.”

“Here we are,” Steve repeated with a bashful grin that widened as his super-soldier hearing picked up her elevated heartbeat and warming skin.

The two of them enjoyed the rest of their breakfast together, listening to Sam’s Motown CD and chatting about anything and everything that came to their minds. When they finished eating, Steve offered to clean the whole kitchen himself but after a lighthearted debate regarding the unspoken rules of hospitality, he reluctantly agreed to wash the dishes while (Y/N) dried and put them away. The historical-fiction novelist sang along to each song that played without missing a single lyric and Steve even found himself humming along while they worked, smiling to himself as he reveled in the charming domesticity of it all; for the briefest of moments, he allowed his eyes to drift closed and he worked to commit their perfect morning to memory, not wanting to forget a single moment of it. I’d give everything I have if it meant I could spend every morning of the rest of my life like this, he silently admitted to himself, opening his eyes to steal another glance at (Y/N) and finding himself admiring the way she practically glowed under the morning sunlight streaming in through the kitchen window.

After rinsing the last of the soap suds down the drain, Steve switched the faucet off and turned away from the sink. “There, all done. You know, we make a pretty good dishwashing duo-”

Steve’s words were abruptly cut off when (Y/N)’s hands cradled his face and she pulled him close before crashing her lips against his, causing him to grunt in surprise as his hands landed on her waist to stabilize her. The softness of her lips on his coupled with the taste of maple syrup caused Steve’s mind to go blank, and his eyes slid closed in bliss while he returned her tender kiss; his arms wrapped around her waist and when he tugged her closer, she gasped against his lips and he chuckled before kissing her with renewed passion. While one of his arms held her securely against him, his other hand slid up her satin-covered curves and caressed her cheek, her flushed skin nearly scorching the pad of his thumb as it skimmed the length of her cheekbone. With a pleased hum, the historical-fiction novelist buried a hand into his mussed hair, the feel of her nails scratching along his scalp forcing him to suppress his desperate moan; his efforts were immediately dashed when her other hand sneakily found a home at the back of his boxers and playfully squeezed.

“Christ, baby,” Steve groaned against her smiling lips as a spark of desire igniting within him. In an instant, he lifted her up with ease and set her down onto the kitchen island before trailing kisses along the exposed column of her throat, murmuring against her heated skin, “You’re kind of a tease, you know that?”

(Y/N) giggled as his lips latched onto the delicate patch of skin just below her jawline. “It’s not my fault that you’ve got one fine ass, sweetheart. I was simply admiring a masterpiece.”

Reluctantly drawing away from her neck, Steve’s head tilted to the side as he studied his breathless girlfriend, a loving smile spreading across his face that was accompanied by the smallest of head-shakes. “The only masterpiece I see is sittin’ right in front of me, sunshine.” (Y/N) beamed and her eyes shone with tender affection as she leaned forward and kissed the bridge of his nose; Steve’s hands firmly grasped her waist, fingers flexing along the soft satin of her robe when she initiated another passionate kiss and his need for her growing stronger with every caress of her lips.

Before either of them could deepen their kiss, the buzzing of Steve’s cell phone filled the kitchen and abruptly brought them back to reality. (Y/N), nearly panting as she rested her forehead against his and unwound her arms from around his neck, flashed him a dazed sort of smile and nodded. “Go ahead and get that, I’ll just sit here and catch my breath.”

Steve chuckled, giving her another kiss before crossing into the living room to retrieve his crumpled slacks he’d discarded on the floor the night before; fishing his cell phone out of his pocket, his brow furrowed when he saw Natasha’s name appear on the screen and he quickly answered the call. “Nat?”

“Wow, someone sounds a little crabby this morning. Sleepless night?”

Steve’s eyes flicked over to (Y/N), who’d hopped down from the counter and was going along scooping up the trail of clothes that led to her bedroom, and he smiled to himself before answering, “Yeah, something like that. What’s up?”

“We’ve got a lead on Adrien Pullman, one of Rumlow’s mercenary friends; our intel puts him and his crew in a safe house about five miles outside of San Juan.”

“How fresh is this intel?”

“Farm-fresh. It’s your call, Steve, but I don’t know when we’re gonna get another chance like this.”

Leaning against the back of the couch, Steve ran his free hand through his hair as he weighed the situation, ultimately coming to the conclusion that the spy was correct. “All right, we’ll go. Get Sam and Wanda up to speed on Pullman and his crew, and I’ll meet you guys at JBA in an hour.”

“Will-do. Oh, and tell (Y/N) I said hi!”

“I-wait, how’d you know I was with…?”

“I’m a trained spy, Steve; you’ve got that ‘I got laid last night and I’m wasting the morning away basking in the glory of my smoking-hot author girlfriend’ lilt in your voice.” Natasha’s blunt explanation caused Steve to blush and she snickered. “And I’ll bet you anything that you look like an heirloom tomato right now. See you in an hour, and don’t forget to wear protection!”

Steve’s blush darkened as the spy abruptly ended the call, and he tossed his cell phone onto the couch before chuckling at himself; ninety-seven years old and I’m blushing like a goddamn teenager, he silently observed, a smile reluctantly forming on his lips at the absurdity of his circumstances. “Steve?” He glanced up to see (Y/N) standing in front of him, their clothes slung over her arm and a concerned frown on her face. “Everything okay?”

“A last-minute mission to Puerto Rico just came up, and I’ve gotta be at Joint Base Andrews in an hour.” He offered her an apologetic look and reached out to take her free hand. “I’m so sorry, (Y/N), I was really looking forward to spending the day with you.”

With an understanding smile, the historical-fiction novelist leaned in and pressed a sweet kiss onto his forehead, waiting until his gaze met hers to speak. “Sweetheart, I’m dating Captain America; last-minute missions and cancelled plans are pretty much a given in your profession, and I’d be naïve not to understand that by now. All that matters to me is that after Cap gives ‘em hell out there, Steve Rogers comes home safe to me.”

If Steve hadn’t been leaning against the back of the couch, his girlfriend’s sweet sincerity and the kindhearted gleam in her (Y/E/C) eyes would’ve instantly made him go weak at the knees; instead, he brought their joined hands up to his lips and pressed a reverent kiss onto her knuckles before breaking out into a dopey smile. “You’re heaven-sent, you know that?”

“Funny, that’s exactly what I was thinking about you,” (Y/N) softly replied, kissing the bridge of his nose and giggling when his face scrunched up at the ticklish sensation. “C’mon, super-soldier, I’ll drive you to Joint Base Andrews after we take a shower.”

Steve’s brow shot up in surprise. “We?”

“I, um…well, yes? Y-You know, you’re right, that was a little presumptuous of me, just forget I said anything-”

(Y/N)’s anxious rambling was cut off when Steve surged forward and captured her lips in a searing kiss; the pile of clothes were unceremoniously dropped onto the ground and her arms wrapped around his neck as she returned his kiss with equal enthusiasm. When a lack of air forced them apart, Steve smirked roguishly at (Y/N) as she worked on catching her breath. “I’ve never showered with a beautiful dame before, but I’ve always wanted to.”

The historical-fiction novelist hummed in playful interest. “Is that so? Well, we should really remedy that, shouldn’t we?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Steve agreed and with a teasing grin, he scooped her up into his arms and carried her to the bathroom while their lips pressing together in a ravenous kiss.

Arriving at Joint Base Andrews over fifteen minutes late, Steve said his goodbyes to (Y/N) at the main gate and jogged across the tarmac to the Quinjet, where Natasha and Sam were impatiently waiting on the aircraft’s extended ramp and a bored Wanda was levitating his vibranium shield into the air with her powers. Sam ribbed him for his uncharacteristic tardiness, eying the fading love bite on his neck with a mixture of pride and apprehension, his sibling-like relationship with (Y/N) no doubt conflicting with his happiness for him, and Wanda handed over his shield before reaching into her pocket and withdrawing a ten dollar bill, which Natasha smugly accepted as they trooped up the ramp. Steve was unfazed by his teammates’ behavior, entirely consumed with thoughts of (Y/N) and the passion-filled morning they’d shared; it looks like we’ve created a much more pleasurable morning routine to stick to, he smiled to himself, changing into his uniform and whistling a light-hearted tune all the while.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I've tried writing smut several times over the years, and I've pretty much accepted that this is as close as I'll ever get to giving you guys spice lol thank you all so much for reading and commenting! I’ve created a Spotify playlist inspired by this series, and I’ll be updating it every time I upload a new chapter. Enjoy!

Spotify Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3ziGMhEsAw833GQ9eV44nR?si=6dfead09c76848d5 

Stumblin’ In Book VII: “Superhero Snapshots” Masterlist 

Stumblin’ In Book VI: “Endgame” Masterlist

Tagging: @mrs-obrien @lahoete @awkward117 @fanficfandomlove @momc95 @savedbystyle @awkwardnesshabitat @marinettepotterandplagg @benakenalove @brooke0297 @hufflepeople @outoftheregular @junipermurdock @mads-weasley @username23345 @crist1216 @capswife @lilmschild @crowleysqueenofhell @mary1raven @groovy-lady @ljej95 @toostrangerkid @prettysbliss

[random-askbox-shit]

List of everyone asked so far:

@real-british-empire @thatoneaceidiot @ace-of-loop @scp-threats-is-back @ambivertpotato2137

@the-real-gmail @fake-microsoft-outlook @godsfavefemboy @sushi1056 @murpledurple

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@robonitrogen @the-real-yahoo-mail @thee-tired-0ne @sarah-ankh @kianf1sh

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@greymonds-bounty-board @more-trans-beans @tameable50 @top-secret-replier @regularsystemdeez

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@meatybunger @100percent-shell-oil @the-gimmick-doctor @definitely-waste-management @definitely-wikipedia

@whataburger-possibly-official @the-gimmick-astronaut @all-turtles-are-magenta-actually @bored-dromaeosaur @four-leafed-queer-gal

@violet-hady @mun-urufu @theetherealraphael @that-0ne-sam @nanochittle

@walking-at-nighttime-is-the-life @aristarxs @marbledew @some-rando-with-internet @ankoku-teion

@a-friendly-stray @ohio-thestate @literal-trans-beans @nontheanon @smileinc

@scpfoundation-site19 @wikipedia-the-non-official @maryland6th @marylandaccountx4 @marylandaccountx3

@evil-maryland @epiales06 @workplacefire @the-principality-of-sealand @washington-offical-2

@eliza-rivers @the-side-of-blogs @the-colours-system @the-real-liquid-death @the-lunacy-system

@i-eat-rocks-4-funsies @officially-lowes @pennyroyald @aroaceloverofgarlicbread @alchemicalwerewolf

@sunnyd-seltzer-real @santi-the-theory-guy @syahan-system @sentientballofpeasv2 @sentientballofpeas

@grammarly-keyboard @gooseonthetable @garmrin @kharak-the-skeleton @littlegayduck

@literally-lord-montgomery @crowthekiller @cb-writes-stuff @caprisunstwin @canisnebular

@crystalsandbubbletea @vampiricram1 @bees-official @brodiedoesthings @nicoletheslayqueen

@names-confuse-me @nostis-omnia-perdet-omnia @missouri-real @meatierbunger @thegayestidiot

@shakespeare-official-account @thebookshelflord @real-ikea-bag @mozilla-thunderbird @xyzee1212

@walmart-the-official @unhinged-as-hell @ravenwordss @garden-of-runar @izumi-kousei1715

@lienspien @idontknowwhatthefuckimfeeling @sunshine-prongsie-boy @amethyst-marshmallow @random-artistic-idiot

@adonis-bomb-emoji @urnmbr1fan @millyzasilly @t9-anon @lucky-cat-anon

@theacemagpie @thecrazyalchemist @buffalony-official @sleepy-boything-shit @im-an-anthusiast

@cloudstongue @zeeposting @cassylost-inspace @zombieefish

@kasperszilliez @bl00dy-bvnn1 @shark-tranny @cado-thingy

@the-fr-north-carolina-totally @irishfry @voxxxlol @internetsdeadd0ve

@colorfullaudino @kurushimiangel @mushuchanluna

@sink-ling @a-narcissists-warren @desklamper @ryuatewater @twoinky

@sugarloom @phoenixleft1 @mildlybizarrecorvid

@marinipanini @not3catsinatrenchcoat @bagel-lost-to-phyrexia @bagel-the-cardslinger

@bagel-is-yum @vellichorius @certified-bozo @cactus-with-tits @cactus-with-boobs

@l-lucas-s @leprechaun-stealerofgold @laurenshamiltonjr

@luciddreamer4u @kidnaps-you @killerdinosourusrex @kickintheleaves @jayysnotjoyful

@jimjamtheman122 @historygirlie @hey-its-saturn

@half-eaten-baguetteee @help-im-not-original @goldenspirits @goofy-transfem-user

@god-offical @furryrainbowscreature @fayewoods-2 @first-witch

@f4y3w00d5 @dawgtistic @shelteredbratshit @auroras-post-limit

@abyssal-sys @ashes-onthewind @transfem-users @pademelonluck @onetimemacaroni

@the-gimmick-hospital @the-gimmick-detective @unofficial-finch-app @heiskelcrinomicon

@totally-china @totally-ikea @elise-the-potato @mr-andy-a-person

@grayskittles @loveableliquid @yoyleberry-eater

@svgarbvg @aireezerb @creature498 @evan-on-the-internet

@flunkett @mus74ch3c47 @vivizzy @whimsycentral

@l0ser-nicolaz @rxccoonboo @your-fav-is-divorced

@piizgaxw @s1lv3rp4w3dc4t @biscutsandgraves @mersinia

@thegreatgeodo @non-tyrannical-usa @bingle-official @biss16

@yourlocalbadgerscales @the-very-unofficial-ussr @random-askbox-shit @kosmolore

@mothco002 @your-average-sentient-suit @the-real-gmail

[panandinpain0]

Could I ask for an Edward Cullen x male reader where the reader is Bella’s best friend (who moved right after her)- He ends up becoming infatuated with him instead, and they just have a happy time??

This is Different...

Twilight timmmmeee- time to reach into the archives of my memories and pull random facts from my ass.

Thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy <3

@@@

Requested by: Anon

Edward Cullen x Male!Reader

---

Bella had to kept telling herself to wait just one more week, because then (Y/N) would be there and she could vent to him about how weird this town was.

The two had grown up together in Arizona and were practically inseparable. Their parents did that thing where they were convinced Bella and (Y/N) were going to date and get married and all of that, which just isn't happening. But it made his dad easier to convince when they asked if (Y/N) could move to Forks, Washington with Bella.

(Y/N)'s parents had just gotten a divorce and his dad was moving anyways, and he was old enough that he just wanted to stay with his dad (and little sister that would come to visit every once in a while) until he was an adult.

So after Bella left to Forks, (Y/N) and his dad started packing their bags and started their trip.

Bella could not wait to tell him about the school, the weird but oddly charming students, and the standoffish Cullen family.

Finally the week came to an end and Charlie drove Bella to pick them up from the airport.

(Y/N)'s father, James, had planned to buy a car once they got to the new house, but Charlie had so kindly offered to drive them until he did get one.

At the airport Bella ran up to (Y/N) and he caught her in a hug, laughing at her eagerness.

"Looks like somebody missed me!" (Y/N) squeezed out a laugh, Bella cutting off his air supply with the grip of her hug.

"It's been absolute agony without you here, I have so much to tell you- and warn you about."

"Oh damn, that doesn't sound good," (Y/N) replied as Bella helped pick up one of his bags.

"It's crazy out here." She nodded, and the two shared a look that only childhood friends could share.

"Any cute guys?" they had a hushed conversation to the car, Charlie and James too wrapped up talking about fishing to pay attention.

"I'm sure you'd find them cute," Bella scoffed, throwing a teasing smile over her shoulder as she loaded the trunk.

(Y/N) scoffed back, betrayed at her diss.

"I'm sure you went for the stalker-ish one anyways." With a sly smirk he got into the backseat, closing the door on her denials.

...

(Y/N) had settled in, conveniently living next door to the Swan's house, and drove with Bella in her old truck to school that Monday.

"So, Jessica is into Mike and Angela is with Eric. And Tyler flirts with everybody, but nobody goes out with him?" (Y/N) recapped from the tangent of drama Bella had been giving him.

"Yup, pretty much," Bella confirmed, turning into the school parking lot.

"And all of the Cullen's are super hot- but they're dating each other?" (Y/N) asked, more suspiciously this time.

"Well, they're all adopted, but yes. Except for Edward- but I already told you what happened."

"Yeah the weird smelling thing and the he disappeared just to come back with a different eye color."

"They could just be colored contacts," Bella corrected, still not sure herself.

"Strange... Welp, let's do this," (Y/N) sighed as he got out of the passengers seat of the car.

Bella shrunk into his side, all of the attention on her once again. Last time it was because she was the new girl, but now it's because she had her attractive best friend with her.

"Yo, Bella!" Mike called out, giving (Y/N) a confused glare.

Bella waved back and started walking over, (Y/N) following at her side. Leaning down to whisper in her ear (Y/N) held back a laugh, "You left out the part about Mike's crush on you."

Bella just rolled her eyes as they met up with the group.

"Everybody, (Y/N)- (Y/N), everybody," Bella lazily introduced.

"You just moved here, right?" Angela asked, holding Eric's hand as they lent up against Tyler's van behind them.

"Yes, I did. I grew up with Bella in Arizona and where she goes I go," (Y/N) laughed, nudging Bella in the side jokingly.

That's when he noticed her distracted state. Following her line of sight he realized she was staring at a car full of probably the most attractive people he'd ever seen.

"Who's that?" (Y/N) asked the group, acting clueless to get more information.

"Those are the Cullen's-" Jessica jumped right into the rant about their family.

When she was done she came closer to (Y/N), grabbing hold of his hand as she batted her eyelashes at him. "Let me show you around!"

Shrugging, (Y/N) waved to Bella, who rolled her eyes at Jessica's obvious flirting.

...

"Where'd you find that guy? He's so hot," Jessica gushed to Bella at lunch. (Y/N) hadn't sat down yet so she'd finally gotten a second to ask.

"We grew up together- he wasn't that hot when we first met, trust me," Bella almost snorted, playing with the food on her tray.

"You guys aren't like..." trailing off she wiggled her eyebrows to imply.

"No- god, no," Bella laughed. "He's like my brother."

"Oh, good. Less competition then," Jessica sighed.

"I don't think you'll be having much luck either, Jessica," Angela pointed out, nodding in (Y/N)'s direction.

He was flirting with some guy in the lunch line, the guys face bright red as he laughed at something (Y/N) had said.

Jessica looked heartbroken but Angela and Bella just laughed about it.

When (Y/N) finally joined them Bella raised an eyebrow at him.

"What?" (Y/N) shrugged indignantly, opening his milk carton.

"Not even a full day in and you're already jumping on them," Bella teased, popping a grape into her mouth.

"Hey, you told me there wasn't any cute guys here, I just wanted to see what he was like," (Y/N) protested. "I didn't even like him that much. Kind of a dick."

Hearing a sudden and loud snort of laughter, (Y/N) and Bella turned around to see the Cullen's lunch table, Edward hiding his face as he looked towards the windows as his siblings glared at (Y/N). Or maybe they just all had RBF- save for the short girl with the pixie-like hair. She smiled at (Y/N) and waved, so he waved back.

"They're so weird," Jessica whispered as she dug into her lunch.

"How much have you actually talked to them?" (Y/N) questioned, taking a bite of his apple.

Jessica didn't answer for a minute, looking kind of embarrassed. Angela rolled her eyes, answering for her. "Once- and it was Edward rejecting her."

(Y/N) snorted and then apologized, "Sorry. It just seems like you're holding a grudge on people you barely know." He then changed the subject, not wanting to make an enemy out of Jessica.

She really seemed like a good friend, he didn't want to go pushing her buttons, that'd be mean.

...

"Mr. Molina, it's nice to meet you. I'm your new student, (Y/N)."

"Ahh, Mr. (L/N), is it?" (Y/N) nodded. "You can sit in front of Edward Cullen. You're lucky we had an empty seat," he joked, pointing to where he was talking about.

That was when (Y/N) got his good first look at Edward Cullen. His gaze was intense, just like Bella had said, but it was less scary than she described it.

Seemed like a guy worth getting to know.

Walking over to the desk with Bella, (Y/N) held out his hand to Edward. "You're Edward Cullen, right? Mr. Molina told me to sit in front of you, but I've heard stories and wanted to introduce myself." He smiled confidently.

Edward hesitantly took his hand and shook it, (Y/N) not reacting to the hard coldness of his skin.

Or at least he didn't show it- (Y/N) was immediately thrown off but didn't want to put off this attractive guy.

"Like you said, I'm Edward. It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise." (Y/N) winked and sat in his chair, not looking back at Edward or Bella once.

Bella just rolled her eyes with good nature. She'd seen him do this before, if she'd felt uncomfortable or threatened by someone, (Y/N) would draw the attention to himself. That's what worked about their friendship, he could take the attention that she didn't want.

At the end of class, (Y/N) packed up his things and then helped Bella do the same. He waved to Edward with a "Bye!" and they left.

Out in the parking lot his siblings all waited for him by the car.

"What's up?" Emmett asked, his arm around Rosalie.

Alice squealed, "Oh! It happened, didn't it? I thought it was Bella at first but then I saw him and just knew it would happen!" She jumped up and down and clapped her hands.

"What happened?" Rosalie questioned again, Jasper smirking as he sensed Edward's emotions.

"He fell in love," Alice stage-whispered. She was teasing him, of course, but Edward grumbled all the same.

They all piled into the car but before Edward got in he looked across the lot to see (Y/N) leaning on the truck hood talking to Bella.

He hadn't fallen in love. He couldn't- not with a human.

With Bella it was just an obscene thirst... but this was different.

---

Sorry to cut this short, I wouldn't be opposed to writing more for this! I just think this is a good ending and leaves an open spot for a potential part 2!

Hope you liked it anon!

-Author Max <3

[spid3namy]

— AUGUST

pairing : e!42 miles x mixed!female reader

summary : rumors spread like wildfire around school, everyone knew everyone's business. who knew the only rumor about you and your boyfriend would be true...?

contains : angst, cheating, song inspired (obviously), they are mid to late teens, miles lowkey stupid asf, implied lying (kind of), might have some incorrect spanish, cussing, not proof read

divider creds : saradika

word count : 2031

notes : lowkey, i only wrote this cus i literally love this song and figured why not write angst. this is my way of being productive while also being lazy asf LMAO. i probably might start a taglist for people who wanna be tagged when i post new things but we’ll see. anyways, i hope you enjoy the story <3

“Will you call when you're back at school...?”

Summer vacation.

For some, it was a great way to get away from school. To hang out with friends, to spend time with family. Others, it was nothing but a cruel and long three and a half months. 

For you, it was supposed to be a great three and a half months!

Until you found out that you were being shipped away to your grandparents house to spend time with them. Sure, you loved your grandparents but they were just.. so old. Summer was supposed to be the time when you hung out with your best friends!

And most importantly, your boyfriend! But no. 

Before you knew it, you had been packed up and sent on a flight all the way up to the shitty state of Washington. And that’s cruelly how you spent your summer vacation. Being around old people for a long three and a half months literally sucked.

September 18.

The day school started was a nightmare.

Rumors spread around like wild-fire at Visions Academy. Well, you knew that much. Especially with all the rumors that happened last year about the girl that had gotten pregnant. Of course, that rumor had been a lie. But everyone knew about it in the spam of like 20 minutes.

“Y/N! Have you heard yet?”

Your best friend, Juno, is the first one to come up to you the moment you walk through the doors. She was always so pretty when she came to school. If you all didn’t have to wear uniforms, she’d probably be the hottest girl in school with those fire ass fits you knew she owned.

“Heard what exactly?”

“Okay, so I’m guessing you haven’t heard then.”

You look at the girl and raise an eyebrow, brushing your braids behind your shoulder to flow down your back. What the hell was she on about now? Juno was your best friend, yes, but she was too into the gossip the school had going on. Most times, you couldn’t even believe the words she said. 

“Well, are ya gonna tell me?”

Juno stared at you for a few moments before she shrugged, figuring that if you really wanted to know then she would tell you. Even if she knew it was gonna hurt you, it was best if you found out from her and not some random stranger who probably would tell it in the worst way possible.

“Promise you won’t get mad?”

“Uh.. okay? I promise.”

Juno let out a breath and gripped the strap of her tote bag tightly before she spoke in a mess of jumbled up words. “Okay so basically, I heard from Dorothea who heard it from Suki who heard it from Rose who heard it from Verity who heard it from Betty who heard it from Venus, herself, that she and Miles had a little fling over the summer.”

You blink as you watch Juno suck in a huge intake of air. She was acting as though she had been waiting a long time to gain some type of air in her lungs. 

You soon burst out into laughter and shook your head, holding your stomach as you laughed. Juno watched you with confusion clear on your face; she clearly didn’t understand what the hell was funny. 

Once you had slowly started to calm down, you wiped an imaginary tear from your eye and shook your head, looking at the female. 

“Whew, thanks Jun, I really needed a laugh today.”

“I’m being serious, Y/N. I totally think it’s true too!”

“That’s ridiculous, Miles would never do anything like that. Me and he are locked in.”

Juno stares at you before she shrugged; the two of you started your descent down the hallway to where your shared first class was. 

“‘M just sayin’ what I heard. Only Miles would really know what happened. Just hope he doesn’t lie to you.”

You snort and roll your eyes playfully, nudging her with your shoulder and looking over at her. “He would never lie to me.”

“Whatever you say, Y/N. But just remember: men ain’t shit”

“Tha.. thank you for that, Juno. But you’re not really the greatest person to say that. Especially since you’re biased as hell.”

“What? I am not biased!” 

“Yes you are”

Juno rolled her eyes as the two of you walked into the classroom. Anatomy, the board read.

Great, seeing bodies and stuff at 8 in the morning was gonna be so fun. And it was a block class. How fun.

✰

Lunch. Possibly the only good thing about being at this stupid school. You and Juno stand in line together, looking at all the options of food you can pick out. It’s not much. Pizza, nachos, salads, and hot dogs. Barf. 

You let out a sigh and grabbed a plate that had a pretty decent sized slice of pizza. Juno looks over at you and makes a face before she reaches over to grab a salad. The two of you quickly scan your school ids to pay for the food before you walk over to a table where Miles had been sitting. He had been there alone for a while now. 

He was fortunate enough to have his own food.

Juno sits in front of you two before she nudges her head over to the male who was too busy drawing in his stupid sketchbook to even notice that you were even there. You give a look before you sit down next to your boyfriend, peering over his shoulder a little to see what he was doing.

“Whatcha drawin’?”

“You.”

The answer was so flat, so blunt. It caused your cheeks to heat up when you realized that he was, in fact, drawing you. Miles had always been so good at drawing. It was one of his many talents. 

“You two make me sick.”

“You’re just jealous, Jun. It’s not our fault that your mystery girl doesn’t know you exist.”

Juno lets out a dramatic cry and puts her head down when you mention the girl she had a crush on since 8th grade. It was a little cute that she’s liked her for so long. Yet, she has never even attempted to make a move on her.

“I just wish Leni would notice me.”

“Just talk to her, it ain’t that hard.” That earned Miles a glare despite the fact that he didn’t even really see it. Not like he really cared. He was just speaking the truth.

“Not everyone is brave enough for that, Miles.”

“Jus’ quit being a fuckin’ pussy and talk to her.”

Juno glared at him more and started to stand up. You shake your head quickly to get her to sit down. You already knew where this was headed and you really didn’t want the two of them to get into a huge argument. Not again. Not this school year.

Juno lets out a noise of frustration before she sits back down, her hand gripping the fork in her hands tightly. 

“At least, I didn’t cheat on my girlfriend.”

That seemed to gain his attention. Miles looked up from his sketchbook and quickly put his pencil down, looking at her with a look that could only be described as anger.

“Where the hell did you hear that from?”

“Miles..”

“Callarse la boca”

You look offended by his words but you don’t have time to dwell on it before Miles speaks again, his voice clear with annoyance.

“Where did you hear that from, Juno? Huh?!”

“Dorothea told me.”

Miles takes a deep breath at that, his nostrils flaring slightly as he lets out a deep and heavy exhale. He was screwed because now you knew about it. And he knew how you were going to act now that you knew. 

“Why are you gettin’ so upset, babe? It’s not like it’s true, right?”

Miles looks over at you and sighs, his shoulders tensing up as he clears his throat awkwardly. Guess it was time to be honest now. 

“Mi vida, listen... it-”

You blink and stare at you, anger slowly starting to fill up your body. You don’t even let him get another word out before you raise your hand and slap him. The feeling caused his face to sting, his face turned to the side from the impact. He lets out a slow breath and nods to himself; he knew he deserved it. 

“Fuck you, Morales.”

And with those harsh words spat, you get up and walk away from him. Juno and Miles both watch as you leave before Juno looks over at him, shaking her head and letting out a sigh.

“You fucked up man.”

“No, really? Thanks for the news flash, sherlock.”

“Don’t get smart with me, boy.”

Miles glares at the girl as she gets up and goes after you. God, he was so fucking stupid!

✰

It’s been a week since you last spoke to Miles. You have been avoiding him at school and even went as far as changing seats in the classes you shared with him. You did everything in your power to try and be as far away from him as possible. Miles didn’t seem to let that affect him.

Even if you were far away from him, he would still do his very hardest to talk to you. To explain what happened between him and Venus over the summer. But of course, you didn’t listen. Couldn’t listen to a word he said. It would be nothing but a lie.

Juno was right; men ain’t shit.

It was almost sickening to think that your once loyal and sweet boyfriend would turn out to be a dirty, rotten cheater! And to think it only took one summer for him to change. That was so fucked up man. You hated how easily you had allowed yourself to be betrayed. 

How could someone be so sweet one minute then betray you the first chance they got? It really made no sense to you. 

A knock on your bedroom door was enough to pull yourself from your thoughts. Your head snapped up just as the door opened to reveal Juno, a sheepish smile on her face as she practically jumped on you.

“What are you doin’ here, Jun?”

“I was summoned by your father.”

You let out a snort and roll your eyes, moving over slightly to give her more room to sit on the bed. It was sweet how she wanted to comfort you but you already knew it wasn’t going to work. You were too hurt to ever feel better after just a few visits but you appreciate the effort.

“Should I beat his ass?”

“No.. it’s fine, Jun. I don’t really care, ya know? I already got over it!”

“Mhm. and is that why you’re still avoiding him?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

Juno lets out a chuckle and moves closer to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder gently and pulling you closer for a side hug. It was the best thing she could think of doing right now. 

“Ya know.. He’s stupid for doing that to you. He don’t know what he’s missing.”

And that did it. Before you knew it, you had burst out into tears. Juno rubbed the side of your arm gently and allowed you to cry on her shoulder, soaking her shirt with your tears. She knew you probably needed this right now.

“I fuckin’ hate him, Jun.”

“I know, Y/N.”

“I wish I never met him!”

“I know, Y/N”

The two of you stay like that for an hour. Maybe longer. Who knew? It didn’t matter anyway. Juno was too busy trying to comfort you while you bawled your eyes out. It hurt so fucking much. 

All the trust that you had put into Miles was now gone. 

And it was all his fault. 

Seeing him everyday at school hurt worse than any pain imaginable. But at least you had Juno by your side, you knew she would never hurt you. She was your best friend. She was different than him.

You wish you had never fallen in love with Miles Morales.

[nextstopwonderland]

Jon Moxley saying he felt the spirit of the American dragon leave Bryan in Washington

Wheeler Yuta doing his best to embody Bryan from wearing his clothes to doing his moves

Daniel Garcia out here saying HE’S the one who inherited Bryan’s spirit

S T O R Y T E L L I N G

[itspbandjellytime]

The Assistant [Hailee Steinfeld x Fem!Reader] - Chapter 1

Plot: Y/N Waldorf is fresh out of college and her first job is being Hailee Steinfeld's personal assistant, but what Y/N doesn't know is that Hailee is hiding a huge secret from the general public and from her, as her assistant.

Notes: This is a multi-chapter fic, you can also read this on wattpad under the same username "itspbandjellytime". This fanfic is also going to contain NSFW themes in the near future, so if you're under the age of 18 please don't read this. Thank you!

Word count: 1.5k words

[Y/N's POV]

My name is Y/N Waldorf, I am 21 years old and I live in Seattle, Washington, and I just graduated from college a few months ago. After four gruesome years of this course that I didn't like, I am finally free and I get to choose what job I'll have in the future since this is America and it's a free country after all. I got to say College was mentally challenging, but it was worth it after all and I got my degree, which I will probably never use in the future.

My parents, are real estate brokers and they were high school sweethearts. But they're not your typical high school sweethearts where one is a football player and the other is the girl next door, my parents were a bunch of nerds who fell in love and gave birth to two girls. I am the youngest and my sister Kelly, is the eldest. 

If I can talk about their reaction to me graduating college, all I can say is that they were happy that I finished college after ranting to them I want to drop out every five seconds. However they have been bugging me for months to get a job which is annoying at first but I manage to get used to them bothering me at 3 in the morning to get one which I have- well had. I told my parents I've been working at the coffee shop somewhere in our local town, but they told me to get a PROPER job, a job that can pay me well and can give me money to support myself. As if the job at the coffee shop didn't support me when I was in college which it did for some time, I quit my job at the coffee shop a few weeks ago and now I am scouring the internet for a job.

My eyes start to hurt from staring at the screen of my laptop way too long, scrolling through countless job hunting websites, my ears start to hurt as well from the headphones I am wearing and blasting out my playlists as I look for the said job. I start to slowly give up at this point and start to overthink about my life choices until I was on the verge of tears, when all of a sudden I saw something that says: "Urgent! In need of a Personal Assistant, please contact Laura McKinnon." along with her details. I was skeptical at first when I saw the advertisement, I am fully aware about the scams happening which leads to people being in very life threatening circumstances. But with a quick google search, I realized that she works as a talent manager and she's based in California, I feel like this is also a sign from God at the same time. I immediately typed down her e-mail address and sent my resume to Laura, hoping for the best and I don't get scammed.

A few days have passed, I've been checking my e-mail almost everyday to see if I get a word from Laura which I did. According to the E-mail I sent, I am scheduled to have an interview with her via. Zoom the next day. The next day arrived and I was interviewed by Laura through Zoom, once the interview concluded she told me she'll contact me again once I get the job or not. I waited and waited, day and night for a response from Laura. I was desperate to get this job that I started to go to church almost everyday, I was religious for an entire week basically.

One day, while I was in a middle of a run just to count my steps in and getting my blood pumping, my phone starts to ring. I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and answered the call from an anonymous number "Hello?" I spoke, panting and catching my breath "Hello is this Y/N Waldorf?" The person asked, the sound of the person's voice sounded sweet, feminine, and had a valley girl accent. 

I furrow my brows, checking my surroundings before speaking "Yes, who is this?" I asked.

"This is Laura McKinnon, from the office of Hailee Steinfeld. I am just here to inform you that you got the job as Hailee Steinfeld's personal assistant." Laura said, hold on... Did she say Hailee Steinfeld? Like... THE Hailee Steinfeld?!? I get to work as Hailee Steinfeld's personal assistant?!? I tend not to freak out in the middle of the street knowing I am gonna be a part of Hailee's team. I've looked up to Hailee since I first saw The Edge of Seventeen for the first time and I never looked back since, she is also the reason why I am into women and met one of my closest friends, Jackie.

"Miss Waldorf? Are you still on the line?" Laura asks me, I snapped back to reality and stammered for a bit to find words "Uhm... Yes. Sorry, I was distracted." I responded, chuckling nervously.

"It's all good Miss Waldorf, anyways you will be starting next week. I know you are based in Washington, but if you have any associates around the Los Angeles area, you can stay with them." Laura told me, all did was respond with a nod and a smile on my face "Yes... I will do that, thank you so much." I said as Laura ended the call.

After my run, I headed straight to my apartment and called up my bestfriend Jackie, I know it's crazy that I am calling my internet friend before my parents who have been bugging me to get a proper job. I met Jackie through our shared interest and love for Hailee Steinfeld, thanks to the website "Twitter", I was blabbering about Hailee on the site as usual and then she asked if we can be mutuals on that site  and we have been inseparable ever since also Jackie lives in Los Angeles around West Hollywood so I can crash at her place. 

"Jackie!" I said with a proud tone, running around my apartment like I am a dog who just got the zoomies. 

"Y/N/N! Hey, what's up?" Jackie asks me, I settle down on the couch and clear my throat. 

"Girl guess what?" I ask her, I cant contain my excitement as a huge grin forms on my face.

"What?" She asks me back.

"I got a job!" I exclaimed, not telling her what my job is and who I work for just yet to build the suspense.

"No way, congrats girlie! What job?" Jackie asks.

I clear my throat again, a smirk forms on my face "Personal assistant." I confidently say.

"For?"

"Hailee Steinfeld." I responded, giggling like a teenage girl. I heard Jackie scream on the other line, causing me to laugh at her response "Yes, I am being serious Jackie. And I need to crash at your place." I told her.

"Oh my God sure, you are free to stay at my place... holy shit... You bagged a good job." Jackie compliments me and all I can do is laugh.

"It's insane, I know." I said, smiling "I start next week, and I gotta tell my parents about it as well." I added.

"Well you better tell them, girl." Jackie encouraged me, I can tell that she's leaning against a wall and smiling with her phone on her hand.

"Of course, I'll tell them and I will drive by there tomorrow." I said, ending my call with Jackie.

I told my parents about the job that I got, their reactions were positive and they supportive of me moving from Washington to California the next day. But my grandparents are huge conspiracy theorist believers, they start to talk about random things about the entertainment industry and my parents just shook their heads and told me to ignore them and enjoy my job. And in the words of my mother, she told me that this job is a once in a life time opportunity and I should savor every moment. Which I will, cause I have a feeling that working with your idol will be one of the best experiences I will have in my life time.

I spent the entire day packing my things for California, and It's a good thing that my sister, Kelly is down to look after and live in my apartment for the mean time. I love my sister, I would die for her. 

The next day, I finally left Washington and headed to California. I decided to take my car and drive, it feels like a road trip with yourself and it's very therapeutic. I suggest that you try it, I spent the entire road trip blasting out Taylor Swift, eating convenient store food, sleeping in my car in empty parking spots. 

The trip lasted for 17 hours, and 17 hours later I arrived in sunny Los Angeles. The last time I was in Los Angeles was when I was 15, when I first met Jackie and we saw Hailee live when she opened Charlie Puth. I took time to look around the surroundings as I drove to where Jackie lives, a smile forms on my face and it made me realize that this will be the start of a new chapter of my life and I hope this one will never end.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

I just read two rumors:

King Charles is going to host Trump at Balmoral.

Will and Kate, not Charles and Camilla, are going to the US for a state visit.

(I personally hope neither of them are true because I'm an American C&C fan who doesn't like Trump. I want Trump to stay away from Balmoral and I want Charles and Camilla to come visit America.)

Do you think the reports are accurate? #1 was reported on The Sun and the Daily Express and #2 was reported on Hello and Marie Claire.

Let's see what happens when Kier Starmer is actually here. Things in the administration are changing literally by hour and the feds all have whiplash with how quickly things are being ordered, then undone, then redirected, then cancelled, then reinstated, rinse and repeat.

But what is true is that there will be a royal visit to the US next year. It's the 250th anniversary of the country's founding and the royals will be part of the commemoration. Whether it's Charles and Camilla or the Waleses, it's TBD.

My guess is that given how much the President likes pomp and circumstance, it'll be Charles and Camilla so he can get his photo op but if it's the Waleses, the rules will be rewritten so they can bring pomp/circumstance/tiaras too for the President's photo op.

The events/schedule for the 250th anniversary haven't been released yet. That probably won't come till the fall at the earliest, late winter (this time next year) at the latest. But DC has started planning and you can find information about that here:

But do be warned that it will be v-e-r-y crowded with tourists here so if you do decide to visit, pack your patience. A lot of it. Especially July 4th weekend.

(Also maybe don't come July 4th. It's always disgustingly hot - remember DC is on a swamp - and all the tourists that pack in for the fireworks make it even muggier and hotter. Watch the July 4th fireworks on TV and come for the cherry blossoms in mid-March, the Memorial Day concert, or the changing leaves in October instead.)

[seriesxwriting]

Hello can i ask for Damon Salvatore x Fem!Reader where the reader is in a relationship with Damon and he arranges a romantic evening for her (rose petals scattered in his bedroom, candles, wine or champagne and a bathtub filled with foam) and he does it because he knows that the reader is studying and worked hard for her exams?

This is a great idea!! I feel like now is a good time to write it as I’m currently taking my A level this month ahah. Thank you for the request <3.

Won’t you spend a little time with me

Pairing: Damon x Fem!Reader

Series: The vampire diaries

Summary: Request: Damon won’t leave you alone even though you’re trying to see exams. You don’t believe he understands the stress you’re under but oh how wrong you are.

Warnings: kissing, maybe swearing.

“Yeah well I just have to cover component two section A to E over this weekend” I told Bonnie as we exited the school building through the double doors. “I remember when a weekend meant freedom” she sighed putting on her sunglasses, making me wish I had my own ones as the sun was so bright. “I don’t, it was so long ago”. Bonnie chuckled at my joke shaking her head. “Well, not long left I suppose, we only have three more exams after the weekend and then we’re… donezo Washington” she rubbed her hands together excitedly.

“I suppose that’s a good way to look at it- but we’ve actually got to get through the week and I have to get through the weekend ignoring Damon’s pestering” I rolled my eyes which Bonnie saw. “Is he still not leaving you alone? Don’t he understand not everyone is imortal and some of us need grades” Bonnie put her head to once side as we continued walking round the building towards her car.

“Don’t get me wrong I want to see him, but balancing a boyfriend and exams is just so difficult, he just doesn’t understand that these are my priority just as much as he is” I explained in a low tone but when I looked to Bonnie she’d stopped in her tracks. I frowned confused and she lifted her hand to her sunglasses sliding them down to her nose. “You were saying?” She whispered looking straight. I followed her eye-line looking at what she was gawping at. Damon. There he was, sitting in his car with the roof down, engine on and blasting music from his radio.

Not that he was even listening to it, he was too busy scrolling on his phone. “God, he’s so difficult some times” I sighed watching him, deciding what I was going to say to him. “I suppose you’ll get a lift off him then, don’t need me” Bonnie cracked a smile nudging me. “I’ll see you Monday, I’d hug you but my hands are full with these stupid books” “see you Monday girl” she giggled waving and walking off to her car. I took a deep breath in and strode towards Damon. “What are you doing here?” I stood by his door and raised an eyeshadow.

“Well hi there gorgeous, what’s your name” he joked with a smirk looking me up and down. “What are you talking about gorgeous I’ve had no sleep for a month, I look and feel like a zombie” I replied walking round to my passenger princess side, in a slightly grumpy mood. Damon, like a gentleman, opened the door for me seeing my hands were full. “You’re always gorgeous to me y/n, you don’t have to worry about that” he smiled putting his head on his shoulder. Now that I had a free hand I was able to turn the volume down on the radio so I could talk to him without it sounding like we were in a club.

“What are you doing here Damon?” I asked in a repeated grumpy tone. “What’s it look like? I’m picking you up” he replied shrugging and gesturing to his blue car. “Yes but why? I told you Bonnie was talking me to home” “because you’re not going home I’m taking you to mine” he smiled softly at me, it was so hard to be mad at him because he was so sweet but I was sick of his lack of understanding towards how important these exams were to me. “I also told you I had to revise and couldn’t see you tonight” “I know…” he trailed off in a lower tone which made me think I’d hurt his feelings.

“I made plans for us that’s all” “Damon I have one week left of this revision shit and then I’m all yours, I don’t know why you don’t understand how important these exams are to me, they are my future, I’m stressed as fuck I just need to be revising” I told him straight but his eyesight trailed off and he began awkwardly playing with his fingers on the steering wheel. “…I can take you home if you’d prefer” he answered not looking at me. I sighed knowing now that I’d definitely hurt his feeling and scooted over laying my head on his shoulder and wrapped one arm around his neck.

“No, take me to yours, we can spend a little time together before you take me home- it’s not like I haven’t missed you” “no y/n it’s okay, I’ll take you home” “I don’t want to go home anymore Damon, I want to spend some time with you so take me back to yours” I laughed shaking my head, trying to lighten the mood just a little bit. But Damon wasn’t really interested. I suppose the time I spent with him to night wouldn’t be and nice as I’d hoped due to me being a bit too harsh and taking out my tiredness on him.

“Are you sure?” He breathed turning his head slightly towards me. I kissed his cheek before resuming back to my seat. “Yes, I’m sure” I nodded putting my hands on my lap, sitting back and waiting for him to pull off.

Damon didn’t say a word on the way back home unless I made a conversation. To that he would answer using minimal responses as if he was challenging himself to answer using as few words as possible. I eventually got tired of small talk and just looked out the window thinking about how I could make it up to him. We eventually pulled into his drive and got out the car. “I’m sorry” I blurted out. “I’m not angry at you y/n” Damon sighed walking towards the door and away from the conversation.

“But you are- I know my words weren’t- well worded in the best way but my point was still valid Damon” I told him trailing after him. He stopped at the door with the key hesitating. “If-you wanna go home? I’ll take you home” he shrugged finally looking at me. “No” I rolled my eyes shaking my head. “I just want you to understand the importance of revision for me and understand that we’re both in the wrong- you deliberately ignored my plans just so you could get me here to stick a film on for two hours and possibly get some action half way through it” I folded my arms but as soon as I said that i regretted it.

I saw his face change, his jaw locked but his eyes they stayed the same. I saw the hurt in them. “I’ll drive you home” he told me in a very neutral tone. “No we’re going to go inside and talk about this” I shook my head grabbing the key out of his hand as he walked past me heading back to his car. “I don’t want to argue with you Damon” I sighed unlocking the door “I don’t want to leave things bad between us” “wait y/n!” Damon threw his hands out as I pulled open the door. Peering inside the house I noticed a whole bunch of rose petals on the floor.

They were bright red and began from the door and trailed all the way to the stairs as well as up them. “What’s this?” I blinked after not saying anything for a while. “Nothing let me just take you home”. Hundred’s probably thousands of rose petals were placed carefully on the ground. “D- did you do this?” I whispered turning to look at him now. “…Yeah” he sighed putting his hand behind his head. “For me?” I questioned in a quieter voice. He nodded slightly looking at me subtly.

I didn’t know what to say but I did knew I felt guilty. Very guilty. “C-can I follow them?” I stuttered watching them rustle as the breeze came through the door. “Do what you like y/n” he shrugged standing up straight. I stepped inside the house after watching him for a few seconds. Onto the rose petals I walked and slowly while admiring them I followed the trail towards the stairs. They went up as if it was a huge wave coming towards me but with each step I felt more and more guilt sink in.

They lead me into Damon’s bedroom. Where on the bed there was a huge box of chocolates and a bottle of champagne. The petals then led into the bathroom where there was a huge bubble bath when I went round the corner. Candles everywhere I looked, they lit up the place so the lights didn’t even need turning on. I stood in awe as I heard Damon creeping up the stairs. “Damon” I turned to look at him.

“this is all new to me y/n… being with- a human is new- it takes some getting used to but I wish you knew how hard im trying” he replied before I could even get a word out. “I see that now- I see how blind I was damon, I was being selfish and I was horrible to you and you- you were so sweet” I sniffed as ny eyes started to fill up. I slowly walked to the bed wiping my tears away that had trickled down my face.

“Don’t cry y/n- I probably should have gone about it in a different way- you did tell me you were busy tonight and I did ignore that” he sighed walking over and putting his arm around me. “Don’t do that, you’re not in the wrong I spoke to you awfully and you only ignored it so you could do all these sweet things for me- you wasn’t being selfish like I was” I shook my head crying onto his shoulder now. “I knew you were stressed I just wanted you to have one relaxed night so you don’t overwhelm yourself with work- I know you have a tendency to do that” he giggled squeezing me.

“I’m sorry for what I said, you’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met- no one has ever done anything like this for me before, my heart just melted” I sniffed looking up into his eyes. “You deserve this y/n you’ve been working so hard” he rubbed my arm softly. “But I would never pull you away from somewhere to be selfish and get some- action” he continued in a more stern voice making it clear he didn’t like that comment. “I know I know- it was stupid to say I was pissed it just fell out- I regretted it as soon as I said it I promise” I shook my head sniffing.

“I know you did babe I saw it in your eyes, just wanted to highlight it- So stop crying and let’s open this drink” he smiled leaning in for a quick kiss. I held his face as he drew back smiling and pulled him back in again this time for a little longer. “I love you Damon, so much” I whispered rubbing my thumb across his cheek.

“I love you y/n, always”.

Masterlist

All series masterlist

The vampire diaries masterlist

Damon Salvatore masterlist

(Having a boyfriend is cool but it’s hard when you have to juggle exams and a relationship. Having to choose between revising for an exam that could affect your whole future and spending time with the person you see as your future. But just remember it’s temporary, and your partner will want you to do well, they will want the best for you. Exams are the priority and don’t let anyone take that away from you and don’t feel guilty putting yourself first, they should want to see you succeed. So do what you feel’s right.)

[meazalykov]

redirection II

esmee brugts x barcaplayer!R

last chapter: redirection I

next chapter: redirection III

walking into my apartment, i shut the door and place my black nike sports bag on the bench in the foyer. there was a light breeze in the kitchen because i left the balcony doors open when i left home this morning.

i didn't want to do anything right now since i had a busy morning. i had to wake up at 6am, eat breakfast, get to ciutat at 8am, complete paperwork and contracts, do medical tests, take pictures for my first day, and have my first training practice with the team.

the excitement in my body wouldn't go away though. barcelona is the best club in the world currently, i had high hopes for this season and just want to contribute to the team.

turning on my phone that was in my back pocket, the time read 1:23pm. well, in europe it's 13:23. however, it would take me a while to get used to that as an american.

i saw a few texts from a phone number i didn't recognize too.

hi y/n!

what time are you free later?

we should go to la selva. it's a restaurant in the city. i haven't been there before but ingrid recommended it :)

i blushed as i remembered the conversation with esmee earlier. i appreciated the idea of going out to eat with her, i want to build bonds with my new teammates the same way i had with my old teammates back in washington.

considering that i've met her today, i couldn't say that i had a crush on her (yet). that would be too fast. however, i thought about her on the drive back to my apartment. i'm excited to spend time with a new friend and teammate.

y/n: esmee!!!!

y/n: i'm free around 17:00/5pm. i have to do some things for my apartment and i'll be ready.

y/n: i just looked up the location to la selva restaurant. it's not too far from my apartment. it's a 6-minute walk from me :)

i added esmee's phone number into my phone as "esmee :)" before i clicked off of imessage to go on instagram. clicking on my notifications, i saw "esmeebrugts followed you 5d" meaning that she followed me five days ago.

going on her profile, i see that some of my friends back in america follow her and she follows a couple of them back. everyone kind of knows each other in this sport so i am not surprised.

i don't go on instagram when i am not posting, so i felt bad when i saw that she followed five days ago. i followed her back immediately.

s/n went back to america earlier with our mom and i miss her already. we walked on the barceloneta beach before dinner last night, celebrating my new life in spain. she took pictures of me and i feel happy enough to post them on instagram.

(pretend this is you in the pictures)

y/n.l/n

barcelona, catalunya, españa

liked by esmeebrugts, sscofff, and 41,375 others

loving barcelona already 🌞💙

comments

y/nhive THE PRETTIEST

ingrid_engen So cool 😍

malpugh obsessed with you 🥹

woso21 when she scores in her debut I will be there

leahwilliamsfan8967 ME TOO!

randomuser267 Golden girl '23 ❓

janafernandez3 🥰

trinity_rodman 🔥🔥🔥

-

when i told esmee that i had to do things for my apartment before the dinner, i wasn't lying. throughout the past week i've been decorating my apartment so it felt like home. i know it will take a while to get used to this place, since i am across the atlantic ocean in a new country away from my old home.

three hours had passed and i've finished completing everything for my apartment. i picked up my phone from the coffee table and the time read 4:12pm/16:12. i saw i've received 5 text messages from different people:

esmee :) 2hrs ago: la selva isn't far from me as well, see you at 17:00!

trinity r 2hrs ago: heyy girl! how's barcelona?

emily f 2hrs ago: sent 2 tiktok attachments you at camp 😭💀

unknown number: hi its ingrid!

the first person i texted back is ingrid, i gave her my number before she left training earlier with mapi. i changed her contact name to just "ingrid e".

y/n: hi ingrid!

i texted trinity back as well, saying that barcelona is great and asked her how she's doing back in washington. i reacted to esmee's message with a like and emily's with the "haha" reaction.

i had about 45 minutes until i had to meet esmee at la selva, so i quickly went into my bedroom and changed into a different outfit than what i had on this morning.

deciding to do my usual hairstyle (imagine whatever you want, reader <3), i placed on a bit of brow gel, concealer, mascara, blush, and lip balm as part of my makeup routine. i constantly checked the time on my phone, making sure that i am not late to meeting esmee. i promise this obsession over the time just isn't due to my interest in her; with friends i'll try not to disrespect their time by being late to an event.

after putting on my outfit (photo above^), I checked the time and it's finally 4:45/16:45. i grabbed my purse, put on my sandals, made sure to lock my apartment door, and followed my phone gps towards la selva.

stepping outside, the warm weather with the nice breeze made me smile. my white oversized button-up shirt flowed with the soft breeze. usually, my social anxiety would plague my thoughts about hanging out with someone new in my life. i used to feel shaky and hesitant about these situations. however, i promised myself that i would be more open with others once i came to spain.

i turned the corner away from my street, heading to walk straight for about a quarter of a mile. suddenly, i saw a group of girls. one girl had box braids with a nice orange sundress on. another girl was a redhead with freckles, wearing a pair of jean shorts with a green shirt. the third girl, who was closest to a restaurant door they were standing out of, was a brunette and wore a 22/23 barcelona kit with a pair of light-washed jeans. these girls were a few years younger than me, if i had to guess.

when the girl in the barcelona shirt saw me walk by her, she gasped before coming up behind me and tapping me on the shoulder. i didn't walk past her to ignore her, i figured that since i'm new to barcelona i wouldn't be recognizable yet.

"are you y/n l/n? you look so pretty in person. sorry i- um- wow i am such a fan of your talent." the shy girl spoke with a spanish accent. i smiled at her as her two friends stood behind her, looking at me with admiration too.

"thank you so much! i appreciate your kind words." i responded.

the girl pulled out her blue-cased iphone to give to her friend, "can i take a picture with you?" she asked. i responded yes kindly.

after taking pics with the three girls, i continued to walk to the restaurant. turning onto the street where la selva was, i heard my imessage notification go off in my back pocket.

i clicked on my lock button to see that i received a text message from esmee. the time is currently 4:57/16:57. the restaurant is in view from where i am walking so i wasn't late.

esmee: i am here! i got us a table already so i am inside.

y/n: i am right outside. heading in now :)

as i approached the restaurant, i stopped and took a deep breath as my nerves started to increase in unfamiliarity. my social anxiety won't ruin this potential friendship i want to have.

i smiled in awe when entering the steakhouse. the place has beautiful lighting, nice vinery, and was pretty spacious. there was nobody up front at the hostess station, so i continued to walk into the restaurant to find esmee.

as i turned the corner, i saw the dutch girl sitting. she had her familiar braids with her back facing towards me. she's looking down towards her lap so i know she is on her phone.

if i knew her well enough, i would've scared her from behind. a "boo!" could've been funny. oh well, next time i will.

"esmee!!!" i said, going to sit down in the seat across from hers. the chairs in the restaurant were hanging from the roof, the whole area was pretty.

"y/n hey!" esmee clicked off of her phone and placed it upward on the table. i placed my bag in the chair beside my left leg before i fully acknowledged esmee's appearance.

i cannot deny it. i found her attractive since seeing her at training this morning. she had this shy and sweet aura to her. don't get me started on her adorable smile…

she wore a black nike hoodie and had on a nice gold necklace. i can't see her pants from below the table, but i believe i saw black cargos when walking towards her from behind.

"i'm sorry i am a little late, a fan recognized me and asked me for a photograph." i giggled. i knew i didn't have to apologize because it was exactly 5:00/17:00 when i arrived, i just hoped that she didn't wait long.

"it's totally okay! i just sat down when i saw your message about you being outside." esmee responded. the dutch accent when she speaks english is pulling me in, emotionally, as i look at her with a smile.

be cool, y/n. i thought to myself.

"okay that's good. i didn't want to keep you waiting." i commented.

"you're fine, no worries… so i see a fan recognized you already." esmee said with her recognizable smile.

i laughed lightly and was going to respond until a waitress came up to our table.

"hi, i'm maria, i will be your server tonight. can i get you started with any drinks?" the brunette, who had french braids in her hair, smiled at us.

i looked at esmee, seeing if she wanted to answer what she wanted first. she nodded her head at me, offering for me to go first. we nearly laughed before i said to maria, "i'll just take a water." esmee wanted the same thing and maria smirked at us before walking away.

"yeah, a fan did recognize me. she had on a pedri shirt and stared at me walking by her before she stopped me for a picture. she had her friends with her and they were so kind." i said.

esmee nodded her head, "that's good. i'm glad they were kind to you."

"same, the last thing i need for the end of my first week in spain is a mean person coming at me." i shook my head at the possible thought.

"have you had any fan interactions here since tuesday?" i asked esmee. it's monday today so esmee arrived in barcelona before i did.

"i had a few actually. a few oranje fans saw me and asked for a picture. i went to mexico with the team for a friendly on thursday and was able to meet more fans there too." esmee commented. the barcelona team had a friendly in mexico against club america from what i saw on their instagram pages. my contract wasn't signed until a few days ago, when they came back to barcelona, so i wasn't able to go.

"you're so lucky! how was mexico?" i smiled.

esmee looked up, thinking about her few days for the club america friendly, before looking back at me with a smile.

"mexico was fun. we didn't walk around or do much. however, i saw an old teammate from psv that plays at club america so that was nice. uh… it was nerve-wracking too." esmee said.

"i understand, it was your first time playing with the team. friendly or not. being nervous and excited is normal." i validated her feelings.

"that's true. i did good in mexico so the worry was for nothing." esmee lightly laughed as i looked at her with a blush.

maria came by with our waters and asked what we wanted to eat. realizing that we spent most of our time talking instead of looking at the menu, we asked for a few extra minutes. the waitress accepted it and smiled before walking away, giving us time.

esmee and i looked through the menus deciding what we wanted. most of the menu was in spanish, so we had to flip to the english part of the menu. while looking through the menu, esmee and i didn't talk. the silence between us wasn't awkward since there was a nice jazz song playing throughout the restaurant.

"have you ever had salmon?" i asked esmee. the girl looked at me with a smile before nodding. i smiled back before saying, "i never had salmon before. the salmon with pineapple and avocado sounds good though."

"you never had salmon before? you should try it, it's good." esmee said as she looked back at her menu.

"okay, i'll try that." i closed the menu and placed it in front of me on the table. esmee looked at the menu for a couple of more seconds before closing it as well, "i'm going to get the same thing." she smiled.

"copy cat." i joked.

"i am not copying you… you just have good taste." esmee rolled her eyes playfully which made me laugh.

"i'm just kidding es. you can copy me as much as you want to without me feeling annoyed." i smiled before freaking out internally, "oh my god, i hope she didn't take that as flirting. i don't want to freak her out already." i thought. my face still had a smile and esmee lightly laughed so i dropped the thought.

after maria came back and we ordered our food, esmee and i took the opportunity to talk a lot more. we discussed our soccer/futbol journey before coming to barcelona, our families, our upcoming game with madrid cff, and our love for video games. we have a lot in common.

the dutch girl never mentioned having a girlfriend while she talked about the people close in her life, i took note of that.

maria came back with our food around 45 minutes after we ordered. esmee and i didn't talk much as we had our food but it's okay. again, the silence wasn't painful or awkward to me. other conversations from people around us and the light music kept my mind occupied.

i didn't want to stare at esmee, since that would be weird for our first time hanging out, but she looked so pretty. sometimes when i looked at her, she already looked at me with a shy smile. this made me blush, she noticed it but didn't say anything.

the check came back and the price wasn't expensive at all. esmee and i forgot to ask if we could split the check but we didn't want to bother Maria who is helping with other tables.

"I can pay for it!" I said as I placed my silver credit card on top of the receipt on the table.

esmee shook her head no as she placed her credit card on top of the receipt, handing me my card back.

"I offered to take you here so it's on me." the dutch said. she wasn't lying but i didn't want to make her feel obligated to pay for my food when i can.

"yeah but-"

"y/n, it's okay." esmee spoke softly before Maria took her card and walked away. I blushed knowing that I couldn't debate with the girl.

"okay but next time I am paying."

"there's going to be a next time?" esmee teased, her eyes filled with admiration.

"oh absolutely!" I said enjoying her company.

Next Chapter: Redirection III

a/n: long chapter, hope you enjoyed :)

[suriantei]

im gonna make this my sister’s ringtone

thinking about

[allthingsfangirl101]

Accidental Run-Ins – Timothy McGee

I walked into the coffee shop I hadn't been to in years. Everything looked the same. Same old booths. Same rickety stools. Same stale coffee smell. And as it would seem, the same customers.

"Y/N?"

I turned to see my childhood best friend sitting at the counter with a notebook in front of him. I smiled when I instantly realized what he was doing. Timothy McGee always wanted to be a writer.

"Well well well," I teased as I walked over to him. "Is that Timothy McGee or Thom E. Gemcity?"

I sat next to him as he looked away, struggling to hide his blush. "How'd you know?" He asked, his voice soft.

"I've known you since we were little, Tim. You always talked about what kind of books you'd want to write." I playfully nudged his shoulder as I added, "Besides, your picture is on the back of your book."

"Right," he laughed. He looked up at me and smiled. "It's really good to see you, Y/N," he said softly. "How long has it been?"

"I think the last time we saw each other was high school graduation," I smiled. "You went off to MIT to do great techy things. And clearly, you have. I hear you're a part of NCIS. The Navy cops?"

"I am," he said, going back to being slightly uncomfortable. Tim never did like talking about himself.

"I bet you have lots of stories," I said, trying to get him to open up. I paused before adding, "Probably enough stories we would have lots to catch up on?"

He looked up at me and I watched as he figured it out. I couldn't help but laugh when it finally clicked.

"I umm. . . I think I can. . ."

"You working a case right now?" I asked, ignoring the gnawing feeling that I should be working on my case.

"Actually, no," he said with a small chuckle. "For once, we aren't. Normally, whenever something comes up in my personal life, I'm always in the middle of a case."

"Your personal life?" I asked genuinely curious but covered it with a teasing question.

"What little personal life I have," he scoffed.

"Can I get you a refill?" The barista asked Tim. I smiled when he turned toward me.

"Y/N, do you want anything?" He asked.

"Just a latte for me. Thanks," I said.

Tim and I spent the entire morning at our old coffee shop. We talked about almost everything that's happened in our lives since we last saw each other. After about two hours and three refills, Tim's phone rang. I instantly recognized the sigh and the look of defeat.

"Take it," I said before he could tell me it was work. He sent me an apologetic look before answering his phone.

"McGee."

I hid my smirk behind my cup as I finished my coffee. As he talked to someone he called, "DiNozzo", I got a text.

Wilson Got another body. Might be our 2nd in command.

"Son of a bitch," I mumbled under my breath.

"Everything okay?"

I looked over to see Tim no longer on the phone. "Just work," I said instantly. "I've got this big project and my boss is hounding me the closer we get to the deadline."

"You never did tell me what you do for work," he said, clearly forgetting the call he just got.

"Nothing too crazy," I laughed off the lie. "I work for an advertising company. They're branching out so they moved me and some of the other employees here."

"I'm glad they did."

"Me too," I said honestly. When I got transferred to Washington DC, I never thought I'd run into Tim McGee.

Tim opened his mouth to say something but his phone started ringing again. "I'm on my way," he snapped as soon as he answered. He instantly hung up the phone and turned toward me. "I really want to keep talking, Y/N, but I gotta go."

I reached over and gently put my hand on his arm. "It's okay," I tried to assure him. "I should be going too."

I grabbed a napkin and quickly wrote my number on it. When he realized what I was doing, Tim grabbed his NCIS business card and wrote his cell on the back. With awkward chuckles, we exchanged them. I leaned over and kissed his cheek before leaving the coffee shop.

For the first time in four years, I hated working for the FBI.

* * * * *

I walked out of the briefing room and answered my phone. "What can I do for you, Agent Gemcity?"

"Ha ha," he sarcastically laughed. "Are you busy?"

I looked over my shoulder to see my team focused on the evidence board. "Not at all," I smiled. "What did you have in mind?"

"Well, I was just thinking about yesterday at the coffee shop," he stuttered. "To be honest, I haven't stopped thinking about it."

"I haven't stopped thinking about it either," I said honestly.

"Really?" Tim cleared his throat before asking, "Any chance you want to get dinner?"

"You sure you can get away from NCIS?" I asked, wondering if I would be able to get away from the FBI.

"We're not working on anything too big. We're still following a few leads," he said, sounding like he was shrugging. "You free?"

"I think I can sneak away a little early," I smiled. "Text me the address and the time and I'll be there."

"Great," Tim chuckled. "I'll find a place and let you know."

"Sounds good."

I got a text from Tim a few hours later. That night, we went to dinner. We continued talking about our lives after high school and soon transitioned to reminiscing about our lives together before and during high school. After dinner, Tim and I walked back to his car. We didn't get in though. Instead, we turned toward each other.

"It was really nice catching up with you," I said softly when I realized how close we were.

"It was," he whispered. "This is going to sound horrible, but I didn't realize how much I missed you until the moment you walked into our old coffee shop."

I let out a small chuckle as we got closer. I held my breath as our lips finally touched. The second they did, we deepened the kiss. We broke the kiss when we ran out of air.

"You know," Tim said slowly, "the night doesn't have to end here. We could. . . continue it."

I smirked as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I like the sound of that."

Without a word, we got in the car and Tim drove us to his apartment. I couldn't fight the smile that formed as I walked in. The first thing I noticed was his bookcase. I walked over and started scanning the titles. I felt him step up behind me. To tease him, I grabbed the copy of his book off the shelf and turned toward him.

"Mr. Gemcity, I am such a big fan. Would you mind signing this for me?"

Tim just smirked at me as he grabbed the book out of my hand and, without breaking eye contact, tossed it onto his table.

"I'm not Gemcity to you," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into his chest. "I'm just Tim."

"Well, just Tim," I teased, "where were we?"

"Right here," he mumbled as he pressed his lips to mine. I let out a small moan as I threw my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. Without breaking away, Tim picked me up and carried me into his bedroom.

We finally broke the kiss when Tim laid us down with him hovering over me.

"I've waited years for this," he whispered, sending chills down my spine.

Without breaking eye contact, I grabbed the bottom of his shirt, pulled it over his head, and tossed it across his room. He sent me a small smile before doing the same to my shirt.

"So have I, Tim," I whispered. "So have I."

* * * * *

After our first date and our night together, Tim and I fell back into our usual sync. We've been dating for a month and I still haven't told Tim that I actually work for the FBI. It wasn't normal for FBI agents to keep their job a secret but mine usually leads to undercover work. My director prefers my job to be kept a secret so I can continue safely going undercover.

Having kept this secret for so long, you wouldn't think it bothered me. And it didn't. Until I started dating Tim.

He's been completely honest with me. He's always honest when he has to rush off for work. He's always honest when he has to stay late for a case instead of meeting me for dinner. He's always honest when a case has been rough and he needs a distraction. And here I was, keeping a huge part of myself hidden from him.

"Are you listening, Agent Y/L/N?"

"Yes, sir," I said.

"Great," he said, slightly rolling his eyes. "So, we've set up a buy for you. We want you to go undercover."

"Of course you do," I scoffed as I stood up. "Heaven forbid you send anyone else."

"But you're the best, Y/N," my coworker Agent Wilson said sarcastically.

"Yes, she is," Agent Fornell snapped. "Look, Y/N, I know we send you undercover a lot and I'm sorry, but you really are the best."

"Yeah yeah," I brushed off. "Stop buttering me up and just tell me my cover."

Fornell handed me a file as he started to recite from it. "Your name is Lily Walters. You are the newest recruit."

"How the hell did you get me in?" I couldn't help but laugh.

"We have our ways," Fornell shrugged. "The meet is in two hours. You good?"

I grabbed my phone when it started to ring. "Yeah," I sighed as I stood up and started walking out of the room. "I'm always good."

I walked down the hall into my office and answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey," came Tim's soft voice. "Did I catch you at a bad time?"

"No," I sighed. "I'm sorry, baby. It's just one of those days, ya know?"

"Unfortunately, I do know."

"Sounds like you're having one of those days too," I said gently. "Another case?"

"A bad one," he said, "which means I'm going to have to cancel dinner. I'm really sorry, Y/N."

"It's okay," I said gently. "I understand. I'll probably be working late too. Just stay safe, okay?"

"I will," Tim said with a small chuckle. "I'll call you later?"

"I'll be waiting."

I hung up the phone and turned around to see Fornell standing in my doorway. "What?" I sighed, crossing my arms over his chest.

"How's Agent McGee?"

"He has no idea I'm Agent Y/L/N," I scoffed.

"That's not why I asked," Fornell said, putting his hands up in defense. "I know it's not easy."

"Not easy?" I snapped. "Of course, it's not easy lying to the man I love."

"The man you love?" He asked. "I thought you were just dating McGee."

"I've known him since we were little," I sighed, defensively crossing my arms over my chest.

"How long have you been in love with him?" Fornell asked, the tone of his voice turning slightly fatherly.

"Since high school," I shrugged, trying to ignore the guilt rising. The look on Fornell's face dropped.

"He doesn't know, does he?"

"No," I said under my breath as I looked at my feet. "He doesn't know how I feel or that I work for you."

"Damn," Fornell sighed. "I'm sorry, Y/L/N."

"You wimping out on us?" Agent Wilson laughed.

"Never," I said between my clenched teeth.

"Good," he said, his smirk falling. "Cause we need to get a few things before the meet."

* * * * *

I resisted the urge to fix my earpiece. In all my years in the FBI, I've never enjoyed going undercover. Despite what Fornell wants me to believe, I know that the only reason I'm the one to go undercover is because I was young and female.

"You must be Lily."

I smelled the marijuana the second he walked up to me. I slowly turned around and crossed my arms over my chest.

"And you must be Andy," I sighed. "So much for not getting high off your own supply."

"It's not. . ."

"Don't," I cut him off. "You got the stuff or not?"

"You got the cash?" He snapped back. I grabbed the wad of cash out of my back pocket and dramatically showed it to him. He reached for it, but I pulled it back.

"Not until you show me the stuff."

He angrily grunted before digging through his backpack. I hid my smirk when he pulled out a ziplock bag full of coke. Before I could reach for it and arrest him, someone interrupted.

"Get on the ground!"

"NCIS!"

"Both of you, hands on the ground."

"Shit," I mumbled. The second I was surrounded by agents that weren't mine, my agents swarmed the building.

"FBI!"

"Federal agents!"

"Lower your weapons!"

"You lower your weapons!"

I was soon in the middle of an FBI and NCIS standoff. "Son of a. . ." I mumbled under my breath. I pushed down my anger as I turned and was face-to-face with a special NCIS agent.

"Y/N?"

I saw the color drain out of McGee's face when he saw me standing between the two groups of agents.

Andy tried to use the confusion as a distraction but I was faster. When he started to run, I quickly swiped his legs out from under him and got him under control. Once I had him handcuffed, I picked him up and tossed him to one of my agents. I turned around and saw I still had several guns pointed at me.

"Agents," I sighed, turning to my team, "meet NCIS. Special Agents Gibbs, Bishop, Torres and. . . McGee."

"What are you doing here?" Tim asked through his teeth. I let out a deep breath as I moved my jacket aside, showing him and his coworkers my waistband. I watched as McGee's eyes changed when he saw the gun and the badge on my hip.

"What the. . ."

"Is there something you want to tell us, McGee?" Agent Gibbs asked.

"I don't know myself," he mumbled.

I turned around and faced my team. "Can you give us a second? Something tells me NCIS didn't know we were working this case just like how we didn't know they were working this case."

The agents nodded, sending glances toward the NCIS agents. Once they were all gone, I turned toward McGee and his team.

"First, let me apologize, Agent Gibbs," I started. "I was not aware that the Navy was looking into our case."

"We weren't aware that our case was part of an FBI case," Gibbs sighed as he finally put his gun back in the holster. "We were investigating a lieutenant's death."

"A lieutenant?" I asked.

"Lieutenant Chance Taylor."

"Damn," I mumbled. "No one told me he was a Navy Lieutenant."

"Technically, he's not one anymore," Agent Torres said.

"That's interesting, but considering what we knew. . ." I said slowly as I tried to connect this to my case. I looked over to see Tim staring at me with anger in his eyes. "Tim, maybe we should. . ."

"Maybe the two of you can sort this out later," Gibbs suggested but it didn't sound much like a suggestion. "What does the FBI want with Lieutenant Chance Taylor?"

"Before I explain that," I said, feeling Tim's glare on me, "I just want to make it clear that we did not know Taylor was a Navy Lieutenant. If we had, I would've gone to your director right away."

"Really?" Tim scoffed. I ignored the feeling of my heart diving into my stomach.

"Yes," I said firmly. "I know you guys have had some issues in the past with the FBI, but I know the work you all do and I think it's valuable. I would never knowingly step on your toes, Agent Gibbs."

"I believe you, Agent. . ."

"Y/L/N," I finished for Gibbs. I resisted the urge to look at Tim. I didn't think my heart could take the anger in his eyes.

"Agent Y/L/N," Gibbs corrected himself. "Why don't you come back to our offices and we can figure out how our two cases connect?"

I finally looked at Tim to see him looking away, his glare now on something else in the room. I cleared my throat and turned my attention back to Agent Gibbs.

"I think that's a great idea."

* * * * *

As it turns out, NCIS's Lieutenant Taylor was the second in command of the drug cartel I've been chasing. He's been helping build the cartel's range by selling to Navy Petty Officers whenever their ship ported.

Through all the confusion and connection, I haven't had a chance to talk to Tim and explain everything. Once we connected and then proceeded to disconnect our cases, I left NCIS. As soon as I sat down at my desk, the look on Tim's face when he realized who I was popped back into my head.

I leaned back in my chair and ran my fingers through my hair. I already knew what he was probably thinking. I jumped up and quickly went to his apartment. When I got there, Tim wasn't home so I waited out front.

About an hour later, I was sitting on the ground in front of his door when I finally heard footsteps coming down the hallway.

"Y/N," he stuttered when he saw me. "What are you. . ."

"We haven't really had a chance to talk," I started slowly.

"Since FBI Agent Y/L/N interrupted an NCIS case?" He asked passively-aggressively as he forcefully unlocked his apartment and threw the door open.

"Tim," I sighed as I jumped up and followed him inside. I gasped when he angrily spun toward me.

"The FBI," McGee scoffed. "The FBI! You work for the FBI! How long have you worked for the FBI, Y/N?!"

"Almost four years." My answer made him angry.

"You told me that you were in advertising," he shot at me.

"I know," I cringed. "But I didn't have a choice."

"FBI agents don't keep their jobs a secret from the people in their lives," he accused. "You're not the CIA. Unless you are lying to Fornell, too."

"Come on," I sighed. "That's not fair, Tim."

"It's not?!"

"Fornell sends me in undercover," I tried to explain. "Whenever we need eyes on the inside, I'm the one that's sent."

"Why?" He demanded.

"Because I'm a girl," I scoffed. "And young. When I go in, I get ignored. I can walk into a bar and be completely invisible. The FBI loves that, so they always send me. That's why I couldn't tell you. They didn't want to risk my covers being blown."

"That's ridiculous," Tim scoffed. He thought about things for a second before saying, "You never once talked about wanting to join the FBI."

"That's because I didn't think about it," I shrugged. He started to say something but I cut him off, "Look, not all of us knew exactly what we wanted to do once we left high school."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"After we graduated," I sighed, "I didn't know what to do with my life. I never told you this, but I didn't apply to colleges our senior year."

"What do you mean?" He asked, finally calming down.

"You knew from the age of 8 that you were going to go to MIT and do something amazing," I said, walking over and sitting on his couch. "I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I wasn't even sure what college I should go to or what degree I should get. I had no idea what I wanted to spend the rest of my life doing, Tim."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Tim asked as he joined me on the couch.

"I was embarrassed," I whispered, not looking up from my hands.

"Too embarrassed to tell me?" Tim sighed as he reached over, gently grabbed my chin, and made me look at him. "I could've helped you, Y/N."

"I didn't want to hold you back," I said, my voice breaking. Tim leaned in and gently pressed his lips to mine. When he broke the kiss, he leaned his forehead against mine.

"I could've helped you figure it out," he whispered. My heart sank when he pulled away and I saw the look on his face.

"I swear, Tim, I didn't know that NCIS was working my case," I whispered. "If I had known you guys were focusing on Lieutenant Chance Taylor, I would've reached out and given you everything I had."

"You really didn't know?" He whispered. "You had no idea that we were working on the same case when we. . . The night we. . ."

"I didn't know until you and your team showed up at the drop," I tried to reassure him. "I swear, Tim. I didn't know when I ran into you at the coffee shop. I didn't know as we stayed until you got a call from work. I didn't know when you called me the next day. I didn't know when we went on our date. I didn't know as we went back to your apartment. And I promise, Tim, I didn't know as we spent the night together."

I was about to say more, but Tim grabbed my face and pressed his lips to mine. The second my lips touched his, I threw my arms around him and kissed him back. Without breaking the kiss, Tim laid me down and slightly hovered over me.

I wanted to shut out the world and focus on me and Tim, but something kept bothering me. It wouldn't leave my mind so I broke the kiss.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" I asked, slightly out of breath from the kiss.

"You mean your job at the FBI?" Tim asked.

"Our jobs might overlap," I shrugged. "And I've heard about Gibbs and his rules."

Tim laughed as he sat up, pulling me with him. I sighed as he pulled me into his side and relaxed on the couch. "Gibbs has a rule about coworkers dating, but I'm NCIS and you're FBI. It shouldn't be an issue."

"Are you sure?" I asked, my voice soft. Tim sighed as he tightened his hold on me.

"I'm sure," he said as he leaned down and kissed the top of my head. "As long as we don't have any more accidental run-ins, I think we'll be fine. I mean, we almost shot you today, Y/N. And if we had. . ."

"No more accidental run-ins," I said quickly when his sentence got stuck in his throat. "I promise."

Part 2