#earnest to a fault

[impossible-rat-babies]

I really should sit down and flesh out eyrie’s ex-wife because the two of them were quite close, and loved and understood each other a great deal. even if they did encounter each other as they are now, there would still be that recognition—the whole “despite everything, it’s still you.”

and the two of them could still see how they loved each other—what drew them to each other so long ago. the fragments of the people they were are still there, deep down.

[calicorobin]

guys who sit in front of you at the theater and talk during the entire duration of the movie

[bikananjarrus]

live action star wars is never going to give us the heartfelt emotional scene of ezra seeing lothal again for the first time, at least not in the way that we deserve. seeing him land on the planet and walking wistfully through the tall grasses, loth cats trailing in his wake; walking through the city with a bit of a heavy heart because these streets and buildings are so familiar, and yet so different at the same time, because the city has grown and thrived in the empire's absence. we're never going to see him crying quiet, joyful tears because he's finally home.

[casualavocados]

I asked myself why I failed to notice. It was the first time we'd been apart that long. I found the birthday gifts you prepared for me in my room, from my 18th to my 21st. ...Shut up. I started to think about what you were doing back then. Were you celebrating my birthday all by yourself?

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 12

[namisweatheria]

THE IDEA I JUST HAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My god.

Uhm. Uhm. Has anyone ever thought about... Well wait you know how Yamato decided to become a man like Oden... and basically seemed to have no attachment to his assigned gender at all... You know how I have said I see the same complete unattachment to gender... in Zoro....

What if.... Zoro, who does not care about being a boy or a man at all, decides to become a woman... to prove to Kuina's spirit and the world that being a woman doesn't mean you cant be the strongest?

Nonbinary trans butch Zoro.... Hello have we thought about this. *taps microphone* Is this thing on. Hello.

I think she would pursue medical transition as part of proving her point, ie, "see Kuina getting boobs would not have stopped you", and would be getting estrogen deliveries by bird lol. Which has potential to be a comically mysterious thing that they all try and fail to uncover the truth of. She would definitely fuck with them about it and give them all sounds of crazy red herrings. Despite not even really caring if they know, she trusts them, literally it's just for fun.

I think the clearest change this would cause to Strawhat dynamics is definitely her relationship with Nami. We all know how Nami feels about women. And being protected by them.... And I definitely see trans Zoro as a butch lesbian. ZoNa Yuri would be INTENSELY HOT AND ROMANTIC. Why haven't I seen this before actually it feels like it should be obvious.

If we include a tgirl Sanji headcanon as I know is much more popular (rightly so!) I think it would definitely help her coming out journey. I mean, to have someone on the ship who is already Doing That, would be monumental. If you keep their antagonistic relationship (as I would prefer to, at least in the beginning) then there is a lot of comedy potential as well as the obvious angst. Like I feel like finding out that Zoro is trans would definitely crack Sanji's egg but then it's like. Oh my god everyone is going to think I'm copying her. (<- no one would think this, she is crazy.)

It could be really fun!!!!! Think about it.....

[thatscarletflycatcher]

The thing is, I do love a cranky, sarcastic, clever, old man writer. I delight in Alasdair MacIntyre, and I have the time of my life reading Etienne Gilson too, even the times I disagree with them.

And then there's one Gilbert Keith Chesterton whom I find insufferable to read most of the time, unless it is fiction (The Man Who Was Thursday my beloved).

[prettyboykatsuki-moved]

a suo umemiya love triangle is funny because they're both extremely socially adept and emotionally in tune but suo uses this for evil and umemiya uses it for good and outwardly disapproves of how suo does things while also kind of guiltily finding it cute when u are frustrated. they are so funny in my mind

[mrswhymrhow]

do not become a closed off person. slowly take steps into opening up and discussing yourself. or you will become nothing

[best-character-named-x-poll]

have you done your daily click

[cdroloisms]

forgive me my demons but i see this take so much and it drives me a little crazy . c!Sam is stupid, obviously. He has no self-awareness, he somehow completely misses on the fact that his actions have social ramifications, he has a sense of entitlement a mile high and thinks that everyone automatically should fall in line and agree with his authority just because he decides that he has it. he navigates conversations with the grace of a wrecking ball because he assumes that everyone will agree with him being In The Right and therefore doesn't actually go for much more convincing half the time than "do what i say or you'll end up locked up in an inescapable prison." his moral compass is a roulette wheel and his justifications incomprehensible.

but at the same time, c!Sam is far from unintelligent. like, not just anyone was going to CREATE and then RUN pandora's fucking vault. he made a world eater ?? if there's like anyone on the server that could reasonably create shit to cause mass destruction across the server other than like the literal fucking nukes, then yeah it'd be him, see the world eater again. sure, he makes the craziest fucking assumptions off the fact that he's Right And Justified And The Ultimate Authority And Everyone Should Agree With That, but he's also able to lie and manipulate and gaslight and coerce and threaten pretty much without breaking a sweat if he ever deems doing so necessary for his own goals, and it's not like the methods by which he does so are like, all that clumsy either. like people absolutely bought his whole deal early on in the prison arc, believing him to be a well-meaning, burdened Warden doing Whatever It Takes for the good of the server, which did in large part have to do with how his character talked about the prison to others and such, etc. just because c!sam is crazy bonkers and expects his ex to forgive him chopping their arm off doesn't mean that he's completely incapable of being pretty damn convincing at some points.

and like, even more importantly, his being dumb really didn't make him ANY less intimidating. i'd argue that it made him A LOT WORSE, honestly! just because his moral bullshit is twisted up in knots doesn't mean that he's any less dangerous for it. c!sam is, honestly, from the top of my head, one of the most casual about being violent on the server, purely because he believes he has a Right to it. he believes that people owe him obedience by virtue of who he is. he threw several people into pandora's vault WITHOUT LIKE, ANYONE KNOWING just because he decided that they deserved to be put in prison. he kidnaps a toddler??? c!Sam really doesn't bend himself in half trying to justify things according to someone else's moral system; as he literally does in that one scene with c!Bad during the stream where they investigated Sam Bucket, he literally just. is the epitome of the guy that lets himself do shit because he has a self-written permit that says i do what i want. the only thing getting in the way of c!sam's bullshit is c!sam, and i think that people honestly chronically overestimate how much he holds himself back from horrific violence. he stabbed a teenager to Make A Point about his authority? he repeatedly threatens hannah, one of his own employees, because of things she did while being mind controlled--and then like, uses this to excuse himself of? workplace harassment? in the stream after techno escapes with dream, he literally MAKES UP A REASON to be really fucking angry at dream and then threatens TO TORTURE HIM over it. when new people joined the server he would threaten them with a sword for asking questions about the prison in a way that seemed too 'dream sympathetic.' and he regularly tells people that he would commit all the atrocities again, including ponk, because he's entirely 100% convinced that everything he does is justified?

and a lot of the stuff people hold against him, like. sure, his plan to contain technoblade didnt work, but it SURE DID WORK BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE THAT TRIED, DIDNT IT? like techno would've been decently screwed if he didn't have a statis chamber set up. and well, the situation with dream speaks for itself--he was stuck in there for ten months. a lot of what people attribute to c!Sam's stupidity really does very little if anything to make him less scary--less effective, maybe, but for every time his moral bullshit gets in the way of him getting something that he wants there's probably a few other times you can find where his ability to justify himself out of anything makes him do something fucking ridiculous . anyway i dont even have a point to all of this except c!sam is scary as fuck bro

[strawbbybnuuy]

That man is not a twink nor a beefcake but a secret third thing: an decently athletic fellow

[yeahivegotanaccount]

Crosscode is fun but exposes my failures as a non-gamer.

[ardenrabbit]

I love your fic - A Long and Slow Recovery. It’s so beautifully written and the emotions felt are so palpable. Just wanted to pass along my thanks for writing it!

Completely separate from the fic though- What are your thoughts on the Xianle trio - their break up and slow rebuilding of friendship in the novel. 😁

Thank you so much!!! ;-; I'm really glad you're enjoying alasr! I'm really proud and excited about it!

Ah I think about this a lot! As in, I think about it a lot to try and decide my thoughts lol. I'm actually rereading the whole novel rn to try and get a feel for everyone, especially the trio. I've been REALLY excited to write them.

Summary: I love them, I'm sad for them, and I wish them well. Rambling to follow:

So my opinion right now is I love them. I think Feng Xin and Mu Qing are really interesting as foils as well as just completely independent characters, and I love that Xie Lian can see them in both of those lights too. Neither Feng Xin nor Mu Qing are really understood or given enough credit by anyone except Xie Lian, and I don't know if any of them know what to do with that. The impression that I've gotten is that Feng Xin and Mu Qing don't even really want to understand each other, and that's really sad, but understandable. Feng Xin's straightforward form of loyalty doesn't translate to Mu Qing, and Mu Qing's fear that no one will ever care to see the best in him makes him preemptively prickly and eager to beat them to the punch, and that does not play well with Feng Xin's earnestness.

(I'm trying to figure out Mu Qing, especially. I like him as a character and want to do him unbiased justice while writing him, but he's such a unique, self-contradictory case lol. I've met people with his kind of defensive cynicism before--the "stop pretending to be a good person" mindset in the face of altruism--and I've always been annoyed with them as much as I pity them, but I like that he's such a realistic character in that way. I'm intimidated by the prospect of writing him but I'm looking forward to it.)

The Xianle trio breakup, to me, just shows exactly the differences in FXMQ's approaches to conflict. Feng Xin stays with Xie Lian as long as he does because it's a simple answer to him: he's Xie Lian's bodyguard and Xie Lian is his friend, so Feng Xin will stay because that's what is both honorable and personally loyal. It's the right thing to do, and it looks and feels right. Mu Qing leaves before Feng Xin does because 1) his mother needs him more and 2) he hopes he can help more by gaining power and resources elsewhere, because what they're already doing isn't working. It's the right thing to do, even when it doesn't look and feel right.

So at that point, Feng Xin displays the kind of loyalty that traditionally gets praised because it's shown in no uncertain terms, even when it's not performed in the most enterprising way. By the more cynical, Feng Xin's approach can be seen as short-sighted, naive, or even pretentious, when he's really just honest and incredibly steadfast. "Loyal to a fault" is canonically used to describe him somewhere. Mu Qing's integrity is easier to doubt by most people because 1) his reasoning can be interpreted as selfish, even when he's sincere and 2) his intentions aren't always purely good! He's a flawed person and his reasons for doing things can include pettiness and selfishness within the greater good intentions, but that doesn't discount the good in them, at least to Xie Lian. Even when Mu Qing is looking at the bigger picture, people can interpret that as him being cold and uncaring about the immediate problem, and he gets angry that he's the only person acknowledging the complexity or futility of the situation. Anyway, they both try their best to help Xie Lian Back Then and refuse to see the merit in what the other is doing. I forget exactly how much Xie Lian acknowledges that they're both trying to help, so, rereading lol. But Xie Lian is definitely Not in a good place and is definitely lashing out at everyone by the end, which I'm sure he feels ashamed of later.

And reconnecting and rebuilding the friendship!! When Xie Lian ascends again, "Fu Yao" and "Nan Feng" are sent to help him and of course their generals don't know about it. And Xie Lian sees through them pretty early and just doesn't mention it because he's a little shit (extremely affectionate), but he knows what they're doing and appreciates it. But FXMQ both feel like they've failed Xie Lian and want to make it up to him, whether he knows about it or not. And they have to work together to do it, as much as they hate it, but at least they recognize that they share that much in their priorities. I think that while it's ultimately hopeful and sweet, there's a lot about their reconnecting that's just straight up tragic. I'm assuming that FXMQ both feel so much shame and regret about what happened and how they left him, and now that they have another chance to help, the literal devil (extremely affectionate) walks in and takes their spot as Xie Lian's protector and right hand. I think Xie Lian still feels awkward around them, too, as much as he still loves them. I am really proud of them for talking it out as much as they do in the end, though. I need to reread some stuff to see how much they reconcile by the end and in the extras, but I remember it being a good prognosis.

I guess also, I think Feng Xin sees Xie Lian as someone he's been proud to serve and call his friend, because he believes in Xie Lian's ideals and good heart. Mu Qing, though, doesn't know what to do with this mixture of gratitude and the resentment that comes with being indebted to someone, especially because Xie Lian is the only person who's really shown that he believes in Mu Qing's potential, good intentions, and worth as a person. The classic "stop trying to be a good person, altruist" thing doesn't work on Xie Lian, because he really just IS that good, and I think that makes Mu Qing want to tear his own hair out as much as it makes him love Xie Lian. MQ and FX's opinions of each other, though, wow?? They're so convinced that the other's intentions are insincere (mq saying fx is holier-than-thou, fx saying mx is selfish), up until they're tested and they have to act together. They're competitive against one another, but they also know that they act well as a united front, so there has to be some grudging respect and extremely grudging trust there. It's funny how the breakup has FXMQ as divided, conflicting forces where in present day in the reunion, they're much more cooperative. Despite their issues, they've grown to speak the same language on some level.

Might have some serious errors in here lol, but I don't really think I have any particularly hot takes on the Xianle3. Again, I'm rereading the novel so I can get this stuff right, but pls forgive me if I'm off-base on something.

[pygian-weapon]

what if Nick isn't even real

[neverendingford]

.

[vilevexedvixen]

"I'm so glad you're real" - playlist