#easier to find and reread

[purgaytorysupremacy]

Sometimes Ronan thought Adam was so used to the right way being painful that he doubted any path that didn’t come with agony.

The Dream Thieves by Maggie Stiefvater

[daddyplasmius]

reread edited what currently exists of my DP Wolfwalkers AU fic. here are all my favourite lines in no particular order & lacking context

[r0semultiverse]

Eida knows Sarada & Sumire are immune to her abilities.

Whats weird to me is that Eida just doesn't further question that Sarada & Sumire are acting so normal, like I would have never bought Sumire's excuse. NO SHOT!

I think Eida is protecting those two from her clingy little brother.

She has stated before that she wants to have actual friends, but probably knows Daemon would try to kill them potentially if he figures it out (that part isn't so much stated but it's the way he's looking at Sarada & Sumire when he's considering they may not be affected).

He's overprotective, clingy, & overpowered; a terrible combination for her to be around in this case where she would like some actual friends. He's also very eager to fight people!

She 100% went along with Sumire's bullshit excuse to keep those two safe from her brother. She literally pauses for a moment before agreeing with them!

We'll see how good the excuse is when the official translation is out, but I think Eida's playing along so she can have actual friends around her. She knows whats actually going on here, she isn't a fool.

[crazy-fangirl2524]

THE TENSION BETWEEN KEVIN AND ANDREW AND THIS IS WHY THE ONLY TIME ANDREW SMILED SOBERLY IN THE BOOKS IS WHEN KEVIN CHANGED HIS TATTOO

[orcelito]

Went to a bookstore and im sitting in the cafe and it's giving me the wish to actually work on ITNL. Rereading, for now, bc I need to remember what it's all about. But it's still giving me motivation to do that that I didn't have before, so I'd say this outing of "go outside so we're not just rotting playing video games all day again" is a success!

I was also passing the funko pops section with the thought of "Only if they have a Meryl or Milly..." before immediately laying eyes on a Meryl. So I was just like Sigh. Okay.

So im getting her lol. Sadly didn't see a Milly, but I might just order her online since this'll put me at having Vash Wolfwood and Meryl, no Milly. Feels wrong. I need to complete the set.

Also getting some manga. Might as well start reading dunmeshi manga and all. Also getting this volume of p4 bc I remember really struggling to find it online back when I was trying to collect them back in... 2019 or so? So like might as well.

[jonquilandlace]

Probably cold take:

All books of essays/theory should have an abstract at the top of each chapter!!!

[rolandkaros]

💖📥🧑‍🧒‍🧒🌝 for the ask game - shapovalovvs 💌

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

answered here!

📥 What is your fave fic to receive comments/messages on?

honestly it changes a lot – usually it's just the most recent fic i've published, since i think i'm always proudest of my latest work. i think developing writing skills is a continual process, so it makes sense that the last piece that i've written (usually) contains what i consider to be my best writing.

👨‍👧‍👧 Do you tell people in real life that you write fic? 

not actively, no. i don't hide the fact that i've done it in the past (i mention it sometimes if i'm talking to someone who also seems to be active in fandom or otherwise into fanfiction) but i don't usually talk about my current writing.

🌝 Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

holger and elena. from a writing standpoint, fascinating to me for more or less the same reasons but kind of in opposite directions.

[namira]

[peppermintmochafem]

hi lovely 💖 I just wanna send you a digital forehead kiss, a big hug, a soft blanket, and your favorite lil beverage. and most importantly, I want to tell you—it wasn’t your fault, sweetheart. it is never our fault for being abused. you DO deserve a safe gentle tender caring loving relationship/sex/both, you are so inherently worthy as a person and you are so deserving of those things. this girl sounds like very bad news and you deserve better!!!!!! do not settle for this kind of treatment!!!! you are so loved, I’m sending you all the love in my gay lil heart. I hope you can feel a lil bit better today 🥺💖💖💖💖💖

I don't even know what to say just the fact that you would go out of your way to tell me this is so incredibly beautiful and you are just so lovely. reading this does feel like the softest forehead kiss. I hope you know how loved you are.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[arytha]

ok ok ok ok next novel... will be a mmo novel... may in fact not be a bl novel because my two candidates have stalkery MLs for no good reason. actually there's the other one but it glorifies the military and the author's leather f*tish in the last half and loses the plot (nothing against the k*nk i just dont care)

the other ones i have are esports which is different.............. but possible candidates

[idontdrinkgatorade]

i keep forgetting that i'm still in the middle of reading senyuu.....

[selkie-wizard]

if you don't know where to start with this, just pasting in your favorite lines from the fic into the comment box and adding "i like these!" underneath is so huge. when i'm leaving a comment on writing OR art i try to pick at least one or two things i really liked about it and mention those in my comments.

BTW i see these posts all the time like "ohhh i dont know what to comment on fics.." and every response is "keysmashes! or hearts!! anything works :3" and thats GREAT!! thats helpful!!

but: consider. if u genuinely like analyzing writing.. do u know ur just allowed to go through and quote your favorite parts and ramble abt what they mean to u and the author will LOSE IT WITH HYPE?

genuinely. i felt SO WEIRD the first time i did it.. but like. holy shit authors love it. its crack for authors. the first time i did it, it was on a fic that hadnt updated in half a year, give or take, and the author made 3 updates that month BECAUSE OF MY COMMENT.

LIKE. as an author every comment is INCREDIBLE!!! but also, dont feel like your comment has to be short or otherwise ur invasive or smth!! authors ADORE long comments more than ANYTHING.

[heartsburst]

i love watching brainless sitcoms. i miss so little if i feel like skipping an episode. it's so easy to just mow through episodes because you can throw them on in the background. they have a certain charm to them.

[oh-okay-kay]

i think about this paper a lot. it discusses a *very* biological perspective (mainly through the lense of Ca2+ homeostasis and physiology), rather than a social perspective, on how gender differs from sex, and still comes to the conclusion that there are pretty much infinite genders, as well as occasionally discusses how being gay or bi or whatever is evolutionarily just as valid as being straight. super interesting

"It will be argued that it follows from the principles of Ca2+- physiology and homeostasis that all individuals of a sexually reproducing animal population have a personalized gender behaviour. Thus, subdividing gender-behaviours in hetero-, homo-, bi-, trans- etc. which all result from a differential use of the very same basic physiological principles, is too primitive a system that may yield false sociological interpretations."

"The logical, not to say self-evident answer given to: Why do many, in particular higher organisms produce sperm and eggs? usually is: That is the condition to have (chances for) a progeny and for being evolutionarily successful. Yet, this answer implies that testes and ovaries are aware of the reproduction-oriented drive the whole organism might have. This cannot possibly be the case: ovaries and testes do not plan for the future by producing gametes. According to the current status of evolutionary theory, there is no goal whatsoever in evolution."

"There is no generally accepted definition of gender, because the concept itself is not static but dynamic... the meaning of gender depends on who uses the word, in what context, and for what ends."

"If the reproduction-related behaviour would only be determined by the same set of genes that govern gonad formation and differentiation, there would probably only be heterosexuality and no homosexuality. But homosexuality, bisexuality, asexuality etc. do occur. Thus, the observed variability in behaviour must be caused by a more complex (set of) mechanism(s) than just the few genes that govern gonad differentiation."

"In such conditions, thus when gender behaviour becomes very personalized, the number of possible gender forms will near the number of all constituting individuals of the whole population. Thus in our own species there are as many different gender variants as there are individuals, 7 billion plus. But the total number of genes coding for proteins present in the human genome is only about 20,000. In addition, there are also some 10,000 pseudogenes, some genes can be subject to epigenetic modifications, and the junk DNA (that does not code for proteins) also has some regulatory functions. Even if all this is taken into account, the discrepancy 7 billion+ versus some 30,000+ genes and pseudogenes, illustrates that gender must have a physiological basis that enables a huge variability that can unfold while making use of only a limited number of genes."

"Because, many people believe that reproduction has been created or has come into existence with the goal of a progeny, gender variants that do not aim at a progeny, will be perceived as unnatural or, in a religious context, even as sinners. But reproductive archaeology teaches us that sexual reproduction did come into existence as the result of a sort of bacterial infection, not at all with the goal of producing a progeny in a novel way, namely by making use of special sex cells (sperm and eggs). Of course, heterosexuality is also in such a context a seemingly more successful form because it enables a progeny. However, this is a fortuitous coincidental feature, which does not imply any (in the case of humans) moral superiority: all gender forms have a cell-physiological basis. They are all variants of the same basic model. The supposedly better (in the long-term) form for the entire population, the heterosexual one, only seems better because it occurs in a much larger percentage of the population, and because most people erroneously think that the production of gametes and fertilization has come into existence in the course of evolution with the goal of producing a progeny."

"In conclusion: In this paper I advanced the physiology-based view that there are probably as many different gender variants as there are sexually reproducing individuals, and this not only in humans. Hence, there is no need to make subcategories in the gender variants with the purpose to install a moral hierarchy as they are all physiologically equal."

also, as an ace, the line "Thus in this view, sexual reproduction results from an evolutionary ancient bacterial-type infection, with sub-lethal effects. Thus it is a mild disease" is very funny

can’t stop thinking about my friend’s cishet partner who said last night that he doesn’t think anyone is the same gender. god-tier take.

[arolesbianism]

Just wanted to drop in and say thank you for finding and posting the ONI logs that you do! As someone who loves the story of the game but absolutely would not have the energy to find all of the logs that aren’t on the wiki legitimately its nice to be able to see some of them. The one w/ nails in it is especially interesting! Nails was already one of my favorite dupes but that log made me like them even more tbh. Everyone say thank you to Human Nails™️ for making dupes like actually cognizant.

Also, saw your ONI stuff on artfight! I am absolutely not plotting and scheming anything at all i swear :]

Oghhhh tysm :')!!!! I've been feeling a bit self conscious abt my oni obsession lately so this means a lot! I still need to get around to making my oni story catalogue actually readable, I started a while back but ran out of steam after the like 50th incident with said one with Nails in it lol. And I actually recognized you from artfight! Saw your oni guys a few days ago and I'm honestly obsessed with them, it would be a shame if I had my hand forced and had to draw them :3c

[bowtiepasta]

SFW 𑣿 GOJO, GETO, SHOKO: “SOMEONE NEW”

nothing complicated i just miss sashisu like a mfer and needed a childhood friend to college pipeline with them. this healed something in me (cw: not separate pairings, language, some angst, drinking, modern au, f/afab!reader with she pronouns, flirty)

you first kiss satoru on a soccer field when you are ten, grass littered uniforms and scraped knees disregarded by the scowls on both your faces — one due to his third penalty in this match, yours due to the drink he just dumped out of your hand (and.. the fact that he kissed you in the bleachers in front of the entire school, as the ball flies into the outfield). total accident, he claims.

you first kiss suguru as a thank you for tutoring you through midterms the spring of your second year, in the janitor’s closet while nanami gets dresscoded on the other side of the door. you end up making out till the bell rings, wait for the halls to be empty to leave. caught up in the moment, he says.

you first kiss shoko at her doorstep a day before graduation, both completely shitfaced after utahime fake id-ed two cases of vodka cranberry and had to finish it before her parents got home. she nearly is expelled the next morning, manages to dodge it somehow. shoko ‘doesn’t remember’ one bit.

you haven’t talked to any of them since you drove away from the ceremony, gown and cap sat quietly on the dash of your car, acceptance letter folded in the glove box. you haven’t kissed anyone this year.

it’s not like you haven’t tried dating. blind dates, dates that picked you up at bars, dates that sparked messy roommate situations. and yet.. you didn’t kiss any of them. or anything else, for that matter.

has it really been that long?

when satoru finds out you all live in the same dormitory this year, he adds you to a groupchat and drops the address to a new dive bar down the block. all of them are convinced, except you.

you leave them on read.

it’s not like you don’t want to go. the idea of seeing them again makes your fingers twitch against your phone screen, hovering over the buttons, rereading the stupid little salute emoji satoru sent in. suguru thumbs-upped the text. shoko left it on delivered, though you know she’ll probably show up anyway.

you don’t reply. you’re busy. you’ve outgrown whatever this was, and you’re a different person now. when you drove away from that ceremony without saying goodbye, you did it on purpose.

..right? right.

so you go to bed early, phone facedown, volume off.

the next morning, there’s a photo in the chat: a blurry, overexposed mess of neon lights and moving figures, captioned you were supposed to be here, loser. satoru, obviously. you ignore it.

then comes another. this time from suguru. a selfie. well, almost. more like half of his face and most of shoko’s, her head thrown back laughing. he’s smirking at the camera, holding up a drink, the words we ordered you one anyway typed underneath.

you hate how easy it is for them to pick up where they left off. how the years apart don’t seem to mean anything to them.

you chalk it up to fomo, but really, you miss them.

the groupchat lies dormant for a while. the first time you run into one of them in person, it’s not satoru. it’s not suguru, either.

two days later, at the corner store down the street.

she spots you before you see her. your name slips out of her mouth like a habit, before she can stop it.

“avoiding me?”

you grab a bottle of water from the fridge, letting the cold plastic bite into your palm. “I’m busy,” you say, because it’s easier than the truth.

shoko hums like she doesn’t quite believe you, grabbing a pack of cigarettes off the shelf. she looks the same. a little older, a little sharper around the edges, but still so unexplainably her.

the same girl who used to steal sips from your drinks when you weren’t looking, who let you sleep on her floor when you fought with your parents, who kissed you once and never mentioned it again.

“we’re going out again this weekend,” she says, tucking the cigarettes into her left pocket. “if you don’t show, satoru’s gonna start getting.. creative.”

you raise an eyebrow. “creative?”

shoko smirks as her receipt prints. “he has your number. the real one, not the one you muted us on.”

your stomach sinks.

“see you there,” she walks off before you can argue.

you spend the next few days pretending you’re not thinking about it.

which is stupid, of course you are. you think about it while you’re in class, rereading the same paragraph in your textbook without absorbing a single word. you think about it when you’re cooking dinner, zoning out so hard that the pasta overboils and hisses against the stove, licks at the countertop.

then comes saturday night, right as you’re about to convince yourself for real that you aren’t going-

satoru calls you.

not a text. not a meme in the group. a full fledged, obnoxious phone call.

you hesitate before answering. which, in hindsight, is your first mistake. your second is actually picking up.

“hiii, stranger.” his voice is syrupy sweet, every syllable stretched out, “you know, if you were gonna go witness protection on us, you could’ve at least left a goodbye letter.”

you pinching the bridge of your nose. “satoru-”

“don’t ‘satoru’ me. do you have any idea how tragic it was last time? suguru had to drink your cocktail for you. he was fucking devastated.”

you hear a low, amused hum in the background.

“I was fine.”

“no, he wasn’t,” satoru continues. “he stared into space all night. contemplated existence. it was dark.”

there’s a muffled sound, like someone smacking him in the arm. shoko, you’re guessing.

you exhale, dragging a hand down your face. it’s annoying — it is — because it’s unfair. it’s unfair that they can just pick up where they left off while you’re still stuck at a finish line, pretending you can’t.

and maybe that’s why, instead of hanging up, you say, “where is this place?”

satoru gasps like you’ve just confessed your undying love to him. “ohhh, now you’re interested?”

“I didn’t say I was coming,” you argue, but you can already hear the grin in his voice.

“sure, sure,” he says. “texting you the address now. see you soon, sweetheart.”

he hangs up before you can protest. your phone buzzes a second later.

the final straw is a venmo request.

$5 for your absence. we took a vote.

you 9:58 PM: i hate all of you suguru 9:58 PM: so you’ll be there? you 10:00 PM: maybe suguru 10:00 PM: that’s not a nooo

you cave.

you arrive twenty minutes late, hoping the extra time will take the edge off. it doesn’t.

the bar is exactly what you expect — sticky tables, health violations, music that tells you to stay away (nickelback). you spot them immediately, because.. well. some things don’t change.

you hover in the doorway longer than you should, debating leaving, until satoru glances up.

his grin is blinding. “holy shit.”

three pairs of eyes snap to you.

you exhale through your nose. too late now.

satoru waves you over like you’re a lost dog. “get over here, exile. thought we’d need a search party.”

you roll your eyes but make your way to the table, slipping into the seat next to shoko.

“hilarious,” you deadpan, the words coming out lighter than you mean them to.

suguru pushes a drink toward you. “pre-ordered.”

a wrinkle forms between your brows. “what is it?”

“who cares?” shoko scoffs. “just drink.”

you hesitate for half a second. then you grab the glass.

satoru’s grin widens. “that’s my girl.”

you pretend the warmth in your chest is just the alcohol. it burns in your throat, but in the way that reminds you of being sixteen and reckless: bad decisions made on good nights.

“you look good,” suguru says, studying you.

you don’t know how to answer that, so you just shrug. “not so bad yourself.”

“obviously,” satoru interjects, stretching his arms over the back of the booth, effectively trapping you and shoko in. “we age like fine wine.”

shoko exhales smoke directly into his face. he doesn’t flinch.

“you’re a nuisance,” she says.

“you love me,” he counters.

you should feel out of place. you should feel like an outsider looking in, like some unwelcome visitor. it’s been years. yet.. the moment you sat down, every available inch of space is by default, the way it should be. almost like you never left.

“so,” satoru drawls, drumming his fingers against the table. “what’s the deal? you hate us now?”

you blink. “what?”

“you vanished after graduation.” he says it simply, a fact, a puzzle piece he’s been turning over in his hands for years. “I mean, I get it. I’d leave them too if I had the choice.” he gestures towards the other two. “but me?” he gawks. “rude.”

suguru huffs a laugh. “speak for yourself.”

you pick at the rim of your glass, salt flaking between your pointer and thumb. “I didn’t ..vanish.”

“no? then what would you call it?”

you swallow. the words are on the tip of your tongue, but you don’t know how to say them. that after the ceremony, after all the hugs and the drunken promises to stay in touch, you sat in your car for an hour and felt nothing. that leaving wasn’t some big, dramatic decision — it just happened.

a door closing. a chapter ending.

satoru is looking at you, suguru is watching, shoko is waiting, and suddenly, you don’t want to say anything at all.

“I wanted a new start,” you lie instead, but no one calls you out on it.

satoru somehow lets it go. “well. you’re here now.”

and just like that, the moment passes. the conversation shifts, and so does the night.

shoko orders another round. suguru leans in, asks about your job, your apartment, the details of your life that they’ve missed. satoru interrupts every three minutes with commentary, and by the time you’re halfway through your second drink, you’re laughing, really laughing, and you realize, with a strange sort of ache, that you haven’t in a long time.

it’s late when you finally leave. satoru slings an arm over your shoulder like he’s been doing it every day for the past four years, and you don’t push him off.

“don’t be a stranger this time,” suguru calls out before heading off in the opposite direction.

shoko kisses your cheek. “welcome back.”

you don’t respond. but as you make your way home, satoru’s warmth still lingering against your skin, you think maybe this time — you’ll stay.

satoru 3:04 AM: since we’re all back together now satoru 3:04 AM: should we address the elephant in the room? shoko 3:10 AM: tf are you on satoru 3:11 AM: you know. how we’ve all kissed her

© bowtiepasta: do not copy edit or repost anywhere