#ebon light fandom

[sisigull]

Ebon Light sketches

Mietwen and Axsix

[kismetrose]

The Men of Ebon Light

There are plenty of characters in Ebon Light. These five - Ernol, Laceaga, Duliae, Haron, and Vadeyn - appear regularly, each with their own views and attitudes. They're all potential love interests, too, which makes me feel spoiled for choice!

I don't know if you can romance more than one at a time because I haven't tried. I'm on my third playthrough, using each new romance to experience more of the story and so far, it's been quite satisfying. Choosing a favored character reveals more about them and may open up new scenes.

The creator has said that there's no suggested order for romances, except to leave Duliae for last. I intend to do just that, which makes me determined to get through to that fifth playthrough. And instead of being antsy to get it over with, I'm looking forward to it!

In all seriousness, this is one of the few VNs I've played so far that has made me want to seek out fanfic to read because I want more of the characters. And to soothe my broken heart after finding out I can't romance Commander Calipoa, but that's a whole other post.

[queer-starwars-bracket]

Queer Star Wars Characters: FINAL

Juhani | Identity: lesbian | Media: Knights of the Old Republic

Juhani from 2003’s Knights of the Old Republic was the first ever queer character in Star Wars. The Mandalorian Wars rendered Juhani’s family refugees on Taris after the destruction of their homeplanet of Cathar. Juhani was enslaved due to her mother’s debts, but was liberated by the Revanchists when they freed Taris from Mandalorian rule. This inspired her to travel to Dantooine to train as a Jedi, where she fell in love with her fellow padawan Belaya. For her final trial, she was tricked into believing she killed her master when consumed by the Dark Side. She fled into the wilds of Dantooine, her turmoil agitating the wildlife. Dealing with Juhani is the player’s final trial as a Jedi, and they can either kill Juhani or handle the situation diplomatically and return her to the light. She then joins the player as a companion.

Traveling together, Juhani grows close to Revan and can be romanced by female Revans (the game shipped with the gender flag for romance bugged, but she is intended to be a lesbian). She takes the player turning out to be Revan very well, as she never truly accepted that Revan turned to the Dark Side due to how the Revanchists saved her. If the Dark Side ending is chosen, the player must kill Juhani.

Juhani strives to be a good Jedi, strongly believing in their principles. However, she struggles with the in-born aggression and heightened anger of her species, which with her perfectionism creates a vicious cycle that drives her towards the Dark Side. Other than Revan, she kept herself separate from the rest of the crew of the Ebon Hawk, especially Canderous Ordo due to the Mandalorian’s genocide of her people. She was also full of bitterness regarding the racism she faced on Taris, and struggled not to lash out against all humans because of it. 

Chelli Lona Aphra | Identity: lesbian | Media: Star Wars Comics

Oh Aphra, where to begin. Honestly the best way I can describe her is that she’s Star Wars’ Vriska. She’s a “rogue archeologist” and in marketing material sometimes compared to Indiana Jones, but the only similarity is that she can feature in the same wacky stories about retrieving artifacts except with none of the mismatch between modern ideas about archeology and repatriation and Indy being the hero, because she specifically isn’t. She was originally created for the 2015 Darth Vader comic series, recruited to help Vader raise a force that would let him coup the Emperor. She was so popular she then got her own comic series, making her the breakout star of the Disney/Marvel Star Wars comics. The Fandom Menace can’t touch her.

Her comics have been a series of frankly strange adventures involving Force artifacts, Vader either working with her or wanting her dead, and double crosses that leave your head spinning. She has Thrawn level tactical abilities, but only for schemes. She is haunted by how her trauma born behaviors make it hard for her to maintain relationships and be a good person. She has so many exes it's an entire section of this tournament. Her most significant relationships have been with Sana Starros and Magna Tolvan. As of the end of the Spark Eternal arc, the comic seems to be leaning towards a poly ending with the three of them, but first Aphra needs to stop self sabotaging.

One of Aphra’s greatest achievements was at the end of her 2016 comic run, where she trapped Vader in a PTSD flashback Force artifact on Tython and hacked his suit to allow her to erase Hoth from the Empire’s records. She did this for the sake of her loved ones who had joined the Alliance. Doing this gave Echo Base enough time to build up before they were found again that they were able to evacuate much more efficiently. That’s right, disaster lesbian love saved the Rebellion.

[eluvisen]

Coming to Terms - Chapter 1

Fandom: Star Wars KOTOR

Characters: Female Revan/Carth Onasi, Female Revan & Bastila Shan

Rating: T

Summary: With the Star Forge destroyed, the crew of the Ebon Hawk are hailed as the saviours of the Republic. As the sudden scrutiny threatens to bring dangerous truths of the mission to light, they must confront the past and the future.

—

The Republic’s losses had been harsh in the battle, but they were still standing. Rank had its perks, and Carth had never been more grateful for it as he weaselled into the Ast Yanthar’s medbay. Deep into second shift, the bay was relatively quiet, and he made his way along the familiar route he’d traced for the past two days. Through the general ward to the array of kolto tanks, third on the left. As he approached, he discovered a slender silhouette in front of Velire’s tank.

Bastila. A jolt of surprise ran through him. He hadn’t seen her since she’d surrendered herself to Master Vandar, and even now she looked like she’d toured all nine hells. The pale blue glow of the tanks stripped any returning colour from her face, emphasising the rings under her eyes. Her right arm was still in a sling, her hair loose around her shoulders.

It was hard to reconcile with either the prim and proper Jedi or the Sith apprentice he’d glimpsed on the Star Forge. But all he could see was the casualty lists he’d been staring at for the past few days—two thousand three hundred personnel and counting. Three dreadnoughts, eighteen cruisers and hundreds of fighters.

Somehow she was so caught up in monitoring Velire that she didn’t notice Carth until he was almost beside her.

Bastila startled. Her eyes, wide and white-ringed, fixed on him as if he were a nexu that had sprung out of the bushes. “Carth! I didn’t…”

“It’s all right. We’re all tired.” It wasn’t all right at all, but she didn’t disagree. After almost eight months of living with Jedi, he knew he shouldn’t have been able to take her by surprise. “I just wanted to check on Lire.”

There was no change from any of the other times he’d visited. Velire floated in the tank, sedated, her willowy limbs half-curled around her. The thin medical jumpsuit she wore barely covered the necessities and certainly didn’t cover any of the damage, while a breather mask obscured most of her face.

The sight never failed to make his bruised heart squeeze. He whispered, “Hey, beautiful.”

[Read on AO3]

[kris-mage-fics]

Here be links to my writing and silly meme/text post compilations! Fandoms are listed in alphabetical order, and individual fics are in chronological order of when they were published. Original work is listed last.

Ebon Light

A New Room | tumblr post | Ao3 | rated G | 1,532 words | vague spoilers for the end of the game | Haron/MC | Haron is excited to show Natasha her new room in Lonre's manor.

Had it Been Anyone Else | tumblr post | Ao3 | rated G | 2,090 words | spoilers for several parts of the game on Ernol's route | Ernol/MC | Pure angst of Haron trying to hide his feelings for Ilyana since she's in love with his brother.

Scarlet Hollow

Fog | tumblr post | Ao3 | rated G | 411 words | no spoilers, set two days before the game begins | no beta | The cousin Tabitha's never met, and the town she has to keep running, occupy her thoughts Saturday morning.

Smoke | tumblr post | Ao3 | rated G | 504 words | some spoilers for early Episode 3 and a Street Smart cousin | no beta | Isaacs' thoughts as he waits for Haley Scarlet Wednesday morning.

The Secret of the Greenhouse | tumblr post | Ao3 | rated G | 411 words | no spoilers, set before the game starts and not canon compliant | Tabitha hates taking care of whatever is in the greenhouse, but now she's the only one who can. (Based on my pre-Episode 4 ideas about the Goop Teddy fan theory.)

Shepherds of Haven

The Best Proof of Love is Trust | tumblr post | Ao3 | rated G | 939 words | spoiler for the beginning of Chapter 3 (if you've played the public demo you're good) | content advisory: vaguely referenced suicidal thoughts | After Blade asks Kyrahlise if she's had 'nightmares' like that before, she remembers something her mother told her, and how that has guided her in the years since.

An Unlikely Engagement | tumblr post | Ao3 | rated G | 700 words | very, very light spoiler for Chapter 8 (if you follow the ShoH tumblr you probably already know it) | Blade/MC | Someone is quite surprised to find out that Kyrahlise is engaged to Blade.

Wintersun | tumblr post | Ao3 | rated G | 628 words | very light and vague spoilers for Chapter 4 and Blade's 5th day off | Blade/MC | Kyrahlise gives Blade a present for Wintersun.

Original Stories

Hic et Nunc | tumblr post | Ao3 | rated M for mild sexual content | 1,069 words | Original Female Character/Original Non-Binary Character | An argument between a swordswoman and a mage leads to them working out some feelings they'd been skirting around.

Meme / Text Post Compilations

Shepherds of Haven

Chase, Chase take 2 MC and "adventurous" Mages Like half of the Shepherds, lol

[darthsassacre]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

@spyscrapper decided to let me inflict this on y'all, so blame them.

1: How many works do you have on AO3?

55, but most of them aren't exactly complete.

2: What's your total AO3 word count?

Apparently I've hit 1,015,917, which means I crossed the million mark and??? fucking when???

3: What fandoms do you write for?

I write for Star Wars and World of Warcraft mostly, but I have dabbled with Mass Effect, Star Trek, and even some Dragon Age WIPs on a back burner somewhere.

4: What are your top five fics by kudos?

This one is trickier, because a lot of my fics with higher numbers only have those numbers because of that fucking kudos bot that was running around rampant for several months a while back and it hit a lot of my KOTOR stuff, so I went in and manually counted the humans who have touched these things and left a kudos.

"Things The Crew of the Ebon Hawk Are Not Allowed To Do" is at the top with 47, which is amazing considering that it's literally just one of those rules shitfics that I crowdsourced rules on lol. I feel like this might be one I revisit at some point, though, once my KOTOR muse returns from the war.

"I don't wanna hear your absolution (hope you're ready for a revolution)" is at 38. That's a bit less surprising, but it is odd that every few months a new one appears. The fandom is really starved for Revan and gang fucking shit up in the prequels huh?

"teenagers scare the livin' shit out of me" is hilariously at 35. Hilariously bc it's legit just a High Republic Jedi sex ed class fic that I wrote while actually teaching (or rather just babysitting while the student teacher did the actual teaching) but yeah. It also started as a convo about a completely different fic so uh... bosovir's bathwater server this is y'all's fault.

"oh, should my people fall then surely I'll do the same" is at 26 kudos and just... this fandom really isn't okay huh. This started off as an angst one shot that became a two shot and oops I'm on the 7th installment of this fucking series now. I'm coming back to it for sure at some point these shits are getting therapy

"there's a line that we'll cross (and there's no return)" is at 24, which is also a bit surprising bc at times it feels like the KOTOR fandom is six people and a gizka, but hey. This one has also been tapped recently. It was shaken gently and a few words fell out, so progress.

5: Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

For the most part, yes. There are some that I don't, and honestly that's because I genuinely just... forget. Chances are I'll approve a comment (I moderate those routinely) and end up doing something else and then forget to go back and reply. I love them all though (mostly. There's one guy I beef with in the comments but it's amicable).

6: What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh this is a tricky one. Uh... it's probably a tie between "I am your ghost (a fallen angel)" in which I make Rising Storm worse and "I want you to lose (like I lose when I play what could have been)" which is Malak being his morose asshole self. Seeing as how both those titles are from the same song, well... yeah.

7: What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This one might have to be "we can light up the sparks in our eyes" which was my Jedi June 2022 fic and I just adore it so much. There's some angst here, sure, but it's got a really adorable ending that was honestly an accident but I will die for that headcanon.

8: Do you get hate on fic?

On AO3, no. There was some shit on ff dot net but eh. Joke's on them, I have improvised, adapted, overcome.

9: Do you write smut?

I'm going to let Hope (@geekygirlexperience) explain this one BECAUSE IT IS ENTIRELY HER FAULT THAT THE IDIOTS IN QUESTION ARE IN MY HEAD RENT FREE legit never once and then these two idiots took up residence and here i am. they're paying rent with smut i guess

10: Do you write crossovers?

Half my brand at this point is random crossover shit. Like legit almost all my fics on ff dot net were low traffic because they were all crossovers and nobody went into those categories really. I have like... five planned right now? And a few posted. There's even a death knight Darth Vader that I have poked recently for ideas because that's still funny to me. And because Koltira and Thassarian deserve more fics.

11: Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not by a person, but those scraper apps sure get on my fucking nerves for free.

12: Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I would love to see it happen! If anyone sees this and wants to, here's your permission. Go nuts, I wanna see how it goes! I can't read more than English yet but by god I can figure enough out to get the gist of it.

13: Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Also no, but I would also love to try at some point! Closest I've gotten was the peanut galleries offering ideas and crowdsourcing.

14: What's your all time favorite ship?

You know what, I don't actually have an all time favorite. I am a multishipper I have a whole goddamn fleet of these things. But we'll pick by fandom, yes? KOTOR is Revan/Alek/Carth and I will die on that damn hill it takes two idiots to manage the worse idiot. THR is a solid tie between the Firebrands (there's a trend here) and Kantam/Cohmac, though Reathbell is a very, very close second. WoW is Halduron/Aethas bc oops the fandom convinced me. I'm actually writing them in the near future bc the fandom has once again got me back on my disaster elves bullshit. Goddamn chris metzen just had to go and announce a quel'thalas xpac...

15: What's a WIP you want to finish but probably won't?

As much as I hate to say that any of them won't be finished, for sure any prompt month or prompt series fics that aren't already finished definitely aren't getting a completed marking. I love the prompts, but... if I can't get them done that month I never will.

16: What are your writing strengths?

I'm passing on this one lol it's too late at night and my brain too fried from this week at work and other assorted bullshit

17: What are your writing weaknesses?

See above

18: Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I rather enjoy it, it spices things up and you can learn a lot about how languages work by having to string together sentences. And sometimes it's fun to let your characters be assholes in their native languages and everyone else just has the knowledge that this was an insult but no idea who it was directed towards or what it actually was about. I'll do this with Mando'a a fair bit and then drop the translations in the notes, but try and get the general gist across in the writing.

19: First fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars. Back in 7th grade and it's on paper never to be seen by the light of the internet.

20: Favorite fic you've written?

Surprisingly, it's "To Start Again", which is a modern AU WoW fic but like 9-1-1 and Grey's Anatomy flavored (don't ask me how I came upon this idea, there may have been strong pain meds involved at the time, that was the summer I almost broke my leg on the basement stairs). This particular fic has been idling for a bit, but uh... it's actually the bulk of my NaNo this year. I'll start posting the rewritten chapters and new content in the new year once I build up a cushion.

Anyway, if you see this (and that includes you Hope if you want to as I kinda made you see this XD) consider yourself tagged. I'm horrible about remembering most URLs honestly I had to check Discord to remember Lee's URL like???

[hausofmamadas]

Coming off my Xmas tech cleanse and I can’t believe I haven’t reblogged this absolute fucking gem of a fic. Like honestly, I had a bit of a latent madness take over with Richie tbh largely bc of my association of ebon moss-bachrach with his character from Girls, new age fuckboy extraordinaire and all around plague on humanity, Desi so like I really wasn’t expecting for this to like …..? get me????? The way it got me …? AND BRO DID IT FULL FUCKING GOT ME OKAYYYYYYY THIS SHIT IS AN ACTUAL MASTERPIECE AND INDUCED FULL BLOWN RICHIE PSYCHOSIS thankfully already saw the light with Syd but yeah, you know it’s mania when the next day, I’m making gifs

I feel like I haven’t read many one-shots as well paced as this in terms of the building of tension?????? Also like these two would just SOOOOOS10000% bond over their shared frustration with Carmy after that finale esp, like the fact that that’s what brings them together makes so much sense to me, in like already upset that this isn’t just canon cause I felt like I could’ve been watching S3, and to compound the butthurt, I know we’ll never get this bc despite everyone’s vehement reassurance that Syd/Carm isn’t gonna be a thing, I trust no one, and shows give in to fandom pairings all the time esp when they’re that compelling which Syd/Carm are and it’s like seared eternal into my prefrontal cortex now, has legit burrowed into the folds of my brain and has set out to live out the rest of its days there so like, yeah. Consider me newly afflicted.

But can you blame me when THIISSSSSSS IS THE FUCKINGJSHSWG SHIT I HAVE TO CONTEND WITH ???????;):8:;78;$:7/82&3$3

No Good Time For This

Sydney Adamu x Richie Jerimovich

For the loveliest @hausofmamadas for the Fic in a Box Exchange

Warnings: 18+, language, smoking, all the chaos and ridiculousness you expect with The Bear

Word Count: 7.5k

A/N: the way i want to write 500000000 fics for SydRichie. But this is a start. Thank you Kay for giving me the chance to do this. Big loves to you 💕

The Bear Taglist: @withmyteeth @darqchilddaydreamz @garbinge @ashlingnarcos @narcolini @justreblogginfics (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

She considered it a small miracle, maybe even a blessing, that when she came back inside they were still sawing their way through the door of the walk-in. If it had been a normal Friends and Family night, she would’ve stuck around and waited for them to free Carmy from his self-imposed confines so that they could talk, rehash the things that had gone well, things that needed to go better next time. But it hadn’t been a normal one. Or maybe it had—she hadn’t had the pleasure of launching her own restaurant like this before. Everything about Sheridan Road had been different. So for all she knew the absolute bedlam they’d been dealing with was par for the course.

But she was still pretty sure that it wasn’t.

Either way, she knew that she wasn’t in the right headspace to stick around and try to talk it out with Carmy. There was no getting to the bottom of whatever everything was, not tonight. So she slipped through, grabbing her things as she went, not even bothering to hang up her brand new chef’s jacket in her locker. She’d just make a point to remember it in the morning when she was getting ready to leave. The immediate relief of one less thing standing between her and the door was worth the extra step tomorrow.

She saw the way that Ebra was looking on over the shoulder of the man who had shown up to free Carmy. That was enough to reassure her that she was free to leave. Even if she wasn’t, there was nothing that Carmy could scream at her for in that moment that he couldn’t just as easily scream at her for tomorrow. It could wait. He could wait. All the waiting that he’d made her do in the months leading up to this, she couldn’t deny that it felt a little right to leave him there and make him wait until tomorrow to see her or talk to her. She wouldn’t have gone out of her way to dodge him, but the universe was lining her up for the perfect shot at the moment, so she was going to take it.

When she walked out the front door, she wasn’t expecting to see Richie standing there smoking a cigarette, looking just about as lost as she felt. He turned around at the sound of the door shutting behind him. His eyes locked onto Sydney and he wanted to muster up some sort of reaction to it being her, but he just couldn’t quite manage it. There was the tiniest lift of his eyebrows, an almost imperceptible upward tilt of his head, but that was it. Sydney’s reaction was about the same.

“Thought you went home,” she said as she stepped so that she was beside him.

He shook his head. “Not yet.”

It was different, weird even, to hear Richie’s tone sounding so neutral. He always had some kind of an inflection in his voice, even if it was an annoying one. He was always yelling, or laughing, or arguing to prove a point that no one else in the world cared enough to try and make. Even his most pointless stories were always told with a sense of urgency. So to hear him sound like that, so flat and almost empty, after one of the biggest nights for them in the last few months, didn’t sit quite right.

There was a comment on the tip of Syd’s tongue, something to the effect of telling him that he should go home. Then it hit her that she didn’t really know if she wanted to go home either. She didn’t want to be inside, didn’t want to look Carmy in the eyes, but she wasn’t sure if she was ready to pack it in and head back to her apartment. She stopped herself from telling Richie to do something that she had no real interest in doing herself.

“That was…insane,” she said to him instead.

That got a hint of a laugh, more of a scoff than anything, out of him. But it was something. A feeling. “Yeah, yeah it fuckin’ was.”

“You did—”

“You know—”

They both started and stopped at the same time. They both chuckled awkwardly, shaking their heads. It always felt like they were either perfectly in-sync or constantly stepping on each other’s toes. At least this time the toe-stepping wasn’t accompanied by yelling.

Richie gestured for her to continue, the cigarette still in his hand tossing smoke everywhere in the process. “Go ahead.”

“You did…really great tonight, Richie,” she said with a nod.

He scoffed but cut himself short in the process. Take the win. He had to get better at letting himself take the win. After all, it wasn’t often that Syd was the one giving him any. “You too,” he let a pause linger for longer than necessary, a small smirk starting to creep its way across his face as he added on, “Captain.”

“Fuck off.” She said it with a laugh, no real heat behind the words the way that there had been in the past.

They both laughed, awkward tension starting to slowly evaporate, but the exhaustion still hung heavy in the air. Thick condensation that neither of them could shake off. It wasn’t until they both stopped laughing that Syd cleared her throat and prompted Richie to say whatever it was that he was going to say to her before.

He shook his head. He almost didn’t want to say it now. The moment was good. For all the bad moments over the course of the night, most of his moments with Syd had been good ones. He didn’t want to ruin that. They were laughing, and tired, and for a moment not stressed the fuck out about it all. He didn’t want to dredge it all up again. Looking over at Syd and her big, curious eyes, he knew that there was no saying, “Nevermind,” now.

He tapped the ash of his cigarette onto the sidewalk, a last-ditch effort of procrastination. “What I was gonna say, before you interrupted me,” he joked for a moment before letting his tone get serious again, “was that, fuck, I just—” He stopped and shook his head, already wanting to take it all back. He was long past the point of no return now. “You know you don’t have to just, fuckin’, put up with him being like that, right?”

Her brows drew together. “What?”

He nodded back towards the restaurant. “Carmy. You don’t have to put up with his whole, you know,” he gestured vaguely with his hand, less smoke in his wake this time, “toddler, bitch-boy routine.”

Syd couldn’t help but to laugh as she shook her head. “Richie, I mean, I get it, but I kinda d—”

“You don’t,” he cut her off, shaking his head. “Get back in his fuckin’ face when he gets at you like that.”

“Like you?” The words were meant to land as an insult, but she should’ve known better than to think that Richie was going to let them be one.

“Yeah! Like me!” He was hovering just beneath a yell now, but not really at her, still at Carmy. Syd just happened to be the person who was standing in front of him at the time. “Don’t let him think that that shit’s okay, you know?”

She shook her head. “He knows it’s not.”

“Then he should fuckin’ act accordingly!”

She knew that Richie wasn’t wrong. But she also knew enough, about Carmy and about the kitchen and about life, to know that it was lofty to think that her snapping back at Carmy all the time would be the magical cure for it all.

“I know,” she tried to be purposeful with her words, handling Richie with more care in that moment than she had in any other moment since she’d met him. “But can you at least agree that maybe, maybe it wasn’t the right time? You know? When we were all in the middle of the shit?”

The four seconds it took Richie to concede to what she was saying felt like they were actually much longer than that. He did give in, though. Shoulders dropping as he tucked his chin in a nod. “Doesn’t stop him though,” he muttered. “Fuckin’ baby.”

Syd didn’t even feel the smile creeping back onto her face, had no idea it’d made a reappearance. “Doesn’t stop you either, to be fair.”

“Pfft,” Richie scoffed as he flicked away the butt of his cigarette, “I don’t know what you’re talking about—I am the pinnacle of professionalism.”

“Richie.”

He rolled his eyes but there was a smirk on his face as he did. “Yeah, yeah. Not…not the right time.”

There was a pause, one that lasted long enough for either of them, or both of them, to go their separate ways. It’d been the longest night in the history of everything and there was no real reason for either of them to keep sticking around. Syd was vaguely aware of the fact that she probably still smelled like the back alleyway and her own vomit, and Richie was probably still forcing the last of the adrenaline out of his system. Even knowing that, though, neither of them moved. If anything, Syd was more tempted to just plop down on the curb than turn to start heading towards the station that would get her home. If she went home she would see her father. Her father who was currently so excited for her and proud of her, and actually showing it in a way that she could understand. She didn’t want to go home with the weight that was currently lingering on her shoulders and ruin that. It wouldn’t just be ruining it for her, it would be ruining it for him, too. If she could manage to wait a little while longer, she would. If Richie was going to give her a way to stick around, she was going to take it.

He wouldn’t be so bold as to say it, but Richie was glad that she didn’t seem to be in much of a rush to leave either. For as much as part of Richie wanted to be laying in bed staring up at his ceiling, he didn’t want to go back to the emptiness of his apartment yet. Carmy’s words were still bouncing around his head. They weren’t going to sink their teeth into him. He wasn’t going to let them do that. It wasn’t anything worse than what either of them had ever said to each other before. He was almost certain that they would say the same types of things to each other again at some point. All the personal growth in the world could never completely snub out those old habits. They would always come out of hibernation eventually. His fight with Carmy would hit him in waves over the next few days, but what was really pulling him under in the moment was something that he hadn’t seen coming. He knew that it was probably much more than just the fact that Tiff wasn’t at Friends and Family that was getting to him, that the issues and the need for closure there went much deeper than that. It was so much easier to attribute it to just one night, though, so that’s exactly what he was going to do for the time being. And if standing on the curbside with Sydney kept him from going home and staring at his ceiling and spinning out about things that were out of his control, then he’d keep doing it.

“Speaking of bad timing,” Syd started with a shake of her head, helping both of them procrastinate in the best way that they knew how.

“Oh shit,” Richie chuckled, “this is gonna be good.”

For a moment Richie was straddling between the possibilities of thinking that Syd was about to be complicit in her own bad timing, and thinking that her story was about someone else’s bad timing. They were both equally likely, given how things tended to go for all of them.

Syd didn’t know if she really even wanted to tell Richie what had happened. Or maybe want wasn’t the right word. She knew that she wanted to tell him, but she didn’t know why. She was, for the moment at least, probably better off not knowing the why. She also didn’t know how much telling him might end up backfiring on her. Want wasn’t the right word—should was.

Luckily for Richie, if there was one thing Syd had it was the ability to go for something even if it might blow up directly in her face after the fact.

“I think Marcus asked me out earlier.”

Richie’s eyes went wide. “Shut the fuck up.”

“I’m serious.”

“You think?” he asked, mostly mocking but also genuinely wondering how she could be uncertain about something like that.

“There was a lot going on!” She tried to come to her own defense. “There was a lot going on and I wasn’t exactly expecting it and he also didn’t really—”

“What’d you say?” He cut her ramble short, wanting to get right to the heart of it all.

“What?”

“He asked you out. So, what did you say?”

“You think I’d be standing here talking to you about it if I said yes?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “Poor Marcus. That’s,” he glanced over at Syd, a shit-eating grin on his face, “that’s gonna be a tough one to come back from.”

She rolled her eyes, immediately regretting her decision to tell him. She knew it was coming, in a way, but she wasn’t going to let that take away her right to be annoyed. “Alright—”

“Sydney Heartbreaker Adamu,” he joked.

She wanted to be mad but she ended up laughing instead. “Shut up. Making me sound like some boxer.”

“Read all that Coach K shit and didn’t even end up in the right sport.”

She clasped her hands in front of her face for a moment, caught between praying and laughing a little harder at it all. “I think we’re all going to be busy enough so that it’s not going to be, like, a real—”

Sydney stopped herself mid-sentence when the restaurant door opened behind them. They each turned and looked to see Carmy walking through. However tired the two of them looked by that point, Carmy was about ten times worse and had twenty times more reason to be. There was a pause as they all stood and looked at each other—Syd and Richie looking at Carmy, Carmy going back and forth between the two of them. In the back of his mind he knew that he must’ve been interrupting something. He also knew that there should be something that he was saying but nothing was coming out. All the thoughts racing around his head and he couldn’t manage to externalize a single fucking one of them. Suddenly he found himself sitting there, spinning out and feeling embarrassed in front of two people he had worked so hard to fall into sync with.

Syd was willing to bite the bullet on behalf of everyone one more time. “We can talk tomorrow, Chef,” she said with a tight nod as she continued to look at Carmy.

He looked a little taken aback by the statement when he should have probably been nothing besides grateful. The last thing that he needed as to be getting into it with both of them in the middle of the goddamn sidewalk, especially not when they would both be teaming up against him. He knew that. But he also hated the feeling of being dismissed like he was a child who was getting suspended from school for the rest of the day. If he said that he was sure it would’ve been met by a comment from one or both of them that would have been to the effect of, “If you weren’t acting like such a child we wouldn’t have to fucking treat you like one.” And he knew that he’d deserve that too.

Carmy forced himself to nod, speaking somewhat to both of them even though he was still only looking at Sydney. It felt a little easier to do that, although he might feel differently after whatever conversation they would end up having tomorrow. For now, though, she was still safe.

“Tomorrow. Right. Yeah.” He nodded one more time. “Tomorrow.”

Carmy tried to get his feet to move but they wouldn’t. Richie could see it in Sydney’s eyes that she was about to take off. Home suddenly feeling like less of an uncomfortable notion when the other option was standing there with the two of them. He didn’t want to be left alone with Carmy, not so soon after everything else, so he beat her to the punch and rolled out before either of them could counter it.

“Night, Chefs,” he said in one sweep to both of them before turning and walking towards the lot where he’d parked his car.

Syd was the only one who said anything in return, Carmy only able to give him a nod in that moment. When Richie was far enough away to make the two of them look at each other again, Carmy wondered if Syd would change her mind and want to have a conversation with him about any of it, about anything really.

She ignored the hopeful look that was starting to creep into his eyes. “See you tomorrow.”

He got half a nod out before he gave up on it, already seeing the way Syd was stepping back to go on her own way as well. “Y-yeah. See you…see you tomorrow.”

Tomorrow came much faster than anyone at The Bear had really been bargaining for. It felt like it was forever away with how long the day before had seemed. Syd thought that she was ridiculously early in getting there but the first thing she noticed was that the lights were already on. It was a toss-up on who had gotten there before her, a fifty-fifty shot between the two Berzatto’s. It wasn’t a sure enough thing for her to want to walk in just yet. She knew that she and Carmy needed to talk, but that didn’t mean that she wanted to. Especially not first thing in the goddamn morning. Maybe it was Natalie. Maybe it was Natalie and they would lament together in the office and it would all be okay. But something in Syd’s gut told her it was Carmy.

She was so busy staring at the door that she hadn’t heard the footsteps getting closer. It wasn’t until Richie spoke that she realized she was no longer alone out on the sidewalk.

“Keep meeting like this,” he mumbled past the cigarette between his lips.

Her head whipped in his direction, and it wasn’t until she saw the amused look on his face that she processed what he said. Once she really heard it, though, it got her to laugh. “Funny how that works.”

He nodded towards the restaurant before lighting his cigarette. “Ready to do it all over again?”

“No,” she answered immediately. “That’s why I’m standing out here on the,” she shook her head, “on the fucking sidewalk.”

He stepped in a little closer so that he was standing right beside her, as close to shoulder-to-shoulder as they could manage given their height difference. “How bad could it be, right?” he asked with a shrug, sleeve sliding against the material of her winter jacket.

The laugh that she let out was loud, almost involuntarily so. One of the only people who really knew just how bad it could get besides her was Richie, and that’s what nearly had her in stitches. “Fuck off.”

He flicked his cigarette away, not anywhere near done with it. More of a habit than a need, now. He placed his hand on her shoulder closest to him. “C’mon, Chef. Let’s get this over with.”

It took Richie less than ten minutes to come to regret those words. He and Syd had gone inside, Syd had put all of her things away in her locker, and that was when both of them heard shuffling around coming from inside the office. Carmy and Richie had said plenty to each other the night before—it was Sydney and Carmy who needed to actually have that first initial conversation. All Syd could make herself do was look at Richie as he looked at her, and finally she pushed the door to her locker shut. Neither of them said anything to the other. Richie just gave her a slight nod of reassurance before she went on her way.

The last thing he heard before Syd shut the door to the office was her saying to Carmy, “Hey, so, I think we really need to talk about last night.” The first thing he heard after that was Syd shouting, “Okay, well, it is a fucking problem!” Richie had no idea what was said between them between those two sentences, but he had no doubt that Syd was right, that whatever was being brought up and discussed was, in fact, a problem. Part of him wanted to linger, knowing that the two of them would undoubtedly get loud enough and stay loud enough for him to hear pretty much everything that was said, but he didn’t. He’d get the liner notes from one of them, or both of them, before the day was out. He was willing to settle for that. He went back out to the front of the house and made himself busy there instead. Purpose.

By the time that everyone else started to trickle in, the yelling had stopped. The tension wasn’t gone but at least they were no longer about to throttle each other. The office was Natalie’s head of operations once more the way that it should be.

“Where the fuck is Marcus?” Carmy asked as he was taking stock of everyone that was in the kitchen.

Syd shrugged, eyes glued to the counter in front of her. “I don’t know. I haven’t heard anything from him.”

“Did you call him?”

She didn’t turn her head to look at him, but her eyes flicked over to Carmy. “Did you?”

He raised his eyebrows, and Sydney could see it on his face that he was fighting the urge to say something that would kick everything off again. If it had just been the two of them he wouldn’t have held his tongue. As it was, he just shook his head and took off towards the back door so he could make the phone call.

Richie appeared right by Sydney’s side, seemingly out of nowhere the way it always seemed to be now. He leaned in close and kept his voice quiet, which seemed to be another new skill he honed in recent weeks, so that only Syd could hear him, and hear the humor in his voice. “Think he’s blowing us all off because you—”

“I do not think he’s blowing us off because of that,” Syd cut him off, shaking her head and trying not to let it show that she found it almost as funny as it was annoying coming from Richie.

The smug grin on his face grew a little wider. “Told you it was gonna be a hard one to come back fr—”

“Richie, do you remember how unpleasant it was last time I stabbed you?” She paused long enough to look at him, not long enough to let him answer the question before continuing on to say, “Our knives are so much nicer and sharper now, you know?”

He chuckled, holding his hands up. “No need to get stabby—just paying you a compliment.”

It wasn’t until that moment that Syd realized just how close Richie was actually standing to her. She didn’t want to think about it. There were so many other things that she needed to be thinking about. Things that mattered in that moment, like the restaurant, like Carmy being one mishap away from falling completely fucking apart again, like Marcus being MIA. She didn’t need to be thinking about Richie standing close to her and the way warmth rolled up and down her spine like someone was dragging their fingertips there.

Richie was either too busy being amused with himself to notice the shift, or just oblivious because nothing prior to that moment would’ve given him any inkling that he would elicit that from her just by invading her personal space the way that he always did with her and everyone else. Or maybe, Syd thought for a moment, he noticed and was just being kind enough not to say anything at work in front of everyone. That was a short-lived moment.

Regardless of the why, Richie switched tracks. “Speaking of people being butthurt—how’d it go with Carmine this morning?”

Syd rolled her eyes, split-second infatuation completely gone. “It went great, yeah. Super…super productive. Did you not hear it?” If her sarcastic tone was a tangible object it would’ve been a lead brick dropping directly onto Richie’s toe.

He shook his head, trying not to smile and failing miserably. “Only a little bit of it.”

“How did that little bit sound?”

He gave a fake impressed frown and nod. “Productive, I’d say.”

She knew he would be able to tell that she didn’t really mean it when she told him, “Fuck off,” but it still felt good to say it.

“Told you, sweetheart,” he rested his hands on her shoulders for a brief moment, “Peak of Professionalism.”

“Yeah,” she rolled her eyes, smiling as he walked away to start taking care of more pressing matters, “add it to your resumé.”

The next dinner shift was about as much of a scramble as the previous one had been. Different, but similar. Marcus being MIA made things difficult, but there was something to be said for Carmy not being locked in the freezer this time around. Chaotic, but manageable—that was something they were all used to.

 “All good, Chef?” Richie asked when he walked back into the kitchen to grab some of the plates that were up.

Syd was nodding, eyes still locked on the sea of slips in front of her. “Yes, Chef.”

Richie had a plate in each hand but he still paused beside her. “Hey,” he paused and waited for her to finally look over at him, “you’re doing good.”

Syd expected to want to come back with something snarky, but instead the smile on her face was genuine. “Thanks—”

“Doing as good as I did last time? Well,” Richie said with a shrug, trying not to laugh, “we’ll see.”

She immediately dropped her eyes back to the real task at hand, partially to focus but mostly so he wouldn’t be able to see her trying not to laugh. “Need to see those plates walking, Chef.”

He laughed, already stepping away as he said, “Yes, Chef.”

Sydney was sure that there was a universe out there somewhere, where she got along easily with both Richie and Carmy. As it stood, however, she seemed to be stuck in a world where she could only ever manage to be on good terms with one of them. For the longest time it was her and Carmy—a united front in a way against the rest of the restaurant. Part of her thought that shifting to The Bear was only going to strengthen and solidify that. They were supposed to be partners, after all. Much to her surprise it seemed to be doing the exact opposite. It was more complicated than just the two of them ‘not getting along’. The problems ran deeper than that, had a reach farther outside the kitchen than that. Regardless of the reasoning behind it all, it left the two of them feeling about as far apart as they’d ever been since she’d shown up to stage when they were still The Beef. She couldn’t simply storm out and walk away like she had before, not with how deeply she was entrenched in it now. She had to adapt, had to figure it out even if Carmy seemed to be incapable of doing the same.

Apparently an integral part of the adaptation process was her and Richie mending things between them. There was never really a conversation about them filling in the cracks of the foundation between them. They never sat down across the table from each other and spelled out everything that they were sorry for—that wasn’t how they were wired with each other. They understood, though, one good turn deserving another. They both knew that there was more to be said about them being on the same wavelength in the kitchen, that that change alone said more than a plain apology ever would. To being combatants on opposites sides of the fight to being each other’s touchstone in the middle of the chaos was a one-eighty that neither of them ever would have been able to call. They never really said anything about that either, but they made sure the other knew that they were grateful for it.

“You heading out soon, Chef?” Richie asked after a long minute of watching Syd fuss over produce placement and organization on the cart.

Her eyes flicked over to the clock on the wall before they finally landed on Richie. She hadn’t even noticed the time going by. “Yeah. Soon.”

He didn’t mean to smile but he couldn’t stop himself either as he walked closer. “What’re you doing?”

“I feel like this could be better.”

“Better?” He laughed. “It’s fuckin’ vegetables, Syd. How—”

“Not everyone in this kitchen is six feet tall, Richie.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m six-one,” he paused for emphasis, “But I see your point.” He looked at her as she went to look away. “You really think you’re gonna crack the code tonight?”

“I might! I could. Probably.”

He was shaking his head but he knew that she was probably right. Usually if she thought on something hard enough she’d get to the bottom of it one way or another. “Alright,” he conceded as he took a small step back. He leaned against the counter behind him, crossing his arms over his chest as he waited.

It took longer than it should have for her to notice that he was still standing there. She tried to ignore the way her heartbeat quickened just slightly. “You don’t have to stay, you know.”

“What if there’s a vegetable-placement-related emergency tomorrow and you’re not here?”

“Where else would I be?”

“Stuck in the freezer,” Richie said with a laugh despite the fact that the door to the walk-in was in perfect working order now. He gave them each a moment to laugh at that, knowing that joking about it was the only way to cope with it at this point. “Anyway, what if there’s an emergency and I’m the only other one who would’ve had the answer if I had just stuck around?”

“Your head is a very dramatic place to be,” she said, smiling and knowing enough to not argue with him further or try to insist on sending him home.

She didn’t stick around for as long as she would have if she had been alone. Throughout the process of opening The Bear she had spent plenty of late nights at the restaurant on her own and she didn’t think twice about it. Things had to get done and she was fine being the one to stay late and do them. It felt different knowing that Richie was there and waiting on her, though, even if he wasn’t saying anything or trying to rush her.

“I don’t think I’m getting this tonight,” she finally conceded.

Richie chuckled, stepping forward again. She didn’t shy away from him encroaching on her space. He looked over her shoulder, hands stuffed into his pockets. “Maybe there’s nothing to get.”

She let out a short sigh. “Yeah.” She pressed the heel of her palm to the edge of her forehead for a moment. “Maybe.”

Sydney wasn’t looking at him but that didn’t stop Richie from looking at her. His eyes raked over her profile, unable to make himself look at anything else. He took in a slow, deep breath, knowing that there were words on the tip of his tongue that he just couldn’t let himself say. Part of him wanted to, just so it was out there in the open and he wouldn’t have it hanging over his head anymore. That same part of him also couldn’t help but to sometimes think that he wasn’t the only one who felt the way that he did. It took two, right? To make things work the way that they had been?

But he didn’t want to be the next person that she talked about to someone after hours, another story of some poor sucker who couldn’t read the room and had the worst timing in the world. He didn’t want that. It was a little selfish, sure, but the outcome was still the same—their dynamic would keep.

Syd turned around, thinking that she was just going to go and grab her things from her locker. She stopped on a dime, though, when she saw how close Richie had been standing to her. She looked up at him, eyes wide as an awkward laugh slipped past her lips.

“What’s up?” she asked, not moving away from him if he wasn’t going to be moving away from her.

He gave a small shake of his head. “Nothing.” He took a tiny step back, just enough so that if he needed to, he could say that he made an effort to put some distance there. “You, uh,” he motioned back over his shoulder, “you good to go?”

Syd didn’t want to admit that she was disappointed by the sliver of space that Richie had put between them, by the fact that he was ushering the moment to a close before it had even really gotten started. She didn’t want to admit it but she knew that she was. All she could do at that point was hope that it wasn’t written all over her face.

“Yeah. Yeah I just gotta grab my stuff.”

Richie nodded. “Right.”

There was a moment, the two of them standing close even though they weren’t as close as they had been but still feeling just as close. Maybe it was all in his head, or maybe it was the fact that he couldn’t stop studying Sydney’s face and in the process maybe he noticed that she was staring at his lips but he didn’t want to think too much about any of that.

And apparently Sydney didn’t want to think too much about it either because she forced herself to take a small step to the side as she said, “I’m just gonna…grab that…”

“Yeah,” he said, sounding more defeated than he meant to. It wasn’t until she was a few more strides away and out of earshot that he dropped his head and whispered, “Fuck me,” to no one other than himself.

Neither of them said anything about it the following day. Or the day after that. It didn’t matter how often it crossed each of their minds, the possibilities of it all. There were too many other things to handle, too many other moving parts that required their attention. At least that’s what they each told themselves anyway, that and they each tried to assure themselves that there was no way the other could really feel the same way. They were Syd and Richie after all. In what world would things play out like that for them?

For all the havoc it was wreaking on them internally, their saving grace was that they were still able to manage work just fine. Or, as well as they ever had. Bumps and mishaps and screaming matches with Carmy still peppered in for good measure. But they still had each other’s backs, and Syd wished that she knew how to thank him for that without making it weird or blowing up her own spot about it all. It should’ve been easy, but then again nothing with them really ever was.

Sydney didn’t say much when Richie snapped back at Carmy in her defense, saving her the trouble of getting into another argument with him herself. She didn’t comment on the way that his voice had an extra layer of firmness to it when he came to her defense. She just gave Richie a nod and a silently mouthed, “Thank you,” after Carmy walked away. And when Sydney cut Carmy short when he was getting after Richie for things that weren’t actually his fault, Richie didn’t say anything then either. Syd would give him the look, the slight tilt of her head and raise of her brows to ask if he was alright, and rather than say anything in response Richie would just rest his palm against the center of her back for a moment before diving right back into it all.

The Bear had been silent and seemingly empty for a while, dinner service long since done and over with. Sydney was making the final rounds through, reassuring that everything was in the right place for the next day. She still hadn’t gotten around to rearranging the produce but she found herself smiling regardless anytime she thought about it.

She shut off all the lights in the kitchen as she made her way out towards the dining area. She swung the door open with more force than she meant to as she stuffed things haphazardly into her bag.

“Oh, shit,” Richie said with a surprised laugh. “Just crashing through here like that?”

Her eyes widened. “Shit. Fuck, sorry. I didn’t know…I thought it was just me here.” She paused. “What are you still doing here?”

He shook his head slightly, like he was going to dismiss the question. Then he remembered who it was that he was talking to. “Thought I had something but,” he fiddled with the fork on the tabletop, “I think I’m just going fuckin’ insane at this point.”

Sydney laughed as she walked over so that she was standing beside him, staring down at the same table he was. “This place will do that to you.” There was a breath of a pause between them before Syd blurted out, “Are you okay?”

He contorted his face in confusion. “Am I okay?”

“Yeah. I mean, I know that Carmy has been—”

“Carmy has been the same little bitch he’s always been,” Richie cut her off, simultaneously rude and assuaging her worries. “Nothing changed there. New fancy restaurant and he's still the same fuckin’ toddler. Now he’s just a toddler in debt to fuckin’ Cicero.”

Syd smiled and shook her head. She should’ve known better than to expect a real answer. “Right. Well, if there’s anything I can do…”

“You’re already doing it,” Richie replied before thinking better of it.

“What?”

He froze for a moment before clearing his throat and making himself speak. “You tell anyone I said this and I’ll deny it. I’ll deny it and I’ll get you fucking fired…somehow,” he said and they both laughed quietly before he continued. “But you said it, you know? You called it.”

“Called what?”

“You said that this place could be good. You said it didn’t have to be shitty and you were right. And you made it, you know, not fuckin’ shitty.”

It was one of the realest, most direct compliments he’d ever given her. Or anyone, really. “Thanks.” She paused for a moment as she gnawed the inside of her lip. “It wasn’t just me, though.”

“Talkin’ about Fak?” he joked, trying to erase the tension he felt starting to bubble up all over again.

Sydney laughed. “Yeah, obviously.” She let it hang in the air for a moment before she reached and rested her hand against the outside of Richie’s bicep, pads of her fingers making the fabric of his suit jacket give into her. “It was you too, Richie. You know that, right?”

He didn’t know why his face felt like it was on fire all of a sudden. “Nah, I mean—”

She wasn’t having it. “You make this place good. It’s not, you know, it’s not The Bear without you here.” She gave his arm a gentle squeeze. “I’m glad you’re here.”

He forced himself to stop looking at the table and look at her. He was looking for any sign of her backpedaling, waiting for the first hint of sarcasm, but it never came. It was just her there with all of her honesty and her hand on his arm. And suddenly he became very aware of how much closer to him she’d drifted.

He should just say it. That was all he could think as he stood there with her. It’s all he could ever manage to think about in their small moments together like that. He should just fucking say it. He should tell her how he feels. There had to be something to it, right? There was no way that it could all be in his head. And yeah, maybe the last guy thought the same thing but now Richie was standing there with Sydney practically melting into his side while he was about to start melting into the floor. He didn’t want to just be another story that she passed along to the next guy, a cheap laugh at his expense when he wasn’t around, but if that was the price he had to pay to find out if he was living in some form of delusion, maybe it was a price he was willing to pay.

“Syd?” He almost didn’t recognize his own voice, the hesitation in it.

“Yeah?”

She sounded hopeful, which made him hopeful in return. “There’s never a right time, you know? For a lotta shit? I…I know that.” He cleared his throat. “And maybe this is really fuckin’ stupid of me, because we’re finally figuring our shit out and you shot down the last guy but I just gotta say it. I know it’s bad timing but let’s be real it’s not like any of us here ever really have good timing for shit like this.” He studied Syd’s face, looking for any traces of negativity and somehow still missing that she was holding her breath in anticipation. “I think that you, fuck, you’re the greatest thing that’s happened in a long time. To me. And yeah, there’s the restaurant and the rest of it but, but it’s…it’s you.” He punctuated his statement by putting his hand on her shoulder.

Syd thought her heart was going to beat hard enough to crack its way right through her ribcage. “Richie—”

“And if you gotta go all Heartbreaker on me I get it but—”

“Richie,” she repeated herself, just enough to get his attention. “You’re right.” She paused, soaking in the shocked look on Richie’s face as he tried to figure out which part she thought he was right about. “There’s never a good time.” The shock faded to disappointment but she paid it no mind because she knew where she was going next. “But this might be, you know, the best time. The only time. And,” and moved her hand from his arm so that it was resting on top of his hand on her shoulder, “I’m sick of trying to wait for some sort of sign that says it’s the right time. Honestly? I think,” she laughed, “I think this is it. This is the sign.”

The apprehension drained out of him instantly as he listened to each word she said, soaked up the warmth flooding from her hand into his. “Yeah?” he still had to ask, hopefully to a painful degree.

She nodded as she squeezed his hand. “Yeah.”

For once he couldn’t think of anything to say. So he did the next best thing. He turned just enough so that he was facing her, hardly giving either of them time to overthink their way through it as he leaned in and kissed her, his lips catching hers.

His hands cupped both sides of her face, channeling all the instances of almost and maybe into that one action like he was afraid it would be the first and last time. He wanted to make it worth it, wanted to make sure she knew.

Syd felt the way that he leaned down into her, eager, hopeful. She was instantly lost in the way his lips moved against hers, allowing herself to get swept up in it all as her hands fell to rest on his arms—steadying him, keeping him there although he had no intention of trying to be anywhere else.

It was just the two of them in the darkness and quiet of the restaurant, and for once neither of them had the urge to say anything at all.

[nebulous-tundra]

bratty child Haron, dedicated big brother Ernol, and irritated middle child Arvon get ready for portrait day at the behest of their father

[mushigima]

this is it- this is what it feels like playing Vadeyns route

[karygurl]

Made some Ebon Light memes that I shared on the Discord server, and I’m so proud that I’m gonna show them off here too like a three year old shows off their finger paintings. I MADE DIS.

[ewa-jednak-chce-spac]

Thank you, Ebon Light, for curing my post-TROS blues :D

[sisigull]

Duliae Laushust, Reverie: Ebon Light

Idk if the ebon light fandom is still alive here but I don’t care I love the game sm

The drawing to the left is a portrait of my MC I did a while back with watercolours so I wanted a matching one with Duli, just with gouache this time.

[meiwni]

Ebon Light my beloved.... how did I discover you so late, after your fandom has died and your creator has vanished..... why must I be cursed this way...

[iliumheightnights]

That's my jacket | Carth Onasi x Male Reader

Fandom: Star Wars, Knights of The Old Republic Pairing: Carth Onasi x Male Reader Summary: Carth can’t find his jacket and everyone notices.

…

Carth rubbed the tiredness from his eyes. Slowly he opened his eyes to the ceiling above. He laid in his bunk in the port dormitory. He knew he had to get up and get the ship flying. Ever since Malak issued a bounty on them, The Ebon Hawk couldn’t stay portside for too long.

The man sighed and ran his hand down his face before sitting up and jumping out of bed. It seemed like the others were up by the empty bunks. All except for Canderous who was still snoring loudly. Great. He hated being among the last awake. He went to get dressed and everything was fine, until he couldn’t find his jacket. His signature jacket which he always wore, was nowhere to be seen. “Huh. I know I had it right here…”

Well Jacket or no Jacket, he still needed to get the ship moving. They already spent too long where they were. He gave in to the idea of finding his jacket later, he knew it was on the ship at least and even then it wasn’t as important.

He left the dormitories dressed but without his jacket. He prepared himself for the teasing of Mission. He knew she wouldn’t let him live it down since he had always worn it since they’ve met. If he was lucky maybe Zaalabar would get her to stop. And of course there was the young twi'lek sitting on the couch in the main hull. “Hey Carth, Where’s your jacket? I thought that thing never came off.” She quipped, a small smirk on her face. Carth only ignored her and walked towards the cockpit.

On his way to the pilot’s chair, he passed Bastilla in the corridor. The jedi smiled. “Oh Carth, I believe you left your jacket in the cockpit.” She didn’t say anything more as she continued down the hall. Carth froze and looked at her before turning back to the way he was going. He left his jacket there? But…he never took it off there. Or perhaps he did and he just didn’t remember?

Upon entering the cockpit he stopped. Sitting in the co-pilot’s chair was M/n…wearing Carth’s jacket. The other man hadn’t noticed Carth yet and was focusing on the board of lights in front of him. Carth smiled and walked up to the man before placing his hand on his shoulder. “Nice Jacket. Where’d you find it?”

M/n jumped at both the hand and the voice. He had been so distracted it was like Carth snuck up on him. “Carth! I didn’t realize you were up. Oh!” He remembered he was wearing the pilot’s jacket. “I’m sorry. When I woke up I was still half asleep and just put something on. I can give it back to you if you-”

“No.” Carth said maybe a bit too hastily. His face went red. “I-I mean no it’s okay. You look-you look good in it.” M/n smiled at him. Carth cleared his throat before slipping into the pilot’s seat. “Well, let’s keep going shall we?” The pilot said trying to focus on anything but the other man next to him.

M/n chuckled and turned back to the board. “Sounds good to me. Next stop, Manaan.” Carth punched in the coordinates and prepped the ship for take off. Though he wouldn’t be able to focus thinking of M/n wearing his jacket next to him. He did look good in it.

[starpeace]

i would honestly, without a shade of irony love to see what you, as a person active in 2022 star wars fandom, would put together as the plot of kotor, a game that came out literally in the year you were born. like. what parts of this have gotten so firmly embedded in the fandom consciousness that they remain active 19 years later. what takes have been reborn in a new era. fandom is a magical place.

ok so i have a decent amount of kotor knowledge absorbed from the mutuals so sure, i can do this, i have trained for this

you’re just some guy except WAIT you had amnesia the whole time and you’re actually revan, you’re sexy and gnc af, looking into your eyes is like looking into the heart of the force, whatever. you have a cool mask and red and purple lightsabers. bastila shan is your Proper Jedi™️ gf. mission vao is your twi’lek daughter child, she’s blue and she has a wookiee pal maybe. canderous, uh, forgot his surname, canderous is your mando bff two bros sitting in a hot tub five feet apart. juhani (?) is a catgirl lesbian thats all i know abt her. carth (his name isnt carth. is his name really carth?) is your token cishet friend i guess and i think he has a dead wife. did you kill his wife? uhhh... oh! darth malak was your buddy back when you were a sith he’s the bald guy with the tattoos on his head. but he betrayed you and that’s when the jedi took all your memories away, which, insane move but it made for incredibly sexy storytelling and we all know the jedi are Like That so we’ll allow it. before being a sith you were a jedi who wanted to go to war and the other jedi were like fuck you but you were too cool for them

i’m really not sure what you actually DO in the game. who are you fighting? malak? are there other sith? you just fly around and uhh hang out with these guys. you go to. planets. is your ship called the ebon hawk or is that the second game? anyway malak tells you who you are and it’s a bit of an ‘i am your father’ ‘NOOOO’ moment but you get over it probably or maybe not because you can be evil in this game, i’m pretty sure. you can go light side or dark side at the end and i'm pretty sure bastila goes with u either way. anyway. there’s also a second game where you’re somebody called the exile and maybe your name is also meetra? there’s a guy (ur bf? optional bf?) called atton rand with tragic death (???) scene lines (this is literally all i picked up sorry mr rand. the ones that go like, fuck how do they go. something about laughing and wasn’t funny?) and also KREIA is here <3 she’s an evil grandmother with great takes on the jedi order. that’s it that’s kotor

[dbhshitpostgalore]

I hate when you get obsessed with a fandom only to find out there's like 6 fanfics because you somehow found a niche interest. So, you occasionally go back to check and yet all is still the same.

Let me just use this as a soap box to scream at you all need to play Ebon Light.

Its a visual novel.

Its free and amazing.

There are hot elf bois.

They have emo hair.

Need I really say more?