#edit: since its being asked i only knew him from crash course in highschool

[mxstyk13]

i have no one to share this with and its actually mind fucking me. i just learned JOHN GREEN wrote "The Fault in Our Stars"....... THE john green?? HUH? i literally read like my life depends on it, how have i missed this?

[oneofyatosfollowers]

Yatori Week 2021- Day 7

@yatoriweek2021

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32090953/chapters/79500055

Fanfiction: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13905660/1/Yatori-Week-2021

It was a natural law in this world that humans were connected by ties. 

Individuals connected to one another through spiritual bonds, their relationship in it’s very essence. Most of these bonds are created as a person goes through life: best friends, bosses, classmates. There were only a handful of relationships that are decided before an individual is born into the world. The most suspenseful and life changing bond a person had no control over was who they fell in love with. Their soulmate. It was someone they were guaranteed to meet and whose existence was the only solid evidence of bonds people had. Unlike every other tie a person develops, an individual is given a hint about the bond before it’s ever really tied. Once the individual turns 16, the first words their soulmate will say to them appear as an unerasable mark on the person’s body. It is the only designation of the tie the two are destined to share. While a soulmate bond can never be broken, if they die, a new soulmate is matched to the individual. The words disappear as new words form elsewhere on the skin.

The entire thing was romanticized by society, especially newly turned-sixteen year olds. Of course Hiyori was no exception. She wasn’t as vociferous as her other female classmates but that didn’t mean Hiyori wasn’t excited the morning after her sixteenth birthday and searched her body. Which is why when she finally found the word, neatly scrawled out on the soft part of her arm, Hiyori’s entire future came crashing down around her.

“Hiyori!” Yama whined, “come on, why can’t you just show us what it says!” Her friend insisted during lunch break. It’s been over a month since Hiyori turned sixteen and since then she has put makeup on her arm every day. Thankfully this was not an uncommon practice, most people covered the words for their future soulmate for various reasons. Unfortunately, Hiyori’s reason was one of the more unsavory ones. Not that she could ever tell anyone that.

“Because Yama! It’s a- it’s a surprise! I want to be the only one who knows when I meet him. It has to stay a secret,” Hiyori answered. As her friends swooned and sighed she subconsciously tucked her arm against her stomach, taking care not to let the make-up rub off.

“Of course, it’s much more romantic that way! Lots of people do it,” Ami agreed. They giggled and turned the conversation to other stories of cute soulmate meetings. What Hiyori told them was common, it was natural for people to want to get to know their soulmate before telling others close to them. Part of Hiyori, on the other hand, would rather not meet her soulmate at all. She frowned at her arm later that day in the bathroom. It was best to re-apply makeup every four hours. There was some leeway with the rules of the universe. It wasn’t just the first ‘word’ that was written on the skin, it was more like the first sentence. For Yama, she had “You like that band too?” scrawled on her back while Ami just had “Excuse me, miss” on her hip. Hiyori only had one word. One word that would not disappear until he said it to her. That wasn’t the thing that bothered her. Despite hearing about the wonders love did for a person, how it felt, Hiyori did not want to fall for someone who’s first word to her is going to be “boobs.”

---

Yato stepped out of the convenience store with a sigh. He could already hear Yukine complaining about microwave food for dinner but pay has been rather tight this month. Since he never graduated highschool, despite self-teaching most subjects, Yato’s job opportunities were far and few in between. As such he could only do odd jobs around town and whatever else he could sweet-talk his way into. The past month was the convenience store during the day and bartending at night and on weekends; while next week he would spend his time window washing and move the convenience store to the night shift. They were lucky they decided to room with Kazuma at college and help split the rent and fees, but taking care of a teenager when you were barely 23 was a handful in various ways. Still, Yato didn’t regret it. He considered himself to be a rather lonely and standoff-ish person- having been raised by a violent, manipulating man- and Yukine was the same. Raising him was the least Yato could do with his sorry life; that way at least Yukine could feel better about meeting whoever he was destined for.

As Yato continued down the street he swerved around giggling couples and happy families. Part of him wanted to gag and roll his eyes, but that part was very old and small compared to the rest of him. The majority of him just glanced at them with blank eyes and a melancholy sigh, still unbelieving of the concept and its power. It wasn’t that he didn’t have one, of course he did. Yato just didn’t believe that- whoever they were- would truly love him as he was and would live happily ever after with him. Yato was aware he wasn’t the type of guy parents wanted their daughter or son to bring home, if his frequent homeless was anything to go by. Bad luck and misfortune followed Yato around like the plague to the point where Yato felt sorry for the person forcibly tied to him.

“I’m home!” Yato called into the house. He would have to pull himself out of his funk before Yukine got concerned. As he took his shoes off, Yato dug around in his pocket for the extra change he collected and let them clink into the glass bottle on the table. Kazuma was still working on his masters, which meant they would be able to live in this nice place for at least another couple years. The money in the bottle was originally for Yato’s proper education which then transferred to Yukine’s college fund. Of course that was still up for argument but they would need a place to live eventually. With another sigh, Yato walked into the kitchen to see Kazuma and Yukine eating a healthier looking meal.

“Welcome back,” Kazuma greeted. The third seat at the table had a plate with larger portions on it, steam coming from the top.

“How was work?” Yukine asked around his food.

“Don’t choke,” Yato immediately switched into mother-hen mode which caused the kid to roll his eyes.

“Rough day?” Kazuma asked as he watched Yato put the instant food away.

“Not really,” Yato shrugged. It was true, nothing particularly happened today but maybe that was the problem.

“Still haven’t talked to your soulmate, huh?” Yukine snickered. From across the table, Kazuma chided him but Yato just rolled up the newest edition of Yukine’s favorite magazine he picked up and whacked him lightly on the head.

“Well we can’t all be like Mr. Asked-Out-My-Soulmate-The-Moment-I-Turned-Sixteen over here,” Yato thumbed over to Kazuma who just stuck his nose in the air.

“I knew it was her before-hand. I could just tell.” He insisted.

“Yeah, well, knowing Yato he’s going to end up as one of those people who don’t meet their soulmate until they’re 80,” Yukine scoffed, “and with first words like that I wouldn’t want to anyway.”

“Yukine!” Kazuma hissed. Yato just waved him off, the kid didn’t mean any harm.

“You better be careful. You know they say it’s bad to make fun of another’s soulmate, especially when you haven’t gotten yours yet,” Yato grinned at the kid who happily took the gift.

“I thought a soulmate was chosen when you were born?” Yukine huffed.

“Hmm that’s up to the gods,” Yato sang, “two more years, two more years.” He held up a peace sign at the fourteen year old who just huffed again and opened the magazine.

“Yato,” Kazuma said as he walked by, though it was unclear what he was going to say. Not in the mood for pity, Yato just winked.

“I’m going to hop in the shower real quick.” He scampered off down the hall just as Kazuma and Yukine got into their bickering match. Yukine didn’t understand why Kazuma was so iffy with soulmates around Yato and that was understandable. There were many reasons as to why that the kid didn’t know. For one, Yato was the one who got Kazuma to his soulmate, introduced them in fact, but that was a story for another day.

Once the shut door cut off their voices, Yato sighed again and started to undress. First he took off his ascot, which revealed the words on the side of his neck, then his shirt which revealed his empty naval. Yes, Yato did have a soulmate, but the one that claimed his neck was different than the one he once had. One glance at his phone, and the date, revealed the reason he had been so down: it was the anniversary of his original soulmate’s death. Regardless of the fact that it had been years, or that Yato had lost track of the date, the loss of a soulmate was something he felt annually whether he acknowledged it or not. That very fact was one of the only reasons Yato still believed in the power of ties.

In the mirror, Yato’s eyes traced the empty skin under his belly button like he had done when he was younger. When he turned 16 he spent the entire night wide awake, waiting for the fabled words to appear. He remembered being so happy when they did, running to the bathroom much like this one to read the words “Aren’t The Cherry Blossoms Beautiful?” He had dreamed about the day he would meet her, spending most of his time hanging around sakura trees and attending festivals. He wondered what she would look like, what she would be like, what his words to her were. With a sentence like that, she sounded kind. The words made him want to be kind too, they were his saving grace that could never go away no matter how much his father tried. But then, just as quietly as they appeared, they disappeared. After six months. He had been frantic, panicked, pulling and tugging at his skin until it turned red, running down stairs with tears rolling down his face. Kazuma was there for him but even he could sense the effect it had on Yato.

“They must have died,” his father had said, “that’s what happens.” The picture of Yato’s mother hung on the wall.

“You’ll get a new one eventually,” he checked his wrist to look at his own second soulmate, “but whether or not you choose to remain loyal to the first is up to you. The gods are fickle that way.”

Shaking his head of the memory, Yato forced his eyes up to his new future. He refused to become miserable like his father, taking out his loss on the children a soulmate’s love produced. Yato would be kind to his soulmate and treat her like the precious blessing she was. At least, that’s what Yato told himself. When the new words appeared one morning on his neck years later- showing how much younger his soulmate was- his sister had laughed. She said that the gods made a mistake with the first and that he was destined to be with a gyaru. What even was a “Jungle Savate” anyway? At the time he had done a quick google search, the words were the name of a wrestling move, and Yukine laughed that he would fall in love with a beefy wrestler. Of course Kazuma said that there were wrestling schools across the country and that a spunky fighter would match Yato perfectly. Either way, Yato may or may not have gone to the supposed wrestling schools once or twice. Even thought about signing up if it weren’t so expensive. But Yato had long since decided to focus on taking care of himself and Yukine, allowing the soulmate to appear naturally.

“Gyarus aren't that bad anyway,” Yato muttered to himself in the shower.

“Just keep telling yourself that!” Yukine hollered from the hall.

“Yukine!” Kazuma gasped loudly. Despite himself, Yato chuckled and decided that whatever makeup skills he learned from his sister would be put to good use.

---

Even though soulmates were the biggest event in a high schoolers’ life, there were other landmarks that were also exciting to experience. The major event coming up for Hiyori was the culture festival. Since she wasn’t in any club, she would be helpling her class put together a cafe. She had been sent to the home-ec room to grab some essentials and was on her way back to the classroom when Ami came running down the hall.

“Hiyori! Hiyori!” She called, arms waving. This was rather odd for the no-nonsense girl to do so Hiyori stopped immediately. Her friend ran up to her with a breathless smile.

“Yama just found her soulmate!” Ami exclaimed.

“Really?” Hiyori gasped. With a nod, Ami ran back to the classroom with Hiyori closely behind. Entering the room, the entire class was still in applause for the new couple, taking turns congratulating them as they gushed over the event. Yama was not so shamefully showing off her now empty back while the young man standing next to her showed off a blank calf. He was tall with short black hair and a kind smile.

“Awe I missed it,” Hiyori sighed good-naturedly. She giggled with Ami regardless.

“His name is Abe! He’s in the grade ahead of us which is why she’s never seen him before! Turns out he was looking for his friend and accidentally walked into the wrong classroom. What a coincidence, huh?” Ami gushed.

“Seriously,” Hiyori gasped with awe, “that’s all it takes huh?” They mused for a moment before approaching their best friend and giving their congratulations. The merriment went on for about ten minutes before the teacher gently nudged the class back to work and Abe back to class. The two made plans for a date that night and Yama waved him goodbye. As Hiyori was directed to where she should put her things, she noticed even the window-wiping guy was applauding her friend. While the class continued to work, Yama went on about the event to Hiyori and Ami non-stop. Behind her the window man swayed back and forth on his elevated bench.

“So yeah, I just bumped into him and he saw my phone key chain and-” Yama’s chattering was cut off by loud laughter. A group of the more rowdy group of boys were slacking on their work in favor of snickering with the window cleaner. The teacher had left some time ago which allowed the man to splash suds on the glass and draw rather inappropriate images.

“Ugh,” Ami scoffed, “honestly some boys never grow up. It’s like they're looking at their future’s reflection.” With another roll of their eyes, Hiyori’s friends went back to their project while Hiyori kept watching. The minor pity and disgust she felt for the man quickly faded when he wiped the drawing away and instead continued on with his work. Instead of the regular rhythmic wiping he had been doing before, the man felt he still had an audience to put on a show for. With a new splash of soap, the man twirled the wiper with his fingers, tossing it in the air before spinning it along the glass. Even Hiyori found herself in awe as he kept it spinning along the window, seemingly on its own, while he pulled out a second one that moved at lightning speed to clean up after it. While he made quick work of the window, keeping the students who watched entranced, Hiyori found herself looking past the theatrics and the barrier at the man.

He was young, like someone who should be in college with her brother not washing windows in the middle of a weekday. He had nondescript black hair, white tee-shirt, scarf, and paint stained jeans with sneakers. His eyes, on the other hand, were something Hiyori had to stare at. From her spot within the classroom, Hiyori could tell how piercing they were. They were blue, bright blue that sharply stood out against the clear sky behind him like day time stars. They were amused, crinked by his slight smirk as he continued his dance, yet Hiyori felt they weren’t as bright as they could be. Even with the tiredness, or lack of happiness, she thought the man felt, his performance devolved into actual dancing with his wipers and water. He didn’t seem to notice most of the students went back to ignoring him but the perfect pigeon he managed to shape with the water had Hiyori sputtering out a laugh.

“Ooo Hiyori! Laughing at the attractive window man with the wet t-shirt? What would your mother say?” Yama suddenly teased, “not that I blame you.” They looked at the man together, Hiyori’s eyes catching onto the ropes holding up the bench.

“Yama, you literally just found your soulmate,” Ami huffed at her. They dissolved into giggles as the window washer did a backflip and landed heavily on the metal seat, the ropes holding him up stretching under the stress.

“Hiyori? Hiyori!” Ami’s called after her as Hiyori sprang to her feet. Hiyori ignored them and rushed to the back of the class, pushing her way through the group of boys to the window. By now the man had noticed her and stopped his dancing, but behind him one of the ropes was starting to unravel, unnoticed by everyone else.

“Oi! Iki!”

“What the hell?” The boys sounded in alarm as Hiyori unlocked the window and threw it open. It slid out of the way with a harsh clatter just as the rope untied itself. For a moment, Hiyori was face to face with the blue-eyed man, expressions a mirror image of intense fear. The connection between their gaze was shattered as he started to fall and Hiyori lurched her hand out to him, not noticing the way her knee was slipping off the edge.

Hiyori shut her eyes as she fell through the air, the fall seemed to take forever yet was over in an instant. As the wind whipped through her hair, roaring against her ears, Hiyori’s outstretched hand accomplished it’s task of grabbing onto his shirt. It was something she failed to notice, just as she didn’t notice the way his arms wrapped protectively around her, latching her against his chest to try and cushion her fall.

In a second, they fell to the ground with a harsh thud, Hiyori’s entire body jolting from the impact. It knocked the wind out of her. Hiyori kept her eyes screwed shut and she tried to breathe in and out, a tear squeezing from her eye. Somewhere she heard people shouting along with the groan of the man she pushed. Eventually she tried to get up, blinking away the spots in her vision as her balled fists pushed against whatever they were holding. She only made it a couple inches forward before the adrenaline and shock caused her arms to give out and she fell back down.

“Hiyori!” Yama cried from above.

“Hiyori, are you alright?” Ami exclaimed. More shouting came from above and Hiyori opted not to try and lift herself up.

“Yeah I’m fine!” She called. Which was surprisingly true. They only fell from the second story window but Hiyori figured something would be broken. It was then that the mass under her groaned and Hiyori realized the reason behind her lack of injuries. With a gasp she looked down, unable to actually see the man she was completely laying on top of. Her mouth opened and closed as Hiyori struggled to ask if he was okay, or apologize, or berrade him for dancing while suspended in the air. The man, however, was quicker to get in control of his limbs and frantically tapped her sides and shoulder. She could feel him fight the same battle as her, taking in a breath so deep, Hiyori felt herself rise.

“Boobs,” he wheezed. Hiyori heard herself squawk as her body temperature boiled from her feet to her head. The window washer batted her shoulder again, a little harder. This time Hiyori felt his mouth move, hot and gasping against her chest.

“Heavy. Can’t breathe,” he gasped. With another noise that sounded between a yelp of embarrassment and a cry of outrage, Hiyori was finally able to scramble off him. She couldn’t go far, just able to sit next to him with her arms wrapped around her top. With knitted brows, Hiyori watched him gasp for air like he just endured CPR. It was then that Hiyori realized three things. One, this man called her heavy; Two, she almost suffocated him with her breasts in front of the school; Three, he was her soulmate. With another gasp he forced himself to a sitting position, his fingers kneading his forehead as he groaned.

“Did someone get a teacher?”

“Are they okay? That girl just jumped out of the window!”

“Did he just say ‘boobs’?” The student chatter from the open windows finally flooded into Hiyori’s senses. Mortified, the arms wrapped around her breasts hugged them tighter against her. In her panic she stood sharply, stumbling for a second before catching herself. The action caught his attention and those bright blue eyes whipped up to her.

“Hey, are you okay?” He asked, concerned, “what were you thinking jumping out of the window like that?” It was as if he didn’t notice the bench that once suspended him in the air was now lopsided tilting down towards a nasty fall. The absolute nerve of him! The insult, the sexual harassment, the absolute lack of brain cells! Hiyori felt the steam from her fury and embarrassment cause her teeth to grind under the pressure. She seethed as the man before her- her soulmate no less- was just blinking up at her with honest worry, unaware that she was a smoking gun ready to fire. Hiyori didn’t even have time to think about this being the first thing she said to him as she pivoted her back foot.

“Jungle,” Hiyori lashed her leg out, “Savate!” With a twist of her body and an absolutely perfect form, the top of her foot landed squarely along the light blue targets. His eyes only had time to widen before his head was sent harshly back down to the ground. It took a couple of heaving breaths for Hiyori to realize- rather proudly- the man was knocked out cold. Then it took until after the teachers arrived, followed by the paramedics accepting Hiyori’s request to bring them to her parent’s hospital, for her to realize what her first words to her soulmate were.

---

When Yato came to, he could already feel the smile on his face. It was rather confusing at first, his brain couldn’t come up with the answer as to why he was happy. But when a white light blinded his retinas, Yato figured he must be in heaven. Before he could send an honest apology to his soulmate for kicking the bucket so easily, he heard the voice of another- less angelic- little angel.

“If you’re going to wake up just do it already, stop moaning like you’re dying,” sassed Yukine from somewhere at his side.

“Yukine please! He’s concussed with broken ribs and has a cracked rib cage,” Kazuma fretted from the other side. Smile already in place, Yato could only huff a laugh and rub his eyes. The headache had settled in but Yato forced himself to blink away the lights, eying the concerned way his friends were leaning forward. Even with Yukine’s scowl and glare Yato could clearly see the blonde’s red-rimmed eyes. The image was always adorable, the kid tended to be a cry baby, but Yato remembered he was smiling for another reason.

His soulmate. A spunky, feisty, beautiful young woman who was just as kind hearted as he had hoped. It was a bit off-putting that she was still a highschool student- laws covering soulmates would make Yato look a little better- but Yato figured she must have recently turned 16. It made him feel better that she had no problem cracking him across the face with one hell of a kick when he was out of line, not that he did it on purpose. Still, he owed it to her to go talk to her. He wanted to go talk to her! And make sure he was remembering correctly and it wasn’t the concussion talking. Looking around, Yato was in a hospital bed, that was for sure. Under a thin white blanket on a raised mattress. The LED lights showed that they were the only ones in the room, that no other beds were lined up next to him. Come to think of it, the room was ridiculously nice. Far too nice for anything in their budget. Maybe he really was in heaven and these were just fake roommates.

“Where am I?” Yato asked. His question was met with silence as Yukine and Kazuma shared a concerned look from across the bed sheets. Suddenly, Yukine slipped his hand into Yato’s and his big, baby eyes grew shiny with concern.

“Yato?” Yukine asked, “do you remember us?” He said it so honestly, so gently, that Yato’s expression dropped into shock. Biting his lip, Yato realized he had a golden opportunity here but there were more important things to do than making his kid cry.

“I don’t have amnesia, Yukine. I still remember the little munchkin that mooches off of my side gigs,” Yato snorted, squeezing their hands. With a grin, Yato and Kazuma snickered as Yukine hissed and tossed their hands off to the side.

“That was some fall though! I heard you saved a girl that jumped after you?” Kazuma said.

“She did jump!” Yukine gasped, “or did you grab her?” He accused with narrow eyes.

“I did not! She tried to grab me and we both fell,” Yato explained. So his memory wasn’t screwy. The first thing that girl said to him was ‘Jungle Savate’ the same as that famous kick. Even better! The first word he said to her was...was…

“What is it? Are you in pain?” Kazuma fretted when Yato groaned and let his head fall back against the pillow.

“What about her? Did she get hurt?” Yato asked, eyes closed.

“No actually. They put her down the hall and she walked away without any bruises,” Kazuma said, “in fact it was her that insisted on coming to this hospital. Apparently she has family here, which is why they put you up for free.”

“For free really?” Yukine blinked.

“Yeah, I was talking to the doctor. He was really grateful. On behalf of the family I guess.” Kazuma shrugged.

“Well that’s really nice of her,” Yato sighed, a smile growing back on his face. She truly was kind, and seemed to come from a loving, equally kind family. Yato made a vow to worship the ground she walked on. Before Yato could open his mouth to inform his friends about the amazing, life-changing, discovery he made in such an in-characterly unlucky way, they heard a group of girls down the hall.

“Are you sure you should be moving around, Hiyori?” One voice echoed. Yato’s heart leaped in his throat and his mouth clicked shut.

“Yeah Hiyori, and why do you even want to see this pervert anyway?” Another comment sounded even closer and stabbed Yato right through the heart. They were easily heard by the rest of the room and Yukine gave Yato a shoulder pat filled with mock sympathy. There was some harsh sushing from the group of gossiping girls as they approached his room.

“Cause he saved my life and got hurt that’s why,” a familiar voice whispered. It took a couple moments before a trio of highschool girls entered Yato’s hospital room, taking a moment to whisper about his name. They walked in like they owned the place, like they were going to kick Yato out of their lunch table. In the middle, Yato’s soulmate led the other two. She fit his memory perfectly, long brown hair with round brown eyes. Now that she didn’t have a look of absolute fear and panic, Yato noticed her eyes had specks of mahogany within their depths. He could stare at them for hours and happily get lost. Unfortunately, she still had a look of nervous anxiety and Yato was reminded of the elephant between them.

“Um, hello! Are you, um, the guy who was washing our windows?” The girl with the shortest hair asked.

“Yes I am,” Yato smiled, “and you can just call me Yato.” He let his eyes move from her to his soulmate, keeping his smile as tamed as he could.

“Thank you for saving our dear Hiyori!” The girl wailed, the other one with glasses comforting her. Hiyori suddenly seemed to straighten out slightly and Yato caught her pressing the inside of his arm against her side. From what he could see, the skin was empty, and he didn’t have to look to know his neck was just as clear. It seemed the short haired girl wasn’t the only one with bravery, as his soulmate cleared her throat and steeled herself.

“Hello Yato, my name is Hiyori Iki. It’s nice to meet you.” She came to stand next to Yukine, her eyes never releasing Yato from her gaze, and she stuck out her hand. Yato let his eyes flicker to the perfectly manicured hand then back up to her. Amusement curled his lips and sparked his eyes. But he just snorted and took the offered greeting.

“It’s nice to meet you too. I heard you are alright, is that true?” Yato asked. As happy as he was, the thought of his soulmate getting hurt because of him didn’t sit right. His question seemed to surprise her, shock shooting up her arm and spreading a pretty pink across her cheeks.

“Oh, um, yes, I’m alright. Thank you,” she sputtered, pulling her hand back. The room watched as they stared at each other, Yato’s grin only growing, the more red he watched spread across her face. Yato ignored the very intense way Kazuma was staring at his empty neck, watching their interaction with his famous meticulousness.

“What is wrong with you,” Yukine suddenly growled from his chair. This caught Hiyori’s attention and she looked at the blonde like she just noticed he was there. The little shyster was quick to slap on that adorable smile.

“Thank you for helping this guy out with the medical bills. He’s the type to insist he’s fine until he falls over dead!” Yukine tried to joke but Hiyori looked rather concerned.

“Ah!” Yato leaped forward only for his battered ribcage to knock the wind out of him. Yato wheezed as pain shot through his bones but when he saw the pretty Hiyori reach out in concern, he forced another wobbly smile. The last thing he wanted was for her to think he didn’t believe in self care, or worse, that he was dirt poor. Which he was.

“He’s only joking! Of course I go to the doctor! Just not one as nice as this,” Yato quickly said, “but yes, thank you for your generosity and please thank your family for me too. Let me know if they need anything. Anything at all!” His smile was the largest it’s been his entire life and a laughter bubbled up from his throat. Yato could feel the entire room looking at him like the concussion caused serious brain damage but he didn’t care. Hopefully they would write off the stray tears as part of his joy.

“Oh, well, I’m sure my parents don’t need window washing?” Hiyori, the sweet angel, tried. It was clear she was uncomfortable, her friends as well. Thankfully, Kazuma got over himself and became the ever so level headed friend. Standing up, Kazuma cleared his throat.

“My name is Kazuma and this is Yukine, we are Yato’s roommates and very close friends. We also wanted to thank you and your family for all your help,” Kazuma said, “and if I may, what Yato forgot to say is that he’s a man of many trades. A handyman if you will. So if your parents needed any sort of repairs done, he would be more than happy to do them for free.” His words smoothed over the tension in the room and Yato found himself sighing along with everyone else.

“Oh, well, thank you, I’ll let them know.” Hiyori said.

“You’ll need my number!” Yato suddenly gasped. The room’s air suddenly turned sour but this time Hiyori just blinked at him. There were a couple seconds where she said nothing. She didn’t look uncomfortable, just thoughtful, she held his gaze evenly with just as much knowing.

“Sure,” she eventually said. Her friends looked shocked at her, along with Yukine, but Kazuma just pushed his glasses with his finger to hide his smile.

“If you would, Yukine,” Yato pressed. When the kid did nothing but look at Yato like he just squashed a spider with his bare hands on his homework, Yato cleared his throat and pointed his head in the young lady’s direction. The kid scoffed and didn’t even bother trying to hide his eye roll but Yato considered it a win that he pulled his backpack onto his lap and took out one of Yato’s business cards.

“Oh! Thank you!” Hiyori took it a bit too happily. Then, to everyone’s shock, she took out her phone and started typing into it. Yato was eliated, so much so that his grin grew so wide his mouth started to open. Before he realized it, he was doing the one thing he shouldn’t: talking. From his side, Kazuma adopted a look of horror.

“Just don’t put me in your phone as the boob guy, alright?” Yato laughed again. His eyes were shut so he didn’t see the people surrounding him collectively flinch. The card was crumpled in the girl’s fist as she started vibrating with that mortified-fueled fury.

“Jungle Savate!” Her voice shocked his heart and it thudded happily while his head mourned the sudden impact. She really was incredible, for her foot to not only reach his face from that height but to hit the exact same spot as before. At least this time she didn’t knock him out again, but he wasn’t fully conscious when she spun around with a huff and walked away.

“Geez, what's your problem? You’re so creepy,” Yukine said, failing to hide his snickering.

“I’m in love,” Yato swooned, his sigh sounded a little more loopy than it should. The young men at his sides scoffed but for different reasons.

“You’re messed up is what you are. She’s in highschool. You just took too many hits to the head,” Yukine rolled his eyes so hard he didn’t see Kazuma making gestures to his neck and Yato’s neck. So, in his lull, Yato decided to help the kid out.

“She’s my soulmate.”

“Hah. Yeah,” Yukine peaked out the hallway and let his eyes wander up expensive shoes, long legs, swaying hips, a highschool uniform, and smooth hair, “sure she is.”

[ellesjournals]

The Calm Before the Storm

The 10th day of January marked the last day of the break just before the start of the second semester. Following the not-so-good first semester of my freshman year, the second semester meant two things to me. First, it meant a new beginning, a chance to make up for my mistakes and for the times I failed myself, and an opportunity to apply what first sem has taught me. Second, it was a challenge, really. I won't deny that it's a lump pushing its way out of my throat, a hollow feeling in my stomach. It's scary, coming off from a really horrible month (or should I say sem) since I felt the need to bounce back and that I can't fail again.

In an attempt to calm myself down, I decided to fight my urge to stay in the comfort of my bed in my dormitory room. I strolled around the campus, ignoring the fact that though I like walking and observing lifeforms, I hate how every now and then, I have to face the perennial challenge of confidently crossing streets on my own. I brought a piece of yema with me, jokingly thinking that if I'd miraculously bump into someone I know, I'd give it to him. (Yes, I said "him".) I wore a white jacket, held my phone in one of its pockets and played some music through my earphones, and finally headed to the Acad Oval. I saw the trees exhibiting crown shyness, the empty benches, and the ice cream cart. I tried to slowly breathe and take in everything because I knew that after that day, I'd be experiencing a major change. College has its own state of nonpermanency: I have to take new classes, which meant new schedule, new professors, new readings and new set of faces to know. Even though I didn't like the first sem that much, I knew it won't be easy to grow out of something I'm used to. No more blockmates. No more routines my body has memorized. No more one and a half-hour or three-hour breaks in between, the ones that took me some time to figure out how to spend wisely. No more late Tuesday and Thursday classes. Somehow, I knew I had to re-learn many things again. That sunk in all at once: I knew it won't be the same anymore. I took in everything with that in mind, knowing that the next day, the campus won't be as calm again. The next day, should I choose to walk around the oval again, I knew I'd be seeing a lot more people and a lot more cars. It would feel more alive and though I love seeing signs of life, it would also mean there would be a lot of energy to absorb and sometimes it exhausts me. I like solitude.

I decided to write one last piece because I knew that when the sem starts, I won't have much free time anymore and besides, I knew I didn't really have a productive break for I had other things to do. It was also like my gift for myself since I know the feeling of accomplishment I get whenever I finish a piece, no matter how badly-written it is. So while going around the oval, I was trying to form a narrative, was jotting random concepts here and there until the storyline became somehow clear to me. My heart was heavy and I guess that translated to my writing because before I knew it, I already had something that is somehow sad. After I had keyed in all ideas, I wanted to settle down so I walked to the Sunken Garden, sat on the grass and started properly working on the piece. I came up with like a short scene in which the girl was narrating how she felt as she and the guy said their goodbyes, not knowing when they'll see each other again, unsure if the guy would even think about her ever in the future. I like capturing mood rather than exploring what happened (and I hope it was what my writings project).

It took me some time to finish it, but I was somehow satisfied that I actually got to finish it, that I didn't have to let it sit for like five days before I reopen it in a time when I'm not in the momentum to write about it anymore. I stood and went to the other side of the Sunken Garden, and read my draft again, just wanting to see it with fresh eyes, and correcting minor errors that I found. I sat on one of the benches, browsed through my gallery, edited a photo I could attach to it when I'll post it, and decided to walk back to the dorm. I was feeling fine. Not the happy-and-energetic okay but just the okay okay, the I'm-not-gonna-cry okay. After all, I was feeling satisfied. And this is when one of my favorite moments happened.

I crossed the street, paying much attention to the car that was about to pass, running a little. When I successfully came to the other side, I was surprised to see a person, a friend who I really, really love. A surprise it is — he was the one I was thinking about giving the yema to. However, I ate the yema at the oval since I knew it was more impossible than possible to see him around that afternoon. So, back to the surprise — I saw him and for a moment, I thought my mind was messing with me. I thought I was thinking too much and my mind was tricking me into thinking he's there when he isn't. But it's real, he was really standing in front of me. He said that the figure of me using my phone looked familiar.

I was already thankful for that, he's so close to my heart and was one of the people who kept me sane during the very difficult first sem days. Seeing him, being in his presence, getting to experience knowing I have such a friend — that was enough for me. That already lifted my heavy feeling and I may have uttered a prayer of thanks. God must have known I needed that.

While we were walking, he asked me to sit down for a while and we settled in one of the benches in front of the College of Engineering building. We talked about a lot of things. He's a very academic man and is a little more mature than I am. The things we talked about ranged from me taking up chess class — a class he has taken during the previous semester (with him giving me a crash course even if I audibly said "ayoko sayo" when he asked me to play with him) — to the names of my siblings to the posture of people who are jogging. He was the one who took the lead, asking questions that he may seem to have pre-planned in his mind. After all, in our friendship, he's the more organized one. He was very patient, too. We reminisced some moments from our own highschool lives. Of course, we also talked about the upcoming sem and how we felt about it. We may or may not have joked about a few things in between our "serious" discussion. I felt less alone. I learned a lot from him, like I always do; I also learned a lot about him.

As a person who prefers to capture the mood more than the plot, I can't really tell all the topics we touched on, but I know I can tell how I felt. It was a rare feeling but I only know a few people who had made me feel like that. It felt as if I am in a dream. The world looked dreamy, hazy and bright; I felt like it was easy to forget I am sitting in a bench because everything felt light, as if I am floating. It was one of the few days when I am aware that I am smiling. It felt good, it felt comfortable, it felt right. Though we talked in a place which is basically just on the side of the road and vehicles and people were passing by every once in a while, it felt as if they are less important, that they are just part of the milieu. I felt very in the moment, which is odd since an unhealthy habit I have is the fact that I either think too much about the past or the future.

When it was already getting dark, we decided to walk back to our respective dorms (his was kind of adjacent to mine). It felt like the first semester, the nights when we were walking from our philosophy class, the times when we would have little conversation about our lives (though it was just mostly me ranting and telling him how tired I am). He's a very kind man. I knew I wanted to hug him that much because if you'd ever meet such a beautiful person, I swear that would be your first instinct.

When it was the time to say goodbye, I hugged him a little longer than usual because I knew it would be long before I'd get to do that again and also because I really, really do love him. I felt strong and I felt a little more ready for the second semester.

It was so satisfying to have hugged him like that. When we parted, I knew I miss him already, but it was the satisfied kind of missing him, not the I-wish-I-did-this-I-wish-I-told-him-that kind.

It was a fairly beautiful day. It was definitely the calm before the storm. I may or may not have thought about it before I went to bed that night; I still think about it now. | elle

[shiningrye]

Baker’s Dozen -1 2016

Please lady, my tinnitus.

It may be a few months into 2017 but it’s not too late to review the year that was. It can be worthwhile to reflect on the past, to celebrate successes and learn from shortcomings, to track your progress and see how you’ve grown, and to dwell and ruminate on missed opportunities while you lie awake in your bed at two in the morning trapped in a nihilistic prison of your own mind.

I set out every year to challenge myself to do twelve projects. These can be paid gigs or just personal projects that I complete, but I try to get one finished a month. I feel it’s a great motivator and a good way to improve my skills and at the very least it’s a good productive outlet. I generally only count projects or goals that relate to filmmaking or digital media to keep me more focused.

Here’s how I did (in order of release/completion):

1. Four Feet Companion Foundation - Pucks for Paws

The first project of the year I finished was a volunteer gig for Four Feet Companion Foundation, this is a great little volunteer-run organization that provides financial and volunteer support to local animal charities. Being part animal myself, I was excited to take on this project and contribute to this cause. I believe this is played annually now at every Pucks for Paws event which is their big fundraising event that takes place at the Saddledome. Overall this was a pretty straightforward shoot and I was decently happy with how it turned out.

Some challenges were the logistics of scheduling and traveling to the different locations, as well as setting up the shoots alone without scouting the location first. A lot of these challenges were caused by a truncated timeline.

What I learned: Thinking back and rewatching the video, it’s obvious that in one interview the colour was way off. It ain’t purdy.

There were a few issues that I faced.

Mixed colour temperature. I was dealing with three different temperatures (daylight from the window, overhead fluorescents and a tungsten keylight) and without proper gels I really didn’t know the best course of action to take.

I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t have suitable gels or flags and I flew blind into the location.

I dun goofed. Lastly, I made a mistake in setting the white balance.

Mixed colour temperature is a beast that can only be slain one way: Unifying all light sources to one temperature. As Alex Buono (SNL and Documentary Now! DP) says, there’s no tricks around it, you just have to get all light to be the same temperature the old fashioned way. It seems obvious and is relatively straightforward to do, if albeit time consuming. A quick flick of the switch killed the overhead fluorescents, which left the two mixed sources shining. Altering light sources isn’t so bad in a small room, if you have the tools.

But I didn’t have the tools.

Logistically this was the only room we could shoot in. There were no blinds on the window and no rod or frame to clip a blanket too, even if I did have clips. You think a guy without clips is going to have a flag (fabric designed to cut light that can be easily positioned)? Hell no. I also didn’t have large enough gels to cover the window (known as CTO or colour temperature orange, alters daylight to tungsten) or the keylight (CTB or colour temperature blue, which alters tungsten light to daylight). I just wasn’t prepared.

Lastly I made an M. A mmmm-m-m-m... A mistake. Yes. A big fat one. Juicy and all tender-like.

I didn’t change the white balance on the cameras to tungsten (3200K) from daylight (5500/5600K) prior to shooting. To add insult to amateruish injury, the walls were painted in what I swear to be Tungsten Yellow, which just compounded the problem.

You’d think someone who worked for a company as a corporate videographer with a few years under their belt wouldn’t make mistakes like this. But it happens. Or at least it happened to me. The trick is to learn from your mistakes and try not to retread the same territory again.

So how did I learn from my mistakes?

The colour temperature issue may have been avoided if I was able to scout the location beforehand. Short timelines can be hard to avoid, but one thing I would’ve insisted on for this interview would’ve been requesting some pictures

of potential shooting locations. Now they may not be able to accommodate the request in time, but you have nothing to lose by asking. I assumed, falsely, that shooting in houses are all relatively the same which wasn’t the case.

Furthermore, since this shoot, my kit has grown in size to hopefully avoid a similar issue in the future.

The white balance gaffe spurred me to make a consistent mental checklist and run through it prior to every shoot since. The checklist I will share in a future post! A simple flash of my Gray Card or using a Colour Passport also would’ve saved me a headache. Over the past year I’ve learned a lot more about colour correcting and grading.

(Top) Last year I was trying to counter the yellow and orange and then glazed it with magenta maybe as a feeble attempt to make it a bit stylized? I couldn’t tell ya. With knowing what I know now, I could salvage it somewhat (Bottom) but it’s best to not make those mistakes in the first place.

That’s also not the worst of it. To add to the stress of the shoot, embarrassingly I may or may not have forgot to bring the quick release plate for the B cam, rendering its tripod useless...

                                      1/4"-20 on a lightstand is there for this reason, right?

I’m not proud.

Yeah I could’ve balanced it on the tripod head. But I did have the sense to know that gravity wins every time.

Tip: Always check your kit before you leave. Another tip: I didn’t get bogged down and give up with the amateur-hour move, I looked at what I had and used it to jerry-rig a solution. If it’s stupid but it works, it ain’t stupid. Even if it still looks stupid.

2. PONOS Apparel

Had a good time shooting this one: a web commercial for a local athletic apparel company. Shot it in a day and overall it went smoothly. Had a quick and dirty shot list that was flexible so it was fun improvising sequences and putting it together in the edit. Loved working with the director, who made shooting it a breeze.

I believe a student who attends at a local highschool created the music.

Challenges were some of the shots such as running nearly full tilt with a Glidecam but I think they worked for what it is. This is where a gimbal or Steadicam or even a vest and arm attachment would’ve made light work of it.

What I learned: I would’ve made some different editing choices now. The part that really sticks out to me now is in the deadlift scene I’d remove the ‘jump cut + crash zooms’ on the kick beat. They’re unnecessary! Sometimes I get an idea in my head and I want to run with it, but it’s easy to trap yourself in a tunnel. So ideally I should’ve taken a step back and let the edit breathe a bit before committing. Also I need to watch my exposure and ratios. The final shot (which is also the thumbnail above) the highlights are too hot and it’ll bug me forever.

3. John’s Tongue is Not Long

I had a strong urge to shoot a short so I whipped up a poem and a video idea about one of my roommates at the time, John, and his short tongue. After shooting it, I thought that the poem idea lent itself better to a song. So I enlisted the help of Chris Koehler to help put this song idea in motion. I was hoping he would take one look at the lyrics and jump at the chance to sing such glory. But alas he encouraged me to. I love singing. Alone in my car. The sing-songy genes of my ancestors were weeded out long ago. Perhaps it’s the reason why they emigrated? But I had fun and I think Chris did too. I’m stoked with how the song turned out, he killed it.

Challenges were I didn’t storyboard this or even really shot list this, just kind of went through the lyrics and shot what I thought fit. This made for a bit of problem solving in the edit but it actually wasn’t bad at all and I enjoyed making it fit.

What I learned: The idea was to shoot the first half before John went in for surgery (his wee tongue was causing him discomfort) and finish it off once he has a glorious normal length tongue. I realize now however that this doesn’t come across in the lyrics or the video. My talented director and animator buddy, Jarett Sitter provided some indispensable feedback with just one constructive comment, “I wish he had a ridiculous over-the-top tongue in the last scene.” As soon as he said it I knew I dun goofed.

One of my screenwriting profs said the ending has to be worth the price of admission. (paraphrased, he actually said the ending has to be the best part of the story to make it worth it. i.e. shit ending = shit story). Rewatching my own work is tough but it’s the best way to learn, and when I watch this I realize there’s no click at the end, no spice that holds the rest of it together. Adding in something over-the-top like that would’ve made it a lot more effective as a whole and would’ve fit with the style of the video no problem. So the lesson here, no matter how silly your project you set out to make, consult with friends and revise the script a few times before setting it in stone, you’ll get a better product at the end.

4. GRIT

GRIT is a non-prof that educates kindergarten-age children with disabilities. They requested a slideshow be created so it could be played at their annual gala. Me not settling for just an average slideshow decided to give it a little flair.

Challenges were the flair. I used a fairly common plugin for After Effects (AE) called SureTarget, and needless to say I ran into some problems. I love Video Copilot. They’re a fantastic resource and their plugins are great. So I’m not going to complain about a free, 7 year old plugin. But I will tell you of my tribulations. I’ve used the plugin with success a few times before, but it was used on older versions of AE. It was also used with fewer pictures. This video required about 80 photos/clips to be used, which was also another challenge to try and fit that within the allotted time. I believe the combination of debatable-compatibility with the newer version of AE and the sheer amount of assets proved a nightmare. I don’t even want to look back at how many hours I spent trying to fix the weirdest issues both in animating and rendering. It was too many for what should’ve been a relatively straightforward project.

What I learned: Sometimes you just learn in the middle of production that something just doesn’t work. Due to my stubbornness I refused to demote the slideshow to a generic (worse) program to deliver something. I problem solved and problem solved to find a solution that worked. However, I have put the plugin to rest for good now. It was a good sendoff as I was tired of using it anyway.

5. Phantasmagoria

I got the chance to work with Tia Halliday, a local artist, in capturing video of her project, Phantasmagoria. The idea behind it was to explore the relationship of the body to sculpture and painting. The scope of the project was impressive: using dancers from Alberta Ballet to contort their bodies and hold positions inside fabric sacks to be photographed digitally and with a medium format film camera, both in studio and on location outside.

Challenges were I haven’t done much in the way of abstract video or at least capturing abstract art. So getting myself well-versed and acquainted with the project was the first step. The rest fell into place in the weeks leading up and on the day.

What I learned: this was a combination of behind the scenes videography and capturing the imagery first-hand so it was good experience being able to shoot both.

6. Cancer Crusher Flash Mob

This was a short social-media-focused piece. It was relatively straightforward, and fun since I didn’t know exactly what to expect until it was happening.

Challenges the lens I used is not my favourite but it’s versatile for fast-paced shoots like this, it’s just a pain in the ass to pull focus on, and my hope is to invest in a better zoom eventually. During this shoot I felt like a hummingbird with all the people and action going on, that for a couple shots I cursed at myself in the edit because I didn’t hold frame long enough and missed context because of it.

What I learned: For fast fly-by-seat-of-pants shoots, just need to remember to breathe a beat or two longer on shots.

7. Cancer Crusher 2016 Main Event Recap

This was the main event for Cancer Crusher where you could win prizes, eat, drink, listen to music, and smash fruit! This was a blast to shoot and I had a great time putting it together.

Challenges were not much different from other event videography gigs. Smaller venues can be a little more challenging to get the shot but there was time to get everything I felt I needed to. As always music is a challenge to find. I think I found something that captured the fun spirit with it hopefully not being too stock music-y.

What I learned: it’s always great to stretch the videography muscles so just getting more experience is always welcome.

8. Sally Shapiro - If You Ever Wanna Change Your Mind

Directed by the aforementioned Jarett Sitter, this music video was fun and a very rewarding challenge to work on. It combined 3D assets - both still and animated, and 2D illustration and animation. My job was editing the video and combining those two sources to make them come alive.

Challenges were obvious. It was a fairly large-scale project in terms of scope (3D animation combined with illustration) and size (it’s a long song). 3D animation is a very time intensive process on the back-end especially, so if there are any changes, you have to prepare for hours (days) of rendering time. Due to the size of the project, the 3D guru, Evan, Jarett and I had to work simultaneously (picture us sprinting across a canyon, where one person is laying down slats and the other two are tying rope, trying to build the bridge as we go). So while consultations were frequent, the nature of it was generally only the big picture could really get nailed down. Figuring out an efficient workflow was key to the success of this project.

What I learned: I love compositing so getting a chance to get some more experience doing it was great. It was very rewarding coming up with solutions to the challenges some parts offered.

9, 10, 11, 12, 13. Lost Twentysomething Series

Last year I finished shooting five shorts that have been an absolutely labour of love. These have consumed my headspace for the past year, but it has been such an invaluable experience both personally and educationally. I’m pumped to see them coming together. Braden Paes along with my friends and family have helped me immensely in getting them produced. There have been challenges and tons of learning opportunities and in the coming weeks/months I’ll post more about them. In the meantime, I am steadily chipping away at them in post, hoping to have something to show in the early summer.

BONUS 14, 15, 16. Escape, Trillium, and Shasta Keychains

My dad’s little business, Camping Treasures is growing in inventory every month! The past year he needed me to draw out the dieline for three different trailers, the Escape, Trillium, and Shasta, so they could be made into 2-sided keychains.The designs have even been shrunk for wine glass charms and earrings. Take a look!

Conclusion

I haven’t written something this long since graduating university, but aside from shaking the rust off, my motivation for writing these is mainly self-serving. Overall I think I’m a patient guy but I often catch myself feeling like I’m in a rush, that I’m not progressing as much or as fast as I’d like, so I like looking back to reassure myself that I have been staying on track, learning, and applying what I’ve learned previously.

If you managed to get through it all, I sincerely hope that it maybe helped you do that thing you want to do or allowed you time to reflect on your own progress over the past year. What are you proud of? What challenges have you overcome and what have you learned from those challenges? Post in the comments or keep them in mind as you crush 2017!

I have started a new career this year which leaves me with less free time (except for right now), so instead of looking at quantity of projects finished, I’m going to be celebrating and looking at the smaller victories over the year.