#ehehehehehe AU go brr

[shadeswift99]

Team ZIT Ghostbusters AU!

Discord ideas. Of course they’re discord ideas. (paraphrased from a Discord discussion)

-  Zedaph is the one who started the ghostbusting crew. Impulse is the one who went along with it because his normal job is boring and he's had haunt-y experiences before that he wants to confirm were real. Tango is the guy who didn't believe at all but they dragged him along because he's the only one with a car

- Tango keeps somehow missing any and all real ghost encounters (”Come on man, you HAD to have seen that!” “I was in the bathroom!”)

- The few ghost encounters he actually has. he still manages to excuse as something else for a really long time (”Jerk in a costume” “Weather balloon” “Firework show gone wrong” “Hallucination” “Water reflection”, etc.)

- He eventually has to admit that ghosts are real, but he keeps up the bit with the others because he thinks it’s funny

- the others start to wonder why he’s so dedicated to convincing them that ghosts aren’t real in spite of their very real encounters. They start to wonder if Tango himself is a ghost

- He is not. Hilarity ensues

- Zed and Impulse start setting ghost traps around the office, but the ever-oblivious Tango keeps accidentally avoiding them. Zed and Impulse then activate them themselves while looking for flaws in the design.

-  About two thirds of their calls are just old people who are freaked out and kinda lonely, they're good at reassuring them and "thoroughly checking" for any “ghosts” to put them at ease

-  Beetlejhost was one of these calls, it was supposed to be nothing! They were convinced it was nothing! And it was nothing, until Tango and Impulse went into the hall for their customary "check" and got insulted up and down by a nerd-looking guy in a striped suit.They like to think they let him come with them, but really, he just wouldn't leave. He is Weirdly resistant to all their ghostbusting measures

- Eventually they just stop trying to get rid of him

-  Zed and impulse eventually ask him if Tango is a ghost, he gives an incredibly cryptic answer that those two interpret as a yes

-  The eventual confrontation about Tango's theoretical ghost-ness starts out ridiculous, but gets more serious. Impulse and Zedaph start listing the reasons why they think he's a ghost - he's weirdly insistent that ghosts aren't real, he hasn't told them anything about his life, they never really see him arrive or leave from the office...eventually Tango kind of snaps and shouts at them that he's not a ghost! He just doesn't have many other places to go, okay? They don't bring it up again

-  However. There are a few weird things around the office that they cite as evidence that Tango can't explain. He didn't open that door that they always leave closed. He couldn't have boiled water in the kettle that's been broken for six months. He isn't the reason why their reflection in every mirror is wearing a different facial expression than they are.

- They would suspect the Beetlejhost, but the strangeness started long before he got there

-  They bought the office for cheap because nobody else would buy it. The story is that the landlord was murdered there a decade ago, and he still hasn't left the place, making sure all of the new tenants are treating it well and punishing them if they don't. The three didn't really put much stock in that. It's a myth, right? Urban legend. Happens all the time. Surely the ripped and slightly bloodied vest they found in the attic has a perfectly reasonable and natural explanation.

- Honestly, their resident ghost buddies (both known and unknown) are probably the only reason they haven’t been attacked by ghosts in their own office yet. As annoying as they can be, they make pretty good protection from incorporeal intruders.

- “Ghosts try to fuck with them and are met with a ripped dude and a nerd in a suit, both looking quite angry”

-  They only really realize that the Beetlejhost isn't the only ghostly officemate when large amounts of their post-mission pizza start disappearing

-  Impulse starts "accidentally" leaving things out just to see what happens to them. He leaves out a Rubix cube to see if it's solved by the morning. It isn't, but it has been thrown out the window.

-  Skizz has never had to learn how to physically appear before. He's never really wanted to. The living world kind of screwed him over, so he doesn't feel like he owes them anything other than ominously lurking just beyond the mortal plane. However, to these people, he kind of thinks he might want to make himself known. They seem...okay. Ish. Maybe. No promises.

- Maybe at first, he just talks (suddenly, in the middle of the night, in a way that just about gives Impulse a heart attack of course)

- Eventually, the Beetlejhost teaches him how to make himself visible. (Of course he knew Skizz was there the whole time)

-  He still mostly keeps to himself - not used to being friendly yet - but when he does choose to show up to team game night, an extra bit of company is always welcome. (plus it's someone to keep the Beetlejhost from cheating by phasing through the table and looking at the cards)

-  Beetlejhost comes with them on missions, but Skizz is more or less bound to the building

-  The Beetlejhost usually just sings and/or laughs at them, but he's gotten them out of a good few tight spots on occasion with Ghost Negotiations. After all, he doesn’t really want them to get hurt

-  As distant and mischievous as Skizz can be, really, he doesn't want them to get hurt either. They take good care of the building and they're the first real friends he's had in 15 years so why would he want them gone? So, he does his part to help them whenever he can

-  One time one of the more dangerous ghosts decided that possessing Impulse was a good idea. They subdued him and took him back to the office to figure out what to do with him, but they didn't have to. Skizz basically just yelled at the ghost until it left.

- Speaking of possessed, Tango has a strange talent for coming under the control of ghostly forces. Usually it’s pretty easy to get the ghost to leave, though, so it’s okay - and hey, at least it left him with some nifty red eyes!

- And yes, Tango does get possessed when he still thinks ghosts aren’t real. And no, that does not convince him.

- He has to wear sunglasses sometimes so they don’t get kicked out of places, but he usually just lets the eyes show and becomes the most badass person in the Walmart

- Zedaph and Tango try to ask Skizz how he died sometimes. It’s a bit of a touchy subject, but of course he chooses humour instead of just saying that. Zed and Tango continue to insist that “saw your mom’s face and died from shock and horror” isn’t a valid death explaination

- Skizz doesn’t want to talk about his death because he was killed by someone he trusted. A "friend" did something bad and wanted to use Skizz's place to hide from the cops, but Skizz didn't agree and didn't want that on his hands. He tried to convince the friend that if he turned himself in he would get a lighter sentence, but the friend killed him in anger. Notice how I said earlier that the crew are the first real friends he's had in 15 years, but he's only been dead for 10

-  Skizz isn't really interested in getting that person caught, he just wants to make sure nobody uses his place for bad stuff after he died. That’s his unfinished business.

-  Of course, the crew sometimes gets called in to take care of things that are not, in fact, ghosts, to varying results. One time a guy (whose name might have been Mumbo) called them in to ghost-vacuum his living roommate (who might be called Grian) who was just being annoying. They didn’t, of course, but only because Impulse said it would be wrong. Their other roommate (Iskall) gave them a tip and apologized for his idiot besties

- While they didn't vacuum Grian, Zed and Tango are still curious about what happens if they vacuum a living person

- Tango now has to figure out how to delicately and calmly phrase "Skizz please help oh god Zed's soul is stuck in the vacuum cleaner"

Please feel free to send me questions, I am enjoying this way more than I should be :)