#either with one of the token things
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madamscream · 2 years ago
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Man, I REALLY wish they'd give us like... a memory box. Where we could reread old events we've completed without the prizes. Maybe they could have it as like a photo app to keep with the phone theme. It drives me insane enough that there are cards I can never read the Devilgram of because they'll most likely never come back to obtain, but the fact that I can't reread things I unlocked until six months after, IF I give them a limited currency is genuinely the most frustrating thing about the Obey Me games to me.
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melit0n · 6 months ago
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There's just something about the changed melody he tends to do when they play Jaws live. The final "SHOW ME LOVE." always gives me such an uplifting feeling, too.
Credits: Pizza Nick -> yt
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lovely-v · 3 months ago
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Going to another emo-themed college party and I will let everyone know my feelings afterwards because so far I’ve gotten the vibe that most of these parties are thrown by people who weren’t actually ever emo. OR were emo but are too afraid to display their real depth of knowledge on the subject. Don’t get me wrong. They’re usually fun parties! We all like I Write Sins Not Tragedies. It’s an awesome song. Mr Brightside? I can always dance to that. But until I hear at least three songs from Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge I will be thoroughly unconvinced that I’m at an emo party
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katsdynam1ght · 5 months ago
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sorry but i’m convinced natsuo is the only straight person in the todoroki family. he’s only homophobic because of touya though. (he would be more homophobic if he knew about his dad but i don’t think enji even processes his own sexuality so none of them know)
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a-s-levynn · 9 months ago
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trick or treat! what are your opinions on candy corn, and do you agree that the Reese's Pumpkin is the superior shape for a reese's cup?
After careful consideration (and excessive testing) Tiny Vessel arrived at the conclusion that he does not have a true preference of shape other than one might be more appropriate for this time of the year. His only true qualm is, that both are way too big.
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red-dyed-sarumane · 3 months ago
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sometimes i mention keppi & im like fuck im going to look like one of those people who only cares about the male characters as if im not well known for loving women
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turbocao · 2 years ago
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Yo I've started Hunter x Hunter (idk why) and I'm actually enjoying it quite a lot? (also idk why)
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the-everqueen · 2 years ago
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very weird in any given setting to be known as "the gay one," because i'd really identify as queer but in non-queer spaces that mostly gets reduced to wlw, which in turn generates a whole host of assumptions around my (personal) preferences and politics and (un)desirability, which inevitably has overlaps with my ethnic identity, which may or may not go articulated, and all of these things snowball into "we're about to see if people are real cool about a lot of things real quick"
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adlibitur · 2 years ago
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sometimes i have to stop myself from retelling other peoples funny stories because they live so fondly in my own memory
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arolesbianism · 3 months ago
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Also there currently isn't any planned main character romance in the story with the toy guys (sort of) but I was thinking abt how I wanted to establish that Raiden is a men liker and I realized. There's no men. None of the relevant cast are men. The closest thing is a character who barely exists in the main plot who's also sort of dating their mom. Misandry is real guys and it's finally won
#rat rambles#oc posting#tbf I dont think theres many women either. the whole main party are some flavor of nonbinary. but there Are women#demonstrator is a woman! the godess lady is a women! and most of the nonbinary ppl? are sapphic. raiden has no options#and when I say most the ones who arent are aromantic so. tough luck buddy.#Id never put raiden in a relationship but I still think its funny that I basically can't without making up a new token man#point and laugh at raiden they get no bitches#now alas there is technically romance in this story its just mostly relegated to the side cast#among the main cast lace and demonstrator have their doomed toxic yuri thing going on but its more in a bitter exes way#well demonstrator is the bitter ex lace still likes demonstrator and wants her to kill him due to the guilt™ and also for fun#there's a couple other relationships (as in literally two) Im considering allowing as a one sided thing but Im hesitant#outside of that all the rest of the doomed toxic yuri is in the side character party they sure have stuff going on#theyre like if an entire polycule was a situationship and also half of them wanted to murder eachother#I Really need to get around to designing the last two that I havent drawn yet especially justa Ive been thinking abt her lately#shes the party's fighter and also the big boy itentity issues guy that Im contractually obligated to have in every story#shes like if a clone character wasnt technically a clone but also was but also wasnt
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melit0n · 2 years ago
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EUCLID ANALYSIS.
Told you guys it was coming, didn't I? I apologise that this has taken a bit longer than expected, my mental health hit me like a bullet train, but I do hope it's sufficient.
Part one -> You're already here!
Part two -> Line by line analysis part 1
Part three -> Line by line analysis part 2
Part four -> Musical/intrumental notes
Part five -> The Night in Sleep Token
Part six -> Conclusion
Please note this is a general analysis. Although I do go into theories, both my own and others, this is just general thoughts. Also note when I speak of Vessel, I mean Vessel as a character, not the person, unless I specifically state so.
Tagline: @rilllvri @a-s-levynn @fivewholeminutes @euclidsvessel @tonguetyd @moonchild-in-blue @kkarmatic @branches-in-a-flood
+ Some people were worried about spam liking/reblogging the last time I did one of these big analysis posts, and I want to say please don't worry about that! I get happy when I see the same users pop up liking and reblogging my work, because it means you're interested in this enough to go through the whole thing. Feel completely free to add your own thoughts, correct any errors I've made etc. As per usual, my DMs are completely open to anybody wanting to discuss ST <3
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Let's start off with the basics. ‘Euclid’ is the anglicised version of the Greek name Eukleídes (Εὐκλείδης), mainly known via the ancient Greek mathematician Euclid of Alexandria, who is seen as the ‘father of geometry’, and most famous for his work on symmetry. Its general definition is something or someone who is renowned and or glorious (A) and the lesser known definition is something that is a copy of the same (B) (taken from Euclid’s ideas on symmetry), which we’ll come back to in a bit.
However, there is another Euclid in history that we’ll be referencing; Euclid of Megara. This Euclid, similar to our mathematician, was an ancient Greek Socratic (having been a pupil of Socrates) philosopher. I’ll be taking part of a text out of his Wikipedia article since his ideas have been explained thoroughly there.
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(we'll be coming back to him soon)
First off, this is an incredibly interesting choice of name for a song. Outside of someone's maths and philosophy class, this name doesn't exist to most, so the fact it's been chosen at all is intriguing.
Vessel has shown time and time again he enjoys sometimes elaborate references in his art, an example being chemistry and biology in TPWBYT (most notable would probably be ‘Telomeres’), so, I think it would be easy to say that, whether it be a reference to Euclid the Mathematician or Euclid the philosopher, that said reference is understood and intended by Vessel.
So, let's start with our mathematician, shall we?
What I find interesting about Euclid of Alexandria is that his life and existence outside of his work on geometry is almost completely unknown. There's almost nothing known of him, as a person, other than where he spent half of his career (Alexandria; Egypt, hence his title), where he may have studied (Platonic academy) and a general idea of when he lived (around 300BC). What is known about this insanely famous man who created the foundations of symmetry is incredibly barebones. People take Euclid at face value for his work, just like Vessel (both as an artist, and a character).
Further, we, as listeners, don't have much of an understanding of who Vessel is other than being a mouthpiece of a deity known as Sleep, someone once human now grasping at the threads of humanity and someone sharing some of his struggles in life (both with Sleep and unknown people). Like Euclid, he is barebones, we take him at face value; a vessel. He is both a mouthpiece for Sleep, a mouthpiece for his own emotions (obviously) and a mouthpiece for us. His experiences transcend being just his, due to his anonymity, therefore allowing us to connect and express our own experiences. It's music for the sake of music; expression.
Now, having talked through Euclid as a person, it's time to talk about Euclid and his symmetry. Symmetry in shapes is 'reflections, rotations, translations, and combinations of these basic operations. Under an isometric transformation, a geometric object is said to be symmetric if, after transformation, the object is indistinguishable from the object before the transformation- a copy of the same’. So, of course, this means shapes like squares, rectangles, parallelograms and circles. Circles are a representation of infinity, wholeness, unity and loops. What does Euclid do? Loop itself (starts and ends with B major, which also happens to be the same chord that TNDNBTG starts with), and loops the three albums together, musically and lyrically.
Now, onto Euclid of Megara.
Euclid was born in Megara, Athens and was a follower of Socrates (sneaking into Athens to hear him speak, and he was also present during his death). He is most known for his philosophy that good is the knowledge of simply being and that the opposite of good does not exist, aka evil. The Good is described to be a perfect, eternal, and changeless Form, existing outside space and time. A form of Heaven without a God.
This idea could be linked lore-wise with Sleep Token; Sleep could, in a way, be The Good literally. Bliss. Further, with the idea that there is no actual opposite of good, then how can anything be bad? How can Sleep, as a deity, have bad intentions if there is no actual evil?
So far, with these two notable figures in mind, we can perceive Euclid as one of two ways (and there are more ways to come). Euclid can be seen as quite literally being a form of symmetry; a parallel that Vessel lays his life on because it brings all of the produced albums, all of his stories, together. Or, we can think of Euclid as Vessel. This brings me to @euclidsvessel's post on their theory on Euclid; what if Euclid was Vessel’s name before he became a vessel?
The theory that Euclid could be Vessel’s old name is not only extremely insightful, but very plausible as well. They explained their points very well in their original post, and I don't want to repeat what they’ve already said, so I do implore you to go read that! It's not detrimental to needing to understand this post, but I highly recommend it. Despite this, I am here to both support their argument and bring my own comparison. Take a look at the cover art for Euclid:
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Let me repeat the lesser-known definition of Euclid; a copy of the same. A clone. A replacement. Held in the right hand is the decapitated head of Vessel's old (2nd gen.) mask. Specifically, the one that covers his mouth; the version that relinquishes the most amount of humanity. The album art is a representation of change portrayed in a symbolically gory way. Beheading, depending on the era you’re working from, symbolises both vengeance as well as a form of purification. By cutting off the head, you remove any ‘unholy’ thoughts. It's also among one of the most horrific and humiliating ways of killing someone (since it was typically done publicly, and sometimes the heads were placed on spikes of battlements as a warning).
Furthermore, there's a theory that's popped up a couple of times, lore-wise, that Vessel is not the first person to be turned into a vessel of Sleep, and he certainly won't be the last. So, considering the literal album art illustrates a replacement of Vessel, I’d say that theory is pretty much confirmed. In conclusion, the album art can either be interpreted as how Vessel will eventually be discarded and replaced by another vessel, or how Vessel himself will change, for better or for worse; clawing out of his own skin to become “someone new”.
So, to compare the idea of Euclid being Vessel’s old name, and to create the third perception of what or rather, who, Euclid is, what if Euclid will be the eventual replacement for Vessel?
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moons-among-distant-stars · 3 months ago
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a fucker did!
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that's the guy i made for this! you get to do literally like nothing else at LL6 other than double super snicker-snack but it does it really well! if you mix in some of C-GWs lineman talent (+3 reliable to main ranged when adjacent) with house guard (to get adjacent range 2) + NucCav for bonus in danger zone (which 2 vorpals with overkill..) then as long as you got an ally in range 2 while in the danger zone you can deal a minimum of 7+2d6 for one shot w/ +1 accuracy, and then another minimum 7 with your next! and none of it can be reduced in any way!! who needs an omni-gun
also bonded 2 for intercede which pairs nicely with shield of the legion if you wanna tank some damage! and empath just for extra support!
so with 23HP, 10 heat cap, 2 damn good creepy vorpal guns and some talents you got quite a fun gorgon that likes to stay grouped up with allies on the frontlines for some serious pain! really fun idea!!
build below the cut (probably not the best but i had fun)
-- HORUS Gorgon @ LL6 -- [ LICENSES ] HORUS Gorgon 3, HA Saladin 3 [ CORE BONUSES ] Auto-Stabilizing Hardpoints, Overpower Caliber [ TALENTS ] House Guard 3, Nuclear Cavalier 2, Bonded 2, Lineman 1, Empath 1 [ STATS ] HULL:3 AGI:0 SYS:0 ENGI:5 STRUCTURE:4 HP:23 ARMOR:0 STRESS:4 HEATCAP:10 REPAIR:6 TECH ATK:+1 LIMITED:+1 SPD:4 EVA:8 EDEF:12 SENSE:8 SAVE:15 [ WEAPONS ] FLEX MOUNT: Vorpal Gun (Paracausal Mod) // Auto-Stabilizing Hardpoints, Overpower Caliber MAIN MOUNT: Vorpal Gun (Paracausal Mod) MAIN MOUNT: Nexus (Light) [ SYSTEMS ] Personalizations
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beloveds-embrace · 8 days ago
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(this was inspired by the amazing @rawme-price ‘s royal!141 x war prize!reader!! Give him lots of love his works are absolutely incredible and so good 😩😩)
You were a prize of war, draped not in glory but in silence.
The day you were taken, the sun bore down mercilessly over your city’s broken gates, golden rays glinting off the broken helms and blood-slicked stone. The standards of your house- a serpent coiled around a silver chalice- burned upon every rampart. They’d taken everything: your home, your siblings, your legacy. All that remained of your royal lineage was a fine silk collar looped around your throat, a mark of your new station: property.
Not quite a prisoner, and not quite a guest.
They had taken you not for vengeance, though, but for ornamentation:
You were not dragged before the court in chains, nor paraded through the capital square as spoils. No. You were wrapped in silks and shadow, ferried through the marbled halls of the foreign palace like a prized sculpture- set atop a pedestal to be admired, pitied, perhaps touched, but never truly regarded. A concubine, they called you. A gift for the conquering King, a diplomatic token meant to warm his sheets and soothe his ego. But you were not soft like a prize. You were steel beneath velvet, and no man- especially not him- had thought to test your edge.
When you arrived at the palace gates, escorted by a pair of silver-clad guards, you expected confinement. Chains and surveillance. You expected to be summoned and summoned again, demanded of until you broke. But instead… they left you mostly alone.
There were rooms prepared for you- lavish chambers perfumed with foreign incense, mirrors taller than doors, baths warm with honeyed water- but no one came. No handmaidens lingered long. No courtiers whispered seductions or threats. You were given a name in the servants’ registry and little else.
Perhaps it was arrogance. That you, a silken shadow of a fallen house, posed no real threat. Or perhaps it was that none of them could see you clearly- not through the cloud of war, not through their own entanglements.
You were not their type, you quickly realized. Too quiet to entertain, and too proud to beg. And far too observant for the comfort of men who ruled through secrets and shadows.
Your presence made them uneasy, but not enough to stop them.
So they left you in peace, and like ivy in a forgotten garden wall, you grew wherever the stone gave way.
They were always busy with one another anyway.
King Price was a broad-shouldered monarch with a voice like flint striking steel, a man of battlefield charisma, not courtly grace. He ruled from a sun-drenched throne room hung with deep maroon banners and a mosaic floor of golden lions and azure wolves. On either side of him were his closest men- men you quickly learned were far more than advisors, more than knights, more than lovers of the realm.
They were each other’s.
Ghost, because you weren’t given any other name to call him by, was a thing carved from smoke and steel. He haunted the corridors in silver-threaded armor and scary bone-pale cloaks, his face masked and unreadable, his eyes like bottomless ink. He spoke rarely and only when necessary, deep and deliberate, every word a spear. You often saw him standing unmoving beneath the porticoes or looming behind the King like a silent omen. He noticed everything. You learned quickly to avoid meeting his eyes unless you wished to be studied like prey.
Soap, in contrast, was fire given form. He laughed like thunder over water, all teeth and mirth, his kilted form easy in every room. He danced through politics like he did through swordplay: reckless, sharp, and victorious. The nobles loved him, the servants adored him, and yet even his joy was a blade. You watched him, this flame-tongued warrior, wield charm and chaos as weapons. He made you uneasy, but not for the reasons one would expect. It was his brilliance you feared, not his touch.
Gaz was quieter than both, but you knew never less dangerous. His gaze flicked too quickly to be read, his thoughts fast-moving beneath the surface. He communicated in nods, in looks, in the press of his mouth and the sharpness of his shoulders. You caught him watching sometimes, not in lust but in curiosity- as though trying to read a passage he hadn’t expected in the book of war. He often lingered in the libraries. Sometimes, you found his annotations beside your own. The unspoken dialogue began there, but you didn’t dare consider yourselves allies, much less friends.
They were rulers in all but name, lovers in all but confession, bound to each other in something deeper than oaths. You were irrelevant to them then. But time- time would change that as patiently as water eroded the cliffs.
They moved around each other with the familiarity of shared campaigns, shared wounds, shared beds. It was no secret. Not even whispered. The palace knew. The court knew. You knew, from the very first night you arrived and wandered too far in silk slippers, only to hear the unmistakable sounds of pleasure echoing behind a half-opened door. It certainly wasn’t your name they moaned, and it wasn’t your skin they touched.
You were a relic, a prize kept on a shelf, unbothered, unwanted.
Which suited you just fine, because they let you roam- perhaps assuming your silence meant submission.
You slipped through their world like a ghost, always in the background, always silent. You learned the layout of the palace quickly, and found the best corridors for avoiding the guards, the quietest corners of the library, the sunniest courtyard to sit in when the day was soft and the wind carried the perfume of the citrus groves.
But silence, in truth, is the perfect vantage for listening.
And listen you did.
You sat in on council meetings when no one noticed your presence, tucked behind pillars and veiled behind sheer drapes. You learned of failing grain routes, corrupted tax collectors, nobles whose coffers jingled with coin minted in enemy nations. You listened to a young Lord boast of “diversifying” with investments in your fallen house’s overseas mines. You heard a noble Lady laugh about how many of her letters made it past the border through “trusted hawks.” Trusted hawks who worked for other kingdoms. Corruption ran smoother than the wine they indulged in.
And King Price… didn’t know.
The thought struck you odd and cold: he fought wars to protect this realm and yet knew nothing of the rot within it. A man can’t guard against betrayal if he doesn’t even know it’s in the room.
You said nothing until you couldn’t hold it in any longer.
One night, you stepped into his war chamber, where torchlight spilled across parchment seas and carved lions guarded the windows. He stood at the map table, sleeves rolled to elbows, neck glistening with sweat. His crown was absent, but the weight of it was still there in his posture.
“Your Majesty.” You said, and your voice was a clean knife through the stillness.
He looked up sharply, surprised not by your presence but by your tone.
You stepped forward, and for the first time since your capture, you let your tongue free and told him everything, the long accumulation of knowledge and fury curling like embers in your gut, too dangerous to burn, too volatile to ignore. Until at last the words clawed their way from you like smoke from a smothered fire.
And you told him. Every name; every treason. You recited them with the cold precision of an executioner: the barons laundering coin through offshore holdings once controlled by your House; the grain merchants funneling stock to rival kingdoms; the bastard son of a northern lord who posed as a loyal knight while his letters begged asylum across the border.
You spoke of ciphered routes your mother had crafted, letters tucked into false bookbindings, the bribery systems perfected over decades. You told him things he did not know- not because he was ignorant, but because his court had made him blind.
He said nothing. But the others began to arrive.
Ghost materialized from the shadowed alcove like a summoned revenant. He did not speak, only watched, his body tense with awareness, and Soap strode in halfway through, still armed, a cloak flung carelessly behind him. He leaned against the stone hearth but didn’t interrupt. Gaz entered last, quietly standing neside Ghost, hands behind his back, listening intently.
You stood before the four pillars of the kingdom- untouched, unclaimed, and now undeniably seen. You poured poison like wine, and they drank every drop.
By the end, Price’s knuckles were white on the edge of the map and his voice was more gravel than human:
“Why tell me this now?”
You looked at him, all the tired regality of your bloodline pressed into your spine. “Because my family is dead. And they don’t deserve their secrets kept.”
From that night forward, you were no longer just a prize.
You became something else: not a concubine, not a captive, but a whisper in the King’s ear; a blade turned inward; the rot-teller; the court’s living reminder that shadows bloom even in marble gardens. A walking threat to anyone in the court who thought their sins were buried too deep to be dug out.
They didn’t name you as such, of course. They couldn’t- not in court, not in record. But your presence at meetings became expected. When the King entered the council chamber, you followed. When reports arrived from the border, he read them aloud for your eyes. When suspects were named, your opinion was the blade that tipped justice’s hand.
And suddenly, the court began to fear you.
They whispered that you were a sorceress whom had enchanted their King. That the bloodline of your House had carried poisons in its tongue. That you bewitched the lions of the realm. That perhaps, perhaps, the fall of your kingdom was not the end of your reign- but only its metamorphosis.
Your new home stood higher than the falconers’ roosts, wreathed in mist and paper flowers (bougainvillea). Its terrace overlooked the rose gardens, where nobles strolled with masks of silk and secrets, and the sparring fields where sweat and metal still ruled over perfume and lies. You were given robes of maroon and pearl, the kingdom’s colors, though no sigil adorned your breast. You bore no crest. You were still, technically, a concubine. But no one dared call you so now.
The collar was gone, too.
And thus, they… began to look:
John’s eyes lingered, not in lust, but in something slower, a tension made of weight and wonder and want. Simon began appearing more often in your path, his silences thicker but more comfortable, his proximity intentional. Johnny’s flirtations sharpened, no longer jokes but invitations- his fingers brushing yours beneath council tables, his laugh darker, hungrier. Kyle spoke to you so often in the garden, bringing citrus fruits, asking about old customs, foreign songs, little things- anything to draw more of you into the light, into his lap and arms.
They looked at you like men who had conquered nations and found, at last, something unconquered; something they no longer wished to ignore. They watched you the way lions watch a lamb- strange, sharp, other, but so greedy to sink their maw into.
And slowly, the dynamic shifted.
Their devotion to one another remained- unyielding, unspoken, forged in blood and loyalty. But you had become something they could not and did not want to ignore. Your insight was a blade none of them had ever wielded, your presence a quiet gravity that drew their eyes before their thoughts could catch up. You were intelligence made tangible, sharp where others dulled, and though they had not touched you, they had long since ceased to overlook you.
So the harem grew, though it remained unspoken of. You were not meant to be their equal, and yet you still became it not through seduction, but through strategy and dominion.
And when at last one of them reached for you with quiet, reverent hands, it was not out of pity. it was worship. Lust so hot it bordered on sinfulness, for you were not their first love but you became their favorite sin.
In the court of lions, you had been a lamb.
But lambs, too, can learn to bare their teeth. That is what you think as you feel hot, heady kisses pressed against your nape, your naval, the small of your back and between your thighs, a crown tilting dangerously on your head until hands fix it back in place.
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caamboys · 6 months ago
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FUTURE SPOUSE PAC
the dynamic between you both
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long time no see guys <333
love reading for 2025 ! 🦪 I pray the reading resonates for anyone who engages.
( unedited )
this is focused solely on your personalities / energy within your relationship, not outside or in general.
PILE ONE
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core energy within the dynamic : first love, situationship turned relationship, love coming when you least expect it
Reader within the relationship dynamic
channeled song- “ pretty girls walk this “
“ foreign, private, designer, stylist “
“ I’ll throw a tantrum, now a b*tch’ll get childish “
You’re turning over a new leaf within this relationship, embracing change. You could’ve been single for a while or this is your first relationship, either way you’re inexperienced. You’ll be exploring this relationship and all the aspects of it, embracing the new physical and emotional connection. You move quickly within this dynamic, a very spontaneous energy. You might have a key to their house and pop up randomly on them. You might want to move in quickly.
I see despite you being inexperienced you’re navigating dating them freely and bravely. They make you feel confident enough to date them without being plagued by feelings of paranoia or caution. You’re going into everything headfirst within this dynamic.
Future spouse within the relationship dyanamic
channeled song - “ poison “
“ I’m not above love to cash in “
“ Anyway you want me baby, that’s the way you got me baby, I’ll be yours “
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This will sound cliche but they’ll be the ideal romantic partner. This is a lover boy / lover girl, a simp if you will. I think prior to your guys' connection they struggled with cold and detached partners, people who never could truly handle their emotional depth and yearning. This will dampen their spirit towards love in general until they meet you. The nonchalant facade will fade, and you renew their passion for love. Your genuineness towards dating and even the naivety you have towards love is shocking to them. You’re a breath of fresh air because you have nothing but good intentions, no ulterior motives in dating. Their ability to give to you is like a bottomless pit. They feel useless if you don’t ask them for anything. Want your hair or nails done? They got it. Want to go somewhere? They’ll take you. Don’t have something you need? They’ll handle it. This is definitely Mr/Mrs. Make it Happen. Gift giving is their ultimate love language to you. It’s funny because they’ll surprise you with something you didn’t even know you wanted. This person will be in a constant internal battle on whether or not they’re doing too much. Some of them want to show you the true depths of their love and just how deeply they can love you but another part of them doesn’t want to scare you off with their intensity. Their solution to this internal struggle would be “ gift giving “, a token of their affection for you that isn’t necessarily showing it in verbal / emotional way and making them feel vulnerable.
Another thing I channeled is the way they gaze at you. Even their stare has another level of intensity and yearning.
PILE TWO
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core energies: expansion, extending the lineage, exploration
Reader within the relationship dynamic
( tw : mention of childhood trauma & abuse )
( promise it’s not a sad read just a small section addressed it )
channeled song- “ I wanna be your girlfriend “
“ I don’t wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips “
“ I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath”
Pile two you’re never paying for anything in this relationship. It’s giving, show up and look cute and you’ve fulfilled your payment. You don’t pay attention to anything when you’re with this person in public, you’re in your own little world, content and protected. I see you in a very youthful and reckless energy within the dynamic. You may be in college/school right now and living with either roommates or parents during the initial stages of this relationship. This relationship will address and heal a lot of childhood trauma. The main thing I channeled was parental wounds. Perhaps one or both of your parents may have been emotionally absent or abusive, or something happened with a trusted guardian or teacher that formed some sort of trauma at a young age. The one thing I’m getting from this is you’ve carried a lot of burdens that forced you to think / act a lot older than you were. You may have developed a hyper independence from this. This person is going to help you release control to someone else and allow them the opportunity to help you take care of yourself.
One thing about you in this dynamic I’m fond of is your standards. You know what you want, how you wish to be treated and you won’t hesitate to leave. You have very strong boundaries and this comes from a strong self worth. You will advocate for yourself within this relationship, you will voice any opinions you have regardless if they’re positive or negative. If your needs aren’t being met you have no problem communicating it. You’re not aiming to be a people pleaser within this relationship but instead your most authentic self.
Future spouse within the relationship dynamic
channeled song - “ Alone tonight “
“ I don’t wanna be alone tonight, can you keep me company? “
“ My names known worldwide, still need someone in my life “
They’re older than you or they have more life experience or knowledge than you. They will play many roles within your relationship including your partner, protector and teacher. This is a very intellectually charged person. They’re already established within their long term career or pursuing it. They’re the more disciplined and structured individuals in the relationship. When it comes to making plans, scheduling trips or dates they’ll handle it. Look up airport couple on TikTok and you’ll get a glance into your relationship, you’ll turn off your brain in public and they’ll be the vigilant and focused ones. Another scenario I’m channeling for you is them taking you camping. I can imagine them guiding you to build the tent, teaching you how to start and maintain a fire, etc..
They will be the clean freak within the relationship. If you’re more disheveled or messy they’ll be stern about it lol. They will move quickly within the relationship. To you, they plan spontaneous dates but for them, it was already calculated and thought of days ahead of them communicating it. This person has a strong paternal/maternal instinct and it reflects itself in the relationship. They know exactly how to read you emotionally, soothe you, or show up for you way you need. It also shows in their protectiveness. They want to have your location and know your work schedule. This person's protectiveness to you is also because you represent a legacy to them, a new lineage, the chance to build their own family.
The overall energy of this dynamic that I’m channeling is
“ I can do it myself “
“ I know; but I want to do it for you “
PILE THREE
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core energies: best-friends, lots of banter and bickering, US VS THE WORLD
Reader within the future relationship dynamic
( yall, I channeled these songs AFTER I did the reading and wrote everything down. CHANNELING THIS SONG WAS SO FUNNYYY TO ME 🤭🤭 the “playfighting “ I mentioned several times below was definitely confirmed lmaooo in no way am I condoning violence but im giggling )
channeled song - “ bust your kneecaps “
“ honey believe me, I have your heart on a platter”
“ they’ll bust your kneecaps, probably some other stuff too “
You try to overpower them. You’re constantly challenging them mentally or physically. You enjoy invoking a reaction from them, getting them super hype during debates or red in the face from play fighting. Prior to the relationship you didn’t like this person, they may have come across as egotistical or arrogant and it irritated you. The kind of person everyone likes and you’re just like “ yeeah okay whatever “. Somehow you two enter a partnership but I think you still have the energy of wanting to take them down a peg, not in a toxic way, moreso the way bestfriends bicker and check each other. That aside, you're very grounded within the relationship. You seem very down to earth, perhaps a humanist or an animal lover. You might have a cat lol. Your energy alone within the dynamic is a constant source of growth for you both. You balance out the love and tension well, dishing it out at the perfect moments. You get cuteness aggression with this person a lot, I think it’s the source for a lot of the banter between you both.
Future spouse within the relationship dynamic
channeled song - “ super shy “
“ I wanna go out with you, where you wanna go? “
“ You don’t even know my name do you? “
They are similar to you, but can be even more immature. They are childish and allow themselves to be free and youthful around you. Within the relationship they might be the reckless one, never scared to cause commotion or be a daredevil. They may have a lot of scars or get hurt easily from this lol. They’re super active, whether in sports or working out but they’ll want to include you in it. You might go on hikes or walks or nature trails with this person, be careful though because they’ll be the type to get you lost lol. They get off on the tension / debating within your relationship. Physical touch is their love language with you, and play fighting with them will be like the ultimate foreplay. They have a big family, friend group, or a lot of external energy around them. I say this because people are naturally drawn and charmed easily by your significant other. I think prior to the relationship you’ll be the one to see past all sweet and nice exterior and into their underlying mischievous side. They may seem like an angel in front of others but you can sense the deception within it, and in turn you don’t treat them like everyone else. This will catch their interest first about you, your seemingly detachment or dislike of them. They will pursue you and seek you out first because of your obvious dislike or disinterest in them and then realize how well you connect mentally.
Communication will flow naturally and honestly I'm getting a sort of telepathic bond between you both. Not literally, moreso you can read each other’s expressions and know what the other is thinking. They can look into your eyes and have an entire conversation with you. They’ll definitely encourage this “telepathic bond”, wanting you both to be in a bubble apart from everyone else.
They’ll honestly recognize you as themselves in another body, you two may think so similarly that you both see each other as extensions of the other if that makes sense. An example I’m channeling is
“ you’re the boy version of me”
“ no, you’re the girl version of me”
PILE FOUR
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core energy: breaking barriers and social norms, establishing wealth, breaking generational curses
Reader within the relationship dynamic
channeled song- “ take me to church “
“ knows everybody’s disapproval, I should’ve worshipped her sooner “
“ my lovers got humor, she’s the giggle of the funeral”
You’re in a very successful energy within this relationship. Career wise you are independent and very productive, I channeled booked and busy to be exact. You have very ambitious energy within the relationship towards finances and establishing wealth, part of this is through a stable and healthy partnership. In the past you’ve lowered yourself to meet others levels, within this relationship you stand securely within your power. You wish to combine finances and wealth and build a sustainable legacy for your future generations to come. That aside, you seem to be the more extroverted one in this Dynamic. Even if you’re introverted, people are very fond of you. This will irritate your future spouse because they feel like people are constantly “ orbiting“ around you. You may have a lot of friends or social connections, or just a well known person. You may have a large social media following. People might even think you’re out of your future spouse's league in terms of appearances or finances but you understand that shallow and superficial standards won’t secure a healthy and flourishing life. I’m not getting your future spouse is unattractive, but something about them compared to you is different. They could be nerdier than you, alternative, super spiritual, etc, goth. You may have to defend this person and explain to others you’re not dating this individual for social norms, instead you’re securing a healthy partnership. You will recognize just how well you collaborate and vibe together on an emotional, spiritual and intellectual level. You’re not dating them for them to be your trophy wife/husband, but moreso a soulmate connection that exceeds society's standards. This may also be a same sex connection you’re in.
Future spouse within the relationship dynamic
channeled song - “ money trees “
“ love one of you bucket headed h*es? no way “
“ money trees is the perfect place for shade “
They’re very fulfilled within your relationship. They daydream about starting a family with you. They feel like no one knows you better than them, and it’s something that makes them feel special especially compared to other people around you. In the beginning stages of your relationship I’m seeing your future spouse in a competitive energy with your friends or maybe even family about who is closer to you. This may cause strife within your dynamic, jealous of the attention you give to others and scared of the attention you receive, sometimes making them question whether or not they’re good enough for you. You will realize this very early on in the relationship, recognizing that they put you on a pedestal. Unlike with other people, it may particularly bother you when your future spouse does, you don’t want them to romanticize you like others. You will share with them all the repulsive sides, flaws and shortcomings you have and you will be reborn again in their eyes. This will only make this person love you that much more. “ seeing what no one else gets to see “ is what I’m channeling from them. Your vulnerability will soothe any feelings of abandonment. They will know how special they are to you after you’ve let them see past your surface level and into the depths of who you truly are. This will make them arrogant within your dynamic about their spot in your life, no longer insecure. A random example I channeled is someone offering you a certain snack / food and your future spouse answering for you and telling them “ no, they’re allergic to so and so”. They’re like a walking encyclopedia of you . They know everyone’s connection with you doesn’t nearly go as deep as theirs. They’re a bit obsessive over you, strong Scorpio energy here. You will have a very watchful and observant partner, even when you think they’re not watching, trust me they are. I think prior to this relationship they knew you and liked you, but you didn’t know this. They give me the energy of someone getting into a relationship with their crush. They have tunnel vision when it comes to you, I don’t think anyone could ever tempt your future spouse.
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specialgradefckr · 8 months ago
Text
Beat Your Heart to Death
tw: explicit content, extremely toxic dynamics. gojo/geto, gojo/reader, geto/reader, and yes, stsg/reader. female!reader. mutual pining, requited unrequited feelings, the yearning, good god, the YEARNING. relatively unwilling voyeurism. EXTREMELY manipulative dynamics – boundary pushing, gaslighting, etc.
satoru and suguru are completely fucking deranged. their brains are operating on a level where human consciousness and emotion just hits different. they say INSANE shit at the end of this fic. you have been warned.
Sequel: Heartline Gone Flat
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This must be what dying feels like.
You watch them, together. Leaning against one another, sleeping, vulnerable. Curled up in each other's embrace.
This must be what dying feels like. Seeing the man you love and the man you lust for, so painfully, peacefully, blissfully in love with each other.
If this is dying, you're surely going to hell for thinking something so awful about a feeling so beautiful.
It’s the sort of thing you think to yourself, bury deep – deep – inside the recesses of your mind. Dredging it out in the late hours of the night when you can’t sleep. Wallowing in your unrequited love, feeling sorry for yourself, while also comforting yourself with the thought that at least now you didn’t have to do anything.
You would never have to approach your longtime crush, Suguru Geto, and potentially ruin your friendship with him. It was something you’d struggled with for years, and after Gojo showed up – you didn’t have to struggle anymore. It was already lost.
And the insane twists your fantasies would play out for you, in those lonely nights in bed – you could be free of those, too. You could completely dismiss the insane idea of propositioning the man-whore menace of a human being who made your heart race, Satoru Gojo.
Satoru and Suguru loved each other, and it would be wrong to get in the way of that. At this point, even saying anything to either of them would be a trespass on your friendship, with both of them.
That was all there was to it. Nothing more to be done. You were mourning your feelings. Strangling your dreamy sighs at Suguru’s kind gestures, stomping the flutter in your chest when you caught Satoru smiling. Killing your heart and leaving it to rot, stepping around it like it’s not there.  
Unfortunately, you couldn’t escape the fact that all three of you lived together.
It doesn’t help that Satoru is just as prone to PDA with Suguru as he was with all his numerous hookups. More, even, because he doesn’t keep it to just his bedroom, doesn’t make the token efforts to stay quiet at night and shoo them out in the morning.
You do your best. Look away. Try to ignore how your heart jumps, twists, does all sorts of funny things at the sight of them kissing.
Satoru’s pretty white lashes flutter closed, Suguru’s warm gaze softens, cheeks flushed as Satoru’s hands jump up to cling to him. He cups Satoru’s face like it’s a treasure, tilting his head and leaning into the kiss like he can’t get enough of it –
You’re staring, fuck. You’re looking too closely. The scene burns itself into your eyes and you want to rip them out, never see it again. But you struggle to avert your gaze, greedy mind committing every detail to memory with a racing heart, dry mouth.
Thirsty, you’re so thirsty, in every sense of the word. They lean into each other, so in sync and so affectionate in a way that tugs on your every heart string. Fuck!
You start to just leave the room when it happens. You’d rather die than get caught staring, you’d rather go without water than thirst for droplets.
And you’d really, really, rather cut your fucking eyes out than face the feelings the sight awakens in you. Longing, yearning, how you want to tear them both off each other at once, how you want to see more, more, more, you want to touch, you want to taste –
God, fuck. You’re like one of those shitty girls who fetishizes male relationships. Aren’t you? You feel like this might be that. But you’re attracted to both of them individually, so it can’t be that, right? You’re not a creep, you’re just greedy. You leave the room when they kiss! You’re respecting their privacy!
They notice, though, is the thing. Not your staring (god you fucking hope they’ve never noticed the staring) but how you leave the room when they get affectionate with each other. It’s Suguru who pulls you aside to ask.
“…and listen, I know you’re not like that, I totally know, so does Satoru. It just… makes him feel a little weird, you know? He was raised by a traditional family, so they either think this is a phase, or call him disgusting to his face.”
Fuck your life. Actually fuck your ENTIRE life. “Of course not – I never – ”
“No no no, I know, I told you, he does too, it’s just – it’s a little disconcerting for him. But I can talk to him, make him understand. This is your house, too, you have the right not to see that sort of stuff.”
That just makes you feel a bit worse, actually. Satoru and Suguru shouldn’t have to hide away in their room whenever they want to kiss. It’s their own home.
“I’m sorry, Suguru, I – I don’t have any problem with you guys doing it around the house. I just…” You shift uncomfortably. “I’m not super comfortable with… PDA sort of stuff. It has nothing to do with you both being guys.”
Suguru nods, “No, I understand completely. Satoru will be disappointed, but you’re setting boundaries, and I respect that – ”
“It’s not that,” You say, “I – you can do whatever you like, really, I’ll just leave – ”
“No,” Suguru interrupts with a sigh, “That’s what’s bothering him. I think deep down he’s a little worried that you find it… disturbing.”
Your chest tightens with anxiety as you rush to reassure him, “Of course I don’t!”  
“No, I know, I know, we both do,” Suguru says in that warm, comforting voice of his, “It’s just how he feels – you know he can’t control that.”
And then your stupid mouth rushes ahead of you. Writes a check your heart can’t afford to cash.
“It’s fine! You don’t have to stop, I. Just… tell him I felt like I was intruding. I didn’t think he saw it as me being disgusted.”
And your heart will pay willingly, because Suguru gives you that smile. Warm and affectionate. The smile you’d fallen in love with.
“You’re not intruding at all. I’ll tell him you said so, it’ll be a great weight off his mind.”
So now the love of your life makes out with his boyfriend and you can’t even leave the room. Hahah. God. Maybe you should start thinking of a way to move out?
Problem: When Satoru moved in, he’d basically started paying all the bills. He didn’t have to worry about being cut off from the family money – even at his young age, he had his own financial success. Even if it started out with a few trust funds and an appointed position at one of his parent’s companies.
Every rent listing looked expensive when your current rate was “free”. And fuck, rent was expensive. You’d have to deal with other roommates, people you didn’t know (and love) as long as Suguru (and Satoru, at this point, you’d known him for years), and you’d be paying for the privilege.
You try, oh, do you ever try to get over it. Sexuality is fluid, after all, so it’s perfectly possible that Satoru and Suguru just ended up being gay. Being with either of them may never have been an option, except maybe as one of Satoru’s flings.
And wouldn’t that just suck? To have one night with Satoru only to watch him realize he’s gay and mutually in love with your longtime crush? Better to never sleep with him at all. You can’t miss something you’ve never had. And you wouldn’t want to be a fling anyways.
The thought stings more than it should, because deep down –
(You’d take it. You know you’d take it. That’s why you’re still here, really, under all the excuses. You’re fucking pathetic, pining for both of them. You’d take anything you could get.)
It doesn’t help that they get freer with their affections after your talk with Suguru. Looser. So unrestrained. You walk in on them fucking in the living room, having come back early from class, face burning up as you stand there stock still for a moment.
They don’t stop, or freak out, or cover themselves or anything. You see Suguru’s naked chest above the couch, Satoru’s hands pinned over the armrest of it, their bare legs and feet entwined and sticking over the other side of the couch. They’re both so fucking tall.
So beautiful. Satoru moans so pretty, and you hear Suguru purr, low and filthy, “Like that, you little whore?” and you feel yourself clenching all the way to your core.
You make a wild dash across the living room, staying on the other side of the couch so they can’t see you. Closing the door to your bedroom as quickly and quietly as you can, panting to yourself, feeling the heat rising on your face and the warm pulse between your legs.
(Pathetic, fucking pathetic. It’s like you’re actually some horny teenage boy with a crush on a pretty girl out of his league, rubbing one out every time you see her with her equally hot girlfriend.)
You’ve got to get ahold of yourself.
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Your routine has changed, with the both of them being together, so openly. There were little things you’d shared, now gone, lost to the unfathomable whirlpool that was their relationship.
Used to be you’d buy sweets on grocery trips to share with Satoru. It was an old habit of yours, and when he’d first moved in, he’d caught you with them. Reaching for some with a grin before you smacked him away.
The look he gave you, a slow smirk before he went all wide-eyed and pleading, staggering to his knees like a proper starving drama queen – god, he had to know how he’d made your heart flutter. He probably pulled that on so many people.
Still, he would eat the candies right out of your hand, lips just teasing on your fingertips, eyes lingering on you while he licked his lips. It made you feel weird, at first, but you eventually realized that Satoru was just a weird guy.
He’d yawn and stretch and if he caught you or Suguru watching he’d flash his whole chest, like a girl flashing her tits. He slept naked and left the bathroom door open when he was using it, and he’d often knock when on your bathroom when you were in there, even if he had his own.
He had about ten different game consoles and games for them, plus a huge collection of movies, which he likes to watch with the room completely dark. He sleeps with a nightlight on, and his social media picture is an ugly picture of him from high school with these weird round sunglasses.
Not at all what you expected from a pretty boy like him. But Satoru’s eccentric charm, and the unstoppable allure of his perfect face and body, it rewired your brain somehow. You feel like you’ve wanted him for as long as you’ve known him.
You try to find other people. But the problem with living with Satoru and Suguru is that no one is up to your standards. You’ll never meet anyone as handsome or beautiful as either of them, so why bother?
In your defense, Suguru is hard to fall out of love with.
It’s not uncommon to wake up to the sound of your favorite breakfast being cooked while Suguru hums away in the kitchen, his pretty hair all tied back. If you sneak in quietly enough you can catch a tender smile on his face, the smell of freshly ground and brewed coffee he makes for Satoru in some expensive machine.
If you are unlucky, he’ll catch you, and that smile will grow as soon as his eyes are on you and you’ll fall in love all over again. If you’re lucky, you can sneak back away, but Suguru will eventually come and wake you up with a knock so gentle you suspect he already knows you’re up.
He shares his hair care routine, and it leaves your hair shiny and lovely. But your hair isn’t exactly like his, so he must have adjusted it.
He offers to help you brush or style it, himself, and asks you if you wouldn’t mind repaying the favor. Like you wouldn’t kill or die for the honor of running your hands through his silken locks.
Suguru is the type of guy who remembers when you get your period and asks if you need anything for it. You magically find your favorite fruits in the fridge, cut up, dipped in chocolate or caramel or yoghurt, however you like them best.
He does your laundry without being asked because he says it’s easier, and cleans dishes before you can get to them.
Every birthday he throws you a party, bakes a cake and he’ll spend hours to perfect a meal from scratch to go along with it. He’s perfect at finding a thoughtful present – Satoru just gives you cash, or some expensive luxury purchase you find fashionable but would never buy for yourself (Suguru definitely went shopping with him).
You get why Satoru likes him. Satoru’s sort of a slob, always leaving clothes on the floor – walking around shirtless like he knows exactly what it does to anyone watching “Just providing a public service, babe~” – and Suguru is so perfectly domestic.
Almost motherly. Whenever you misplace something, the fastest way to find it is invariably to ask Suguru, if he doesn’t approach you first with a concerned smile after watching you look.
After enough times catching Suguru sternly chide him for not putting away his clothes, leaving wrappers on the table, forgetting to put his shoes away; you’re relatively sure Satoru’s called him mom or mommy at some point. Possibly during sex.
And god, you get it. Those gentle tones of “Is everything all right?”, and “I tweaked the recipe, how do you like it?” and “I’m just really happy you enjoyed it.”, it’s enough to make your heart ache.
How, exactly, are you supposed to fall out of love with Suguru Geto?
How are you supposed to leave, how are you supposed to want to, especially when you swear you hear him call himself Daddy, and you find your face getting hotter than it should be.
Whispering to Satoru how “I’ve got you, baby,” and “Let Daddy take care of you, mhhm?”
And god, the high-pitched whimpers Satoru makes in response. He’s a tall guy, mewling, melting beneath Suguru’s hands, his words, his cock – and you could so easily imagine yourself in his place –
How are you supposed to be platonic about this?
 How are you supposed to stop touching yourself when they’re practically putting on personalized porn shows for you?
It's after the third time that you start to think they're doing this on purpose.
Whatever’s between them is something you just couldn’t understand. You get that, you do.
The way they look into each other’s eyes – there’s no way Suguru has ever looked at you like that, no way Satoru would ever want you that badly.
It’s something magnetic that makes them slot together at all times, draws their gazes to one another, leaves no room for anyone else –
But you stumble on them… a lot.
Never mind making out on the couch. You turn into the laundry room to see Satoru backed against the washer machine, his cock so far Suguru’s throat you can see it bulge.
His face is flushed, eyes teary, one hand loosely in Suguru’s hair while he whimpers. Dark eyes gazing up at him, fierce, Adam’s apple bobbing and another noise escaping him.
Or Satoru’s sitting rather innocently in Suguru’s lap, at a certain angle, but the sounds he’s making are less than innocent. Vile, even. Suguru’s broad hand wrapped around Satoru’s cock, pumping up and down, Satoru’s body shifting as you can tell he’s grinding down against something below.
And sometimes it’s really just the noises. You’ve heard them so often now it feels like you can put expressions to every moan and grunt and whimper and whine. Satoru makes a certain sort of gasp and your imagination jumps to think of how deep Suguru must be inside him, how his pretty face must look, twisted in pleasure.
They come back sometimes, from parties, drunk together. Leaning on one another like they could never lean on you – you’re not tall, not built like either of them are. Cheeks flushed as they whisper words into one another’s ears, Satoru giggling, kissing his cheek, Suguru laughing and squeezing his waist as they stumble into their room.
Like they’re in their own little world that you could never intrude on. You just catch glimpses every now and then. They don’t even look at you, it’s like you’re not even there – their eyes are locked on one another.
But that isn’t the worst of it.
Satoru and Suguru start bringing other people in.
No - they start bringing other girls into it. Like it's a punishment for catching them, only, you're fairly certain they wanted to be caught.
Satoru’s never been shy when he had a girl over, about walking around shirtless – maybe it’s an exhibitionism thing. And you’re someone they know well, someone tolerant (pathetic) enough to not say anything.
Either that or they’re both just that good at pretending you aren’t there. But they talk to you, all the time. You eat meals together, have movie nights (if you ignore how Satoru will not-so-discreetly put his hand on the inside of Suguru’s thigh while you’re all sitting together), grocery shop together, smile and laugh and share things about your day.
It’s just that they’re also dating each other. And in love, so in love, it’s painfully obvious that there’s no room for anyone else between them. Which makes the girls they bring over turn your stomach even more.
Sure, they’re one night stands. But they don’t even try to keep it quiet. You hear unfamiliar, high-pitched moans and whimpers, a wet smacking sound that has to be Satoru overdramatically eating pussy.
You wonder what his face looks like. What his eyes look like. Is he staring up at her when she does it? Does she have a hand in the feather-down softness of his hair? Or maybe Suguru’s hand, shoving him forward, that sly smirk that creeps over his lips when you’ve seen his eyes grow dark with want.
Is she whimpering because she’s close? Do they tease her, edging her, enjoying the expressions on her face, the way her body trembles? When she begs, is it for them to stop, or keep going? Whose dick is it inside her? Satoru’s, Suguru’s? What does it feel like? Satoru’s stupid enough to do it without a condom but Suguru isn’t.
What are they doing when she cums? You hear Suguru groan (you know how his groans sound, you know how both of them sound), so he must be cumming too. What’s Satoru doing? He’s too needy to be left alone for long.
Is he watching while he jerks himself? Has Suguru forced him to sit back? Or maybe he’s down where the action is, right where Suguru’s cock is buried inside her, laving over her clit and his cock like the slut he is until they both cum all over his face.
Why can’t that be you? Why don’t they want you?
Your fists clench harder than they should.
One night you stumble onto them in the middle of the living room, all at it in plain view.
Satoru is in Suguru’s lap, tall enough to tower over him. Suguru’s hand wrapped around his throat, choking him, head tilted back in bliss as his lashes flutter. There’s a woman on her knees, between their spread legs, sucking Satoru off.
And you can tell, by the way Satoru shudders, how he’s loose like putty in Suguru’s arms, that Suguru’s dick is buried deep inside him.
Satoru and Suguru don’t even try to pretend it was an accident. Some fucking roommates they are.
Suguru will smile and blush when you ask him about it, apologizing in soothing, kind tones, offering to never bring another girl home again if it bothered you – you’ve been through the goddamn song and dance so many times already.
He has this way of just. Making you feel guilty for even asking in the first place. Like you were presumptuous to say anything at all, unless it was something he wanted to hear.
It’s turned you into this. So eager to please but desperate to keep them at arm’s length. Wanting, longing, and starving for it. Watching because you quite literally can’t do anything else, sights burned into your eyes. Unable to look away. Unable to keep watching.
You don't know what they want from you.
You don’t think you want to, anymore.
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Satoru and Suguru are getting impatient.
No, Suguru is getting impatient. Satoru is getting desperate. It was his idea to start going out and finding girls to bring back and fuck.
It wasn’t particularly difficult between the two of them. And promising, at first – after all, what was more likely to get you to snap than watching – hearing – the two of them give some other girl everything you’ve ever wanted on a silver platter?
But you just keep going. Gritting your teeth and bearing with it. Suguru spent a whole week dislodging your vibrator slightly from its charging port, slowly squeezing your lube bottle empty, doing everything he could to drive you to the brink.
Satoru’s starting to remark how much it’s a waste of time. He gets snippy when he’s needy, and lately, Suguru’s cock just isn’t enough for him. He has to go through your laundry, plant a camera in your bedroom on one of those few nights they stay out late enough to give you some private time.
Satoru makes him wear your clothes when Suguru fucks him, lets Suguru gag him with your panties when it’s the other way around.
They play dress-up together and watch you touch yourself at awkward angles with muddied sound quality. It’s not enough, not nearly enough.
Privately, Suguru is a little worried. Satoru’s getting weird – not that he hasn’t always been. But weirder.
He goes right into the bathroom after every time you use it. He’s always quick to reach your drinks for a “taste test” after you’ve had a sip. And Suguru knows for a fact Satoru isn’t using his own toothbrush at night.
He keeps talking about you. Looking at you. Whispering dirty suggestions in his ears, asking impatiently if you look like you’re going to snap.
Satoru is needy like that, demanding, and you’d always balanced him out while helping Suguru relax.
But there’s a distance now that wasn’t there before. The tension builds and builds, needs unmet for so long that desperation is clawing at both of them.
And that’s to say nothing of his own desires. Satoru, for all his faults, still has self-control.
Suguru passes your door every night and stops for a moment. He serves you dinner with a smile, domestic as he is, and thinks how easy it would be to slip something in there. To make sure you’d sleep through the night.
Would it even matter if you didn’t? You let him get away with so much. You love him, you must love him, don’t you? There’s no other reason you would put up with all of this. If he did slip, you’d forgive him, wouldn’t you? You’d drink up all his honeyed words with the same smile you always gave him.
But if he gave you such a convenient excuse, then he would always doubt. Whether you really loved him or if he just made it convenient to love him.
More importantly, you’re looking at them different. It was good, at first; your pretty eyes darting in a different direction, the way you try to hide your face, keep your words especially cool.
 They want you to TAKE what you want. Want you yelling and screaming and scratching them up like the hellcat they know you are, deep down.
“How long,” He whines between groans as Geto works between his legs, fingering him as he sucks his cock, “Is she gonna make us wait – fuck!”
Suguru pulls away with a pop. Saliva and precum dripping from his lips. Satoru pulls him in for a kiss, by the hair.
“You know she’s liked me a while,” Suguru murmurs, swallowing a moan or two as he works another finger into his hole. “She’s scared of pushing me away. And now that you’re my boyfriend, she probably wouldn’t want to break us up.”
“Fuck, but imagine if she did.” Satoru bucks into him, “She wants us, I know she does.”
He’s always so needy, like a puppy. Suguru likes it, but he can admit that he wants you, too. Misses the energy you’d provide. You’re not demanding like Satoru is. Too prideful. Satoru’s shameless. But you want, oh, do you ever want, and they both do know it.
Once he’s stretched Satoru out enough, he wastes no time shoving him onto his belly, burying himself in his hole from behind – “Fuck! Suguru!”
“On it right now,” He purrs, close to Satoru’s back, reaching lazily for his cock.
Satoru doesn’t like to cum too soon anyways. He likes to cum from getting fucked, to be edged into oblivion – or he likes going hard and fast and overstimulated to no end. Not much in between, unless he was the one in charge.
“Imagine it,” He pants like a dog beneath him. He’s pretty, so pretty, and the only thing Suguru could imagine that would be better is to see your face looking up at him from underneath Satoru, “Suguru!”
He grunts, thrusting his hips harder, “Imagining. What am I imagining?” God, Satoru’s a slut and a nuisance, but it’s always been worth it to indulge him.
“Her,” Satoru breathes after a particularly hard thrust, “Trying to break us up.”
Suguru grabs his hips for better leverage. Satoru dirty talks best when he’s getting fucked hard, after all.
“Fuck, imagine if she got me drunk or something, hngh, finally followed through on those fuck-me eyes she’s always giving me, ghhgh, fuck yes like that, and. Just fucked me in our room, waiting for you to walk in on us together.”
And he can see it, picture it so well.
A drunk night with the most beautiful man alive, because that’s what Satoru is; pretty even now, beneath him, all sweat and lean body trembling as he gets utterly railed.
You’ve always had the attraction, and Satoru couldn’t handle his liquor, and all the sudden, you’d slept together.
“Would you – ah, ahHhh, would you get mad, Suguru?” His voice is teasing now, even through the groans and utterances, “Would you cry~?”
“Ha!” He half-chokes out the laugh, because Satoru clenches around him and it’s hard not to cum right away. He’s going to leave bruises from how hard he’s holding those narrow, lovely hips.
“No," Suguru grinds out, "But I’m sure you both would. She’s the type, and you’re so fucking – gah, so fucking needy. What would you want me to do? Forgive you?”
His pace slows down, and he reaches to squeeze his cock in return, just for a taste.
“Nah – fuck! Yes, keep doing that, fuck.” Satoru bucks into his touch, always, always chasing after him, “She’s too fucking nice all the time. If she did it, it would be – hnng – like. A revenge thing. She should be fucking mad already, pissed off. She should make me cum inside her, say she’s pregnant. Make me dump you and marry her, so if she can’t have you, nobody can.”
Suguru barks out a laugh at the concept, and then a moan, choked off as he feels the heat shooting through him at the idea.
You’re too nice, like Satoru says, it’s a laughable concept, you acting like this –
But what had he seen in your eyes that day after you caught them both with that girl?
“Fuck, I swear I feel you twitching inside me – ”
“What would you do, then?” Suguru purrs hotly into his ear, “You want to win her heart while you’re married?”
“Well, we’d fuck all the time,” Satoru wheezes out a giggle, trembling as Suguru’s hand slides along his cock, “Fuck you – haaaahhh. But I’d be making nice with her, being a good husband, and then you could come and have an affair – ”
Fuck, fuck, that’s too much, “Close,” He grunts, driving himself deep and hard, chasing the edge, “Fuck, I could tell her I love her, blackmail her, even – threaten to tell you.”
A groan as Satoru gets closer, and Suguru continues, “I could fuck her, leave her coming home to you full of my cum – ”
“I’d eat it out of her,” Satoru laughs, near deranged as he jerks between fucking back into Suguru and rutting into his hand, “Jerk me off already – ah, fuck, what if you got her pregnant – ”
White-hot, like the idea of your face beneath him, both of them, accepting them with an open heart full of rage and bitterness and lust, Suguru cums.
He’s just aware enough to fist Satoru’s cock, sliding harshly along it until he hears the lovely whore beneath him gasping, twitching, spilling in his hand.
“Fuck, fuck, fuuuuuck,” Satoru whimpers. “Hnghh… god, just the idea of her coming home from the hospital with a black-haired baby.”
“Fuck you,” Suguru barks, because now he wants to cum inside you. He wants, so, so fucking bad to cum inside you.
But god, do you even want them?
You sit there, all day, looking away, running away. That’s not love, is it?
And he’s a romantic, at heart. Satoru is, too. They don’t want anything less than your whole heart. Your entire life, your mind, body, and soul, dedicated to them the way they are to each other. Mad with jealousy and rage and possession.
Satoru had left him with bruises, the day he found out Suguru was crushing on you. When Suguru told him, in no uncertain terms, that he’s been wanted you for over a decade now and he wasn’t leaving before he got you. Blue fury in his eyes, heart twisting in his chest.
He’d looked him in the eye, grin wild and wide. Staring down as he has him pinned. Suguru had raised his knee up between his legs to find his cock desperately hard and throbbing.
“I want to fuck her first,” had been his wicked demand. Pain and pleasure traded like currency in return for love, each of them furious at the other for wanting you. They reaped the cost of their love on each other, settled their scores deep in their souls.
Because even if Suguru had seen you first, could he really say he’d wanted you first? Did he really want to fuck you before Satoru moved in, before he saw you flustered from your attraction and playfully trading banter with Satoru?
Had he wanted Satoru because you wanted Satoru? Had Satoru wanted him because he could see that you did?
Lines cross and uncross between you and the two of them, too tangled to ever unravel.
Time to tighten the knot.
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chromatickita · 2 years ago
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Legend has it if you listen to this soundcheck on repeat it will clear your skin, water your crops, and cure your depression. I hope this heals all of you like it has healed me.
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