#esp since the last was... god was it relational database??

[aresmarked]

i do try to constantly ground myself in characters' voices to ensure it reads like them in my fics, however long or short the moment

that said if you are a friend you do have to tell me if i'm off the rails. i will have stared at the words too long probably.

[jeffxjustin]

whatever

its not new year yet but i got compelled to write this thing up. primarily bec im very unstable right now due to the frappe i drank around 10 [i dont really know how much caffeine content it has but whatever im palpitating rn]

this year taught me the other side of the world. or another side of the world. i got to see firsthand the things that i only hear. i got to do things i might have imagined. honestly im a pretty lax person. as much as i want to move around and learn new things [for real, im not joking], ive got this other side of getting contented with what i have. and that’s what i am before 2017. dont mistake me though, i still has that tendency of being contented with my current life. but that’s just boring and so my other self kicks in. i cant stand stale and boring things. /maybe thats why i got consistency probs with the things i do/

2017 abused my other self. this year.i learned how to be organized, how to deal with multiple fronts. i need to be mentally fine since i got four orgs, and three of them im handling. and honestly, im handling them in a bad shit manner. im the current KLYN head and i cant fully commit to it since im also an executive in two other orgs [yea this is where i say i envy a/mrie’s skills]. kinda doing fine with LAYB since we got ppl and we got money to run it, and i performed quite a bit fine with PLSS. i still underperformed though, as i need to manage my time with the other orgs while maintaining a fine academic performance. i joined CNS bec i know it’ll boost my knowledge. 

i failed to achieve at least an honor roll for the past two semesters. that’s bec last last sem i was too stressed to focus on acads while doing work. it was also my first time doing REAL org work. and so being new to the surroundings, i struggled. managed to ace some subjects, but that’s it. this second semester, the combined struggles of the four organizations made my acad time less and less. i knew in myself i can ace the subjects 107, 114 and SOSC4 but again, when i return home, i was too tired to read the required readings since im doing administrative work from organizations. [not to mention i became the educ head of ORCC. stressful but i really enjoyed that work for real]

im not ranting bec these things gave me stress. yes it was fucking stressful and im ready to throw the shit away but hey, gotta appreciate the things happened. if not for all of these, im still a shit of a person [ey, im still a shit guy 2000 but i kno i got better]. all of the other work seemed pretty easy as i steered my work and acads properly on the second half of the last sem. however im not contented. i need to perform better. i know i still need to be bette e ee e e r e r e r r r 

bloop

hey. what for. better for what. stfu. purposeless

shit, shut up.

okay. im fine haha im back. so yea, i need to be better. esp on the KLYN. former head mite be judging me rn for handling it badly we had no proper outputs when she left. [hi, im sorry babawi ako] so my task is to make KLYN better, and i got plans already. also, i need to be better with PLSS. although i got really great database, i still lack proper things. but ofc i had it already planned too. also with LAYB. i had planned everything WHICH I NEVER DID BEFORE 2017. cool shit 

and also, my crit thinking got revamped. winks- gonna thank my profs and closest circle for it.

so im gon thank everyone who helped me achieved whatever i am rn. still basic uncultured boi ppl know but i get to improve at least. actually the catalyst for this change is me liking a/mrie ahaha if not for her i wont join KLYN. if not for her constant nudgings on doing work ill never learn the administrative skills i have rn, although it was subpar vs hers. so hi thanks for everything ur the plot twist of my 2017 haha. ill always be grateful on ur help, even if u didnt intend it, maybe haha.

thanking my profs esp mayor, zaldy and yvan. these guys taught me well. if not for them, im still in the dirt of theory. 

thanking KLYN ppl and my tibak friennds. really understanding circle. great friends. 

thanking LAYB ppl. i knew i suck on poetry bt when i got commended on my poem for her bday, i knew i improved [although i still wonder if she liked that. well whatever au fait lang naman ata nagdala don] 

thanking my twin althea. we are twins bec we know each other so well plus we r both sagi virgo peeps and so we pretty much relate to almost everything /almost bec we dont have the same music taste, movie shit and ofc lovelife lol/. thanking u bec u taught me how to act on certain situations. u r always there when i say to myself ‘ey god im such a pussy im stupid when will i stop being a pussy’ or whatever. u contributed to my growth as a person.  

finally, thanking the Freehunters. plus mervin. these guys quenched my thirst for knowledge. this is my closest circle. we tried to make ourselves better. look at us now. look at me now. friends, di na ko bobo dahil sainyo haha. my crit skills vastly improved. our friendship had ups and downs and we tried to maintain our circle as possible. remember we aint perfect. i know were kinda broken as of now but we are still here. cheers, best of the best. 

sorry if im too slow to change but i kno im accomplishing things. and thats better than none. but that doesnt stop there. i want more e e eee e e   e   

bloop

want more for huh now i laugh 

shit shut up.