#even if it’s a tiny segment of the game and they converse like 3 times

[weskerfied]

Ada and Annette’s interaction is so underrated. I love them. They sound like two high school mean girls from rival friendship groups, or whatever the equivalent is in the resident evil universe.

[possessionisamyth]

Will you be buying a hypothetical Bayonetta 4 or have you given up on the series entirely?

I am so happy you asked me this because I was gearing up to write a Bayonetta post this morning to try and say what people haven't said already, so like.

Bayonetta 4 is only feasible as an upcoming sequel with Viola as the protagonist if they add a bunch of new and unique mechanics to how she fights.

The main thing about Bayonetta that made her a fun hack and slash game was her unique fighting style. She shoots guns from her hands, guns from her feet, swings swords from her hands, swords from her feet, torture attacks, umbran climax, demon summonings that were wrapped in hair so she could get more naked and was also a cool way to narratively function a demon leash. Viola has one demon summon of cheshire, a furry fairy form, and a sword. This is a downgrade.

Viola's fighting style feels like something I can easily find in any fighting game on any character, whereas Bayonetta's isn't. So, unless they add a bunch of cool shit for Viola to do, I don't think many fans will be running to Bayonetta 4 like they did Bayonetta 3 even with all the voice actor controversy.

It's also very obvious that Viola, though her design rocks hehe, was a forced hand move from Nintendo. Nintendo has built their image around being family friendly no matter how many non family friendly games they port to the Switch. However, acting as Bayonetta's publisher when Bayonetta herself is not family friendly, well, I feel like someone said they have to change things up. Whether or not this was more influenced by Devil May Cry 5's baton pass onto Nero I cannot say because I'm not into that series, and I've only enjoyed the 5th game. But going from sexy sexy Bayonetta (thank you women) who built popularity and mixed conversation with her image to hard rock punk style Viola with added scarf and nerdy glasses? Screams Nintendo forcing their hand.

I would've sooner placed Bayonetta in the hands of Capcom to try and avoid this, and I have a love/hate relationship with Capcom.

Now for my thoughts on Bayonetta 3 below the cut.

First, the game mechanics.

Everyone is saying the game mechanics were improved significantly, and I'm not arguing with this across the board. However, there were decisions I just didn't like after spending two games learning how to catch them. I don't like how the main boss health bars look. I liked the color bar going down to reveal a different color. It constantly refilling had me confused until I noticed the tiny as fuck diamonds at the bottom.

I didn't like the climax summons being a part of the boss fight. If I wanted to play a Godzilla game with slow hunkering movements, I'd pick up Godzilla. I would not pick up Bayonetta which is supposed to be very snappy fast in movement. I hate that they took away the hair leashes for the demons. This was just a personal design choice I didn't like. The introduction of new fighting styles via the other Bayonettas felt ham-fisted. I liked going to Rodin, buying a new weapon, and fucking around with it myself in the little practice area. I do not like having to watch someone else use it first. Why are you giving me tutorials for each weapon? Let me suffer the consequences of my stupidity. Put me in the mines, father. I'm strong.

Jeanne's segments should've been like the rest of the game where instead I get to do Metal Gear Solid levels of sneaking around. Period. The 2D platforming callback wasn't all that good.

Now for the story itself.

Look. The Bayonetta series has built their stories on spectacle. The bigger the better as they say, but Bayonetta 3 really proves that size doesn't matter, it's how you use it.

What made Bayonetta 1 and 2 so fun with their bad writing, and yes as someone who studies writing It Was Bad, was the spectacle of it. The fact that you as a player were also piecing together the real story at the same time as Bayonetta was good. Little Cereza in Bayonetta 1? No idea what the fuck was going on with that during the game until the end considering I was constantly fighting for my fucking life. Loki in Bayonetta 2? Oh hey, maybe he is evil and just lost all his memories-nope. Switcheroo. It's twins! Yes, they were color coded, but they do not show the forehead symbols on the prophet really. Bayonetta 3? You immediately know Viola is Bayonetta's daughter, and they dance around it the entire time like they didn't put a big stamp on her in the first cut scene.

Bayonetta 3 writing tries to distract you with new game mechanics as the spectacle like shaking baby keys in front of you instead of enamoring you with the wack job story leading into the biggest boss fights you can handle. In Bayonetta 1 and 2, I got to have a conversation with the main bosses. I got to interrupt their yammering with a gunshot. I got to be just as confused alongside Bayonetta when they repeated themselves. I got the banter. I got the smug responses and playful annoyance, and I got to hear angels evil laughter as they were dragged into hell. It felt poetic in a stupid way which made it camp.

In Bayonetta 3, I have to talk to only Singularity, and he's boring as shit. Bayonetta is also getting way too serious during these interactions as the game progresses, which is also boring as shit. They try to circumvent that by having Viola be so comedic to further show the baton is being passed, but I didn't like Viola. I liked Loki. I liked Cereza even though she literally couldn't do anything and escort missions are usually a bane in any video game. I understand why Viola is the way she is because of who her father is, but I just didn't like her as a character. This could be a result of her given little room to be fleshed out due to all the other Bayonettas in the story, but even her fighting segments weren't fun to me.

Now before I address the elephant in this tiny writing room when it comes to the ending of Bayonetta 3, I'm going to address Bayonetta 1 and 2.

When I started Bayonetta 1 and I saw Luka, I thought I knew exactly where the game would go. I saw the director was a man. I saw that Luka was the standard pervert comedic relief character you get in anime with the sexy woman as the lead. I saw what year the game dropped. I am used to disappointment. I was 100% sure in the first game they'd slap Luka and Bayonetta together, because shitty japanese writers love that dynamic for some ungodly reason. And I won't even say this bad writing trait strictly falls on the men. Looking at you Rumiko Takahashi for Inuyasha! Yeah, I never forgave Miroku/Sango, and I never will! So, I was absolutely blown away by Jeanne's role in Bayonetta 1.

Jeanne and Bayonetta have the dynamic in Bayonetta 1 that many fanfiction writers dream of getting published. Friends to enemies to friends to possible lovers? Check. Amnesia dynamic? Check. Brainwashing dynamic? Check. Time travel? Check. Sexually charged banter in every interaction? Check. Like for homo-eroticism, these two are hitting every button on the board, and I don't give this kind of credit freely. So, I absolutely understand why so many gay people resonated with that and latched onto Bayonetta.

They double this up in Bayonetta 2. I didn't like that they put Jeanne in the fridge, but having Bayonetta need her so badly that she is going to brave traveling through hell to get her back? Not metaphorically either! She's literally going into hell to get Jeanne's soul back? This is unprecedented levels of gay I could only hope to achieve getting published myself, and the only way to have made this better was to give the player segments where they get to play as Jeanne fighting demons in hell. They even cut Luka's pervert appearances back severely in exchange to focus on Loki and Balder. An improvement in my opinion.

So finally we get Bayonetta 3 where they show multiple universes of Bayonetta and Jeanne together, and fighting and dying for each other, over and over again. They then shaft Luka in with the Arch-Eve and Arch-Adam titles. They don't show how different Bayonetta's interact with different Lukas to build up to that pay-off. They could've done this with Chinese Bayonetta and French Bayonetta. They don't show Lukaon and his version of Bayonetta together to slightly suggest that payoff. They don't show Luka and Bayonetta (Arch-Eve Origin) even having any chemistry in the beginning of the game.

They could've easily had Luka driving around Bayonetta in that opening cut scene instead of Enzo. It would've been a good switch after Bayonetta 2 where Luka is seen driving around Rodin at the end! It would've shown they've gotten close. It also would've been the perfect lead off, with Viola falling into the arms of her alternate universe father, and Luka having no idea who she is before he runs off to investigate. This would've left Cereza to wonder where he ran off to. If they really wanted to pass the baton onto Viola from Bayonetta, then Viola and Bayonetta should've switched jobs after the Luka werewolf discovery. It would've been a callback role reversal from Bayonetta 1 to show this time its different with having Cereza chase after Luka.

The baton would've been passed with having Viola clean up this mess while working with different versions of her mom including fighting grandma Rosa. The finale lead up with them getting stuck in the alpha verse then could've had us switch back to focusing on Bayonetta for the final extremely long boss fight as a solid but unwanted goodbye in a narrative fashion. I still would've hated Luka/Bayonetta end game, but with those changes there'd be a lot less room to fight it like people have been. It also would've made Viola's fights more interesting by giving her alternate Bayonetta abilities and letting those demon summons be hers going forward while having Cereza stick with her original demon crew to show she's being replaced.

I already understand that Luka's changes are the result of each destroyed universe's Luka merging with the original. That's why his head is so messed up, and based on Bayonetta logic we've seen, that's why he turns into a huge furry. So as for their relationship, I knew from Bayonetta 1 they'd pull some shit like this when I saw the director was a man even when they changed directors, especially since the creator was still running the show. I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop, and boy did it drop. Right through my house actually.

It was a sink hole of an affair. It's insulting how they put so much into making the gameplay interesting that they expect the player to just swallow this pill of a story like it was always meant to be. And in a fucked up way it was always meant to be, because bad japanese writers love love love writing this dynamic. Start from 2000s anime and go backwards, and you will keep catching the garbage pervert character maturing just enough to get the hot lady into a romantic relationship. It's not new or unusual. It's just disappointing every time it happens.

Sidenote: There's nothing wrong with the idea of Bayonetta being bisexual. Bisexual Bayonetta is great, but if we're going to pair her with a man, Rodin is right there. Their dynamic is spunky and fun. He's a demon. She's destined for hell after she dies. He legit told her if she died, he'd be on her soul like white on rice. They have the bartender and patron "tell me your woes" dynamic. He lovingly makes beautiful weapons for her to use. He comes in to save her sometimes like Luka does. They find each other entertaining. She's dressed like a sexy nun at his funeral, which is both a mockery of the church and a testament to his resurrection! COME ON PEOPLE.

In summation, I don't know how they would or could recover from this story going into Bayonetta 4. Hideki says it will be following Bayonetta 3, which means Viola will be the protagonist unless some higher ups force his hand to not do that. The other way they'd bring Cereza back is if Bayonetta 4 bombs so severely that they have to retcon anyway and focus on another Cereza in another universe for Bayonetta 5. And that's if they don't settle for putting the franchise in forever limbo in the chance Bayonetta 4 bombs.

I can absolutely see them teasing a different Cereza appearance in order to drag those sales in, but I'm not sure how far trust extends after the ending of Bayonetta 3. The gays are mad and probably won't buy. The gross dude-bros want to see sexy, and Viola is too masculine for them. Long-term fans, who can also fall in any category but actually liked Viola, are going to wait for plot synopsis and for other people to play first before dipping their toes in. I also could be horribly wrong due to streamer culture of needing to buy the latest game with the most attention around it in order to garner views.

I will say I'm not a long term fan. This franchise is new to me. I've digested all I can of Bayonetta for the first time in the past two weeks. However, like any series that's been running for a while, I am curious. I'm also going to wait for reception after other people play it to see if it's something I'd be interested in. And that's if we get it at all.

[theancientdarkbeauty]

Update On This Bitch Ass MF

Alright, my brain is short circuiting, and I'm just screaming into the void rn so, update ahead, enter if you dare (update under cut cause it's a little liggity long)

So, you didn't know unless you were there during the "My computer didn't fucking work" era that started my big ol' hiatus, but I got a new computer (woo hoo! :D) and it was working perfectly. Emphasis on WAS. Turns out, living in the country, I'm too close to town to get to get rural wifi, which is fast as shit, and too far away to get town wifi, which is somehow even faster? Anyways, I knew of this problem when I moved into the house, but it's my family's homestead, I moved here when I was in highschool, yadiyadaya, no need for fast wifi just a couple years ago. HOWEVER! Now that I have a crazy good computer (I'm talking liquid cooled, built it myself, named it TheBeast) I need at least alright wifi, right? Well RECENTLY it's gotten WORSE! Somehow, it got worse than it already was! Which means, and keep in mind, I got petty enough to time it, but this delay in wifi has caused me to wait up to 14. WHOLE. MINUTES. Yes, you read that right: 1. 4. Obviously I'm not gonna just deal with that without, you know, being a little bitch. I have a new wifi provider that I'm going to be testing soon. Hopefully, cross your finger dear reader, I can stop waiting 14 minutes for my college work to load. Oh yeah, I got college stuff to do, specifically taking a creative class because I thought I was out of practice in writing. It's actually really helped! But, the topic, wifi, is that the new router should be here by Wednesday, and I should be able to test it out, maybe fix some errors and stuff that have been happening due to slow wifi.

So, wifi segment over. If you read this far, thanks. I really only made this because I'm frustrated af rn, so reading me type out my rage is something you didn't need to do, so thanks. BUT WAIT! THERE'S FUCKING MORE! (At least in the bad new segment, good news is at the very end, sorry!)

PAYDAY. 3. Hot topic right now, right? Well I had been tying to sign in for A FULL WEEK! SEVEN FUCKING DAYS! I did everything, like, legitimately everything, but caved at 4 days, and contacted the Nebula help line thing. Everyone was very nice, the costumer service was great, a tiny bit slow towards the end, but they had a good reason. I told them what was going on, they were very nice, accidently gave them the wrong Nebula Starbreeze account at first because I'm dyslexic as fuck, still very nice, much better than my conversation with like, the EA or Epic helplines (very long story), and eventually they got to the root of the problem. My problem was that it kept giving me a Nebula Data Configuration Error, every time I booted up the game. Tried everything, like I said earlier. They get to me 3 days after I told them all my special information and all the steps I took to try and troubleshoot on my own. You wanna know what they told me? Of course you do you've read this far. Let me preface this with the fact that I am just mad, and they were very polite about this, and the team is doing the best I can I'm absolutely sure, BUT THEY TOLD ME IT WAS SUCH A SPECIALIZED ERROR THEY NEEDED TO PATCH IT IN THE NEXT UPDATE! Now, I don't know if this was intentional, but they gave me the rough date for the update, but I don't know if it's the real big one everyone's waiting for, so I'm not going to tell you guys because I value their mysteriousness and don't want leak something that starbreeze was only telling me to let me know when to try and play the game again so that I can contact them if it didn't work. I don't know, it'd probably be super cool to be known as the user who knew when the update would come out, but it feels wrong to leak something like that if it is the correct date for the big update and stuff. So now I'm stuck, just listening to Gustavo Coutinho's fucking banner music for Payday 3 from youtube and not being able to watch the gameplay and stuff. And I heard there were cutscenes? CUTSCENES?! I am so excited to see those. WHEN I CAN PLAY THE GAME. (I feel like that one Fair Odd Parents meme omg)

Final update: Fun stuff!

Working on redesigning EVERY. SINGLE. CHARACTER. That has ever left the recesses of my mind for an upcoming comic I'm gonna try and make, once the whole wifi situation is fixed. Working on the new chapter of The Golden Tempest (I almost posted this with it's "inside name" hehe, too bad you'll never know what the files are called), and working on From the Eyes of the Payday Gang, or at least trying to. I'm thinking of doing a grocery store worker at the grocery store the Payday gang all has to take turns going to the store but whole store knows that they're all like a family or some shit because they are all idiots and all use the same car because it's not in the fucking budget to get another car, so they have the escape van and the "family car" and that's it. Holy shit that was a weird lore tangent, but anyways, comic maybe coming, Payday related content definitely coming, some more surprises and goodies in the works, so expect this account to be much more active. Today is the first day off I've in I don't know how long, but a long time, and so just expect some text stuff from me, since my computer can't apparently handle doing anything on CSP because of the wifi situation. Sorry for the long post, have a wonderful day!

Real quick: SHOUT OUT TO THE MUTUAL DECPACEETOES! I DO NOT THINK I SPELLED THAT RIGHT! ALWAYS GOT MY BACK MAN!

(Bonus, if I do anything that involves my person life, I'll add the tag "You're creature speakith", so if you wanna see more of this in the future, follow the tag. Don't like it, never want to see it again, block that shit, I totally understand either way. All my funny or creative prompts will have my signature turtle smile on them. You know, this guy: :} Which is perhaps an homage to the TMNT fandom, or perhaps my herpetology nerd shining through, you will never know, will you?)

[killian-whump]

Game Night! [Liveblog #4]

I’m gonna try to finish up the last game and the end of the video in this post, so we better get right to it!

The last game they’re going to play is called Quiplash. Okay, they’re going to be given a prompt... and whoever finishes the quip in the funniest way wins. Kat warns that she’s a master at this and that everybody’s going down. Colin seems impressed by her bravado, but incensed to win nonetheless. “Here we go,” says Sam unenthusiastically 😂

AND THE GAME IS ON!!!

...or it’s meant to be on. Sam’s not joined the game yet. Seems to be having some sort of technical difficulty. “You scared of losing, Sam?” Colin asks helpfully. “All the rest of us got in pretty easy...”

Sam has joined. His name is now Colonislosin 😂 It’s hard to see exactly how it’s spelled. I don’t think any of them can see it that clearly, either. Sam has to tell them what it says.

“We’ll see,” Colin says. “We’ll see.”

The game begins. “It’s more like Col-on is losin,” Sam says. “Col-on.”

The audio is breaking all up in this segment, and Josh even comments on “Low internet signal. We’re doing great.” Hmm. I paid $10 for this, you damn well better find a stronger internet signal.

ROUND 1! The first quip is: We can all agree that... The two answers are: “Covid sucks” and “Josh... is... hairy” “Covid sucks” wins ~ and Colin gets all the points.

The second quip is: A terrible name for a funeral parlor. The two answers are: “Happy Times Palace” and “We put the Fun in Funeral” “We put the Fun in Funeral” wins ~ and Kat gets all the points.

The third quip is: “Knock Knock” “Who’s There?” The two answers are: “Me DUH” and “Get the fuck away from my door” “Get the fuck away” wins and Josh gets most of the points. Colin gets some too, I think, for his answer, because Sam voted for it.

The fourth quip is: “Something that would make a creepy replacement for the horses on a merry-go-round.” The two answers are: “Mini Josh’s” and “Creepy Princes” AREN’T THOSE THE SAME THING?! 😂 “One and the same,” says Sammy. “You don’t want to sit on a mini Josh, do you?” Sam ponders. Josh forgets to even vote, and Sam gets points for “Mini Josh’s”

At the end of Round 1, Sam is in the lead, with Kat and Colin tied for second.

I wanna take this moment to apologize for how BORING this post is so far. During the games, all five people (the three stars, Josh, and Sammy the producer) are in these miniscule windows on the far right of the screen. You can barely even see them. And during this game, there’s little to no conversation going on between/during the quips. As much fun as this game might be to play, it’s not a lot of fun to watch. The last one was better, but even that tended to DRAG for the audience at home. Josh really needs to work on the games he’s having stars play if he plans to keep charging $10 a month to watch this stuff. Also, the audio keeps breaking up in this segment, so even when they talk, some of it’s hard to decipher.

“I respect that Colin is doing this instead of reading bedtime stories to his children tonight,” Josh says as everyone’s entering in their answers for Round 2. “[That’s] how committed I am,” Colin replies. Kat says something that is so broken up, I can’t even begin to figure out what it is. Something about bedtime stories and Colin’s kids. It’s probably funny. 🤷���♀️ I’m getting mad about my $10 gift card being gone again.

Alright. Round 2.

Quip #1: It never ends well when you mix ___ and ___. Answers: “poo and oatmeal” and “Sam and Josh” Okay, that second one is gold. Who did that? Apparently Colin did “poo and oatmeal” and Kat did “Sam and Josh”. Bless her. Colin gets the points with more votes, though.

Quip #2: The worst car feature that ends with “holder” Answers: “penis” and “diaper” Sam is just blinking rapidly. Now he’s laughing. “How does that work?” he asks. No one answers. “But I wanna know,” he says. “How does it work?” Josh wins the points with his “penis” answer - which Colin voted for, by the way - but no one cares now. “Does it move?” Kat asks. “Or does it just-” “Don’t ask too many questions,” Josh says. “What kind of size is it?” Sam asks. “Is it stationary or is there a motor feature?” Kat asks. “Maybe it’s a good idea...” Sam concludes, as Josh laments the kind of dreams he’s going to have now.

The third quip is literally happening in the background now, as everyone talks about the penis holder. Colin is noticeably silent on the topic XD

Quip #3: Something upsetting you could say to the cable guy as he installs your television service. Answers: “you smell like fart” and “want to see my murder room?” I’m sitting here going, “don’t be Colin, don’t be Colin” while simultaneously knowing 100% that Colin absolutely typed “you smell like fart” into his phone and... Yeah. Yeah, I’m right. That was him 😂 And he got 0 points. “Oh, boooo,” says Colin. Honey... Honey, I’m sorry, but that was bad.

Quip #4: The name of the reindeer Santa did not pick to pull his sleigh. Answers: “ohdeer” and “tipsy” Neither of these are very good. I hate this game. Kat gets the points with “tipsy”.

OH WOW, YOU GUYS. The final points are tallied and...

WHAT IS THIS TOMFOOLERY?! Colin is LOSING?!?! I mean, I know “you smell like fart” was bad, but this is unbelievable! I call shenanigans!!!

Colin is literally sitting forward in his chair now, lmao. The determination is intense, you guys. I once again cannot handle him right now. I wish he wasn’t in the teeny tiny window so I could show you guys better, but look at him getting his fucking game face on:

This man is a peanut and I love him with every fiber of my being. Look at him being a competitive little somesuch in last place. I can’t, you guys. Bury me here, etc, etc, I’m just a goner for this ridiculous man.

O’DONOINTENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last Round: Quip: Strange side effect to hear during a drug commercial. Answers: “cream cheese will come out of your butt” “seeing double horowitz” and “the screams of baboons” - there’s only three because Kat didn’t get her answer in before the time was up. Aaaaaaand the sound’s breaking all up again �� Josh is wondering what the point is of voting, if all you’re doing is giving points to your competitors. “Do you have to give all three votes?” Colin asks. “See,” Josh says. “Colin is thinking strategically, like me.” “Well, I’m not entirely sure the other two, I think, deserve any more than one point.” But it’s... it’s the WAY he says it, OH MY GOD, lol. Lemme... I gotta... Okay, I screen recorded it for you guys.

That O’Donosass is actually almost worth $10, you guys.

Which is good, because the audio is getting worse and worse on this and it’s starting to piss me off. Anyway! Everybody’s got a lot of points, because those were ALL good answers (Colin’s was “the screams of baboons” which I quite like). Let’s see the final tally...

Josh is the winner! But Colin managed a come-from-behind close second, so I’m really proud of him :D Sam mentions how Josh invited them all there to play games and then BEAT them. Josh is closing out the show, saying he hopes everyone enjoyed it... “I enjoyed it,” Josh says "But maybe that’s just 'cause I won at the very last second.” “No, well, you won ONE,” Colin cuts in. “You won ONE game.”

SERIOUSLY. BURY ME RIGHT THERE 😂😂😂

“Colin won the first round,” Josh says.

“...and then we have these two other people.”

Incidentally, I wish everyone’s webcams were as clear as Kat’s.

Anyway, now there’s some sweet summing up... and Josh hawking everyone’s current projects... (gee, it’s like this is promotional content or something) and the show closing down and-

“Can I win next time?” asks Sam Heughan.

~ The End ~

I hope you guys had fun reading this. I gotta say...  this one video isn’t worth $10. I can see if you’re a huge fan of Josh’s or really into celebrity culture, $10 a month might be a fine price to pay for a bunch of this kind of content... but for a one-time video when your fave happens to show up on his channel? Nah. He really should have a “one time access” fee available for individual videos that’s a LOT less. Like, I’m talking, like... $1 or 2. This is literally a zoom call... and as such, the quality’s only as good as his guests’ webcams and audio and everyone’s internet connections. Also, I found the game format enticing... but ultimately boring due to the games chosen. The Would You Rather was the most fun of the three, because we actually got to hear from the stars and get some banter going. The games relied too much on the stars interacting with their devices instead of each other or anyone really engaging the audience. Honestly, if it was any of my faves other than Colin in this video, I might not have even watched the whole thing. Colin’s adorable competitive streak and eagerness to win play games is what kept me watching. The idea is cute, but it needs some work. And the price is too high - especially with the audio issues in the last ten minutes or so. That’s my final verdict.

[periodicreviews]

Last of Us Part II

I went into Last of Us Part II without many spoilers and completed it today. I’m writing out my thoughts before reading any other reviews of the game.

Technical stuff

On a technical level, the game is a logical successor to Uncharted 4. The same great sound design is key to trying to locate where enemies are and I feel like playing with headphones is key. There’s a moment where if you fail a jump, your partner will say “hey you know if you run before the jump…” and the character you control says “yeah yeah, I know.” This is a great way of guiding the character without interrupting them with a prompt.

Returning from Uncharted 4 is the ability for characters to pause mid conversation when you walk away and for them to continue when you get closer. There aren’t quite as many chances for this to be triggered without vehicles but it’s good to see.

One of my big problems with the graphics in Uncharted 4 is that the facial models felt almost unrecognizable as they made them match the actors faces way too much. Nathan Drake just felt like Nolan North, as did Elena’s model. Maybe they learned their lesson because all the faces in TLOU2 felt like the characters I remembered from TLOU1. The only exception being the young Ellie model. At times, her eyes kind of felt dead. I don’t know if that’s a result of porting it from PS3 or not.

I also felt like the default control scheme was too hard to get used to. Dodge being mapped to L1 just did not feel natural coming from a first person shooter background. I eventually remapped it to the circle button, put crouch on the left control stick click, and other changes.

The number of options with respect to controls, which are fully configurable, and visual settings, particularly for motion sickness, are something that every console game should provide.

Speaking of motion sickness, the settings never quite eliminated it for me and although it became more manageable, there was this constant physical discomfort while playing the game. I believe Neil Druckmann said something to the effect that TLOU1 is about hope and TLOU2 is about hate. In that sense, I guess I felt more immersed by hating the game itself for causing my motion sickness.

 The plot

The game can be arguably be broken into two parts, Ellie’s story and Abby’s story. You play a tiny bit of Abby in the beginning of the game but then the focus is mainly on Ellie, until the two intersect at the theater confrontation. After the theater confrontation, you take control of Abby primarily, then finish things off as Ellie.

Once this midway switch happened, I figured they were going to have you play as Abby as you kill Ellie and Dina. I also wasn’t sure whether they would make you be the one to torture Joel. If you don’t know already, the game opens with Abby torturing and murdering Joel, which sets the plot in motion.

For a time, I was kind of upset that they were making me play as Abby. Your first big segment as adult Abby after you know who she is, is the slow walk through the WLF base. It feels like it drags on forever as you walk past children in classrooms, play with the dog, see all the animals, everyone eating in the cafeteria, etc.

Obviously, this is supposed to mirror the beginning of the game with Ellie as you walk through the Jackson level and see every single one of these same things. The level is supposed to get you to empathize with the people you have been murdering for 20 hours. “See? Abby’s not so bad, she wants pine scented soap at the commissary.”

But does everything need to be the same? There’s people running away from Jackson, the Seraphites, and the WLF. Characters on both sides are dealing with the internal power struggle. There just happens to be two pregnant women in Mel and Dina. It just happens to be that both Abby and Ellie are seeking revenge over the death of their father figures. Both WLF and Jackson engage in torture to get the info they need. At times all these coincidences just felt forced.

In the end, the game seems to be saying that this cycle of revenge is pointless because we’re all the same and it just causes more pain. The cycle plays out in this order in the game:

1. Joel murders Abby’s dad

2. Abby tortures and murders Joel

3. Tommy, Dina, and Ellie torture and murder Abby’s party members, in the search to find Abby

4. Abby murders Jesse, seriously injures Tommy, Dina, Ellie

5. Ellie attempts to murder Abby but eventually stops

But it bothered me the whole time that the game didn’t attempt to explain why Abby felt the need to torture Joel, when there’s no evidence that he tortured her father. Then it proceeded to make this equivalence between Abby and Ellie like they were equally guilty. Granted, Ellie tortured Nora in the hospital but that’s only after she egged her on by gloating about Joel’s screams.

Another thing that bothered me in the final pointless battle between Abby and Ellie is that they choose to portray Abby as the better person who doesn’t want to fight. Maybe it’s not necessarily a moral call, but just that she doesn’t think she can win in her current state.

 Abby’s redemption

I guess my bigger complaint is about Abby’s whole redemption arc. After being rescued from the Seraphites by two kids, Lev and Yara, she returns to Owen where the two argue about Owen leaving to find the Fireflies. At the heat of the argument, they decide to have sex, despite Mel being pregnant with Owen’s baby.

That night, Abby has a bad dream where she walks through the door of the hospital where she found her dad’s body and instead finds Yara and Lev dead hanging from a tree. When asked by Yara or Lev why she came back to help, despite all the protests from Owen, she says something like she had to do something or she couldn’t live with herself.

I guess there’s some indication of regret for what she has done in the past. But it’s never made clear if this is about Joel or just her life choices in general. Later on, after rescuing them, she has the same dream but this time, she sees her dad alive instead. That temporary peace is then destroyed by the murder of Owen and she goes on a rampage to try to kill everyone associated with it.

I feel like there’s both not enough of Abby’s past in order to sell the regret and/or not enough regret in the present to sell the shift in behavior.

 Trans representation

I should have done my research before assuming what I had heard was true. It turns out Abby isn’t trans at all, only Lev is (who is in fact voiced by a trans actor). I thought I remembered reading a paper in a Young Abby segment that mentioned “transitioning”. Maybe I read it too fast and it was about another character, not Abby. Thanks to the helpful commenter who corrected me.

It seems people are mad at Laura Bailey just because she voices a character and they don’t like what that fictional character did, which is absurd but unfortunately not surprising.

The game obviously takes a risk by featuring not just one trans character but two. By risk I mean both politically from a company standpoint and from a writing standpoint.

I’m writing this prior to reading any other reviews or to know what exactly the controversy is surrounding Laura Bailey, who plays Abby. I’m assuming the problem is that she is not trans and is playing a trans character. I’m unsure if the same is true for Lev or not. I understand the problem of trans actors being rejected from roles because of that identity. But I don’t think all of the blame for that should lie with Laura Bailey, rather with Naughty Dog for making the choice not to cast a trans actress. If the audition was blind and Laura was select purely based on performance, that would complicate things. But given TLOU2 is almost a movie in terms of all the motion capture that is done, I feel like that probably wasn’t the case.

As a straight man, I felt like Abby and Lev as characters were done tastefully. Their identity is never really centered around being trans, just like Ellie’s character has never been centered around her being lesbian/bisexual. The other characters in the world don’t seem to treat them any differently because they are trans. There also aren’t the usual “trap” tropes or accusations that they aren’t “real” women or men.

 Things that suck

I was kind of surprised at how emotional I got during the game. There have definitely been games that have scared me (Dead Space) and games that have made me cry both out of sadness and joy (Mass Effect 3 Citadel DLC). But I don’t think a game has made me feel the same combination of anger, despair, and disgust in quite the same way.

The game starts off with a very graphic torture scene where Abby murders Joel but that didn’t really affect me. The scene was for sure shocking and I empathized with Ellie. But what really affected me was first having to control Abby as you attack Ellie and maybe even more so, watching Ellie leave Dina to continue to pursue Abby. It just hurt so much to see her give up the perfect life in pursuit of this pointless struggle.

 Was it good?

But is it a good game? Did I enjoy it? Do I agree with the message it’s trying to send?

It’s hard to describe a game like TLOU2 as fun or enjoyable when it’s a horror-action-drama. There are some great scenes between Joel and Ellie, Ellie and Dina, and Ellie and Jessie. It was also nice to see characters like Lev and Yara who have grown up exclusively in this infected world.

I’m 100% on board with seeing a conflict from both sides. I just feel like they portrayed Ellie as evil, in order to make Abby more likeable, all to make both sides seem equal. On a technical level, the game is great, despite it crashing once and some other minor visual issues when the camera would clip through the level. I’d probably give it an 8/10.

[commentaryvorg]

Danganronpa V3 Commentary: Part 5.4

Be aware that this is not a blind playthrough! This will contain spoilers for the entire game, regardless of the part of the game I’m commenting on. A major focus of this commentary is to talk about all of the hints and foreshadowing of events that are going to happen and facts that are going to be revealed in the future of the story. It is emphatically not intended for someone experiencing the game for their first time.

Last time, in chapter 5’s first day of free time, which should by all rights have finally been a segment with barely any Kaito focus, multiple invitation dialogues had me talking about heroes and sidekicks, we hung out with Maki and heard adorable stories of her best friend from the orphanage and the sacrifices she made for her… and then Himiko’s FTEs somehow managed to be an incredibly fitting metaphor for what’s been going on between Shuichi and Kaito, which may or may not be on purpose on the writers’ part but I sure had way too much fun with it regardless.

Shuichi:  (It’s nighttime. I *would* have been training…)

You could train without Kaito! You’ve done it before. Buuuut I don’t know how much good that would do to take Shuichi’s mind of his problems in this situation, because his biggest problem right now is intrinsically connected to the training itself, so he’d just be constantly reminding himself of it and worrying about it more.

*ding-dong!* *ding-dong!*

Unnecessary hypothetical tangent time! I’ve seen a few blind Let’s Players respond to this by wondering if it could be Kaito having come to talk to Shuichi. To which my immediate thought was “don’t you know it obviously can’t be Kaito; the doorbell didn’t ring a million times”.

But! Then I thought about it some more. If this was hypothetically Kaito having mustered up the courage to talk to Shuichi about what happened in the trial, he would still be convinced that Shuichi feels let down by and ashamed of him. Kaito would believe that Shuichi wouldn’t want to talk to him, and therefore that Shuichi probably wouldn’t answer the door if he knew it was Kaito. So Kaito would not want to make it clear it was him at the door by ringing it incessantly and would only ring the normal-person amount of times, to make Shuichi think it was somebody else. Which would be a fun reversal of the time in chapter 3 when Maki deliberately mimicked Kaito’s doorbell habits because she still felt that Shuichi wouldn’t answer the door if he knew it was her.

Anyway, that’s all a total hypothetical and Kaito does not in fact have the courage to face Shuichi whatsoever. It’s Maki at the door.

Maki:  “Kaito asked me earlier… to show him my research lab.”

Shuichi:  “Huh? Your lab?”

Maki:  “I might as well show him, since I know he won’t take no for an answer… So you have to come, too.”

She just says Shuichi “has” to come without explaining why that’s so apparently necessary. This is all about her trying to get Shuichi and Kaito in the same space so that they can potentially talk to each other and sort things out between them, but she’s not mentioning that here. Maybe she thinks that if she tells Shuichi that then he won’t want to come.

She then leaves after saying this without checking if Shuichi is actually coming with her. Clearly she has learned that if you tell Shuichi to do a thing in an assertive enough tone, he will probably do it. Kaito taught her that one.

Shuichi:  “…” (Maki invited me, so… I should go.)

Implying that he’s only going because Maki invited him and he doesn’t want to disappoint her. Meaning that he doesn’t want to go for Kaito’s sake and the chance of making up with him, like he’s just expecting everything between them to continue to be painful and awkward and there’s nothing he’d ever be able to do to fix that.

Tsumugi is hanging out in the courtyard looking up at the stars, and reminds Shuichi of what Gonta said once before about them looking different. She could have reminded us of this at any time up to this point, but she’s choosing to do so now. It’s almost like this is finally the chapter where all of the hints about the space thing are being dropped at once and she’s deliberately adding to that.

Tsumugi:  “With all the horrible things happening, I was always looking down… I need to thank Gonta.”

She’s still committed to her thing of caring about Gonta, at least. She didn’t drop that once he died (even though she’s one of the people responsible for his death). I guess he really was her favourite character.

Shuichi:  “Ah, sorry I’m late…”

Kaito:  “Hm? O-Oh… so you came, too…”

Kaito was not mentally prepared to suddenly be in the same room as Shuichi right now, was he.

Shuichi:  “Y-Yeah…”

Kaito:  “…”

Shuichi:  “…” (Silence.)

So much for Maki hoping that this would magically get them to talk to each other. They are both still convinced that the other doesn’t want to talk to them, so this was never going to happen just because they’re in the same room.

Maki:  *sigh*

(As if utterly bored by the painful silence, Maki started up a conversation.)

She is so frustrated at her friends continuing to be idiots like this.

Maki:  “Why did you ask to see my research lab so suddenly, Kaito?”

Kaito:  “Well… I just wanted to see what kind of weapons were here.”

Maki:  “What? Why would you want to see my weap—”

Kaito:  “But wow! There’s a ton of stuff here!”

Because he’s going to need a bunch of weapons for his brilliantly heroic plan that he’s been working on, of course! It’s a little surprising that he doesn’t mention that that’s what this is for here, especially the way he seems to deliberately cut off her question about it. Maybe he’s worried that Maki is going to try and talk him out of doing something reckless if he tells her the plan right now.

Kaito:  “But there’s no swords of any kind here – Japanese or western – right?”

Maki:  “I don’t use swords of any type. Not after I botched a mission with my katana.”

Which Kaito should already know, but that was an optional scene so we’re awkwardly pretending like he doesn’t.

Kaito:  “Either way, I don’t feel like weapons really suit women.”

Aaand here’s the final Misogyny Bullet to hit its mark. This one I can’t actually prove to be something that is objectively out of character for Kaito to think, because we’ve never heard anything about his thoughts on weapons at all up until now. But based on the fact that every other comment of Kaito’s like this was provably out of character, we can assume that this isn’t something we should take to heart as being a defining point about him either.

(This final one is literally only the fourth instance of this in the whole game. Four single lines. Just picture how absolutely tiny that molehill is, compared to the mountain of everything else Kaito ever says and does throughout five chapters of being one of the most prominent characters, all of which thoroughly contradicts him being that kind of person.)

Maki:  “Care to explain why you wanted to see my weapons?”

Kaito:  “Didn’t I tell you this morning? I’ve got a plan all figured out. Oh! What’s in that black case over there?”

(As if backing away from the conversation, Kaito headed to the far bookcase…)

He still seems to be trying to avoid talking about his plan as much as possible, probably because he doesn’t want Maki to question him on it and learn that he does not, in fact, have anything “all figured out” at all.

I also get the sense that Kaito “backing away from the conversation” like this is him finding a distraction that’ll give him an excuse to not have to talk to Shuichi either. Kaito knows perfectly well why Maki invited him, after all.

Kaito:  “Hm, so when you put them together, they become a crossbow. Looks interesting.”

Kaito is so curious and interested in anything and everything! Even when it’s a weapon, which he just said… well, let’s pretend he just said he doesn’t really like weapons in general. (It would make sense for Kaito to think that, since he’s all about people working together and communicating and using human creations to achieve great things, not using the fruits of human ingenuity to hurt each other.)

And Kaito’s really only interested in the crossbow for curiosity’s sake, rather than in terms of his plan, because he doesn’t include any crossbows in his big pile of weapons in the gym tomorrow.

Kaito:  “Hey Maki Roll… can you teach me how to put it together?”

He’s not even planning to use the crossbows on Monokuma and he has no idea he’s going to want to use one later either! He just wants to learn a cool thing!

Maki:  “And then, put that other part in the opposite way… Ah wait. That’s wrong.”

Kaito:  “Oh, my bad. It goes this way.”

Maki:  “Mmhm. Then, next it’s—”

It’s pretty cute to see Kaito being the one in the role of student, messing up sometimes and having Maki guide him and fix his mistakes. That’s a role Kaito is not usually comfortable putting himself in at all. Presumably he’s okay with this here because this is just an intellectual thing and there’s always more to be learned in that regard. This is quite separate from the kind of emotional and personal growth that he is always supposed to be in the teacher role for and definitely never need any help with himself.

Shuichi:  (While watching those two, the memory of a similar scene came to my mind.)

Shuichi’s talking about himself and Kaede, specifically the time she held his hand and encouraged him to be braver about his issues of facing the truth. Which… doesn’t have anything to do with Maki teaching Kaito how to build a crossbow? The only vague similarity is that Maki is giving Kaito guidance, but I just talked about how it’s a completely different type of guidance from emotional support and therefore not really that analogous at all. Any moment in which Kaito was encouraging Shuichi or Maki to fight their “enemy” earlier in the story would have been a far more appropriate moment for Shuichi reminiscence about this – after all, Kaito, rather than Maki, is the one who’s really parallel to Kaede.

The only other similarity is that there happen to be romantic feelings involved in both cases, which is clearly what the game is actually trying to get at. And that’s annoying. It makes no sense to try and link them together just because of that when they are otherwise completely different – they both involve two people bonding in some way, perhaps, but they’re completely different kinds of bonding and neither are inherently romantic and could just as well have happened if all the feelings involved were nothing but platonic. Maki certainly isn’t thinking about what she’s doing as some kind of peak romance. She’s just teaching Kaito how to build a goddamn crossbow. The fact that she incidentally happens to have feelings for him is completely irrelevant, and there’s nothing in her behaviour that suggests that’s on her mind right now.

The narrative’s treatment of Maki’s thing for Kaito can occasionally get a little amatonormative, which frustrates me. (It’s still pretty minor, though – I see far, far worse all the freaking time.) But Maki herself never makes as big of a deal about it as the narrative does, which is appropriate for her character and which I appreciate. The writing is slightly awkward about it, but it’s not the writing of Maki which is awkward, just the writing around her, so I don’t have an inherent problem with the fact that Maki feels this way.

Kaito:  “Whoa, since I built it, it became an extra-cool crossbow!”

Naturally. A Luminary of the Stars crossbow! He’s such a dork.

(And, given the state of mind he’s been in lately, he’s almost certainly completely faking his overblown opinion of himself now.)

Kaito:  “It seems like it’s a bit complicated… but I think I can do it by myself next time.”

You’re not even currently planning on there being a next time, Kaito!

Maki:  “…Shuichi, do you want to learn, too?”

While Maki started teaching Kaito because he asked, she offers to do the same for Shuichi out of nowhere. I get the sense that she’s trying to include him in what’s happening and give him and Kaito some common ground to maybe, just maybe, actually start a conversation over and slowly begin to close the gap between them.

(And the fact that she offered this to Shuichi goes to show that teaching someone how to build a crossbow is, funnily enough, not some kind of deep metaphor for romantic feelings.)

Shuichi:  “Ah, no, that’s alright… I sort of understand from watching anyway.”

…But it seems Shuichi doesn’t quite want to be included in this way and possibly brought closer to having to maybe talk to Kaito. Dammit, Shuichi, you’re not helping the situation here.

Maki:  “Then let’s put it away. You can easily take it apart by reversing the steps.”

Kaito:  “Wait, do I have to do it?”

Maki:  “Who else is going to do it?”

Kaito:  “Yeah… s-sorry… I don’t… feel too good again…”

Maki:  “…Huh?”

Kaito:  “It seems like I’m not at 100%! So I’m gonna go back first!”

This is not about Kaito not wanting to put the crossbow away. He has never actually been as lazy and flaky as he can sometimes come across – and most of the times that he has come across that way, it’s really been because of his illness. This is because of his illness too. He’s probably started to feel another blood-coughing fit coming on and desperately doesn’t want to be around them for it (and we are indeed going to see him coughing up blood soon after this). So he’s using not wanting to put the crossbow away as his cover for leaving – and since being lazy and unreliable is not something it’d be in his character to admit to so he can’t just claim that outright without it sounding like an obvious excuse, he’s making it sound like he’s using his illness as the obviously-fake excuse to get out of that.

He’s making the truth sound like a lie in order to convince everyone that it’s not really the truth at all. That is some Kokichi-level deception there. Kaito is getting really desperate.

Shuichi:  (Ignoring Maki trying to stop him, Kaito fled the room.)

“Fled”. That sure is a word to describe it, Shuichi. Somehow I don’t think having to put a crossbow away and tidy up after yourself is something anyone would ever have a reason to flee from.

Maki:  “I knew he wasn’t the type to clean up, but I never thought he’d run away with a crappy lie…”

It worked. He convinced them that the illness part was the lie and not the other way around. Maki even remarks that it doesn’t seem like him to lie about that, yet she still bought that that’s what he did. God damnit, Kaito.

Maki:  “…How frustrating. He’s the worst.”

I love her pouty face as she says this. Why does she care about this idiot so much. (Because he still saved her, even though he’s an idiot.)

Shuichi:  “Ah, well, that’s just Kaito…”

Is it, Shuichi? I thought you were always the one to stand up for him when he couldn’t train because he was phobia-sick and Maki acted like he was just making pathetic excuses. Shouldn’t you be standing up for him here in that same way, since you know Kaito never really makes excuses like that? Apparently not, because that would mean suggesting that Kaito really is still sick and that wasn’t just an excuse. Even though it was clear at breakfast that nobody was convinced Kaito was really back at 100%, Shuichi still does not want to suggest out loud that this could be the case.

Maki:  “I’m sure you know why I invited you, right?”

Shuichi:  “Y-Yeah… I do. You were trying to get Kaito and me to make up.”

Of course Shuichi knew that as well. They both did – they just didn’t want to acknowledge it because that would mean admitting that they should be trying to talk to each other.

Really, Maki was going about this in a very unhelpfully indirect way that was just giving both of them plenty of excuse to continue to awkwardly ignore each other. What she really should have done is just talk about it, explicitly bringing attention to the fact that they should be talking to each other and try to force them to do so one way or another. If she was willing to be less indirect, I can honestly see her just declaring that she’s not letting them leave until they’ve talked to each other, then shutting them in here and guarding the door from outside. Granted, Kaito would probably immediately decide he’s not going to say a word in the hope he can out-stubborn Maki and get her to give up and let them out, because doing that would seem less painful to him than actually talking to Shuichi about this. But Shuichi at least would attempt to talk to Kaito for lack of anything else to do (he doesn’t think he can out-stubborn Maki), and in the process Kaito would start to realise that he’s completely misunderstanding Shuichi’s whole state of mind here and they might actually get somewhere.

If only Maki had realised that just them talking to each other in any shape or form would immediately start to fix things.

Maki:  “It’s not like he hates you or anything.”

Very correct! I’m glad she knows this much at least. (If she thought Kaito really did (inconceivably) hate Shuichi now, there’d have been no point her even trying to get them to make up here.)

Maki:  “He’s just being stubborn.”

…Less correct. Stubbornness would mean that this is about his principles and he’s stubbornly sticking to them even if it means shunning Shuichi. As I went over countless times during the trial, that was never truly the point. But the fact that Maki thinks it is explains why she doesn’t realise how easily talking would solve things – she thinks talking would just make it worse as long as Kaito’s still in this stubborn mood and it’s instead a case of needing to slowly wear down his stubbornness, hence her completely unhelpful indirect approach.

Shuichi:  “But… I just don’t know what to say to him.”

He doesn’t say anything else before this “but”, so he never specifically agrees that he knows Kaito doesn’t hate him. Shuichi, please tell me you at least know Kaito doesn’t hate you. You can’t be that painfully wrong, surely?

Shuichi:  “I-I had no choice! Gonta… If I didn’t do something, everyone would have died… I… I don’t think it’d be right to apologize for that…”

*very deep breath*

EXACTLY! Of course you shouldn’t apologise for that when you didn’t do anything wrong! This is precisely Kaito’s opinion on apologising! It is not possible that he could be expecting an apology from you!

This right here is the other reason I kept stressing Kaito’s principles on apologising so much – because it proves beyond a doubt that it does not make any kind of sense for Kaito to be angry at Shuichi here and wanting some kind of apology before he’ll talk to him again.

This isn’t something that necessarily requires multiple playthroughs to appreciate, either. I noticed during this moment on my first time through that what Shuichi said matched Kaito’s previously-stated opinions exactly and therefore Shuichi was wrong to be assuming Kaito wanted him to apologise. This is the biggest, most unambiguous clue that would let someone pick up that there’s more going on with Kaito here than meets the eye, but apparently most people still don’t, and it makes me sad. I’ve watched several blind LPs of this game – probably something like ten by now – and out of all of them, only one eventually sort of vaguely wondered if there might be more to this than just Kaito being angry. The real truth of this situation is so compelling, and it doesn’t deserve to be written off as its apparent face value and nothing more.

There’s also the part where Shuichi was almost certainly witness to the time Kaito most clearly expressed his opinions about apologising, to Kaede back in chapter 1 after the tunnel incident. You may recall how I awkwardly went out of my way to point out that despite how Kaito and Shuichi each leave after having their optionally-ordered conversations with Kaede there, it makes the most sense to think that Kaito canonically said his bit first and so Shuichi would have overheard it. This is the future point at which that is relevant that I promised back then. Buuuut, even though Shuichi probably heard Kaito’s speech that time, apparently he forgot about that, because if he remembered then he should be able to realise that Kaito can’t possibly want him to apologise here. I guess we can put that down to the fact that at the time his dependency was focused on Kaede and he wasn’t really paying attention to Kaito that much, so the things Kaito said weren’t necessarily likely to register or stick in his mind.

Something else interesting to note is that while Shuichi had a tendency to apologise unnecessarily in front of Kaede a lot, he never did so in front of Kaito, not even earlier on. He can’t have done, because if he had, Kaito would have given him the whole don’t-apologise-when-you’re-not-in-the-wrong speech and he’d definitely have remembered that. “Don’t make yourself feel bad unnecessarily for something that isn’t your fault” was in fact the general gist of a lot of the advice Kaito was giving Shuichi near the start, since that was Shuichi’s biggest problem. But Kaito never specifically mentioned apologising during any of that advice, so Shuichi never picked up on that part of his philosophy in particular – and I wonder how deliberate that was on the writers’ part in order to get this chapter to work.

It’s also quite remarkable that Shuichi is self-assured enough to be able to stand by what he did here and be sure that he shouldn’t apologise. That chapter 1 Shuichi who apologised too much to Kaede, and maybe also the early-chapter-2 Shuichi who blamed himself for Kaede’s death, would almost certainly have caved into telling himself he was in the wrong about this. And that growth from Shuichi is most likely thanks to Kaito’s influence anyway, albeit in a more indirect way that he’s less consciously aware of. Shuichi’s become able to think this way at least in part because some of Kaito’s general conviction and self-assuredness has rubbed off on him, even without him needing to follow specific words of advice.

Shuichi:  “I’m sorry, Maki. I just… need more time…”

You’re not the one who needs it, Shuichi. The responsibility to fix this isn’t on you. If you could figure out what was going on in Kaito’s head and manage to help him, that would be really good… but you shouldn’t have to.

The reality of it is that Kaito was the one whose actions in the trial were in the wrong, not Shuichi. Kaito ended up making things more painful for Shuichi in a way that could have been avoided if he hadn’t acted the way he did. It’s like a worse version of the time he punched Shuichi at the end of Kaede’s trial, which was him losing control of himself and lashing out when he never really wanted to, and he apologised for that the morning after. Kaito is the one who owes Shuichi an apology here, and there’s no way he’s not aware of that. This is the one time in the story that Kaito shows an exception to his principles about apologising in the opposite direction from usual: not apologising when he has done something wrong. It’s not that he doesn’t think he should – it’s just that the thought of how badly he failed Shuichi during the trial hurts him so much that he doesn’t have the strength to accept it and face Shuichi and admit that he messed up.

The problem isn’t that Kaito is being stubborn, but rather that right now he’s basically being a coward. Which has a very different ring to it than all the times I’ve called Kokichi a coward, because Kokichi is almost always a coward and nopes away at the slightest sign of anything he doesn’t like. But Kaito is usually able to be pretty damn brave and face unpleasant things head-on – that even seems to be one of his general principles, like when he was encouraging Himiko to face up to Tenko’s death. So the fact that he can’t bring himself to face this even slightly just goes to show how absolutely terrified he must be about admitting this failure to Shuichi.

(Ready for an even-more-overthinking-it and somewhat personal tangent? Kaito concluding that he’s obviously failed Shuichi is very much a result of his issues about heroes and sidekicks, and I don’t want to sound like I’m about to diminish the importance of that. But the fact that this perceived failure is then apparently so unbearably painful to him that he simply cannot face it suggests to me that Kaito is also dealing with a thing called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, which amplifies this type of emotional pain to far more intense levels (and has a somewhat misleading name because it can also be about failure as well as rejection). This is one of the lesser-known symptoms of ADHD, and once this occurred to me, I then thought of everything else about Kaito and realised that huh, this actually makes a lot of sense. So ADHD Kaito is a pet headcanon of mine, one which totally doesn’t have anything to do with me having realised that I have ADHD and researched more about exactly what it is while being hyperfixated on Kaito. I have a lot more thoughts about this that don’t belong in this commentary because they aren’t really relevant to the story – the only point at which this headcanon potentially impacts the story, hence why I’m even mentioning it here at all, is right here in early chapter 5. I can confirm from experience that RSD sucks and makes even seemingly innocuous things hurt like hell, so if Kaito really does have ADHD and this really is contributing to his pain right now, holy crap I do not blame him one bit for not being able to face this.)

Maki:  *sigh* “I didn’t realize you two would require such high maintenance.”

I love the way Maki puts this, like she’s unintentionally wound up taking care of two very difficult children. She’s such a good child caregiver!

Shuichi:  “S-Sorry…”

Not your fault, Shuichi. Well, okay, slightly your fault for being so oblivious, but one can’t really blame you for what you’re not aware of. It is definitely far more Kaito’s fault for not having the courage to do what he knows he should be doing to put this right.

Shuichi:  (I didn’t realize… Maki would be so concerned about us.)

And speaking of you being oblivious, Shuichi! How do you not already know by this point that Maki is a very caring person who would obviously worry about her friends when they’re being like this?

Shuichi:  (In the end, I was the one who ended up disassembling the crossbow.)

So Maki did end up teaching him how to do it (albeit backwards) after all. Sort of beside the point though when the reason she offered in the first place was to try and encourage him and Kaito to talk to each other here, and it’s too late for that.

Shuichi:  (And then there’s the… thing with me and Kaito…) “I need to make up with him… For us… and for Maki.”

Shuichi is still assuming it’s his responsibility to do this and not having it even remotely occur to him that actually maybe Kaito’s the one who needs to take action. But it’s nice that he sees it as even more important to do now he realises it’s not just hurting the two of them but also Maki as well. This is definitely something Kaito would realise too after tonight… not that that’s going to be enough to give Kaito the push he needs to do something, so he’s just going to be feeling even more guilty and awful about his cowardice now.

Shuichi:  (I fell asleep thinking about it…)

This is the first time in a while Shuichi has gone to sleep while thoughts of his current problems have been going around and around in his head. Kaito’s training was supposed to help him not do that! But here we are again… thanks to Kaito’s mistakes.

Meanwhile, Kaito is helplessly coughing up blood outside, presumably in some hidden corner of the courtyard where Shuichi and Maki wouldn’t have accidentally happened across him on their way back.

Kaito:  “Wh-Why…? Why… now? Why… me?”

This “why me?” is the closest Kaito ever gets to expressing the sentiment that it’s not fair that he’s the one who has to go through this. No-one else is dealing with anything like this; he’s the only one who has to carry this unimaginably heavy burden on top of everything else. Kaito would never directly voice the idea that he doesn’t think it’s fair, because that would centre things around himself – he’s bad enough at thinking that his suffering even matters at all, never mind putting it above everyone else’s. He is far too painfully selfless to ever consciously think that way, even beneath the façade he puts on for others – Kaito would sooner go through this a thousand times over than wish it upon anybody else in his place. But even so, there is a tiny part of him that does still feel that injustice that manages to come through here, just subtly enough that he probably doesn’t even register it, while he’s alone and no-one will ever see him feeling this way.

Also, though, why Kaito indeed? There’s three different answers to this question depending on the level of fictionality you look at it through.

In the most fictional sense, in terms of the in-story story about the meteorites and the virus that everyone on the Gofer Project was supposed to be immune to, it’s because he’s the astronaut. If they’re going to be flying in a spaceship and reaching a new world, an astronaut is the one talent they’d benefit from more than anything else, to the point that they’d be willing to take compromises over the immunity thing in order to get Kaito on board. An astronaut who’s only partially immune to the virus and who will be sick and drop dead a few weeks into the trip is still better than no astronaut at all. If any of the students was going to turn out to be only partially immune to the virus despite having been chosen for the Gofer Project, the most plausible one for it would be him.

In a less fictional sense, on the level of this being a story written by Team Danganronpa, it’s because Kaito was written to be the figure of support for Shuichi’s character arc of being a weak Ultimate Detective who grows strong. In aid of that, they wanted Kaito to give him that push in the first place, but then for Shuichi to have to slowly learn to stand on his own without Kaito. First they did this by extremely lazily nerfing Kaito’s effectiveness in chapter 3 with his arbitrary phobia. And now they’re nerfing Kaito in the most comprehensive way there is, by killing him. It’s possible that he would have gotten killed by the killing game at some point anyway, but the in-universe writers couldn’t leave that to chance and wanted to be sure Shuichi would eventually lose him, so they made sure Kaito was dying no matter what for an external reason that could be conveniently tied into their backstory.

(Oh, man, if Kaito ever learned that the reason he’s dying, on the truest level that matters to him, is simply that the mastermind just wanted him out of the way and out of the “story” so that Shuichi could take the spotlight and be the real hero who doesn’t need his help anymore… fuck, that would be vicious. That’d stab Kaito exactly where he’s already hurting the most. Maybe it’s a good thing he never actually learns the truth.)

But on the not-at-all-fictional level, it’s because the real, out-universe purpose of Kaito’s story isn’t just to be the mentor for Shuichi’s development, but also to be a deconstruction of those kinds of heroic mentor characters. (I can think of four other characters in other works of fiction who remind me of Kaito in that they seem like perfect heroes but know that their best friend can become even stronger than them and inspire said friend to reach that potential – and all four of them die.) In order to deconstruct that, Kaito needed to be, on some level, not okay with only being there to inspire Shuichi and then die, and to do that he needs to know that he’s going to die. Kaito would already have been messed up to some extent by his percieved inferiority to Shuichi even if he weren’t dying, but the helplessness caused by his impending death and how he tried to deal with it by clinging to the feeling that at least Shuichi needs him only to lose that too has made his breakdown far more spectacular than it would have been otherwise. Kaito’s entire character arc is delightful and his looming inevitable death is a vital part of it, and the out-universe writers know exactly what they’re doing. (The in-universe writers don’t, though. I really believe they only see Kaito as a disposable crutch for Shuichi’s development and not as someone to have a character arc of his own. Boy were they wrong. Boy are most of the best parts of this story not something the in-universe writers had planned at all.)

Kaito:  “Damn it… I’m running… outta time.”

Not for himself. He already said this morning he was going to get “you guys” and not “us” out of here. He’s running out of time to finally make a difference and be a hero to everyone else after how badly he feels he’s failed so far.

Kaito:  “I can’t die like this… Like hell am I gonna… die here…”

“Like this”, meaning he can’t die the way he currently is, as a failure. “Here”, meaning he can’t die while everyone’s still trapped in here and at least wants to see them escape and know they’re going to be okay before the end.

Kaito:  “I… I still… haven’t gone… t-to space… Damn it…”

Final reminder: Kaito cannot die before he has gone to space. Five times he says something to this effect. It is So Important.

…But this time, I don’t think Kaito really believes he’s going to manage it. I think this is him brokenly lamenting the realisation that he’s never going to make it to space after all. Everything else he wants is for others. This is the only thing he wants that’s purely for himself, and it’s the one thing he knows is already a lost cause.

I really like how the illustration here is framed such that the background behind Kaito is the stars he thinks he’ll never get to reach.

This is almost the same illustration as the scene at the end of chapter 3, except there’s a lot more blood, and his expression is even more anguished, to the point that he’s crying. The previous times Kaito cried, it was for other people who’d died, for all of the pain that everyone had been feeling in general. Here, Kaito is only crying for himself. So it’s only natural that he’d only ever do this when nobody else will see him.

Also, mad props to Kaito’s voice actor for this scene. You can hear every bit of his fear and helplessness beneath his desperate attempts to still sound determined, and it’s wonderful.

(His Japanese VA’s performance here is equally good, mind you; do recommend checking out both.)

Also also, props to the out-universe writers for even including this scene? This is one of not many times that Shuichi’s POV is broken, and that usually only happens during chapter opening/ending stingers. And we already know full well by this point that Kaito is definitely dying, so it’s not like this tells us any new plot information that we didn’t otherwise have. We’re shown this solely because it’s important for us to understand how Kaito is feeling about this, that the façade he puts on in front of the others is very much a façade for the others and he isn’t able to lie to himself about the way he really feels. Even if he has trouble admitting it to himself in words, because that would be tantamount to giving up, he is clearly quite consciously aware of how bad things are beneath it all. (This is, of course, in contrast to Kokichi, who was still thoroughly lying to himself about everything when we saw him alone at night.) The writers care so much about getting Kaito’s character arc across as much as is possible considering how much he hides from the surface and how oblivious Shuichi is to it all, and I’m so glad they do.

On a related note, it’s time for my favourite Monokuma Theater! Which happens to be the only one of the actually-meaningful ones whose meaning should be readily apparent on a first time through.

Monokuma:  “Recklessness is a beautiful thing.”

Because he’s obviously talking about Kaito.

Monokuma:  “It’s so beautiful, I want to print the words ‘Reckless Beauty’ on a t-shirt.”

(I low-key want there to be Danganronpa fan creators out there who have actually made t-shirts like this.)

Monokuma:  “Because recklessness is the stuff that dreams are made of.”

Dreams like going to space, no matter how impossible that might seem!

Monokuma:  “It’s what makes you run at full speed, with no regard for your limitations.”

It’s what makes you cheat your way in and take a test you know you’re too young for, with no regard for what might happen if you get caught, all so that you can get to space that much sooner! It’s what makes you keep giving it your all to support your friends, with no regard for the fact that you’re dying!

Monokuma:  “It’s what makes you excited by anything.”

Like space! Like snow! Like crossbows! Like every single kind of human endeavour imaginable! Like magic and made-up kids’ games you know aren’t true but who cares because pretending they are is fun!

Monokuma:  “Some say it’s foolish, but recklessness is what causes new events to unfold.”

Like encouraging everyone to risk using the first Flashback Light when most of them were too scared to try it! Like reaching out to a lonely assassin who would have remained alone without your help because nobody else wanted to risk getting close to her! Like taking action to fight back even though you have no idea what you’re doing, because if you don’t then no-one else will!

Monokuma:  “So while you’re still alive, live your life so recklessly that it makes you immortal.”

And maybe if you live so recklessly in the time you have left, with such brazen disregard for your limits and weaknesses, maybe it’ll help you feel like you aren’t really weak and dying at all.

Monokuma:  “And if haters laugh at you, let them. They just don’t appreciate reckless beauty like you do.”

Stick to your convictions! Be true to yourself! Never stop being you, no matter how much everyone else tells you you’re an idiot! You know your recklessness is beautiful, so who cares what others think!?

This whole thing is clearly written to celebrate so many of the things that are great about Kaito, and I love it.

---

[Next post]

[starringemiliaclarke]

Emilia Clarke on Why Game of Thrones Is the Perfect Form of Escapism + HQ Scans

As Daenerys Targaryen on Game of Thrones, Emilia Clarke created a warrior queen for the ages. Her legend can be told on the walls of caves or on T-shirts at Comic-Con. But behind the Valkyrie wigs and very testy dragons, Clarke has an inspiring origin story of her own.

A valley sprawls before her, rich with every color of green in the kingdom, reaching out to a twinkling city, which borders the infinite sea. Her hair (tinted not with peroxide, but tiny flecks of actual gold) glows with a radiance that makes the setting sun so jealous it hides behind the surrounding mountains, and the evening sky blushes. She is Daenerys Targaryen, Queen of the Andals, Breaker of Chains, Mother of Dragons, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea. Everything in sight belongs to her.

Just kidding! She is Emilia Clarke, sitting high above Beverly Hills in a glass mansion rented for a magazine cover shoot. So high up that passing aircraft rattle the bones of the house and those inside it. So high up that you can see Santa Catalina Island in the distance, peeking out from behind a curtain of fog. She laughs about something the makeup artist says, and the last of the evening light bounces off of her cheekbones and shoots into the camera lens.

We are in the sky to talk about Clarke’s reign as one of the most preeminent television actresses of our time, as Daenerys on Game of Thrones. But first, I have a few questions about her abandoned career as a jazz singer.

Clarke’s default emotion is joy — her resting heart rate seems to be just below that of someone seconds after winning a medium-expensive raffle prize — but it quickly congeals into theatrical horror when I reveal that I know that she is a casual but talented singer of jazz music.

When she was 10, Clarke was an alto in a chorus that she describes as “very churchy.” Then a substitute teacher introduced her class to jazz. “I just innately understood it,” she explains. “I was always sliding up and down the notes. Every time, the [chorus] teacher would be like, ‘Quit sliding, just sing that note and then that one and that’s it. Stop trying to fuck with it.’ Then this [jazz teacher] was like, ‘Fuck with it. That’s the point.’ ” Fast-forward a couple of decades, and Clarke was singing “The Way You Look Tonight” at the American Songbook Gala in New York, honoring Richard Plepler, erstwhile CEO of HBO. Nicole Kidman was there, too, and that is the story of Emilia Clarke, a very famous singer.

Just kidding, again! That is the story of Emilia Clarke, extremely famous actress, and it is not even the beginning. Game of Thrones, the HBO fantasy epic that has captured the global zeitgeist for most of the past decade, has entered its ultimate season. Since the show premiered in 2011, Daenerys’s searing platinum blonde has been branded into the brains of every living person with cable access, so much so that she has become as recognizable an action figure as Princess Leia. Every autumn, legions of Americans don Grecian-style dresses and carry stuffed dragons to Halloween parties in homage. Kristen Wiig even appeared on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon in a full Daenerys getup. This phenomenon exists in part because it’s a relatively easy costume to assemble, but more likely because Game of Thrones is the most popular TV show in the history of TV shows.

It’s also just one of three popular entertainment franchises Clarke has participated in. Last year: Solo: A Star Wars Story, as a paramour of Han Solo. Two years before that: the fifth Terminator movie, beside Arnold. She was also Holly Golightly in a short-lived Breakfast at Tiffany’s production on Broadway. None of those projects were particularly successful — but none of that matters, to a remarkable degree, because what matters is: The people love Daenerys.

They love a character whose series arc begins with her indentured servitude as a warlord’s concubine and ends, most recently, with her fighting for sovereignty over a league of nations and for a throne made of swords. They love how fictional languages drift from her mouth like dancing smoke, and how her searing-white mane retains a fearsome curl, even in or near battle. They love the whole dragons thing.

The people would love Emilia Clarke, too, if only they knew who she was. During the first few seasons of Game of Thrones, Clarke was able to fool the general public into believing she was very regular civilian Emilia Clarke, because Daenerys was blonde, and Clarke was not. Now, she says, recognition happens more frequently. Particularly Stateside.

For reasons I cannot fathom, Americans feel more entitled to command the attention of celebrities. “People are like, ‘UH-melia CLORK!’ ” she says, in perfect American. In London, people are prone to whisper about her as she passes by. “ ‘Was that Emilia Clarke?’ ”

“I move like a shark when I’m in public,” she says. “Head down. I think I’ve got quite bad posture because of it, because I’m determined to lead a normal life. So I just move too quickly for anyone to register if it’s me or not. And I don’t walk around with six security men and big sunglasses and a bizarre coat. I really try to meld in.” It gets worse when the show is being promoted, but otherwise, she says, it’s not so bad.

“I move like a shark when I’m in public. Head down…I’m determined to lead a normal life, so I just move too quickly for anyone to register if it’s me or not.”

Her best efforts aside, anonymity may be a pipe dream. The show is as decorated as a Christmas tree in a craft store. Game of Thrones has won a Peabody and 47 Emmys, the most of any television drama in history. The show marries critical praise with popular success, then it mercilessly slaughters those who have come to celebrate this union and receives even more acclaim (“The Rains of Castamere,” season 3, episode 9). The plotlines are famously convoluted. Luckily, we have an entire web’s worth of episode explainers, encyclopedias designed specifically for the Westeros universe, and a self-explanatory Funny or Die segment called Gay of Thrones, starring Jonathan van Ness.

When Mad Men first aired, television bloggers dutifully unpacked its symbolic elements, and millennials celebrated the show’s style with Mad Men–themed parties that were really just ’60s-and-one-red-wig-themed parties. Game of Thrones is basically an economy of its own. Since the show premiered, tourism to Croatia, whose coastal port Dubrovnik stands in for the fictional city of King’s Landing, has nearly doubled. Game of Thrones–themed weddings are so popular that it is almost impossible not to attend them — in 2016, Clarke accidentally walked into one that was occurring at the same hotel where she and the cast were staying during filming. (It was not a canonical wedding, and no guests were harmed.)

Game of Thrones has also earned one of the most important pop culture accolades of the century: The attention of Beyoncé Knowles. I believe it is her favorite TV show, and this is why.

Exhibit A: Jay-Z reportedly gave her a prop dragon’s egg from the set, at great personal expense. Exhibit B: At an Oscars after-party this year, Beyoncé approached Clarke (“voluntarily,” according to the actress) to introduce herself. “I watched her face go, ‘Oh, no, I shouldn’t be talking to this crazy [woman], who is essentially crying in front of me,’ ” remembers Clarke. “I think my inner monologue was, ‘Stop fucking it up,’ and I kept fucking it up.”

“I was like, ‘I just saw you in concert.’ And she was like, ‘I know.’ ” Clarke also mentions that Beyoncé complimented her work but declines to share specifics.

Why are people (more specifically, everybody) and goddesses (more specifically, Beyoncé) all obsessed with a show about some dragons and lots of dungeons?

“The show is sensationalist in a way,” Clarke explains, in an effort to describe a TV series that features twins having sex and a child’s defenestration in the very first episode. It doesn’t matter — Clarke’s conversational style is so intimate and emphatic that basic facts feel like sworn secrets. When she smiles, she does so with every single muscle in her face. “It’s the reason why people pick up gossip magazines. They want to know what happens next…. You’ve got a society that is far removed enough from ours but also circulates around power. How that corrupts people and how we want it, and how we don’t want it.”

In other words, Game of Thrones’ value proposition is creating a rich other world for people to experience a prestige, high-production version of pure, horny, violent, unbridled drama. It is, according to Clarke, pitched perfectly: “I think it caught Western society at exactly the right moment.”

“I don’t know about you,” she says, “but when I watch something, it’s escapism. I’m feeling crappy; I’m just sad, moody, depressed, upset, angry, whatever it is. I know that distraction is what makes me get better. Distraction is what really, really helps me.” She laughs and then quickly pivots to a caveat: “I’m sure that’s not what a therapist would advise.”

It is at this point that Emilia Clarke leans in very close, her breath knocking at my sideburn, and explains to me the bombastic and devastating ending to the most important TV show of the decade.

Wow — just kidding once more. But, uh, while we’re on the topic, how is this whole thing going to end?

It was not hard to root for the Breaker of Chains, until recently. Now we’re seeing the gentle unspooling of her character, and flickers of a dangerous prophecy that she will ascend the throne only to follow in her father’s footsteps and burn it all to the ground. For a while, Daenerys seemed like the Lawful Good ruler, but we have had the great pleasure of watching how power can pervert people. (Nate Jones, at Vulture, leads a thrilling discussion of this very topic.) (Also, if Daenerys were to rule the Seven Kingdoms, only to go nuts, we might at the very least have a spinoff to look forward to.)

Clarke will never say. Throughout 10 or so years in the public eye, her interviews have been peppered with the same handful of charming personal details from her career — the service jobs she worked prior to making it, dancing the funky chicken during her Game of Thrones audition — which feels a lot like walking a vast beach and finding the same series of 10 seashells.

Then, in March, some very different treasure washed ashore when The New Yorker ran the most illuminating profile of Emilia Clarke to date. It was written by Emilia Clarke.

If I am truly being honest every minute of every day I thought I was going to die.

In it, Clarke revealed that she had suffered two near-fatal brain aneurysms during the early seasons of Game of Thrones. The first hit her mid-plank during a training session, and not long after, doctors discovered a second that required them to open her skull for a risky operation. The recovery period was, to her, more painful than the aneurysms. “If I am truly being honest,” she wrote, “every minute of every day I thought I was going to die.” She also announced her charity venture, SameYou, which seeks to provide rehabilitation for young people recovering from brain injuries.

The second time we talk, it is the day before the Game of Thrones New York premiere, and Clarke is at a morning fitting, surrounded by a coronation’s worth of gowns. It’s early, and a passing cold has fried the edges of her voice. But her words still vibrate with so much joy, it’s like she doesn’t even notice. She’s just happy to be here, wherever she is.

Source

Emilia Clarke on Why Game of Thrones Is the Perfect Form of Escapism + HQ Scans was originally published on Enchanting Emilia Clarke | Est 2012

[awwishfulthinking]

A Look at Galaxy Angel II/3rd Manga Vol. 5

(tumblr why is your image upload function so weird, you either upload things as a tiny image or blow it up so big that it ruins the quality)

If you want to see more of my posts on this manga series, I’ve tagged them with “galaxy angel 2 manga” on my blog.

DISCLAIMER 1: I do not know Japanese at all so a lot of these “summaries” will be based on info I’ve gathered from the translated volumes that were officially released; as well as the Galaxy Angel fan wikia. I don’t claim any sort of plot accuracy in these posts, I merely wanted to give a brief run-down (as best as I can) of what happens in these volumes.

DISCLAIMER 2: I do not want to scan these volumes for fear of damaging the binding, so I’ve only taken photos. I’m not a professional photographer and don’t have a nice fancy camera so these photos are not so great. Due to my work schedule and life stuff that I need to take care of, I don’t have the time to touch these up beyond resizing and cropping them. Sorry.

~Chapter 21~

Volume 5 opens immediately with yet another video transmission sent out by Forte.

In the video transmission, Forte seems to make a reference to a network of satellites called “crust breaker.” They have enough power to completely destroy whole planets; and was the weapon used to take the planet Seldor hostage.

Nano Nano notices something strange about these video transmissions. If the manga is following the game’s storyline on this particular plot point, Nano realizes that Forte has been changing her words in every transmission. Takuto seems to pick up on this too.

The manga then suddenly switches scenes and the entire Luxiole crew is apparently given a short break to visit some hot springs located within the Luxiole. (Yeah, IDEK)

Tequila decides to make things more interesting and uses her magic to cover the entire area in a magical mist that (I assume) allows the people at the hot springs to see the person or thing they desire most. So Apricot and Kazuya end up seeing each other.

Takuto, predictably, gets to see Milfeulle. I have no idea if these are just illusions, or if Tequila was somehow magically able to teleport people temporarily to this place. Chalk it up to *magic* or something.

(anyway, Takuto’s and Milfeulle’s little reunion scene is the cutest thing and they are my OTP so I am biased)

So Lilly gets to meet with Forte (her mentor), Nano gets to meet Vanilla (who she considers a mom), Anise just gets a whole load of gold and treasure, and Tequila/Kahlua...

Get to meet each other.

The magic eventually fades, but everyone is refreshed afterwards and ready for the battle ahead.

~Chapter 22~

We get a brief flashback at the beginning of this chapter, to a time four years in the past. Milfeulle seems to be telling Apricot about the Absolute and the Central Globe.

There is... a lot of text here so I am not 100% sure about what’s happening. But I think Milfeulle is telling Apricot about how the Absolute and Gates to other galaxies work. Milfeulle so far is the only “Gatekeeper” that has been found, which means she’ll have to reside inside the Central Globe (the structure within the Absolute) for an unspecified amount of time in order to keep the Gate between Eden and Neue open.

Apricot is saddened by this, but Milfeulle accepts her fate with a smile.

Back in the present, the Luxiole has neared the planet Seldor. Kazuya and the other Angels set out in their ships and brace themselves in the battle against Forte’s fleet.

Suddenly, a transmission from Forte herself!

She and Takuto converse for a bit, and then it begins:

A full-on battle of might and wits between Takuto and Forte.

Magiic’s forces are also there to help out in the battle. They are led by Ranpha.

I didn’t explain this very well before (as it was already detailed in the officially translated volume 3), but Forte is only playing the villain here because she has her hands tied (figuratively) by some evil higher-up. This higher-up is threatening both her life and the entire existence of planet Seldor, forcing Forte to lead a coup as successfully as possible (under the higher-up’s orders). Forte’s only aiming for such high success because she doesn’t want there to be any possibility of an uprising or rebellion, which would increase casualties.

So anyway, there’s a big space battle against Forte’s own ships, and the Angel-tai are unusually absent from the fighting. But suddenly, they reappear to take out the crust breaker satellites encircling planet Seldor. Forte’s transmissions from before held hidden hints about the locations of these satellites. While Magiic’s fleet was holding off Forte’s forces, the Angel-tai members were working in the background to get close enough to take out the crust breakers.

One of the subordinates of the villain (behind this entire ploy) threatens Forte with a gun once he realizes that Forte was planning for these series of events to happen from the start.

but she’s just like “whatever”

Forte, however, appears to have something else up her sleeve (including a possible escape route).

Anyway, I love Forte, she’s a BAMF

~Chapter 23~

With the crust breakers destroyed, and Forte no longer playing along with his “game,” the main villain reveals his ship and himself to the Luxiole crew.

((I consult the GA fanwikia quite a bit for these next few sections))

Main villain dude is named Verel and he is an alien (he has some sort of wings on his back).

He shows the Luxiole crew a video transmission of himself and Milfeulle, who has apparently been put to sleep. Verel then embarks on a long, villainous monologue where he explains how he’s the last of his kind; and his kind were the original administrators of the Central Core; thus the Central Core and the Absolute belong to him. His desire to stage a coup on all of Neue was really just a part of his bigger plan to acquire the Absolute and become it’s sole ruler.

Takuto calmly asks about Milfeulle and Verel reassures everyone that Milfeulle is still alive and healthy (just asleep for the time being). He then rips a piece of her clothing I guess as a taunt or a threat.

Takuto gets MAD.

Verel then promptly flees, but not without causing some more ship carnage on his way out.

In the meantime, Forte has managed to escape her flagship by using a smaller vessel and is picked up by the Luxiole. There’s a happy reunion with every member of the Angel-tai. (...Except Anise, who has never officially met Forte until now.)

Takuto also personally arrives at the hangar to greet Forte, and there’s a really cute reunion scene.

Afterwards, Takuto calls a big meeting with the Angel-tai, so that he can explain some things.

Before the next big (and potentially final) battle, Takuto allows everyone to take a vacation on a nearby resort planet to rest up. And beach shenanigans ensue.

~Chapter 24~

These next few chapters basically play out like some sort of extended Beach Episode that shows up in a lot of anime, and I am pretty disappointed that this entire segment takes up so much of volume 5 (nearly half the book). These “beach chapters” do attempt to develop the main cast somewhat... but I can’t help but feel that it’s mostly an excuse to have the main girls be in bikinis and for there to be a lot of fanservicey moments.

Anyway...

Chapter 24 opens up with Apricot being suddenly afraid of Kazuya--most likely due to her developing romantic feelings towards him, as well as his swimwear making it more obvious that he’s male.

Some really dumb stuff happens that I don’t want to detail here, but it ends with Kazuya being punched into the sky by Apricot. We then get to see Forte and Ranpha having a convo about... something. (Probably catching up on things since they’ve been separated due to their work)

The other Angel-tai members eventually find out that Apricot’s suddenly real scared of Kazuya. Tequila tries to “help” again using her magic... to turn everyone into mermaids. Except Kazuya, who gets turned into some kind of pufferfish instead.

While in pufferfish form, Kazuya no longer scares Apricot and she’s really happy about this.

BUT SUDDENLY sharks appear and start chasing/attacking the Angel-tai. Apricot and Kazuya get separated from everyone else.

~Chapter 25~

While Apricot and Kazuya are lost at sea (still in their mermaid and fish forms), they’re discovered by a pod of dolphins and are led to some underwater ruins. Unfortunately, the ruins lie on top of a giant whale, which promptly swallows Apricot and Kazuya.

Apricot and (a human) Kazuya reawaken to find themselves on a little island inside of the whale’s stomach. And Tequila is also there... somehow.

The trio quickly find a way to escape, but Tequila notices that Apricot is still utterly afraid of Kazuya and can’t even bear to touch him. So Tequila gets the bright idea to turn Kazuya into a girl (temporarily).

Apricot takes this turn of events... uh. Badly.

Apricot and the now female Kazuya reunite with the rest of the Angel-tai... and they all marvel over/envy Kazuya’s new body.

I have no idea what happens in the next few pages, but Apricot seems to sort of get over her fear of (male) Kazuya by realizing that... there are other men way manlier than Kazuya is, and they scare her far more than Kazuya (with his boyish looks) does.

Uh. Yeah. *shoulder shrug*

~Chapter 26~

We then have a scene change to a later point in time, where Kazuya and Lily are having a secret training session.

All the other Angels are trying the enjoy the rest of their vacation in a relaxed manner.

(I mainly just took this photo because I love Tequila’s and Anise’s outfits and hairstyles.)

No one knows exactly what this “training session” entails. Apricot tries to play it cool and claims that she’s not bothered by it, but she seems spacier than usual...

The Angel-tai’s vacation finally ends. The Luxiole begins heading for the Gate to the Absolute. Some of Verel’s forces are stationed near this area.

Before another big battle, it’s revealed that Kazuya still has dreams about Mimoza. The two have become linked in some way--possibly through Kazuya’s ship, the Braveheart.

The battle against Verel’s fleet begins, and the Angel-tai fly out in their respective ships.

Lily asks Kazuya to merge the Braveheart with her Emblem Frame, the Eagle Gazer. Unexpectedly, Lily then completely blindfolds herself, to the shock of her teammates. She reveals that the “training” she underwent with Kazuya was basically to increase their trust in each other. By smashing watermelons (whilst blindfolded) with a stick, with only Kazuya to guide her; Lily and Kazuya are now able to work in perfect sync.

Or something like that.

Anyway this “training montage” panel is hilarious.

Lily’s completely insane strategy somehow works, and Lily and Kazuya quickly decimate Verel’s forces; clearing a path to the Gate.

Unfortunately, Kazuya and co. can’t celebrate yet; as more of Verel’s forces suddenly emerge from the Gate itself. Verel also apparently seals off the Gate itself, closing the entrance to the Absolute, where the Central Core and Milfeulle reside...

Volume 5 ends here.

Bonus pictures:

At the very end of the manga, we get a rare drawing from Kanan featuring Lester! (He almost looks like a completely different person without his signature eyepatch...)

There’s also a similar drawing featuring Takuto, but my photo of it was bad. So have a photo I found of it somewhere on tumblr instead.

My book also came with a mini postcard thingie. I think it was a bonus for people who bought the volume on release day? It features Lily, Apricot, and Mimolette (drawn by Kanan) and it’s pretty cute.

See y’all next time in the FINAL VOLUME!

[thekidultlife]

Oppa-ya | Jihoon Idol!Au | Part 2

Genre: Fluff, angst

Chapters: Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

By some chance, the next Vlive with Seungkwan and Hoshi invited you and Jihoon. They explained it was some sort of new gimmick where they would bring in other Pledis artists and you shrugged it off like “Sure, why not?” But deep inside, you had this long suspicion that Seungkwan will corner you today since he was so adamant in knowing who it was that you liked.

You and Leigh (who wanted to watch you so eagerly for some reason) arrived at the set (which was basically just the lobby of Pledis) and saw that Seungkwan and Hoshi were there early, going over the script so that they wouldn’t do or say anything inappropriate. Being the diligent idol that you are, you approached them and asked if there was something you needed to be aware of before the live started and they were nice enough to tell you about the different corners which will be shown later and plan how everything would flow.

As Jihoon arrived a little late—clearly from his personal studio—the staff and the managers all began to move to immediately start the Vlive as Seungkwan and Hoshi seated themselves in front of the cameras. Like the Andromeda Broadcasts you used to watch, Seungkwan and Hoshi began their usual shenanigans and would often delay the flow of the show but eventually though, you and Jihoon’s cue was up.

“Ah, Seungkwannie! Have you heard that we’ve started to invite other idols here in Andromeda?” Hoshi began with a playful expression forming on his face.

“Really? It’s our first time inviting someone outside of Seventeen! Are you all excited?” Seungkwan replied earnestly as he looked over at the phone Hoshi was holding to read the comments. “Ah, look. They’re all guessing who it is!”

“No, no!” Hoshi was chuckling. “It’s not the NU’EST hyungs today—”

“We’ll see them in another broadcast, right?” Seungkwan piped in with a nod.

“Right!” Hoshi was laughing again, clearly excited. “They’re all saying Monsta X! Ok! Hint! One of our guests today is a girl from a girl group!”

“Of course she’s from a girl group! Are there boys in a girl group, ha ­hyung?!” Seungkwan said in annoyance as he grabbed the toy hammer and lightly hit Hoshi’s head who only grinned.

“Well, there—there are now groups with both girls and boys in it!” Hoshi defended himself but Seungkwan simply ignored him and proceeded to continue the broadcast.

“Alright! Let’s hurry up and introduce them! Our guests for today are—Seventeen’s Woozi and YG/N’s Y/N! Come on out!”

You and Jihoon slowly entered the frame—you with a little smile while Jihoon looked kind of done with Seungkwan and Hoshi’s shit. Seungkwan suddenly sat up and offered you his seat as Hoshi moved his chair to the side so that Jihoon would sit beside you, without much choice. So basically, you and Jihoon were at the center while the two hosts were at the sides with zealous expressions on their faces.

You were fast to catch up to these subtle gestures that you eyed Seungkwan beside you, who only gave you a shrug.

“Ah why don’t you introduce yourselves?” Seungkwan suggested to get away from your judging eyes. For the chicken, for the chicken, for the chicken.

You began to introduce yourself; averting your gaze from Seungkwan who covertly exhaled a sigh of relief as Jihoon who was seated beside you also introduced himself.

“Wow. A lot of comments are coming in!” Hoshi glanced at the phone he was holding. “They’re all excited to see Y/N!”

Seungkwan laughed at that one comment he saw. “’Jihoon-oppa and Y/N-unnie look great together!’ They do, right?”

As you heard his words, you shot him a glare, disguised with a small unamused smile. Jihoon, on the other hand, was laughing at how Seungkwan was looking warily at you.

“Anyway, we heard that YG/N just got from their first world tour,” Hoshi began as he gave you a questioning glance and you nodded in acknowledgement.

“Ah, we did. It was really fun to go to different countries. I personally had fun visiting tourist sites and exploring the cities,” you replied with a bright smile.

“You guys went to Europe, right?” Seungkwan asked with a little pout. “I wish we would go there in the future!”

“Oh, you’re the type to go look around?” Jihoon asked you suddenly. “You never striked me as one who would enjoy that.”

“It actually depends on my mood. If I’m bored, I’ll probably look around,” you laughed as you answered him.

“Woozi doesn’t really go out when we would go on tours. He just stays in the hotel,” Hoshi interrupted with a grin.

“Ah that’s right. He never goes out. He just stays in bed all day,” Seungkwan added.

“Well, I might do the same. Sometimes, going out is just too…tiring. You guys are just so energetic,” you told them as your voice trailed off to find the right word.

“Right? Staying indoors is much better for people like us,” Jihoon remarked with a chuckle as he looked at your direction, infecting you with his contagious smile.

Seungkwan had sensed the approaching dead air and professionally congratulated your group on wrapping up your first world tour successfully. You gave him a warm smile and a thank you before the broadcast finally moved on to the first corner of the show.

“Carats who have seen our first Andromeda shows know this special corner! Do you know what it is Seungkwannie?” Hoshi introduced the segment enthusiastically that you yourself was hyped by his energy—grinning and clapping along the way.

“Of course! It’s the speed speed speed Woozi Y/N’speed quiz!” Seungkwan began singing with Hoshi in perfect harmony as you were laughing hard at the side; hiding behind Seungkwan’s shoulder.

“Woozi was really good at this last time! He hardly ever got hit!” Hoshi remarked as Jihoon looked at him with a tiny smile on his lips.

“Oh I’ve seen that episode!” you said abruptly with an excited expression, totally comfortable with the broadcast but the three men around you simply raised their brows.

“You did? That was like a long time ago,” Jihoon was the first to react.

“Well yeah…anyway, how does this game work?” you immediately changed topics upon realizing what you had almost revealed and thankfully, they didn’t push the issue any further.

“So basically, we’ll ask the viewers for questions to ask you and you have to answer them as fast as you can. If you can’t answer right away, you’ll get hit by this,” Seungkwan explained to you the mechanics of the game as he showed you the toy hammer. “You can’t also say ‘I don’t know’ more than twice.”

“Oh ok ,ok,” you replied with a nod as you pretended that you didn’t know about how the quiz worked and proceeded with preparing yourself for the questions to be asked.

“Since Y/N is the special guest, let’s ask her first. Ok?” Hoshi led the first round of the quiz as Seungkwan held the toy hammer on top of your head. “Alright, everyone! Comment in your questions for Y/N in three, two, one…go!”

In a matter of a few seconds, Hoshi began to read the questions coming in for you.

“Favorite milk tea flavor?”

“Jasmine.”

“A good singer?”

“Ah, there’s a lot.”

“Will you marry me?”

“Sure, why not?”

“Let’s go on a date?”

“Let’s go.”

“Tall or short guy?”

“Both!”

“Ideal type?”

“Someone smart and a good talker.”

 “Do you like Seventeen?”

“I love them!”

 “Favorite Seventeen member?”

“All of them actually.”

 “Favorite Seventeen song?”

“Pretty U and Clap.”

 “Do aegyo with Woozi?”

“Sure, if he doesn’t destroy the world first.” Seungkwan began laughing while Jihoon glared at him.

 “Seungkwan or Hoshi?”

“Hoshi-oppa.”

“Hey! We just hung out last Saturday!” Seungkwan interrupted as you were smirking at the camera.

“Hoshi or Woozi?”

“Um, wait—ow! I won’t sing karaoke with you anymore Seungkwan!”

 “Your idol crush?”

“No way! I can’t answer—ah! Seungkwan-ah!”

 “Do you like working with Woozi-oppa?”

“Yeah, I love working with him.” You silently thanked the viewer who asked you that question.

 “Pick a boyfriend: Seungkwan, Hoshi or Woozi?”

“I swear if it’s you Hanna I’m—ahh!”

 “Alright, let’s stop here!” Seungkwan struggled to utter the words though since he was laughing so hard at you that he had almost rolled on the floor while Jihoon laughed hysterically with him as well; clapping his hands.

When you were finally done with the game, you grabbed the toy hammer from Seungkwan’s grasps and threatened to hit him hard if he doesn’t stop laughing. As everyone recovered from their laughing fit, Seungkwan cleared his throat and continued with the broadcast.

“Earlier you said your ideal type is someone smart and a good talker?” he asked you who was still annoyed at him.

“But someone smart is really attractive though? And if he’s good at making a conversation too then wouldn’t that be interesting as well?” you replied with a questioning gaze at Seungkwan.

“Girls these days are really practical…” Hoshi remarked.

“Yeah, so you better start studying,” Jihoon added with a shit-eating grin that the three of you immediately hollered while Hoshi was hitting Jihoon playfully.

“Ah, speaking of a smart guy and a good talker, aren’t you describing Woozi-hyung?” Seungkwan interjected, earning a deadly threatening smile from you.

“You’re right! Our Jihoonie is a genius composer! Plus, he has a way with words,” Hoshi further inserted, digging you into a much deeper hole.

“No, no! It’s not like that!” Jihoon denied as he made an embarrassed laugh; his ears going red. “Tell me! If you’re a girl would you even date me?”

“I would,” you suddenly interrupted that everyone became silent and looked at you with a mildly surprised expression.

Your heartbeat raced as you realized what you just did and hurriedly tried to cover up your mistake. “I-I mean who wouldn’t? A lot of Carats like Jihoon-oppa so of course, they would want to date him. He’s really cool and he’s really fun to be with!”

“Alright, Seungkwan. Spill it.”

Right after the broadcast, you dragged Seungkwan down to one of the empty hallways in Pledis as you trapped him to the wall with your angry gaze.

“Spill what?? Honestly, you and Woozi-hyung are scary!” Seungkwan replied with a little quiver in his voice.

“Leigh told you who I liked, didn’t she?” you asked with impatience in your tone.

“Well…yeah, I—”

“Jesus. She’d better treat me later.”

“What is the deal with the two of you anyway?”

“With who?”

“Woozi-hyung, of course! Why couldn’t you just tell him you like him?”

You rolled your eyes at Seungkwan.

“We’re not a match made in heaven, okay? We’ll just fight if we dated,” you confessed with a bitter tone, looking at the ground as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“Ah, honestly this girl. How would you know? You couldn’t even confess!” Seungkwan groaned at you in exasperation.

“I just know! His personality and mine don’t match at all! We’re fire and fire and we’ll just burn each other out!”

“Wow, that’s really poetic—”

“That’s not the point here. I don’t want to hurt myself and more importantly, I don’t want to hurt him. Plus, we’re always so busy with work that I don’t really know if it’ll work out. Most celebrity couples break up within months but I don’t want that to happen but judging from the way things are, it will happen!”

Seungkwan placed a comforting hand on your shoulder as he tried to settle your haywire emotions.

“Alright, Y/N. Calm down. Honestly, you are going to regret this in the future and I will not let that happen. You are going to confess to Woozi-hyung and I will convince you no matter how stubborn you are.”

“You can’t convince me,” you declared back at him with a challenging look.

“I can make Woozi-hyung do aegyo, do you think I can’t make you confess?” Seungkwan said to you before he left the hallway. “For the chicken.”

10 minutes earlier

“Alright, Seungkwan. Tell me what happened in that broadcast.”

Jihoon cornered Seungkwan with the same ferocity as yours at the men’s comfort room where he immediately escaped to after.

“What? What are you talking about, hyung?” Seungkwan replied with knitted eyebrows.

“Why were you teasing Y/N and me? I thought the deal was figuring out who she likes!” Jihoon glared at Seungkwan that the younger felt like running away, only if Jihoon wasn’t ready to run after him with his guitar.

“Ah that…yeah…I forgot,” Seungkwan added with a scratch on the back of his head. I can’t tell what I know.

“You better work on your part or I’ll call off the deal.”

“Don’t worry, hyung. I have another plan.”

“You better,” Jihoon gave one more deadly glance before he went ahead to the recording room as Seungkwan finally heaved a relieved sigh.

“For the chicken.”

-Admin Hyeri

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

11 podcasts to listen to if you want to laugh your ass off

Life is hard. The news is stressful. And sometimes you just need a break from *gestures broadly at everything happening in the world right now.* .

Fortunately for anyone looking for a bit of escapism of the madness of everyday life, we have two words for you: comedy podcasts.

While there are heavy-hitter comedy shows like The Nerdist, Comedy Bang Bang, and WTF With Marc Maron, there are also a plethora of other podcasts that will help you digest what's happening in the world, expose the absurdity what's happening in the news and pop culture, and ultimately leave you in fits of laughter.

SEE ALSO: Here are 5 unrealistic things that happen in every romantic comedy

Some of these shows cover current events and some of them will give you (extremely dubious) advice, but no matter what, these 11 podcasts that will make you laugh your ass off.

1. My Dad Wrote A Porno

My Dad Wrote A Porno has a purely descriptive title: host Jaime Morton discovered that his dad had a secret hobby of writing erotica. So Morton did what any person would do: read it out loud and broadcast it to the world.

In addition to reading from his dad's book, Morton is joined by two friends — James Cooper and Alice Levine — who deconstruct what happens in each chapter, switching between hysterically laughing at some of the more absurd sections of the book to deadpan analysis of our protagonist Belinda Blumenthal and her adventures.

Tl;dr, it's very awkward and very NSFW podcast about what happens when you discover the sexual fantasy of your parents. How can you not laugh at that?!

(Author's note: This podcast literally had me cackling in the street while listening. Sorry to the Brooklynites that I scared with my sudden outbursts.)

Episode to start with: "The Job Interview"

2. Keep It

Crooked Media may have launched with a slew of politics shows, most notably Pod Save America, but if you're not listening to the network's pop culture show Keep It, you're truly missing out.

Hosted by journalist Ira Madison III, who is often joined by Kara Brown and Louis Virtel, the show is a weekly discussion podcast that breaks down what's happening in the entertainment world.

The title comes from Madison's Twitter catchphrase "keep it," which is the two-word clap back Madison uses to shut down the trash news that comes through his Twitter feed. But what makes the show especially good is the extreme amount of chemistry between the panelists as they provide pop culture analysis that's simultaneously thoughtful, brutal, and hilarious.

Episode to start with: They Cancel Roseannes, Don't They?

3. Baby-Sitters Club Club

Aaaaahhh remember the Baby-Sitters Club, that classic '80s and '90s children's book series about a group of babysitters who are just trying to earn a buck while also dealing with the challenges of growing up. Well, have you read those books again recently, as an adult?

Hosts Jack Sheppard and Tanner Greenring have, and wow, those books are nothing like you remember. 

Each week in The Baby-Sitters Club Club, Shepherd and Greenring read one of Ann M. Martin's classic novels, and deconstruct it. But what makes the show so hilarious are the many theories that Shepherd and Greenring generate about what's actually going on in the town of Stoneybrook. Is the Baby-Sitters Club marxist? And are the characters secretly in a parallel universe that's actually a beehive? Who knows, but after listening to this podcast, you won't be able to read The Baby-Sitters Club the same way again.

Episode to start with: Kristy's Great Idea

4. Judge John Hodgman

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball, and you just need a little bit of advice. And that's where Judge John Hodgman comes in.

In the podcast, comedian John Hodgman (who you may know as PC from those early aughts Mac vs. PC commercials) arbitrates the petty grievances that crop of in our day to day lives.

Whether he's deciding if a wife should be freed of her lifelong agreement to let her husband order the toppings of the pizzas they order or whether it's okay to meditate at work, Hodgman delivers very serious rulings to very absurd debates that'll leave you in stitches.

Episode to start with: Pizza Parley

5. Lovett or Leave It

Sometimes the best way to deal with news is to laugh at it, and for anyone who wants to poke fun at current events, there's Lovett or Leave It. Each week, host Jon Lovett is joined by comedians, journalists, and more to "deal with whatever bullshit came flying over the transom in our broken, insane political nightmare factory."

Episodes are recorded live in front of an audience and include a mixture of discussions, pop quizzes, and games, which means you'll be just as informed as you are entertained.

Episode to start with: Rudy Giuliani, Esquire

6. The Read

You know those conversations with your best friend that get crazy because you hold absolutely nothing back. That's exactly what The Read is.

The show is a pop culture podcast hosted by friends Kid Fury and Crissle. Each episode is composed of a few segments: "black excellence" (where the hosts shout out good news that's happening to the black community), "hot topics" (which is a discussion of what's happening in the pop culture), "listener letters" (where Kid Fury and Crissle give advice to people who write in), and the titular segment "the read" (where the hosts each rant about something that's weighing on their hearts).

But what makes the podcast so funny is that Kid Fury and Crissle will drag literally anything and everything. Passionate and irreverent, listening to The Read feels like hanging out with your friends.

 Episode to start with: Beychella

7. How Did This Get Made

Have you ever watched a movie that's so bad that you asked yourself "how the hell is this even real?!" If so, you're not alone because that is the exact subject of How Did This Get Made.

Each week, actors Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, and Jason Mantzoukas watch movies that are so bad they're amazing and talk about it. And you know that feeling you get when you watch an objectively bad movie and just spend the entire time making fun of it with your friends. That's exactly what this podcast is, for 189 episodes and counting.

Episode to start with: Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

8. All Fantasy Everything

You've heard of fantasy football. Maybe even fantasy The Bachelor and fantasy RuPaul's Drag Race. But have you heard about a fantasy breakfast food draft? Or a fantasy "Mike" draft (you know, who's the best person named Mike). 

Enter All Fantasy Everything. As the name implies, the show makes a fantasy drafts out of, well, everything. Then, host Ian Karmel along with a rotating cast of guests debate each topic until a champion is crowned.

Episodes are ridiculous, unexpected, and sure to make you laugh.

Episode to start with: Fictional Detectives

9. 2 Dope Queens

If you've ever wanted to see a comedy show but don't have the time to go in person, we have three words for you: 2 Dope Queens.

The show is part standup set, part discussion podcast hosted by comedians Phoebe Robinson and Jessica Williams. In each episode the duo talk about everything from online dating to the tiny house trend, which means conversations are always fun and varied. Additionally, episodes are recorded live, giving each discussion a performative flair that'll make you feel like you're carrying around a comedy club in your pocket as you listen. 

Episode to start with: Sitting Too Close to Queen Latifah

10. Dear Hank and John

If you're a human on the internet, you probably know John Green and Hank Green, the brother duo that helped shape the YouTube world with their vlog series The Vlog Brothers. And then by launching VidCon. And then with John's hit novels The Fault In Our Stars, Turtles All The Way Down, Looking For Alaska, and more.

But did you know that the duo also has a podcast too? And it's freaking hilarious.

Dear Hank and John is an advice podcast where Hank and John attempt to answer your most absurd questions, like "what are the rules of doctor-patient small talk" and "what do I do with 23 plastic molds of my teeth." In addition those bigger advice segments, the show is chock-full of jokes hiding everywhere from their intro where they announce "the elephant in the room" to phrase of the week where each brother is challenged to sneak a phrase recommended by a listener into their conversation without the other brother noticing, which means whether you're a new listener or an old fan, you'll still find something fresh and new in each episode.

Episode to start with: Eleven Peas

11. Thirst Aid Kit

Listen, we all thirst. It's human. It's natural. And it's the topic of writer Bim Adewunmi and Nicole Perkins' show Thirst Aid Kit. 

Thirst Aid Kit is a weekly about your love, sex, and your favorite celebrity boo thangs. The podcast is unapologetically filthy, as the hosts talk about your crushes, read fan-fiction, and in general, share the thirst that we all know and feel.

Episode to start with: We Learned to Spell Jake Gyllenhaal

WATCH: Here are some things you didn't know about "Super Troopers"

[wordsinwinters]

Then Again, P3 Peter Parker x Reader

Author’s Note: Thank you again to everyone who liked Part 1 and Part 2! Each notification I get makes me embarrassingly happy - it really means a lot. I appreciate your notes more than I can say! (and if you want to leave a review, that’s super appreciated as well!)

About the story: I am so excited for the next chapter update! It’s awful writing Peter being as rude as he seems during this section, but upcoming chapters will fluctuate between his P.O.V. and the reader’s. Hopefully, that’ll clear things up and he'll seem more in character. I really love writing his chapters, they’re my favorites.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11

Anyway, here we go!

Then Again, Part 3:

(Word count: 1,813)

Aside from Peter’s obtrusive moodiness, the dinner ends up better than I imagined. We try to avoid too much debating - to save our brainpower for the coming tournament... and, though no one says it, to avoid being kicked out of the restaurant because Peter was getting way too loud while arguing with Flash.

Instead, we go a different route. We breathe life back into a handful of school memories, the kind I hope we always remember, even when we’re eighty. A personal favorite of mine is the time the captain of our baseball team misheard “shoe string” as “g-string” during the “Lost and Found” pep assembly game and, without hesitation, reached into his pocket and threw one down to Mr. Harrington (whose face was appropriately horrified). Or, a favorite of everyone’s, the time Abe spilled saline on Flash in Chemistry. Most of us were there when Flash pulled the emergency shower and started stripping in the middle of class because he assumed the liquid was acid and Abe was laughing too hard to tell him otherwise.

“Seriously? That’s so old!” (It was only two months ago.) Flash can’t let that story slip without protesting, yet he has to force his own laughter down. His mouth might be running, but I can tell he’s mostly amused, partly embarrassed. For once, he doesn’t seem like such an asshole. “And you shouldn’t laugh, Y/N, given what you did in first grade!”

I raise an eyebrow.

“Me? What about first grade?” I ask. He raises an eyebrow back to me as I squint, trying to recall. After a long pause, I remember. “Oh.... That about first grade.”

Of course he remembers. My face is changing colors, I know it is.

“Are you blushing?” Ned asks, astonished and intrigued.

I try to stifle the laughter rising in my throat. It bursts out anyway. I really can’t believe I forgot about this. If Flash hadn’t mentioned it, maybe by the grace of God, it would never have crossed my mind again. Damn you, Flash.

Peter shifts in his seat. His arm brushes mine as Flash begins to boast; he pulls it back. It makes me jump, just barely, from the warmth.

“Miss Goodie Goodie Two Shoes dragged me,” Flash says, “an innocent young boy, under the slide - during recess - to kiss me. And boy did she.”

Flash leans back in his chair, arms crossed, with an I won smirk that he directs at me, then Peter.

Screw you, Flash.

“You did not,” Michelle says in disbelief. “You kissed Flash?! And never mentioned it?”

“Hold on!” I say. Side conversations have halted for this piece of old gossip and there is no way Flash gets to bring me that low with something from a decade ago. “Back then, he was little, brainy Genie. And to be fair, he had a gumball machine delivered to my house. Yeah, Flash, don’t think I won’t bring up the fact you liked me, not the other way around. I assumed he was a rich prince and that if I kissed him, he would turn into a frog and I could steal his money from his locker and his desk. It wasn’t like I got naked in front of twenty-eight students and my teacher two months ago!”

“That’s so not how the fairytales go, Y/N,” Ned mutters. “Was your childhood okay?”

“You thought he was a frog?” Peter asks, speaking to me for the first time tonight. He crosses his arms.

“Yes, Peter Parker. I thought I could rob a magic frog prince. It borders on childhood criminal fantasy, but the point is: I was a child. You can’t make fun of me for something I did at six years old.”

“Oh, really? And what does frog taste like?”

His shoulder nudges mine as he leans in close, his eyes flickering to my lips for emphasis. My heartbeat is pulsing at the tips of my ears. I untuck my hair from them in case they turn red. I never thought he would look at me like this. Even if that look is for the wrong reason, it’s like a finger curling around my collar bone building pressure as it pulls downward. My breathing verges on painful.

What was the kiss like?

I pause.

“Dirt,” I say. Make this funny again. “Even as I dragged him to the slide, his hands were stuffing his mouth with dirt.”

Laughter erupts again. Thank God. Soon, Abe is almost in tears over it, clapping Flash on the back as Flash stammers to defend his choice of lunch ten years ago.

Peter goes silent again, eyes on the floor. Against my will, I can picture a tiny Peter Parker sulking inside my brain picking at the loose threads of my mental Perfect Day tapestry. My optimism is coming completely undone. Frustration or anxiety or both are pushing me off of my little “today” high.

We exit the restaurant at 10:27. Goodbyes and “See you in the morning!”’s pass between everyone in a jumble of half-conversations. I eavesdrop on Ned and Betty, both leaning against the window, cloaked in neon red glow with taxi headlights gliding over their kneecaps.

“So lame that Mr. Harrington won’t let us bring non-team members,” Ned’s saying. “He’s always being such a stick in the mud. Somebody should just... I don’t know.” He stumbles for words. “Like, kill him or something.”

Betty lets out an awkward chuckle.

“You know,” he hurries, “as, like, a prank.”

She snorts, covering her mouth as she doubles over.

“Totally. I’ll write the Morning Announcement piece on it and everything. See you in Psych in a few days?”

“Yeah! If I’m not in jail for murder, you know?”

Now they’re both laughing. Little stars of excitement bloom in my chest. I’m so glad Betty came. I’m thinking about all the future excuses I can muster up to force them to work with one another in class. My daydream dissolves as Michelle hip checks me back into the present.

“I hope you’re ready to lose a seventh hour buddy,” she whispers.

“Nah. I’ll stay on that love train as a third wheel. Gotta make sure the conductor doesn’t wreck it.”

“Trains have like, 8 wheels per segment.”

“Per car, you mean.”

“Exactly. I think Ned can handle it.”

“This must be a new record for us derailing a metaphor because I don’t follow the tracks you’re laying down.”

“Those are terrible puns and you know it.”

I shake my head and roll my eyes. The phrase I love my friends should be etched into the bone of each of my ribs. The phrase repeats itself so often in my head I like to visualize it that way.

As Cindy, Abe, Sally, and Betty wave goodbye, I turn to Ned. He’s waving back at them, a grin sprawled across his face. Eventually I catch his eye and smirk.

“You saw what you saw,” he mouths, jerking his head slightly to where Betty had been standing and giving me his best “cool guy” attitude.

Before I can respond, Flash finishes his conversation with Peter (which... though tense, didn’t seem hostile for once), and addresses the remaining four of us.

“You know, I thought this dinner thing was a joke at first, but it was actually... not the worse idea in the history of Midtown Tech. It gets an official Flash rating of Not Totally Lame.”

Michelle raises her eyebrows. Ned and Peter look vaguely annoyed. Personally, I’m not that surprised. (I’m kind of surprised - that he vocalized it.)

“You’re wel-”

“Yeah, dude, well, you were only invited a few hours ago,” Peter says. He scratches the bridge of his nose and rubs his eyebrow before making eye contact with Flash again. “And the rest of us planned this last month. Like, ages ago.”

Everyone freezes.

“Cool,” Flash says. “Bye guys. Fuck you, Penis Parker.”

Peter doesn’t speak a word as we walk back to his and May’s apartment. His behavior is so foreign, so drastically cold even compared to how he’s been all week, that Ned, Michelle, and I keep our mouths shut too. Until we reach the door.

Peter unlocks it and turns around.

“You guys staying here tonight?”

“Yeah,” says Ned with the tone of obviously.

“Do you want us to go home?” I ask.

He looks at the ground as he shrugs. He seems almost as shy as the first time I met him, years ago.

What is going on in Spider Town?

“Just thought you guys might sleep better in beds. I know that couch sucks.”

“The couch is fine,” I say, wondering if he needs the reassurance of us wanting to be there. “MJ is what sucks. She pushed me off in her sleep half a dozen times. This time, she gets to sleep on the edge.”

Michelle nods. “But if you try to spoon me even once, I’m going to roll over and crush you.”

Peter stops listening and pushes the door open.

I fight the urge to kick at his heel while I follow. Peter Parker has always been the sweetest person in this city. Right now, though, he’s genuinely pissing me off. He’s acted worse than Flash has tonight, completely unlike himself. If anything, he’s making Flash look like a better friend.

After faces are washed, teeth brushed, and retainers stuck into place (everyone but Michelle - her teeth are naturally perfect), we turn off the lights and head to our usual sleeping stations. Michelle and I on the couch, Peter and Ned in the bunk beds. I lie on the couch for fifteen minutes, itching my index finger.

“Hey, I’ll be right back. Don’t steal my spot.”

Because of my retainers, it sounds more like, “Don’t thteal my thpot.” I take them out.

Maybe I can end this on a good note.

I stumble in the dark for a few steps until I find the hallway with my hands. I reach Peter’s door and turn the knob. A quiet conversation stops.

“Ned,” I whisper from the doorway. “Before I go to bed, I just need to clarify: if you do murder Mr. Harrington, legally I’ll have to testify against you. And I don’t want to see you behind bars. Try a different way to impress her, maybe?”

“Oh my goddd,” Ned groans. “I.... I still have no idea why I said that.”

I imagine Peter smiling on his bunk. He probably isn’t. If he were in a good mood, he would laugh and ask what we were talking about. If he were in a better mood at all, he would know by now.

“I know,” I say. “Goodnight!”

As I pop back out of the room, I hear Ned’s reply and Peter’s quiet, “Yeah.”

Who says “Yeah” to a “Goodnight”?

Peter Parker, apparently.

Tomorrow, I’m either going to hug him or kill him.

Part 4

Next update: Saturday 7. 

Or Friday 6 - whichever day you guys prefer.

I hope you guys enjoyed this! Let me know what you think!

P.S. I apologize for my awful frog jokes in P2 and P3.

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 29 January 2018

Quick Bits:

Avengers #678 is more gorgeous artwork from Pepe Larraz and David Curiel. The intrigue and mystery to the story is also being teased out a bit more, just enough internal questions about Voyager and Grandmaster’s opponent to keep you hooked amidst some all out action between the Avengers, Black Order, and Lethal Legion.

| Published by Marvel

Black Crown Quarterly #2 adds some more comic previews, interviews, and various odds & sods to the mix. Rob Davis’ Tales from the Black Crown Pub remains the best thing about the anthology, but the Cüd comic is growing on me. It’s nice to see James Coe’s Bandtwits continue here, it was one segment I was expecting to see spun out to its own comic. Also, House Amok by Christopher Sebela and Shawn McManus is deliciously twisted.

| Published by IDW / Black Crown

Bonehead #2 puts a lot more meat on the bones of this series. Where the first issue was largely a beautiful showcase for Rhoald Marcellius and Sakti Yuwono’s art, this time Bryan Edward Hill dives into more of the world and what’s going on with “56″. It’s an interesting approach with what amounts to parkour gangs in what looks like an increasingly oppressive society, reminding me somewhat of Mirror’s Edge.

| Published by Image / Top Cow - Glitch

The Despicable Deadpool #293 reinforces the idea that we’re seeing Deadpool’s end of days (the writing on the wall that this arc is called “Bucket List” and we already know this incarnation of his adventures is ending at #300 notwithstanding), as the issue long fight with Rogue underlines Wade’s self-destruction and deliberate alienation of his friends and family.

| Published by Marvel

Eternity #4 brings the latest Divinity story to a close, kind of, as Matt Kindt dives deep into a meta narrative of construction, conception, and delivery of story and ideas. Trevor Hairsine, Ryan Winn, and David Baron also raise the bar with the execution of some of the glorious story ideas presented here.

| Published by Valiant

God Complex: Dogma #4 remakes Seneca, giving us a look deeper into the gods’ technology and adherence to mathematical projections for behaviour as “fate”. It also gives Hendry Prasetya and Sunny Gho a chance to show off again, delivering some beautiful artwork as it shifts between Hephaestus trying to save Seneca within the digital framework and the grit and blood of attempting to save him on the physical plane.

| Published by Image / Top Cow - Glitch

Hack/Slash: Resurrection #4 is messed up. This, of course, is a good thing as Tini Howard continues with the humour of Cassie’s relationship with Laurie and adding an interesting possible wrinkle to series’ mythology.

| Published by Image

Hungry Ghosts #1 is the start of an anthology series of food-themed horror stories with the overall narrative being linked through a game of kaidan (some would also know it as kwaidan)--basically a party game wherein participants tell one another ghost stories and then see whether or not they’ve been possessed in a mirror once they’re done--written by Anthony Bourdain and Joel Rose, and illustrated by an assortment of artists. 

This first issue sets up the rules, the framing narrative, and a couple of stories. It’s good so far, with art provided by Alberto Ponticelli for the framing narrative and first story, Vanesa Del Rey for the second story, and colours by José Villarrubia. The first story is a kind of traditional cautionary tale of helping others, whereas the second is a kind of humorous horror story of the perils of being a dick.

| Published by Dark Horse / Berger Books

Jean Grey #11 is an interesting, oversized finale for the series, which sheds a different light on what the Phoenix has been doing to young, time-tossed Jean, even as she goes through more purification by fire at the hands of other past remaining Phoenix hosts. Dennis Hopeless throws out some implications here that I really hope are followed up on in the near future.

| Published by Marvel

Joe Golem: Occult Detective #5 brings to a close both the “Flesh and Blood” arc and this second mini-series. This one has been good, with a nice mystery solved and some of the subplots of Joe’s history and supporting cast advanced. Patric Reynolds’ art is still a real treat, making the sunken NYC a real character in the book in its own right.

| Published by Dark Horse

KINO #3 spotlights again one of the things that I love about this series; the use of old style comics storytelling as a narrative device itself. I love that within the normal dark, stylistic intrigue of the main narrative, there’s a stylistic shift in both Joe Casey’s scripting and Jefte Palo’s art with Chris Sotomayor’s colours to a simpler superhero style when inside the KINO conditioning programme.

| Published by Lion Forge / Catalyst Prime

Phoenix Resurrection #5 is the epic conclusion to this series, which, despite some bombast, goes out with some emotional resonance, discussion, and character building rather than the usual superhero battle. It’s a fitting and mature reawakening for the “real” Jean Grey with Matthew Rosenberg giving us another glimpse as to why he should probably be one of the voices guiding the next stage in the X-Men’s evolution. Also, there are some great shots and reveals from the art of Leinil Yu & Gary Alanguilan and Joe Bennett & Belardino Brado, with colours by Rachelle Rosenberg. I know it’s not continuing into X-Men Red, but I particularly like the black and red variant on the Phoenix costume.

| Published by Marvel

Spawn #282 is ostensibly the conclusion to the “Dark Horror” story-arc, that gained this extra chapter somewhere along the way. As the story progressed, its felt like Todd McFarlane has been taking over more of the scripting, steering it more towards more traditional Spawn storytelling, and, although it has felt a bit at odds with the original oblique Japanese horror told through suggestion and conversation, it has still be entertaining. Also, Jason Shawn Alexander’s artwork has remained a beast.

| Published by Image

Star Wars: Doctor Aphra #16 sees the crap hit the proverbial fan as Aphra and her team face off against an angry archaeotech trap. The humour hits probably and all time high this issue, as the relationship between Aphra and Tolvan develops further.

| Published by Marvel

Tales of Suspense #101 continues to be one of the best buddy comedy thrillers in comics right now. Matthew Rosenberg’s characterization of Hawkeye and Winter Soldier are hilarious and help propel them through the action and intrigue in the book. Travel Foreman’s art (with colours by Rachelle Rosenberg) also continues to impress with some really nice panel transitions and action sequences.

| Published by Marvel

Underwinter: A Field of Feathers #4 is dark, very dark. As Felix and Rose battle over their kids, something worse happens. Ray Fawkes manages to amplify the horror exponentially.

| Published by Image

Other Highlights: All New Wolverine #30, Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows #15, Animosity #12, The Beautiful Death #5, The Beauty #19, Big Trouble in Little China: Old Man Jack #5, Black AF: America’s Sweetheart, Captain Marvel #128, Dark Ark #5, Defenders #9, Dread Gods #3, Elephantmen #80, Eternal, Falcon #4, Incredible Hulk #596, Infinite Loop: Nothing but the Truth #4, Invincible Iron Man #596, Jessica Jones #16, Kaijumax: Season 3 #6, Lazaretto #5, Maxwell’s Demons #2, Moon Knight #191, Old Man Logan #34, Outcast #33, Punisher: The Platoon #5, Quantum and Woody! #2, The Realm #5, Rick & Morty #34, Riverdale #10, Spider-Gwen #28, Star Trek: Boldly Go #16, Star Wars: DJ - Most Wanted, Star Wars: Forces of Destiny - Rose and Paige, Void Trip #3

Recommended Collections: Godshaper, Kill the Minotaur, Royals - Volume 2: Judgment Day, Saucer State, US Avengers - Volume 2: Stars & Garters, Venom - Volume 3: Blood in the Water, Violent Love - Volume 2: Hearts on Fire, Wayward - Volume 5: Tethered Souls

d. emerson eddy is revisiting The Moon and Antarctica. Wondering about the dark centre of the universe and all these tiny cities made of ashes.

[davidrsmithlove]

Three Tech Trends Transforming Digital Marketing

Unless people have been living in a cave or on a deserted island, they have not missed the explosion of digital marketing. Every time you get online, you are bombarded with advertisements; and when you access your social media accounts, it is even worse. If you have conducted a search for a specific product or service, for example, all of a sudden, ads for this type of product pop up in your feeds. Obviously, your behavior is being watched and noted.

This is all due to big data technology, something that is impacting virtually every sector of the economy. Oceans of unstructured data can now be gathered from all over the web and then organized and categorized, in order to answer questions businesses have about consumer behaviors, needs and wants, and then be used to predict what products and services should be developed and offered. It is based upon science, not “gut” feelings. The implications for marketing are explosive.

And no marketer can ignore the significance of using social media for their efforts. But using social media involves staying current on the latest technologies that will capture target audiences too. It is no longer enough to be on several platforms to promote products and services. Using data science to understand an audience, to know where and when they are online, and what type of content they want to see is critical.

Beyond data science, there are other digital trends that are also transforming marketing. Here are three of them:

1. Chatbots

Chatbots have been around for a long time. They are used via text, voice and messaging. One of the most successful early bots was Poncho, the Weather Cat.

He was developed by a small team, and the purpose was to give daily text weather forecasts to users anywhere in the world, in response to user requests, combined with lots of humor, horoscopes for a while, and social games.

Businesses took up this technology and began to add it to their websites, primarily to answer the most common questions that visitor’s must-have. A prime example is writing services, which students often use for assignment help. One look at the top-rated writing agencies at PickTheWriter will demonstrate the use of these types of bots.

But we’ve come a long way since then.

Enter artificial intelligence. Anyone who has used Alexa has experienced this. Bots are programmed to “learn” through natural language processing technology, so that they become “smarter” through continued use, as they provide more complex answers/solutions to their users.

What does this mean for marketing? A lot, actually. When customer inquiries and product searches are tracked through chatbots, it allows those bots to send out personalized push notifications regarding products/services in which they have shown interest; it allows suggestions for additional “upsells” to be made; and it allows automated yet personalized customer service, which is more and more becoming an integral part of marketing. When customer questions, problems, issues are resolved, they become loyal to a brand.

2. Voice Search

People are busy. And they are on the go a lot. They are on their mobile devices more than on PC’s now, and typing in search terms is no longer convenient or practical (those tiny keyboards). Fortunately. Google and Siri have that covered. Users can search for anything from a nearby Greek restaurant to ceiling light fixtures and get immediate results.

But there’s the thing about voice searches.

They are a huge challenge for businesses. Voice searches do not give pages and pages like a PC search does. It becomes even more important for digital marketers to ensure that their company is among the top results. It means that content must do the following:

No more single-word keywords. Users search in longer phrases and full sentences, and those must be incorporated into the content.

Content must reflect the natural conversational language and use vocabulary that your target audience uses. The vocabulary used by a senior citizen may be quite different from that of Generation Z users.

Content must absolutely solve a problem or answer a question that a target audience will have.

3. Incorporation of Blockchain Technology

Blockchain technology is already transforming huge segments of the economy because it creates immutable records and documents. This prevents fraud and theft and is the most secure environment for storage to date. Consider, for example, how an international shipment may go through several “hands” on its way to a destination. All along that way, there is the potential for theft or loss. Blockchain will track that shipment through all of these points and record its contents at each stop/transfer. Blockchain also provides permanent secure storage of medical records, voter registrations and identity, financial transactions, legal contracts, and more.

So, how does this impact digital marketing? Consumers are far smarter and far more wary of providing a lot of personal information when they do business on the web. And they want much more control over how their personal data is used by advertisers (sold, rented, exchanged, etc.). When businesses incorporate blockchain into the “mix,” it is the consumer who decides when that information can be shared with any others, not the business. This increases trust.

And there is also the benefit of blockchain for marketers who use paid advertising. Through blockchain, they are able to track all of their ad dollars and confirm exactly who is viewing those ads, when, and how (and there are real people, not bots being “counted”). The point is ensuring that a target audience is actually reached.

There’s More…

In addition to the use of big data, covered in the introductions, these three trends are big, as far as the technology that should be incorporated. Another huge trend is the use of the augmented and virtual reality that will give consumers experiences with products and services.

But new technologies are not the only key components of digital marketing. There are many non-tech trends too, and marketers would be well-advised to stay current on those as well. Just a few of these involve storytelling, feature advantages benefits selling (FABS), use of media, and promoting relationships rather than products.

Digital marketing, in total, is a complex and challenging effort if it is to be successful. But it is the one thing that will bring consumers to a company’s doorstep and beyond. No marketer can become lazy in a crowded and constantly changing space.

About: Angela Baker

Angela Baker is a self-driven specialist who is currently working as a freelance writer at WoWGrade writing services and is trying to improve herself and her blogging career. She is always seeking to discover new ways for personal and professional growth and is convinced that it’s always important to broaden horizons. That’s why Angela develops and improves her skills throughout the writing process to help to inspire people. Also, she writes for LiveInspiredMagazine, rounding out her professional writing career.

Get a Free Consultation

[magnificentmktg]

Three Tech Trends Transforming Digital Marketing

Unless people have been living in a cave or on a deserted island, they have not missed the explosion of digital marketing. Every time you get online, you are bombarded with advertisements; and when you access your social media accounts, it is even worse. If you have conducted a search for a specific product or service, for example, all of a sudden, ads for this type of product pop up in your feeds. Obviously, your behavior is being watched and noted.

This is all due to big data technology, something that is impacting virtually every sector of the economy. Oceans of unstructured data can now be gathered from all over the web and then organized and categorized, in order to answer questions businesses have about consumer behaviors, needs and wants, and then be used to predict what products and services should be developed and offered. It is based upon science, not “gut” feelings. The implications for marketing are explosive.

And no marketer can ignore the significance of using social media for their efforts. But using social media involves staying current on the latest technologies that will capture target audiences too. It is no longer enough to be on several platforms to promote products and services. Using data science to understand an audience, to know where and when they are online, and what type of content they want to see is critical.

Beyond data science, there are other digital trends that are also transforming marketing. Here are three of them:

1. Chatbots

Chatbots have been around for a long time. They are used via text, voice and messaging. One of the most successful early bots was Poncho, the Weather Cat.

He was developed by a small team, and the purpose was to give daily text weather forecasts to users anywhere in the world, in response to user requests, combined with lots of humor, horoscopes for a while, and social games.

Businesses took up this technology and began to add it to their websites, primarily to answer the most common questions that visitor’s must-have. A prime example is writing services, which students often use for assignment help. One look at the top-rated writing agencies at PickTheWriter will demonstrate the use of these types of bots.

But we’ve come a long way since then.

Enter artificial intelligence. Anyone who has used Alexa has experienced this. Bots are programmed to “learn” through natural language processing technology, so that they become “smarter” through continued use, as they provide more complex answers/solutions to their users.

What does this mean for marketing? A lot, actually. When customer inquiries and product searches are tracked through chatbots, it allows those bots to send out personalized push notifications regarding products/services in which they have shown interest; it allows suggestions for additional “upsells” to be made; and it allows automated yet personalized customer service, which is more and more becoming an integral part of marketing. When customer questions, problems, issues are resolved, they become loyal to a brand.

2. Voice Search

People are busy. And they are on the go a lot. They are on their mobile devices more than on PC’s now, and typing in search terms is no longer convenient or practical (those tiny keyboards). Fortunately. Google and Siri have that covered. Users can search for anything from a nearby Greek restaurant to ceiling light fixtures and get immediate results.

But there’s the thing about voice searches.

They are a huge challenge for businesses. Voice searches do not give pages and pages like a PC search does. It becomes even more important for digital marketers to ensure that their company is among the top results. It means that content must do the following:

No more single-word keywords. Users search in longer phrases and full sentences, and those must be incorporated into the content.

Content must reflect the natural conversational language and use vocabulary that your target audience uses. The vocabulary used by a senior citizen may be quite different from that of Generation Z users.

Content must absolutely solve a problem or answer a question that a target audience will have.

3. Incorporation of Blockchain Technology

Blockchain technology is already transforming huge segments of the economy because it creates immutable records and documents. This prevents fraud and theft and is the most secure environment for storage to date. Consider, for example, how an international shipment may go through several “hands” on its way to a destination. All along that way, there is the potential for theft or loss. Blockchain will track that shipment through all of these points and record its contents at each stop/transfer. Blockchain also provides permanent secure storage of medical records, voter registrations and identity, financial transactions, legal contracts, and more.

So, how does this impact digital marketing? Consumers are far smarter and far more wary of providing a lot of personal information when they do business on the web. And they want much more control over how their personal data is used by advertisers (sold, rented, exchanged, etc.). When businesses incorporate blockchain into the “mix,” it is the consumer who decides when that information can be shared with any others, not the business. This increases trust.

And there is also the benefit of blockchain for marketers who use paid advertising. Through blockchain, they are able to track all of their ad dollars and confirm exactly who is viewing those ads, when, and how (and there are real people, not bots being “counted”). The point is ensuring that a target audience is actually reached.

There’s More…

In addition to the use of big data, covered in the introductions, these three trends are big, as far as the technology that should be incorporated. Another huge trend is the use of the augmented and virtual reality that will give consumers experiences with products and services.

But new technologies are not the only key components of digital marketing. There are many non-tech trends too, and marketers would be well-advised to stay current on those as well. Just a few of these involve storytelling, feature advantages benefits selling (FABS), use of media, and promoting relationships rather than products.

Digital marketing, in total, is a complex and challenging effort if it is to be successful. But it is the one thing that will bring consumers to a company’s doorstep and beyond. No marketer can become lazy in a crowded and constantly changing space.

About: Angela Baker

Angela Baker is a self-driven specialist who is currently working as a freelance writer at WoWGrade writing services and is trying to improve herself and her blogging career. She is always seeking to discover new ways for personal and professional growth and is convinced that it’s always important to broaden horizons. That's why Angela develops and improves her skills throughout the writing process to help to inspire people. Also, she writes for LiveInspiredMagazine, rounding out her professional writing career.

Get a Free Consultation

[thefantasysuite]

Maybe no More Volleyball

I feel like nobody on this season of the bachelor (including the bachelor) understood what they were signing up for. Let’s break it down since everyone forgot. When you sign up to go on a reality dating show you did so because nothing else seems to be working out for you or you want your 15 minutes. There are over 20 other contestants that did the same thing. It is a competition. The girl that doesn’t pout and whine and complain is going to have a better shot than the one that does. If Mr. Bachelor tells you you’re going to play a game of volleyball then you go out there and tell him that volleyball is your favorite thing to do in the world. Time may be the most valuable currency in this particular vacuum that is the bachelor, but it’s not the only one. Having a good attitude goes a long way. Don’t think I forgot about Nick either. They didn’t like your game. So what. Suck it up and march on. Instead he sends home two really attractive girls on one date, goes back to the other girls and cries, then tells them he can’t do this anymore. I almost felt sorry for him on that group date, but then I was quickly reminded why I didn’t a few segments later. He’s a bitch.

More Taylor. Ugh. At least it was short lived. She tells Nick that she just wants what’s best for him and doesn’t think it’s Corinne. We’ve seen this type of conversation too many times to count on past seasons. She leaves right after and I hope to never see her again. Nick heads back to his dinner with Corinne and tells her whatever she needs to hear. Rose ceremony quickly after. For the first time he makes some decent choices and gets rid of Alexis, Josephine, and the lesbian:

Our cast and crew set off for the island of Saint Thomas. 3 girls haven’t had a one on one, so Nick gets out of his plane right away to disappoint 2 of them. Kristina is our winner here and gets to spend the whole day hanging out with the most boring guy in the virgin islands. Kristina offers a glimpse into her personal life as she talks about having a sister that still lives in Russia. They go for a swim and then she really opens up about her life during dinner. Talks about how her mom kicked her out of the house at 5 years old for eating before she got home. I feel like Kristina’s mom would have made for a good employee at the Kremlin. So Kristina ends up at an orphanage before being adopted and brought over to the United States. She talks a lot about how the people at the orphanage were like brothers and sisters. Here is a picture of them all before she left:

Nick is deeply touched by her story and asks if she will accept his Роза.

Back where the girls are staying Corinne gets the gift she’s been waiting for since she left home, another babysitter. I don’t know if she’s housekeeping, or a maid, or concierge or what but Lorna quickly becomes Corinne’s servant. I feel like Corinne still has someone cut her steak up into tiny little pieces so she can eat it easier. 

Group date involves everyone except for Kristina, Danielle L, and Whitney. They head to the beach to play a little volleyball. Innocent enough, right? Not so much. I would like to know how long they were actually out there because they lost interest fast. Went off drinking, or to take a nap, or just went off the deep end in Jasmine’s case. Constant complaining and whining about not having enough time with Nick, even though he was right there the whole time. They are in one of the most beautiful places in the world playing at the beach, but I guess if you don’t get the backstreet boys every date it doesn’t matter. They all head to separate corners of the beach and start crying. You would have thought their plane crash landed on a mysterious beach and they were LOST:

(Corrine is totally Shannon in this scenario. Pretty to look at but just dead weight that everyone hates)

The weirdness didn’t stop there. Jasmine mentions that she wants to punch Nick out because she feels ignored. I mean, that will get his attention, but probably not in the way you want. She eventually gets her turn to talk with him and let’s just say it didn’t go well. Multiple times she puts her hands around his neck as if to choke him and asked if he liked that kind of stuff. Even David Carradine thought she went a little too far. One of the more awkward moments in the franchise. I haven’t seen a person get rid of someone named “Jazz” that quickly since Uncle Phil did it weekly in the 90′s:

Yo homes, smell you later

Meanwhile Corinne is having the time of her life pretending she’s on spring break:

At some point it’s mentioned that Raven got the group date rose. Did we miss that, or just me? I really had no idea until it was brought up. I was probably trying to recover from what Jasmine just did.

Our second 2 on 1 date really surprised me with both Whitney and Danielle going on it. Nick had a pretty good first date with Danielle and I’m not sure we’ve heard Whitney say 5 words. They land on some beach and of course there is the customary 2 on 1 date bed that looks like it’s for a Sultan:

So he starts off talking to Whitney and I’m wondering why we haven’t seen more of her. She’s very pretty and seems interesting based on what little small talk they share. But alas, we are dealing with Nick, and after a short conversation with Danielle he quickly leaves Whitney behind as they fly away. Nick isn’t done yet though. They are having dinner and Danielle lets it slip that she’s falling in love with him. That’s all Nick needed to hear, to send her home. So he decided to get rid of two really attractive women when he didn’t have to? You realize you have to pick one of these girls at the end of the show, right? Why do you keep sending home good looking girls? Side note on Danielle, she reminded me a little bit of former contestant Britt:

Not just in looks either. Both seemed to have the uncanny ability of sounding fake whenever they expressed emotion even though I don’t think either were. No idea if Nick thought the same or not since he had some weak ass excuse for leaving her after choosing her.

Back at the resort the girls are shocked, SHOCKED, that production ends up taking both sets of luggage. Nick comes in a little later and starts crying. I also noticed he didn’t knock or anything which seemed awfully rude. So he is in there crying, they start crying, he talks about how hard this process is and isn’t sure if he can do this. Then he just walks out. Like, what the fuck. Act like you’ve been there, because you have. I have a feeling that Nick synced up being around the ladies all the time and let his emotions get the best of him. Maybe he needs a cute blonde to help relieve all that stress he’s got bottled up.....

See ya next week

- Nick

[micent]

You can download the map in the team's official website

They also have a single pair of prolegs on the last abdominal segment. They have very good vision and breathe through a series of tiny openings along the sides of the thorax and abdomen, known as spiracles. Many caterpillars can detect vibrations of wings and other movements around them for defense purposes.

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