#even in a fandom that has a grand total of five people 💀 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

digyoman · 2 years ago

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thinking about earlier this year and even last year when i was so deeply hyperfixated on lloyd & he was all i could think about and yet i barely shared any of my thoughts on here. i kind of want to kick myself about it now actually because i know i had so many things to say and so much i wanted to do but i never made it happen. why was i a coward.

#raaghhh i’m just so disappointed in myself :(#it would’ve been so cool to have those posts to look back on now!!!#technically i still can because it’s all rotting in my notes app. but that’s not as fun.#and it’s not even really about that it’s more like. knowing there’s so much that i’ve missed out on #i never shared any of my writing here (despite saying that i would like. 5 million times!) because i was so so scared of it being perceived #so i never got to experience what it’s like to get feedback!!#and then there’s the lloyd roleplay blog that i’ve wanted to make since very early 2021….#i got so close to doing it last year and i put literal hours of effort into the blog but then i just. decided not to use it.#and i think that makes me the most sick because like. how many interactions do you think i missed out on??#maybe it wouldn’t have gone anywhere. maybe it would’ve sucked and died immediately but i’d never know unless i tried!!!#and now i’ll never know.#‘just do it now’ well you see. I Am Still Scared :)#idk i just find it so difficult to put myself out there #even in a fandom that has a grand total of five people 💀#but i am thinking about it!!! and that should count for something #anyway wow i can ramble!#if you read all this…. hi :)#i’ll probably delete this later but it was good to get it off my chest!

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