#experimenti

[multifandom-nerds-blog]

Me after chapter 201 (What took you)

So, about Ando. (And his contradictions) huh.

We start of with the most important thing, Sakamoto telling Ikari that she's a creep. (Thank you Taro, she really is. ) Before Shin picks up Andos weapon to threaten him.

It's clear that the stress of the whole situation is just getting to much to bottle up finally. He sneaked on the cruise to find him, in hope to reconcile with him. He's been on his own for FOUR YEARS, looking for information about Ando. Mind you, since he was only 9. He's barely even a teenager with 13 right here. He probably slept on the streets, and who knows what he had to deal with. He's skinny and probably doesn't get to eat regularly. Same for his eyebags, he probably can't find a safe spot often enough. (Not to forget the insane sensory overload he must feel compared to the underground lab. And I don't just mean his ESP with that.)

He's angry. His hopes for connection got crushed with his own father trying to kill him (multiple times). He's scared because at this moment he's probably convinced he will forever be alone. He's tired and probably hungry. He's overwhelmed so he points the gun at Ando.

Now Taro is trying to stop him, but mostly because he still wants to avoid the bomb going off. (Or so it seems at least) The fact that Ando has to die is less of a question for Taro, he's still his target. It's just a question of when and by who I think. He, already, doesn't want Shin to kill someone in anger. And although we can't see his thoughts here, he probably also doesn't want Shin to be the one to kill Ando specifically.

Now. Important is also that Shin only actually shot because Ikari scared him.

He says himself, he didn't mean to. He really just wanted to force an apology out of Ando. And as a child, that grew up on his own around violence, the threat of violence was probably the most obvious answer to do so. And yet, he didn't actually want to shot. He's a child, he's scared. And because he's scared, he physically jolted when Ikari started shouting and pressed the trigger. It's all inhis eyes. He didn't expect the bullet to come out. He didn't want to do this.

Now. Well. Ando. We have a short insight in Andos mind. While Ikari is trying to attack Shin, before he jumps between them to save Shin.

He's thinking about spending 13 years to escape the JAA, all because he saved Shin as Al Kamaar as a baby, only for Shin to show up with a hitman and mess it all up. And it very much sounds like he still resents Shin for it. He even thinks that he shoul've let him die as a baby. (In the official manga plus translation. In another translation he evn thinks about killing Shin as a baby.) And well, he then saves Shin, only getting injured even more.

And this is all just contradicting itself. Andos words and thoughts and actions. He talks about saving Shin as a baby, but who put him in Al Kamaar in the first place? He saves him, but who tried to kill him a few minutes ago? Who let Shin be thrown overboard a few chapters ago? (And it's very likely that Ando did that in order for Shin to have a chance of survival, somehow.)

One moment he resents Shin, in the next his parental instincts seem to show through after all. (And has Ando figured out that Shin can read minds? He seems to be Intentionally thinking those words here. This could support the theory that Shins powers are actually born, andAsakuras potion just triggered them accidentally.)

All in all, I'm pretty sure that Ando might be mentally unstable. (I mean, who isn't in Sakamoto Days. And at one point Ando mentions being soft in the head, which is probably just a throw away line. But who knows.) His mind can't settle between an urge to protect and resent Shin. It was probably a moment of clarity, that made Ando drop Shin of at Asakuras lab. And even though they already didn't seam to have seen each other for a long time at that point, he seemed to know that Asakura would take care of Shin/protect him. Even when Asakura would complain about it. (He also talks about "What would Asakura think about this?" when Shin is pointing the gun at him. Which makes Shin angry. This seems to be directed at Shin, but it might as well be directed at himself. Because what would his old friend think about him trying to kill the child he left in hi ssafety all those years ago? Surely nothing good.)

Shin is rightfully upset about all of this, curling up in himself. Because Ando couldn't even say those words about Shin having grown so much out loud. Now. Taro reminds us though that there's still a bomb on the ship, that will explode the moment Ando dies. (Is it like linked to his heartbeat? What.) Telling Shin to keep him alive long enough for him to find and dissarm the bomb.

When Shin says he's going with him to help, because the engine bay is to big, Taro actually tells Shin to stay back and use the remaining time he got left with his dad. Which... well. In the end Taro seems to understand that Ando is still important to Shin in some way. It's an absolutely messy situation in so many ways. Also because, again, the only reason they meet was because it was Taros job to kill Ando. But he wants Shin to be able to at least say goodbye to Ando. (Something Taro couldn't when Rion died.) But Ando also knows that Taro probably won't be able to find the bomb, which would mean Shins death as well if the ship explodes. So, seemingly set on wanting Shin to live in the end he decides to tell Shin the bombs location. And to go with him, while he will hang on until he gets back.

Which he probably won't. I think he just doesn't want Shin to see the moment he dies. Not to forget that Taro would protect Shin if the bomb goes off after all. In the end, his parental instincts are trying to protect Shin. Both physically, and mentally. Even if it's way to late for that.

Well. I'm definitely crying. This is all a huge mess. Taro, please get your newly adopted son to therapy instead of teaching him how to be an assasin.

[werewolfaday]

day 18!

[princesscringe]

🐁

[paimt]

pokemon trainer oc Reed the Wetlands Conservationist

[mothirl]

She devon on my wine country till I get a dui

[mannytoodope]

Thomas Edward Yorke (born 7 October 1968)  is Radiohead's main singer and songwriter. Yorke also plays guitar and piano and works with synthesizers, sequencers, and programming for the band. He is known for his high-pitched vocals and wild onstage energy. Yorke formed Radiohead with classmates after they graduated from college. They had an early hit with the song "Creep." I remember it being played all the time on the radio and MTV.

The success of "Creep" turned Yorke into somewhat of a celebrity; in the '90s, Radiohead had the typical alternative rock sound. After the release of their fourth alum, Kid A, in 2000, they got a little more experimental. Critics and fans ranted and raved about that album. I prefer their second album, The Bends. I don't know; maybe I listen to it at a particular time in my music journey. When they released  Kid A, Yorke, and the band moved into electronic music, allowing Yorke to manipulate his vocals often. In 2006, Yorke released his first solo album, comprising primarily electronic music, titled The Eraser, and has continued to release solo albums and release work with Radiohead. He has collaborated with various artists. He also composed music for films. Outside of music, he is an activist for human rights, environmental, and anti-war causes, and his songwriting often has political themes. Thom Yorke is a talented musician who is constantly making exciting music.

[whitmore]

ok so the implication is that qniki and qrivers are criminals right. they’re getting real obvious with this the island is a prison metaphor huh

[loverboybrightsideghost]

i really do love practicing 🎻

[sketchy-nick]

Markers & Stickers

[myconfusedsexuality]

Ouuuughh I feel like I got hit with a whole truck to my pussyy oouuughhh this is great again again again hhhhhh but after naaaap

[feyascorner]

Okay perhaps this sounds odd but imagine Astarion starts to disassociate while intimate with Tav and so he uses their established safe word, only to be bewildered when Tav actually listens to him and stops and asks if he’s okay and tries to comfort him because nobody has cared that much before 😢

OH GODS WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME (i love it) warning for suggestive content :)

For as long as Astarion's been genuinely intimate with you, for no other reasons but simply because of the affection the two of you hold for one another, he has always been in control.

It soothes him, in a way, to be on top. And as much as he enjoys watching you come undone beneath him, there's a more frustrating reason behind why he always feels the need to be the one to push you down onto whatever surface he deems decent enough at the time. From above you, he can see every little twitch in your body, every shift in your expression, and most of all, he can control what's happening, unlike his centuries spent as a seductive tool for Cazador's own needs.

He knows you're not like those fools. He knows you're different, and you're special to him. But the gnawing voice in the back of his head always forces him to pull you in, to hold you closer, to make love to you.

It's fucked up in so many ways.

"I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel."

But when you look up at him with those imploring, loving eyes, the voice seems to go quiet. He swallows the dryness of his throat, unable to think of anything but how wonderful your touch feels on his skin, and he thinks he could drown in this forever. He's putty in your hands, whether he wants to admit it or not.

"Well? Don't be a tease just standing there, darling."

In what feels like minutes, he's a mess. He's making sounds he shouldn't be making, fingertips digging into your hips as if they're the anchors keeping him from finishing too early. He breathes heavily into the crook of your neck, groaning when you caress the sharp tip of his ear between your fingers.

The only thing keeping him from spilling is the impending embarrassment he'd feel for doing so this early on in the night.

Then, everything stops.

"You're so beautiful," you whisper.

They're only words. They're not ones he's heard little of---in fact, he's heard it too much in the past two hundred years. In an instant, memories of the nights he spent under strangers, forced to shove his mind into its darkest corners just to get through their own pleasures, flood his consciousness. The sickening taste in his mouth afterward, and the need to rub his skin till it goes raw were not uncommon. It was routine. A sick part of his life that he'd rather forget.

You don't mean it the same way they did. They only said things like that because that's all they could say. They didn't know him as anything but the husk of a body he resided in. He knows you are saying the words to him. Not to his body but to the very person he is.

But the word comes spilling out his mouth, and immediately, you freeze.

You actually stopped.

Of course, you would. You're you.

"Are you okay? Did I do something?" you reach to cup either of his cheeks, and he stares at you as if you're a star that's fallen from the sky. He blinks, slowly.

"I don't know, I just---" he searches for words. "--you haven't done anything wrong, darling."

You wait for him to finish patiently. Gods, he doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve you.

"I only remembered something I'd rather not," he plasters a crooked grin on his face. "It's quite alright. We can continue now if I haven't ruined the mood."

You pull away from him, and he fears you'll leave.

Moments later, you return with a glass of water. Wordlessly, you hand it to him, and he only stares at it, confused beyond belief. Only once he notices the way you gesture to the glass does he drink it, and you finally climb back into bed, lying down beside him.

"Come here," you open your arm, motioning him to come closer.

"Darling, as much as I'm all for experimenting, that's a strange position to have sex in."

You smile, shaking your head. You don't explain any further, only continuing to hold out your arm.

Hesitant though curious, he slowly lies down beside you, his head just above your chest and slotted between the space below your chin. With gentle hands, you pull him closer and toss the blanket over both of your bodies.

It's warm. Strange, but warm.

"You don't have to wear a mask with me," you whisper.

His eyes grow wide, and his chest stills. He doesn't have many tears left after 239 years, but there's an unfamiliar squeeze in his chest that tells him if he were still 39 and alive, he might have. Astarion wraps his arms around your waist, burying his face into where he can hear the steady beating of your heart.

Later, when your eyes begin to droop, he mumbles.

"Tell me I'm beautiful again."

"You're beautiful," you say softly. "With or without your pretty face."

You might be imagining it, but you feel him smile against your skin.

[serendippertyy]

❌WRONG WAY❌

this has probably been done before but I have wanted to make a drawing like this for Soo long soo this is just something experimential 😅🤗

[shionszz]

husband Mayonnaise came back from flowershop and brought a bouquet for his spouse

gift for @allimili :33

still experimentiing with colorings,, hope this is gud enough:33

[mannytoodope]

The Flaming Lips - Breathe

[friedri-ce]

RICE! RICE! THE AUDIENCE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW!

Hands over comically large microphone

HOW DO YOU RENDER? THE AUDIENCE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW!!! AND WHAT BRUSHES DO YOU USE???

hello audience 😁

my rendering process is a mystery but here is an old guide that still works... since then my artstyle has changed slightly!

also the brushes!