#(which . sure yeah in a meta sense we’re aware of. they were all invited to the server

[whitmore]

ok so the implication is that qniki and qrivers are criminals right. they’re getting real obvious with this the island is a prison metaphor huh

[avaritia-apotheosis]

Phantom Children Ch.4

In Which: exposition for exposition's sake exists, and Vlad looks way more suspcious than he ought

| AO3 | Prologue | 3 | [4] | 5

VLADIMIR MASTERS. Human male in his mid-forties, and most notably the founder and CEO of VladCo, a billion-dollar industry that mostly specializes in manufacturing weapons and technology. Graduated summa cum laude from the University of Wisconsin despite having to drop out due to a lab accident in his second year, landing him in the hospital. Despite being based primarily in Wisconsin, he made an unexpected move to Amity Park Illinois shortly after reuniting with his college friends Drs. Madeline and Jack Fenton.

Not even a year later, Masters ran for mayor of Amity Park and won the election by a landslide. Suspicious, considering Masters being an unknown and the former mayor Montez being quite popular. It’s during Masters’ tenure in office that reports of ghost attacks to the Justice League steadily died down.

“Why?” Damian asked.

Barbara shrugged, pulling up a few files on the screen. “I originally had a theory that related to VladCo’s buyout of Axion Labs—a technological research and manufacturing company that’s mostly local to Amity—being a factor. Within the last couple of years, they had been experimenting with highly volatile chemicals with hallucinogenic properties. Amity had always been known for being extremely superstitious with its ghosts, and if Axion Labs had somehow accidentally released that chemical into the city, well…” She leaned back into her chair, hand twisting in the air. “You could bet how that ended up. The hysteria around ghosts only grew worse in the last two years, with suspected sightings from once every few weeks to multiple in a single day. Early attempts to capture sightings were unsuccessful, and soon enough Amity Park was just written off.”

Much like the mass hysteria surrounding the urban legend of the kuchisake-onna in Japan in the late 1970s, Bruce thought. He pulled up some news footage from Amity Park dated a few years back of citizens being interviewed about their ghostly encounters. Beside these videos were a few photos taken by a shaky camera, showing bright blurs of light streaking across the sky or vaguely humanoid shapes rising from the ground.

“So VladCo., bought out Axion Labs, improved its security, and slowly helped detoxify the town?” Damian shifted his weight onto his other leg and crossed his arms.

“That’s what I thought, but—”

“But the ghosts ended up being real.” Bruce pulled up a video of a field reporter-slash-weatherman taking cover as a figure dropped from the sky, breaking through the walls of a building. The figure—features distorted by an eerie glow—shot out of the rubble just in time before a green blast hit it.

Oracle enlarged other news footage with a few taps on her keyboard. Beings zooming through the air. Massive plants erupting from the ground. Technology coming to life. Each video more worrying than the last, and most showing some footage of a figure bathed in a white glow. “I’d be hard pressed to call any of these faked.”

It begged the question as to how Amity Park survived this long unscathed. Since, if he remembered correctly, even the Dark Leaguers tended to avoid Amity Park like the plague. “They have their own heroes, then?”

“Think along the lines of vigilantes with unofficial support.” A few more files popped up on screen. One showcased a female in a full-length black and red body suit on top of a hover board. The other was a male; young, perhaps a teenager, with white hair and a black and white suit. Hazmat? “The Red Huntress and the Phantom of Amity Park.”

“Partners?”

“More like enemies working on the same turf. Sources place Phantom as appearing first, though it seems Red Huntress has more government support in the end despite there being no official statement. They seem to be the most effective ghost hunters in town, though far from the only ones. The Fentons of Fenton Works are also acting as ghost hunters, though their track record of success leans more towards their anti-ghost tech than any hunting. The town’s even attracted visitors from the Ghost Investigation Ward; a side branch of Cadmus though a now defunct organization.”

“This doesn’t make sense,” Damian said. “If anything, this should be more than enough reason for a League intervention. Why the Justice League didn’t come sooner is the real question here.”

Bruce’s lips thinned. “That’s because we were warned off it.”

“What?”

While there was no rule against heroes entering another hero’s city, there were certain unspoken rules that demanded that JL members avoid claimed cities or stay just outside of city lines until given permission to enter. Some were especially strict about it such as Batman’s ‘no metas or outsiders’ rule. Others were more lenient, simply requesting a warning before entering.

Amity Park, despite having no listed heroes in the database, was marked with heavy ‘Do Not Interact’ warnings for humans and metas alike.

“Justice League Dark said that under no circumstances should the League interfere in Amity. The situation was never explicitly laid out for us except to say that everything was being handled.”

“Oh yeah,” Oracle chimed. “Constantine even had it bolded, underlined, italicized, and in all caps. The occult community was very clear about everyone staying away—and apparently this decision had support from Amity Park too.” She pulled up another document. “That’s probably what led to the decline in their ghost reports, actually. Amity’s claims were considered bogus and brushed aside. No one outside their town—not even their sister town of Elmerton—believed them, so they simply stopped asking for help.”

Strangely, it reminded Bruce of Gotham. Both cities existed in its own isolated sphere, unwilling to let any outsiders interfere in its business.

“It’s safe to assume, then, that whatever Ra’s al Ghul wants with Amity, it has to do with these ghosts. Do we have anyway to contact the town’s vigilantes?”

Oracle shook her head. “Ghost attacks within the past few months have slowly died down along with sightings of Phantom and Red Huntress. Your best bet is asking Masters directly.”

Damian glowered. “Masters blatantly sent out an invitation for Batman to my father. How do we know that Masters hasn’t somehow found our secret identities?”

“Unlikely,” Bruce said. “Vlad Masters, despite his wealth, has done well to keep a low profile. He’s met Bruce Wayne a total of three times within the last decade and Batman not at all.” That, and with the kind of spyware Batman has, he’d be able to tell when, where, and who was trying to dig deep into Batman’s past. Masters hadn’t even registered as a ping.

“Besides, there’s always a few rumors of Wayne Enterprise’s involvement with Batman. All this tech has to come from somewhere, no?”

“How long is Masters staying in Gotham?”

“Umm…” Oracle leaned forward in her chain and flipped through a half-dozen windows. “Going by his reservations at the Gotham Royal Hotel, he’s leaving tomorrow.”

Bruce pivoted on his heel, heading deeper into the Cave. “We better make this count, then.”

------

According to Oracle’s intel, Vlad Masters was staying at one of the executive suites in the Gotham Royal Hotel. A titanic structure with forty-eight floors, two towers, and the gothic aesthetic that never seemed to leave Gotham’s architecture.

Scaling the building as well as entering the suite proved no challenge for Batman and Robin. But upon entrance, it was abundantly clear that the room was vacant.

“Are you sure you guys are in the right room?” Bruce could hear the clicking of Oracle’s keys through their comms. “Masters had reserved the suite on the west tower.”

“Yes we’re in the correct room, Gordon,” Robin hissed.

“Codenames only, Robin.”

Robin clicked his tongue, sweeping the common room for any hidden bugs or cameras as Batman scouted out the rest of the room. The bed was made to hotel standard and the bathroom towels all completely replaced. There were no clothes in the hotel closet or dresser.

The only thing left that indicated occupancy of the room was an unmarked manila envelope unsubtly tucked within a pillowcase.

Robin tensed at the sight of it. “A detonator of some sort?”

Batman rotated the package, holding it up to his scanner. “Doesn’t seem to be. Regardless, it might be better to take it back to the Batcave and locate Masters ag—” The envelope started ringing. A standard ringtone found in most phones. Quickly, but carefully, Batman opened the manila envelope and dumped its contents onto the bed. A ringing burner phone and a flash drive came tumbling out.

Batman threw the flash drive at Robin before answering the phone, holding it up against his ear but saying nothing.

Silence. Then, Masters’ voice filtered in through the phone with a strange echo-like quality. “Good evening, Batman! I’m so glad my invitation managed to get passed along.”

Batman growled into the speaker, “What do you want, Masters?” He signaled Robin to do another sweep of the room for any signs of Masters they might have missed.

“I sincerely apologize for not being there to meet you myself; incredibly rude of me, I know. But it cannot be helped, the shadows are growing ever bolder.”

“So, you are aware then, of the League of Assassins’ presence in Amity Park?”

“A league of assassins? What a terrifying notion that is.” Batman frowned. It was unlikely that they had misread his words at the gala, so why was he acting unaware now? Could he be watched? “Why such a group would appear in my little town, I wouldn’t even dare to guess.”

Robin came back into the room and signaled back ‘negative.’

“Why did you call for us, Mayor Masters?”

“Do you know what is so very tragic, Batman?”

“This is strange,” Oracle said. “I can’t pick up his signal. He’s not appearing on any of my cameras, either.”

“When someone so young dies much to soon.” A pause. “Could you even imagine such a thing? A parent burying their own child.”

Batman could. He had no need to even imagine it because he lived it.

“Some very close friends of mine have been weighed down by the shadows of death and I require help in providing them the closure they need.”

“Are the Fentons the targets, then?”

Masters paused. Then let out a breathy laugh over the phone. “Oh, if only it were that simple.”

“So a different target.”

“Everything you need to know is in the flash drive I’ve enclosed in that envelope Whether you take up the case is entirely up to you—though I do hope you take it. Regardless, if he is not returned soon then I assure you that a disaster unlike any you have seen before will arrive.”

Batman narrowed his eyes. “Is that a threat, Masters?”

“No,” He laughed. “That was no threat. That was promise.”

The phone line disconnected just as Oracle exclaimed that she finally found Masters boarding his flight back to Amity Pak.

[superboyz]

clone/human error (timkon)

in which Damian plays inadvertent match maker but only so Tim will stop being such an embarrassment.

--------------------

Damian’s mind had drifted off, brow furrowed and hunched in his patented thinking position. How long had he been staring at the same words? But he couldn’t stop puzzling over the odd behavior he had witnessed- a kind tone of voice shocked him out of it.

“What?”

Grayson leaned over the back of the chair and began reading the screen, “what’re you thinking about?”

“Nothing,” he responded, a gut reaction. But he soon thought better of it: Dick understood that some actions that might seem normal to other people were incomprehensible to a thirteen year old ex-assassin- no judgement if Damian asked. And he was sometimes the only one who could make sense of Tim’s actions like the time he had starting investigating the Illuminati and filled a board with red string and pictures of the Denver airport, Dick knew that it was time to feed him and put him to bed. 

He cleared his throat and waited until Dick’s eyes were fixed on him expectantly before asking, “Drake, and that kryptonian clone… I don’t understand.”

“Yeah, Timmy and Conner- understand what?”

“Well,” he had to remind himself that Dick wouldn’t reprimand him for asking questions- force of habit. “Are we not supposed to acknowledge- is father-“ it was odd for him to stumble over his words, even more odd that Grayson was looking at him with a very confused expression.

“I’m missing something Damian.”

“Well,” he started impatiently, “I asked Jon about them, and he claimed that he was unaware they were in a relationship together. And Brown laughed, although it’s all very obvious… was I not supposed to mention it?”

Dick’s initial response didn’t help- he blinked listlessly before covering his hand with a guffaw. Damian’s face hardened and he quickly turned somber, “I wasn’t laughing at you Dami. It’s- well, Jon was right, they aren’t dating. What would make you say that it’s obvious?”

Now it was Damian’s turn to laugh, maybe Grayson was that obtuse. “Physical affection, pet names, dates, gifts: these are all signs of romantic partnership. You should know this better than me, Richard,” he admonished with a smirk.

“They’re just friends Damian.”

“He brought the clone as a date to the Christmas party,” he deadpanned.

“Not as a date per-say.”

“You would never invite Wallace to the Christmas party!”

“Exactly! Because- ... well-,” Damian smiled to see Dick falter for a few seconds. “Hmm,” he said finally, cupping his chin thoughtfully. “Good question,” he said finally.

“Well?” Damian prompted, impatient again.

“Well what?”

“Was it wrong of me to mention it? I’m aware father doesn’t allow meta-humans in Gotham, and they’ve somehow convinced people-“

Dick shook his head, "they aren’t together Dami.”

He sighed heavily, "Grayson, I find it hard to believe you already forgot our conversation of a few seconds ago-“

“They’re not dating."

“Well why not,” Damian exploded. He was even more confused than he had been before Grayson arrived, it didn’t make sense. At this rate he would never understand his peers, their actions were so counter intuitive. And just when he thought he might understand more than Grayson.

Dick laughed softly, "calm down Damian. If you care so much, why don’t you ask Tim? He’s coming home to pick up some things tomorrow.”

“I don’t care, only that it’s stupid,” he scowled as Dick continued to smile his amused smile, “and I will ask.”

“Good initiative Robin, tell me what you find,” Dick encouraged. Damian smirked ‘I will’.

-----------------

“What are you starring at me for, demon spawn?” Damian’s gaze had been unsettling him all night, and did even more when he just smiled softly when Bruce yelled a half hearted ‘knock it off!’

Tim was confined to the table until he finished his food, a childish punishment that was sure to frustrate him in addition to Damian’s tactics to unnerve him, which seemed to be doing their job. The perfect conditions to launch his attack. Tim mocked Bruce under his breath but continued to sit petulantly, just pushing the spinach and bits of chicken across his plate with his fork. More confusing to Damian than his relationship-not-relationship was the fact that anyone would want to date Drake when he had such an affinity for acting like a petulant child.

“Don’t you have anyone else to torture,” Drake mocked with a mean smile. Damian responded tactfully with a kind one which made succeeded in making Tim even more frustrated and unnerved. “Fuck off.”

Bruce yelled something else unintelligible and Alfred peeked his head in to give Tim and his plate an unimpressed look before ducking his head out again.

“I’m hoping,” he started finally, “that you can answer a question for me.”

“Are you the worst Robin?: yes. Now leave.”

“You and your Superboy,” he continued.

“What do you want with Conner, demon spawn,” Tim snarled. ‘Protective’ Damian noted, as if ticking off a mental checklist.

“The nature of your relationship seems to be… close.”

“Yeah Damian, it’s called friendship- I’m sure its completely foreign to you,” Tim sneered. He punctuated this with a bite of chicken that he chewed noisily, and with his mouth open.

“Colin and Jon are my friends,” he pointed out good-naturedly. “But we’re not as close as to use pet names,” Tim cocked an annoyed eyebrow, suddenly clued into the line of questioning, “and I don’t take them as dates to social functions.”

Tim was silent, staring levelly at Damian and taking little bites every so often. After about a minute of the stand-off Damian finally continued as if Tim had replied, “those types of things could be mis-construed by some people, some very rational people, into thinking that the two of you might be in a romantic relationship.”

“Very rational is objective,” Tim said, suddenly calm and reasonable as if he was suddenly engaged in a debate in class, “for example I would say killing people isn’t very rational, but to a little psychopath like yourself, it could seem normal to a point of being instinctive.”

Damian felt a tt of annoyance if only because he found it irrelevant and unnecessary that Tim would dredge up the past, “killing is no longer something I can justify. I haven’t done that in a long time.”

“I’ve never killed anyone ever.”

“We’re not talking about me,” Damian said, trying not to let his frustration bleed through.

“Right,” Tim said, with his mouthful of a dainty bite of spinach. He punctuated his words with his fork, “we’re talking about how you’re obsessed with me and my relationship- I’m not entitled to answer any of your questions.”

“I only have one,” Damian tongued the inside of his cheek, “and I haven’t even asked it yet.”

“Fine, what is it?"

“What are you planning to do about your feelings for him?”

You could’ve heard a pin drop. Tim stared at him, eyes comically wide, before he suddenly started choking on an invisible bite of food. Damian smiled to himself, watching as Tim seemed to flounder. 

“What the hell are you talking about,” Tim eventually choked out.

“Surely you don’t think that people wouldn’t notice,” it was his turn to sneer. “Physical affection, pet names, extended amounts of time alone, together, gifts, all markers of a romantic relationship. And if that wasn’t enough you talk about him incessantly, call for him in times of emotional distress, prolonged stares, and a rational person might say that when someone dies, the obvious next step isn’t attempting to clone them.”

“You wouldn’t know how to interpret that behavior, let alone understand it,” Tim said, face livid at this read.

“Wouldn’t I? For example I can interpret Graysons caring actions towards me and understand it as brotherly love. Maybe you’re just saying that because your actions aren’t being interpreted or understood by the clone, and maybe you’re too afraid to voice them aloud. Or maybe you never realized it, which would be surprisingly idiotic even by your standards, or you have never let yourself acknowle-“

Damian was cut off by the loud sound of Tim’s chair scraping as he pushed it back. In a tense moment Tim considered his now empty dinner plate for a second before lobbing it at Damian’s head and storming off. It shattered behind Damian’s head and from upstairs Bruce swore loudly. He had gotten too off track with his line in questioning, Damian concluded, and then became annoyed with himself, he never got his question answered.

----------------------

“I just don’t understand why you’re pushing this unless, of course, you care about Timmy and want him to be happy because you’re his brother,” Grayson teased him. Damian didn’t feel the need to even justify that with a response.

“It’s just frustrating.”

“Frustrating why?”

“I find it insulting to Father that he would chose to entertain partnership with someone so stupid. And you too, Grayson.”

“Gee thanks,” Dick scoffed, “but I still don’t think that that’s the reason.”

“Think what you want," Damian said, combatively, “but I’m going to bed now.”

“Goodnight Dami.”

“Goodnight Richard." He ended the call and set his phone on his bedside table. He looked restlessly around the room. Of course Tim would choose to whine to Dick. The idiot had stormed off without even grabbing the files he came for in the first place and had to double back for them, more than that he broke a plate that had been in the Wayne family for generations- thoughtless. In hindsight Damian guessed he could’ve been less pointed, but he just wanted Timothy to realize how stupid he was being and hopefully push him in the right direction. It may even be a nice initiative, but as shown by tonight, Timothy was filled with so much spite he would sit in front of his dinner for an extra hour just because he didn’t like steamed spinach. It was embarrassing by proxy. 

And hey- maybe if Timothy started dating Superboy he would come home even less. And maybe if Todd started dating his useless partner Roy Harper, he wouldn’t come home either… 

Just as Damian was being lulled to sleep with the nice prospect, Titus, who was at the foot of Damian’s bed gave a start. He rushed to the open window, ears alert and eyes trained on something in the darkness.

“What is it Titus?” His ear twitched, but he wouldn’t move when Damian called for him again. Damian climbed out of bed and shuffled over to his pet, intent on making him settle on the bed so Damian could sleep without interruption but when he gazed into the night sky he could see two blurry shapes on the horizon. He shied away from the curtain on instinct but wasn’t very much afraid as Titus’ tail began to wag and he began to whine, the way he did when he saw someone he knew… Through the open window he could hear the latch to Tim’s balcony open and without any warning Krypto came sailing through the open window, immediately hyperactively jumping around the space between Damian and Titus. He tried to quiet the Superdog, giving him a hug to keep him still and shushing him, but it was no use- over the panting he couldn’t hear a thing. Krypto wriggled in his arms, trying to get to Titus or to Damian’s closet where he kept some dog treats but he kept a tight hold on the dog, straining his ears to catch the conversation next door, but it would be impossible to make out from in his room. And if he let Krypto go he would surely make enough noise to alert Bruce that Superboy was in the house and then it would all be over, whatever it was.

It was a dilemma, but ultimately Damian knew what he had to do, he had to keep the dog still. He spent a whole five minutes wrestling with the pup until he started whining and pulling Damian towards the open window. He tried to hold on but ultimately couldn’t as Krypto began to pull him off the ground. In a last ditch effort he grabbed the stupid cape the clone kept tied around his neck but it ripped with what seemed to be an earsplitting sound in contrast the the quiet night. Krypto went sailing out the window and crashed the glass balcony door, so eager to get to his owner. Damian face-palmed, there was nothing he could do now. 

He walked to Tim’s door and pushed it open without knocking, but the sight inside gave him pause. Superboy was straddling Tim on the floor, the two of their faces only a inch apart and they only looked away when Damian announced himself to the two of them. “I hope it was worth it to bring that stupid dog.”

“He was only protecting me from the glass,” Tim stuttered pathetically.

“Whatever you say Drake, but father will see through that straight away if your boyfriend doesn’t leave before he gets up here.” That sentence was punctuated by Bruce’s feet thundering up the steps. Within a second both boy and dog had cleared and Tim was left laying in the middle of the floor when Bruce came barreling in.

“What the hell happened?” He didn’t even bother to grapple with which one of them did it, immediately and harshly yanking Damian around to face him.

“I’m sorry father, it was childish of me. I just wanted to give him a fright.”

“I thought you knew better than that Damian. I’m very disappointed in you- no patrol for a week.”

“Fine,” he said. If he sounded oddly compliant, or didn’t notice the way Tim looked after Damian as he padded off to his room, Bruce didn’t seem to notice.

------------------

The window was fixed within a week but by the time Christmas came around Todd not only knew about the incident months later, but kept bringing it up. 

“-sent a drone to attack him in the middle of the night!” Dick didn’t even try to give the proper response to what Jason considered to be a very funny story, and just gave Damian a costly look. Grayson’s admonishments had hurt much more than Bruce’s and continued too. He almost wished had just told the Dick the truth in the moment, it would’ve even sounded more likely than the lie, but he didn’t for some reason. He just waited until Jason left to go get another glass of “adult eggnog” and avoided Tim’s eyes. 

He honestly couldn’t tell if Tim was still preoccupied like the incident like Todd or if he just missed his boyfriend, but it soon was clear that the latter was the truth because Conner showed up a couple seconds later wearing a hideous ugly sweater, Tim didn’t look at Damian for the rest of the night. Their PDA had become more tolerable with time but Jon, who had tagged along, stuck out his tongue and mock retched when the clone pulled Tim in for a kiss under the mistletoe.

So his plan to get Tim out of the house had backfired, and now he had roped his stupid boyfriend into coming by too. Even if Todd became as annoying as Drake with his partner, Damian decided that he wouldn’t intervene in anymore romantic relationships, ever. Drake still wanted to rub his victory in Damian’s face however. When he got to his room in the evening the idiot had scrawled him a little ‘thank you’ on a holiday card. Damian put it in a box under his bed for safekeeping, but only so he would never have to look at it again.

[roc-thoughtblog]

Sense and Sensibility Readthrough Part 22

Chapter 25, Pages 131-137

Oooh new text editor - oh dear lord it’s broken right now. I can’t paste everything in and it just ate my the rest of my post when I tried to delete the readmore. Needs more time in the oven. Anyway.

Previously, Elinor and Lucy have A Polite Talk. About Edward. Sort of more like a standoff really, no real shots were fired but somehow I still feel like blood was drawn. Actually no, the more I think about it, shots were fired and Elinor has been gravely wounded.

Summary of Elinor and Lucy's pianoside pistols-at-dusk: Elinor is the faster shot, and clips Lucy early, but Oh! 'Tis but a flesh wound! But Elinor needs to reload, she's now wide open! Lucy takes aim and fires back! Oh! Straight through the HEART! Elinor can't recover from this! Lucy Steele emerges victorious, and her prize is conviction of Elinor's intent to surrender of Edward Ferrars.

Lucy Steele: Silk hiding Steele - Okay I should stop that thought before I let TvTropes devour my soul - though a casual scan says that page doesn't list any direct Austen entries - there is a Mr. and Mrs. Darcy Mysteries though - actually this is fascinating - but there's no mention of my girl Anne Elliot here - aaaaand TvTropes is devouring my soul again even as I update what I'm doing as I type.

I'm going to assume this extra level of meta-awareness did prevent me from going even further down the rabbit hole.

Anyway!

Readthrough below.

Chapter 25

We're entering an entirely new segment of the story. Last chapter seemed to have wrapped up the Edward saga with a sort of two paragraph conclusion glossing over the aftermath. This chapter we're starting over fresh talking about Mrs. Jennings' personal life.

She insists on inviting the older Miss Dashwoods to her actual home near Portman Square. The Miss Dashwoods of course refuse, but I'm pretty sure this is where the next stage of the story will be set so something is almost certainly going to send them.

"I have had such good luck getting my own children off my hands [...] if I don't get one of you at least well married before I have done with you, it shall not be my fault."

Oh, I think that's the chief motivator of Mrs. Jennings' invitation. And she's very confident too. :'D

"I thought it would be more comfortable for them to be together; because, if they got tired of me, they might talk to one another, and laugh at my old ways behind my back."

Aww, is this chapter going to be a "Mrs. Jennings is a just a sweet lady really" showcase? ... I still wouldn't want to live with her though, I dunno if she'd let me have my social cooldown time.

"Lord bless me! how do you think I can live poking by myself, I who have been always used till this winter to have Charlotte with me."

... oh... she's just going to be lonely... :(

Also, my does she get along well with her son-in-law. She really ribs with Sir John like he is her own son.

Oh! It's London that Mrs. Jennings is taking them too. I was wondering what physical locale "near Portman Square" actually meant. Well, this is the most convenient location for having run-ins with the lads then. Willoughby and Brandon were both called to town on mysterious business weren't they? And Edward might be here too, that February visit with the Steeles that Lucy was so excited for.

Elinor was half-heartedly appealing to the cause of keeping their mother company as reason to turn down the invitation. Mama Dashwood ain't having it though, so they have no reason not to go. Peace and quiet to educate Margaret with everyone gone, and ample time to renovate rooms without disrupting people. Also, Marianne seemed like she kinda wanted to see town, possibly for Willoughby-related reasons. Yep, the Miss Dashwoods aren't getting outta this one.

Oh actually, Marianne really wants to go. Her countenance sunk as soon as Elinor tried to voice one last objection. My mind has immediately drifted to sudden onset of sad puppy look.

Marianne would like to go alone if Elinor won't go; Elinor is... not going to let that happen because as much as Marianne claims to be able to endure Mrs. Jennings' personality right now, in Mrs. Jennings' company it will probably be a bad time for all parties without Elinor also there reigning her in. Well, it doesn't matter anyway because Mama has made up her mind and they are both going.

Mama brings up Edward in a semi-romantic context again, which Elinor has been trying to wean her from for Reasons. Yeah, I get that. Elinor comments that she's perfectly indifferent to everyone else in Eddie's family besides himself. Apparently that's cause for astonishment in the other two? Not sure what that's about. Is she supposed to like the rest of Edward's family such that being indifferent to them is some kind of admittance? Or is it just a very impolite, un-Elinor statement to make?

With any luck, she won't run into Eddie because the trip will be over before February. Haha, this is narrative, there's no chance of that.

Oh no the Miss Steeles are still around. Welp.

Marianne's joy was almost a degree beyond happiness, so great was the perturbation of her spirits and her impatience to be gone.

Oh wow, I seriously underestimated how excited Marianne was to be on this trip. I think the narration was downplaying it earlier in the chapter, so I guess she was really bottling it in while Elinor was still disapproving of the idea. But now that Mama has commanded them to Go Have Fun, the stopper is unstopped. Pure unadulterated Marianne is out to play again! :D

It'll be good to have excited Marianne back! As much as I tend to disapprove of her general thoughts and attitudes, Elinor-style, I do enjoy her silly rom-antics. See what I did there? Haha, actually that simple dumb thought-slash-joke has put me in a more chipper mood than when I started.

Also, sorry this took a while again. I wish I could say that I've been busy, but it's more like I've had trouble managing myself/motivation for the past week. Also, I keep skipping out medication because I get up too late. Isn't it crazy how I get more things I want to do done when I take it, like today. ;>.>

Semester starts again on Monday, so I may start to get actually busier, but provided I don't manage to "lock" myself again the added routine will probably be a positive change.

[thaumatological]

im gonnaaaa revise and post my very dirk centric analysis of the epilogues here as well

also in case it needs stating, spoilers abound!

i read through both of the epilogues simultaneously yesterday, consuming both at the same time rather than one and then the other, and i feel like while it may not have been the most “satisfying” approach from a character-centric perspective, i have a more complete understanding of the stories than those who read them separately. if you’ve read through both and have the stomach to do it again for some reason, i suggest doing it in parallel, m1 c1 m2 c2 etc.

i will warn you though, i ended up having two nightmares at the same time in my dreams last night. like, simultaneously, two separate threads of terror unraveling in my subconscious. i woke up this morning already knee deep into an analysis of the homestuck epilogues, and it was less like “waking up” and more “becoming aware that i was conscious”

anyway, without further ado!

dirk killing himself in candy 14 is the scene that resonates with us as being “dirk” because it is. that’s all dirk, our dirk, the one from homestuck. he Has to do that in order for candy to continue being candy, and part of me believes that he knew that on a conscious level—hence his death being just. he knew he wouldn’t get a nice fluffy outcome in the candy timeline because him, all of him, not just this one instance, was fated to be meat dirk.

—and speaking of, the concept of Ultimate Selves pretty much squares away meat dirk. he doesn’t read like our dirk, the one from homestuck canon, because the narrative explicitly states he’s Not anymore. he’s become all of him, all of him from across paradox space, including notable players bro, doc scratch, and lord english. dirk’s Ultimate Self is a culmination of every possible him taken to the highest intensity. it reads like one of his personal nightmares because it WAS his personal nightmare—the personal nightmare of our dirk. he’s a prince of heart. the ascension to his Ultimate Self resulted in the complete destruction of the barriers between his splinters. the more i think about it, the more brilliant it is. he seems out of character as the dirk we know and love because he isn’t.

i feel like i finally Get it, but i’m still not looking forward to seeing people who dislike dirk using this to discredit the progress he made on his personal journey (ie “see he was evil the whole time!”) nor am i looking forward to all of the “dirk would never do this! it’s ooc writing!” from people who seem to have missed the part of homestuck where what scared dirk about himself most was the undeniable truth in it. there’s more than one example of “bad dirk and/or dirk byproducts” out there in paradox space. it’s more than feeling like you “might” be bad, it’s… being afraid of what you would be if you weren’t so afraid of being it, it’s seeing things that were a result of You-but-not-you and having to stare down the fact that even if you weren’t bad, even if you didn’t, you could have, would have, did. dirk’s Ultimate Self being a nightmare scenario is ..almost a recursive throwback to his fears about his ultimate self (note capitals)

him taking control of the narrative was epic though. it honestly did not catch me off guard? it makes sense. it is a 100% dirk strider move. if you haven’t read it by now for some reason, go read detective pony. i am diagnosing you with read detective pony by sonnetstuck. it’s terminal.

the only two people aside from hussie to have controlled the narrative in homestuck canon are the cherubs. and i did make the point somewhere up there that dirk absorbed lord english, and by extension, caliborn. that’s WHY he got that ability. not because he’s a prince of heart. dirk controlling the narrative makes sense from the perspective of dirk controlling the external narrative as well, ie, the whole thing is on a piece of paper that he wrote as some form of bizarre cathartic self punishment for his existence, but in the grander scheme of things and truth of homestuck dirk controlling the narrative makes sense as the puppetmaster-turned-puppet we see him become in several of his iterations, because caliborn literally becomes part of him.

everything is so skewed by the narrators. yes, both of them, because the whole point of the epilogues is that both of them suck and muse calliope is just as shitty as “impartial” “narrator” as Ultimate Self dirk is. it actually makes the whole thing a lot greyer in morality than it comes across at first. US dirk does a lot of Bad Shit as narrator, yeah, but even as passive as she is, calliope’s narration has its flaws (see: everything relating to trickster mode)

the epilogues are less about the characters themselves and more about a grander conflict between the two cherubs, using dirk and jade as their puppets—and yes, muse calliope is using jade as a puppet LITERALLY, which upsets me on so many levels i can’t even get into it here. let jade be fucking relevant and happy hussie or so help me i will write myself into your narrative and do some renovation of my own. but dirk is equally deprived of his agency in this scenario. i’m not going to debate with anyone about the inherent goodness/badness of dirk strider because that’s an entirely different essay, but in canon, dirk’s entire arc is about NOT becoming exactly what he becomes in the epilogues. the dirk we know didn’t choose to become his “Ultimate Self,” the dirk we know doesn’t get a choice between meat and candy, the dirk we know is at the mercy of the narrative even as he pretends to control it.

and that’s not something new to dirk strider, in any variation of himself. i’m specifically going back to thinking about the term “puppetmaster-turned-puppet” here, because i like it. in canon, we see dirk get out-puppeted by hal. it’s implied that bro is being controlled at least in part by lil cal, who is in turn.. a splinter of dirk indirectly via hal via arquiussprite. i’m getting a little lost in all the splinters. why is dirk’s worst enemy consistently himself? don’t answer that. uhh also it should be mentioned that makes lil cal a puppetmaster-turned-puppet-turned-puppetmaster, both literally and metaphorically. i fucking hate andrew hussie.

anyway, both of the epilogues do all that shit to to drive home the point that both of them (and i mean muse calliope and LE here when i say both, because this has officially stopped being about the dirk we know) are removed from human concepts like “good” and “evil” and represent duality in an alien manner that to a casual observer could be mistaken for some objective statement about morality, but they’re both wrong to us from our perspective as humans with human morals. the choice of candy and meat from the beginning was a cherub one. that’s not a balanced meal! that’s not even a reasonable dichotomy for humans! meat is not more real or “canon” than candy was, both of them are very flawed stories being manned at the helm by omnipotent green aliens.

okay we’re ALMOST done here, i just want to touch on the actual authors of the narrative rather than the ones the narrative insists are its narrators. by which i mean the actual real life human beings who wrote the epilogue. the point i was making above about how dirk doesn’t have any agency? the point of these epilogues were that none of the characters have any agency in their stories. every work is a reflection of its author, even when aforementioned authors are hiding behind pseudoauthors on a narrative level.

the homestuck epilogues feel very meanspirited to me. they punish their readers for not understanding their intentionally heavyhanded meta. homestuck was always very meta, but it was also fun. this, on the other hand, wasn’t fun. i haven’t seen anyone claim that the epilogues were a “fun” read, even those who enjoyed them enjoy them on the basis that “tragedy is a valid form of art,” and,,, ........and their opinions are. valid. and they can have them. sure.

but for those of us who read stories in order to enjoy them, which i am safely assuming makes up the majority of those who read homestuck, the homestuck epilogues are like a final kick in the teeth as a send off to a fandom with barely any teeth left to lose. we’re already having people who refuse to read them, and god i wish that were me, but it’s also.,, you can’t criticize something properly if you haven’t read it. we’re going to see a lot of very bad takes in the coming days about all kinds of things from information proliferating through the grapevine, and personally, i am not looking forward to it. i really hope this is the end, that homestuck is finally fucking over, and the epilogues are done with and we can all live our lives unmarred by strange orange men with typewriters. i’m going to hole up with my cool and new webcomic music albums and all of the good novel-length dirk-centric fic i’ve bookmarked over the years and wait this one out. i invite you to do the same.

cool and new webcomic bandcamp | cool and new greatest hits | my personal favorite album by them

detective pony by sonnetstuck (seriously please read this it watered my crops and cured my lead poisoning)

literally anything by callmearcturus but this is my personal favorite (chamomile, rosewater, and other unlikely intoxicants)

this long winded discworld joke by oxfordroulette that inflicted me with a terminal case of loving jake english despite it being a dirkjohn fic (vanitas vanitatum) also if you finish reading this one and also succumbed to loving jake english, i’m not going to link it but they have another fic that’ll scratch that itch for you. that’s all i’ll say on that matter.

this fic said nonverbal autistic dirk rights and thank god (we were made for another world by princex_n)

thanks for reading

[boyfriem-moved]

the foxhole court bad

(aka the eden’s twilight chapter is gross, the thanksgiving chapter is also gross, andriel is an abusive ship, and nicky and andrew are two terrible people being terrible to each other, a passionate essay by a dude who’s real sick and tired of this garbage)

I was gonna try to reread the whole series so I could factually and definitively prove that tfc sucks once and for all but after 2 chapters I concluded that reading it again was killing my last 3 brain cells, so I stuck with rereading the worst two chapters and gathering a few other moments I thought were noteworthy, and we’re just gonna have to go from there. I’m gonna discuss a bunch of stuff so I’m putting the entire meta under the cut. Also! If you have no idea what tfc is and follow me for other reasons but are intrigued by my hatred I doubt you could get through this whole thing without being bored. I’ve made a couple short posts saying what’s wrong with tfc, most recently this one here, which you could read instead of this long ass mess. 

If you know nothing about tfc and still wanna read, trigger warning for mentions of drug abuse, rape, physical abuse, emotional/psychological abuse, sexual abuse (both of children and adults... well of one adult who was once a child), actually. all abuse. just. don’t read if you’re triggered by any general categories of abuse

You still here? So sorry about that. Now let’s get going! 

I can’t deny that there’s some sort of appeal to tfc. “Sports team for fucked up weirdos” is an interesting concept and one that can draw you in, if it’s done well. But Nora Sakavic thrives on shock value and can’t write to save her life, so it’s not done well. It’s done very, very badly. Now I’m not here to complain about the terrible writing (even though I could, believe me). I’m here to complain about how Nora writes like she gets into tumblr discourse with teenagers and makes anti blocklists. So we’ll just go in chronological order, because I think it makes the most sense that way. 

Eden’s Twilight

Up until the Eden’s Twilight chapter, the bad parts are more or less excusable. Andrew is...being Andrew, but the book has just begun, and as long as he doesn’t get any worse he’s bound to have some character development soon (which ha funny joke but we’re hopeful, the night’s still young). Nicky is likable and seemingly the good guy who’s said maybe a couple iffy things, Aaron isn’t noteworthy (and boy does he stay that way), and we haven’t seen much of Kevin’s “fun alcoholism” yet. 

And then there’s Eden’s Twilight.  The setup to the chapter has a couple interesting moments, most notably Nicky pushing Neil to take out his contacts despite the knowledge that it makes him deeply uncomfortable because everyone just bends to the fucking whim of Andrew apparently (a running theme that I’ll get to later) and a gross bit of setup where Nicky comes onto Neil and Andrew threatens to kill him. 

“...his happy expression faltered when he got a good look at Neil. “Oh man. Neil, you clean up good. Can I say that, or is that against the rules? Just--damn. Aaron, don’t let me get too drunk tonight.” (tfc pg 129)

(Nicky is an adult with a fiancee who he allegedly loves. Neil is 18. Just in case anyone’s forgotten.)

Then they go and buy some drugs! Nora shows a worrying misunderstanding of how drug withdrawal works (Nora do even one ounce of research for your shitty book please ma’am I’m begging you) and they buy some drugs with vague side effects (I have no idea if the stuff they take is based off real world drugs and I’d rather not find out) in a scene that seems unrealistic but I couldn’t tell you for sure (never bought drugs. not about to ask the people in my life who have.). They buy their drugs, Andrew takes some drugs, Nora continues to know nothing about withdrawal, they go to a nightclub! The night is still young!

And now comes the big problem area. 

Their nightclub adventures begin with a complicit bartender who says, “Back so soon, Andrew? Who’s your newest victim?” (tfc pg 133). On a later page it’s established that the bartender was spiking Neil’s drinks and fully aware of everything the siblings planned to do (as is routine with them? apparently?) so. Fun guy. 

They do some drugs, drink some alcohol. Neil refuses to do both. Andrew and Nicky are adamant about him doing drugs with them, but he refuses, so they concede. 

“Drink with us if you won’t dust with us,” Nicky said, holding his open packet in one hand and his shot in the other. 

And Neil does. Because there’s no reason not to, really. Andrew’s gang accepted it when he said he didn’t drink. They’ve so far not forced him to do anything he doesn’t want to. He watched the bartender pour his drink. He has no reason to suspect he won’t be fine. 

So, of course, his drink is drugged, and Andrew, Aaron, and Nicky hold him down as he tries to run away. The twins force him onto the dance floor, then leave him with Nicky, reigning defender for World’s Most Predatory Man. 

“Bodies and lights blurred around him, making Neil nauseous. He clawed bloody lines down Nicky’s arm as he fought to get free. Nicky didn’t let go until they’d reached the middle of the dance floor. He pulled Neil up against him and caught Neil’s chin in his fingers to force his head back.  Nicky’s kiss was harder than Neil expected it to be, and there was more than just tongue in it. Beneath the burn of vodka Nicky shared with him was the sweet tang of cracker dust. Neil didn’t mean to swallow, but it hurt too much to hold it in his mouth.  “This is how the game goes,” Nicky said against his lips. “Stop fighting if you want to survive.” (tfc pg 136)

Nicky is a good guy of the story. Not only that, he’s a fan favorite character. This isn’t even a chapter people gloss over to glorify their faves, either. People often point to this chapter and the surrounding scenes as one of the series’ most iconic moments. Neil’s night ends with him paying a bartender to knock him unconscious to put an end to the drugged abuse, which can be found near the top of pretty much everyone’s “top ten iconic Neil Josten moments” lists.  This scene is fucking disgusting. He’s forcefully assaulted, allowed and encouraged by Andrew, who’s supposedly the force keeping Nicky in line, and who told him earlier in the chapter not to try anything. Aaron and Kevin are complicit in this, as is the bartender. As are the rest of the team members and Coach Wymack, even if it’s to a far lesser extent, because though they’re horrified that Andrew and his gang brought Neil to the club, they’re not surprised. For people who seemed to know it was coming, they did an awfully lax job of keeping Neil safe though they claim that’s their top priority, and Wymack hardly reprimands Andrew. And no one even shifts blame towards Nicky, despite the fact that he’s the worst person here out of all of them.

People tend to ignore Nicky in general when it comes to how bad of people all these characters are. Which is weird, because Nicky is a horrific predator, and this scene can’t be excused. Though he never assaults Neil again, he continues to be interested in him up until his lackluster apology (which, by the way, does not excuse his actions in this chapter so fuck off if you’re gonna say it does), and it’s pretty clearly implied that he only stops flirting uncomfortably with Neil (who, side note, is still barely not a child) because Andrew forces him to, and not because of any personal growth. 

This should be the end of my explanation of why these books are terrible. Writing a scene like this, in which the assaulters are the good guys of the story and will, throughout the next three books, improve as people by exactly 0%, is reprehensible. There’s no coming back from that. But some of you obviously disagree, so let’s keep going. 

There’s more scenes like this, one in particular, but I’m gonna talk about it later. My point is just that “token gay character is a blatant predator” is not a good look, especially when written by a straight woman.

Thanksgiving

Nora Sakavic would not know how to write a rape victim if one punched her in the face and told her she was a horrible writer. I wish I didn’t have to say more. But I obviously do, so let’s go. 

(as always: necessary disclaimer that I am not a csa survivor and if anyone out there is and disagrees with me I’m more than willing to hear you out, however, i don’t think it takes one to tell that Nora Sakavic is a Fraud And Hack) 

This one wasn’t quite as hard to reread as the Eden’s Twilight chapter, probably because even though the acts are worse, it doesn’t have a bad message overall. The rapist is, thank god, the bad guy in this one. 

It does, however, have problems. Because Nora is still unable to write about serious issues without incorporating scenes purely for the purpose of shock value. 

Like, y’all, it’s really not hard to say “this character was raped as a child and has problems with consent and intimacy because of it”. You don’t need to bring the rapist into the story and have them rape the character again only for the main characters to walk in on it and kill the rapist with a lacrosse racket. 

Oh yeah, spoilers, that’s exactly what happens.  

The chapter starts out fine. If anything, it’s tame for a chapter of a book out of The World’s Most Unnecessarily Over The Top Book Series. 

The basic setup is: Nicky’s parents have invited him and the twins home for Thanksgiving after being estranged for 5 years. Andrew refuses to go. He won’t tell anyone why, but after a talk with him Neil learns that it’s because he was raped by his stepbrother and when he confided in Nicky’s dad about it, Nicky’s dad told him it was a misunderstanding. 

Y’all know what that is? Perfectly fucking adequate writing. We learn this thing about Andrew’s past. He has, for probably the only time in this entire series, adequate motivation to do something. But Ms. Sakavic, known Fraud And Hack, said fuck that. We need more. We need to really know what Andrew went through. “Like in a longer conversation sequence?” Someone sensible asked. Nora shook her head. “Like in the second worst scene I have ever written because I am a Fraud And Hack.” 

So they go to Nicky’s house for Thanksgiving! This also gives Nora a chance to remind us all that she is a straight woman and Nicky is a gay stereotype. Andrew is on edge the entire time, but Neil manages to keep him under control for the most part. Then we learn that Nicky’s dad invited Andrew’s rapist ex-stepbrother to the house. And than they’re upstairs together. Alone. 

So y’know, Neil and Aaron run upstairs, break down the door, there’s a page and a half of description of the scene of Andrew about to get raped before their very eyes, Aaron kills the rapist with a lacrosse stick (exy stick, whatever), and scene. I’m not gonna quote this one, because I don’t wanna make anyone read it, but it runs roughly from page 215-220 of The Raven King if you wanna see for yourself. Highly recommend against it. It’s nasty. 

This is a chapter that goes from 0-100 in pretty much too seconds. Someone should probably tell Nora that forcing Andrew to have dinner with the man who discredited his rape is enough digging up of his traumatic past. We don’t need to go deeper. She can stop now. She should stop now. We know Andrew’s history of csa at this point. If Nora thought that wasn’t enough, there are a million ways she could go more in depth without doing this. This scene doesn’t even go more in depth. In terms of advancements in the story, all that happens is that Aaron, Kevin, and Nicky find out about Andrew’s past (something that could have happened in so many different ways) and Aaron kills a man (which doesn’t actually matter because it takes no toll on him and is never mentioned again because nora is a fraud and hack). I was appalled and horrified the first time I read it, and rightly so, because that’s it’s only purpose. 

And putting a rape scene in a book for the sole purpose of shocking your readers is just a nasty thing to do. 

Bonus Point: Riko Moriyama Is An Evil Monster And That’s Bad Even If He Is The Villain 

Riko’s an evil monster! Yeah! Obviously! We’re glad he died! He sucks! But...he’s a very badly written evil monster, and I don’t feel like unpacking all of him, but I just want to point to a couple scenes towards the end of The Raven King real quick since they fit with the whole “Nora don’t write about rape like this” theme. 

I’m not gonna quote this one either because it’s Real Gross. But basically, Riko convinces Neil to spend winter break with him by telling him that he arranged for Andrew to get raped over Thanksgiving, and that if Neil doesn’t comply with his terms, he’s paid off one of the doctors at the psych ward Andrew is staying in and will get that doctor to rape him again. 

So that didn’t...need to happen. It’s quite frankly disgusting that Nora wrote all this (the language in this scene is very explicit). It’s disgusting that she couldn’t think of any other way to portray her villain as evil. This is bad writing. Riko doesn’t need to be cartoonishly villainous. It’s unnecessary, it’s over the top, and it’s sickening to read. 

Also? That scene at the end of The Raven King where Riko handcuffs Neil to the bed and like...stabs him and it’s never said he rapes him but he definitely rapes him because Nora’s predatory subtext is more obvious than a slap in the face? That didn’t need to happen either. 

Andriel is a terrible ship, Nora you FRAUD AND HACK

So Andrew and Neil get together in the last book, because every series written by a straight woman needs a super unhealthy gay relationship for fangirls to call cute.

(This one is...weird because a lot of the fanbase are gay themselves, but I’ve heard there’s gay people who like the captive prince too so. i guess it just be like that sometimes.)

I don’t have time to comb through the entire book looking through problematic moments, and I wouldn’t want to. I’m just gonna grab a couple noteworthy scenes in what I hope will make an adequate outline of this fucked up relationship. 

The Foxhole Court starts by setting up a running theme of Everyone Disrespecting Neil’s Boundaries All The Time with Wymack, Andrew, and Kevin coming to his high school and refusing to leave until he agrees to sign on with their Not Lacrosse team. His first meeting with Andrew is when Andrew hits him with a lacrosse racket to forcibly stop him from leaving the locker room, a pretty good encapsulation of the sort of person Andrew is. They spent the next three books allegedly falling in love.

Neil establishes boundaries. Andrew breaks them.

“I don’t need to be persuasive,” Andrew said, putting a hand to Neil’s chest as the elevator slowed to a stop. “You’ll just learn to do what I say.” 

This is on page 33 of tfc, during their second meeting. Andrew establishes that he’s controlling and manipulative pretty damn early. 

A list of other “romantic and iconic” Andriel moments include:

Andrew breaks into Neil’s room and goes through his belongings

Andrew drugs Neil and allows Nicky to assault him (after threatening to kill Nicky if he tried anything??) because he doesn’t trust him

Andrew uses threats of sharing personal information to force Neil to tell him secrets

Andrew is repeatedly physically violent (their first meeting, beating him up at Eden’s Twilight)

Andrew tells Neil’s secrets to the team psychiatrist, knowing full well it’s a betrayal of Neil’s trust

Andrew delights in Neil’s fear and goes out of his way for most of tfc to make him fear for his safety

Andrew didn’t look at Wymack. “Neil wants to come with me.”  A day ago, those words might have been an order or a threat, but today Neil heard only truth. He’d chosen the Foxes. He’d chosen to trust Andrew, whatever that meant and whatever consequences it brought down the road. (tfc pg. 152)

After that quote the moments are harder to spot (read: I reread less of trk and none of tkm so I don’t have any bookmarks to turn to), but they are still there. The last moment there is from trk, so the abuse doesn’t stop, I’m just too exhausted to keep looking. 

And let me be clear, that quote is barely consent. Andrew physically and psychologically abuses Neil into the position he’s in when he surrenders and sides with Andrew on page 152.  This scene takes place right after Eden’s Twilight, and above all of what went down there, Neil has just been forced into telling Andrew more personal information than he’s ever told anyone. After a night of abuse he feels trapped, like resistance is futile, so he gives in. Saying he wants to be part of Andrew’s crew doesn’t count as consent when his hand is being forced. 

Even though scenes towards the end of the series show Neil beginning to learn how to control Andrew and the two of them coming to stand on a more level ground, their relationship is one built on abuse and violence, and it’s important not to forget that. It’s unrealistic that Neil would come to trust Andrew, honestly. And having the abusive, more mature character give Neil his first ever relationship and teach him that he’s gay (or bi, or whatever he is) is not a good look. Especially when this book has everything else I’ve already mentioned. Especially when Nora is, once again, a grown ass straight woman. 

Nicky And Andrew Are Two Terrible People Being Terrible To Each Other And Actually I Hate Both Of Them 

So Nicky’s predatory and Andrew is violent and their relationship is as unhealthy as can get. Andrew’s relationships with Nicky and Aaron are both unhealthy, but Aaron’s much less so, so I’m just gonna get into Nicky today because I’ve been writing for almost 3 hours and I kinda wanna die right about now. 

We’ve already established that I don’t like either of them. But let me be clear, it takes a lot for me to admit that Andrew “knives hidden up my sleeves” Minyard is right in any situation. And yet, in pretty much any situation where he threatens Nicky, it’s easy to see him as the good guy, at least up until a certain point. 

Andrew is a bad person. He’s violent and manipulative and has no regard for people’s boundaries. Nicky is arguably worse, painting himself as the peacemaker while being horrifically predatory. 

(A point on Nicky: Nora spends pretty much all of the first book showing Nicky as predatory, then abandons it entirely for the next two books, making it easy to forget the kind of person he is. Just because the predatory behavior stops doesn’t excuse it. Just because Nora thinks one lousy apology makes Nicky a good person suddenly, doesn’t mean it does.)

I’m gonna paste in a pretty massive chunk of text from the foxhole court, but I think it’s all important, so bear with me. 

“Andrew is scary territorial of him. He punched me the first time I said I’d like to get Kevin too wasted to be straight.” Nicky pointed at his face, presumably where Andrew had decked him. “So yeah, I’m going to crush on safer targets until Andrew gets bored of him. That means you, since Matt’s taken and I don’t hate myself enough to try Seth. Congrats.” “Can you take the creepy down a level?” Aaron asked. “What?” Nicky asked. “He said he doesn’t swing, so obviously he needs a push.” ... “Nicky’s scheming to rape Neil,” Aaron said. “There are a couple flaws in his plan he needs to work out first, but he’ll get there sooner or later.” “You’re such an asshole,” Nicky said as he started for the door. “Wow, Nicky,” Andrew said. “You start early.” “Can you really blame me?” ... Andrew caught Nicky’s jersey in one hand and threw him hard up against the wall... “Hey Nicky,” Andrew said in stage-whisper German. “Don’t touch him, you understand?”  “You know I’d never hurt him. If he says yes-”  “I said no.”  Jesus, you’re greedy,” Nicky said. “You already have Kevin, what does it-” He went silent, but it took Neil a moment to realize why. Andrew had a short knife pressed to Nicky’s jersey...Neil knew Andrew meant it. If Nicky so much as breathed wrong right now, Andrew would cut his lungs to ribbons, any and all consequences be damned. 

 So there’s a lot to unpack there. I loose Andrew at the point where he’s ready to murder, but though he’s extreme as fuck, it’s not like he’s unjustified. We learn later from his backstory why he’s so extreme in shutting down any behavior he sees predatory, and rightfully so. (Even though there’s still Eden’s Twilight soon after this... it’s Nora’s incompetent writing isn’t it.) Nicky is a creep. He’s an adult. He has a fiance. And he’s talking about how he’s going to coerce a teenager into having sex with him because he won’t tell him his sexuality. 

He says he wouldn’t do anything without consent, but we know that’s not true. He’s just saying what Andrew wants to hear. 

And as for Andrew, though his violence is excused by backstory and mental problems, it’s a big fucking deal. He nearly killed his cousin, who we know he feels at least some sort of fondness for, because it’s established at this point that the reason he’s so heavily medicated is for attacking men who threatened Nicky. Would he regret it later? It’s impossible to say. He killed Aaron’s mom and assumed Aaron would be grateful. He’s threatened or attacked pretty much every member of the Not Lacrosse team. And I honestly don’t know what Nora is trying to tell us about him. He gets tamer once he’s permanently off his medication, but he was violent before it. I suppose that’s because by then Neil has learned how to calm him down, but is that the message? Abuse a boy into hanging out with you and eventually he’ll be a boyfriend who knows how to deal with you? 

Nicky is a predator and Andrew is a violent abuser and neither of them are the good guys and that’s the only conclusion I can possibly draw from the way they’re written. 

Assorted noteworthy moments that didn’t fit into any larger part: 

the part in trk where Nicky’s parents are homophobic and he tells them he loves his fiance and this is the moment that’s supposed to make us sympathize with him? “The sexual predator has homophobic Christian parents feel sad for him” nice try Nora but he’s not getting shit in the way of sympathy from me, your straight is showing

the part in tfc when Seth says the f-slur is bad because uh. Nora that’s not your word to say

bonus Nicky is predatory bit: Nicky waggled a hand at Aaron. “Quick, have we said anything totally incriminating these past few months?” “Aside from your endless inappropriate comments about what you’d like to do to [Neil], I don’t think so.” (tfc pg 239) 

Kevin is also manipulative! I felt like covering it would be a bit of a rehash of Andrew and this was getting really long but he continually uses exy as leverage to get Neil to do things he feels will put him in danger the same way Andrew uses threats of sharing his secrets. 

bonus bonus Nicky is predatory bit (I’m discovering more and more as I go): Nicky’s stare was appreciative when Neil returned, but for once he kept his mouth shut. (tfc pg 243) Is this supposed to be character growth? Being predatory without explicitly saying anything is barely better Nora!! (Side note, in this same scene Nicky does make a comment about Neil jacking off in the bathroom stall which? Seems kinda bad considering everything else with him?)

I didn’t touch on it very much because no one cares about it and it’s way harder to convince people poor writing about drug abuse is bad than poor writing about sexual assault is bad (even though it shouldn’t be, and i could have tried both but again. long post) but Nora’s attitude to drugs and alcohol is bad. Every character and their mom is addicted to something, with Kevin and Andrew being the most obvious touched on (also Seth but I don’t think anyone cares about him), and Nora’s attitude towards writing it is quite frankly disgusting. She’s offensively misinformed and it pisses me off to no end. But that’s a rant for another day.

Every sex scene between Neil and Andrew is gross. (I think there’s two of them from what I remember? At least two, maybe more.) I googled plenty and I couldn’t find Nora’s age anywhere, but I know for a fact that she’s an adult, and I also know the series took her 13 years to write, so I’m fairly sure she’s at least in her 30s. 

I know I said I wasn’t gonna complain about bad writing but. It’s so bad y’all, and I honestly think it gets worse as the books go along. Every time Neil monologued it took a year off my life. 

So yeah. There’s a lot that’s fucked up about the foxhole court. And the worst part of it is that it never gets better. Andrew makes marginal improvement, but Nicky never does. Nora writes shock value scenes until the series end (I didn’t write about the scene in tkm where Neil gets tortured because it’s the same shock value effect of the thanksgiving chapter in a different sort of way but it’s also bad). I am of the honest belief that this book is far too fucked up to salvage. This is my official tfc bad masterpost, because every time I criticize it someone wants to know more. But I’m also putting it in the fandom tags because it annoys me to no end that y’all support these books, and I’m hoping I can at least change someone’s mind.