#felix catton angst

[entitled-fangirl]

So guilty.

Felix Catton x reader

Summary: An accident happens and the reader dies. Felix blames himself for it.

Words: 1,959

Warnings: spiked drink, death, drowning, cursing, makeout session, skinny dipping, guilty conscience

Author's note: Idea came from this request!!!!

Masterlist <3

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Felix and his girl had been together for what felt like an eternity. Truthfully, they'd been together a little over two years. But she spent many of her breaks at Saltburn with him, and his family adored her as one of their own. 

That’s what made things so difficult. She was practically one of them. 

Felix loved her more than the moon and the stars. She was his everything. He would eat, sleep, and breathe her if he could. She was his reason for waking up in the morning. And she was a beautiful sight to wake up to, indeed.

Like this morning.

Felix opened his eyes to see the sun peeking through his window, illuminating the bedroom. He leaned on one elbow to admire the sunrise before ultimately laying back down on his back. His head looked directly to his side to see his beloved girl. His angel.

She laid on her stomach, her face turned in his direction. Her cheek was slightly squished against the pillow, her hair an absolute wreck. But he found it so alluring. So perfect. Heavenly. Her pretty face lit up by the sunlight was the best thing his brown eyes had ever had the joy to witness. He let out a soft breath at the sight. One that woke her up.

Her eyes flickered open, before quickly closing again after seeing the sun in her eyes. She let out a light groan. “Mmm… ‘Morning, love.”

He grinned, his voice gravely from sleep, “‘Morning, angel. God, you’re such a pretty girl.”

She smiled, rolling over onto her back. A hand of hers came up to cover her eyes as she lightly rubbed them with the back of said hand. 

He wished he could save this moment in time forever.

But, like all good things, it must come to an end.

Duncan’s voice was heard outside the door. “Master Felix, breakfast is in thirty minutes.”

He leaned up on his elbow, his voice echoing, “Thank you, Duncan.”

They heard his footsteps retreat from the door.

Felix’s attention turned back to the girl in his bed. Her pretty face. Her perfect body. Her sweet sweet soul. “What do you wanna do today, angel?”

A silence fell over them before she opened her eyes again, staring at the ceiling. She thought for a while before turning her head to look at him, “Let’s drink the day away, huh? You and me?”

He didn’t need to be told twice. His lips pull into a grin before he gently kisses her forehead, “Anything my angel wants.”

…

Hours after breakfast, the two sat in the library, sharing a bottle of liquor. 

Felix’s parents didn’t mind. Not at all. They were the parents to encourage drinking in the house rather than out in bars and clubs, claiming it was best for them to realize their tolerance when safe at home. Felix didn’t care what morals they tried to teach. They could drink in the house, and that’s all he needed to know. 

The bottle sat half empty, the two feeling buzzed as they talked for hours. 

It didn’t really matter what the two talked about. Not at all. Felix could listen to her speak the alphabet for four hours and still think she was the most precious thing on earth. 

But it escalated after a while. The two lay on the couch, their bodies close as they made out. 

His hand was up her shirt, her hands pulling at his hair. He would never get tired of her pretty body. The small noises she made in pleasure. The way her body would react to his touches. He loved every second of it. 

She pulled away from him suddenly, her eyes staring at his lips. “Let’s… let’s go sw… swim, yeah? C’mon Lex.”

He takes a moment to consider, or as much as he could in his drunken state, “you sure, angel? It could be kinda cold…”

She nodded, “Pl…Please, Please Lex. Wanna swim… Wanna swim with you..”

He nodded, letting his fears go before they even became present.

… 

She pulled him across the dock excitedly. 

He set their basket and bag down before setting up their picnic. Well, as much of a picnic they could put together by themselves, two drunk college kids in love.

He laid out the blanket before setting down the other alcohol bottles he brought. He let her take a look at the bottles as he set each one down on the blanket. “Now, let’s waste the rest of the day like you wanted, angel.”

She quickly pulled off her swimsuit cover, revealing the cute red bikini she was wearing. 

He couldn’t help but stare. God, she was such a pretty thing. Too pretty. How he got her, he’d never know. She must’ve felt his stares because she grinned. “C’mon, Catton. You promised a swim…with…with me.”

He nods, opening one of the bottles in front of him. “I did. Just wanna… wanna buzz a little before I do… just…go…go ahead, baby girl….”

She didn’t need to be told twice. She grinned, running off the dock into the water. 

He grinned, laying down on the blanket and pulling the bottle to his lips. “Talk to me…”

She splashed the water around her, “Oh, Lex. This is incredible. This... yeah… good idea…”

His head nods, even if she couldn’t see it. He pulled his sunglasses on, not wanting to look directly into the sun above him. “Well… wasn’t my idea but… I’ll take… credit if it makes you happy…”

She giggles, “It does.”

Felix let the silence fall before changing the subject. “D’ya think Oli’s alright? He was acting weird yesterday…. Should… Should have I invited him to swim with us today?”

He could practically hear her grin in her voice. “Oh, Oliver doesn’t want to be here… this is for you…and me.”

He grinned, “What… what d’ya mean, angel?”

He’s hit in the face with a cloth. He pulls it up.

Her swimsuit pieces. 

He sits up, holding the pieces in front of him with a shit-eating grin. “Fuck, angel. You’re quite… quite wicked… aren’t you?” He took another swig of his bottle. 

She giggles from the water. “Aren’t you glad Oliver’s not here?”

He scoffed, “More than fucking happy… no one gets to see this but me, huh? Such a pretty girl…” He stood, stumbling slightly. How much of that bottle had he drank?

He shuffled forward on the dock until she was in his line of sight. The sight of her bare shoulders sent him into a frenzy. “Fuck…” He wished, just for a moment, that they were in a clean pool so he could see through the murky water. See her pretty body on display for him. 

She grinned, “Ya coming in, Lex?”

He let out a breath, “Jesus, angel. Yeah… yeah I…. I’ll be there.. Give me… give me a second.”

He walked back to the blanket, struggling to take off his shirt. He does so, tossing it in the bag before taking another swig of the bottle in front of him. 

He sets the bottle down and walks back to the end of the dock.

Where was she?

Oh, Fuck. Where was she?

“…Angel…?”

No response. 

His voice grew louder, “C’mon, angel. This isn’t funny.”

When he was met with silence, his mind quickly sobered him. His voice was loud, calling out desperately, “Angel… ANGEL!”

When no answer was heard, he jumped into the cold water. 

He surfaced, his head swiveling around to look for her. Any sign of her. Where the fuck was she?

His heart told him it was just a game, that she was hiding somewhere, but his head said differently. She didn’t play games like this. Not the worrisome kind. 

He began to swim further out in search for her. He hit the middle of the pond, looking around desperately. 

He had only turned his head for a second. A second. And she was gone. 

She was gone.

His family heard his heartfelt screams from the house.

…

A few days had passed, and Felix was beyond disrepair. His hair was unwashed, his facial hair grew in, and his eyes held a dull look compared to the bright shine they used to have.

He felt guilty. So guilty. 

He had killed her.

As much as people tried to convince him that it wasn’t his fault, that he didn’t do it, it didn’t matter. He still believed that he killed the one thing he lived for. And he killed himself in the process.

With Oliver’s party coming up, Felix couldn’t care any less. He felt guilty for not entertaining his guest, but what was he supposed to do? The poor mourning boyfriend couldn’t even sleep at night, his night terrors becoming worse every night.

Oliver broke the boy’s train of thought. “Felix?”

He looked up from the bottle in his hand, “…what?”

Oliver was saddened by the tired, heartbreaking look in Felix’s eyes. “I’m worried about you. You don’t sleep. Don’t eat… This isn’t what she would’ve wanted.”

“How do you know what she wanted” Felix’s voice growled. His hand tightened around the bottle. 

“I… I don’t know… It was just a thought, Felix. You really do need to care for yourself…”

The poor Catton didn’t even look up from the bottle this time, “You don’t know anything about me, Oliver. Now, get the fuck out.”

Oliver stumbled back, surprised by his harsh words before obeying them. 

…

Felix sat against the base of the statue in the maze. His eyes closed in thought. He should be happy. Partying. Having fun. Enjoying life. 

Life.

How could he enjoy his life when he ended hers?

He reached over to the newest bottle next to him, taking a big swig. 

He was a disgusting human being. How could he even be around a party after he did this? After he lost her? His angel. God, his fucking angel was dead. 

He finished off the bottle quickly, throwing it into one of the hedges. His head fells against the statue, his body relaxing. 

He heard rustling and opened his eyes.

Oliver rounded the corner of the maze, meeting Felix’s eyes. 

“Thought you’d be here…”

Felix’s eyebrows furrowed at the sight of Oliver’s antlers. “…the fuck you… you wearing, Quick?”

Oliver’s head tilted, “It’s for the party? How much have you been drinking, Felix?”

The boy’s shoulders shrug, “Doesn’t fucking matter….”

Oliver nods, “Well.. you have the wings on. I’m not that strange for my antlers… unless, of course, you’re too drunk to remember putting them on?”

Felix turned her head to look. Sure enough, a pair of gold wings were on his back. When the fuck did they get there? This whole time? He let out a groan, “I’m fine, Oli…”

Oliver sighs, “Yeah, sure bud.”

Felix noticed the mostly full alcohol bottle in Oliver’s hand, his eyes wandering to it. 

Oliver noticed it too. He held it up. “You want this?”

Felix nodded, holding out his hand.

And Oliver happily handed it to him with a shit eating grin.

“Just… don’t drink too much too fast, Felix. Got that?”

Felix nodded, “Fuck off. I… I’m fucking fine…”

Oliver nods. “Alright. I’m gonna go back to the party. Just… sorry, Felix.”

Felix took a large drink from the bottle, “What the fuck for?”

Oliver shrugs, “Everything, I guess. You got handed the wrong cards in life.”

He scoffed, “Go back to your party.”

Oliver does just that.

…

In the morning, Felix’s body was found in the maze, exactly where Oliver had last seen him. The bottle laid empty in his hand.

Oliver found peace knowing the two lovers were reunited in a much different place.

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[g1rlken]

obsessed/possessive felix catton 🫣

Oh. Oh absolutely.

Anon you’re so real for this one🤞

-

Obsessive felix

word count: 1.3k (one shot)

Warnings: the req +sorry if he gets a bit toxic

-

For someone who grew up with a second pair of everything irreplaceable items were rare for felix. Or people, most relations superficial, nothing money can’t buy. That’s why she was different. He had to work for her, to be noticed to gain her affection. As unusual as it was for him he didn’t mind it.

Before they even started dating, it was difficult for felix to try and get her attention. They had different majors and one friend group in common most of whose gatherings she rarely joined. Occasional weekends here and there. He asked about her around, causality came naturally to him so most didn’t suspect a thing. Her lectures, her schedule, library visits, he memorised it all within a time span of a few days.

Felix would pick up the book she’d be returning at library, at first it was only to get an insight to what she’s interested in. What she reads in order to strike a conversational of coincidentally having same interests. However her long kept book smelt like her fragrance. It made him question his sanity halfway through a book on fluid mechanics if he was trapped by the contents of the book or the scent of her from it, it was the latter.

Much pinning, much accident meetings later they’d finally hit off. From his own past patterns and experiences in romance felix knew he would feel less and less intensely for her once he’d have her. She surprised him. As did himself, his feelings grew much more intensely than decreasing.

He felt wholly consumed by the being of her and it still felt not enough. He wanted to be drenched like the sand by the sea during a storm, he wanted her to be the rays that open his life like the petals of a morning glory flower. Because in one sense she was the answer to his glory, the glory he’s had to work for. One he wanted to announce to the whole world that she was his and the one he wanted to shield from the whole world because she was his. And his only.

She brought a sense of grounded serenity with her, in the morning with her locks softly spilled over his chest as she’d sleep through her first alarm which would evidently wake him up before her but he’d be glad. Because it would result to let him have his most cherished moment, the softest of mornings with her in his arms. The second alarm would only make him hold her tighter, not wanting to let go off her so soon.

One would forgo and turn a blind eye to a lot of things for love, his tender love came at the expense of his intense one as well. Though he was the softest of lovers, with her behind closed doors. It could most certainly be felt being with him however at certain instances it could be accounted for just how fiercely he loved. Aggressive make out sessions at the party, if someone stared at her a bit too long. It got awkward at times, in his lap or against the wall in a crowded dimly lit room. Not for him of course, it could get overbearing at times though. “You always pull something like that!” She complained as they returned from this one party, felix thought his possessive traits were subtle.

“Like what? Like kissing you? My girlfriend?” He questioned with a scoff as he removed his jacket and hanged it on the door hanger inside her dorm room.

“No-but a whole make out session? There were people around!” She complained trying to reason with him, had she felt uncomfortable with it she could’ve told him during it but it wasn’t that. Yet there was something she couldn’t pinpoint or maybe chose not to.

“It was a party” he scoffed as he walked over to her and pulled her closer to him by her waist to pause her whining, “it’s common to make out with your girlfriend at a party.”

She pulled away from his grasp, not wanting to have the firmness of the conversation she was trying to have be dismayed “No it’s always like this, especially at parties. You basically manhandle me the entire time-“

“Manhandle you?” He stopped her midway, scoffing at the sound of her baseless proponent “Really? So dancing with you, kissing you is now manhandling you?”

“It’s not, but your arms around me, kissing my neck, trying to kiss me while I’m in the middle of a conversation with someone that’s so unideal.” She advocated for what she was trying to say, she knew he was always big on physical touch and she never once minded it. However it wasn’t the first time it had happened where she’d try to have a normal conversation with anyone and felix would kiss the nape of her neck as she’d talk, pull her into his lap if she was sitting next to him. Completely disregarding whoever she was conversing with.

“So having a conversation is much more important than being close to me?” He asked, his tone was mild and composure relaxed but he felt border line offended.

“That’s not what I’m saying…” she sighed rubbing her eyes for a second, “you know that’s not how I’m saying it-“

“—Oh no please enlighten me how much of an inconvenience it is if I kiss you in front of other people!” Felix interrupted her.

“We just seem like that obnoxious PDA couple everywhere we go! And it’s not just this party or parties in general-everywhere you just…” she trailed off looking for the right word.

“Suffocate you.” He filled in for her with a scoff and looked away from her crossing his arms.

“No.” She replied firmly “No you just get overbearing. Where does that come from, talk to me.”

“Do you seriously want me to justify myself for wanting to be close to my girlfriend? Do you hear yourself?”

“Do you hear yourself felix!” Exclaiming she sighed regaining her composure, “Its like you can’t stomach the fact that I exist outside of this relationship, why can’t you just commute and tell me what’s your issue?”

“You don’t get it do you?” He let out a dejected scoff and approached closer to her, “it is fucking infuriating to see you paint me out like I’m irrational-I’m not impulsive because I’m madly in love, y/n, I am madly in love with you and I know exactly what I’m doing. To safeguard what we have, after you the most precious thing that’s happened to me is our relationship. We come off as an obnoxious couple? I come off as possessive? Fuck it.” He stated confidently as he took her hands in his, “I care about you, your sense of self and individuality is very dear to me and I’m sorry if you feel otherwise. I’ve never been in this place before where losing someone would worry me but losing you terrifies me to my core. I’m not irrational, I'm maybe rational to the point of obsession. But I am just a man who loves you more than anything in this world.” His gaze never lifted off of her eyes the entire time and he felt a bit surreal having confessed his all-consuming, all-encompassing love for her. There was a sense of vulnerability in being freed of the truth.

“Felix…” she breathed as her gaze softened, his flaws were the same as hers in a different dynamic and he was rough around the edges but now after what he confessed? She saw his love in a different much serious and committed light. Devoted. She looked down at her hands in his and back up at him with a soft smile adorning her face, she didn’t know how else to reply to him so she just leaned forward brushing her lips against his in a passionate kiss. He held held her in his arms lengthening the kiss.

“You’re mine. Mine to protect, mine to love, mine to cherish.”

“—Yours.”

[sillyannlynn]

LIAR - FELIX CATTON

PAIRING: felix catton x fem!reader

GENRE: angst, pure angst

WORDS: 1,3k

WARNINGS: death (only mentioned), heartbroken reader, abuse, alcoholism, lies, felix is stupid, toxic relationship, ENGLISH ISN'T MY FIRST LANGUAGE SO SORRY FOR ABY MISTAKES.

Felix never understood why she never said anything about her father. He asked about him many times, but she always found a way to change a topic or acted like she didn't hear his question.

“I just don't wanna talk about it, Felix” she said as they were driving to her family house.

The girl saw that something was odd with her best friend, since he came back with Oliver from Liverpool the previous day.

“Why?” he pushed, but didn't answer for a longer moment.

“Ask my mum about it” she said finally, when he parked at the driveway. The girl didn't wait for him and left the car to open the door and step in. Felix locked the car and ran after her to see her hugging a woman, whom she looked alike.

“Hello” he said awkwardly standing in front of them.

“Ah, mama! This is Felix, been telling you about him” she announced and grabbed him by hand, so he stepped close to them.

“Nice to meet you, young man, I've heard plenty of stories about you” the woman said, smiling at him.

“Nice to meet you too” he replied and grabbed her for a hug.

“Go to the living room, kids, I'll make the tea” her mother announced and the girl took Felix to the room.

“Is that you?” he asked, pointing at the photo on the shelf, next to the books.

“Oh, yeah, it's little her” the woman said, as she entered the room. “This was taken at her first music competition” she added, making her daughter red. “She won it, I'm still so proud of her.”

“You didn't tell me you were taking part in competitions?” Felix turned around to his friend.

“You never asked,” she answered and stood up from the couch. “Then we were karting with girls” she said, while showing the photo of her at the karting track next to a kart.

“Oh, and this one is from the Grand Prix two years ago, when you were a marshall,” her mother cooed, pointing at another photo.

“I told you about that,” the girl reminded Felix, making him laugh. Yes, she had told him about it one time. “Come on, I'll show you around” she said and grabbed him by hand and took him upstairs.

“Your room?” he asked, watching her open the door.

“Yeah, welcome to my kingdom” she said and let him in.

“Yeah, it's definitely your room,” Felix laughed. He could see that she was the owner of it. The books that she's been telling him about, the film posters she told him she had watched, the Formula 1 related things - everything that was in that room was her.

“What happened yesterday?” the girl asked, when they were lying on her bed for a while. The bed was small, 90x200 centimeters and his legs were sticking out of it. He found this funny and was laughing until she asked.

“He's a, um” he started, not sure if he wanted her to know that. But she never lied to him, right? She wouldn't do that like Oliver did. She would never. “He lied to me. To all of us” he said finally.

The girl looked at Felix, not understanding what he meant. She saw how they were treating each other the previous day, but she didn't ask since he came to her room and started kissing her, banning her and himself from talking till breakfast.

“What has he done?” she asked and raised her head. She was worried about him. He was her best friend, her other half and she was really jealous of Oliver for the whole time, which Farleigh found hilarious and was making jokes about it to Felix when she wasn't around. And Farleigh liked her more, if he had to choose between her and Oliver who was better for his cousin, he would choose her without hesitation. She was normal in his opinion, not a liar like Oliver.

The girl loved Felix. She gave him her whole heart. But he didn't see it. His heart didn't belong to her, but her heart belonged to him. And it hurt her a lot.

She tried to leave him, for her own good, but she couldn't. He was so magnetic, so majestic that she just couldn't leave him.

Farleigh and her own friends saw how she felt and how Felix was blind about it. Farleigh tried, he really tried to do something but his cousin was as if he didn't have eyes and couldn't see anything about her.

Farleigh told her he felt sorry for her and that she should really leave him for her own good and that he knew it was hard, but she still couldn't. And Farleigh saw it.

Gosh, she spent the whole vacation with him and Venetia because Felix was always with Oliver and he seemed like she wasn't there until yesterday. She was his second choice and she knew it.

So she decided that it would be her last try to cut contact with him. For her own good.

“Felix, I'm not coming back to Saltburn with you” she announced, when he stopped talking about that liar.

He was shocked. Why would she say that? What has gone wrong?

“What? No, no, no, you're coming back” he replied, feeling betrayed.

“Mama said that the great-grandma is feeling worse and worse, Felix, I can't be not around her” she said the half of the truth. This was one of the two reasons she wanted to stay at home. “I can't do that to her,” she mumbled, tears forming in her eyes.

He would understand, right?

“I can drive you at any time here, I promise, just come back with me” he assured her and grabbed her face in his hands gently. “You can just leave me,” he said, looking into her eyes.

“Felix, you don't understand” she shook her head, as he made everything about himself. “I can't leave her now, I don't know how much time she has left,” she added. “You should stay for tonight and go back home tomorrow, it's getting dark” she said and he only agreed.

He didn't want to leave her, especially now.

During the night, Felix was walking through the house and looking for the water. He stood in the kitchen and saw his friend’s mother looking for something in the cabinet.

“Good evening” he mumbled and she answered. He got the water and stood for a moment. He had a battle inside if he should ask about that. And his curiosity won, so he asked: “I'm sorry for being rude, but anytime I asked your daughter about the father she never answered and recently she told me to ask you about him, so could you tell me something?”

“Oh, he was, let's say, not a good person” the woman started and sat on the chair. “I completely understand why she doesn't want to talk about him. She has some kind of trauma and she used to go to therapy, when she was younger” at these words he furrowed his brow. “He was an alcoholic and violent towards us, so you know” she stopped talking, not knowing what to add more. “Oh, and when he died it really hit her, even though she didn't talk with him for years.”

“I'm so sorry you had to go through this,” he said and wanted to hug the woman. He would never have thought that something like this happened to his best friend.

“It's okay now, young man, don't worry” she said and hugged him. “She's doing great,” she assured him.

He felt so stupid. He was such a dick for her sometimes.

Now he wanted only to make it up to her.

So when he was leaving he promised the girl that he was going to do everything for her, because she deserved it.

But he broke the promise. He never had done that, because he died and left her alone, without making anything up to her.

He was such a liar.

masterlist

[satelitis]

— FADE INTO YOU ♱ felix catton x reader

-> i think it’s strange you never knew.

pairings — felix catton x fem!reader

© content/ trigger warning — angst, hurt no comfort, right person wrong time (i’m evil), mentions of alcohol, death, loss of a loved one

juno yaps — i hate ollie & thank you @ivyppoison for encouraging me to write for felix and thank you @stvrlighttgabss for watching me endure this movie aka work of art / pos

requested? — yes/no

Rain's ambience was the only sound countering the silence at Saltburn. The shocking and devastating event of your best friend, Felix Cattons death had struck the whole estate with grief, and panged at their hearts. It felt like the tedious emotion was beating their insides with a stick, continuously.

You didn't know what to do with the information. Yet, it didn't matter, because all you could do was be paralyzed with anguish and the only way of expelling the trauma was crying, or screaming,however you couldn't even bring yourself to do either. You hadn't anyway, since the morning you found out.

The Saltburn Estate now lacked a sense of emotion and charm, Felix had brought and it plagued you with sorrow. Especially, considering Cupid had took his ghastly toll, and had struck you with his arrow, resulting in you pining and yearning for the dark haired boy.

God, you were so mad at him. Not for dying, not for leaving you too early, but for the simple fact that he was too goddamn oblivious to even give you five minutes together, happy and mutually in love. Giving you zero confirmation and satisfaction that you were star-crossed lovers destined to be. But, even Romeo and Juliet, despite being soulmates, had to reach their harrowing fate.

You and Felix only got to experience platonic interactions and it made you so regretful. If only you had stayed with him for five more minutes he would've took you into the maze, and not a random girl from the party. If only you had stayed five more minutes his death could've been avoided and you could be warm in each others embrace, lazily kissing, in the comfort of Felix's bed. But fate had other plans.

You weren't sure if you were supposed to be mad at yourself, or feel guilty for being too afraid to tell him your true feelings earlier, or if you were angry at Felix's oblivion. Wasn't it obvious? The way you looked at him alone, said a million words of adoration and infatuation. Wasn't one look enough? Obviously not.

And the worst part was, you were too late. At Olivers birthday party, you had enough of seeing Felix with all of these girls, not only at functions but back at Oxford as well. So you decided to face your fears and actually do something about the throbbing wound of Cupid's arrow, right in the bullseye of your heart.

You had always been studious and gifted at writing essays, so you did what you do best and wrote Felix a letter. You looked guiltily at it, as it sat on the night-stand. His name written in red sharpie on the front of the envelope. Your emotions, thoughts and true feelings towards Felix were laced upon the parchment and he never even got to know, let a alone see, touch or acknowledge the paper on which the confession was even made.

You sigh, getting off of the bed on which you had been residing for the better part of forty-eight hours, that being Felix's bed. Your hair was distressed, your shirt, one also of his and face stained, with old mascara and tears. You grabbed the letter off of the night-stand, and headed down the many corridors of Saltburn out to the burial spot in which Felix was lying.

The rain caused you to become drenched in a matter of seconds but letting Felix know your true feelings, rather late than never was way more important than worrying about the possibility of obtaining the common cold or worse Influenza.

You sat on the wet grass in front of the headstone. Trying to fight back the immediate tears that started to brim in your eyes, you spoke up.

"Erm, Hey Felix," you sniffed, "I really miss you a lot..." you paused, waiting for the one in a miracle chance of hearing his voice, and him telling you it was a cruel prank, but alas, with delusion comes reality and Felix's voice was never heard. You wiped your tears softly and proceeded to speak.

"I know it's too late and all but I wrote you a letter, I was going to give you..well I uh, did give you, I slipped it under your bedroom door, but uhm..you never came back to see it, so I'm going to read it now." you said, fumbling with the paper softly, tearing away at the envelope. You cleared your throat, quietly before reading the letter.

"Felix,

We've known each other since the beginning of our time at Oxford, and it's safe to say you're my best friend." you began, looking up at the headstone momentarily before continuing,

"However, there's something I haven't been telling you, and I've just been way to scared to tell you but honestly this would be way more easier if you weren't so goddamn oblivious." you chuckled softly, wiping your tears once more.

"So now Im being the bigger person and telling you that," you paused briefly taking a breath before continuing, however it's not like it mattered.

"I'm in love with you, and have been for a while now, Felix. I want to hold the hand inside you, I want to take the breath that's true." you admit to the boy, showcasing your plea he's never going to respond too.

"I look to you and I see nothing. You go off with all these other girls and it hurts because I want to be one of those girls, Felix. Not only one of those girls but the girl, Felix. I don't want to be another hookup, that's not what I'm saying, I'm saying that I want to have something real, be something real to you." you rant, like he's actually here and his fictious presence is making you flustered. You can almost see the teasing smile on his lips now.

"But I look to you to see the truth and I don't know what it is...you live your life, you go in the shadows. You go off with these other girls, you'll come apart and you'll go blind, to what's actually in front of you." you continued, "It's some kind of night in your darkness or a blind spot I swear, I thought I saw love in your eyes but I just colored them with what's not there." you confessed.

"I'm fading into you, Felix and it's kind of embarrassing that I'm falling this much for you, and quite honestly it's kind of strange you never knew." you gently confronted. "I'm literally a mess around you, even Venetia and Farleigh figured it out in a heartbeat. I'm honestly surprised they didn't say anything." you chuckled.

At this point, you were drenched, and the letter now fairly wet, and your handwriting just enough eligible that you could barely make it out.

"Long story short, Lix, I'm in love with you, I have been for the longest time and I will always be in love with you. Y'know like they said in those cheesy rom com movies we watched together, 'right person, wrong time.'" you recalled, now discarding of the letter in your first as you went from your heart.

"But goddamn, I'm so surprised you never knew." you admitted, shaking your head slightly a slight chuckle escaping your lips once more. The rain continued and you now concurred that it was time for you to go back inside. Things weren't going to change, you were still heartbroken, and will continue to be. Grief marked it's territory and has spread like mold throughout your body, but at least you know he knew.

[uselesssomebody]

does anyone wanna tell me what happens in saltburn.

i don't wanna watch it but i wanna write felix catton fanfic :( (on that note, if you guys have requests for him... drop a lil message)

[firemenenthusiast]

—“till death do us apart”

farleigh start x fem! reader

summary: sometimes even fate can be altered

warnings: angst. read at your own risk. plot twist. grammar of a non native english speaker

a/n: am i in my angst era ? also this is for mon cheri @farleighlover 😋 revenge for writing ‘numbingly obsessed’. this fic idea was like a bazooka shooting into my face i had to write it down

“What if we rewrite the stars? Say you were made to be mine. Nothing could keep us apart. You'd be the one I was meant to find”

the way the sun was shining brightly outside his window, soft amber glare richoceting off the balcony of his apartment told him that the even the universe was looking down upon them, blessing the entire day.-

it was cloudy, the sky hanging puffs of fluffy white, but not the type of cloudy that makes everyone moody, no. it was just nice, he thought, as he adjusted the gleaming links on his cuffs, black ribboned tux sitting perfectly on his broad shoulders. cocking his head slightly to the side, his tight dark brown curls bouncing out of his face making him shudder in anticipation. or was it nerves ? he couldnt really tell, too many staggering emotions filling into his head, fighting each other for a place behind those eyes. taking a last deep breath, he adjusted himself in the mirror before turning towards the door, pair of leather shoes carrying him away.

it’s been five years since your class graduated from oxford, or should you call it your alma mater now. it was probably the greatest day ever, being finally done with excruciatingly painful days of all nighters, pushing through everything else just to chase after submission dates. as much as you’re glad that it’s all over, the collection of memories with people there wrapping you like a fuzzy blanket. the only thing making oxford the best phase of your life is the people there. your friends, your dormmates, your classmates, felix, oliver, farleigh.

and farleigh.

everything was better because you got farleigh. he was always there for you, supporting you, making you feel like the luckiest person in the world that out of all the girls in oxford that he could easily get with, he chose you. and you chose him. i mean, it wouldn’t really be anything between the two of you if you didn’t give him a chance. as much as you liked him before the start of your relationship, you weren’t gonna let him in that easily. just thinking about how much you made him suffer to win you over made you let out a soft chuckle. you’d throw the bouquet of fresh flowers he’d left on your designated seat in class immediately after seeing them and god, was that humiliating for him. one thing farleigh absolutely couldn’t stand was being humiliated, or rejected. but he pushed through, he refused to give up because he liked you so much. he’s willing to fight through everything if it meant that you’d just give him a chance. he suprised himself with how much he was doing just to make you accept him, cuz he swore he would never be down so bad just for a girl. but for you, all that pride and need to maintain his reputation just got thrown out the window.

you and farleigh, it was like the two of you were made for each other, maybe it was your fault for not seeing that sooner but your relationship with him was everything to you after you gave in and give him a chance. it was like red blood, pumping oxygen to every part of your existence, he was like air to you. farleigh made you happy, made you feel all giddy whenever he’d wait outside of your class for you to finish so the two of you could grab lunch together, he was your yellow, your rock. at times you could feel your heart grow even fonder of him, slowly falling head over heels. his bright pearly smile fuelled your entire being, you catch yourself secretly grinning whenever you’d think of him. he was very charming, though sometimes so annoying and bratty. you didn’t care, if anything he was your annoying brat. whenever the two of you would spend the whole day wrapped in each other’s arms, you’d let out the biggest sigh of contentment after getting back to your dorm. farleigh protected you, shielding you from anything that was gonna hurt you, from physical dangers to the emotional ones when you’d struggle with your mental health. he knew everything about you, he knew the tricks and tweaks of winning over your heart. he was your guardian angel.

you’d also noticed how beautiful of a day it was outside, and you were thanking the universe for granting the both of you a chance for this day to be as beautiful as it could be. it was everything you’ve ever dreamed of, and it was exactly like how you’d imagine and daydreamed about it to be since you were a little girl. from the gorgeous white gown draped down your figure to the personally hand arranged bouquet of flower that you were gonna carry down the aisle. it was perfect, and so is the fact that you were gonna marry the love of your life. you couldn’t be more excited, scared and nervous. everyone had told you that it’s normal to be nervous, it’s probably the biggest moment in your life and you couldn’t risk it being even slightly ruined. everything had to be perfect, and they actually were. getting ready in the dressing room, you paced around to get your mind off things that you were overthinking about. what if you stumbled and ripped your gown ? what if you puked in the middle of the walk because you were too nervous ? in that moment you just wanted to tell your bridesmaid to go get your fiancé. you knew he could calm you down easily, he always did. little did you know that he was also taking deep breaths to cool himself down in another room.

the sleek black tux hugging farleigh nicely around his torso and his bust. the sleeves, perfectly tailored and not a single inch longer than it should be. he looked dashing, handsome even. but when is it that he doesn’t? stepping onto the venue, his chin tilted upwards, feasting his eyes upon the beautifully decorated hall. a small smile crept itself across his lips. it was just like how you always told him how you would like the place to look like when you get married. farleigh had always kept a mental note on the details, from the choice of flowers standing tall along the aisle, to the soft hue of innocent yellow dimly lighting up the whole place. you always had a vision when it comes to your wedding day, and he would listen to you talk about it, nodding away and even adding his own points on how he wanted his wedding to be. he had immaculate taste too, of course. chirping in to give you suggestions after suggestions just to make sure the vision of his and your wedding day was perfect. he didn’t really care, the only vivid thing he could imagine was the image of you standing in front of him, looking as pretty as always, smiling up at him as he vowed to take you as his lawfully wedded wife. it was innocent how the two of you would dream about this day.

guests were starting to fill up the venue, settling themselves down on their designated seats as few of them were seen chatting up with each other, smiles decorating their faces. both your families were moving around efficiently, making sure that everything was in order for the ceremony to move smoothly, while you waited in the dressing room, carefully adjusting and making sure that your make up and hair were put together flawlessly. “you nervous?” you heard venetia speak, as you turn your head towards her, smiling. your eyes trailed along the beautifully sewn hem of your gown. “of course i am, i would be lying if i said im not” letting out a soft sigh, your eyes glanced towards her. “how’s farleigh ?” you asked her, before she took both your hands in hers, firmly grabbing onto the palms as she cocked her head to the side, beaming at you. “he’ll be alright” she responded, shortly. “you ready ?” to which you nodded, offering her a quick smile.

the walk from the dressing room to the hall felt like forever, as steps after steps burned memories into your head, everything felt so surreal yet too real at the same time. as you carefully line your walk in the heels with the tail of your gown making it a sport, you began to notice familiar faces sitting at the back row, already beaming at you with their hands cupped against their chests. you offered them a warm smile, desperately using it to hide the all new emotions you were currently feeling. you were now already standing at the end of the aisle, in the middle of everyone, as all eyes were set on you. you tried your best to flash the prettiest smile, like you had practiced for only like since forever. farleigh’s eyes immediately set themselves on you, his eyebrows dropped as his dark orbs began to gloss, a small breath got caught in his throat as it seemed like he had forgotten how to breathe. he was getting lightheaded with how similar you looked with the vision he had of you being his bride. just when he thought you couldn’t get anymore beautiful, you began to walk down with the white veil over your head, fresh flowers neatly grasped in your hands. you looked pure, breathtakingly beautiful in white. it was almost like the angels had lent you their beauty for that exact moment, for you to wear as you slowly step towards the altar.

your eyes met farleigh’s, a knowing look being exchanged between the two of you. you almost laughed at how touched he looked, he would be caught dead first before this to even show that he had deep emotions for someone but for you, he didn’t care. anything for you. all the nervousness suddenly disappeared as you carefully step onto the elevated platform at the end of your slow walk, joining your fiancé before facing each other, huge smile plastered across your faces. all of that ruckus and chaos before your wedding day has led to this moment, as you take it all in that it was finally happening.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the love of these two as they come together in marriage.” the officiant started right as the two of you were ready. after exchanging rings, he started his vows first, which almost made you cry but happiness flooded through the feeling.

“…I promise to cherish you always, to honor and sustain you, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, and to be true to you in all things until death alone shall part us.” as you finish your vow, you could feel your feet starting to perform little jumps of excitement. turning your head towards the officiant, he could see that you were already getting impatient. smiling to himself, he looked over to the crowd before saying the magic words

“By the power vested in me by the state, I now pronounce you husband and wife !” you almost squeak before leaning over to kiss your now husband, gently pressing your lips over his soft ones, your cold fingers cupping his cheeks as a roar of applause filled the hall. the crowd stood up to cheer, bright smiles complimenting the decorations in the hall.

it was exactly like you imagined, except this time it wasn’t farleigh that you were kissing.

as farleigh clapped for the both of you from his seat, he couldn’t help the proud smile pushing itself to form on his lips, as his eyes begin to water. he immediately reached up to wipe them off quickly, yet obvious tint of red could still be seen if one were to examine his face closely. but he wasn’t worried of that happening, because he wasn’t the main subject of today’s ceremony, no. he was just happy to be here, cheering for you and your husband. he would be lying if he didn’t think about how it would be if it was him instead on the altar, kissing you away from all the doubts that he had put you through over the last few years of your relationship. he knew that you and him, the two of you were supposed to be endgame. it was supposed to be him, slipping the ring onto your finger, before kissing over them. he knew all that, yet nothing could win over a fight with his own issues, nothing could beat his own mind in a game called love. he wanted to give up on love long ago but you showed him the bright end of the tunnel, and he will always be grateful for that. for now, he would have to make peace with the fact that you’re no longer his, and he no longer has a place in your heart. it’s not like he doesn’t want all of this, he really does. hell, he had thought about this exact day countless times when you were his, just that he imagined it to be him who will get to say his vows on how he was gonna love you till death do the both of you apart. everything else was pretty much just how he had imagined it to be, especially how beautiful you looked.

the two of you had promised that the relationship had to end with marriage, and that after graduation nothing was gonna change. but promises are meant to broken aren’t they ? he changed, a lot. you did too. farleigh struggled with himself after graduation, with the fact that he didn’t have anything left in the uk, him being done with oxford left him no reason to keep staying with the cattons. he didn’t want to leave, he begged for sir james to keep letting him stay, saying that he would do anything with the best he had, building a career over the estates in saltburn, anything. anything just for him to able to stay here, with you. he was afraid that if he left, everything will be different and he’d lose you. so he worked, really hard. struggling to make his own money to put them into his own little apartment. little did he know, he lost himself in the process, along with what he had with you. warm embraces and chuckles after laughters turned into hurtful arguments. your usual warm spot on his bed turned cold, as your dent on his mattress slowly disappeared. it’s not like you didn’t fight for him, you truly did. but you realised that what the two of you had, was only nice while it lasted. and you struggled to make peace with that, but not as much as he was. you were everything to him, and losing you just meant losing himself.

when you told him that you were getting married, he looked really happy, as he pulled you in a tight hug. it felt safe, and you could feel that he was genuinely happy for you. you’re glad that after all, you were still able to be close with him, only now as friends. he was happy to receive the wedding invitation, having set it up on his empty kitchen table so he wouldn’t miss it for the world. he still loved you, so much as he wouldn’t want to miss watching you on your happiest day, even if it wasn’t because of him. even if it wasn’t with him. seeing you happy was enough for him. knowing that you were happy, he forced himself to accept that fate couldn’t be rewritten. how he wished it is, because then he would get to write your name in his stars again and again, and again. as many times as he could as long as in the end, you’d end up in his arms.

as the getaway car began to roll its wheels, he looked at you flashing the prettiest smile ever, waving at him. he returned the smile, masking in the reasoned melancholy down his chest. the car started to drive away slowly before his smile slowly pressed itself away against his lips. it has now turned to a smile knowing that he once had you, and he would forever cherish that. the crowd began to dissipate, some gradually walking away to leave, some getting back inside to continue their chats, some even talking about how gorgeous of a wedding it was, and that they were happy for you and your husband. farleigh stepped down the stairs to a gravely ground, his leather shoes digging into the coarse pebbles as he leaned back onto the stone post at the end of the stairs, his hand reaching into the pocket of his slacks. noticing someone approaching his spot, he glanced to the person to see felix, his hands tucked into his pockets before he reached out, asking for a stick from farleigh. he lit the cigarette in his fingers before reaching over, cupping his hand over the flame to lit felix’s.

puffing his first drag, farleigh chuckled at felix at the situation. “how you holding up ?” he heard felix ask, his light brown hair flipping over as the soft wind grazed their skin. farleigh tilted his head down, quietly playing with the pebbles with the tip of his shoes with a burning cigarette dancing between his fingers. “i’m gonna be okay” nodding, he assured felix. “that’s good” he chirped back, he knew how bad farleigh was hurting, but he also knew that his cousin would be caught dead first before showing deep emotions to anyone. felix were also sure that the two of you were really gonna end up together. it was only right to him. he wasn’t sure about what happened, but he could feel how bad the pain was violently ripping farleigh apart. he could only pray that it gets easier, as he didn’t want to lose him too.

“i know you loved her mate” felix started

“i still do” farleigh responded, his head hanging low

“-just differently now”

shaking the burned bits of the cigarette from his fingers, ashes falling down onto the ground as they both sat in silence, quietly enjoying the gentle breeze of the wind.

taglist: @farleighlover @r4vn @love-me-pls @radioloom @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha @luckystrikerealness @juniperhasfallen @themoonchildwhofell @khxna @fuckshitslover @szapizzapanda

[c4qwp]

felix catton x fem!reader

| you understand.

📎 tags : angst, female reader, felix being older than you by a year, fanon of felix be i'm such a bad writer guys, bad orthography, felix being a bit annoying but also a cutie patootie, (y/n) not mentioned, angst asfff

📎 author's note : don't hesitate to comment to help me to progress! english isn't my first language, idk if felix is fanon but i tried my best to write him like i how i see him

you would have seen it coming.

"i think we should break up."

so faint and uncertain, barely more than a whisper.

he looked uncomfortably hunched over, his forearms resting on the table, his breakfast untouched, like he was trying to make himself smaller than you, which was ironic considering you envied his nerves of steel, and of course he was smaller than you shorter It was a very embarrassing moment for a handsome man, but not this kind of moment. Never this weakness.

although the winter sun shines through the windows, the kitchen is still dark and the unpleasant feeling of unusual transparency is almost suffocating. felix isn't the type to get flustered in public, which makes you even more nervous, just when you think you've had all the training you need to imagine scenarios and possible breakup possibilities in every direction.

he didn't dare look at you, shaking his head nervously, choking silently. "say something."

howfunny that he's the best thing you know and can lift you up with one arm effortlessly — his biceps are literally the size of your head, but he says if anyone touches him, he'll cry right now.

It's also a hard pill to swallow, and it's not true that you did this to him, weakening him. you didn't know you had that much power over him yet; and he said he wanted to break, but if he actually said he did, he'd throw up. you shifted in your seat, the wood of the chair suddenly digging into your skin as your body became hyperaware of everything around you, turning your attention away from felix and crossing your hands in your lap.

the answer is on the tip of your tongue, where it has been hidden for months. of course you let him go, and what makes it easier is accepting his warning that half the things about him will be absent and secret, or knowing from the start that your time with him will be limited.

you just don't hesitate; completely overcome the first four stages of grief and begin to accept with ease.

felix catton was essentially ephemeral, either a dreamer or a visible absentee in the present moment of your life. you think of him as an outside cat who was never yours to begin with, appearing randomly and unwittingly when he wanted, a flighty, mysterious companion who was happy and eager to be around.

you don't know if he loves you so much. everyone loved felix. everyone wanted to be around him. the love was there, enough to last a long time, but you thought it was because you were secure and stable.

you were glad you gave him that, if only because you honestly weren't sure what he saw in you.

what was going on was easy enough to experience and because of that you didn't allow yourself to get too attached to him because you knew he didn't love you as much as you loved him. maybe you're kidding yourself, maybe you're sleepy and not as cool as you thought, but you're convinced that's the way it should be, the way it should be.

what's the point of realizing your name isn't at the top of his list?

are you even were you good enough for him? a feeling of insecurity has been itching you for a long time. you may have been beautiful and intelligent, but were you the first in his eyes?

you can't ever be mad at him. you wanted to be with him knowing the way he is, after all. felix is a mess despite trying not to show it, his messy straw-brown hair doesnt shine like it usually does. he hasn't gotten enough sleep in more than a couple days because of his family's issues. time whenever he has to be away for an unprecedented amount of time, or gets buried too long in his pub. wearing a white shirt, he looked very casual and didn't seem to beg to be singled out. feel sorry for him.

"alright."

he snapped his head up, his eyes immediately meeting yours, and they were no longer blank. he looked unsure if he had heard correctly and had a look of disbelief on his face. "wait what?"

your fingers traced the rim of your teacup, mimicking felix's eager movements. "you can start packing today, but if you want to stop today, i don't mind..."

"no, wait-"

"i said yes, felix."

he frowned at the name, his eyes looking away from you for a moment, and he had to blink, and you thought that not having your usual nickname had hurt him. He had to swallow before he could speak.

"and that's it?"

you don't know if this is an attempt to end your relationship or if you want to let him go easily. you do not get it. what can you say.

"what do you want me to say?"

he sighed, looked away, wiped his forehead with his hand and covered his eyes. yes, not that your hopes are in vain. you have to say no.

he's as handsome as ever, but of course he'll want to know how comfortable you are, and he won't appreciate it when he changes his design. "i heard and will agree so we co—"

"aren't you mad at me?"

this is really what he thought first?

"i don't want to get upset."

"why...?"

"well, ..." because you love him, but talking about him will make it harder.

"i'm not sure. but we are both adult and need to talk like one. i think you and i have been very good together all along. I'm not mad at you for anything. understand."

he had such a subtle, sarcastic look on his face that if you were a complete stranger you would have thought it was sarcasm, but you knew better. He insulted himself. you can read it. but you should think about it. you should be mad at him. why the fuck is he upset. things about felix seem too good to be true, his only flaw is that he is a literal playboy. but of course stopped all his relationships with other girls, right?

"don't you want to know the reason? i mean, my god, why are you taking it so passively?"

"what do you mean?"

it's hard for you too.

"how can you not be so affected?"

"It's not like that. If you want to break up, i can't make you stay, or do anything you don't want to do. that's not fair to any of us. you will be with someone you don't want, and i would know im with someone who doesn't want me."

he shook his head, brown hair framing his face, which floated gently in the air. when he strongly disagrees

with something you say, but decides to say no at the last minute, he'll furrow his brows in anger and you'll feel a little disappointed because he's not denying that he doesn't want you. "you're always doing that, you're always doing that..getting mad. you must be mad at me."

"felix. I'm just tired of all this. you want to beak up and i said yes."

he just said, "I'm sorry,"

he hated it, that was all he had to offer you, and it showed on his face. sit in the chair next to him, you both need some good communication privacy right now. "but i have plenty of time to cry, okay?

"it's not like i'm accepting it or being negative or anything... and"

"grieving?"

his eyes search yours for a moment, the realization making him gasp and his eyebrows raise, making him look younger and more innocent.

looking forward to it.

"yeah, i mean.." pressing your lips together.

"look at us. in the long run, this doesn't work. It's not real. i don't know how we got here."

his pupils swallowed all the blue in his eyes, and he had never looked at you with such hostility until the hair on your arms stood up. "did you just think about breaking up?"

"why are you mad at me now? what have I done? you're the one who broke up with me."

"you weren't happy at all. haven't you always been sure?"

"i was and i still am. it's just...you've changed, felix. you're not looking at me like before. i don't know if it's because of me that you've changed but i was here for you every single time. but no mister doesn't want to talk so go to the pub and come back all drunk and doesn't give a shit about me. so yeah i was confused about a time and wasn't sure."

his eyes were finally on you. he called your name, repeated it. "i'm so sorry, love. i'm so-"

"no felix. i'm tired. so please leave me alone for a time and let's talk an other time."

there was a blank of 2 minutes. as you wanted to say another word,

"i understand."

[zombisarchive]

HATE ☆

mdni. long fic. not proof read.

dom! felix catton x sub! f! reader

warnings: slight angst, smut, p in v, degradation, slight biting, slight hair pulling, sub & dom, pet names, slight begging, slight praising, hate fucking, anxious reader

Felix had been upset with me all day. Do I know what I did? no. Over and over again I’ve asked what’s wrong, what did I do, and over and over again I’ve been met with the same reply, “You know what you did.” Call me over dramatic but the way he’s been acting has been eating me alive. What had I done? As the day came to an end, I contemplated on if I should spend the night in his dorm. I paced my dorm room for what felt like hours, my roommate completely tired of me, “what are you doing?” her words snapped me out of my pacing, “Felix is upset with me, and I don’t know what’s I’ve done” She rolled her eyes at me, she hated when I spoke about Felix, mainly because she use to be his old fling, but now that he’s seriously in a relationship with me, she can’t come around to it yet. “It’s serious, Maddie! He won’t even tell me what i’ve done wrong!” And exasperated sigh left my mouth, I felt like i was going crazy. It has been practically a full day and he made no effort in telling me what I’ve actually done to upset him. “Your boy troubles aren’t my problem” Maddie said as she turned her back to me.

Of course she was no help. I decided to take matters into my own hands, I left the dorm room, marching myself to his. Knocking rapidly on his door, he opened the door, assuming I’d be greeted differently he greeted me with a struggle face, “what?” He was still upset at me! “We need to talk..” I said as I fiddled with my fingers, he stepped aside letting me inside the dorm, closing the door behind me. “Go on, speak.” Felix said sternly, if he wasn’t driving me absolutely insane right now, I would have melted at his feet. “What’s been with you today? You’re acting cold, and you’re clearly upset with me! Yet you won’t even tell me what I’ve done!” He rolled his eyes at me, “you seriously aren’t going to own up to it? that’s so pathetically low of you!” Felix’s voice was raises, this took me by surprise. I stood there shocked not saying a word as he continued “Yesterday at that party Far took us to? hm? You were practically throwing yourself to some random man!” My jaw dropped “What?! when the hell did i do that?” “Oh my god stop lying! jesus christ, I can’t your such a slut, just throwing yourself at any man” Felix was fuming at this point, I could see that his ears were turning red, meanwhile I felt like my heart was about to come out of my mouth, did he really think that lowly of me? “your joking right?” Felix let out a frustrated sigh, “I don’t know if you were too drunk to remember but I clearly remember you throwing yourself at a man” “you’re crazy, I’d never do that! drunk or not!” Truth be told, I was completely wasted, I don’t remember much of that night, other than coming back to Felix’s dorm. “Jesus Christ..” He ran his fingers through his hair stressed out. “I don’t remember much of anything from that night Felix, how am I supposed to remember this? I’m sorry if i did that but you cannot blame me for a drunken act!”

Another frustrated sigh came out of his mouth, then silence, “if your so sorry, beg on your knees for forgiveness.” My jaw dropped a little, as I stared at him, he was completely serious. “okay fine..” Getting down on my knees, I looked up at him, “please forgive me..i’m sorry i flirted with another man..please Felix” A smirk spread across his face, that little shit, he was never really upset, was he? “see, that wasn’t so hard was it baby?..acting like a dumb slut when drunk, can’t believe it” His words shooting straight to my core, I felt hot and bothered. His large hand went straight to my hair tugging at it, my head jerked back as I looked at him more clearly. “your going to be a good girl and get on the bed for, aren’t you?” I nodded my head quickly, feeling him let go of my hair, I scrambled to his small bed. He slowly crawled his way onto the bed, pushing me down, my breath hitched. I felt powerless under his intense gaze. Felix’s hands ran up my thighs, as they stopped at my waist band, pulling my bottoms off roughly, he pushed my legs apart kissing up my thighs, biting at him. A whimper left my lips as he bit down on my thighs hard, “Felix..” I moaned out, as I watched him sit up undoing his belt. “shut up, you’ve pissed me off enough today” Felix said in a husky tone, his fingers run up my slit, sending shivers down my body. I felt his thick long fingers shove their way inside me, pumping inside me, moaning out loudly not caring if anyone heard, calling out for him “Felix!..baby please” whimpers and moans left my mouth, as he continued to fuck me with his fingers, before abruptly pulling them out.

A whine left my lips again, watching him was he pulled out his erect cock, pumping himself in his hand. “You’re going to take it all tonight..raw” I gulped as his words, nodding at them in agreement. “been such a stupid slut haven’t you? whoring yourself out” Felix said as he aligned himself up with me, pushing his cock deep inside me, he groaned as I moaned out, “fuck! Felix!..” I felt him slowly thrust inside me, god did it feel amazing. “gonna teach you a lesson..” He muttered out as he took hold of my hips gripping them tightly, his pace quickens as he thrusts hard. Groaning out for me, I reached out to hold him only to be met with him slapping my hands down, “don’t. you don’t deserve it after slutting around” “I’m sorry!..” I stuttered out over and over, he could tell i’m clearly cock drunk. Being manhandled by him was euphoric. I knew he wasn’t going to let me cum, after all I didn’t deserve it. His pace slightly slowed as his thrusts became stuttered, he was close and I could tell. I clenched myself around his cock, he let out a loud moan, “fuck!” He yelled out, “keep clenching around me like that..fucking hell..” biting my lip I did as I was told, I felt myself moving my hips upward to his thrusts, his nails digging into my skin as he fucked me roughly. Felix let out another groan as I felt him shoot his cum deep inside me. “Felix!” I moaned out feeling him cum inside me, his thrusts slow long down, and coming to a stop completely. He stayed inside me, panting and breathing heavily as he came down from his high.

Felix slowly pulled himself out of me, his hands roaming up to my my body, touching me all over. “you know I don’t mean those words right, Love?” His tone much softer compared to earlier, I nodded as I caught my breath “i know baby” “you were so good for me tonight..” He gave me a stupid smile, as he leaned down kissing up my stomach maintaining eye-contact with me. “How about I let you cum this time?” He said with a stupid grin, I rolled my eyes playfully at him “finally.” “shut up” Felix said with an eye roll.

☆requests open!

☆this was kinda bad. it’s my first time trying to write proper fanfics, w/ smut.

[entitled-fangirl]

The cold ground provided no comfort.

Felix Catton x reader

Summary: The reader finds Felix in the maze after a strange encounter with Oliver. They decide to drink their problems away.

Words: 910

Warning: drinking, death, poisoning, cursing.

Author's note: This was a request and DUDE IT'S GOOD! Here's the original ask: "hi! can you write something where the reader is Felix's best friend (they both have feelings for each other), and she finds him just as Oliver leaves him in the maze with the bottle of alcohol he drugged. neither reader nor felix know it's spiked so they're drinking it together and they die together? if it's too much you can totally ignore this!" Hope I did it justice!

Masterlist <3

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She pushed her legs to move faster as she ran through the maze in search for Felix. She had been to Saltburn many times, and she had been through this maze just as many, but now it felt like she knew nothing of the place. 

But she knew Felix was there. Of course, he would be there. That’s where he goes to think or when he’s overwhelmed. They often shared intimate moments at the heart of that maze when things became difficult. She loved those moments with him. She loved the feeling it gave her when he wrapped his arms around him. She loved the look in his eye when she said something witty. She loved when his lips would pull into a smirk. God, she loved him. But, she would never admit so.

Her sprinting was interrupted by hitting what felt like a brick wall. 

Oliver.

Oliver Quick was a confusing being. While initially she was excited to have him stay at Saltburn with the Catton’s, she slowly grew to see that he was a little more than strange. 

She balanced herself, gawking at him slightly. “Oh, Oli. Thank god. Have you,” she paused, catching her breath, “Have you seen Felix?”

Though it was dark, she could still see the hesitant look in his eye. He turned his body to the side, pointing in the direction he had just come from.

She nods, placing a hand on his shoulder, “Thank you. Thank you so much.” She began to walk in that direction before stopping. “You okay, Oliver?”

“I’m not sure.”

She nods. This party was becoming a nightmare. But she didn’t have time to make sure he was alright. She needed to find Felix first. 

She needed to know he was alright.

Her legs began to sprint again in search of him. And, she finally found him.

She rounded the corner, letting out a soft breath at the sight of him. He was so beautiful. 

He stood, leaning against the statue that lay in the middle of the maze. His angel wings were still on him. It was dark, but she could see in his stature that something was wrong. Very wrong.

She approached him slowly, her feet crunching the ground with every step.

He turned, an angry look in his eyes. They immediately softened seeing that it was her. “Oh, angel. Didn’t hear you.”

She nods, continuing to close the gap between them. “Sorry. Had to see you were alright.”

His lips pulled into the grin that she loved so much. “Yeah, angel. Just… had something happen.”

She rested her hand on his chest gently. “With Oli?”

He nods. 

She wished she could take the heartache from him. The pain. She would carry it deep within her heart if she could, just to keep it from reaching his soul. He didn’t deserve any of this.

She looked down to see the alcohol bottle resting on the ground. “You been drinking, Lex?”

He nods again, his shoulders relaxing under her touch.

She shrugs, “Well, don’t let it go to waste, huh?”

He grins slightly. “I like the way you think, angel.”

Angel. Her heart always lept at the word every time it came from his lips. His angel. She was his angel. 

 He reached down to pick up the bottle, pulling it to her lips.

…

A little while later, and a few drinks later, they both sat on the ground. His back rested against the base of the statue, her back against his chest. Her head laid against his shoulder. She felt his lips began to kiss her neck. “…Fe..?”

He hums.

“W… what.. you doing?”

His lips grin against her neck, “Dunno. But… it feels… right.”

He was right. This felt right. It felt perfect. Like they were meant for each other. 

She moved her head to look at him, their faces inches apart.

“I… I think I… I love you, Lex.”

Their lips were mere inches from touching. 

He stared down at her lips, his jaw clenching and unclenching. 

Perhaps this was a bad idea. They were both quite drunk, and their friendship meant everything to each other. But they didn’t care enough to worry if this would ruin them.

He leaned in to her, their lips brushing before she pulled back with a horrid feeling. “Imma be sick…”

She crawled forward in case she would vomit. Something felt wrong. Perhaps it was alcohol poisoning. She already knew the hangover tomorrow would be horrendous.

He pulled himself to his feet ungracefully. He stumbled towards her, falling to his knees at her side. “Angel…?”

She let out a groan. “Just… hold me, Fe…? Pl… Please?”

Even sober, he would never deny her.

He pulls her to him, letting his arms wrap around her as her head laid on his chest. She could feel his uneven breaths in her hair.

“I feel… dizzy, Lex. I’m… tired…”

“Fuck. Lay… Lay down. Let’s lay down.”

He pulled her down with him, their bodies laying on the cold dirt. He rested on his back, his eyes closed and his hand still on her waist. She cuddled close to him, her arm laying over his torso.

His voice was a mutter, “Close your eyes, angel. I.. I gotchu.”

She didn’t need to be told twice.

Her eyes closed.

….

The two lovers lay dead in the morning, holding each other close, for the cold ground would never provide comfort to the lost.

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[g1rlken]

⊹ ࣪˖Dreadful Birthdays⊹ ࣪˖

Felix catton x rich fem!reader

Word count: 3.3k

Warnings: angst, shitty father, death of a parent, hurt comfort, childhood trauma, curse words?

Summary: start of a friendship on a lie to umbrella issues with opening up, fluff?

Standing outside, away from the party in a quieter atmosphere to attend a phone call in the small of the currently empty smoking zone garden outside the pub. Wearily y/n paced around in small steps as she talked on the phone, “But why?” She asked in distressed as voice on the other line seemed to reason something. “My break’s not that long I can’t come next month! You said-“ she was cut off with a reply on the call midway.

“Why do you always do this? Why does it always have to be this way?” She argued yet a faint softness remained in her tone despite her frustration. “This is really unfair-you can’t do this to me last minute-“ the ongoing call was declined from the other like halfway through her sentence as she heard the monotone beep. She felt like throwing her phone on the ground, instead she kicked the metal vase instead. “Fucking arsehole!” She cursed to herself as a clearing of throat made her turn her head.

“Everything alright out here?” Felix asked her, he’d came out for a cigarette in the smoking zone but happened to listen the last of whatever ordeal she was going through with someone on the phone and seemed hugely upset about it.

“Oh-uh yeah.” She nodded hastily somewhat embarrassed he may have heard that and her swearing at the metal vase. Felix didn’t exactly know her, but y/n did. Like everyone’s dynamic with the ever so charming Felix.

“You’re..” he trailed off trying to remember her name because he did recognise her from some of their past meetings and he’d seen her around campus often, “Y/n? Yes y/n right? You were the TA last semester who returned assignments with stickers.” He mentioned and chuckled slightly.

“I’ve gained a reputation with the English majors?” She joked raising her brows with a small smile, surprised he remembered her.

“Rightfully so.” He nodded smiling, “I’m Felix.” He introduced himself lending out his hand for her to greet as she accepted but let out a huff.

“I know you.” She said in an obvious tone and reciprocated the smile on his face.

“So who was the fucking arsehole on the phone?” Felix inquired curiously given she didn’t seem so composed just a few moments ago.

“Oh that-“ she paused taking in a deep breath for a second, she contemplated a whole coursework worth of thoughts and stories on wether or not to tell him the truth. “It’s was my boyfriend…” she trailed off, lying. “Stupid argument.” She added feeling awfully strange what it was that came over her to outrightly lie.

“What happened?” He asked, now interested as he leaned by the table and lit a cigarette offering her the second puff.

She took him up on the offer for his cigarette as she took a moment to think through her supposed lie “It’s nothing huge really…” she said trying to downplay is so he would maybe not be interested in it.

“Come on, honour the cig.” He urged her with his charm as she took another drag and retuned his cigarette to him.

Coming up with a hastily put together story, “I’m long distance with my boyfriend currently, he’s uh studying code in Estonia and he was coming here so we could spend the summer break together” she sighed. “But he signed up on a project there and bailed on me last minute.” She briefed him feeling proud and miserable of herself for having a peculiar story like that right off the top of her head.

“What an arsehole indeed” he replied matching her frustration as he scoffed “How dare he sign up a stupid project with a girlfriend as pretty as you?” Felix gave her his chivalrous smile, knowingly flirting with her but her boyfriend was a douche so it was alright.

“How awfully kind of you.” Y/n said playfully rolling her eyes at him as their night progressed in dumb conversations of here and there it was 4 in the morning by the time the pub waiter asked them to leave. They talked until sunrise and that is how y/n befriended Felix.

Despite the lie that the actual phone conversation was with her father and not a fake boyfriend in Estonia like she told him, “Then you can fly in for the weekend after this month, we’ve got a big launch for the company and if you’re here then the PR team will want you at the inauguration and I don’t want that. I don’t want you around on big company occasions, too much trouble as it is.” Her father said sternly on the phone, the rich were shallower than it seemed.

“Why do you always do this? Why does it always have to be this way?”

“Stop being so dramatic and grow up for a second” he told her off sighing, “You are not wanted here. You can’t come home now, I don’t want you to be associated with the company whatsoever. I don’t want the ‘dad’ rep on me with you. Simple as that.” He said to her harshly as he pronounced the word you in an exaggeratedly disgusted sense. As she tried to whine more about how unfair it was to her last minute he simply declined the call not wanting to handle any more of her tantrums.

-

Those two weeks of her friendship with felix blossomed and proved to be rather wholesome. Y/n was genuinely glad for his company, the charm of him could never make one feel unwanted. Felix hated not having his new friend for all of summer, it took quite a lot of convincing and begging on his side to get her to come to saltburn with him. Firstly y/n was really unsure if she could do so given they had been friends for just two weeks despite the closeness of their bond. Secondly if her father found out about her rendezvous, not that he’d care whatever she was upto but he would be mad if it could somehow bring a bad light upon him. Which in itself was a rare case because as felix stated his estate was in a remote place and she felt she could live her summer on her terms.

“You are crushing my eyes!” She exclaimed giggling as felix tightly held his palm over her eyes and his other hand guiding her through the large hallway to the decorated living room, for her. It was a well planed surprise so he didn’t want her looking through the gaps of her fingers at the last moment before the whole thing.

“Just a second” He told her as y/n felt him guiding her into a room where the conversations silenced themselves when he entered with her. Finally he pulled his hand away and held her from her shoulders. “Surprise!” The entire room echoed as confetti spread across the elegant happy birthday decorations. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out if you didn’t tell me?!” He exclaimed laughing as leaned forward from behind her and wrapped his arm around her.

Y/n was overcome with emotions as everyone cheered on happy birthday and surprise, Farleigh still bursting the confetti cracker. Felix attempted to walk across the room to take the covered plate from his hands,“How’d you know?” She held his wrist to stop him and asked him, hugely struck with the surprise.

“Your TA, I-card which you wore around like a badge of honour, it had your birth date mentioned.” He told her as he laughed and gave her a side hug when Elspeth approached her. Felix paced away for a moment to get the cake from Duncan.

“Felix shall throw you a godawful themed party or so later but I wanted to cherish you in a more traditional manner.” She said warmly as she held her by her face and kissed her forehead, the traditionalism of birthdays was long lost with the children growing up into party animals however the grand hall could have used a soft and sober gathering of the occasion of a birthday. Besides she really liked y/n, amongst all of felix’s wild friends she was awfully gorgeous and tender of heart.

“Thank you-“ Was all she could reply, extremely overwhelmed at this moment. “Really-“ she added feeling her gratitude shortening but nobody in this room would realise how big this was for her. She was soon pulled away with all the birthday hugs and warm wishes, a room full of people..gathering at 12 to celebrate her? With her? This was the hardest breakdown she had ever had to fight back.

Venetia pulled her to the table where Felix rearranged the candles on her cake for the final time. The sight of the cake with her name, the hugs she was receiving. She couldn’t hold it in anymore as tears brimmed her eyes. “Hey” Felix noticed as he leaned a bit lower to look at her eyes when she looked away confirming tears welled up her eyes. He couldn’t help but laugh, it was adorable to note how sensitive she was. “Hey…come here!” He pulled her into his embrace with his arms holding her from the side.

“Come on!” Venetia laughed along as she fixed y/n’s hair “don’t cry, you want your pictures perfect.” She said trying to cheer her up.

“God I’m sorry-“ she said shaking her head and pulled away from felix’s embrace as they sat next to each other by her birthday cake and everyone around them, “I’m just—I’m really touched by this, I-I don’t think I can come up with words that could hold my gratitude right now…” she said through her tears as felix chuckled wiping them “Truly, this means the world to me-you’ve all shown me such affection and-I-“

“By the time you finish that speech we’re all going to be in dentures” Farleigh said growing impatient and received an elbow via Venetia.

“Im sorry-this is just very thoughtful of everybody…” y/n said with a chuckle as she wiped her tears yet the hurt in heart where they came from lingered alongside the joy of such experience.

“Blow the candles!” Felix encouraged as he rubbed her back. She was about to when she was urged to make a wish. Closing her eyes with a big smile on her face she did so and the celebration furthered. Just another cake cutting at saltburn was going to be the most treasured memory for y/n.

-

Later that night, almost two in the morning the birthday giggles hadn’t yet died down as y/n lounged with felix in her guest room. She sat legs crossed by the stone bay window as the moonlight reflected through the room. “You really love that cake don’t you?” Felix commented leaning back on the chair across her as he laughed.

“It’s my birthday cake!” She exclaimed emphasising on the word my. It was as it is her third plate of the night.

“Whatever the birthday girl wants.” Felix said chuckling and remembered “Hey has our Mr.Arsehole called yet?” He asked and leaned backwards to look at the time on the clock, as her boyfriend he should’ve called her when the clock struck midnight.

Her face fell at the mention of it, she was planning to tell him sooner or later that she made that up. But she was looking to end that facade at a better time, it had been over a month now searching for that better time. She couldn’t keep her best friend in the dark like this. “Look I have to tell you something about that…”

“You guys broke up?” He asked almost instantly as if he was hoping for it however he kept his tone neutrally curious.

“I don’t have a boyfriend who’s studying in Estonia” she breathed as she sat her plate aside “I-I made that up when we met.” Felix was dumbfounded for a second he couldn’t wrap his head around what she was trying to say. “Look…when we met I just wanted to seem like an interesting person to you I didn’t think we’d become friends like this-“

“And this whole time you didn’t think you should tell me?” He inquired sternly as a frown fell on his face. Felix felt as enraged as he did hurt, “I’d never have considered you to be a two faced person like that!” He scorned standing up from his seat to account for his frustration.

“I’m not!” Exclaiming she replied sensing the rightful hurt and anger radiating off of him, “Felix, seriously I was planning to tell you about this.”

“When? When were you planning to tell me huh?” He asked as he rested his hands on his waist demanding an answer.

She didn’t have an answer for that because she knew this conversation would lead a follow up conversation which would require her to explain about her father to him, that situation is what she was running from. “I..I am sorry felix.” She said. She felt awful not being able to say ‘hear me out.’ Because he so clearly wanted to, he wanted the rational explanation she had but couldn’t tell him.

“Sorry?” He scoffed looking away for a second, “Who was it then? On the phone that night?” He seethed and waited for her to reply, everything within him begged for her to come up with an explanation which would make his feelings for her warranted for again. He had those this entire time, he’d known her boyfriend and her would eventually break up. He was looking forward to this moment ever since he met her but this was the most unideal situation.

Y/n’s silence agitated him even more so, he couldn’t stomach he’d have to let go off his feelings for her. It had been a long while he’d felt like this for someone, this deeply and unwaveringly and he could feel his heart having to say goodbye to it all soon enough and he hated that she couldn’t even reply or meet his gaze. “You owe me an explanation y/n! Just tell me who was on the phone.”

Her gaze as fixated on the floor as she felt the world crumble around her, it felt like standing in the ruins. She created herself, the pattern wasn’t unknown to her. “It was my father.” She told him, however much she wanted to lie with something else she felt like she’d reached a dead end. “I’m not on the best terms with him” and I didn’t want you to see me as another spoilt brat that night, I didn’t want you to think I’m another awful ungrateful child, I didn’t want to open up then as I don’t now.

“And? How so” He asked, it felt like he had to push it out of her to speak but he would, with two strides he reached upto her seat and held her face in his hands, “I am not asking a lot of you am I? Why are you doing this to me? I want your hurt and your truth as raw as it is, I want it as I want all of you, fairly I deserve it. Please. Please talk to me y/n.” Tears brimmed her eyes as she held his hands in hers and pulled them away from her face. The desperation in his voice made it worse as she stood out of her seat.

“I was..I was supposed to go home, back to New York for summer. But my father cancelled it last moment.” She told him with a sigh turning slightly to the side from him, she could not say this to his face without breaking down. Opening up felt like being knifed from the inside. “And I was talking to him about it on the phone, I just didn’t want to tell you then.”

“Why did he cancel it?” He asked and moved her to face him.

By now she realise she couldn’t beat around the bush this way, he wouldn’t move past this and she couldn’t lie now “He said I’m not wanted back home.” She told him redirecting her father’s words. “He had a big launch for the company, it’s bad PR for him and he doesn’t like me around on big occasions.”

“What about your mum?” He asked softly and noticed how she felt silent to muster up proper words.

“My mum’s not—“ y/n breathed “she died giving birth to me. Labor complications at the hospital” she said as mildly as she could, this was her truth, the loss that defined her and it was strange how it hurt the same narrating it each time.

Felix was speechless as his gaze softened it took a lot in him to fathom her grief because she never looked it, “that’s why you got emotional back there, with the surprise.” He thought out loud.

“Yeah my dad forbade it…celebrating my birthday.” She mentioned, she’d grown up to digest it too. Who would deserve a celebration on the day their mother died?

“What about as a child?” He asked really shocked, he got the idea she was emotional and probably didn’t have the best birthdays but absolutely none?

“Not really, my nanny would get me cupcakes with candles till I was six and I was a sheltered kid so that was an ideal birthday to me” she said plainly “But I was-I think I turned 11, the house help with our kitchen staff organised me a small party it was on the kitchen table, balloons and chocolate cake…but my dad got home early that day, he tore down the happy birthday banner, threw the cake and the gifts, fired the staff and I was grounded, I haven’t really celebrated since.”

“At eleven?” He said taking in a sharp breath, it was more than a difficult life for a child to grow up without their mother and have a father like hers. “That’s just cruel”

“My birthday is a dreadful day for him, he loved my mum very much” she said trying to give him the reasoning she gave herself. Both of them were sitting on the floor cross legged leaning by the wall.

“You were a child. He resents your birthday’s enigma in the shadow of his grief.” Felix told her.

“He was a different man once, before me” she tried explaining it to him, despite of how resentful her father was to her how uncaring she wanted to be at the end of the day it was the only parent and only family she’d known all her life. Even her father yelling at her was the sound of her home. “The enigma of my birthday..” she repeated his words with a dejected huff “won’t change the fact that I’m the reason his wife isn’t in this world.”

Felix personally took an offence in that. Her father’s indifference had seeped that poison into her “Absolutely not.” He told her sternly and took her hands in his, “none of it was your fault. You didn’t ask to be born, but as his daughter you’re his daughter. His blood. He treats you with resentment that is a lack in his character. With the loss of his wife he also gained you…a daughter he was supposed to cherish.” He told her what she had to hear but he didn’t mean for her to cry again, opening up was difficult enough for her as it is. Enlacing his arms around her he pulled her into his lap and rubbed her back as she wept in his arms. Soothing sweet nothings he kissed the top of her head rocking her back and forth. “The world gained one of the purest souls with you.” He told her and pulled away to look at her face. Her eyes were full of tears as he wiped them again, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “and if it wasn’t for you I’d have never felt this deeply for anyone.” He told her as it warmed her heart with all the pain through it and in his arms, for now, the world seemed just fine.

—

HIIII this is a new acc and English isn’t my first language also I’m a struggling stem major who writes to get over a bad test, pls be kind🙏

LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK AND GO DRINK WATER NOW

[quick-catton]

feeling not okay over what felix and oliver could've been and how they didn't even get the chance to try.

they could've had so many firsts together, so many adventures and fights and memories and pictures and trips and milestones.

and yeah, being real, it probably would've ended badly regardless, but they didn't even get the chance to ruin it all on their own.

there was so much life to be lived. :(

[cattordi]

cattordi’s nav

hi, i’m z. i’m a poc who has an obsession with white men and put my fantasies with them into writing.

i currently cannot update my masterlist due to my links not working

sebastian stan

bucky barnes

chris evans

steve rogers

felix catton

jacob elordi • coming soon

drew starkey • coming soon

rafe cameron • coming soon

please always dm me with ask and story ideas!! thank u

[sharpvst]

i don't want anything

from 𝑦𝘰𝑢.

just everything

with 𝑦𝘰𝑢.

felix catton x reader.

trigger warnings ; smut , oral , kinda asshole felix.

time :

the healer

and the

killer.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

it had been two months since i'd seen him. the ghost of felix catton lingers within the halls of oxford , sticking out like a sore thumb. he had been gone for two months , he went home for break — whilst i stayed in preparation for exams.

those months dragged on , on and on. felix and i weren't a thing , of course not — but what we had between us was no fluke , it was a spark. we'd been talking for only a few weeks before we began sleeping with each other.

that was the time of our lives. we'd sneak into each other's rooms , the thrill of that alone starting off the night with the heat of adrenaline. men and women should be kept in separate buildings . . but we didn't care.

i remember one night — maybe a few months ago now that he snuck into my room. it was late , around three am - neither of us could sleep. we'd been texting each other for hours on end , so we decided to close the gap and meet.

i was sat on my twin sized bed , draped in my heated blanket half naked as i waited for him. it was a particularly cold night. he entered soon after , he was only a short walk away.

my eyes darted up to meet his as he entered my room , i could've swore i saw a god in that moment. he was quite literally shining in the moonlight - messy brown hair compliments his oddly nice attire. he didn't waste any time.

" hey. " he whispered , crawling into my bed and snuggling between my heated blanket. he was . . cold. so cold. his long tatted hand wrapped around my frame perfectly as he laid a few kisses along my collar bone. " hey. " i whispered back , edging closer towards his cold body.

" i missed you. " i couldn't help but admit , i could just hear the smile crinkle onto his posh face. " yeah ? how much. " i turned by body around fully to face him , not answering as i pulled him in for a savory kiss. he tasted like cigarettes and red wine , the posh bastard. our bodies began to sync , hands and body interwoven.

he was the first to break the kiss , staring into my eyes for just a quick glance before he got to work. felix was always a giver. his hands quickly unclipped my bra as my own hands worked at his belt - struggling ever so slightly with the tightness. eventually , i got it off - not without help from him. he laughed a little about that.

he threw his shirt over his head - throwing it god knows where in my room as he pulled me beneath him , draping sloppy kisses down from my mouth down to my breasts. he gave them a bit of love , twisting my sensitive bud's with a bit of pressure — a rough sense of pleasure we had both found ourselves adoring.

further and further he went until he reached my now soaking panties , he placed a kiss on my clothed cunt. without warning however , he ripped them off. i was slightly offended , but i knew he'd buy me a new pair. or at least i thought he would.

he got to work , using one finger to stretch out my cunt with ease , his mouth lapping up my delicate juices with ease. i felt a rush - i was on the metaphorical cloud nine. my hands rushed towards his hair , giving his brown locks a tug as i moaned out his name. with each moan i earned more pleasure from felix — it was music to his ears.

this went on for awhile , until he got bored. we switched things up quickly as i caught a glimpse of the clock — we both had to wake up early for a class. he pulled me up and turned me around , arching my ass up for him. he gave my small ass a slap , leaving a large red mark.

" atta' girl. "

i knew what he liked , what he loved. i'm just not sure if he ever knew what i liked and or loved. he wasted no time , slipping his hard cock into my entrance - causing my head to find refuge in my pillow. i bit down hard , not wanting to wake up anyone.

" cmon' pretty girl , you can take me , that's it. . "

he slapped my ass again , now slowly rutting his hips. he grappled my hair — pulling me up with ease as he began to abuse my cunt.

it was like our bodies were made for each other , gleefully tailored to each other. he pulled my hair and i reached for his hand - which he didn't give me. tears welled in my eyes from the constant thrusts and force . . but something within me only likes this treatment from him.

after awhile we switched positions. now , he's on top of me - finally in a comfortable position on my back. the classic. " open your eyes , look at me. " he demanded - i had been so fucked out of my mind that my eyes were glued shut.

" cmon' " he placed his hand on my cheek - i relaxed a bit . . opening my tear filled eyes. " there you are pretty girl . . look at you. " he smiled , still thrusting with vigor into me. " i'm close , i'm close. " i muttered , he nodded and knew it was time to wrap things up. he leaned down and pressed his lips together with mine once more , my body unable to keep it together any longer.

i climaxed with force , body going numb as he continued to thrust for only a few more minutes - before he pulled out and coated me with his cum. rapid fire almost , covering my stomach and my neck.

he sighed in relief , pressing one more kiss to my forehead before getting off the bed and standing up. he stared to dress. " where are you going ? " i whispered , body still weak as i sat up slowly. " back to my room. " nonchalant , it hurt my feelings however. " i thought you were going to stay with me tonight ? " i felt awful , i felt as i did something wrong.

" what changed ? " i asked - still unsure. " nothing - i . . i just need to sleep in my own bed. " he pulled on his shirt , i sighed and stood up - cleaning myself up with a towel i had laying around. " i'll see you tomorrow ? " i spoke up , nervous of what answer i might get. " yeah , maybe. i'll text. " and with that . . he left.

he left me a mess , dirty sheets , ripped panties and a ripped apart heart. i stood naked in my room for a few minutes - hoping that maybe , just maybe . . he'd come back.

but that was the last time i'd ever see felix catton alive.

[xavigab]

Okay, but Oliver actually being a stupidly rich kid too, and him being rich and bored... well, he started doing social experiments. It started off with simple stuff with the staff, like dropping money and seeing if they’d keep it or give it back to him or his mother. As he got older, the experiments became more complicated. In a sense, he accidentally created a little cult before he just ghosted them because he got scared. (He saw Scientology and was like ‘oh yeah I could do that’) He had journal after journal, all being very detailed research on each experiment he’s done. Then he entered Oxford, and instead of Oliver falling in love at first sight, he kinda just wanted to see if Felix, the golden boy of Oxford, could be befriended by a 'poor awkward scholarship kid with no style' (lmao). Anyways, he started from the very beginning, meeting Michael (whom he would have liked to befriend because the guy was weird and would be nice to socially study), and then the whole lying about his ‘family’ to be taken to Saltburn, and then after conducting that experiment because it like worked, he decided to do a second part and see how much lying it would take for a friend to forgive. He hired another family and planned to be called when he was bathing. Oh and if y’all want you could say he fell In love with Felix at the end of it so he confessed in the maze and like after some angst they had their happy ending hahaha. Anyways, he takes his social experiments very seriously. (I would say the most he would do is the Farleigh thing about the plate, but he would still feel bad lol. I wouldn’t say he would be able to kill someone. As he did social experiments, he learned more about people, the good and the bad, so I feel like he would have very good etiquette.)

Sorry I like making completely new stories from already existing once cuz I’m dumb

[icarusamica]

Improvise (Look Me In My Eyes)

“Well, Ollie? A little kiss for your best mate?”

The smile he bore was one of utter mischief, a gleam to those soft browns hidden beneath pretty eyelashes. Taking a quick drink, Felix eased forward, shifting his weight forward to inch closer to Oliver.

Everyone’s attention suddenly captured by the question leaving them in suspension.

Was he really about to do this?

“Felix, it’s fine…” Oliver had tried to argue, but Felix had already reached him, immediately raising a finger to press down against Oliver’s lips, preventing further words from being spoken.

“Come on, Ol. You’ve got one kiss in there for me, right? It’s just me.”

Little spin the bottle fic I've been working on for the boys.

Would not have been possible whatsoever without @quick-catton. I owe them my life, legit haven't written a fic in so long and thought it was gonna be impossible. Pookie bear over here kept me motivated through it all and I couldn't be more grateful for it <3

Leave some love if you enjoyed!

[kumememe]

library talk at dusk (farleigh start x m! reader)

warnings: slightly edited but otherwise written in one go, spelling errors and grammar is sad, slightly ooc farleigh start, reader is male bc there is a lack of male reader love for this fandom note: hi, first work since forever... please be kind <3

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farleigh start was a simple man. when it comes to people he hates, he is often cruel, rude, and judgmental at every chance he interacts with them. he judges their poorly-coordinated clothes, their personalities that make them stick out like a bug, and he laughs at their misfortunes when he sees it happen upfront. as a cousin of the infamous felix catton, the self-proclaimed 'prince of oxford', he had a reputation to uphold. it wasn't like it was different from how he usually acted, no- it was more heightened to give its desired effect. people who were in the same major as him were often intimidated by him, and farleigh knew he had to be selective about who he wants as his friends. he couldn't let someone inferior to be part of his pack because why would he? only the worthiest would have the chance. and yet, everything changed when he met y/n l/n. that stupid brat. well, technically he wasn't a brat, but everything y/n did annoy the shit out farleigh. the way y/n was so kind, nice, and approachable, the way he carried himself so elegantly and effortlessly to the point where he got undivided attention by his peers and professors, the way he laughed and smiled at every single stupid joke his obnoxious classmates would toss at him- it was annoying. farleigh knew that the moment he saw y/n at the field, lying down on the grass as he laughed and sang along to the music his small circle of friends would play, the way his h/c hair would softly dance around in the breeze, with his irritatingly charming smile- he knew he had to hate him. and yet... at the same time, he couldn't. 

there was something different about him. farleigh knows differently when he sees it, and y/n isn't like people who wanted to be friends with him, desperately clawing at him to be let into his exclusive friend group to achieve status. no, y/n was unique. he didn't care much about status as he stayed true to himself, or at least what he wanted his own persona to be seen as through an outsider's lens. y/n was a bright young man, majoring in the same course farleigh was in, which he excelled at with him. y/n was the type to offer help to those who needed it, even as mundane as carrying books to the library. he was perfect in many ways farleigh couldn't understand, much to farleigh's dismay. he wanted to get to know him, but his reputation had to be held up. why? he felt it was an obligation, a rule to do so. with that, whenever y/n would approach him, he would give him some snarky remark.

"hey farleigh," y/n greets the tall male with a kind and unwavering smile. farleigh scoffs, crossing his arms, "hello, y/n. still sucking up to the professors, are you?" he would say sarcastically, trying to invoke some sort of negative reaction from the male but... it never works. y/n would  do what he always does- chuckle, shrug, and reply with some light joke. "i mean if it works, it works." y/n replied as he walked away, going to his group of friends who were waiting for him at the end of the hall. farleigh turns his head to see y/n being greeted by his peers, rolling his eyes at the way y/n brushed off his rude remarks. farleigh was a little annoyed. how can someone be so nonchalant, carefree, and just confident when it comes to this? was farleigh jealous? yes, but he would never admit it. if he was held at gunpoint, he wouldn't even budge. to say he was jealous of how y/n's natural uncaring yet kind behavior was an understatement.

but here farleigh was, in the crux of dusk, sitting in the library as with the very male he had a confusing opinion on. y/n and farleigh were paired on some project their professor had assigned. books, notebooks, pieces of yellow pad were scattered on the table, along with pens and laptops opened on the side. y/n tapped away on his laptop as he chewed on his lip, trying to think of how to write a certain paragraph more cohesively. farleigh was doing the same, but he was more interested to see what y/n was doing. he leans over slightly, taking a peak at y/n's work. "hm," he hums. y/n looks over his shoulder to give farleigh a curious look, before turning back to his paper. "do you think this argument is valid, farleigh?" y/n asks, highlighting the paragraph he just wrote down.

"i think it would be better if you gave one more supporting evidence." farleigh says, pointing at the end of the paragraph. "you need three solid evidences, and you have two so far. otherwise, i think it's good." farleigh says in an aloof tone, before going back to his own work. y/n sighs and stretches a bit, feeling his body become sore from how he had been slumped over for the past few hours. "i think it's time we take a break." he says quietly, saving his work on the file as he closes his laptop. he turns to farleigh, who was deeply focused on his work as he types quietly. the tall male's brows furrowed as he stared at the screen. y/n leans his head on his arm, which was propped up on the table. he opens his mouth to ask something, but hesitates slightly. with a shaky voice, he says, "you should take a break too." he says quietly, catching farleigh's attention as the brown-skinned male stops typing.

"y/n, this is due at midnight. we have no time to take a break." farleigh says sternly, running a hand through his hair as y/n shakes his head. "we've been working on this for... 4 hours straight. we're lucky that the librarian let us eat here while we worked." y/n expresses with a slight tired tone, "just five minutes, i swear." y/n promises.

farleigh reluctantly nods, sighing as he saves his work and turns his laptop off. "five minutes." he repeats, slumping into his chair as he closes his eyes for a bit. an awkward silence consumes the air between the two, before y/n spoke. "so..." he trails off, not knowing what to say as farleigh turns his head towards the latter, eyebrow raised expectantly. y/n clears his throat, "you know, i've always felt this vibe coming from you... the vibe that says that you don't like me." y/n says quietly, which surprises farleigh slightly. this was unexpected, he didn't think y/n would bring his passive-aggressiveness up as the conversation opener. it was understandable however, since the tension between them may grow if left unopened like a can of sardines. farleigh shifts in his chair slightly, "didn't think you'd finally notice." farleigh says in an unintentionally snarky tone. y/n frowns slightly, "it's kind of hard to ignore, to be honest... our banter always seems so playful from the outside but sometimes i just wonder if you do hate me." y/n looks down at his lap, before looking at the table in front of him.

this makes farleigh's heartstrings feel like they are being tugged at, as he didn't know that he had given a negative impression to the latter. farleigh stays silent for a bit, not knowing how to respond. he didn't know if his teasing was more or less just that. sure, he hated the way y/n was pure, and had no ill intentions in any of his actions with everyone he talks with- he was admirable, at best. maybe farleigh projected his insecurities too much on y/n, and he knew he was at fault. and yet... he swallowed the lump in his throat, having trouble forming the right words. once farleigh did, he made sure to explain his side carefully.

"i don't hate you." farleigh admits quietly as he crosses his arms, looking at y/n with a sincere gaze. this makes y/n's eyes widen slightly at the sincerity, eyes locking with farleigh. the tall brown male continues, "i guess my banter has left more than desired..." he says, looking away. farleigh takes a deep breath, "i let my insecurities get the best of me, and i let them out on you. I'm sorry."

y/n's gaze softened at the admission, the first time he didn't see the usual snark and judgemental attitude that the tall male would hide behind. y/n licks his dry lips, giving farleigh a warm smile. "d-don't worry, i don't hold it against you." he says softly, making farleigh roll his eyes. "see? this is what i mean, y/n."

"you're always so nice to everyone, so pure- you never seem to make any enemies. you're so free to do what you want and yet i'm here just..." farleigh huffs frustratedly. the confession hangs heavy in the air, with y/n sitting up properly. he adjusts his seat so he can place a careful hand on farleigh's shoulder. giving his shoulder a comforting squeeze. "farleigh," y/n starts gently, his voice filled with understanding. "thank you for your honesty, i appreciate it."

"but that doesn't mean you should compare yourself to me, or anyone else for that matter." y/n comforts, "we all have our ways of living life, our ow struggles... believe me. before i got to where i am now, i've been through my fair share of challenges."

farleigh looks at y/n, seeing the empathy in his eyes. he swallows the lump of saliva in his throat, as he listens to the h/c-haired male. "in my eyes, you have so much more to you than what meets the eye. you have so much potential for good, and you deserve to do what you want without being held back, okay?" he says tenderly. if y/n wasn't so damn kind, farleigh would have shrugged this off. but something in his gut knew that the former was right. "i apolgize if i'm being too serious, it's just... maybe it's time to let yourself relax and open up. well- technically you already did the last part but... you're capable of many great things."

farleigh chuckles at y/n's rambled advice, his tense shoulders relaxing. he has to admit it, he's starting to realize that maybe, just maybe, he liked y/n more than he hated him. "...thank you, l/n." he says with a heartfelt tone in his voice, such softness that makes y/n smile. y/n nods, "no worries, start." y/n releases the grip he had on farleigh's shoulder, much to farleigh's dismay. he lays both of his arms on the table, using them as a cushion for his head. "farleigh, you know since we are being candid here, i've always found you admirable."

farleigh's eyes flickered open just a touch wider, "really?"

y/n nods, "yeah. you're honest, not afraid of saying your own opinions... you have a confident aura that people like me wish for. confident, as in, you can just talk to anyone you would like with no struggle. not only that, but you are also arrogant. arrogant in a way that it is actually deserving since you are top of your class, smart, and..." y/n lists down, each sentence leaving him turning quieter as farleigh's grin widens every time. farleigh lets out a snicker, and y/n smiles. "what?" the latter asked, as farleigh shook his head. "it's cute that you admire me." he says with a hint of sarcasm, which makes y/n roll his eyes.

"oh, bug off, don't make me take it back." y/n threatens lightly.

farleigh takes a deep yet content sigh, already feeling the atmosphere lighten up as the two chuckled. with this cheesy opening up between the two, he knew that this shift will change their dynamic. and for once in his life, he can see y/n being a positive force in it. as he takes a look at the time on the wall clock, he turns to y/n with a small smile.

"whatever. come on, we have work to do."

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thanks for reading my bad work, lol, it has been a few years since i have written for any fandom, and i really appreciate anyone who reads this. if you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in. thank you :>>