#finding your inbox on mobile is STUPID

[prismatoxic]

you seemed upset in a earlier post and while we dont know eachother, i still feel compelled to try and find a way to comfort you.

have random chilaios fluff i came up on the fly:

- laios bites chil alot, not always with the intent of being sexual, its weird at first but after getting more intimate with eachother he just doesn't give a shit (thinks its cute but wont say it out loud)

- The girls call laios "Dad" sometimes, mostly puckpatty

I cant think of anything else sorry bro😔✊️ - 🐿

thank you chipmunk anon... this means a lot to me ;_; you're very sweet

I love both of these... chilchuck's daughters accepting laios as their second dad is everything to me

[daily-mizuki-water]

Reminding you to take your daily meikospital vitamins! They're great for your health. This boosts your: singing ability, maturity*, empathy, flexibility + mobility, memory, and charisma. *this does not remove a childish side. Potential side effects are: a growth in height, a more robotic tone, memory of alternate universe's lives, and loneliness.

> any asks about fundraisers will have the account's important posts reblogged to my main account. > if you dont drink the water you get dehydrated! that isn't good > if i forget to post there is a drought and my favorite fish named gilbert will not have a fun time. hopefully gilbert will be having fun for a very long time so! > may post my own fanart here, but that might not count as a mizuwater > a roleplay blog, but there isn't really that much of a separation between me and the character

> HEAVILY inspired by @daily-vitamin-ena and all of the vitamin blogs. go check them out > this blog is gonna get very silly in the spirit of mizuki akiyama > please please please ask me things i love it SO much. inbox is open forever and ever and ever > youll never find my actual pjsk account.. trust. im not user that-seems-stupid-lets-do-it wdym?? ermm > she/they/he/it (preferred in that order!!) > there's lore but not horror. This is set in the present. For the past, go here: > 🐈🐈🐈 meow meow meow > this is your sign to stay alive and keep going because it gets better > love ya

tagging system: #mizuwater = daily mizuki water posting! #mizutalking = stuff in character #modtalking = ooc stuff #unreality = if i am interacting with an arg blog and the arg stuff is present, or if I post arg things. There is no horror, but things like codes may be present. #mizuwaterlore = when i do lore related stuff. May be removed as lore is under renovations.

replycon/image sources (may not be used): animated star mizuki gif(s) pixelated mizukitalking dividers more to be added

yuri: @daily-kanaena-vitamins. niigo polycule except for mafuyu @daily-vitamin-shizuku. shizumizuwater yuri @daily-kohane-vitamins. mizuhane yuri (kohane is the yuri collector) @mizuki-vitamins-daily. mizuki x water yuri. is it selfcest? i hope not @daily-vitamin-honami business relationship honamizu the cicada polycule

if you wanna get on here just ask in my inbox. i will accept

its me..???!?!?!?!? by @microdosing-mishima !!! ^

mizuwater canon.. by @daily-vitamin-leoneed !!! ^

dont drink me please. by @ruikasa-stan!!! ^ my first post. good job on scrolling back this far

[sashabunnie]

Hi! I apologize for not posting recently despite having a resurgence in wanting to draw. I've recently gotten a new art program and am still trying to figure out how to use it. In the meantime I'd like to discuss a topic I find important to talk about.

I recently received a question in my inbox. I found it rude and decided to delete and block the person. But now I'm realizing I could use this comment to educate those not in the art field on this subject, specifically about how proportions and different body types are taught to be drawn. I'll paraphrase the comment received:

"It's funny how you're fat but you draw yourself skinny, it's hilarious."

Yup that's the basis of what the comment was. I could tell from this comment that a) they're trying to be rude and mean and b) they at least don't draw humans and at most have no idea how to draw period.

Now you may be asking, how does this comment lead to an educational moment? I'm glad you asked.

I've been drawing since I can remember, and I only took a few art classes in middle school and highschool. Other than that I'm almost completely self taught and often took my inspiration from cartoons.

I also grew up in a much larger body than a good portion of my peers. I had binge e@ting disorder. This was caused by growing up in a poor family. I was taught to eat whatever I was offered(unless it was by a total stranger). I was also taught at school to inhale my food starting from kindergarten as we only got 15 minutes to eat and 15 minutes to play, if we went over the 15 minutes to eat we weren't allowed to play. Anyways this conditioned me to have BED.

Being overweight as a child was torture. Just like any ED it's very hard to control and even harder to spot in a child. I went untreated until I was 19. I'm a lot better now but sadly my stomach is now partially paralyzed.

Now like I said, growing up fat was extremely difficult, seeing others in my life who were skinnier than I, seeing all the cartoon shows on TV with the pretty skinny ladies and bulked up men, or even lanky men. And sure there were fat people in cartoons, but they're often portrayed as these lazy, stupid, people or they're middle aged with greying or thinning hair, in a mobility scooter, who are also portrayed as stupid and lazy.

I never saw a true representation of myself in cartoons. I never saw a plump nine year old with dreams to become a ballerina or baseball player, I never saw a bigger girl who exceeded in every class who wanted to become a paleontologist. All I saw were people making jokes about the fat character, how dumb and lazy they were.

But to me, I was never lazy or stupid. And when I started drawing myself I did so as a beautiful young person who was smart, clever, and always taken seriously. It was my escape from this world of hate.

Then I started taking art classes in middle school and highschool. They taught very basic anatomy in drawing, such as "this is how long your arm should be" and "the hand should be able to cover the face", just teaching proportions. But here's the catch, they hardly taught anything more than an hourglass shaped body for females and a rectangle shape for men.

In fact if we tried to explore more or less body shaped, whether it was a flat chested female, a dad bod male or vice versa, it was met with severe criticism.

Now over the years I've learned how to draw different body shapes and sizes better than I have in the past. And I have worked greatly to improve my self image and that a bit of extra fat here or there won't be the end all be all.

However that's not to say that I still have a hard time drawing myself as big as I see myself irl. The ED that warped from BED to OSFED in my teen years still yells at me from my mirror, telling me how ugly I am for being in a bigger body. People have told me several times that I'm not as big as the mirror says I am, which is true.

I may be in a bigger body but it's not to a point where my weight is affecting my health. The only real thing affecting my health are a slew of genetic disorders that I cannot control.

Just to conclude, just because someone draws themselves as bigger or smaller does not mean that they're delusional. It's just how they draw themselves.

Just be kind and non judgemental. You don't know what that person has been through and honestly it's not really your business unless it's a threat to safety, theirs or others.

And if you don't like what you see, scroll, it's not your place to get upset over something as small as someone drawing themselves in a different light than your perspective.

Love y'all!

(Picture of my gravity falls x the owl house OC for y'all)

[tls123]

Sorry if I bother you, but I really love your gif sets! Do you know some tutorials or, app, or anything, to learn how to make good gif? I am learning and I feel very stupid because all my gifs are shit. (if my ask is inappropriate or anything, please ignore me)

you're not bothering and none of this is inappropriate, you're more than welcome in my inbox! as for your questions, let's see what i can do.

1) tutorials — i've been doing this for long enough that i don't really have much to recommend here, the only tutorials i use nowadays are all about specific things and not how to make gifs as a whole. that being said i've linked this one before, i personally do some things differently but it's a very good tutorial, well-received by gifmakers who are just starting and well written, from what i've skimmed through.

another good post to look through is this one, not a gifmaking tutorial per se but it goes into sizes, sharpening, and how to get neat & clear gifs. two of the main points are A) while you can get away with making gifs out of a 720p quality video, 1080p is what is usually recommended. you could use 4k as well, but a 1080p video is usually easier to find, will take less space in your storage, and will give you really good results already. no need for overkill <3 as for B) size matters here on tumblr dot com, mostly width. the op of the post linked in this paragraph has included a nice graphic for the size limits for gifs, you can refer to it as you make your gifs so that whatever you make won't turn out pixelated once you upload it to tumblr.

if you're curious, i've been asked about my sharpening settings here and i spoke before on tumblr sizing here

2) software — you mentioned app, if by app you mean mobile stuff then i'm sorry, i can't help you! i've never made gifs through mobile and i wouldn't even know which direction to point towards for you to find more information. as for computers, if you mean programs then these are what i use to make my gifs: potplayer (for taking screencaps) and photoshop cc 2020 (for making the actual gifs, this is the post i used but here's one with more links)

now i'd like to mention something my grandma always used to say: no one is born learned. you're not stupid just because it's taking you a while to do something, learning is a process and everyone has their own pace. i've been making gifs for a decade now and i know there are things i could do better! i'm also still learning, i make plenty of "shit" gifs before stumbling my way to something i am okay with posting, and sometimes i'm really proud of what i've made and other times i think it's just "good enough". i understand feeling disheartened but please do not feel stupid about any of this!

no use in putting yourself down, now hold my hand and let's add the finishing touches on this long ass reply <3

3) tips — we've mentioned video quality, sharpening, and sizing. what else, what else. personally i would start simple (and i did, way back when, and still do!! most of my gifs are quite simple). so: cropping/resizing + coloring + sharpening. it'll help get the basics down and then you'll have a good foundation for everything else you might want to learn. i mentioned in another ask, almost two years ago now lmao, that i used to download other people's free psds (that is, pre-made settings and layers to color your gifs) and instead of using them i would open them up and pick them apart to see how people were coloring things, which layers they used, in which order, stuff like that.

remember: there is no right or wrong to do this! you could ask ten different people how they make their gifs, and their preferences for any specific part of the process, and you'd get ten different answers. if you find a tutorial and don't vibe with it, throw that aside and look for another. pick and choose, find what works for you and what doesn't! and that means do not be afraid to experiment and try things out.

also, don't like photoshop? no problem! i started with gimp, now personally i wouldn't recommend it over ps but it's a good program, it taught me a lot, and there's really nothing to hate about it. it might have less functions than ps though, and already a decade ago there weren't that many tutorials/resources for it.

don't like photoshop AND don't want to download a program? try photopea, i haven't used it but it works directly from your browser and it should do everything photoshop does!

let me know if there's anything else i can help with <3

[chussyracing]

I have been in different fandoms before, although none of them had such a split-up fan base. But of course, for sports this is normal, I guess. I have been part of fandoms of tv shows and movies. Of course fandoms like these work completely differently than rpf.

And no, I don’t follow blogs who post about drivers that I don’t care about. Like you said yourself as a fan you gravitate to people who support the same believe (or person) as you. For example, I would never follow someone who supports stroll, because he is my least fav driver, but if I follow someone who supports Charles and Stroll and I find the Charles content interesting, then I will not block them, just because I don’t like stroll. Same goes for shipping.

My point was more like that if I am confronted with opinions that I don’t like or even find stupid I will not block them, (I only block bots) because if you block everything that you don’t want to see you get a false feeling of how the fandom as a whole thinks. And you will get the false feeling that everyone thinks like you, and if an opinion, that you don’t agree with, slips through even though you blocked so many people, you will get even more irritated than you maybe normally would, because you are so used to only seeing things you agree with. I am generalizing here tho.

Honestly, at the end of the day everyone is allowed to do exactly that. I think what made me go to your inbox was your tag: we could have been friends. (I guess you were at least half joking) but I already have strong opinions of blocking people, just because you don’t agree with them on certain things, so now here we are. Just to be clear, I understand blocking to a certain level when a blog only posts hate or always has the complete opposite opinion, but I get a bit sensitive when it happens just because you don’t agree with them on one thing and you don’t want to be confronted with anything that doesn’t align with your believe system.

Fuck that was way too long…

ah don't apologise, it was a nice read and i asked for it to understand your perspective a bit better!! it's interesting because we clearly view fandom and blocking completely differently.

i will try to keep this brief as my mobile data are STRUGGLING to keep me connected here.

i don't come here to exercise the use of fallacies in arguments and practice objectivity and comparison to others and the views of others, the aim is to get the validation and sometimes even agreement on consciously untrue or incomplete piece of information. i come here for the shits and giggles and having fun at something that doesn't matter at all in the grand scheme of things. if i wanted to confront my views with valid critique and different point of view, i'd never do that on tumblr, i'd focus back on academic environment, i'd hand in the essay on the underlying motif of misogyny in the greek mythology inspired poem i read a few years ago to the literacy journal like i wanted to do years back

and finally blocking has nothing to do with the person, rather their blog and i am separating the two here ALTHOUGH i can easily imagine situation where i go click that button due to a specific user rather than their posts. it's so easy for a reason, someone posts too much in the main F1 tag and you are bothered by it? make your experience easier, go and block that blog. they hate a driver you love or love the driver you hate? just hit that button and you never have to see it again. they have an icon that bothers you when you see it in the tag, open their blog and block it.

[stormoflina]

nah, he doesn't need to read shit lmaooo he isn't doing anything wrong 🫡

whats crazy about this is that these same people are the ones who complain about players "not being like before" referring to them not interacting freely with fans and "not" having and "not" showing their personality.

fanbases will always have weird ass people complaining about stupid shit and the best someone can do is block cause some of the shit u see is just... soo tiring cause they ALWAYS say the same shit and we cannot waste our time and energy on that lmao.

of course there are certain instances where ppl need to speak up against some of these comments but yeah, blocking is great.

and i think ppl come to ur inbox because u are a well known blog around here that its owner happens to be hungarian and like Dom 😭 i am so sorry for all the weird messages u get, it's giving... Obsession. what's crazy about that its that most of them are most likely from the same person 💀 weird ppl with weird hate boners work like that.

Ooohhh and to add to my long ass rant, i am BEGGING literally ON MY KNEES that these ppl understand that being injured ≠ stay still don't move ever.

I am soooo tired 😫 like, yeah, there are certain injuries that require very limited mobility but my dude, this isn't one of them. him walking to a fucking desk and moving his fingers and talking is not going to aggravate the injury ffs 😭

I don't have Twitter (thank goodness) so i do not really know why people are getting mad (it's twitter so ANYTHING is possible) but i can imagine a lot of them are about his injury because many are dumb like that.

Hey anon! I hope you don't mind that I copied your second here as well. Thank you so much for your ask, I appreciate it! <3

I whole-heartedly agree with you with everything you said. It's so beyond me how you, as an alleged fan of the club, would go to such lengths to dismiss, mock or just hate on your own player. For some reason Domi seems to bring out the worst of the worst, but the likes of Trent get so much shit for anything too from the same lot of people. Trent at least has a very loyal fanbase, who will go to war for him lol. But even the hate Ali gets, absolutely ridiculous! I muted so many people on twitter, because even if they are just "joking '' I find most of them in poor taste.

Annoying when I try to do everything to block out the type of commentary I know makes me angry, then here comes the anons.. lol. Very much obsessed, for the love of God, I can't figure out what their obsession even is about.

Please, never download twitter!! You are saving yourself a lot of headache with not having one haha.

[minisugakoobies]

Something | MYG

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: smut, crack, DadYoongi!AU, BadCop!AU

Rating: M (18+)

Warnings: swearing, kissing, use of restraints, mention of choking, reference to previous sex, blood, allusions to murder, Yoongi is not a good guy here (ymmv)

Word Count: 1.1k

Disclaimers: NSFW, obviously I don’t own BTS - they just inspire me

Summary: His hand rises of its own accord, seeking the soft skin of your cheek. Craving one last gentle touch before…. “This could’ve been something, you know.” 

A/N: Another installment in the BadCop!AU! OC's about to find out what happens when you fuck with Yoongi's money. Spoiler alert: nothing good.

Unbeta’d as usual. I’d love to know what you think - my inbox is always open! 💕

Part 2 💵 Bad Cop Masterlist 💵 Part 4

“Please! You don’t have to do this.” 

Yoongi finishes binding your wrists to the back of the wooden chair, ignoring your pleas. Stupid. How could he be so fucking stupid?

He whips out his mobile phone from his silk pajama pants pocket and presses a button. A click and a voice. 

“Jimin. I’m going to need a cleanup. Yeah. At home.” 

He snaps the phone shut and sets it on his workbench. Thank god his daughter is sleeping over at a friend’s house tonight, so he can take care of this mess quickly. 

You try again. “Let’s just talk this out. No one needs to get hurt, okay?”

Ha. Too fucking late. 

Yoongi should’ve listened to his head when he met you. It told him you were too good to be true. But no, he’d listened to his dick. And then to his–

“Please. Yoongi.” Your voice is remarkably steady. Probably your training kicking in. The Bureau did a bang-up job with you, Yoongi thinks sullenly. “Listen to me. You can cut a deal. I want to help you. Trust me.” 

You screech as Yoongi suddenly spins in the cramped garage, tossing all the tools cluttering his workbench to the ground with one sweep of his arm. The metal instruments clang on the cement floor as you stare wide-eyed in fear. He sneers as he stalks towards you, bare chest heaving. 

“Trust you?! Are you fucking kidding me?!” He drops to his knees and grabs your ankles, yanking on the rope to tie them tighter to the chair. His face hovers above yours. A scorching fury radiates from him in waves, burning the words forming on your lips to ash. “I did trust you! And look what happened!”

Why had he kept that safe in the house? When he’d awoken to an empty bed, a horrible sinking feeling had stolen over him. He thought for a moment that it had happened again, that he’d been left behind once more. The sight of you in his study brought relief, but it was fleeting. 

As most good things in his life are.

“It was only a matter of time!” you shout, calm replaced by anger, leaning forward, nose bumping against his, making him recoil. “Someone was going to catch you eventually! Why not me? Why not someone who cares about you and Da-”

“Don’t,” he growls, nearly spitting in his rage. “Don’t you fucking say her name.” Everything he did was for his daughter. You could never understand. You didn’t deserve to understand. And you didn’t deserve to even speak her name anymore.

"If you kill me, that won't kill the investigation." Your voice is composed again, but your lip quivers as you speak.

Yoongi smirks, a cold smile that comes nowhere near reaching his eyes. "You just don't get it," he growls. "I run this fucking town. I'm the one with the money. I'm the one with the power. I just need to make you disappear. Then I'll pay a few people in the right places to make this investigation disappear, too."

He didn’t get to where he is without learning which palms to grease. Now that his biggest competition is out of the way, the money’s streaming in so steadily that he should have no problem getting out of this. If he can just do what he needs to do next. 

But he can’t stop thinking about earlier tonight. The expression on your face as he came apart inside you. The way you’d fallen asleep in his arms, sighing his name contentedly. Had any of it been real? Fuck, he’d been such an epic fool, to believe that he could be the king, and provide for Da-som, and maybe, maybe even find l-

He can’t let himself finish the thought, snarling as he reaches out and lays his long fingers around your throat like a heavy collar, thumbs slipping easily into the notch of your collarbones. Only mere hours ago you’d begged him to choke you as he fucked you towards oblivion. You’re trembling now, as you did then, but Yoongi knows it’s a different kind of anticipation. 

“Wait. Please.” He feels your breath catch under his fingertips. “Please.” 

“I can’t let them take her away from me,” he explains, heated glare meeting your frantic gaze, and you nod. 

“I know. But please… Yoongi… I can help you. It doesn’t have to end like this.” 

But it does. Because he knows that if he goes along with you, and turns himself in and strikes a deal, he’ll still lose Da-som. Even if they can stay together, once he confesses, she’ll know exactly who he is. What he is. And she’ll never look at him the same way again. 

He can’t lose her love. If he loses that, he’ll truly have nothing.

“No, I’m afraid it does.” His hand rises of its own accord, seeking the soft skin of your cheek. Craving one last gentle touch before…. “This could’ve been something, you know.” 

“I know,” you repeat softly, a sad echo, and before he loses his nerve, Yoongi kisses you. He tastes salt on your lips, feels a shudder pass through you, and he breaks away, lowering his head. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

“So am I,” you reply, and he can’t stop himself from peering at you again, heart jolting at the regret he finds reflecting in your eyes. “For this.” 

CRACK

“You bitch!” Yoongi’s hands fly to his nose. Blood streams from his nostrils, veins cut by broken bone thanks to your headbutt. The pain is blinding, but his wrath moreso. With a mad howl, he lunges for you, but you merely crack him again, forehead to forehead. This time, he goes down. 

Inhaling desperately, you watch his prone body for a moment before you start to rock, working up some momentum before throwing yourself onto your back. The chair doesn’t smash completely as you’d hoped, but the back does break off enough for you to slip the rope under the rungs. Contorting your body, you manage to slide your constrained arms under your ass and then bend forward until your chest is pressed against your thighs. As soon as you can feel the rope around your ankles with your fingertips, you work the knot loose enough to slip your feet free.

Kicking the remnants of the chair away, you crawl towards Yoongi’s phone. Bound hands fumble through his contacts until you find the name you need. A click and a voice.

“Sir?” The voice is confused. “Is everything okay?”

“It’s not Yoongi. It’s me.” 

Yoongi moans, stirring slightly, and you hold your breath until he stills again. 

“We need to move.”

© 2022-23 by sunshinerainbowsbts/minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.

Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3 💜 

TAGLIST: @inlovewiththemoonn; @likeshatteredrainbowglass; @tittystardust; @vyduan; @augustbutwinter; @hesperantha; @sugalaritae; @babycoffeefire; @parkdatjimin; @reliablemitten; @yuugehn; @ut-dixisti; @seokjinger-ale; @bangtanintotheroom; @taeshuworld; @nch327; @hannahbee12719ficrecs; @7minsuga96; @dvalitaes; @wonieclub; @thatlongspringnight; @miscelunaaa; @minttangerines

[netheritenugget]

How To Fandom

Okay I’ve been really really wanting to write a masterpost about how to stay sane on this website for a while now, and I think it’s time.

So You Joined The Dream SMP Fandom/Basically Any Fandom.  You Feel Like You Are In Hell.  How Do You Keep Sane?

The block button is your friend.  Unless the person who has been blocked tries messaging you or interacting with your posts, then they’ll never find out they’ve been blocked.  You can also do something called “softblocking,” which is blocking and then unblocking them to make them unfollow you.  Chances are they might not even notice you’re no longer on their feed.  Block people who annoy you.  Block people who give you bad vibes.  Block everyone and anyone who makes you uncomfy.  It’s worth it.

Tag filter tag filter tag filter.  Tumblr has its own tag filtering option.  If you block the word “gore” it won’t block “gore tw” but it’s good to use because it will synch all your filtered tags between mobile and desktop.

If you use Chrome, you should install the New Xkit extension.  It has lots of different filtering options, like the option to block individual posts and all variations of them, blacklist words, hide advertisements, and more.  There’s also additional accessibility options.  Seriously I cannot reccomend being able to block posts enough, it’s extremely helpful for clearing your feed of the same annoying rants that keep popping up over and over again.

Turn off anon unless you’re comfortable with having it on.  Anon is a nice way for friendly shy people to message you, yes, but it’s not worth it if there’s people flooding your inbox with hate.  You are not a coward for wanting to see the faces of the people who felt the need to take the time out of their day to bait and harass you.  Anons harassing you this way want you to post their answers for others to see, because if it was just about making you feel bad, they’d PM you directly to tell you how much they hate you.  No, it’s about the fact that they can do it with zero repercussions.  Don’t let them get the chance.

Take breaks.  Log out of the app and have some food and water.

If you see a post that makes you angry, ask yourself if seeing the same topic in a week will make you just as angry.  Ask yourself if it’s worth it to spread that anger to others.  Is the information in the post verifiable?  Does it need repeating?  If the answer to any of these questions is “no” I suggest not spreading it.

If you’re about to argue with someone over their stupid opinions, ask yourself...  “Will this argument die out after five minutes?  Am I prepared if it goes on longer than that?  Is this person probably too stupid to comprehend that they’re a moron?” and if the answer is “yes” then just take the moral high ground and leave.

If you have a post you’re not sure about (maybe it’s controversial, or maybe you’re just feeling extra anxious today), save it to your drafts and come back to it later.  It may also help you find typos.

Posts that have already been made can be changed to “private” which will allow you to see them, but nobody else.

Alright Those Are Cool Tips!  How Do You Make Tumblr Better For Others?

Be respectful of other’s boundaries.  Unless you’re friends with a blog, do not assume they’re comfortable talking about absolutely everything with you.  The big blogs on this site don’t have social media managers, they’re not therapists, they’re just normal people who didn’t need to wake up to requests for feet pics.  Please be nice to them.

Don’t put unrelated character tags on your posts, it’s especially rude when I’m scrolling through the Eret tag and see unrelated fanart of different characters entirely.

Leave the “#m*neblr” and “#m*necraft” tags alone.  It’s not for us.  Use “#mcyt.”

When you trigger tag things like seizure warnings make sure you’re actually using the correct tag for such things.  For example if you’re tagging gifs for epilepsy warnings, “#epilepsy warning” is better than “#epilepsy” since the first tag is a warning, and the second tag is just the name of the medical condition itself. (Don’t have epilepsy, it’s just a good example)

I love it when people leave nice things on my posts!!  I love it so much!!!!! Putting things in the tags is nice if you think your comment might be cluttering, but you want others to see it don’t be shy about slapping it into the reblogs :)

Remember that there is a myriad of reasons someone might not have answered an ask you sent!  Tumblr really does eat asks sometimes for unknown reasons, the contents might not have made the recipient comfy, or they might have cleaned the inbox out, or they just might not have wanted to answer it.  The recipient might not be comfortable with you sending an ask about where the first one went, but if they are, please be polite and know they don’t have to answer you if they don’t want to!!

Sometimes fandom drama can get out of hand.  You know the author of the Dream Apologist Manifesto?  They got death threats.  Don’t contribute to harassment, no matter how much you think it’s deserved.  Don’t be that guy.

If anyone else has anything useful to add, feel free!

[corruptedsilence]

I posted 3,356 times in 2022

That's 3,356 more posts than 2021!

2,260 posts created (67%)

1,096 posts reblogged (33%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@seraphvie

@dxrksideroyalty

@corruptedsilence

@themelleniasisters-a

@manbehindtheslaughters

I tagged 3,350 of my posts in 2022

#delicious knowledge // ic - 1,359 posts

#out for a bite // ooc - 905 posts

#mobile - 746 posts

#screams from the abyss // mt - 732 posts

#the abyss screams back // dc - 237 posts

#grief’s anger // ic - 195 posts

#dxrksideroyalty - 169 posts

#seraphvie - 168 posts

#anonymous - 122 posts

#manbehindtheslaughters - 97 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

@strikers-saloon​ asked: ¥ How about ya able ta' tell me the day ya were walkin' around without a thread on? Ah wanna see who was at work that day for... reasons."

Send me a ¥ and a command and my muse has to obey. Take advantage of this…….

“ And here I thought you were a gentleman. Something, something, southern hospitality? Adorable you think I could even remember the day it happened. Sorry, Darling you’ll have to try harder than that as I can’t remember what day it is let alone if our days match the same on Earth and Hell. I’d think twice about asking for something so personal when we’ve hardly gotten to know one another. “

Missi snickers, there was a confidence in her voice with a challenging tone. While the display was humorous to her she was curious about the cowboy’s intentions. It certainly would shine a light on his possible thoughts or desires for her which only amused Missi further.

23 notes - Posted September 4, 2022

#4

What’s in the box????

26 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

#3

“ This is ridiculous. I look stupid. My fur doesn’t even match my hair. I can’t even change my clothing. What else could go wrong? “

35 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

#2

Permanent Starter Call

Liking this post gives me permission to:

- Spam and Send Memes/Prompts/ect to your inbox - Tag you in things I find that remind me of your muse/our muses - Mention your muse(s) specifically in other threads - Involve your muse(s) in blog-events - Hit up your DMs to Plot or talk about HCs - Occasionally draw our/your muse(s) from threads   - Feel less anxious about approaching you because anxiety is rude

* If there is something listed above you do not want to take part in just hit up my DMs and I’ll be sure to make note of it &lt;3

52 notes - Posted July 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

                      The Cane is Mightier than the Sword

               Independent || Semi-Selective || Crossover Friendly || OC friendly                                        Rules || About || Vampair || Threnody                                                         Permanent Starter Call                                                   promo template

71 notes - Posted July 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ofgentleresolve]

pls rank ur muses based on who responds to texts the fastest alsdkfjlsdk

@interxstitial || is asking all the right questions here 👀 ( unprompted. )

okay first of all THANKS for this- i'm gonna answer them from fastest to slowest!!

1. lee ga-ram

mostly because he doesn't have a lot if any friends especially outside of work. since a lot of his work for yo-han does involve spying on other parties, for the devil judge, long distance communication is a necessity...most of the texting they do is work related and so you are almost guaranteed to get an answer at least in within a hour or two.

2. lamon chuphong

tends to feel bad if he leaves a text ( or email for that matter ) unanswered for more than a day. he hates seeing unread notifications at the top of his inbox. however what puts lam in second is the fact that there are on occasion 1 to 3 days straight where he straight up isolates and doesn't answer anything. he used to feel guilty about that but these days?? is starting to care less 🥲

3. patrick myungdae grace

unless you're lee hyuk or one of his kids, patrick makes a point to avoid answering text messages and emails outside of working hours. after all, he's already using a good chunk of his hours outside of work to grade papers!! if he wants to keep up with that, no distractors are allowed!! D-: aside from that he does answer relatively quick...just make sure you contact him during working hours. also if you leave a voice mail, he has a function that cuts off specific numbers at 3 minutes...it's useful for locaqious co-workers like ratliff JFKLSDJFLDSJF 😂

4. raphael wei

more or less gets to text messages in a timely manner but he's not going to let that get in the way of well, life outside of the phone ( unless it's mobile games while watching food network 🥲 ), typically he'll answer text messages when he's off duty so most of the time the messages will be coming in at night. hope you're not an early bird in these cases...

5. mana huynh

there's an out-of-office email message i saw once that mana goes by ( for people she finds annoying ): "it is normal for me to take 2 days to read my emails and 2 more days to reflect on the matter and respond calmly without making a note on your stupidity. the culture of immediacy and the constant fragmentation of time are not compatible with the kind of life i lead."

JKLSDJFLSDJ well, if you're calum or a friend though, she does grant you leeway- basically if she likes you she'll make herself easy to access. if she doesn't, good luck getting her attention.

6. shin myungdae

if it's not related to the black knight, it'll take him at least a week to remember to get back to you, if he even does respond... thank his shitty short-term memory for that 🥲 his students learn very quickly it's easier to just ask him the questions while they're in class aka when he's around.

7. ahn yoojin

as free as the wind, this one is :D i actually hc that he doesn't actually?? have a phone aka he only got on recently and even then, he leaves it at home a lot of time...it's too heavy to carry in yoojin's opinion and not to mention if he wants to find someone, it's easier for him to just go seek them out himself. that being said, he does have a good instinct so if someone wants to see him, don't worry. you’ll find him.

[nancydfan]

So I have been a fan of resident evil for a while now and I have to say without a shadow of a doubt Ethan is my favorite protagonist. I feel like the rest of the protagonists in the series are kinda the same, you’ve got the police/army guys (Leon and Chris) who are determined to save the world, and then with the rest of them they’re kinda the same, badass people willing to give their all to get rid of evil and return the world back to normal. And that’s fine, except it’s a kind of story that’s been told over and over again and not just in resident evil.

That’s why I love Ethan so much. He is a breath of fresh air that the series needed. And while yes, you can argue that his type of storyline has also been used a lot, it’s something that has never been explored in resident evil.

With the rest of the protagonists, they choose to fight. They volunteer to put themselves in horrifying scenarios for the greater good.

Ethan isn’t like that.

He’s literally just your typical average dude. He has a normal job, and has a relatively normal life which he was happy to spend with Mia until she went missing.

In RE7 Ethan doesn’t volunteer to deal with the horrors that he faces. He just wanted his wife back, and even after 3 years he still loves her enough to drop everything and rush out to find her.

When I finished RE7, I liked Ethan as a main character, but it was RE8 that made me fall in love with him. In RE7 there were a lot of times when he just didn’t respond or kind of reacts underwhelmingly, but I think this is less of his character and more of Capcom trying to make you feel more like Ethan and having him react too much might take you out of feeling like the main character is you.

Of course his actions are still very reflective of him, like when he first enters the house and has to “kill” Mia the first time, when she reaches out to him he reaches right back, implying that he regrets what just happened and that he still wants her to be okay, no matter what is wrong with her.

I know Jacksepticeye said one of the reasons why he doesn’t like Ethan is because he doesn’t have a character arc, but I disagree. Like I said, Ethan goes from not being very vocal at times/ underwhelming reactions in RE7 to I feel the exact opposite in 8; he talks a lot more with lines that make sense, and you can feel his emotions at times even with just seeing his hands. Now one can argue that Capcom just wrote Ethan differently, which I can see.

But I feel as though Ethan has changed- in the first game, he’s scared and confused, and finally ends on frustration as the game nears its end. In RE8 he is angry, angry that his life keeps getting turned on it’s head because of some stupid mold. He is angry, and fueled by his grief and determination to save the only family (he thinks) he has left. He is 100% done with everything and has honestly given his last fuck a long time ago.

And again, this is what makes him special- he doesn’t necessarily care about the mold, about Miranda or any of the “bigger issue” things- he just wants his family. In 7 he just wants to get his wife and get out of there, and In 8 he just wants to save his daughter. He didn’t sign up to be a hero, to save the world from it’s own creations. He just wants his family.

And honestly that’s what makes him more human and alive to me than the rest of the protagonists- the rest of them kind of just feel like characters with their (almost cheesy) need to take on insurmountable problems to save the world. But Ethan is different, he’s just a man who probably just wants to do his taxes in peace and have a normal, quiet life. The rest of the protagonists, though I’m sure would love to quit, wouldn’t change their jobs or their situations because they know someone has to do it and it might as well be them. But not Ethan. If he had the choice than he’d make it so none of this ever happened, and that he and his family never have to be involved in something like this again.

Which is why I think this is what makes his sacrifice so much more tragic. With any of the other protagonists yes we would be sad but we’d find comfort in knowing that they died doing what they loved (saving people), and wouldn’t have it any other way.

But Ethan is different.

He didn’t want to sacrifice himself- we can see that in the way he struggles with Chris to get out, to stay in one piece for his daughter because he wants to be there for her. He went through hell and he just wants to see his little girl grow up. And when he hears Mia’s alive that want only grows more because he has a chance to have his family back, but I think he knows he can’t. He’s falling apart, his body has dealt with so much and kept him alive but not for much longer. And so even though he desperately wants to go back with Chris, after hearing Mia’s alive he knows he can let go. I think another part of why he was fighting so hard to escape with Chris is because he didn’t want Rose to live without both of her parents, but when he hears Mia’s alive he realizes that Rose will be okay, she will at least have one parent. He is so tired, so tired of fighting that even though he hates the fact that he can’t go back with her (you can physically hear the pain in his voice when he says “Goodbye Rosemary”), he knows that it’s something he has to do.

And he isn’t happy or content with sacrificing himself. In fact this is the last thing he wanted, which again is what makes it so heart wrenching. After all the pain he’s been through he doesn’t even get to see his daughter grow up, doesn’t get to grow old with his wife, his painful adventure to get his family back ends just as painfully as he pulls the trigger to destroy the mold.

This is why Ethan is special to me. Ethan is just a man who wanted to be happy with his family, not some stereotypical stone cold hero who would gladly give up his life for the greater good. He is truly unique and in a way I saw myself in him and his personality, which is what crushed me so much when he died. I wanted him to have a good ending and he got handed a shitty end. I really hope Capcom gives him a good resolution, one where he doesn’t have to be a main character at all but at least give us something where we know he’s okay and reunited with his family.

Sorry for getting weepy and deep lol, it’s just I really love Ethan and have no one to talk about how upset I am at his ending lol. Thanks for listening to my rant!

Oh my dear nonnie you’re always welcome to rant in my inbox. Long or not, thoughts, etc. that’s why my box is always open :)

And just so you know, I’m currently crying in an airport lobby over Ethan Winters 😆

I’m on mobile so I won’t be able to properly respond probably except to say you are absolutely right on all of these things. He really is such a stark contrast to the rest of the RE heroes and that’s what makes him so special to me too. He is just a man. A man who does everything he can for his family. All he wants to do is be left alone to love his wife and raise his daughter. I keep thinking of that scene in re8 where he’s talking to the doc. That is the Ethan Winters Capcom refuses to let us see all that much. Easy, happy, carefree moment. There’s a lightness to his voice. He doesn’t care about the problems of the world. That isn’t his job too. And it’s unbelievably tragic that not only does he get pulled into this twice (with three years of suffering for Mia before Dulvey and then the heartache of her “murder” and Rose’s kidnapping), he then dies in the end???? He doesn’t even get the reward to live with his wife and daughter? WHAT DID ETHAN WINTERS DO TO YOU, CAPCOM!!?

also overcome? Miss me w that bullshit. Y’all blew him to smithereens.

I swear if Capcom doesn’t bring him back in some way I don’t know how I’ll proceed w this series. I love Leon and Claire and Jill a lot too but nothing like Ethan. And I’m super not interested in getting my heart ripped out every few years. Especially w a new protagonist.

Ethan is just the perfect representation of deserved better. He pays his taxes on time, probably helps that old lady down the street whose husband just died. Tells the same joke we’ve all heard a thousand times to the point only Mia and him are laughing at it. He would be there for every parent teacher conference and up at 130 with a flashlight chasing away the monsters from Rose’s closet. The world may be crazy somewhere but he’s content to just be here with his family.

And Capcom took all of that away. I don’t think I’ll ever not be angry about it.

[splintergirl13]

hello! i know you said that you like song recommendations so here's my list for fluff pining and stupidity! most of them are just herobrine songs but shhhhh

- we have it all by pim stones

- atlantis by seafret

- icarus by bastille

- achilles come down by gang of youths

- fire and fury by skillet

- king by laruen aquilina

- fire on fire by sam smith

---

OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY LOL I have absolutely no idea how long this has been in my inbox sorry Tumblr mobile ate this!! Lol it's so weird I checked my inbox because I got a p0rn bot notification that I had to go block and report and saw this sitting there like OH NO OH NOOOO

But seriously these songs made my day better so it was almost like a random gift to find today hahaha

Okay let's get into it.

Seriously my personal Playlist is 90% just herobrine songs so I understand

We have it all - love the vibe very good. Good aetherian monster song

Atlantis - AHHHHHHHHHHHHH Girl we do be dancing alone at home right now to this. This goes hard and doesn't stop. Ugh I'm filled with emotions. They can save it I swear they just need to work at it ahhhh

Icarus - gotta say bastille I'm hit or miss with just because it's one of the bands that they over played back when I would listen to the radio lol. But this one I enjoyed! :)

Achilles come down - this one gave me such nostalgia my friend made a Playlist for me and this was one of the songs. Very beautiful. Takes your breath away. Should be required for everyone to hear

Fire and fury - this is on my normal daily Playlist so I wholeheartedly agree lol. Fun fact I used to do that YouTube 2 player thing and play circus for a psycho along side gods don't die 2. It works lol

King - herobrine redemption and healing arch my beloved

Fire on fire - idk why in my gut I knew this was going to be my favorite of the songs. And I was somehow right, holy shit this slap

Thank you for the lovely songs I greatly appreciate them all and you ❤❤❤

[sokumotanaka]

Name 1 time Team RWBY didn't care about or help people in the show!

Well yeah

Yang destroyed a nightclub with innocent patrons in it, no, before anyone assumes so they weren't STILL in when it crumbled but Yang walked in enticed a fight and them when the dude was gonna let it slide instigated it. Weather Jr. was a bad guy or not she brought a fight to a place with innocent civilians and didn't even glace back or feel bad once.

(yang's gonna get alot of these, be on the look out.)

And no these aren't in order nor am I gonna remember every single instant cause you idiots get uppity about technicalities like how "DUUUR Ozpin isn't their boss, he's their leader." Crap.

vv read more for mobile vv

In volume 1

- Yang calls a stranger she never met a lost cause cause she wasn't "graced" by yang's presence.

- Velvet was getting bullied and they all sat there, people sworn to protect the peace just watched racism happen (Mimics IRL too!) but only cared when jaune was involved.

- "You're discriminatory!" "I'm a victim!"

- The filthy faunus from the boat

- weiss went on a racist rant about faunus and never apologized to Blake or Sun. She then worded it as if she was doing weiss a favor for being the way she was.

- "I lieeeed" Thanks jaune you're creepy and an asshole

In volume 2

- Yang barely knows Blake and is shoving her to prove a point, even if she cares about her, shoving a stressed out and tired woman then inviting yourself for a hug is super uncomfortable.

- they drag a mech to a freeway sending cars flying and they dont even talk about it or try to see if those people are okay.

- Faunus are lied to by humans that the train they're taking that the explosives will be used to topple the government, the characters never try to explain that roman is just gonna use them as bodies and they could all try to stop him and disarm the bombs and try fixing the government together. There's never a talk.

- They seal the entrance and murder a bunch of faunus and then take a nap.

In volume 3

- Even if mercury is a villain from yang's perspective he's a fellow challenger and she punches him way after his aura breaks which was considered illegal.

- Pretty much everyone literally going "In this friendly competition, let's smack talk that we're gonna make the other bleed." (I know who says that but Yatsu literally is like "I wont hold back." like this is suppose to be FRIENDLY.

- Yang gets pissed that blake registers this thing called fear and guilt and runs away cause she blames herself for her Ex's mental stability. But later Yang admits she wanted her there physically for her benefit, fuck whatever blake wanted I guess.

In volume 4

- "Oh no we gotta hurry to haven, let's walk."

- Ren: I should probably tell them there's a powerful grimm at my old home and they're carrying an injured man but I dont wanna. (Confirmed by miles btw that he wanted to show that there's a bit of selfishness in that decision...but If you're my friend and there's a shark in the water I'll still tell you? Cause I'm not an asshole.)

- Everything to do with Qrow

- Everything to do with jaune's manpain

-Blake about to draw her weapon on a ship captain

- Weiss doesn't' even yell no or reach out as her summon is about to attack a person.

In volume 5

- Ozpin not teaching ruby to use her silver eyes or even telling her.

- Yang literally punching a dude in a bar (No I'm not saying he didnt deserve it. But Miles and kerry call it yang brushing him off in the commentary and you dont brush a person off by grabbing them so they couldn't be brushed off, that's the opposite XD)

- Them arriving in mistral and not being in a hurry to tell anyone in charge about cinder, what she plans to do and anything about beacon.

- Oscar literally projecting on ruby for no reason (honestly we didn't need a second jaune, ruby barely get's development but that's a whole other rant.)

- "Humans didn't do this WE did." Bitch they just live there don't tell them they gotta EARN equality, was this written by a brainlet? (Yes it was)

- Ruby punching oscar a kid with no battle experience square in the face during sparring and cheering after.

- Literally forgiving Ironwood, genocidal ass but instantly going "Let's just murder leo the minority. No jail time, no "why's" just end them from Ozpin.

volume 6

- TURN OFF THE TURRETS PROTECTING THE TRAIN AND KILLING GRIMM THE PEOPLE ARE SCARED XD

- Yang trying to intimidate maria for going "hey fighting in a blizzard is dangerous for two reasons, 1. it's a blizzard and 2. Grimm sense all of your guy's anger, we should find shelter." And yang tries to tell her to shut up XD

- Qrow punching a child regardless of his feelings on ozpin, he's still hosting a child's body

- Team RWBY drawing their weapons on oscar

- Oscar helping them find jinn's name and kinda holding ozpin back and then after Qrow punches him yang balls up her fist and demands he bring him back out. (No matter how stressed you are, oscar is still a child and if your uncle is gonna punch, you the more rash of the two will definitely punch.

- Them being invited into jaune's sister's house and jaune putting a hole in the wall and it never comes up with the couple.

- Jaune yelling at oscar and grabbing him by his collar and for some reason the kid looks up to him???

- Ruby's stupid "we never needed adult help" speech while she sits in an adult couple's house and got lead there by adults and learned how to use her silver eyes to save her and her friends by an elderly lady literally standing behind her. (Great, selfish)

- Salem (she isn't a hero but people for some reason sympathize with her) Literally watches people get thanos snapped and just goes "I'll bring more." She had to spend at least a week with these people to form alliances, and get to know some of them and this was all for ONE GUY! This is literally what people laugh at Obito for it's the exact same motivation of making a pile of people's bodies all of their benefit.

- Also Salem: Walking through the empty world literally going "oh no with no people....how will I get my revenge!?" This is shippuden Esc Writing.

Future volumes

(So I stopped at vol 6 thank god but a friend of mine told me what happened in the future arcs.)

- Literally NOW weiss owns up for her family and her complicit attitude only for a new faunus to go "well it doesn't involve me so I dont care."

- Ren calling out yang's rash attitude and then her stepping infront of him fist balled, because again yang thinks she's a god and getting her ideas and thoughts questioned or challenge invites PHYSICAL VIOLENCE.

And no I dont care about future volumes so dont come into my inbox preaching "Oh well jaune ran into a house and saved some kittens so that should absolve all of their heavy flaws cause I'm a smart." : )

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Steph this is a really stupid question but I’m super new to tumblr and just saved a post as a draft to edit and now I can’t find it!! I’m on the mobile app if that helps (with no access to a laptop right now) tysm!!!

Hey Nonny!

Ah do you mean on mobile you don’t know how to get to the drafts? Or you can’t find it in your drafts?

If it’s the prior: 

Click on the little person on the bottom right.

Make sure you’re on the blog you drafted the post to by selecting the blog from the top left pulldown list. The blog currently selected will be the default that the draft saved to. 

On the top right, click on the little gear, this will bring you to the settings.

Fourth one down is your drafts. It’s the STUPIDEST place for it on mobile. Click on that, and your drafts will be in the order you drafted it OR in the order an ask came in on your blog (so like if you’re replying to an ask in you inbox from a month ago and you drafted other posts since then, that ask that you drafted will “save” WAYYYYYYY down the list. It’s SO frustrating but there it is).

When you find the draft you’re looking for, click on the pencil on dots to edit it.

THING TO NOTE: Mobile-to-web are NOT interchangeable, so you can’t make a draft on mobile and edit it on desktop. You can do it the other way, but once you edit it on mobile, then you can’t do anything else with it on desktop. It’s a HUGE FUCKING FLAW with this hellsite, and really fucking annoying, because now it does it with anything you link videos in, meaning any of my JLPL lists have to be PERFECT because I can’t edit them once I draft them. It’s stupid.

If it’s the latter, see number 5, LOL.

I hope that helps! And also, if there’s anything you want to edit on a laptop instead, see number 6. The mobile app is garbage and not user friendly and I discourage its use at every turn.

Good luck Nonny, love you!

[gallickingun]

I don’t know if I’m blind, just stupid, or both, but I heard you have a manual follower count and I can’t find it?? It don’t know if it’s just in Mobile that I can’t see it or smth, but I don’t know what’s up lol. Love your work and remember to take care of yourself! -🦔

If you’re on mobile, you just need to click on the little person on the bottom right that takes you to your blog, and then select the blog you want to view (if you have multiples) by using the drop down menu on the top left. Once you’ve chosen, you should see the little search bar, art icon, and the gear icon. Choose the gear icon, and it’ll show you your settings, which includes being able to see your follower count and inbox!

Thank you so much, sweetheart! I appreciate you stopping by!

[thewriterslament]

writing a resume from scratch

as with literally everything i write, this got really fucking long! like, wordcounter.net estimates this will take 7 minutes to read. so i’ve placed the bulk of this post under a read more

this is not a quick tips kind of post; this is a detailed breakdown of how to write a resume from scratch, with examples that are largely taken from my own resume. this is primarily a resource for people who don’t know where to start with writing a resume, not for people who just want resume hacks

i’m saying all this so i don’t get people in my inbox complaining about how long this is. writing a resume takes a lot of time and effort, and this post does not shy away from that

creating a resume will take you a while, especially if this is your first attempt. don’t be discouraged! take breaks, and don’t try to make the perfect resume on the first try. this tutorial is designed to be completed in rounds

it usually takes me a week to get a new master resume into working order

don’t worry about page length right now. you should make a multipage master resume that contains every relevant experience before making a 1-page resume. after you’ve made the master, you can build custom resumes from it for job applications

this post is best viewed on desktop, because i use nested bullets, and tumblr mobile hates those

let’s get into it!

step 1:

list out everything you’ve ever done that could feasibly count as a resume entry: extracurriculars, jobs, volunteer positions, research, organizations you were a part of (professional or casual), freelance work, long-term hobbies. i will refer to each different experience as an “entry”

for each entry, write where (city + state) and when (timespan) you did that thing 

ex. tritones a cappella group, los angeles, ca, august 20xx - present

going forward, update this list as you join or complete new jobs/hobbies/whatever so that you don’t have to wrack your brain a year down the road wondering how long you held down that job or leadership role

step 2:

describe each entry

use bullet points to list out all the things you did within that role. start with the big picture, then move on to the small stuff

big picture: the goal of the role/organization/research, overarching and long-term projects, what results you were trying to achieve + why

ex. “studied the neuroanatomy and synaptopathy of the inner ear to determine the role of glutamate receptors in hearing loss”

small stuff: literal day-to-day tasks, every software and hardware you worked with, any particularly successful moments

basically, walk through a typical day or week in this role and list out every single thing you have to do, even the grunt work.

ex. “used redcap to administer neuropsychological batteries and collect biological data”

ex. “designed and implemented a novel article format that yielded a 10% increase in audience retention”

if you still have access to the original job posting or a corporate description of responsibilities for your role, pull that up and see how much you can paraphrase from it

no duty is too stupid rn. did you google weather forecasts for your boss every week? write it down. you can make it fancy or choose to delete it later

step 3:

fancify this shit

rewrite your bullet points from step 2 with better jargon. tell your employers what you did in a concise yet assertive manner

it helps to break down each point into its most basic components, which you can then generalize or rephrase 

ex. “googled weather forecasts” might become “compiled weekly reports on changing data points to assess weather trends over time”

use action words. you can find resources all over the internet for this, but if you’re still struggling, shoot me an ask and i’ll link some of the resources i’ve used myself

caution: you don’t want to sound like you used a thesaurus on every word. make sure you aren’t obscuring the meaning of your bullet points. “googled weather forecasts” should not become “utilized online databases to assemble weekly communications on meteorological variations”

start thinking about how your responsibilities for each entry relate to a) what skills you want to showcase and b) what the employer wants from you. does the employer want you to demonstrate familiarity with online databases, or does the employer want you to demonstrate familiarity with weather forecasts? your bullet point for “googled the weather” will change depending on the answer to these questions

step 4: 

look at the big picture

you probably have a metric buttload of bullet points for each entry. now you need to cut that down to what’s relevant. think about which bullets are most impressive, noteworthy, and descriptive of each entry

aim for 3-5 bullet points. any less than that and you have to ask why you’re including that entry. any more than that and the employer’s eyes will glaze over

try to combine bullet points

ex. “identify content and write articles when necessary,” “maintain a pool of freelancers,” and “identify key graphics and maintain tagging structure when uploading articles” all involve the process of creating an article, so they can be combined into: “identify content, assign stories to freelancers, write articles when necessary, and upload with appropriate graphics and tags”

start thinking about tailoring your word choices and bullet points to what the employer is looking for

if you can, pull up the job posting or a sample resume for the job you’re applying to and compare your resume to it. are you using similar language? are you demonstrating similar skills?

jobhero.com is a lifesaver

finally, eliminate redundancy in your resume, both in every individual entry and in the resume as a whole. if a skill can be demonstrated by multiple entries, you only need to list it once

kill your darlings! it may sound harsh, but the things that seem super impressive to you probably won’t even be a blip on the employer’s radar. “but saying i made coffee runs shows i’m dependable and a team player!” the employer isn’t looking that deep, my dude. you can showcase your dependability in your cover letter or your interview

you should redo steps 3 and 4 several times, soliciting feedback from your parents, peers, career center, etc each time

step 5:

add the Other Stuff

education

typically, you should only include institutions for the highest level of education you’ve attended. (undergrad and grad school both count as college for this purpose)

there are exceptions to this, depending on how long you’ve spent at a higher level of education, whether your alma mater will earn you brownie points, whether you had genuinely impressive accomplishments earlier in your life, etc.

once you hit, like, 2 years in college, you should try to get rid of high school achievements and showcase college achievements instead

list the school name, city + state, degree type (BA/MA/etc) and expected graduation date (even if it’s in the future), your major(s) + minor(s), and any related coursework (ie preprofessional tracks, specific courses related to the job). you can list your gpa if you feel it’s relevant, but i caution against doing this once you’ve graduated

ex. (where // indicates a new line) harvard university, boston, ma, may 2020 // bachelor of arts in cognitive neuroscience // minor: english: focus in creative writing // related coursework: pre-medicine, computer science 101 and 102 // gpa: 3.9/4.0 (dean’s list, all semesters)

skills

a list of items without descriptions. you can do a bulleted list or you can list the entries in paragraph form, separated by commas or bold bullets

hard skills: hardware, software, languages (spoken and programming), digital and communication platforms, social media proficiencies, other technologies and devices

ex. microsoft office suite, java, wordpress, slack, familiarity with ap and chicago style

soft skills: general qualities, buzzwords, personality traits

ex. leadership, conflict resolution, time management

certifications and awards

can be one section or two depending on how many of each you have

list each one on a separate bullet point

for each, write the certification or award, the institution that granted it, and the month and/or year you received it if relevant

publications

tbh i just cite my publications in the following format instead of following a style guide

lastname, firstname. “article or chapter title.” book title, publisher (aka company or website). publication date.

if you’re the sole author, you don’t need to list the author’s name

interlude: stretch the truth a bit. don’t lie about having experience or skills you don’t, but if you can reasonably google how to do something, boom! you’re proficient in it. if you worked with two team members who never pulled their weight? you just became the sole project lead. were you a beta reader for anime fanfiction back in the day? you’re a freelance editor, baby!

step 6:

now you have to organize all the entries from step 4

separate your entries into relevant sections. what’s relevant might change based on what you’re applying for

i’ve had, at various points in my life, some subset of the following sections: work experience, volunteer experience, leadership experience, research experience, writing experience, other relevant experience

list sections in order of descending importance

write all entries in reverse chronological order: start with the most recent and work your way backwards

write all bullet points in order of descending importance. unfortunately, i don’t have any quick tips on determining what’s important, but it helps to look at the job posting and see what matters to the employer

i tend to list big picture goals, then personal accomplishments (leadership skills, projects), then daily tasks

step 7:

format this shit

you can find resume templates online or in your word processor. templates serve as a good starting point, but i recommend creating your own format so you can edit and customize it with ease. this will probably involve a lot of fiddling with indentations, paragraph spacing, and moving things around

don’t go smaller than 10pt font

mess around with line and paragraph spacing to get the right balance of white space. if you’re curious about what i use, shoot me an ask and i’ll share my weirdly specific settings

keep an eye out for bullet points with orphan words (ie lines containing only 1-3 words) and get rid of them to streamline your resume

margins can be anywhere between 0.5″ and 1″

consistency is key! make sure each entry has the same kind of spacing. don’t use hyphens in one entry and en dashes in another

in the header, write your name, email, phone number, and address

interlude: save this version of your resume as your master resume. this gives you an unedited list of everything you ever did that you can now pick and choose from when you apply to jobs. update this list every 3-6 months.

step 8:

customize your resume for the job application

unless you’ve been in the industry for several years, your job-specific resume should be no more than 1 page

if you have more than 1 page: compare the job listing and your resume side by side and ask which entries demonstrate your capabilities most effectively, which bullet points are the punchiest, and if there’s any extraneous info

match each job requirement to one bullet point on your resume. then match each bullet point on your resume to a requirement in the listing. get rid of any bullet points that don’t meet either of those criteria. if multiple bullet points match the same job requirement, get rid of the extra bullet points

if you have significantly less than 1 page: see if you can add more bullet points or reformat your resume to introduce some more white space. a 2-column set-up is great for this, with section headers on the left and bullets on the right. do you have any hobbies you’re forgetting about? any soft skills you could add?

emulate the language of the job posting; use the same action words, the same soft skills

coda

your resume should work in tandem with your cover letter, but that’s a topic for another post. maybe in another 6 months i’ll write a post on that, too

always save your resume as a pdf! you don’t want your employer to have access to your metadata

if you made it through this whole post... i’m so sorry lmao but also thanks for sticking with me

let me know if you found this helpful or if this method scored you a job!