#first 500 (ish) words of a fic i've been working on for ages...hoping to finally post the first chapter soon! but for now here's a preview

[f-perspective]

Monsterfucking & You (a geraskier fic preview)

Chapter 1: All Its Sad Goodbyes

Geralt was absolutely not worried about Jaskier. It was perfectly normal for the bard to disappear, especially at night. He was probably -- actually undoubtedly -- just off sleeping with some of the people he had been making eyes at during his performance in the tavern earlier in the evening. So Geralt found himself sitting alone in their shared inn room, definitely not pining. Because witchers don’t pine. He was just annoyed with the unpredictability of his traveling companion, and not knowing whether he was currently dying slowly in some ditch, or being lavished as the centerpiece of  a fantastic orgy that Geralt was, of course, not invited to. 

Grumbling, he finally moved to take off his boots and strip to his smallclothes. Geralt had  been staring at the wall long enough that the cracks were beginning to form faces, and figured it was about time to at least pretend to sleep. Since Jaskier had become a constant in his life, Geralt had gotten used to having him nearby while he slept, so without him, he had no hope for actually sleeping. He refused to think too deeply on why the absence bothered him so much beyond a simple disruption of habit.

He also decided he did not have the energy to once again mentally berate himself about letting a human have such an impact on him, and how it spoke poorly to his future witchering. Never mind the implications for his future more generally after the human’s inevitable -- likely untimely, what with traveling beside a witcher and all the danger that entailed, and Jaskier’s reckless nature besides -- demise. Absolutely not thinking about it.

With his swords resting against a wall and a moody sigh, Geralt fell onto the bed and closed his eyes. His mind thought that precise moment was a fantastic opportunity to serenade him with “Toss a Coin to Your Witcher,” because he obviously didn’t miss Jaskier. Not even a little.

After about the fifth round of the song concluded in his head, Geralt heard a commotion in the hallway outside the room. Feeling content and uninterested, he stayed put. Though, as fate would have it, the noise was coming toward the room. In fact, whoever it was seemed to have taken to repeatedly running into the door to his room. Well, that was enough of an excuse for him to get out of bed and perhaps make some random drunk shit himself. Just Geralt’s type of fun. Getting out of bed and putting  on his meanest witcher face, he opened the door, and found Jaskier — of course it was Jaskier — falling directly into his arms. Ideal, in some other scenario, but concerning or decidedly annoying in this one. 

“Geralt! You will not believe it, I have just seen the most magnificent thing! I saw, prepare yourself, I saw a bouquet of penises!” Jaskier didn’t seem drunk, somehow off, but not drunk. He had managed to grab on to Geralt’s biceps and was staring into his eyes, deeply serious. “It was magnificent.” A brief pause. “Also, I suspect that I may be dying.”