#for @xuoria

[witchedwisteria]

@xuoria requested happy newtmas and who am i to deny <3

there are a number of things that thomas is grateful for in the safe haven. safety is one of them; good food is another. alcohol is certainly up there too - adults here know how to make it better than whatever the hell gally makes, and the honey wine tastes sticky sweet on thomas’ lips as he takes a long gulp, feeling it warm and pool in his gut.

he’s thankful for lots of things, but none of them compare to how thankful he is for his lover.

two pairs of honeyed laughter ring out across the beach; newt and sonya sit together, heads bowed, arms linked as they lean against a bench on the sand, tucked into a blanket. the more thomas looks at them, the more he can’t believe they didn’t notice it before.

newt has a sister, and in some weird way, so does he. teresa flops in the sand beside him, grinning wildly, hair untamed and lips kissed pink. “i still can’t brenda at cards,” she tells him, stealing a sip of his wine. “so i thought i would come save you from your lovesick stares. and your worrying.” her eyes, a bright cerulean, flit down to his pocket. “got the ring?”

thomas grins. “nah.” he points to newt across the beach, and a copper band glints prettily on his finger from across the fire, green sea glass hammered in. “he found it last night, the bastard. all but put it on himself.”

teresa squeals, her own silver band glimmering boldly, a tigers eye stone matching the colour of brenda’s eyes. “to be fair, i doubt he’d let you get down on one knee.” she kisses his cheek. “congratulations,” she murmurs. “let me walk you up the aisle, it’ll be hilarious.” she pats his knee, and then she’s off to pester her wife.

thomas hums, watching her, another thing he’s grateful for, and -

newt’s not next to sonya anymore.

he smiles before he feels the sand shift beside him. he lifts his arm immediately, and newt snuggles into him immediately. “sonya told me to tell you that she’s not pleased you didn’t ask her for my hand. she says she wants my virtue protected.”

thomas snorts. “virtue, huh? sure, yours is definitely still there.” he kisses the unruly tangle of blonde hair, breathing in newt’s eucalyptus and sea salt soap. he’s never been more grateful for anything in his life - newt alive and breathing and so in love with him. if newt was alive and hated him, thomas would still be saturated with relief and gratitude. newt deserves everything. thomas intends to give him everything. there’s a flush to newt’s cheeks, a content glance in his eyes, an honesty in his smile that’s appeared through the wearing of his defences. thomas worked harder to get to newt than he did to get inside the last city, and his victory tastes sweet as he tips his head down to capture newt’s mouth in his.

thomas thinks often about gratitude. he remembers weeping his thanks to imaginary gods when the blackness creeped away from his fiancé’s eyes to reveal eyes the colour of their morning coffee. he remembers gasping relief when teresa was pulled up into the berg with him, out of the fire and into brenda’s arms. he remembers tasting newt for the first time, new and timeless all at once as they kissed.

when they pull away, newt hums once. “shall we go to bed?” he asks, tone saturated with mischief.

oh, how they love.

“go on then,” thomas murmurs back, beaming. “i love you,” he whispers.

he’s grateful for a lot of things. but newt led him here. he’ll always be the most grateful for him.

[dangerdaystracknine]

plsplsplspls go read "Look After You" by draronoliver if you want a rly long GOOD newtmas fic because i read it in april and then remembered it existed and now im rereading it and remembering how good it is.

[newtness532]

i started doing the soldier poet king picrew but i forgot that i wasn't making a regular picrew until i was already done and i really like it so im starting a new chain

picrew link

no pressure tags: @eepybubble @lirdgorl @rainysaturdayafternoon @xuoria @myladyofmercy @solitary-pelican +everyone else

[bellzsad]

thanks for the tag, @ivesterrarium !!

LAST SONG I LISTENED TO: let the light in by lana del rey and father john misty

FAVORITE COLOR: it’s between a deep red and navy blue for me

LAST MOVIE/SHOW: my last movie was (500) days of summer and my last show was the 100 - although i’m not finished and will continue with it… i just found a good place to take a break and am watching another show atm!!

CURRENTLY WATCHING: skins (i’m on s3e5 right now - LET ME TELL YOU YOU I WAS SHOCKED WITH THE SEASON ONE FINALE and i think the second to last ep in the second season)

SWEET/SPICY/SAVORY: sweet and savory, my spice tolerance is sort of bad. not that bad actually, but it’s def weak 😭

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single!! not sure if i’m ready for a relationship or not but i definitely want to experience something with someone. that something can be valentine’s day because PLEASE someone give me flowers 🙏

CURRENT OBSESSION: maze runner, obviously. specifically newtmas (oops). skins, sort of - and i’d love to say miraculous but unfortunately the obsession period has come to an end along with this long ass hiatus 😓 i’m sure i’ll start fangirling over it when season six comes, though!!

LAST THING I GOOGLED: “is it normal for there tk be sparks when you plug into an outlet” myself at 11pm last night was stressedd over whether i was going to start a fire overnight because my outlet is right next to my bed and blankets and shit. it wasn’t even that late but i was kinda going crazy (jk!)

tags!! @angelliicc @myladyofmercy @thatnerdybookgirliscool @who-said-im-real @books-4-life9 @xuoria + anyone else! (sorry if i forgot u)

[imactuallyagiraffe]

@xuoria 😭😭

idk what crastination is but my mum says i’m a pro at it

[dangerdaystracknine]

randomly following you with the expectation that you browse my profile and see that i am just a weird little freak as you and then we skip off into the sunset and become best friends

[thomasbrodiesandwich]

thanks for tagging me my dig bicked buddy @dakogutin

currently reading: the hunger games by suzanne collins (been rereading the trilogy bcs of that new the ballad of songbirds and snakes trailer im so damn hypedddd)

favourite colour: pink✨

last song: le festin - Michael Giacchino, Camille (lol i was trying to sing it last night bcs i cldnt sleep [i cant speak french - it was horrible, i amused myself💀])

last movie: Bullet Train (reasons to watch this film: 🍊&🍋)

sweet/spicy/savoury: sweet (love a good dessert)

currently working on: a marauders fic in a maze runner au :) (im actually so excited to share this one)

tags: @unsmokedroses @xuoria @xoxotommyxoxo @myfloreanfortescue @turnsyourlifeintofolklore13 @alicewonderlandcollins @flowerpottlady if u guys havent done it yet or wud want to :D

[witchedwisteria]

@xuoria wanted ‘so much angst it hurts’ so blame them again!!! x, you asked for this.

thomas sees blonde everywhere. in sonya, in the sand beneath his feet, in the pale yellow of the sunset in winter. he sees it in his dreams, newt’s hair fanned out on the pillow next to him, threaded between his fingers.

he sees red, too. in brenda’s favourite shirt, in the apples growing in the orchard (he can’t go near the gardens, he just can’t), in the blood of the sunset. he sees it seeping through newt’s shirt and dripping onto the floor, sticky and hot.

he doesn’t want to forget. he doesn’t - he wakes up sobbing every night with anguish and gratitude. because if he remembers that then he remembers the little half smile on newt’s familiar mouth before he collapsed in his arms, and that…he would take every ounce of torture to get another glimpse of newt’s happiness.

it has been five years. brenda and frypan have a little one on the way. sonya and harriet are married. minho and gally are…something.

and yet, thomas is the one most committed.

a girl came up to him, once, with dark hair and green eyes. she was all coy, gentle scheming touches, until thomas tells her no.

“i’m in love,” he tells her honestly. minho closes his eyes in pain from across the fire. “i’m waiting, until i can see him again.”

she scoffs. newt is as famous as thomas here; the wicked children they’d saved ask thomas and minho for stories of the boy with the strange accent, and minho seems determined to preserve newt’s fearlessness. she knows who the ‘him’ in question is. “it’s been years, and he didn’t look anything special-“

thomas is shoving her off, red hot fury pulsing through him. “don’t you dare,” he snarls. he relishes in feeling something other than grief. “he was everything - he is everything. i love him. he loved me, and i’ll never love again as long as i can - “ he shakes his head, hand finding the familiar metal under his shirt, and runs off. he’s always been good at running.

not anything special?

thomas slams into his tent, shaking. he doesn’t know what to do. his memories of newt are slipping, and even now he knows that newt was the most beautiful thing he will ever see, an odd juxtaposition of tenses. because newt is here and gone, present and distant. thomas wants him nearer.

there is a knock on the tree by his tent. a woman stands there - an old wckd defect, an ex scientist. she holds a faded paper copy of records. “i am sorry,” she whispers. “i kept them because i…wasn’t sure if by giving them i would do more harm than good.” she passes it over, and thomas opens it silently.

it’s records. hundreds of them, labelled ‘A2 and A5.’ thomas’ heart jumps. there are photos.

he sees newt. he doesn’t register that he’s alone again; he sinks to the floor and cradles the worn black and white security images of them as children as if they’re his last sip of water in the scorch again.

there are photos of them in the maze, the labs, in the last city. surveillance of them, grainy and terrible in quality, but thomas can make out the thin curve of newt’s mouth, the lightness of his frame, the way his body curves next to him.

how can he move on when just a photo takes his breath away?

he clings onto the pieces of newt’s memory and sobs; he’s half agony half relief, and he reaches the last page of the record and -

it’s them kissing in the last city. maybe two hours before newt died. thomas is supporting him, protecting him, but they’ve paused. newt’s fingers are soft and gentle on thomas’ jaw; thomas’ hands are protective on his waist. it was their last kiss.

he presses his mouth to the paper, and closes his eyes.

that night, he dreams of the kiss instead of newt’s body collapsing in front of him.

[dangerdaystracknine]

hey tumblr guess who watched tdc again and is now recycling through every human emotion possible because all they can think about is newtmas and newt and newts letter ans oh my god its so sad

[witchedwisteria]

for @xuoria.

when thomas pushes himself up and breathes sharp air tinged with sea salt, minho is waiting. he grips his shoulder and grins, dark eyes shining with a beat of happiness rarely there. “we took bets on who would wake up first,” he teases, gesturing behind him, and oh -

newt is beautiful; he has always been beautiful to thomas, but there are no dark veins alongside his throat and face and his face is relaxed peacefully in sleep. he is bandaged, and breathing, and sleeping. thomas falls over on the way there, dropping to his knees and cupping his face. hope and relief surges up in him so rapidly he lets out a hysterical laugh, and he feels like a crank, losing grip of everything from the sheer amount of feeling. he is here. newt is here. and he loves him.

“doctor’s think he’ll wake up soon, but they’re still not sure. he’s better, but…there’s no medical stuff here. we won’t know until he wakes up,” minho comments softly.

newt does wake up.

the next morning, thomas stirs, and peers over at the cot holding him. his eyes are open, dark eyes so familiar and so beautiful, and thomas’ heart soars, and he opens his mouth, but newt’s eyes are not looking at him and they are not closing and oh, no, please, no-

newt wakes and dies in paradise. but he never got to see any of it. never got to feel the warmth of the ocean in summer, to taste frypan’s new coconut pancakes in the morning, to finally get peace. doctors wrap him in cloth, and thomas presses his forehead against a cold, still chest and wails. it is the last noise he makes for a long time.

thomas sees paradise for one day, and then never sees it again. the warm colours fade the moment they bury newt under the largest tree they find, blossoming spring colours. thomas presses his hand against disturbed earth, as if he wants to reach down and pull his lover back up. he doesn’t even have a coffin. they don’t have wood to spare, and newt would have liked being buried close to the earth, anyway.

gally began to dig in the middle of the space in front of the tree, at first, but thomas remembers stopping him. “to the right,” he whispers. “save a space there.” because he will be buried with newt. he just has to wait in his second maze and build his own walls to cling to his grief.

[witchedwisteria]

@xuoria therapy. now

[newtness532]

thanks for tagging me <3

nothing matters by tldp

everywhere, everything by noah kahan

without you without them by boygenius

true blue by boygenius

northern attitude by noah kahan (with hozier)

even by julien baker

stick season by noah kahan

someone new by hozier

seven days walking/ day 5: full moon by ludovico einaudi

seven days walking/ day 3: cold wind by ludovico einaudi

2002 by anne marie

(i didn't have any songs in my playlists starting with 3 or 5)

no pressure tags: @eepybubble @lirdgorl @xuoria @geolato @sugaroto +open tags

got tagged by @tessabennet to do another one of these but since I've changed my url since the last time i did it i might as well...

rules: pick a song for each letter of your URL and tag that many people.

(as a challenge i tried to only pick songs from my spotify wrapped but sadly that didn't work out 100%)

my lady of mercy by the last dinner party

you're not getting out of here by john paesano

look at us now (honeycomb) by daisy jones & the six

a.m. radio by the lumineers

dinner & diatribes by hozier

youth by troye sivan

on your side by the last dinner party

francesca by hozier

mermaids by florence and the machine

exist for love by aurora

runner's high by muna

cherry wine (live) by hozier

you're a germ by wolf alice

(i did not have enough y songs in my wrapped so i substituted those with songs that honestly deserved to be there and i am confused why they weren't)

tagging (without pressure) @scrapsofinspiration @newtness532 @go-catch-a-chickn @cantputitintowords @youweremyversaillesatnight @bellzsad @lazybug16 @carladuquette @tooindecisivetopickaurl @i-love-semicolons @acdiazterbi @likemonstersinlove @tmrsunset

[witchedwisteria]

‘hold onto the memories, i will hold onto you.’

for @xuoria - i promised i’d write something happy for you!!

thomas struggles to forget most of what happened in the last city. he remembers the fiery arc of bombs and missiles across the midnight skyline, the imposing cityscape crumbling to ash and dust.

he remembers newt crumbling, too, like a canary with a broken wing.

newt almost seemed like a bird sometimes, to thomas. observant, everywhere and nowhere all at once. thomas hadn’t noticed how beautiful bird song was before it went quiet and the canary died on the floor, scared and alone.

thomas remembers cradling him to his chest and just willing, willing with the force of a thousand suns for newt to hold onto him. hold onto me, and i will hold onto you. because that was how newt and thomas worked. how they should have worked, forever, but newt is so out of touch and he’s collapsing in on himself and now newt is the midnight city skyline, his mind a beautiful striking light, and the flare is the inferno coming for him.

newt and the city cannot be saved. they are both reduced to ash and rubble, and thomas hopes to god he never sees blue that colour again -

he wakes every night in paradise to the black-blue of the ocean tide lapping at the rocks by his tent. large enough - meant to suit three, but minho had given up his space to chase around gally with too soft eyes. huh.

maybe they don’t need cities. maybe the cityscapes and rebellions will stay tucked in the corner of his mind as the fate he had managed to avoided, because -

newt isn’t blue. asleep next to him, he’s the colour of the sand thomas can’t get rid of in the showers and not the orange of a battle, but the orange of the oil lamp by their bed softly glowing.

he cracks one eye open, the amber reflecting in the darkness of his eyes, and raises one sleepy eyebrow.

thomas would remember every moment in the last city if it meant remembering this. “not a bad dream,” he mumbles immediately, “just…a memory.”

“good or bad?” newt replies, pushing up on one elbow. he’s always been more in tune with thomas with anyone.

thomas looks at him; at the sleepiness in his eyes, at the tiny flecked scar where teresa had yanked the needle out in their rush to give newt the cure and get out, at the copper ring on his finger. he thinks back to the vermillion azure skyline framing newt as he blinked back to life, and settles back down to welcome newt back to his chest. “pretty good,” he murmurs, pressing his lips to his husband’s forehead. “but i have better things to remember now.”

[thomasbrodiesandwich]

omg @xuoria ur name is beautiful whattt—!! thanks for the tag<33 :*

N - Never Ending Song (Conan Gray)

I - IN A DREAM (Troye Sivan)

K - Kathang Isip (Ben&Ben)

K - Kiss Goodnight (IDKHOW)

I - I Think He Knows (Taylor Swift)

tagging: (if u havent done it yet^^) @dakogutin @normal-is-a-raging-psychopath @goodbi-rosiegold @acecereal @xoxotommyxoxo (or any of you moots who wanna do it, use this post to reblog :D)

spell out your name or url with songs !!

P - Prom Queen (Beach Bunny)

I - I’ll Make Cereal (Cavetown)

G - girls (girl in red)

E - Empty Bed (Cavetown)

O - Oh Ana (Mother Mother)

N - No Surprised (Radiohead)

tagging: @angerycat @ast3ria-blue @swiftieannah @melancholy-melomaniac @melancholypessimism @whyybesocial @i-have-no-idea-111 @the-literary-anything-blog @underappreciatedtomato @livelaughlovebillzo @charlie-is-missing @chronic-stressed @v4nillaskies @nonsensical-space-ghost @alm0std34d and any other mutuals or people who want to join in !!

[dangerdaystracknine]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJJHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJ

◆ newtmas week ◆ day five: favorite tropes

[dangerdaystracknine]

IS THIS netwmasNEWTMAS

OHH MY GODSS'qnqbqnn Freaks out if it is

Realized tumblr should have been the first place I posted this I’m just a bit dumb. Anyway I think about them a lot