#for a commitment-phobic guy he sure does have a history of trying to commit

[mashbrainrot]

we don't talk about hawkeye wanting to marry nurse erika enough tbh

[swesthetics]

A LIST OF SWAN QUEEN FAN FICTION

B/C I KNOW Y’ALL ARE TIRED OF LOOKING FOR SWANQUEEN FANFIC RECS ON TUMBLR SO HERES THE GOOD SHIT.

all of these are in english

if you have any recommendations or additions, please let me know!

some fanfictions that i originally planned to include on this list were deleted by their authors :( 

CLASSICS (favorites)

The Art Of Being Extraordinary - if you haven’t read this already, wyd? The ending will destroy you - be prepared to cry. 

Letters From War - another extremely well known fic among swen. a heart-wrenching and beautifully written AU fic. even if AUs aren’t your thing, seriously, give this one a try.

Emma is a soldier on reserve in Fort Benning. Regina is the Mayor of Storybrooke. Through a pen pal program designed to ease the ache of homesick soldiers, Emma and Regina begin sending letters to one another as their relationship grows from cordial acquaintance to something neither woman would have expected - until the letters stop coming.

A Trail Of Destruction - DEFINITELY a classic imo. this is one of my favorite fanfictions of all time.

A hostage situation in City Hall leaves behind a battered, broken sheriff, and a mayor wracked with guilt. Trigger warnings for violence and gun threats and general angst. Slow-burn swan queen.

Miles To Go - AU; emma and regina meet at a party and the rest is history. this ones pretty long (80 chapters), but so worth the read! angsty & lots of ‘sexy times’ 

Everyone has their own story, this one is theirs and it paints the picture of a love story that spans over two decades, with all the ups and downs and everything else in between. SwanQueen AU  

Of Love and Loathing - a lot of angry sex in the beginning, which eventually turns into lovey sex. another well known and well written fic - this author is one of my favorites. *reaaallyyy hot smut 

"I have been sleeping with someone," Regina began tentatively, an acute awareness that once she said the words out loud that the madness behind her highly unorthodox situation became all the more real, "whom I absolutely loathe." •Emma/Regina•

Meet me Halfway - one of the first swan queen fan fictions i ever read! still a classic to this day. AU

Emma Swan works hard every night as a bartender, struggling to raise her son and save up enough to own her own bar. Regina Mills is an upper class New York photographer who wouldn't normally spare a second glance at people below her. When their paths cross, their lives adapt to each other, but how much are they willing to change?

Love Undefined - in the process of re-reading this one because of how much i love it. angsty as hell but such a beautiful story.

It’s been eight years since the last time Regina and Emma saw each other, eight years since Emma lost part of her happiness, her family, and everything fell apart. But she hasn’t forgotten those three years in New York, or any of what Regina had brought into her life. A late night phone call to Regina takes Emma back eleven years to when they met, saved each other from loneliness, and Emma started learning what it meant to live. She relives the moments that had changed her life for the better, and even the ones that had hurt.

Teacher’s Pet - KNOWN AS THE ONE TEACHER/STUDENT FANFIC THAT EVERYONE HAS READ. 

Emma Swan is starting her senior year. Her friends tell her about the Creative Writing teacher that she has on her schedule and how no one had passed her class with an A, not even her bookworm friend, Belle. What will she do? And who exactly is this 'bitchy Evil Queen' as they claim her to be? SwanQueen. Student/Teacher. M for language and future chapters.

Lost in Translation - i wasn’t sure about this before reading it but i LOVED it. the description pretty much sums it up.

AU. Regina is deaf. Emma is the only one who refuses to give her pity. In response, Regina is thrilled by this new challenge and the stand-offs commence, but over time she finds out there is more to the blonde woman than just a target to throw a stinging quip and pointed glare at.

Send Up a Signal - emma and regina are actresses and their fans ship them with each other. ;)

Emma Swan is catapulted into stardom, the newest lead actress on a sanitized show featuring modern fairytales. Regina Mills is a long-undermined star with a chip on her shoulder and a thousand reasons why she's invested. Naturally, they loathe each other on sight.Their characters' fanbases, however, have other ideas.

Reset - SO. GOOD. 95 chapters. if you’re looking for long fanfics, this is for you. 

Following the breaking of the curse everyone in Storybrooke is finding their happy ending, with one exception. Resigning herself to having lost Henry’s love and respect forever, Regina decides there is only one path available to her.

Take Me Home Tonight - AU!! lots of smut :) this is a newer one that i’ve seen around twitter and tumblr and i really enjoyed it! this one’s pretty short (14 chapters)

AU: Nineteen year old Emma Swan is a senior at the exclusive all girls boarding school, Foxhaven Academy. When her friends find out she's a virgin they send her to the city to find a guy to take her v-card. But Emma is more interested in a sexy older woman she meets in a bar. A SwanQueen story.

The Staircase - non-consensual sex in the first chapter, so please be aware of that; its not for eveyone. this story is very dark but has a happy ending i promise!

Regina could still smell her cologne and feel the cheap pleather pressing into her back. The brunette sucked in a breath. She was still lying on the floor at the staircase's base and she stared back up at it. Everything was different now. Changed. She felt broken by what had just happened, appalled and enraged, dirty. WARNING: NC17 for non-consensual sex. Dark. (But gets lighter.)

the trouble with emma - very very well known within the swan queen community. i’ll be honest, i never really got into the story but i can acknowledge that it is the most well-written fanfiction i have read to date. the author is truly talented. (the first in a series of fanfics)

Post ep 4x23, Emma becomes the Dark One and learns nothing is quite as it seems or as simple as black versus white. When Regina removes the curse no one in Storybrooke is prepared for the far reaching fallout which leaves none of their lives unaltered or untouched, least of all Regina's.

SMUT 

shadow haven  - the one smut fic everyone has read.

Emma Swan is a PR agent who is sent on a holiday by her boss. Regina Mills is the owner of a private island named Shadow Haven. There is more to Regina than initially meets the eye. This story dips heavily into the BDSM subculture. Swan Queen romance / BDSM story.

the wicked stepmother - the one kinky fic everyone has read- or attempted to. i couldn’t get through the whole thing but the first few chapters,,, holy hell.

When the Evil Queen catches baby Emma along with Snow White, she decides on a new revenge. In Storybrooke, Snow White will be allowed to raise her daughter... but on her eighteenth birthday, Regina will come for her. Emma might just enjoy that.

in control  - Regina had never been in the habit of relinquishing control, but when it came to Emma Swan, she was starting to find out that giving in had its benefits. - Established Swan Queen - One Shot. Rated M for language and content.

the collar - It will carry strong mature themes as well as a Mistress/Slave relationship but it is also a lot more than that. However, as a warning this story will celebrate the shades of grey of our favourite couple as they find their way to each other and will deal with darker elements of their characters. Emma's history differs a little from canon but will be covered by the story but there is no Henry and she is an adult in this fiction.

a little taste  - author of A Fine Line and Letters from War. 

Emma has been desperate to know what it's like to kiss the smirk off of Regina Mills, but when she finally gets the chance, it doesn't seem to be enough.

tempest - A storm ushers in an expected opportunity for Regina to finally rid herself of Emma Swan. She will posses the sheriff's heart and then crush it. But what happens when nothing goes as planned? Rated M for language and Swan Queen sexytimes.

come on be nice - Regina has decided that the quickest way to get rid of Emma Swan is to scare off the commitment phobic woman with a come-on. This, as with many of Regina's plans, does not go as, well, planned. Rated M for Swan Queen sex.

black lace - Emma and Henry find a way around the 'no visiting' rule involving binoculars and the walkie talkie. Emma's attention is fully on her son, she truly doesn't intend to watch Regina at all. At least until the mayor begins undressing in front of her window..

dirty words - Regina is plagued by thoughts of a certain blonde. Deciding she is in need of cathartic release, she writes a quick narrative in hopes of cleansing her system. However, by a happy accident, the story falls into the wrong hands. What will Emma do with this new and intriguing insight into the mayor's mind?

damn you, miss swan -  Emma visits the mayor one night with a bottle of wine to cheer her up. Anger issues and smeared lippy ensues. WARNING: Includes a non-explicit passing reference to rape. This is my first story. A/N Jan 2015: Way back when I wrote this, no one knew anyone's back stories, so I just made up stuff. Don't be upset for canon divergence if you read it now. It wasn't canon then.

mirror tricks - The Evil Queen has made her way to Storybrooke, but she only seems to be interested in one thing: Emma. When Regina realises this, her jealousy starts to get the better of her.

my enemy’s enemy - After her mother's death, Regina finds a terrible surprise hidden among the witch's belongings. Unfortunately, the only one able to cure her from the ailment is Emma...if she agrees. Strong language and mature themes. First stab at SwanQueen :)

ANGST

to remember her happy ending - "She doesn't even remember her family! How am I going to explain this to her when she hates me!" She was falling apart now. The way the women in the other room had just looked at her, with such disdain. That wasn't her wife. That was the Mayor, the Evil Queen maybe…but not her wife.

for endings are where we begin - Regina Mills is your average working mom - she spends long hours at her bakery, loves her son Henry with all that she is, and can touch dead things and bring them back to life.Emma Swan is an orphan, an ex-convict, and a bail bondsperson residing in Massachusetts. She is also currently dead.This is the story of how they meet.

the loudest silence - New to Chicago Emma, a professional cellist, is shocked to find that a beautiful deaf woman is her new president of the board. As their friendship grows Emma begins to wonder, what does it look like when a world of sound and a world of silence meet somewhere in the middle? SwanQueen AU

broken - 16 year Emma Swan is a preachers daughter on a tight leash, what happens when Regina Mills returns to town, dark, mysterious and dangerous? Will her father's expectations take over or will Emma follow her heart? Is Regina legit or is Emma cute little pawn? Will Emma be able to love Regina for who she is or will her dark past ruin it ALL! SwanQueen G!P Some BDSM

bring her home - Cora’s dead. Henry lives with the Charmings. Regina continues spiraling through grief and loss and hatred. Then Emma suddenly falls unconscious and Henry shows up at Regina's door because he needs her help to bring Emma back. Reluctantly, Regina embarks on a wild swan chase through Emma’s mind, a whirlwind of ‘roads‐less‐traveled’ and ‘what‐ifs’ and ‘might‐have‐beens’, in order to bring her home.

if the blazer fits - Emma decides to dress up like Regina for a Halloween party at The Rabbit Hole, a seemingly innocent decision that surprisingly leads to a relationship. The romance is openly feared by some and secretly despised by an unlikely source, who plots to end it.

a fine line - Upon Regina's banishment, the small town of Storybrooke becomes protected once again by an enchantment that prevents anyone from leaving or entering Storybrooke. Emma and Regina find themselves on the edge of the town, wishing for a way to the other side.

a pale imitation - Regina is furious with Emma after she brings back Marian, but since she can't take it out on her, Regina creates a mindless clone of Emma to hit instead. The clone doesn't stay mindless for long though, developing an obsession with Regina. Written for summer 2014 Swan Queen Big Bang. (TW for sexual assault/rape and graphic depictions of violence)

FLUFF

one fine mess - Regina's gut twisted with an agonizing pull and, for just a moment, she thought she might need to take up the same position as the woman crouched before her. "You're pregnant?" she whispered grimly. Emma's only response was to turn and retch into the toilet again. — Swan Queen, magic!pregnancy

coffee at midnight - (so good) Slow burn AU that starts with two women from different parts of the USA meeting on Twitter. Emma is an insomniac loner who is a Personal Trainer. Regina is a writer with a sleepless baby. Their lack of sleep and love for coffee soon brings them together and after that they find it hard to part. This is a fic where coffee is taking to mythical levels, despite it’s bad effect on people with insomnia and people with babies - showing that sometimes what you need and want isn’t always the thing that is wholesome and harmless. But also that denying yourself it will only lead to misery, something which Regina has to apply to other parts of her life.

all the single ladies - With the library in desperate need of renovation, Storybrooke prepares for a fundraising dinner and bachelorette auction. What mischief and romance can be found as a result? SwanQueen with some RedBeauty Rating has been raised to M - now including adult content.

TEACHER+STUDENT / EMPLOYEE+BOSS

teacher’s pet - see above (classics)

take me home tonight - see above (classics)

step into my office, baby  - This is what you get for doing the nice thing, Emma thinks. You do that whole Pay It Forward bullshit - you buy a lady some coffee and you pretend like it isn’t totally motivated by how she looks in a pencil skirt - and she goes and insults your business card and turns out to be your company’s new Executive Director. Real fucking cute.From now on, she is drinking tea.or, the one where they're in an office.

teaching miss mills  - Swan Queen Teacher AU: Emma is a gym teacher, who moves to Storybrooke Academy after becoming disenchanted with her job back in Boston. Regina Mills is the Head of English who Emma somehow seems to keep having run-ins with, despite the best of intentions. Along the way, Emma adjusts to small-town life, gets her teaching mojo back and grows closer to Regina. NOW COMPLETE

troubled teachers - COMPLETE! SwanQueen AU. Geography teacher Emma Swan starts a new life far from her troubled past and meets history teacher Regina Mills. But all is not as it seems when it comes to the composed, intelligent, and beautiful brunette. Family struggles and difficult relationships lead to a friendship and soon something more blossoms. Rated M for Ch 7, 18, 22, 24, 28, 29, 31, 35 and 38

not a virgin anymore - When college student Emma Swan wakes up one morning with no memory of what happened the night before she's very surprised she finds herself in professor Mills's bed. 

is that so, miss swan? - College student, Emma Swan, is confronted by her favorite professor and secret heart-throb, Dr. Regina Mills. What happens when Emma is forced to reveal her secrets? We shall see. AU. Slightly OOC at times. No magic. SwanQueen. Rated M for serious language and eventual sexy times between our two favorite ladies.

butterfly effect - in her final year of college, Emma finds she has more to account for than the extra credits she needs in order to graduate. Only... she doesn't expect it to come in the form of her newest instructor, Professor Regina Mills. Complete. AU Swan Queen

a sophisticated seduction - Emma's a college student, working as an intern at the Dazzle Magazine for a powerful woman she has never had the good fortune of meeting. But everything in her life is about to change when they finally meet. Especially when one falls so deeply in love with the other and the insecurities from a broken marriage comes to light. (Not Based on The Devil Wears Prada)

some other faves

down east decisions - Massachusetts State Police Capt. Emma Swan leaves her red-hot career to become the police chief of sleepy Storybrooke, Maine. She's hoping for a less-complicated, less-dangerous life, a desire that is dashed on both counts. AU. No magic. Crime drama and romance. Swan Queen is endgame.

that drunken night - Emma's wasted and accidentally calls Regina instead of her mom. And Regina isn't as loathe to talk to the blonde as she usually pretends. Did things change between them so radically while they were in Neverland? (No copyright infringement intended.)

chasing henry - SQ. Tired of the tricks and lies of both of his mothers, Henry follows the dwarves, Red and Granny when they use Tiny's magic beans to return themselves to their old land. Emma and Regina both chase after him, and they reluctantly travel together through the Enchanted Forest in order to find him and bring him back home safely.

so does this make us both the other woman? - Set after 3b in a peaceful Storybrooke where Regina is with Robin and Emma's fallen into a relationship with Hook. Shame about all that subtext that's rapidly threatening to become text.

[travisandersondatingblog]

How to Handle Commitment-Phobic Men (3 Simple Tips!)

I hear this a lot from the Sexy Confidence community: so many women feel like they’re surrounded by commitment-phobic men and that they keep attracting them. This tends to be their #1 frustration with the 21st-century dating scene.

So why do so many men seem to fear commitment?

Is it you? Are you doing something wrong that draws these commitment-phobic men?

Let me just start out by saying absolutely not. You are not doing anything wrong. Yes, there seems to be an epidemic when it comes to men who are afraid of commitment, but with a little insight, you can learn how to spot them early and deal with them quickly.

3 Reasons You Might Be Attracting Commitment-Phobic Men

Do men seem to run from you? That’s their problem, not yours.

So while you’re not doing anything wrong, you do need to look at what could be an underlying cause for you attracting commitment-phobic men who don’t want a relationship.

1. You’re Not Actually Ready for a Relationship

I know a lot of women say they want a relationship, but the reality is that they aren’t ready for one. Maybe they want companionship but aren’t willing to change anything about their lifestyle to make room for one. Does that describe you? Can you see sharing your life with someone, or are you more attached to the idea of going on dates or just having sex?

If you’re not really ready to commit deep down, you will attract men who aren’t ready for commitment. On the other hand, if you’re fully ready to share your world with someone, you will attract a man who can do the same for you.

2. You’re Looking in the Wrong Places

I feel like this should be a little obvious but: Tinder is not the place to meet a boyfriend. A bar is not the place to meet a man who will commit. Where you look for love will greatly impact your ability to find it.

(And yes, I know some couples do meet on Tinder or in a bar, but the likelihood is pretty small. There are better avenues.)

If you’re frustrated because you keep meeting men who just want to hook up, consider where you’re meeting them. Then change the scene. Find a singles meetup group. Smile at the guy in the coffee shop. Change up where you look, and you’ll get different results.

3. You’re Stuck in a Rut

Maybe you dated a commitment-phobe biker a few years ago, and now it seems like commitment-phobe bikers are all you date. Probably you became a part of that community, so your access to men outside of that circle is fairly limited. You’re in a rut.

It’s time to get out of your comfort zone. Meet men in other groups. Maybe don’t ask Biker Bob to set you up with a friend. It’s within your power to mix things up to make changes in your love life.

Signs You’re Dating a Commitment-Phobic Man

via GIPHY

So now that you know a few of the reasons you might keep attracting men with commitment issues, let’s assess whether the guy you’re with is afraid to commit to you. My guess is: if you have to ask, he probably is.

1. He’s Never Been Married or Had a Long Relationship

I encourage women to ask a man they’re dating pretty early on whether he’s ever been married or had a long relationship. The answer to this is quite telling, actually. If his longest relationship was three months, you’ve got to wonder why. Sure, maybe he just hasn’t met The One, but if he’s in his 40s or 50s, he’s had ample opportunity to give a relationship (or three) a chance for more than a few months.

Certainly, he doesn’t have to have been married to be able to commit. But he should have at least a reasonable relationship history that shows you that he’s able to commit to a woman.

2. He Says He’s Just Looking for Something Casual

Again, another obvious sign of commitment-phobic men: they tell you they don’t want to commit! I don’t care how much you dig this guy: if he tells you he wants something casual, you will never turn him into boyfriend material.

I know you might have difficulty separating emotions from a physical relationship, but men are able to sort of shut off emotions if they’re not looking for a relationship. Maybe he’s about to move out of state and doesn’t want to get tied down with a relationship. Maybe he got burned in the recent past by love. But he still wants sex or at least companionship, so he says he wants to “keep things light.”

Listen to him! He means it. If you’re okay with things never escalating beyond casual, then fine. But if you’re lying to yourself, hoping that he’ll fall madly in love with you, you are in for heartbreak.

3. He Never Talks About the Future

Ask yourself: has this guy ever made plans more than a week or two out? Does he talk about the far-off future, like when you’re married or when you have kids together? If you’ve been dating more than a month or two and he’s not doing any of that, there’s a good chance it’s because he doesn’t see a future with you. Sure, maybe he’s slow to fall in love, but you have to realize that you may be the only one making plans in your head about the two of you down the road.

What does he do or say when you bring up the future? If you were to try to make plans in a month or two, would he agree or come up with an excuse about why he can’t do it? When you talk about being together years from now, what’s his reaction? Pay attention, because his reaction is probably telling you more than you’re willing to admit about his interest in committing to you.

4. He is Dating Other Women

He may not flat out tell you that he’s seeing other women, but assume that if he’s not committed to you, he’s dating other women.  How do you know?

Does he often have other plans but is vague when you ask for details?

Does he cancel plans with you often?

Do you have trouble reaching him in the evenings?

Does he only seem to want to have sex?

If you feel like he’s using you as part of his rotation of women, you’re probably right. You can confront him and flat out ask him if he��s dating other women, but be prepared that he might lie because he still wants you on his roster.

5. He Runs Hot Then Cold

One minute he’s calling you baby and only has eyes for you…the next you don’t see him for a week or three. If he seems to be all hot for you then suddenly goes cold, it could be because he’s one of these commitment-phobic men. He likes you…but he’s afraid of spending too much time with you lest you fall for him and then he has to deal with his fear of being in a relationship. And he knows you’ll probably walk away if it comes to that because you are strong and confident, and he knows that type of woman won’t put up with his sh#& for long. So he goes in and out of your life, hoping you won’t notice.

What to Do When Dating Commitment-Phobic Men

Okay, so now you realize the guy you’re dating is totally afraid of commitment. Now what? Do you hold out with the hope that he’ll change? Dump him without discussing? It will, of course, depend on your personality and his, but here are a few tips I’ve seen work in my many years working as a dating and relationship coach.

Let Him Know Up Front What You Want

The best way to avoid ending up in a frustrating situation with a man who will never commit is to be upfront about what you want. This even means on your dating profile: you’ll often see profiles for both men and women that say “looking for LTR” or “just looking for a hookup.” I actually applaud this because it sets expectations right from the start. If a man wants something casual, he should be responsible enough to not swipe right on a woman’s profile that makes it clear that she wants a relationship. What’s the point? He won’t change your mind about what you want any more than you will change his.

Likewise, when you’re sifting through men’s profiles, disqualify them right away if they make it clear they don’t want a relationship. You’ll save yourself a lot of trouble later.

But if you are dating someone, it never hurts to ask what he’s looking for early on. Some men get uncomfortable with the question, thinking you’re looking for your next husband (these are usually the commitment-phobic men), but simply saying “something of substance” versus “something casual��� is all you need to know. Make it clear that you’re looking for the former.

Be Patient…If You Think There’s Potential

Not every man who hasn’t professed his love for you by Month Two is a commitment-phobe. Some men just prefer to go really slowly getting to know a woman and start a relationship with her. If you’ve talked to him and he says he wants a relationship, give it time. He knows what you want and has agreed that he wants the same. So you need to be patient and let the relationship unfold.

But here’s my caveat: set a time limit for how long you’ll wait around. If he says he isn’t ready for you to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, ask how long before he thinks he will be (and why he isn’t ready). If he gives a reasonable timeframe, okay. If he stutters and doesn’t know, he’s probably putting you off. If he doesn’t seem to be moving in the general direction of commitment within a few months, realize that he never will.

Keep Dating Other Men

I really urge you to keep your options open while you’re dating this guy. I would hate for you to miss out on an opportunity with another man who is ready and willing to commit to you because you’re wasting time on this one.

While you might assume that men are more likely to date more than one person at a time, the converse is actually true. In Match.com’s Singles in America Study, researchers discovered that 69% of women versus 51% of men had dated multiple people at once. So even if this is something new for you, give it a try. You’ll invest less energy into the man who will never commit to you and open yourself up to other possibilities romantically.

Don’t Try to Make Him into Something He’s Not Ever Going to Be

I know you like this guy. I know you want to see potential in him.

“If I just give it time [more than you should]…”

“If I give him sex more…”

“If I dress sexier…”

“Once he’s finished with [insert project here]..”

You can think of a zillion little excuses as to why he’s not ready to commit right now, but why he will be later. But the cold, hard truth is: if he’s not ready now, he won’t be. At least with you. Sometimes I hear from women who say they dated a commitment-phobic man and once they broke up, he married the very next woman. That does not mean that if you’d stayed with him, you would have married him! It means that he realized before you that the two of you weren’t supposed to be together. At least respect him for not trying to force the relationship when it wasn’t right.

You shouldn’t be offended by the idea that he could commit to someone other than you. There’s at least one reason (probably many more) why you and this guy aren’t destined for one another, but you want it to be right, so you’re trying to force it. Trust me: you will find a man that is 1,000% more right for you…once you let this one go.

Conclusion:

So you’re ready to admit that you’re dating a commitment-phobe and maybe have dated others in the past. And you’re ready to change the script.

First, you have to clearly define what you’re looking for. If you’re ready to dive into a loving relationship that will last the rest of your life, don’t be afraid to declare that (okay, maybe not from a mountaintop or anything. Maybe just write it in your journal.). Stop settling for guys who are ambiguous about what they want and start looking for men who are just as excited to start a life with someone they can fall in love with. They’re out there. Trust me.

Are you now or have you ever dated a guy who was scared of commitment? Share your story in the comments below.

Did you know that you have superpowers in your relationship? Even if he’s wishy-washy about committing right now, you have it within your ability to change his mind. Click here to learn how to make him miss you and commit to ONLY you.

The post How to Handle Commitment-Phobic Men (3 Simple Tips!) appeared first on Sexy Confidence.

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