#for some reason i drew 6 shoes And a background for this one?? even though they're two of my least favourite things to draw??

[marcelineuntitled]

i like this one a lot :)))

[pucksnsticksnhockeyboys]

summertime mindset - pt. 6

stargazing & sexile

masterlist for summertime mindset

Timing is hard to get right and summer doesn’t last forever. You and Tyson learn the hard way.

word count: 1.9k

note from the writer: enjoy darlings this is really soft and lowkey a filler.

SUMMERTIME

You loved your family, you really, truly, did. But you were also twenty and being trapped under the same roof as them when you were used to having the freedom of your dorm and friends’ apartments while at college made everything feel a bit too suffocating.

It was late at night, and you were lamenting this to Tyson while you were curled up in bed and he was at his own house. You were about ready to give up and try to go to sleep, but then Tyson sent you a text and told you to meet him out front.

You tugged on a sweatshirt and exchanged your sleep shorts for leggings, slipping into your shoes before sneaking down and out of the house. Tyson was already waiting for you at the end of the driveway in his car, and he waved you over with his trademark grin.

“Where are we going?” You asked, though not knowing wasn’t stopping you from opening the passenger door and sliding inside. Tyson met you halfway over the center console for a kiss before he let you buckle up and he shifted the car into gear.

“It’s a surprise.” You chuckled at him, shaking your head in mirth. Turning in your seat, you admired how he looked in the low light.

“You expect me to just get in a car with you without knowing where you’re taking me? At eleven at night?” You teased, and it was his turn to shake his head.

“We’re going for a drive, you said you had to get out of the house.” Tyson explained. Your heart soared at the gesture, and if you weren’t constricted by the seat belt and conscious of Tyson’s less than perfect driving skills you would have leaned over and given him a kiss. Instead, you pecked his shoulder before unplugging his phone from the aux and playing your music. It was a rule between the two of you, passenger picks music. Still, he playfully scoffed as he watched you.

“Oh please, you kidnap me, I get to choose the music.” You huffed with a smile. Tyson chuckled, reaching over to thread his fingers with yours and set your conjoined hands on your thigh. You tugged, bringing his hand to your lips so you could kiss the back of his before leaning back into your seat.

This was undoubtedly one of your favorite moments of the summer so far. The windows were cracked and though it was night, the air that was blowing into the car was nice and cooled your skin that had been warmed from being in the sun all day. Your music was quietly playing and perfectly suited for the atmosphere of a late-night drive with Tyson.

He was your favorite part of the whole scenario, no contest. He was singing under his breath as he drove through the streets, occasionally stealing glances at you with a softness in his eyes that had you melting even more so into your seat. You were so distracted by him that you didn’t even realize he had driven to an open field until the car was in park.

When you shot him a confused look, he simply shrugged his shoulders and squeezed your hand before climbing out of the car. You followed his actions, your confusion only growing when he opened the back of the car and pulled out a picnic blanket and what looked suspiciously like the comforter off of his bed. It was only once he laid the picnic blanket down and laid down that you realized that he was taking you stargazing.

As soon as you laid down beside him he started to pull the comforter over both of your legs, only pausing to focus on the sweet kiss you gave him. You both pulled away grinning like fools, and there was a fondness in his eyes that you had never seen before that had you leaning in for another peck.

“Surprise.” He teased, laying back and folding one hand behind his head and the other moving around you to pull you into his side. You chuckled, snuggling into his side as your gaze studied the stars above you.

The view in the sky was beautiful, but the man lying beside you, running his fingers up and down your arm absentmindedly, was stunning.

PRESENT

You should have expected it, really, when your roommate texted you and said not to come back to the apartment for a while since she was having some guy over. The text had come in the middle of you getting dinner with some coworkers, so you were doing the most to stall going back.

Which was how you found yourself sitting in your car in your building’s parking garage, Tyson’s contact pulled up and the number about to be dialed.

You had tried to get a hold of Jon, you had made up since he stormed out of your apartment, but he wasn’t answering, and you really just needed to see if someone was willing to hangout. When you finally dialed Tyson’s number, it didn’t take long for him to pick up.

“Hey, what’s up?” His voice was cheerful, and you could hear people in the background of his line, but they were growing fainter, so you assumed that he was going somewhere quieter.

“Nothing really, I was just calling you to see if you were busy.” From the noises on the other end of the line, you knew he was doing something, but that didn’t stop you from being hopeful. “I’m sexiled from my apartment for the foreseeable future.”

“I mean, I’m just having dinner at Gabe’s and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you came over.” You bit your lip at the offer, but as much as you wanted to take him up on it, it wasn’t his place to invite you over. You had met the captain and his wife a few times, and you really liked them, but you were in no way close enough to just show up at their house and crash a dinner party.

“I don’t want to intrude.” You replied, shaking your head despite the fact that he couldn’t see you. There was some shuffling on his end of the line, and you heard the people talking in the background get louder. Someone, JT, you think, asked who Tyson was on the phone with and he responded with your name.

“Landy come tell her she wouldn’t be intruding if she came over!” He yelled into the line, loud enough to have you pulling your phone from your ear. There was some more shuffling, and it sounded like a wrestling match for Tyson’s phone. Your suspicions were proven correct when the voice that spoke next decidedly did not belong to your brunette friend.

“I promise you’re invited.” Gabe told you, and you could just picture the shit eating grin he was most likely wearing as you heard Tyson complain about wanting his phone back. “You’re more welcome than Josty, if I’m being honest.” You chuckled at this, especially since you could hear Tyson let out an offended ‘Hey!’ from wherever he was on the other end of the line. You let out a defeated sigh, putting your key in the engine and twisting to turn your car on.

“What’s the address?”

Twenty minutes later you found yourself in an expensive neighborhood you would typically have no business being in. You were in awe of the large houses, probably as a result of the one too many HGTV shows you’ve watched. You texted Tyson that you had arrived and by the time you were walking up the driveway the front door opened, and he greeted you with a beaming smile and a wave.

You were swept into his arms the moment you were close enough, the familiar feeling enough to make you forget about your stressful day and how you really needed to look into finding a new apartment. Inside the house, you were met with the usual suspects: EJ, JT, Sam, Nate, Cale, Andre, and Mikko, plus any accompanying significant others. And, of course, the hosts, little baby Linnea catching your eye from the moment you entered the living room where everyone had gathered.

“Why are you dressed so fancy?” Sam teased as soon as you entered the room. You rolled your eyes, making your way to Mel, who was already asking if you wanted to hold her daughter.

“This isn’t fancy, they’re my work clothes.” You reasoned, gesturing towards your simple slacks and blouse. To be fair, it was more dressed up than the jeans and t-shirts he was used to seeing you in. “I had a late meeting, and then I grabbed dinner with some coworkers.”

“Tyson told us you got sexiled.” EJ grinned, and you hushed him, covering Linnea’s ears with your free hand as you kept her curled into you with the other. “What? She won’t remember this!”

“Yeah, but Cale will.” You chirped, sinking into the couch next to Tyson. His arm was resting on the back of the couch behind you but dropped around your shoulders as soon as you settled. The guys all laughed as you teased the rookie for his innocence, and Cale took the chirp in stride.

“I know that’s my baby, but you guys look like the cutest little family. You guys are so good together.” Mel commented and you felt your blood run cold. Part of you hoped she was talking about Andre and Mikko, who were sharing a loveseat on the opposite side of the room, but you knew your luck wasn’t that good.

“I, uh, have a boyfriend, actually. That’s not Tyson.” You coughed out after a moment of silence. Mel started sputtering out apologies, and the boys broke out in loud and obnoxious laughter. Beside you, Tyson chuckled, his heart clearly not in it but you elected to ignore it. That was a bit too much for you to unpack at the moment, especially in a room full of people.

“Gabe didn’t tell me.” Mel swatted her husband’s shoulder as she spoke, who in return raised his hands as proclaiming his innocence. You waved her off as best you could while still bouncing Linnea in your arms, but she shot you one last sorrowful look before thankfully Nate piped up with a story about something embarrassing that happened at practice that drew everyone’s attention off of you.

“Sorry if they made you uncomfortable.” Tyson whispered so only you could hear. You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, spotting an unreadable look on his face. You smiled at him, a little too forced for reasons you couldn’t quite place, before turning back to the blue-eyed baby blinking up at you from your arms.

“Don’t worry about it. We always were told we made a cute couple, even back then.” You told him without really thinking. You tensed after you spoke, you never really talked about your past relationship and you weren’t sure what had coerced you into doing so just then. Tyson didn’t respond at first, and you risked a glance at him to see he was smiling faintly, that still unreadable look in his eyes that you couldn’t place. He leaned back into his seat, arm tightening over your shoulders just a tad bit more.

“Yeah, we got that a lot, didn’t we?”

[surveys4ever]

25.

Section 1 – Who were you?

Think back as far as you can. What is the first memory you have? I think meeting my (now) dad for the first time when he and my mom were dating. I was very upset because he was short and that’s not what dads were supposed to look like in my 3 year old eyes since my bio dad was super tall.

What is something you remember enjoying very much as a small child? Playing Barbies, watching Barney, Happy Meals, being with my grandma.

How old were you, when you made your very first friend? Probably preschool.

Are you still friends with this person today? Facebook friends, yeah. Real friends, no.

Was there a story somebody read or told you that has stuck with you? No one ever read to me after I learned to read for myself so one day I was sick and I came home and curled up with my mom on the couch and asked her to read me a Little Mermaid book I had and she did, even though I had to get up to go shit myself halfway through and it meant a lot to me at the time.

What is something you get an immense feeling of nostalgia from? Hannah Montana for some reason. It was my favorite show and we didn’t get the Disney channel so whenever we went to a hotel, nobody could tell me fuckin NOTHING because we were watching Hannah Montana whether they liked it or not.

As a child, were you a sore loser or a sore winner? I was the only child for 8 years and then the oldest after that so I never lost at anything and now when I do, I feel like I'm the biggest piece of shit loser there’s ever been. So that’s fun.

Did you go through the "naked phase"? I learned that you didn’t have to sleep in pajamas and you could just sleep naked so I did it for a while but then realized that I much preferred pajamas.

Which television shows do you watch the most as a child? I loved TV so basically all of the 90′s/early 2000′s shows there were.

Did you play with siblings, neighbourhood kids or by yourself? Either with neighborhood/school kids or by myself. I didn’t ever really have siblings who weren’t my kids, if that makes sense.

Is there something you really miss from your childhood today? I miss back when everything was simple.

Section 2 – Likes and interests  

Would you ever like to try competitive pinball playing? Ummm, no.

Do you knit, crochet or cross stitch? I’m trying to teach myself to crochet.

Have you ever, or would you like to attend a gaming or comic convention? No thx.

What's your opinion on online multiplayer games? I really liked Among Us for a while there but I don’t really enjoy how rude everyone is on online games.

Do you like to go cycling? If so, where? Uh no.

Have you ever tried woodturning? If not, would you like to? Never tried it, don’t really have any desire to, but it can be relaxing to watch!

Do you enjoy drawing? If so, what do you usually draw? I do! I usually draw graphics for YouTube videos or doodle over Instagram photos, draw things to put on shirts with my Cricut, etc. I use my iPad for so many things.

Have you ever attended a painting class? If so, what did you create? I haven’t but I would like to!

How about a creative writing course? If so, did you get any feedback? I took Creative Writing literally every year it was offered in high school and I always got awards for having the top marks in the class.

What is your favourite form of exercise? No thank you.

Section 3 – People  

Who is the most important person in your life (besides yourself)? My husband.

Do people generally approach you easily? I think so!

Do you get along with people well? If not, what's the problem? Yeah! I’m pretty friendly and easy going.

Do you enjoy being in crowds or do you prefer your own company? I would much prefer my own company than crowds.

Which one of your friends have you known the longest? I still talk to the girl I was best friends with in the 6th grade on occasion so like 17-18 years?

Do you find it easy to make friends now? If not, what makes it difficult? As an adult who works from home, making friends is hard as fuck. 

What is something about people that annoys you? Something I've noticed in recent years is just how entitled and greedy everyone is. Everybody wants something from you or for your skills to benefit them without them putting in any work or paying you for your time. It’s just gross.

What is something about people that you really like? We have really, really harsh winters and if you ever find yourself in the ditch for whatever reason, there will be a lineup of cars stopped behind you to help you push it out or let you chill in their car while you wait for a tow truck. On the really bad blizzard days, there are groups of men in big trucks that literally L I V E to go around and help pull people’s cars out of the ditch. It’s the only time I feel like there’s actually a sense of community around here.

If you live alone, what would be your criteria for a roommate? I honestly would never have a roommate because they could either be your friend or a stranger and living with friends is a good way to ruin a friendship if your living styles aren’t similar and living with a stranger just sounds like a nightmare.

How about criteria for a spouse, if you're single? I am married but my criteria was honestly that I just wanted him to be kind and funny and I got that tenfold with my husband.

In general, what's your attitude towards people? I can’t stand to be around grumpy people. If all you do is gripe and complain about literally everything, I’m out. No thank you. Why is your hobby being angry? Take up knitting or something for christ’s sake.

Section 4 – Habits

What is something you do every day without fail? Baby talk the dog and snuggle with Beebs.

What is your typical breakfast? I’m a leftovers for breakfast kinda gal but lately I’ve been having a bagel and watermelon.

Which article of clothing do you like to wear the most? I loooove me a good baggy T-shirt and booty shorts.

Is there a TV show you watch habitually? We’re currently watching Unhhhh while we eat dinner every night, haha!

Where do you usually spend most of your day? I really only sit in 4 places--bed, the couch, my makeup/work desk, or my sewing desk. Depends on the day which one I’m at.

Is there a product that you do not want to run out of? Moisturizer. I’m a dry son of a bitch.

What is your preferred mode of transport? Car!

Do you usually have something playing in the background when you're home? Nah. I’m in silence a lot of the time.

Where do you usually get your groceries? Walmart for the bulk of it, a local grocery store for the specialty items, and Target if we ever run out of something midweek because I cannot handle Walmart more than once a week.

How often do you go to your local park? Like once or twice a month in the summer!

Which of your hobbies do you indulge in most often? Sewing and Sims currently!

Section 5 – Favourites and dislikes

What is your favourite fruit? Watermelon!

How about your favourite berry? Strawberries are the only berry I like.

Which food do you highly dislike? Fish. It’s all disgusting.

What is your favourite song, and why? I hate this question. Who can pick one definitive favorite song out of the bajillions of songs that have been written??

What is a movie you cannot stand? Anything with Seth Rogen in it, any movie that's got a 3+ after it (looking @ you, Fast & Furious), and all the fuckin’ superhero movies that have the same ‘ah yes, this undefeatable bad guy that we have absolutely no chance against and will undoubtedly kill us all--but we’re going to pull through at the last second with the power of friendship!’ plot line.

Which trait in a person do you find most appealing? I don’t know how to describe it--certain people just have that spark and you can always tell right away if they’ve got it or not and those are my favorite kind of people.

Which trait puts you instantly off? If they’re religious it’s an instant no from me, dog.

Who is an actor/actress who you dislike so much you can't watch them? I really, really dislike Tom Holland. I honestly think he’s a terrible actor.

What colour are your favourite shoes? White!

What is a smell that disgusts you to no end? B.O., on me or others. I just can’t deal with it.

Which door handle/door knob do you like the most in your home? They’re all the same.

Section 6 – Culture

What is something very typical to the culture of your home country? Apple pie and baseball are the only things coming to mind atm.

Do you enjoy art? If so, which form of art is the most enjoyable? I do! But I prefer art that you can look at and know the artist is incredibly gifted and/or has put in a ton of time and effort to master their skills. None of that million dollar paint smear on a canvas shit.

What is something about another country's culture you don't understand? I feel like other cultures take their family and their family’s approval way too seriously. That might be rich coming from someone who doesn’t have a very good relationship with their family but I just don’t understand what the point of making yourself miserable to make your family happy is.

Do you ever attend the theater? If so, which play did you see last? Last thing I saw in a theater was Shangela perform a drag show, haha!

How about the opera or the ballet? Nope.

Which dance troupe do you enjoy, if any? ...they still do that?

Do you attend concerts or gigs? If so, which band did you see last? Not as much as I’d like to as no one good really comes here very often. Last band we saw was X Ambassadors and Paramore!

Are you interested in foreign food? I’m not uninterested but I’m not super interested either.

If so, which country's cuisine do you enjoy the most? Chinese...albiet probably a very Americanized version of Chinese.

Do you enjoy stand-up comedy? If so, who is your favourite comic? I doooo! Bo Burnham and Drew Lynch are my favorites.

Do you contribute to culture in some way? If so, how? I try to? I’m an influencer so I definitely have a platform of a couple hundred thousand people. Not sure what exactly I contribute tho.

Section 7 – Charity

Do you volunteer your time to anything charitable? If so, what? Newp.

Do you donate money to any charities? If so, which ones? No. I don’t trust a lot of charities, to be quite honest. A lot of them are very shady and I’d rather donate money directly to someone who needed it rather than it getting tied up in a charity where it might never actually see the people they claim to be helping.

If you have pets, are any of them rescues from shelters? We adopted our dog from one of my husband’s coworkers but she probably would have gone to the shelter if we didn’t take her.

Do you donate your old clothes, linen etc. to charitable organizations? Yes! We almost always have a bag of donations in our trunk that we always forget to take to the thrift store when we go.

If someone you know is in need, is it in your nature to offer help? If I can, yes!

Have you ever donated Christmas presents to children of poor families? We used to do that when I was a kid.

Have you ever had to rely on other people's charity? One Christmas when I was really young I remember my parents signed up for a sponsorship through the Salvation Army where a family adopted us and bought us Christmas presents and Christmas dinner or whatever.

How do you feel about donating to charities endorsed by celebrities? I would never donate to a charity simply because it was sponsored by a celebrity but I guess its the easiest way for a charity to get the word out that they need donations.

Is there a charity you absolutely never ever will not trust? PETA, Salvation Army, Goodwill, and that breast cancer one with the horrible CEO.

Have you ever donated to a cause that had a person going door to door? No. I extra wouldn’t if someone came knocking on my door asking for money.

In general, what is your opinion on charity? I already did my rant about them, haha.

Section 8 – Entertainment

Which was the very first video game you remember playing? Ocarina of Time I believe!

Which was the very first film you remember watching? That I don’t remember. Maybe that Barney movie with the magic egg?

What is your go-to form of entertainment? TikTok usually.

Do you have a large collection of DVDs/Blu-Rays? Nah. We have a drawer but we usually stream everything.

How about music albums? Beebs collects vinyls!

Do you prefer to have your music on vinyls, tapes, CDs or digital? I prefer digital and Beebs likes vinyl.

When and where do you like to entertain yourself usually? Either the bed or the couch.

Do you ever binge watch shows? If so, what are you binging now? Usually! I’m sadly in between shows rn.

What kinds of books do you like to read, if any? I honestly don’t read anymore.

Is there a book series you're currently collecting? ..

Is entertainment something you prefer to enjoy alone or with someone else? I have my shows and then we have shows we watch together. So there’s a time and place for both!

Section 9 – Internet 

Do you always have access to the Internet, wherever you go? If not, why? Yup!

Which website do you frequent the most? Website website? Google. App website? Instagram or TikTok.

Which search engine do you prefer and trust the most? Googs.

What do you use the Internet the most for? Social media or entertainment.

Do you judge people who have their phones out all the time? If so, why? Random people? None of my business. But if we’re spending time together and I’m trying to have a conversation with you and you're not paying attention to me because your nose is glued to your phone, I’m gonna be pissed.

If your connection goes down, what do you do? Go do something that’s not on the internet?

Is there something you wish you could do online that isn't possible yet? I still wish you could smell things through the internet.

Do you remember the first time you used the Internet? When was it? Yes! I believe the 2nd/3rd grade?

What was a website you used to frequent that doesn't exist anymore? I loved the Disney website with all the games.

Do/Did you ever have your own website? That was the thiiiing back in the day.

Isn't it great how much knowledge and info we have at our fingertips? It’s great but also overwhelming.

Section 10 – And finally...

What is something you consider to be highly controversial? Politics, apparently.

What kinds of jokes do you like the best? I love a good pun.

Is there a person who makes you laugh effortlessly? Oh definitely.

Which part of your body do you like the least? My eyes.

What's something random, out of context you remember from your past? I don’t do well with really vague questions.

Do you wear shoes indoors? No, I’m not a heathen.

What's the silliest thing you've worn on your body in public? I don’t think I usually wear silly things.

What's the most important thing in your life right now? Just spending time with my fam. Trying to get over this anxiety.

What is the most distant point on the planet that you've been from home? Florida.

Do you enjoy trivia games? If so, which one's your favourite? We love some Trivial Pursuit in this house!

Are you more logical or emotional? My emotions take over and then my logic brings it back in. Equal parts, baby.

[roses-ruby]

Cherry Muffins and Lavender Tea

Namjoon x Female Reader

Genre: College AU, Sugary Fluff, Humor if you squint, Smut but it’s ugly, and the teeny tiniest angst

Warnings: curse words, sex, orgasms, oral (female receiving), choking kink, daddy kink, hot biker Namjoon, sex with clothes on, might make you hungry (i’m not sure about everything that’s considered a warning sorry! If there’s something you want me to add, tell me)

Word Count: 8,196

Summary: You’ve got feelings for my man Namjoon, the scary looking dork that drops by where you work. But how will you relay them?

A/N: My first story! Omfgsfkhbifb I’m nervous so please leave a kind word, I’ll love you forever. Might have mistakes cause i’m an idiot. None of this would have been possible without the great @countrysundae she’s my darling and inspiration and I love her sooooo much and you should too!!! Please appreciate her Pisces ass, and send her some love! Oof anyway, please enjoy

10:30

Originally set for 8, 10 fucking 30 is when the bells of your alarm informed you to awake for maybe the 99th time that morning. Groaning in displeasure you move your stiffened muscles to shut the damn thing off. This is a process that’s become a routine; waking up way later than originally planned, no matter how many timers set, or reminders kept. Even though you admit you are sleep deprived constantly, it doesn’t make you a heavy sleeper habitually! You wake up to the tiniest noises at night, from your roommate trying to sneak back into the shared room in ungodly hours of the night to the leaking tap in the bathtub. And yet your phone’s alarm is your placebo-it does absolutely nothing for you.

Though you do try. You keep about 5 alarms on at once, to your roommate’s expense who somehow is both a night owl and early bird all at once. Speaking of which-

“So, the witch finally sees daylight,” snickers Sana

“what the fuc--how long were you there?!” You rasped, grabbing at your erratic heart

“Just got in 5 minutes ago, that was my first alarm and trust me when I say I would’ve strangled you if I heard another.”

It’s true, she’s done it before. Your poor roommate was an occasional victim of your ruthless sleeping habits. You’d sometimes slip into conscious from slumber to hear her whine about your blaring alarms in her own sleeping state. Other times you’d wake up from a pillow landing on your face from a girl who’s had Enough.™ But you didn’t feel too bad for her, since you’ve given her the option of waking you up herself and she’s proven frivolous far too many times for such a simple task. Lowkey? She deserves it.

“Ooh another fun night, huh?” You grin in your sleepy state

Sana giggles “Mhmm, think Mark’s in love with me the poor chap,” she mocks his English accent making you both laugh at yet another fuckboi who’s become a victim to Sana’s lethal looks. Giving her a glance over, from her messy hair and smeared lipstick you conclude she indeed had a very fun night.

Sana came from a well-off background and had it all. Good-looks, smarts, the money, and a very good heart. She didn’t have to go to university, but her mom was not having it. The whole ‘be grateful for the opportunity people suffer to receive’ speech led her here. A parent’s guilt tripping wasn’t something you were unfamiliar with. You considered yourself an average person. Kinda cute, smart, headstrong and half of a pretty good character…Your parents on the other hand, were really wimpy.

“We always thought you’d go to the neighborhood community college”, your dad remarked in horror holding the prestige upper state university’s acceptance letter that arrived recently.

Your dad, who thinks jaded denim vests are cool.

“You’re too young to be living on your own, you’re still a bird who can’t use her wings correctly, not ready to leave the nest!” Said your distressed mom, who’s solution to all bad food was to put more cheese on it.

Don’t like your chicken curry? Pass on the parmesan sprinkler!

You hear the bang of hands on the table and a chair screeches, “let her go, she’ll come back with her tail between her legs”, your little brother who plays fortnite all day and is going through his ‘I hate feelings but secretly cry every night’ faze shouts before storming off towards his room.

All you do is sigh and roll your eyes, picking at your over-parmesaned chicken curry with your naan as your parents continue to nag, cause after this whole fiasco your mind was certainly convinced.

You’re going to the university.

_

Now that you are here, nothing was easy even for someone as headstrong as you. You were smart enough for a scholarship, but living expenses were something else entirely. Which led you to seek employment at a small café, a few miles from your university. It wasn’t the most bustling of places as it drew in a handful of consumers a day, even your fellow students chose the McDonalds right across the street. Everyone enjoyed the quick coffee and frozen fries, rather than your place’s slightly pricier fresh brews and handmade savory biscuits. Alas, you considerably appreciated the quiet composure your café provided. From the dim soft white lighting, to the 60’s slow jazz-which you routinely exchanged with a Studio Ghibli playlist from YouTube discreetly, blended well together. Gave you time to catchup on your schoolwork. Your boss was a chill 42-year-old who won the lottery a few years back, and let you clock in any time before 12, even if your morning shift began from 9. Maybe it had something to do with how the last waitress quit to work at McDonalds.

And he was always there.

Kim Namjoon. The quiet stud that had captivated your heart without even trying. Also, the fucking reason you wanted to get up earlier in the mornings damn it!

Namjoon was a psychology major who was always reading a new book. Mostly from his favorite author Haruki Murakami. And he always stopped by at the place you worked to indulged them. Parking his Harley-Davidson Softail outside and softly walking in with his old school leather jacket and gloves, ripped jeans, a book in his hand, his huge hard…helmet forgotten on the bike’s handle. He’d gently relay his familiar order of cherry muffins and lavender tea, raking his hair back with those beautiful black gloves, and striding to his usual seat in the back of the café.

He’d grace your presence 3 times a week, usually at 9:30 before his 10 am classes; another early bitch bird. All you wanted to do since then was to be able to take his order.

You had met Namjoon at the beginning of your first semester last year. But he hadn’t harbored much of your attention until that fateful day. Chilly winds and frequent rain were what you were adjusting to, as fall was in its peak with every other color on the leaves a vibrant orange, grabbing at your focus. Having arrived on time for once, you were engaged in your workspace. The co-owner and your co-worker of the small café, the boss’s niece, had taken a day’s leave, and you knew she’d beat your ass if you were late. Tray in hand, you served a bacon quiche and caffé americano to the table refuging a girl in an infinity scarf and glasses who didn’t bother to look up from her phone, when the door chimed open

It’s him again, you thought at the tall stranger you’ve seen around your campus in all black stepping towards the counter. He had small droplets of water on his leather jacket and hair from the rain. You didn’t realize you were staring until he awkwardly looked directly at you, standing with an empty round tray at the side of the table of the occupied girl, who you know is also taking a secret glance at him, and shyly smiles.

Cute.

You walk yourself behind the counter and smile, “hey there”

“Hi, um two cherr-“

“-y muffins and lavender tea, right?”

He nods

“Why don’t you just say the usual?” You laugh, wringing up his order in your old school register

“I didn’t think you’d remember me out of all the customers,” he states bashfully, dimples on display

“‘all the customers?’’ you laugh louder, “we get like 15 a day, I’m sure I’ll remember you”

“Oh, I thought I just came too early”

“You definitely do! I don’t have the energy to get up and comb my hair at 9 in the morning, much less bike to a café for cherry muffins”

“You like it?” he grins “it’s a Harley-Davidson, my dad owned one”

“It’s as pretty as you sweetie,” you don’t know where that confidence was coming from, because you’ve definitely haven’t talked to a boy like this before. Blame it on the chilly weather.

“oh, thank you,” he rakes his leather gloved hands through his hair, looking down at his shoes

Stepping towards your tea station, you grab open the bag of loose organic dried lavender buds, on the shelf above. Picking up a measuring spoon, you scoop and slide in some buds in the French press. You grab the boiling water on the electric stove, next to your station and slowly pour it onto the herbs. You close down the French Press and set a timer for 6 minutes.

Taking a breath, you look around the café. Namjoon stands there as towering as a tree, looking at his book, ‘Women who Run with the Wolves.’ Most people would go sit down if it wasn’t pickup, but he always stood right at the registrar. Strange. Unsurprisingly, you remember being intimidated as hell in the beginning. Usually people that come to the café are chill in the ‘harmless millennial hippie’ type of way, dressing themselves in mutable colors. But he looked like he would yell if you even slightly messed up his order or gave a ‘wrong look’ to his bike. You loosened up when his order was always so easy, and his book choices always so cute. You almost bust out laughing when he came in with ‘A fault in our stars;’ especially when he sat at his table with glossy eyes, trying to finish the last pages. His smile also melted all worries away.

Infinity scarf girl gets up to leave (but not before giving Namjoon a longing look), leaving you both alone in the balance of your heartbeats. There was slow piano from Kiki’s delivery service filling up your café’s background. The weather still faintly drizzling, the soft gray clouds seeping through the broad windows, making the café’s wooden brown hues a tad bit dimmer, yet the fairy lights radiant. Pedestrians with transparent umbrellas in beige coats and red hats pass by every so often, not a care in the world. Smells of fresh scones and cinnamon filled your nostrils, making you remember holiday nights at home. Though your thoughts often redirected themselves towards the handsome stranger and the harmony of the quiet fall day.

The timer dings and you get back on track, using the handle to press the floating buds down to the bottom of your French press. You head toward the counter’s display case. Below is a steel countertop with coffee/tea cups, silverware, small plates, trays and a set of tongs. You grab a cup and plate, fixing them properly you pour the tea. The steam drifts towards your face, an amazing aroma that complimented the purple complexion of your brew. Grabbing a set of tongs, you take out two large cherry muffins, placing them on a tray, along with the tea. You decide to grab a chocolate chip cookie as well from one of the clear cookie jars set on the wooden crown of the display case.

“Here ya go,” you place the tray in front of him. He places his book and gloves onto the tray and gets out his wallet from his beautifulbooty back pocket. After paying he picks up the tray and halts

“Cookie?” He holds up the chocolate chip cookie in his hand, a bit confused

“It’s on the house, they’re the best thing in the café, but I end up eating most of them, so might as well give ‘em out”

He smiles, “thank you, it looks delicious”

“No problem, anything for our loyal customers,” you both laugh, “it’s beautiful out today”

“Hm, not as much as you,” he states, walking away from you towards his usual seat. Now, he turned around very quickly after he said that, so you didn’t really get to see his face after such cheesy words, but the tips of his ears were red. Oh.

He’s cute cute.

Stunned, you stand there for a moment or two, just wide-eyed; staring at nothing, until you spin on your spot and head back into the tea vicinity of the café. You feel your heartrate rise and alarms go off in your head. But not the loud intrusive kind. The kind where a baker knows his three-layered chocolate fudge cake is ready. The ones where a mom takes freshly baked cinnamon rolls out in the morning. The ones when the apple pie is prepared to be sliced. Those kinds. Covering your extremely warm face with your hands, you muffle a squeal.

Since then, you’ve started paying close attention to Kim Namjoon.

You didn’t know what it was, his tall broad frame and long thick legs, which you wanted to be choked with. His large hands in those chunky leather gloves or when he took them off, to handle the pages of his book delicately; his long skinny fingers would graze over the soft wood, both things you wanted to be choked with. Or his keen eyes that would get larger or darker depending on what part of the book he was reading, and you imagined in which manner they would present themselves with while he’s choking y-Ok. Ok. Ok. You had a kink. Endeared was how you felt at his intimidating appearance.

You also adored how far away from intimidating he actually was. You were smitten with his gentle demeanor in dealing with people. His pacifist nature, and how much he loved tiny crabs, how he was so respectful towards everyone, younger or older, never judging anyone’s appearance or his love for characters that’re as large, and clumsy as him, like Ryan from that Kakaotalk app. And his laughed that carried large amounts of joy over cheesy, silly things ultimately making you laugh as well.

You were sure you loved Kim Namjoon, yet you barely spoke to him-

I mean who’s gonna disturb a huge scary-looking dork when he’s trying to read? Certainly not you. What you desired is a way to get close to him somehow, and for that you needed to know more about him. It wasn’t hard to pick up gossip though, when you were friends with the loudest chatter mouth on the planet.

You told Sana once about your silly crush and she shrieked so hard it sounded like a howl. The next day she had all the deets on who she referred to as ‘Hunkjoon.’ He had an IQ of 148, he hates seafood, he’s so clumsy that his friends refer to him as ‘the god of destruction,’ favorite color is black (no duh), he’s well-known, terribly smart, and to your dismay, associated with the exceedingly popular frat boys Jung Hoseok and Kim Seokjin.

Ugh

Jung Hoseok and Kim Seokjin, or who you so kindly referred to as the Seokbitches, were the schools James Dean. ‘Icon of teenage disillusionment.’ Hehe, perfect definition by google. They were notorious, for playing ghosts in their classes, throwing a party every.single.damn.day., never keeping their dick™ in their pants, and having the most obnoxious laughs on the earth…

Ok, so maybe only you knew them for that. To others they were the teenage love and rebellion dream, James Dean. They never attended classes, because they were fuckthesystem peeps, threw a party everyday so the poor souls stuck in an endless cycle of capitalist warfare aka their fellow students could enjoy the more fun things life has to offer, indulged in every part of youth-including the 24/7 horny part, and had the most beautiful laughs in the damn planet.

How were they Namjoon’s closest friends…How? Anyone with a functioning brain can tell the vast difference between the trinity. Namjoon attended all his classes (yet fate didn’t give you a class with him, the bitch), he actually read books, and he wasn’t hooking up with 2-3 girls every night, unlike certain people.

You heard from a classmate a while back that ‘bout two years ago Namjoon had a serious girlfriend. Since their breakup, he hasn’t been with anyone else. It’s good that he’s single but you’ve still only talked to him here and there. A few shy glances, a few awkward touches. Nothing more, but lord do you want more, alot more. What if a girl more daring gets him first?  Do you really need angst in your life? NO! but you are still at a loss of what to do. You had one boyfriend so far, and it was one of your worst experiences.

The guy was a total creep. And the worst part? You asked him out. All your friends had relationships and he was someone who rode the bus with you, making you laugh here and there. So, being the usual teenager, you thought it’d be a good idea to date him, like a fool. Who knew he wasn’t just being charming, and making fun of people (trying to be edgy as you now know) was a hobby for him? You did. Right after you overheard him announce the fact that you look like a winged bat when you suck dick just to make his jerk-ass friends laugh. It was so humiliating, as you never did something of the sorts with him, yet his friends would stick out their teeth in a ‘vampire like manner’ whenever they passed you in the hallway, as well as your first heartbreak. You got him back by filling his locker with Limburger cheese, from your mom’s collection of cheeses. His gym clothes smelled for a month, and people called him cheeseboi for the rest of the year.

You shed your blind innocence that day and knew that men are trash. Namjoon isn’t like that though, and you’re surer of that than anything. He’s special for you and you want to be the special one for him. Sadly, you just didn’t know how to start a conversation with Namjoon, without looking like you jumped in boiling water. I mean you had hook-ups in college. Who doesn’t play around here and there? But fuck-this is definitely the first time you actually like someone. Like really like them, so you just clam up and don’t know what to do. That’s where you are today.

You bounce from your bed, heading towards the bathroom. “I’m late again,” you mumble.

Sana hears that (at this point she could have better hearing than dogs)

“Hunkjoon, huh?”

“That’s not his name Sasha”

“Listen, why do you even spend your time trying to get with him in that boring café?” Sana shouts, hopping off her bed she makes her way to the bathroom and throws her hands around you who’s brushing her teeth. “You should ask him out, maybe to a club. A little booty popping, ear sucking, mouth licking, and he’s yours”

“Please don’t ever use any of those words in that way ever again.”

“I’m serious!” Exasperated she throws her hands in the air before resting them on each of your shoulders together and squeezes you. “You just need a change of scenery, that place is no hook-up central for us modern kids. Just one party, and he’ll be all over you.” You tug her off your back and narrow your eyes-looking at her through the mirror; you continue to brush your teeth. She knows you want something far from a hookup with Namjoon, yet she-

“And then,” she smirks, “maybe your mouth would be full of his cum-not toothpaste”

You choke.

“Sana what the fuck,” you rage running after the laughing vixen with your toothbrush as a makeshift knife

“Don’t act like it’s not what you want!” She cackles as you tackle her onto the bed ready to stab her eyes out when your phone rings. Oh shit. You know exactly who that is. Picking it up, you run to the bathroom, spitting out your toothpaste

“H-h-hello?”

“Where. in. Jesus’s. name. are. you?!”

“O-oh, coming Linda, I’m in traffic” Sana proceeds to imitate a car beep sound at that-“and I’ll be there in 5 minutes!”

“If you aren’t, I’ll personally serve your head as our main dish this afternoon!” She screeches before hanging up

“Shit,” you catch your breath, “I gotta go,” scrambling around, you find something appropriate to wear in late April weather. You brush your hair in a hurry and throw on a high ponytail. Sana just watches you the whole time, staring at you up on her elbows from her bed looking deep in thought. Grabbing one of Sana’s car keys and your purse, you rush out the door with a quick bye to Sana. She doesn’t reply back but after you are out the door she flings back onto her bed, arms expanded.

“I’ll ask Hobi,” she says to herself

_

Parking in the small lot behind the café, you run inside the back door. You gather yourself, fixing your hair and your fast heartbeat, you wrap on an apron and head to the front.

Linda spots you right away.

“You’re late,” she grits

“Yeah, traffic sucks,” you grin awkwardly, praying she’ll believe you.

“Just get to work, the pound cakes are almost ready to take out,” she points toward the oven. You nod, heading into the vicinity of the oven in the back next to the stove.

“Hey Linda,” someone shouts making you turn, “the person at table 3 wants some sourdough starter”

Linda acknowledges, moving into the back storage where the starters where kept.

You spot a girl. A new girl. A very very pretty girl, with long light brown hair up to her waist, and a delicate body. She meets your eyes and smiles and you return the gesture before looking away like you didn’t momentarily become gay looking at her soft features.

It’s good to have her around, you conclude. Usually you worked the morning shift with Linda 3 times a week, taking afternoon classes during those days. (coincidently when Namjoon comes by) You know there’s a girl who works the afternoon shift, but you never really ran into her. And since you do come late 1 out of 3 times, Linda ends up doing most of the work herself, including making all the café’s delicacies. You’re so very thankful to Linda and her uncle for not firing you, and very glad that Linda has some actual help now.

You’re pulled from your thoughts when the oven timer dings and the door chimes open.

The new girl greets the customer cheerily while you concentrate on taking an enticing whiff of the vanilla pound cakes, about to pull open the oven’s door when you stop dead in your tracks. You’d recognize that deep voice anywhere.

Turning your head so fast, you feel your neck burn from whiplash you spot your Namjoon finishing his order to your co-worker. He meets your eyes for a moment, and god you’re sure you look like a fish.

“Would you like anything else? We have really good chocolate chip cookies,” pipes the newcomer

“I know, they’re delicious,” he catches your eyes again, “but no thank you, not this time”

“Aww, well I love them a bit too much. Even though I’m new I’ve had quite a few,” she starts ringing up his order

“I thought I haven’t seen you around here”

“Moved in recently and kinda have trouble unpacking…I need a stronger body ya’know”

“Is that so,” Namjoon quirks a brow and you feel like you’ll throw up. Why is Namjoon late? Catch 22 didn’t seem like his style of book? Why the fuck is she giggling so much? Who let her steal all your cookies? And why is his hair so much messier than usual? He looks so cute omg?... What’s that burning smell?

…Shit

You gawk at the oven in horror as Linda shouts your name from a mile away.

_

Sana’s scrolling through her phone on her tummy when you bonk her head with your purse

“Ow, what the fuck-”

“When’s the next frat fiasco? I need to relive some stress”

She smiles, “I knew you’d come around, and that’s why I went ahead and asked Hobi to bring Hunkjoon tonight.”

You beam at the mention, “Sana you angel!” Then immediately scowl, “Wait at a seokbitch party? Just fucking great”

“Don’t be so sour,” Sana sighs, sitting up, “Namjoon doesn’t go to many parties anyway so his best friend was the only solid way to bring him.”

Giving it a thought, you beam again, jumping on Sana

“Sana you angel!”

“Whatever’s up with your hair by the way, looks like you’ve been pulling on it.”

“Don’t ask…long day.”

_

Arriving at the party, you grimace at the smoke of marijuana blanketing you as soon as you enter.

“Alright, Hobi should be around here somewhere,” Sana looks around,” standing on the tippy toes of her heels, trying to look past the frisky bodies, but it’s of no use with the amount of people in the room.

The room was packed with tipsy children. There was barely any elbow space even though the frat house was huge as you and Sana squeezed through hot, sweaty dancing bodies. Some unbalanced drunkards clumsily pushing into you every now and then and you wondered how anyone came to these things. It’s hot, and everyone smelled of axe and sweat. Parties would be much better with just a modest group of people you know, or maybe that’s the small-town girl in you speaking.

No! You cringed internally. You must forget about your outdated methods and passive behavior. Tonight, you will become someone completely new. Someone who takes action.

“Oh there!” Sana shouts over the music, waving furiously to someone by the stairs

Soon after you hear the jubilant voice of Jung Hoseok as he comes into view to greet Sana with a hug, and after being temporarily blinded by his smile you give him a once over or call that twice, because fuck He looked good in a simple white tee, tight blue jeans, dark brown Timberlands and his hair pushed up with what seemed like some gel and messy fingers (think back to Gayo Daejejeon 2018 mic drop)

“This is the girl I was telling you about,” Sana points at you

Hoseok joins in on your shameless gawking and grins

Embodying you was a baby pink thin strapped mini dress, and when you say mini, you mean your black Chantelle Présage lace thong is showing mini, but you’re a woman on a mission, and you didn’t care if you were naked at this point. Your hair was thoroughly straightened, and you went for a glossy cherry makeup look, courtesy of Sana. You weren’t trying to look like a cherry muffin, buuuut you didn’t mind if that’s what people thought, specifically one person.

“It’s nice to meet you,” he extends his hand, eyes duskier than a moment ago

You should wear shades in front of him or you’re sure you’ll go blind.

You shake his hand and give him one of your most forced friendly smiles, trying not to make much conversation as you just wanted one thing. Though that shiver upon your spine at his grip tells you otherwise.

Hoseok motions for you both to follow him and you pick his trail

Sana elbows you

“We talked about this! You’re supposed to be acting like a lamb, ready to be jumped on at any time, not a fox,” she whispers at your obvious display of wanting nothing to do with the Hyena

“I’m being nice! I am! This is how I’m nice!”

Sana rolls her eyes, and you sulk. It’s not your fault she is a master seductress, and you just don’t know how to be kind to the guy who’s trying to undress you with his eyes when he knows you’re here for his friend. She told you two things about seducing men, act completely incompetent and laugh at all their lame jokes. The more you feed a guy’s concocted ego, the more you feed his desire for you. And well, a way to the man’s heart is through feeding him…or something right?

But all your thoughts disappear into nothing once you lay eyes upon the man you’ve been wanting for almost a year.

Kim Namjoon, holy fuck.

Never has a loose black tee and oversized maroon velvet bomber’s jacket looked that good on anyone before. He commands your undivided attention with that low-neck line and gelled up hair. Healthy, glowing skin spread out like a canvas. His jeans ripped in all the beautiful places around the man’s thick, strong thighs, and black derby’s? Classic, yet defiant as always. He was fucking beautiful and you were awestruck. Hoseok says something to the group of 3 guys standing by the back sofa, including Namjoon, most likely about you, but you don’t hear anything once Namjoon locks eyes with you. There’s evident surprise in his eyes, which dims into concentration at the dress you’re wearing.

“So Namjoon,” Hoseok interrupts your thoughts, “I heard you both’ve met before?”

Namjoon doesn’t break away from you for a moment, smiling slightly “we’ve met, it’s nice to see you here”

He was being strangely vague. “You too,” you mutter

You could physically feel Sana scoff at the virginity act.

“Alright, I can use a drink-Ali, Jason, Sana let’s go get them”, Hoseok works fast to evade the intrusive attention on the both of you

“Why do you need 3 people to help you with drinks”, says a confused Jason

Flustered at the man’s impaired ability to read between the lines Hoseok scrambles for another excuse, “um…uh, I don’t know what you want? And uh there’s a lot of people, so uh”

Jason stubborn as ever quirks, “well I can just tell you what I wan-”

“JASON! ALI!” Sana shouts and everyone, aside from Namjoon, who won’t turn away from you, glances at her, “be a darling and pour my drink for me,” she uses her sultry voice, throws a sly smile, and they all get led away by her, even Hoseok, looking hypnotized

Watching them walk away you let out a sigh. This is it. This is your moment. You really should’ve had a shot before this. Drunk you wouldn’t clam up and clench her buttocks that sober you is doing for some reason. Clearing your throat, you start blurting out the first forms of conversation that settles in your mind.

“Nice to see you here, finally away from the café-not that I don’t like seeing you there…I mean I do, but this is nice too hehe”

You mentally slap yourself for the worst beginning. When have you ever been this quiet? Sana couldn’t get you or your alarm to shut up most of the time and this is the moment you choose to get awkward? Maybe this is it. He’ll just walk away now and you can wallow in self-pity.

“It’s great to see you too, out of that café…not that I don’t like it as well” he smiles

Your whole form relaxes, and you feel the knot of pressure in your back coming undone. You know you’re overthinking, know that your mind is self-sabotaging you, so it can get out of this hellhole back into its safe space between your bedsheets. So, you take a breath and focus on his eyes, trying to bring back the confidence of an 80’s café waitress. “You got yelled at pretty hard this morning, were you ok?” He asks

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I kinda deserved it and Linda’s the biggest sweetheart, she would never actually hurt me.” Minus where she almost tore your hair out in the backroom

“…speaking of which, why were you late this morning?” You slapped yourself again

He gave you a look. Shit. “You track me?” he grins

“No-no, nonono…n-yes. I track all my customers”, you smile awkwardly, “they keep me on my toes ya’ know the little bastards” If only you could forever tape your mouth

It was a bad joke but he lets out a chuckle where his eyes turn into little crescents and his dimples poke through his skin

“Well, I missed my alarm this morning, so I was too late to arrive on time…but I still wanted to come…”

“…Why?”

“I just,” he stares at you, “did”

“I see. It’s our tea isn’t it.”

Both of you share a laugh

“You look beautiful by the way”

“This little thing?” you twirl your hips, “just found this in the back of my closet”

The brag was true because you never fucking dressed up for anything, yet always shop like you do.

When you look at him again, you see his eyes dark at the move you just did, which you’re sure exposed your ass

Gathering courage, you start walking toward and up the stairs not giving Namjoon another glance. You could feel his bewilderment through your exposed back, as he follows you like a lost puppy. You hide a smile. Heading into an open room, you find its balcony. Outside, the spring wind picks up your hair and you take in a deep breath, letting go of all your nerves that tense up once you feel the balcony door open and close and the presence of another person in the little island.

“Are you alright?” You feel his breath on you, and you barricade a shudder

“I’m fine…I just couldn’t breathe in there with all the weed,” you turn and smile at him.

“I hate it too,” He smiles back

There’s a moment before you both break eye contact and he’s stepping up beside you

Looking out from the balcony, you pander in the serenity of the dark night and silent winds. The music is still mutely conscious in both your eardrums, as well as the laughter of kids who came here to forget tomorrow. There’s always a calmness you feel with him, no matter the weather or locality. The tips of your arms are touching and the barring heat your entire left side simmers in provides you with the translation of your need to be closer with him.

“I’m sorry I’m not good at small talk”

You turn your face to him as he takes a breath before speaking again

“I’m very awkward, sorry about that”

“You aren’t the one who’s awkward, you raise a brow, I’ve been making bad jokes all night. And well, who’s good at things like small talk?”

He smiles at you, “Your jokes aren’t bad,” he says bringing his face closer to yours, “and I love hearing you talk”

“Thank you” There’s another silence before you ask, “started a new book recently?’

“I did!” He quirks, “‘Yellow Wallpaper’ by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, it’s disturbing yet addictive. Like an Edgar Allen type you know. The increasing dread creates a form of suspense, which feels like a drug. Even though you can tell the ending won’t be good, you carry on led by a strange empathy as if you’ve become the character and it-“

Namjoon stops suddenly and stares at you smiling. “Um…sorry I got carried away, I’m probably boring you”

“Nuh-uh” you stop him immediately, “You aren’t boring at all. I love hearing you talk”

There’s a radiant blush on his cheek as red as your cherry lips, and you just want to devour him. “When I,” he begins looking away, “When I come to the café, you always seem so interested in what I’m reading. Most people don’t really care about that from me. They care that I ride bikes or about my popular friends. Not that I mind. I’m fine keeping them on a surface level. But,” He looks at you, “I want to know you better.”

“Me too” you blurt out very quickly

Your faces are so adjacent you can smell his soft mint toothpaste from his steady breathing. He’s staring at your glossy lips, your whole form is covered with his warmth, fluttering your senses leisurely

“Want a taste,” you whisper just for him to hear

“I bet it’s as delicious as it looks,” he lets out a heavy breath

“Well lucky you cause tonight I’m serving them specially for you”

You close the distance between your mouths and take in his plump lips. It wasn’t rushed, yet it wasn’t slow. It felt like the most perfect kind of kiss in the silent spring, the one that’s described in timeless romance novels. The one that you tell your children to look for, if they’re fortunate enough in their youth. That they’ll know it’s from the one.

He brings his hand upon your cheek and rubs it tenderly with his thumb. You both move back and stare in each other’s eyes.

“Well…was it delicious?”

“Better than cherry muffins,” he licks his lips to taste your cherry gloss on them

You crinkle your eyes to cringe and giggle

“You’re so cute,” he says and he’s kissing you again

This time he slips his tongue in your mouth and you hum in content, grabbing at the back of his blonde hair. Your tongues dance wildly, and Namjoon reaches for every nook and cranny of your wet cavern. Immoral sounds are escaping you both as your closed eyes burn in delight. Putting your legs on each side of his torso, he hurriedly picks you up from under your thighs and easily carries you inside the room, towards the bed.

You both break off as soon as he lands your bodies on the spring. His body still contains the heat from your thighs, and he’s pressed so close to you, you can feel your nipples against his rock-hard chest as well as the tent in his jeans. Breathing heavily, you stare in his starry eyes, filled with so much lust it feels like they’re dripping.

With a shaky breath you try to melt his lips onto yours again, just for him to shift back.

“Do you want this?” He asks, determined to move off if you refuse him

That would be a sin. “Yes.” You speak clearly, “I always wanted you, since I first saw you, Namjoon.”

“Fuck,” he whispers, before he’s on you again like the kindest, warmest deity he is.

He’s back into exploring your mouth as your hands find their home roaming his broad back. As he moves his hips up and down your wet entrance, a heat shoots up through your spine. His hands are kneading your ass, and everything is moving in slow motion for what feels like forever. Breaking off your mouth, he moves his kisses along your neck down to your cleavage, sucking hickeys on sensitive areas you moaned around. Growling at the invasive flimsy fabric surrounding your chest, he begins to tear it apart. His hands pulled down your transparent bra. You gasp at the intrusion of air surrounding your upper body.

“Mmm, fuck yes baby,” you could feel yourself soaking his cloth covered crotch as you fuck yourself upon his restricted dick.

Namjoon smirks reaching towards your back to take off your bra, letting his warm fingers tickle your skin as you lift your back to help him remove it and discard it to the side. Namjoon takes you in, caressing your face and you feel like he’s going to compliment you before he’s spitting words in your ear

“You little slut, you came here just to be fucked didn’t you”

Flustered you splutter, “Yes, ah please”

“That’s yes daddy for you baby,” he uses his large fingers to take hair off your face and removes his jacket and shirt

“Yes daddy, please,” you eye his tan muscles and broad chest. He noses your jaw and takes his mouth around your areola. You immediately run a hand through his golden locks, your mouth hangs open as he flicks your nipple with his tongue. Around his arms was sunken skin, in the form of muscles and you run your hands through every cervix.

Your breathing is labored

He moves back, moving your thong slightly to the right as he dips two fingers into you,

“Drenched and shameless muffin,” he mutters scissoring your entrance slightly, staring at you darkly

You are sprawled out for him like an unwrapped muffin. One leg hangs off the bed, while the other is desperately wrapped around his torso as if you’re scared he’ll leave. Your breasts are exposed and wet with saliva, and you’ve just handed him your cunt for the taking. You’re high off his soft sandalwood scent, as he takes your chest in his large hand, rolling your nipple in his thumb and index finger, pulling it slightly. His fingers are wet from your juices and you’re embarrassed you’re this wet. Vulnerable, you shut your eyes and look away before he grabs your cheeks with his hand and brings your face back towards him, hitting a certain spot that has you arching your back and knitting your brows.

“Don’t close your eyes baby girl, I need your focus completely on me”

“Then no more teasing,” you pout

Namjoon chuckles as he brings his fingers dripping with your silk into his mouth; looking straight into your soul he licks around his fingers in the lewdest way possible. “Sweeter than cherries” he mutters, slowly unraveling your wrapped leg and caresses the inside of your wet thigh, never letting go as if reassuring you that he’s right here. Languidly, he noses down your navel and further below until he’s lined with your aching core

“Daddy” you whimper

Giving you kitten licks around your folds, he licks a long strip before placing his tongue slightly inside your walls and suckles your juices. Your legs were on each side of his head, and you pulled at his hair out of frustration. The higher your voice went, the more he licked, bringing his tongue around your bundle of nerves and gently rolling the nub around. His hands traveled from your thighs to your waist, and slowly towards your breasts and kneaded. He flattened his tongue against your folds again, to take a finer taste of you, as he hummed knowing you were close. He took his right hand off your chest and used it to slide two fingers into your inner depths.

His mouth then went back to your clit, slowly rolling it around his tongue in a circular motion as his fingers drilled into you faster and faster. You let out a string of curses as your thighs began to shake, and the knot in your stomach becoming undone. You came with a yelp as your eyes began to see stars and vision whitened.

All your sudden adrenaline left you and your limbs limped onto the bed, fingers no longer in Namjoon’s hair. Letting out heavy breaths you saw Namjoon slowly coming out of your legs to face you. His thick lips were wet with your juices, and he licked through them and smiled.

“You’re so beautiful baby girl,” he said before kissing you again. Your tongues danced through your exhaustion, and you moved your hand towards his hard on. You felt him hiss into your mouth as you slowly rubbed him through his jeans. Backing off his mouth you smiled, it’s your turn daddy, and undid his zipper. You felt his hard dick in your hand, blessed in length. Spreading precum around his shaft, you watched him twist his expression. He reached into his back pocket and took out a condom, tearing off the wrapper with his teeth and handing it to you.

You gave him a smile as you rolled the condom onto his length and lined it with your entrance-giving him a hand job as he gradually moved into you. Once he was fully sheathed, he took a moment, before pulling out a slamming into you again

You let out a gasp at his pace, still a bit sensitive from your last orgasm. He was relentless and pounded into you over and over again, as the whole bed shook at his force.

“F-fuck dadd-y ooh” you cried as the same knot appeared inside your stomach. You grabbed his hand on the side of your head and brought it up to your face to give it a kiss. Light headed from the force of his thrusts, you could still feel him looking at you as you brought his hand upon your neck and laid it out flat

He cursed at your submission, and lightly put pressure on your neck “You’re such a good girl, daddy’s good girl, good girl fuck,” his paced faltered and you could feel your orgasm approaching with the pressure around your neck. With his other hand he stimulated your clitoris and that’s all it took to have you cuming once again.

Your mind travels back to how much you’ve wanted this-wanted him. His strong arms are no longer hidden under his bulky jacket, his fingers no longer clean with traces of paper fiber, but with your juices. How the hands you’ve wanted for so long around your neck, the eyes you waited to be filled with just you, the moans you suffered to hear from his luscious lips. It’s all happening. It’s all yours and no amount of overthinking will take this away.

With a few more thrusts he reached his own peak with a grunt, flopping down on you shortly afterward. You could feel his heavy, hot breathing on your neck and you wrapped your hands around him. You take a few more huffs before talking to him.

“I really like you” you whisper

“So I’ve heard,” he chuckles moving off you, he picks you up to move you upright in the bed with your head on the pillow and your arms still around him. He lays down next to you. “I’m not going anywhere baby. I really like you too. You didn’t really think I came for the tea did you”

Your heart soars and you meet his dimpled smile, He looks so youthful with his after sex glow, “Hey I make that tea with a lot of love and care!”

“Right, I’m sorry,” he laughs

“I didn’t know you liked me, your head is always in your books”

“Well originally, I came to chill and read. Until I found the cutest waitress that makes amazing tea-“

“-Shut up,” you jab him with a giggle

“-and I didn’t want to seem creepy, so I just payed attention to my books. But I did try to talk to you. I would stand as still as a tree next to the registrar trying to think of something to say. You tended to look intimidated of me, so I always froze up and just sat down. I asked my friends how to talk to you, and they kept giving me strange advice. I don’t think they know how to get a girl without sexual innuendos. They didn’t know how you looked, just knew you as café girl. If Hoseok found out you were café girl tonight, he’d probably try and do something stupid”

You took in the information he gave you and put the puzzle pieces together. You both were huge overthinking dorks. “I was only intimidated in the beginning,” you begin, “even if I was I still found you hot and probably would’ve jumped on your dick had you asked”

He suppresses some coughs while turning red

Smirking you lead him on, “Oh, so you’re shy now but wanted me to call you daddy just a few minutes ago”

“T-that’s” he begins, and you laugh out loud thinking this is definitely your Namjoon

“What about your choking kink? That was cute and unexpected” he gives you a sly grin

“Wait, shut u-that’s not…it’s your fault with those leather gloves, and leather jackets”

You poke his dimple out of mock anger and he tickles you. The rest of the time is spent by talking out your feelings, your dreams, favorite books, and desserts until you both fall asleep in each other’s arms.

_

You wake up by what you believe is your alarm. Opening your groggy eyes, you look up towards the ceiling of a room that wasn’t yours. After a minute more in conscious you realize it’s not your alarm ringing, but a pounding residing from the closed door of the stranger’s room.

“Can you guys please give me my room back now,” shouts a frustrated Hoseok

That’s when you remember the nights events and look at a sleepy Namjoon next to you. After checking the time of 7:41 shining through the digital clock on the nightstand next to what you now know as Hoseok’s bed, you smile and cuddle up to the warm body.

“Go away Hoseok,” Namjoon groans, “My baby’s trying to sleep.”

Both of you ignore Hoseok’s whines of protest as you whisper to Namjoon

“It’s fine, I’m glad he’s here so I can get to work on time for once. My alarm never wakes me up”

“Babe don’t worry, from now on I’ll be your personal alarm. As long as you can be my cherry muffin”

“I’ll do you one better and make one for you at the café”

“Those cherry muffins taste good,” he looks at you, “but you taste better,” and winks

You giggle until you hear the disturbed voice of Jung Hoseok behind the door,

“You guys are disgusting and have no idea how to whisper”

...

“GET OUT OF MY ROOM”

[sereneskz]

police be mine | bang chan

• format: series

• pairing: bang chan x female reader

[part i] , [part ii]

“Y/N!”

“Y/N get your ass up!”

“Oh my gosh, are you dead woman?”

The exclamations of a pretty frustrated voice filled your eyes, even registered in your brain, however your eyes refused to open and give in.

Murmuring incoherent words, you rolled away from the source in an attempt to block the noise.

You weren’t very successful though as you soon felt two hands grip and shake your physique, turning you towards the person once again.

You let out a groan in protest and raised your hands to pry off the fingers clasped around your forearms.

“Y/N do you really want to be late on the first day of your first job?!”

Minho’s words turned a certain mechanism in your brain as your eyes fluttered open with sudden realisation.

‘Oh crap!’ You thought as you abruptly sat and ended up smashing your forehead with your roommate’s.

You and Minho let out a synchronised groan in pain as both your guys’ hands flew up to soothe the area.

“Jeez Y/N, way to thank me for waking you up,” Minho hissed, standing up to get off the bed.

“Hey, I got hurt too,”  You defended as you threw the covers off of your body.

“What’s the time?” You enquire, struggling to locate your phone although you swear you left it on your nightstand last night.

“6:45,” Minho held up the said object, the lock screen displaying the exact digits.

“Shit! I am so screwed!” You grab your phone and rush into the bathroom, only to re-enter as you realise you forgot to take your clothes.

Minho shakes his head as he observes you, wondering how on earth you would survive without him and leaves the room feeling rather pleased with himself.

Following the speediest shower you had ever taken, you rummage through your drawers to find your watch and head out after grabbing your bag and any other required items.

Upon entering the living room, you find Minho sprawled onto the couch on his phone with a random tv show playing in the background.

Clasping the watch around your wrist, you gather all your things and shove them into your bag.

“Eat something,” Minho’s voice interrupts your journey to the end of the hallway.

“There’s legit no time, it’s too l-,”

“It takes only ten seconds to go into the kitchen and grab something. Plus, we all know how you get when you’ve got nothing in your stomach,”

Minho’s reasoning has you contemplating before you turn back, concluding he’s right.

Being late and going to work on an empty stomach doesn’t sound like the most optimal plan.

Jogging to the fridge, you hurriedly grab an apple along with a bottle of water, all while balancing everything else in your hands.

“By the way, I’ve had actual jobs before this,” you call out as you make your way down the hallway.

“Working part-time at the convenience store around the corner isn’t the most popular career option, Y/N,” He retaliated, his smirk evident in his tone.

“Your really making me question my decision of sharing an apartment with you,”  

“If it weren’t for me you’d still be laying in bed and waving off your job before it even began,”

He was right but he won’t hear you admitting that anytime soon.

You rolled your eyes and skipped out the front door, struggling to cram your right foot into the shoe.

~ 7:21 am ~

“Way to make an impression!’ You thought as you entered the police station.

A rookie officer, almost half an hour late on her first official day of work. How admirable.

Luckily you lived close to a bus stop and got there, well, before it got any later than it already was.

“Oof, someone’s mistaken the police station for their house it seems. Coming and going at their own leisure,” Miyoung sneered as she moved past you.

Miyoung was also a junior officer and someone who you were clearly not on the best terms with. It wasn’t explainable, she just wastes no opportunity to get under your skin despite the fact that you’ve never really done her any harm.

However, that might change considering you both are going to be working under the same roof.

Ignoring her remark with a frown upon your face, you walk towards your desk and plop yourself down on the chair.

Although this was your first official day, you were toured around the station with some other junior officers beforehand, given an introductory brief and assigned your own places.

Because of the orientation, the environment didn’t seem uncomfortable and nor were you clueless about what to do.

But the mistake of being late on the first day was clawing at you from the inside.

“Y/n, you’re late,” A voice informed as you set down your things.

You turned to find Hyunjin, leaning forward on the divider that separated your side from his.

“Yeah, on my first day. Couldn’t get any worse could it?” Was your sarcastic reply as you began to organise your space to find that your nameplate was missing.

‘Where on earth is my nameplate?’ You inwardly question as you start to look for it.

“Actually, I wouldn’t be too confident,” Hyunjin drew out.

You looked up at him, confused, and halted your search with your hand still situated in the drawer.

“The senior officer checked on us this morning. During which, he obviously found out you weren’t here and ordered to have you in his office as soon as you arrived,” Your heart sank.

A sign left your lips as you cursed at yourself for not being able to fall asleep earlier last night. As a result, another person was going to taunt their way into your mind about how unprofessional you were acting.

Hyunjin grimaced seeing your distressed expression, guilt filling him.

“Hey, it can’t be that bad. Perhaps, he just wants to ensure your not going to be late next time,” He tried to ease your stress but to no avail.

Exactly how he was going to make sure you weren’t going to repeat your mistake, was what had you worried.

“That’s if there is a next time,”

You stood up and made your way to the chief officer’s workroom.

Standing in front of the door, you contemplated if your first day at your ideal job was going to be the last.

He wouldn’t possibly fire you without another chance, right? Maybe a warning? More paperwork? Overtime?

Your panel interviews were all held by various representatives of the police who were in charge of recruitment and the tour was given to you by them as well, so you had obviously never met this officer personally.

Although you heard enough about him to picture what he’d be like. He’s said to be very skilled at his work and belongs to the group of the most elite officers the police force has. No wonder he is a chief officer at one of the busiest precincts in the city at a rather young age. Apart from the work-related stuff, barely anyone in the work force is close enough to him to know what he’s like in his private life.

‘He’s probably never been late his entire life!’

‘I bet he’s a crank ass, as well,”

Thinking it’s do or die at this point, you knocked on the door to prevent yourself from appearing even more unpunctual than you already were.

“Come in,” A faint voice sounded.

Cautiously, you entered into the office, keeping your hands behind your back and stood in front of the large desk positioned in the centre of the room. Your heart drummed against your rib cage, a clear sign of your anxiety.

The first thing you saw were numerous files piled up on one side and a few opened up along with other papers scattered across the table.

The next thing was the mop of blonde hair but you were unable to see the face as his neck was bent while he tended to his work.

He looked up at the sound of your footsteps and you swear your heart stopped beating for a solid 5 seconds.

This was definitely far from the visual you conceptualised in your head when you thought of what the chief officer looked like.

Furthermore, you would’ve praised whoever in the universe created the very man sitting in front of you if it weren’t for the pair of eyes that looked like they could consume you whole with a single gaze or the twisting feeling in your stomach which told you that this wasn’t going to be an easy ride.

[chunibtaro]

So uhhhh I drew a lot of RWBY this year... only two of these are non RWBY and tbh I could have just as easily put something RWBY for June Template

Retrospective under the cut bc it’s LONG 

RETROSPECTIVE January: First piece of the year! I still like this piece and I think it shows how much I improved from the original version of it. Also I just like looking at it bc it's soft content of my rare pair. I do think I made the rose look photorealistic which looks... bad esp with all the other more stylized flowers, and I got lazy with the bleeding hearts by just drawing one set and flipping them. Emerald's hair also could look better. February:  I made this around GNG week, which was a fun, good time, long before the server imploded on itself. I got really lazy with the backgrounds, obviously, but I do like the poses in this one, tho it helped that I based it off of screenshots from Young Justice. I also just really like how Merc looks in this one. March: March wasn't a very prolific month for art, I don't think I produced much besides this and one comic piece for GNG week. I'm not sure why exactly, I can't find any specific reason why I would be unproductive that month. I'm gonna just assume I was drained from work all the time and didn't have the energy to put out good art, and also I was getting into a slump bc all my art was starting to look same-y. This piece isn't very good, but I chose it because I did it without a reference, and at this point that was going out of my comfort zone. It's obviously not super dynamic, but at the very least you can tell I intended there to be motion to it. April: This also wasn't a very prolific month for art, not as bad as March, but for the same reasons. I was also really starting to feel burnout from the RWBY fandom, specifically wasps and conflict within the GNG server. This was also when the Art vs the Artist meme was popular, and I realized I didn't want to do that meme because my art was too similar and boring, which also brought me down a peg. Though I put out a few good chibis in April, I chose my Mercury redesign bc I was really proud of it. I could never get the Emerald redesign to mesh quite right, but I can say I'm really proud of how Mercury's came out. May: May had me bounce out of my art slump and in full force trying to expand my skills! Specifically exploring painting. Although May was about as prolific as April, what I did create I put a lot into. It was difficult to pick between this and my app of Edison, because I'm really proud of both, but in the end I went with this commission of Mercury because I pushed myself to try and use an interesting perspective for the piece instead of my usual stand still and face the camera pose. Because I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, this was one of the best things I made all year, and may be my favorite piece of the year. June: TIME TO STRESS OUT ABOUT CONNECTICON! So if you follow me on twitter, you might have noticed I made a lot of posts at the beginning of the year low key throwing shade at myself for drawing my oc's instead of more "important" art. Well, that important art that I was procrastinating was con merch, and con was the second week of July, so I really had to get my ass in gear to finish merch on time (spoiler, I didn't finish a lot of it on time). This piece and July's piece are both posters I made for Connecticon, and while I like July's much better, that doesn't mean I find this piece bad. I really should have known that no one at con would realize it was a goonies reference tho -_-; I also lost a lot of love for this piece after season 6 of Voltron, which I watched while I was about 60% of the way through this piece, so I had to force myself to finish it. July: I love this piece!!!! Don't get me wrong, I know it has flaws, but look at it! The lines are so crisp, the colors look good, Roman and Merc's expressions are mwuah chefs kiss, and I just love all of them!!! ... except for Neo. I really didn't do her justice in this piece, her hair is too fluffy, her head is way to oversized to the point that she looks like a bobblehead, and her eyes are too close together. Really if you take out Neo's head that whole problem goes away. I also love all the tiny details I put in this one, from emerald's chaps to roman's rose to Neo's lace parasol. You can tell I was way more passionate about this piece than I was about the Voltron piece.  August:  pretty sure this is when I quit my job cashiering, and thank god bc customers suck. If I was going off of sheer popularity, Chibi Pyrrha would have taken this slot no contest, and while I love chibi Pyrrha, I don't think it was the best of the month. I chose this little princess and the pauper au doodle because I tried a year ago to draw these two dancing, and it looked like dog shit. It was flat and ugly. But this has motion to it, and even looking at it now makes me feel warm and happy inside. It's just a good cute drawing of my otp. September: My piece for the RWBY tarot project! I have a lot of mixed emotions about this one. on the one hand, I love how mercury looks, his expression, the lighting, the visceral gore from his legs (ESPECIALLY THE VISCERAL GORE ON HIS LEGS) and the hands of the undead, all look stunning and I don't think I could be more happy with how they turned out. And then we get to the background. The caduceus isn't the worst thing ever, but it's severely lacking in quality compared to the rendering on mercury in front of it, and a lot of it is clearly pixellated from me trying to stretch and squash it just right. And the fire is a hot (no pun intended) mess. It's flat, incoherent, and doesn't lead the eye anywhere. It's a shame too because I wanted to do more with it, but I a) didn't have enough time or patience to figure out what I needed to do to fix it and b) didn't want to go outside of my comfort level, so I gave up and decided to be satisfied with what I had. October: October was another good month for art, I made a turnaround sheet for Moss, painted a full body (and slightly lewd) Rudy, and made a decent attempt at inktober. Ok, so I got like 2 days in, but I improved a lot on inking from last year! Fun fact! this piece was originally going to be fan art of Lindsay Jones, but after I did some thumbnails to figure out a pose, I thought it would suit White Diamond better, and I could also sell it as merch. I love this piece. I think I captured the sinister mood well, and conveyed the story I wanted to without any dialogue (at least the notes on Tumblr make me assume I did a decent job, lotta people really wigged out lol) I really worked hard to get the lighting right on this one, and I think it shows. My absolutely favorite thing about this piece funnily enough, is Amethyst. I think I just did a great job drawing her and I'm proud of myself ok. Stevens bubble and my trouble figuring out how to get WD's leg just right are the only things that I dislike about this piece, but I might go back and fix those. November: IM SO PROUD OF THIS COMMISSION!!!!!! I worked so god damn hard on this chef's kiss poifect,  and it really shows. I started using a new brush at this point, the Ojing series on Clip Studio Paint, which I recommend and have been using a lot since. I've also been using this shading technique since drawing this. I love how it sort of fades out but it's still really crisp. I also love all the little details that give this piece character, like her shoes and the stripes on her jacket. This piece really takes a lot of the stuff I learned over the year and combines it into one piece, and I could not be prouder of it. I have absolutely no problems with this one, though I do find the weapon a bit plain, but it's what the client described. December: AND NOW IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!! I had been working on this piece since August, going back to it every now and then and getting frustrated. I'm really glad I came back to it and finally finished it, since I love this pair and I put a lot of effort into it back in August. However, I'm also really glad I completely overhauled a lot of it, specifically the flowers. Though I'm not 100% happy with the mums in this one, they look a thousand times better than the mums I had originally sketched back in August, and were part of the reason I had such a hard time finishing this for months. I also thought it would be nice to end the year on the same note it started; with a flower couple. I've definitely learned a lot since January, and I hope to continue growing in 2019! 2019 GOALS!

Work on backgrounds for the love of god

Draw more stuff that isn't RWBY

Perspective

Make more speed paints and post more to youtube in general

[werewolfwilds]

i redid an ask meme that i had originally done ~3 years ago to see the comparison so for archiving purposes im putting it in a lil journal entry here ! i wanna start doing small journal entries again it was fun when i did that

new answers bolded

1) what images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?

my desktop bg is literally just…. a collage of kageyama manga screencaps a h a,,,, and my cellphone bg are drawings some gay drew me like 74724 years ago :v // my desktop rn is actually a background from one of the dmmd routes LMFAO..... idk which one it is but i’ve always liked those bg pics!! my cell lock screen is p5 art and my bg is leopika

2) have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

nooooope // nah

3) what was your last text message?

my phone is dead so i wouldnt be able to tell you lmfao i dont even remember // it was a gif from kelly lol

4) what do you see yourself doing in 10 years?

hopefully working a job i enjoy and making costumes and being happy!! // god i have no idea and it freaks me out... hopefully working,,

5) if you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?

hoommee ((or at katsucon tbh)) // at the beach with friends maybe

6) what was your coolest halloween costume?

a white cat probably lmao // i dont think ive ever had a particularly exciting halloween costume but one year i was sharpay from high school musical and i think i peaked then tbh

7) what was your favorite 90s show?

uhhhh….. i didnt really… start watching tv until like… the 2000′s so i really cant tell you man lol // spongebob started in 1999 does that coUNT,

8) who was your last kiss?

(answer redacted) // :/ someone should kiss me so i can change this answer lmao

9) have you ever been stood up?

nope //  nah

10) favorite ice cream flavor?

vanilla w/ vanilla oreos ok u need to underst a n d // this hasn’t changed i haven’t had this particular ice cream in a long time but i still stand by it

11) have you been to las vegas?

nahh // nope

12) your favorite pair of shoes?

idk i have these black ones i wear everywhere lol // i have a pair of white sneakers that i refuse to stop wearing now

13) honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?

i wouldnt even consider it. // no bc i’m not a piece of shit lmao?

14) what is your favorite fruit?

hmmm…. pineapple orrr…. strawberries but only if they’re the really good kind like they have to be perfect // pineapple!!

15) have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself  dating/having sex with? if possible?

….. ye s… yes. // in the past apparently so but thinking about it now nah lol

16) are you into hookups? short or long term relationships?

hookups arent my thing eh i prefer long term relationships altho i cant really say ive been in a “long” term relationship pffff // i don’t think hookups will ever be my thing, emotionally long term relationships are what i’m here for but i’m also a Very Impulsive Person so i cant tell you if this will stay a fact :’)

17) do you smoke? if so, what?

nope dont wanna // no thanks

18) what do you do to get over your anger?

usually talk to people or shout into word // i have to vent about it to someone probably a thousand times even months or years after it happens tbh

19) do you believe in god?

nahh // nah

20) does the person you’re in love with know it?

i aint in love with anyone rn so no? // i’m not in love with anyone.

21) favorite position?

………….. for w hat………. // oh honey lmfao... N/A

22) what’s your horoscope sign?

virgo/ox ovob // Virgo/sun, Aries/moon, Libra/rising and Cancer/midheaven

23) your fears?

literally everything i already named a few so ill name some others… ghh anything in… the ocean or lakes and stuff frightens me and i really dont know why bu tlike…. fish and crabs and jellyfish and seaweed cuz it’s evil and stu f f basically anything that’s not a mammal or turtles or penguins…. lo l im a baby // uncertainty is a big fear of mine and also people being mad at me lmao... as far as physical fears though i have debilitating fears of almost all insects/arachnids and lobsters/shrimp/crawfish :^)))))

24) how many pets do you have? what kind?

two cats and a dog!! // one cat one dog

25) what never fails to turn you on?

i dunno,,/////// // lol neck biting/kissing oof

26) your idea of a perfect first date?

im okay with mostly anything i just really like spending time with the person ; v ; // i’ve never really had an answer for this? thinking about dates has always made me so anxious for whatever reason but i’ll be happy to just spend time with them doing whatever honestly, i’m a super indecisive person aha

27) what is something most people don’t know about you?

i dont really know tbh lmfao // i’ve considered in the past looking into mental conditions (anxiety/bpd/etc) to see if i might have one or two but i never want to say anything about it because i don’t want to self-diagnose anything.

28) what makes you feel the happiest?

nice weather and nice conversations w/ best people u//v//u // nice weather and hanging out with people who are fun and easy to talk to

29) what store do you shop at most often?

does….. arda wigs count or… // does arda wigs still count bc mood lmao but truthfully now it’s probably target

30) how do you feel about oral? giving and/or receiving?

kkdkjsfkjkjfj??fsfj/// go for i t??? i have no problems with i t??? i dont think ill ever be willing to put a dick in my mouth though // these random sexual questions thrown in here are something aren’t they lmao. not going to disclose much but i will stand by the fact that i will not put a dick in my mouth lo l

31) do you believe in karma?

sometimes ye // i believe that people will eventually get what’s coming to them but i don’t believe in karma as a solid concept if that makes sense? like i don’t think it’s guaranteed

32) are you single?

yup yup // yeah it’s been wild lmao

33) do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?

i think being sincere is the best way to apologize– if you truly mean it the person will know. you dont need to buy your forgiveness. // the best way to apologize is just to apologize sincerely and change your behavior if it’s applicable.

34) are you a good swimmer?

ehh??? im ok i guess– i took swimming lessons as a kid but i havent done legit swimming ever since then lmao,, ive always been best at the backstroke tho yea // i mean i have the ability to swim but i’m not olympic-worthy or anything lmao

35) coffee or tea?

ehhh im not big on either tbh // chocolate milk and you can fight me

36) online shopping or shopping in person?

depends what your shopping for i guess?? online is more relaxed i guess // online probably because shopping in person Gives Me Anxiety

37) would you rather be older or younger than your current age?

ehhh im happy where i am tbh // older

38) cats or dogs?

do not make me choose // cats and dogs* there i fixed it for you

39) are you a competitive person?

ahaa,,,,, oh god yeah,, // OOF yeah

40) do you believe in aliens?

i believe there’s life on other planets somewhere?? so i guess?? // i believe in aliens in the sense that there’s no way we are the only living life forms in the universe but not in the science-fiction way you feel me

41) do you like dancing?

i do but i suck at it lmao // i do but i: A- suck, and B- have no stamina

42) what kind of music to you listen to?

nearly everything tbh // i’m not picky when it comes to music but imma be real w u. almost all of the music on my phone is kpop. seventeen is my favorite group along with astro, and i also enjoy super junior, shinee, red velvet, etc among so many others,,, im pretty wide spread !

43) what is your favorite cartoon character?

i will never be able to pick just one // i’ll literally never be able to answer this

44) where are you from?

philadelphia uvu // philly!

45) eat at home or eat out?

hmmm at home. // at home

46) how much more social are you when you’re drunk?

i never plan on being drunk tyvm // i’ve never consumed alcohol in my life and to be Quite Fucking Honest i want nothing to do with it

47) what was the last thing you bought for yourself?

bracelets ! ; u ; // uh... excluding food and music... earrings i think

48) why do you think your followers follow you?

uhhhhhhh lmfao i have no idea i think… a good amount are for my cosplays at least?? or id like to think so lmfao but i really dont know pfft // my followers have just accumulated and hung around over the years... i know i gained a good amount from my snk days as arlert-the-troops and then through my haikyuu phase, whether it was for my cosplay or other posts that i made... whenever someone follows me now im not entirely sure what its for but i appreciate everyone who’s stuck around!

49) how many hours do you sleep at night?

it’s never regular man // 6-9 (lol) hours is pretty normal for me

50) what worries you most about the future?

everything tbh // the future as a concept worries me lol

[littlenancydrewthings]

#cluecrewquestionnaire

rules: copy and paste, answer the questions, tag 10 people to do the same!

1. What is your favorite Nancy Drew game and why?

ASH forever, for reasons I’ve subjected you all to endless gushing about over the years. SHA, because I’m from the Southwest (the same part of Arizona, actually) and the game captures it perfectly, and is perfect in every other way. MHM, because you can’t beat a quintessential haunted Victorian, and for nostalgia reasons mentioned below.

2. Have you played all 32 games in the series? If not, which ones haven’t you played? If yes, which one did you play first?

All except the original Secrets Can Kill. My first was MHM in 2001. I’d read some of the books, and I’ve always been obsessed with ghosts and mysteries, so the title and cover caught my eye at the store. The screenshots in the fold-out cover with their eerie captions captured my imagination. After that it was all I could think about. I brought it up for weeks, until eventually I came home from playing outside and found it sitting on my bed. We couldn’t afford it and I didn’t really expect to get it, so I was beyond excited. Playing it in the dark living room alone that night was nothing short of magical.

3. What is your favorite quote from any character in the series?

“It’ll be brief, painful, and full of garbage, but that’s life, isn’t it?” “It’s good to know you’re keeping the mean streets of Pancake City free from crime!” And pretty much everything Alexei says.

4. If you could change the ending to any game, which one would it be (no spoilers, though)?

The Silent Spy would have a satisfying ending that did justice to the deep and complex story it had up until then, instead of the rushed, haphazard thing we got.

5. Which game is your least favorite, and why?

MED, for too many reasons to unpack in a paragraph.

6. Which character is your favorite? Why?

do I even need to say it

7. Which character is your least favorite? Why?

Rick Arlen and Tino Balducci. They’re sleazy but not in a good way, like how Toni Scallari and Brenda Carlton are entertaining to interact with while being horrible.

8. How do you feel about the whole Nancy/Ned vs. Nancy/Frank situation? Do you ship her with someone else? Who, and why?

I don’t think Nancy is particularly interested in either of them, or in settling down at all.

9. Do you have any fun headcanons about any of the games or characters?

Until we met him in person, I used to headcanon that the reason we could never quite catch up with Sonny Joon was because he was on the International Space Station. Jamila blogs about classic sci-fi.

10. If you could visit any of the game locations, which ones and why?

Ryokan Hiei would be first. I would love to be in Nancy’s shoes, when there are no other guests left and she has the whole place to herself. Iceland. I’d own the Golden Gardenia, because it ticks every box on my ultimate fantasy home checklist. I'd spend a weekend at Thornton Hall with my ghost hunting team (if they didn’t get too scared to stay). I’d book a room at Wickford Castle when there was a snowstorm coming, and do exactly what you do in the game.

11. Did you read any of the original Nancy Drew books? If yes, do you like them? If no, would you consider reading one?

Yes, I discovered them as a kid, a year or two before I discovered the games. My first was The Secret of Shadow Ranch. They have that old-fashioned charm, and I enjoy the detailed descriptions of Nancy’s outfits and Hannah’s meals. But they’re also super formulaic and frequently racist. Most of my favorite books are more recent. I particularly love Lights, Camera... and the sequel Action! They’re begging to be adapted for a game.

12. What is one thing any good detective can’t live without?

Killer background music.

13. Which game had the best soundtrack?

CLK’s use of the 1930s sound is 👌👌👌 FIN's music couldn’t be more perfect for a darkened historic theater. It’s mysterious, magical and haunting, like ghostly remnants of the music that played in the theater during its heyday. I love how CAR has carousel music not just on the ride itself, but worked into the many of the songs. Sometimes it’s creepy, sometimes dreamy, like the ballroom theme, which evokes ghostly ladies and gentlemen waltzing around the haunted house that was once the Galaxy Ballroom. And of course, MHM’s soundtrack is a classic. It captures the feeling that the mansion is an isolated bubble of its own history and secrets, unconcerned with the world passing by outside. I love that each room has its own theme, like characters, from the eerily faded saloon music in the basement to the Chinese room to the dark, forgotten sound of the attic.   

14. What is one thing you wish HER would’ve included in any of the games (a conversation, interaction, location, feature, etc)?

More recurring characters. So many of them are way too great to only use once. Also more background on everyone. A big part of why I love Alexei so much is that he’s one of the few characters we get extensive background details on.

15. Do you have any ideas for a future game? What is it?

Tons! I’ve posted one, with ideas for more.

16. How long does it take you to finish a game from start to finish?

Depending on how many times I’ve played it, anywhere from two to eight hours. Hard to fathom now that my first playthrough of MHM took months. I didn’t yet have the internet to find a walkthrough, and would put it aside for awhile when I got really stuck. Some of the puzzles weren’t very intuitive for a nine year old.

17. Did any of the games scare you? If yes, which ones? If no, why?

My first time playing MHM, the “I see you” on the stairs scared me so bad that I never used those stairs again, I took the creaky ones every time. The dog attack in Ghost Dogs scared me to death as a kid. Being outside when the howling started and Red saying “get back in the house” was super effective. It’s hard to scare me anymore, yet I dread going near the burned out ruins in GTH. The bad vibes are oppressive.

18. Why did you join the Nancy Drew fandom here on tumblr?

There wasn’t one when I started this blog! I’d seen other “___ things” blogs and kept thinking of Nancy Drew things. I doubted there were any other fans, let alone adults, but figured I’d make the blog anyway for my own enjoyment. I was thrilled to hit 20 followers. I was totally blindsided by how it took off. I’m continuously grateful and amazed by how good my experience of this fandom has been.

19. What is your favorite Nancy Drew joke (from in-game or even floating around the internet)?

I get a kick out of how SPY is the Ascended Meme game. I did not expect how feelsy they managed to make the horse shirt.

20. Who is someone in the clue crew you’ve always wanted to get to know?

I have! <3

21. What are three unpopular opinions you hold about the games?

Ned is bland. I don’t mind Fox and Geese. I’m okay with Nancy getting a new voice actress.

22. Do you have any fun theories about any of the games?

The prop lady is Nancy as an old lady, which is why the prop room is full of souvenirs from her cases. Aunt Eloise writes about Nancy’s adventures under the pen name Carolyn Keene, hence the box of yellow-spined books in her house.

23. Who was your favorite animal character featured in the games?

Iggy with his tiny outfits!

24. Do other people in your life know about your love for Nancy Drew?

It would be impossible for them not to!

25. How long have you been playing these games?

Since 2001, when I was nine.

Anyone who wants to do this, consider yourself tagged!

[buzzycohen]

I am going to start a list of the books that’s really affected me as a child and I’ll come back and edit this list as I remember more

1. Flying Solo by Ralph Fletcher

I remember reading this twice and just breaking down both times. I didn’t understand death as anything more than one person going until I read this book and I realized the effects of leaving... Rachel and her selective mutism demonstrated the consequences of words and this led to a hyper awareness of how I spoke and what I spoke about. I honestly went mute for a couple days at a time as a child because I was too afraid to talk.... re-evaluated how I spoke because of this book

2. The Hidden Staircase by Carolyn Keene

I read The Hidden Staircase in my mother’s bed, tucked into her white comforter. Nancy Drew stumbling upon the connecting passageway and ending up in that house down the street? Lord, the imagery for that in my beautiful young mind was glorious.

3. The Lost Hero by Rick Riordan

Loved Percy Jackson, I have reread the series many times. Loved the Heroes of Olympus too. I probably read The Lost Hero the most though. Leo Valdez is what peak comic relief should be with kids. The characters are all products of just enough family issues and emotional turmoil and typical teen stuff that they’re perfectly normal and relatable TEENAGERS. Rick Riordan writes kids and teens in such a nice refreshing way. I think of Mister Rogers when I think of Rick because here’s a guy who created a little word specifically for children/teenagers so that they can feel natural and healthy and included and LOVED. The more he writes, the more people give him flack for being too out of tune and for creating characters just to be called inclusive. But he writes for children and kids love to see themselves and be loved. The Lost Hero was Rick’s first time introducing a new set of protagonists after the Percy Jackson series and homeboy pulled it OFF! Sophomore slump, who? I still pick this book up and read it. Too much love from me.

4. A Corner of the Universe by Ann M. Martin

When I found out that Ann M. Martin was a lesbian, it all made sense to me. Babysitter’s Club? Oh yeah. It makes sense!! But A Corner of the Universe will always be my favorite from her. I recently read an article about the gay history behind children’s books and how there are so many book series about best friends written by gay authors and I immediately thought that if the article had not focused specifically on children’s picture books, then A Corner of the Universe should have been in it. There’s a scene where the main character meets a girl at the circus and the girl performs there and Hattie can’t stop thinking about this girl... immediately thought of that when Ann’s sexuality was made known to me and then I remembered little me and my poor heart aching for that kind of friendship and realizing ‘ohhhhhhhhhh.....’. Yeah.

5. Jumping the Scratch by Sarah Weeks

Yo this one kind of messed me up because I had never read about s*xual *ssault before. I don’t think any books on this list changed me as a person but there are moments I have with all of these that I come back too and that’s what makes them special. But I remember the cherry cans in this and I remember the hypnotism and I dunno... I just think how silly our minds are to bring up these details years and years after we have experienced reading these scenes.

6. Magyk by Angie Sage

Picked this one up randomly and I loved it but I seriously doubt I ever finished it and I certainly did not read the other books. So why include it? The next couple authors had books that provided such odd imagery for me and for some reason, young me LOVED THAT. No wonder I like Dickens so much? He writes 10000 words to describe one thing and Sage wrote 10 words to describe a whole day or something. Just goes back and forth between everything so you don’t realize a character is dead until you read about it 20 pages after the fact... I want to hate this book and I cannot recollect why I even liked it but I read it- but never finished it? About 3 times within a couple months. So odd.

7. Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card

Yo. If we’re taking about odd imagery, let’s talk about this one. Card never described Ender. I never got what a twirp Ender is. But I could always always always figure out the setting and that was fucking RAD. People would talk and my brain shut down. But when you’re describing how shoes are tied or walking on walls- I don’t even think Card did a good job at detailing the games Ender played but homeboy believed in understatement and there’s nothing that I loved more than understatement so I made up EVERYTHING. Which is glorious for a child who loves to read because it’s like giving us a fourth of a puzzle and we’re allowed to make the rest. I probably learned critical skills from Orson Scott Card. Too bad he sucks.

8. The Lost Gate by Orson Scott Card

I read this one before Ender’s Game and never put together that they were written by the same twirp of an author. Same reasons for liking it like Ender’s Game. Will not reread it because I know I would hate it now that I know how boys should be written.... aka not by modern sci-fi boys like Orson Scott Card.... lmao

9. Just Listen by Sarah Dessen

Owen is a sweetheart who I personally think was autistic coded. And the main character living in that glass house with her model sister and her detachment from popularity because of a misunderstanding... Sarah Dessen’s best novel in my opinion. Don’t wanna give too much away but I was quite fraught and trying to overcome my pretentiousness when I read this and it helped put things into perspective for me when I had been trying to denounce others by being “independant” when really, no one should ever be independant

10. Amos Fortune, Free Man by Elizabeth Yates

Probably the book I think about most. I was read this aloud in 4th grade and I still hold this story close to my heart. I think a lot of white kids don’t take slavery seriously and don’t really assume that consequences of slavery exist to this day. I transferred schools in 7th grade and like... you can tell that even one book changes a groups mindset because there was complete respect over the topic of slavery once my class was read Amos Fortune but my new grade did not have that background and it shows.

11. Number The Stars - Lous Lowry

12. Nothing But The Truth: A Documentary Story by Avi

Completely forgot about this book until I was looking at Newberry Prize Winning authors and recognized the title... Nothing But The Truth probably subconsciously formed my opinion about the Star Spangled Banner and other nationalistic patriotism in the US. Coming back to this book after the 2016 election and the come up of “fake news”.... whew. Avi knew something before the rest of us.

13. The Tale of Despareaux by Kate DiCamillo

14. From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E. L. Konigsburg.

15. Hatchet by Gary Paulson

16. Feathers by Jacqueline Woodson

17. Mixed Bags by Melody Carlson

[twdmusicboxmystery]

7x13: Details

 Okay, just wanted to go over some details in the episode.

1. The number 5. We saw 5 Kingdom-ers at the beginning with the cantaloupe: Richard, Ezekiel, Jerry, and two others. Then when Carol kills walkers in the tree, she kills four with the sign and one more with a knife: 5 total. Probably pointing us back toward S5 for, you know, some odd reason. ;D

2. Candlelight Theme. We saw it with Carol at the beginning when she woke from her nightmare. After Benjamin dies, we see it with Morgan as well. Both are in psychological distress when we see this. Of course, there are Norman’s famous lines about Beth being the light in the dark tunnel for Daryl. Daryl was in serious psychological distress after the prison went down, and Beth helped him heal from that. This kind of lighting almost always signals serious emotional angst.

3. 63 on the wall again. @bluesandbeth told me that in issue 63 of the comic books, Michonne is thought to be dead…but then turns up alive. Hmmm.

4. I wondered if Nabila meant anything specific. It means “Noble or Excellent.” Another thing I didn’t mention on Monday was what she said about burning the garden down. She said the beautiful thing was that, “If you want, it can all grow back. ” They “get to come back,” but it’s always a choice. Carol was making a choice by staying alone in that cabin. She was in a self-imposed Purgatory and wasn’t progressing at all. Now she’s made the choice to move forward and become part of the world (the Kingdom) again. Same with Ezekiel choosing not to fight the Saviors.

5. Benjamin’s girlfriend. Benjamin talked about some girl who helped him with the picture, but wouldn’t tell Morgan anything else about her. A Nonny suggested maybe this was a way of paralleling Benjamin with Zack. He definitely does have a similar, boyish look to Zack. For me, it depends on whether we ever meet this girl or not. If we do, we’ll have to see what role she plays in the show. If not, she’s only symbolic. The thing is, this was more than just a minor detail. Morgan asked Benjamin about her at least twice. They really drew attention to this, so I’ll be interested to see where, if anywhere, it goes.

6. Jerry’s cobbler. Okay, small totally silly note here. I think the cobbler has come to symbolize something good. Maybe happiness, normalcy. We saw it with Carol in 7x02. Only a place like the Kingdom that’s well settled and has a decent food supply could reasonably expect to have or make cobbler. Anyway, Ezekiel told Jerry to leave the cobbler. Yeah, it was a funny–gotta love Jerry’s smile–but also kind of random. I wondered if it was a foreshadow that bad things were afoot. (Yes, that was an extremely lame pun. Someone else also pointed out to me that a “cobbler” is someone who makes shoes. So the cobbler could also be tied to the shoe/foot theory. Just throwing that out there. ;D)

7. The Kingdomers gave the Saviors their guns. We’ve seen this before, as Negan took all the guns from Alexandria. But this made me think of Noah giving up his gun and giving into Dawn at Grady. Not only did that result in disaster where Beth was concerned, but I do think it showed his weakness as a character and led to his death later on. (X) Here, Ezekiel and co give up their guns. Not long after, Benjamin is dead.

8. The Saviors said they were going to “teach them” just like the Claimers. Small detail, but Gavin said, “You have to learn the stakes, so we’re going to teach you.” This not only points us back toward S4 but shows that the “bad guys” in this season are being set up as parallels to earlier things we’ve seen.

9. We again saw the theme of the Saviors killing someone for what someone else did. I thought it was interesting because in this case, it wasn’t supposed to happen. Gavin was surprised when he turned around and Jarod had shot Benjamin. He was supposed to kill Richard, as Gavin originally said. This has become more than just something intentional on Negan’s part.

10. “It’s As or Fs, no Is.” “One, not more not less.” I was a little confused by this part. Assuming these are letter grades with A being the highest and F being “fail,” and I’m assuming I = Incomplete, then it makes sense in the dialogue. They’re saying the drops have to be all or nothing. But I was reminded of shirt Daryl wore at the Sanctuary. It had a red A with what looked like an I super-imposed over it, which doubled as a handle of sorts. Not sure if this is what they’re going for, or even what it all means, but it’s what I thought of.

11. Carol planted tomatoes. We’ve seen tomatoes a lot, especially around Morgan, and most recently at the Kingdom. The thing I noticed was that on this package, it says, “Boston pickling.” I thought it was a pickle reference. @bluesandbeth told me that this company most often does cucumbers, not tomatoes. This may even be an incorrect pairing–something they put together for the show. A double pickle reference and paired with the tomato reference. ***Update: I need to fix the above reference. I misunderstood the information sent to me. Boston Pickling isn't a company. It's a type of cucumber. Im looking into it further but just know for now that we can't find any evidence that there is any such thing as a Boston pickling tomato. That type of plant, from what we've seen, doesn't exist. Just wanted to clarify. Thanx for the correction @bluesandbeth! 💖***

12. Family Doctor sign in background. Lots of people have sent me doctor or ER signs that have been in the background. I guess I’m finally starting to pick them up on my own. This one was behind Morgan, specifically when he found the missing melon. You know, the one that was separated from the others and hidden? As though a doctor or medical institution may have had something to do with that?

13. “Benjamin, get your gun up.” Okay I’m gonna be a total TD geek about this. They called attention to this twice. Richard says it when they first stop at the road block, and then Morgan thinks about it again after Benjamin’s death. It’s what makes him realize that Richard was the culprit. Richard says it just as he secretly separates the hidden melon from the others. I couldn’t help but think of the fact that Dawn’s gun simply wasn’t “up” far enough to have shot Beth. So right when the melon was separated from the others, “Benjamin, get your gun up.” I’m probably really reaching. Meh. Whatevs. It’s what it made me think of.

14. Babies Crying - Richard mentions this several times when telling Morgan about the camp he used to be in. It made me think of episode 5x09 where we not only saw an emphasis on Judith crying from 7x01, but we also heard echoes of it all throughout the episode. Now we had an emphasis on it here.

15. Finally, @sparklepoodles pointed this out to me. It originates in 7x10, when Daryl keeps Richard putting his plan into action that would have gotten Carol killed. Not only did they foreshadow Richard’s death through dialogue. (Richard: I would die for the Kingdom. Daryl: Then why don’t you?) but look at this picture:

Tell me that’s not a foreshadow of Richard’s death and, more specifically, to Morgan strangling him. 

16. The bull rider picture. I wanted to do this one last because it’s the most intriguing to me. I don’t have a specific theory, but I just wanted to share some observations. This is important, not only because it’s exactly the kind of detail they like to hide symbolism but it was also emphasized in the quiz on TTD.

I had to research bull fighting and found that I knew very little about it. Basically, it’s all about a fighter (commonly called a matador) showing off his skill by killing a massive, angry bull. It’s a brutal sport and they do kill the bull by the end. Usually. In the first stage, the bull fighter observes the bull, looking for strengths and weaknesses, and takes steps to weaken it physically, often by stabbing it to cause injury and blood loss. In the second stage, more steps are taken to weaken the bull, including stabbing it with barbed sticks that will remain in order to weaken its strong neck and shoulder muscles. The killing, in which the matador must several the bull’s spinal cord, happens in stage 3. It’s very dangerous for the matador, of course, but almost always fatal for the bull. (There are some special cases where they might let the bull live, but that’s rare.)

I don’t see a whole lot of TD things in this symbol. I’m side-eyeing a few things, but overall, I think this is a very strong Morgan symbol. In fact, it’s probably a very negative sign for Morgan. Morgan is the matador. Benjamin, however, is not the bull. Richard is. How do I know that? Well, for one thing, Morgan didn’t kill Benjamin, but he had to use his strength and skill to kill Richard. Another thing I read? After the bull is finally killed, it’s body is dragged through the arena by a team of mules. Kinda like this:

And then there’s the fact that there is a blue prohibition sign (the circle with the line through it) over the entire picture, as if to warn that this would be a very bad thing for Morgan to do. To me, that just points to his downward spiral even more.

It did occur to me that the three stages of the bull fighting could represent Morgan’s bouts with sanity, but since he’s the matador, I’m not entirely sure that works.

And the things I’m side-eyeing? @bluesandbeth pointed out that how the bulls are killed isn’t so far off how walkers are killed in the show, which I think is a good point. You could, of course, relate this to Beth specifically because they didn’t stab her in the brain. (I had a Nonny point out that Morgan stabbed Richard in the brain despite an obvious head injury, which is a super-interesting observation - X).

The only other thing that caught my attention here is the red cape. It’s the traditional symbol of the matador, which is how you can tell (other than the bull) that this is a picture of a bull fighter. But I immediately went back to the red cape/poncho/whatever-it-was in Beth’s cell. 

I’m not sure how that would tie into this, unless it’s as anti-parallel. Morgan killed Richard, but he might have saved Beth.

And then there’s the fact that the prohibition sign on Morgan’s painting is GREEN. Just saying.

So anyway, like I said, no specific theory. Just observations.

That’s everything I had in my notes. Anyone pick up any other tidbits?